In this episode of the Hot Wife Podcast, hosts Donna Lynn and Vince discuss the impact of swinging on body image and self-perception. They explore how comfort with one's body can influence participation in swinging, the importance of surrounding oneself with positive influences, and how confidence can enhance sexual energy. The conversation emphasizes that attraction is often more about the energy one exudes rather than physical appearance alone. In this conversation, the speakers explore the dynamics of social interactions within the swinging lifestyle, discussing the contagious nature of energy and positivity, the challenges of body image, and the importance of self-acceptance. They emphasize the need for individuals to find their place within the lifestyle, navigate party dynamics, and maintain a sense of fun and openness in their experiences.TakeawaysThe views expressed on this podcast are opinions, not professional advice.Body image can significantly affect one's willingness to engage in swinging.Comfort with one's body is crucial for participating in the swinging lifestyle.Positive feedback from others can enhance self-image and confidence.Different groups within the swinging community can impact self-perception.Sexual energy and charisma can outweigh physical imperfections.Surrounding oneself with supportive people can lead to a better experience.Self-acceptance is key to enjoying intimate experiences.Attraction is often about the energy one exudes rather than looks.Confidence can be boosted by positive interactions in swinging environments. Energy and positivity can be contagious in social settings.The first experience in swinging can be intimidating.Body image issues can arise from social interactions.It's important to vet potential partners before engaging.Self-acceptance is crucial in navigating the lifestyle.Understanding your audience is key to social interactions.Not everyone will be your cup of tea, and that's okay.Be honest with yourself about your body and choices.It's essential to have fun and not take things too seriously.Learn from experiences and move on if things don't work out.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/hot-wife-podcast-and-the-swinger-lifestyle--5343522/support. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Transcript
Welcome to the Hot Wife Podcast, where we dive into discussions about relationships, intimacy, and everything in between. Before we begin, we want to make it clear that the views expressed on this podcast are solely those of the host and guests, and should be taken as opinions, not professional or medical advice. Additionally, we remind all listeners that this podcast is intended for adults over the age of 18.
Unauthorized rebroadcast of this show is strictly prohibited without the written permission of the podcast of course i'm here with the ever- vince of course yes he's the brains behind the whole thing and the pretty face as well and again be looking for the hot husband podcast i'm surprised that you didn't keep that little opening you made for the hot husband. That was freaking funny, honey. Well, it was funny to us. It is funny to us. It's like, come on, yeah, baby, I'm the hot husband. I'm the trophy husband. I just like how you laugh about it. It's okay. I find it endearing and funny. Okay.
So. Anyway, spring's almost here. I can't wait. Saturday is going to be high. I was 78, I think I thought. Whatever. Well, that's like summertime winter. As long as it's not 48, we're fine. Open the pool, baby. No, not yet. You're welcome to. My nipples will pop off, right? Yeah. It's quite cold. That would be happening. Also want to thank, or apologize maybe, I don't know. We haven't done this in like over a week. Oh, yeah. Because we were able to record two shows in one evening with our friend. Joe, yes. And so that took care of two shows.
And then the last the last show we kind of got tangled up in life so we just reposted an older show so hopefully you enjoyed that um if you hadn't heard it before i know we have new listeners all the time so and again if you're listening you want to reach out to us about uh getting on the show uh have a, a question, a topic, some advice. People actually seek us for advice. I'm not sure why. Oh, no, no. I think they need to give us advice. Oh, I'm all about that. Yeah, yeah. That's definitely info at hotwifepodcast.com. Yeah, you can contact us.
I want to be sure to reach out to you and respond. And who knows where it can go, right? Yeah, yeah. Who knows? You never know what we're going to say. That's the scary part. That's really scary. I know. All right. What did you determine our topic is for tonight? Yeah, it is the impact on swinging on the body image. How does swinging affect an individual's body image or self-perception? Well, you know, my first question for that would be how much of body image keeps people out of swinging? True. That's very true.
