Cold isn't Sexy

Transcript

Speaker1: This program contains strong sexual content. No one under the age of 18 is permitted to listen to or download this podcast in any manner. The host, guest, and performers are all over the age of 18. Rebroadcasting the podcast in any manner is strictly prohibited without the written consent of the owners of the Hot Wife podcast. The commentary of this program is the sole opinion of its host or guest and does not reflect that of the opinion of Hot Wife. Wife Podcast owners, agents, or representatives. This podcast is not meant to be taken as professional advice. Spill the tea, baby. Nothing else. Yeah, that's the problem. That's the problem with cold weather. Can I just tell you? That's... So wherever you're listening to us from, thank you. But we're outside the Philadelphia area. We have mentioned that before, but if you're a new listener, and luckily, we appreciate it, we have a bunch of new listeners. Yeah, so we got, I don't know, what did we get, 10, 12 inches of snow? 12 inches, I'd say. But it's not melting. You know all about 12 inches. Not for me, but... I know all about 12 inches. But the thing is, it's like, it's not melting. That's why you call me Mr. Flurries. Mr. Flurries. Mr. Coating. Just a coating. Not much, just enough. Just less than an inch. Just enough to be annoying. So yeah. So yeah. It's just not melting. It's just not going away. We got, on Sunday, we got this 10, 12 inches of snow. And then it's been, it's not gotten any higher than 24 degrees since then. And in nights, we get down to single digits. So this shit ain't going anywhere. No, it's not. What the hell was that maneuvering? I had that other stand in front of me. Why don't you move it while we're sitting here talking? So you don't have to peer around another Angelina's microphone. Okay, that's better. Now I can see you. There's a real treat. But yeah, so real quick. First, I want to touch base again. Appreciate everyone who listens to the podcast. And according to what platform you're on, you may hear commercials inside the podcast. If you go to hotwifepodcast.com, you'll see there is a button in there that you can subscribe to our... What would you call it? It's a term. It's like a... Not a subscription. No, it's a subscription, a monthly for $4.99 that the... The commercials are... It's like our fan thing or... I can't say the name of it right now. I'm too fucked. and cold. But yeah, so you can listen to our shows and not have commercials if you want. And that throws us a couple of nickels. Yeah, what is it? Do they have a certain name for it? It's not like one of those. Sorry. I had my hands under my armpits keeping my fingers warm. In my pockets, I forgot to bring my gloves. I'm like, oh, I sort of brought gloves. And I can see my breath. Can you? Yeah, I just saw it a little bit ago. It's cold in here, but I think we decided the topic today would be how weather affects your sex drive. One way or the other. And cold weather? Oh, it's a diminished. It's like I don't want to touch myself. My hands are so cold. I'll touch you. Are your hands cold? Yeah. No, I don't want you touching me either. You have warm hands. That's one thing. But cold hands? Ah, no, thank you. You've got to have stipulations on everything. Everything. I know. Everything. But yeah, it's a... Supporters Club. Supporters Club. I was thinking it was something else, but never mind. No, it's Supporters Club. So yeah, if you want to listen to the show without commercials, it's like I said, click there. There'll be a link to follow. It's $4.99 a month and would appreciate that. But the other thing is I have brought back the magazine. Oh, I know. I've seen you working on it. Yeah, whatchamacallit, 50shadesofpleasure.com. Whatchamacallit. I'm frozen, okay. So I'm still going to do the blog site to some degree. Okay, so it's like two things. But I actually brought back, I found a new software that lets me put whatever content I want in it. More explicit content? A little more explicit, yeah. There's some boobies and penises in this one. So it's a little more provocative. How's that for a word? Oh, man. So check out 50shadesofpleasure.com. It's free. Just, you know. Reach out and enjoy. So anyway, so yeah, how cold affects. It's not good. It's not good. Not even a little bit. It's pretty miserable. Sit there and go, oh, I want to rub nasty. Is it generate heat with him? Nothing? No, I want to get naked. No. It would be nice, but. I mean, again, for a woman, it's flattering. Everything tightens up and perks up. For a man, things go into hiding. Yeah, it's not so good. for a man. No, it's not flattering at all for a man. No. But you know what? Too much heat is not good either. Nothing, you know, you don't want to get close to somebody where it's sticky, hot, and sweaty. I don't mind sweaty, but when you're all sticky and gross, it's, you know, you start, you know. Well, which one would you prefer? You had to pick one. I think I'd rather be too warm than too cold. Yeah, definitely. Because I can, you can do a prerogative things to cool off, you know, with ice cubes and this and that. That'll be kind of fun. Or turn the air conditioning on. Or a fan on. Well, you can turn heat on, but if you don't have any. Sure. You know, so let's just say you don't have any air conditioning. Which would you rather be? Too hot or too cold? Well, as erotic as a blizzard is, you lose electricity and you're like, oh my God, I'm so turned on. I have no power, no heat. I want to have sex. Yeah. It's bad when your dick shrivels up from the cold that you sit there and can't even jerk off. Oh my God. I don't even want to touch myself. I do not want to touch myself in any form. Like even like touching my face. Oh, it's cold. I don't want to do that. Oh, suck it up. I know. But you know, it's very kind of erotic. And when we were shooting some content in the basement with the wood stove going, that was pretty erotic because we could be playing in front of the wood stove. And then if you go and look through the sliding glass doors, you can see it snowing outside sometimes. I see the snow laying on the ground and that was pretty hot. The part that made that erotic was what? The fire. The heat. Not the cold. Heat is always the force here. I mean, as a man, I sit there and like, once you lick my dick and I act like the flagpole thing in Christmas stories, like, oh, your tongue stuck to my dick. You don't want that. Oh, boy. Okay, well, we'll just stay here for a while. Yeah, but you don't want... When you're ejaculate, it comes out like soft serve ice cream. Ow! Comes out like ice cubes. That's just... You broke one of my teeth with your cum load. Oh, my God, that's terrible. Yeah. Yeah, you don't want to take your clothes off when it's cold. You really don't. It's like, you know, those old union suits that have the trapdoor where the crotch was? You have sex with one of those on. That's it. The genitals touch nothing else. Everything else is clothed and covered. Well, that is a fetish. You have sex with clothes on. That is a fetish. I agree. This might not be like, you know, the Catholic high school girl skirt. You know, you said, yeah, the union suit. Let's do that. Let's try that. You know what I mean? I don't know how many people remember what a union suit is. Look it up. Look it up. It's usually insulated underwear. Yeah, it's long johns with a trapdoor for you to go to the bathroom. Right. And it's usually all one piece. It's not two pieces. Yep. That was a thing. But, you know, it's like, I don't want anything else of ours to touch. You could do that. Then, you know, Vesties could touch, you know, the naughty bits, but everything else is covered. Yeah, but you got to do it quickly, because like I said, they get cold. Oh, man, I'm telling you. You know, you get the woman all riled up, you take a few minutes, they'll say, go put a condom on, and all of a sudden you get back to her snatch is all frozen. Like, son of a bitch, get the salt. Oh, that's even worse. Well, now, since you bought me that heated vest, you know, it has like little, it has a little battery pack you stick it in the pocket, plug it in and it has two switches. That warms you up pretty good. That wouldn't be bad. Two switches or one switch? It's two areas. It's two switches. Oh, look at you. Yeah, you can just like. Pretty good to you, aren't I? I know, pretty good. Wow, did I get myself a vest? You can. No, I said, did I? No, you did not. Oh, okay. That's because I'm always cold, especially now. At that vest, I have