Until you actually take a dip in that pool and you see there's all types of shape sizes you know well like we know uh we know a person but he's part of a couple and the couple she has gained a few pounds and doesn't have any interest i can't say she would have interest if she was in good shape. I've never met her. But...
hounds and doesn't have any interest i can't say she would have interest if she was in good shape i'd i've never met her um but um you know it's joe's wife okay joe's wife yeah yeah um you know so at what point does someone you know again let's pretend in a perfect world they had a a body they were happy with okay i'm not gonna say a perfect body just a body they're happy with or comfortable with, would, you had a body they were happy with. Okay, I'm not going to say a perfect body, just a body they're happy with or comfortable with. Okay.
Would, you know, if they were so inclined to adventure into the lifestyle, would just the discomfort of gaining some weight, why do my voices spike at that point? I don't know. Wow. Going to see some changes here. I think I got a pubic hair. Gave that bad boy right off. Fuck it out. If they had put on some pounds, would that automatically say, oh, no, I'm not going to do it? I think it works the other way. You have to be comfortable with yourself sexually and your body image before you take a dip into the swinging pool.
And that doesn't matter whether if you're a larger person, a smaller person, if you're comfortable with your body to some aspect, you're going to be more willing to take that jump into the swinging pool. And another thing, if you're not quite where you are, if you get good responses from people- Yeah, I was just thinking of that. Yep. It's going to make you want to work on your body more because people will be like, you know what? My playmates really overlook all my defects, and I have tons of them, and you're more than willing to- Oh, boy. I know.
them donna's defects volume 10 i mean how many defects can i have i mean uh how much you know by the time i get to 12 okay volume 20 yeah but i mean if you're like not quite comfortable you get into an environment where everybody is is very positive toward you your self-image on yourself might change because of their input and their perspective of you. Well, I think in the lifestyle, it's going to depend on which group or what kind of group, that's a better word, what kind of group you decide to dive into the pool with. Right.
You know, if you go to a club scenario where it tends to be potentially more the pretty people and you don't meet their criteria right you could feel very output yeah because all of a sudden you're not what they're looking for. They're looking for 25 to 30, perfect body, off the cover of a magazine, everything I exemplify. Exactly. I didn't know you were, what did you say the age limit was, 25 to 35? 59. Okay. That's different. I thought you said 39. No, 59. But no, I mean, so that could be very damaging potentially to you. You could feel like, oh, my God, I'm not attractive or whatever.
Right, exactly. But it just might be that group. The group of people that you live. Even if you are in that age group and you are, you know, just. Average, maybe. Don't fit their mold. Right. I don't want to say anything derogatory. Yeah, yeah, because it's, you know. It's not. We've talked about it. We've played with people, all shapes, size, colors.
You know, we told the story, I believe, how we actually, a woman who was 300-plus pounds had reached out to us to have me shoot some photos of her um and we met to talk about the photos um a sweet sweet woman she was delightful i mean she was articulate you know we spent one whole night just talking instead of shooting so then she came over the next night we started the same thing started happening we started talking let's go shoot started to talk, and we said, let's go shoot, let's go shoot. And we did the photo shoot with her.
She was so happy with what I had taken of her, that next thing you know, it was a three-way. Three-way, yeah, that's pretty impressive, yeah. Yeah, I mean, generally, we're not posed by heavyset people, but, you know, we go more by the quality of the person. You know, and everybody has a certain sexual energy, and she had a sexual energy. I mean, she was, well, first of all, she was really fun, really super outgoing and articulate and funny, and she just exuded sexuality. And I think that's the key right there, regardless of your shape, size, or anything else.
If you exude sexuality, people are going to respond in kind. And that's why there's even, you know, the larger people that that's how, that's how they do it. They just exude that sexual energy and people will be attracted to that. Yeah.
You know, that'm attracted to i'm not really attracted i mean at first first glance yeah i might be like oh he's really hot or whatever we always eat with their eyes first exactly but if you start talking to them and all of a sudden they have this sexual energy well that's a win-win but they might be a little bit you know on the heavy side or a little plump or whatever and and they but they start you know they have this like sexual uh charisma and that just overrides everything i've said this before you know sexuality isn't what you look like it's what you exude exactly i agree you know how many like people that are not quite perfect and they were just so much fun i happen to have all of it yeah of course dear you?
Yeah. Of course, dear, you are all that. Wink, wink, nod, nod. You know what I'm saying? I could edit that out. No, no. But, I mean, that's the bottom line.
But here, the thing is, is, like, if you don't have that going in, if you already, like, oh, I don't, you don't have that confidence, and I don't know how you get that, but if you don't have that innate confidence jumping in this pool, it's going super scary you know yeah but and we've talked about the the house party we go to um it's full of every shape and size and ages too and i mean there are some people um both men and women that are on the larger side then there are some that are um on the petite side well yeah slender Wait, that are on the larger side.
Then there are some that are on the... Petite side? Well, yeah. Slender? On the more stereotypical ideal build. But then, you know, there's things in between. And then there's you who just, you know, step above the rest of my...
I just get up on top of my column and just flex you know i want to see that and they throw flowers and burn candles at the bottom of the altar yeah that's what they're that or they're thinking i'm a ghoul and they're trying to burn me at the stage they have pitchforks and torches and torches and they have little crosses don't try to do exorcisms that's not that bad but that bad it's bad but bad. Wow. No, I mean, if you're going to jump into that pool, you have to be comfortable with yourself. Whatever you have, you have to own it. Whatever you are, own that.
Do you want to say own it or just be comfortable? Yeah, be comfortable with it for sure. You know what? First of all, in life in general, you can't expect everyone to like you. Exactly. I mean, Lord knows no one does me. But anyway. Shut up. I like you a little bit. Well, kind of. But when the, you know, if you just relax and just, you know, what people accept you for you. If they can't accept you for you, you shouldn't want anything to do with them. Oh, I agree. Absolutely. Yeah. That's right. And, you know, again, it's what you exude. Yeah, I agree. Absolutely. A hundred percent.
And the thing is, if you put yourself in the right environment with the right people, they can help elevate you to make you want to be a better person. You know, not that you're not perfect already, dear, but, you know, if you're with the right people, they can- I hate overstating you on this, but go ahead. They can, you know, they can, especially if you start playing with them, then you might want to start, you know. Well, tell me this doesn't make you feel good. Okay. Like when we go to the house party, you got guys that kind of line up that want to get with you.
Now we're going to show you when we go to the house party. You got guys that kind of line up that want to get with you. Sometimes, yes. It's a little, not always. That's not the exhausting part. Mentally. Mentally. It's got to be a stimulant. It's like, wow. I want to look good. I want to look good for you. I want to look good for me. You always look good for me. Oh, right.
yeah right watch i'll turn the lights out i'm awesome in the dark room i am the sexiest right is that what you always say yeah it is it's nice it's really nice that you get that kind of positive reinforcement you know that's and you get it from men and women right and that's nice you do not i do oh i mean men don't find you sexy no i'm glad that's perfectly fine with that i am good with you're good with that yeah and and if they're not into me well that's that's fine too i mean that's they don't need to be they don't need to be and that's i'm good with that so if you you really do have to surround yourself with positive people i think that's that's that in life not just playing you surround yourself with people that support you Thank you.
You're going to have a very good experience. There's no way, even when I was at my most fit, would I want to go to a pretty party party, a pretty people party. Yeah, no. I got no respect for those people. Yeah, I'm not that. That was high school. That's high school. That is high school mentality, and I'm just not about that. It's just like in high school, you're not going to date a cheerleader unless you're a super popular one of the football players or whatever. Yeah, right, exactly. I don't want that mindset. I'm 39. I can't deal with that. I'm 39. What? Of course you are, dear.
Of course you're you're well one half my body did you get a part of your body added on to or borrowed or what part is 39 i want to know i want that part thanks for helping my body oh yeah i just dashed you see she's she's just horrible i am i'm terrible but, yeah, you just have to get into a group of people that accept who you are. Because, well, I'll be 65 this year in a few months, actually. Wow. I know. I can, what, Medicare? Is that the next? Yay, so much fun. That is sexy. But I want to surround myself. So what was Jesus like? Oh, he was well hung. Yeah, with some spikes. But anyway.
Oh, I wasn't going there. But yeah, surround yourself with people that are positive toward you, and you'll have a better experience. Yeah, you'll find out that all of a sudden, when you start letting yourself just be comfortable in your own skin that other people will see that and find that attractive right exactly and you don't have to be perfect i mean you've taken some pictures of me when i'm having like a great time with the a playmate or two and i'm thinking these pictures are gonna be so hot i look at them you know i got this little belly thing going on and you know You're welcome.
a playmate or two and I'm thinking these pictures are going to be so hot and look at them and you know I got this little belly thing going on and you know you're always going to be more critical of yourself than somebody else exactly we're always our worst critics you know that right but I had so much fun I didn't care yeah but you know again if you're somebody male or female you know and you exude confidence and just relax and all of to play with somebody, all of a sudden, and you're done, you're going to be like, wow, that was fun and had a great time, and like, wow, she found me, he or she found me attractive, depends who you are.
Or both. That's what I'm saying, depends who you are. It could be either one, you know, whoever. But, you know, and it does, it boosts your self-confidence. Oh, it sure does. You know, like some of these, when we've gone to the parties, when I get done with, you know, whoever, whenever. Exactly. The team. The whole cheerleading team. Yeah. I mean, afterwards, like, yeah, you know, it made me feel good. Oh, yeah, it does. It's like no matter what Donna says, these women found me attractive. There you go.
Well, you you know once you put the mask on you and i'm kidding come on it's all right gotta cry yeah i'm sure you are um but yeah and the thing is too when when you're relaxed and you're you have your own self-confidence and you're playing with somebody who finds you attractive in a party situation, other people say like, Hey, wait, you know, he or she is into this other person. Maybe I should check them out too. So I think that kind of grows because you're like, you know, maybe at first glance you're like, Oh, that person's not really my cup of tea.
But then you see other people playing with that person and you're like, well, wait, wait a minute. It's sort of like that whole thing.
You know, you go to the mall and stand there in the middle of the mall and just look up and watch how many people walk up next to you and like look up yeah what are they doing what are they doing there must be something of interest there yeah and it kind of it kind of is it's contagious and that kind of energy is contagious and if you're having fun and people see you having fun, they're like, oh, wow, that person, you know, I wasn't really sure about them, but man, she or he is tearing it up with that other person. Maybe I should try them. You know what I mean?
So it is, it's all very contagious. Sexuality is very contagious and that kind of energy and that. Positivity is contagious. Oh, yeah. I was just thinking more on the sexual level. The horniness is contagious. Oh, sure. But when that person exudes, again, like we talked about, exudes sexuality or positivity. Right. You know? I know. And you're approachable or stuff like that. It's people get, you know, get turned on by that. Yeah, I agree.
I absolutely, that is's people get you know get turned on by that yeah i agree i absolutely that is a hundred percent but i mean it's just i think if you have never been in a party situation or if you've never done any kind of swinging i think that first step would be really scary oh yeah super scary the first 10 times no seriously the first i mean unless you play with the same people all the time okay but you know you go and like we've gone to dinner recently with a few couples right you know with no aspect of anything happened exactly Exactly.
And the last couple couples, you know, they were all excited to meet us and everything else, and then just don't hear from them. And I'm always, because of past experiences, always convinced it's me. And that's fine. I'm good with that. Hey, I don't expect everyone to like me. Hell, I married you knowing you didn't like me. But there's alcohol involved and roofies and chloroform. That's a good date night. Yeah, well, I had fun. I don't remember it, but I had fun. I told you you had fun. Oh, that's right. Yeah, I told you. It was the best you've ever had. The best. That's why you married me.
That's right. I said, when it's the best, you don't remember it. Exactly.
And your ass would always be sore stop it i do that willingly now but um yeah it's but again can it ruin your body image yeah yeah it can be really damaging and it might not be your fault you might be positive there are assholes out there uh yeah i'm sorry to say that that is true you know you're going to get people it might not be you know if you're talking to another couple it might not be both of them it might just be one of them right that's why we always when we're uh it's kind of vetting i hate to put it that way but we are kind of vetting if we're going out with another couple as they are too yeah yeah that's why we also don't play first date and generally speaking no i mean unless that magic is there right it's not happening first date no no because i want to get to like know the couple i want to know what they're into so i don't do something like you know bring out the huge huge fists thing for you know anal fisting and have everybody no no we don't do that or vice versa you know they bring out all kinds of crazy devices like whoa my husband doesn't do a cock cage I'm sorry I'm a free range cock pastor fed all natural let the cocks run free there you go I'm all about that but yeah I mean yeah I mean I mean anyone can get together and just bang but you kind of want to have that some spark that encourages that level of interest.
Yeah, I agree. You know, that level of interest. And again, I'm not everyone's cup of tea, and I'm good with that. Oh, you're my cup of tea, honey. But you only drink coffee. Oh, yeah, there is that problem.
So, but anyway, yeah, it's interesting out there.'s a tricky dynamic it really is and i can understand why people are very hesitant to take that first step that's why it's really important like i said before to if you can find a small group of people that you're comfortable with start with start with them and be true to yourself in a sense of give a hard look in the mirror and accept the truth. It's like, okay. I'm not 24 anymore. Yeah, I'm not 24. And, you know, approaching, you know, and make sure you read people's profiles when you're trying to meet certain people.
They'll tell you, it's like, oh, we only want to meet people between the ages of 25 and 35. Well, okay, I'm 60. I'm not going to, you know, I'm not going to reach out to them. We had a couple reach out to us. I'm like, we read their profile. I'm like, it says here they're only interested in people up to the age of like 40.
Do they realize I am, you know, at the time, I guess I was like 60 something, you know, I was still in my 60s like they they reached out to us did they read our profile did they see our ages probably not probably not they just saw the pictures you took of me yeah and i don't know what they were assuming i well um no it just it's but i mean again we, we dealt with a couple years ago that, you know, they openly said that we're just going to the parties to be with the pretty people. We don't want to be. Oh yes. I do. And it's just like. That was such a turnoff. I'm sorry.
No, you guys, I mean, they were in their forties at least. I don't want to be rude. I know you're talking. But they were not pretty people. I would not call them pretty people. No, but because they had money. Right. Mostly him. Mostly him. I know exactly who you're talking about. I know you do. You know. Yes. He was arrogant. Yeah, because they had money. He thought, you know, and nice cars and all this stuff. You know, he thought that he qualified to be a,-unquote pretty person. No. It wasn't bad looking. I think it was his attitude. I'm not saying they weren't attractive people. Right.
But they're not 27 years old and in peak shape. Well. Like me. Like you. Yeah, exactly. By peak, I mean I have like a mountain for a bill. Oh, that's that's what peak means right i that's what i'm going with but you know so again if you don't want to be disappointed or hurt or body shamed you know stick in your yard man you know you know who who plays in your yard and who doesn't okay you know you're okay. You know, you don't go thinking, you know, like, you know, I'm 58, tomorrow I'll be 59, but, that I'm going to go run a foot race against a 25-year-old and be competitive. No.
My only chance of winning, he's going to look back, laugh, and fall over, and I can run past him. No, you- As long as he lays on the ground for like an hour. An hour, you're not that bad. In a 50-yard dash. That's true. And you know what? Sometimes you do have to look in the mirror and do the hard look and be like, you know, okay.
I have seen some women wearing outfits that weren't flattering to them if they just would have worn something a little less tight maybe, or sometimes you just got to be brutally honest with yourself because you don't want somebody else looking at you and saying, you shouldn't be wearing that. Yeah. I put on some things and I'm like, you know what? That's actually an article I toyed with for the magazine. Oh, really? It was about being honest with your partner with their lingerie choices. Right. You know? And it's... The article I toyed with for the magazine. Oh, really?
It was about being honest with your partner with their lingerie choices. Right. You know. And it's not like they couldn't wear that. It's just not flattering. Right. Not that, I'm not saying people, like every shape and size shouldn't wear lingerie. Right, exactly. I just think it needs to be, I mean, I understand everyone has a fantasy of something. Mm-hmm. Okay? Let's stick with the Catholic schoolgirl. Oh, dear. Okay? Yeah, so. We can speak from experience with this one. Oh, my God, yes. You know, there are certain body types that it works for. Okay? But there are certain body types.
It looks less than flattering. I don't want to be rude. Yeah, it's not flattering. If you can rock it, you can rock it. And I'll go with that because there are some that can. And there is leeway. I'm not saying you have to have a perfect body to rock it. Right, exactly. But there is a point in which excess doesn't help. True. That's all I'm going to say. help but in this yeah i'm not trying to body shame anyone or whatever i'm just saying sometimes you know it's like a fat guy with a speedo well i think that's so hot well if your partner finds that sexy then go for it i'm just gonna it.
I'm all about that. I'm just going to warn you, not everyone does. Right. There might be some that find that less attractive. You know, what you do at home, if your partner finds that hot, that's great. That's awesome. Just don't, if you wear it out, don't be shocked if it doesn't work for everyone. Right. And I'm trying to tread so lightly here because I put on some outfits I thought were like, oh, this is really good. And I put it on like, oh, you know what? There's too many rolls and what's the sticking on the side here? Look at me. I'm an overstuffed sausage casing.
That was my last Halloween. That was my outfit for last Halloween. I don't want to wear it again this year. What's that? Talk about what you're wearing right now. Oh, right now. Yeah, I am a sexy rock in these sweats, baby. And a hoodie. And a hoodie. That's chilly out there. Those headphones, they're stretched all the way out. All the way out. You got a big head. Ed, move. Ed, move. Yeah, so thank you. Again, we're not trying to discourage anyone. No. We're just trying to keep anybody from getting hurt emotionally or whatever. You know, just think about it.
You know, who are you going to go play with, potentially play with? You know, that there is people for everyone. Oh, yeah, and there are definitely people there. And just play in your own yard don't don't go into a yard where you know it's different yeah different i won't say i can't say class of people that's wrong right a different element of people right okay you know you're going to find generally staying within your age group is generally a good idea. Yeah. There's always those fetishes that go one way or the other. Sure.
Most of the guys I'm with are definitely older women, so that works. Again, you could go to a normal house party and you'll be able to tell by who's going whether that is your genre. I'm thinking about that. Yes, I think you're right. I'm thinking about the house party we frequented, and it ranges from—there was a couple in there that was, what, late 20? Yeah. All the way up to 70? But again, it's a BDSM party for all intents purposes. Oh, so that's the commonality there, you think? Yeah. And not everybody was doing the BDSM thing. No, but, I mean.
You know, and then, like, you know, again, it's not everyone's cup of tea, but, like, a BBC party. Very. Those gentlemen are very accepting of everyone. Oh, yeah. You'd be a skinny young lady? Right. Or a very... Plump. Yeah, voluptuous. Voluptuous, there you go. Woman. You know what? No, I think the term they're using now is Rubenesque. Whatever. Some people don't know who Ruben was, so I'm not using that term. Rubenesque was used back in the Ruben times. That's your art background coming through. Large women. You ask people today, who is Ruben? Who is Ruben?
Well, it's a sandwich I had down the street. No. So the more voluptuous women. Oh, no, curvy. Curvy, whatever. You you know so it's again but that type of party isn't for everybody no you're you're right you know um and you know so again if you're going to go to a party or a club um then you can um you know look at who's going to be there and take a look. Like, okay, they're, you know, okay, we're 42, I'd say. We're not. We're definitely not. I was picking a general number. Can you mute my mic after call? Sure, go ahead.
So, you know, if you're going to, you know, go to a party and you're, you and your husband are whatever, 45, and you're seeing that most people at this party are 30 it's like okay it's gonna be kind of close i'm back okay now i'm turning back i still have a tickle my throat so i may have to drink more alcohol so i'm trying oh thanks that might help i don't know i don't know what happened i don't know let me open it for you so anyway it's tight we're gonna wrap this up we're got killed 30 minutes but yeah just you know take a look open it for you? So anyway. It's tight, baby.
Anyway, we're going to wrap this up. We got killed 30 minutes. But just, you know, take a look at it. Don't be afraid of it. Yeah, I'm not trying to disappoint you or intimidate you. No, we're just trying to keep your foot in reality. You know, and, you know, just have fun. That's the most important thing is having fun. Absolutely. If you go somewhere and something doesn't happen, hey, you know for next time. Yeah. It's like going to a restaurant. Nothing on that menu I really liked. Well, don't go back. Yeah, it's disappointing. I know some people can be very disheartened by it.
And we've been in situations where it just did not work out. And it was just such a downer. That's all right. We didn't have any problems sleeping that night. No, that's true. So just shake yourself off, dust your boots off, and move on to the next one. You'll know next time what you're looking for. And when you find the ones you enjoy and like, go with it. Yeah, tear it up. Yeah, tear it up. All right, man. Info at hotwifepodcast.com and other than that uh stay horny
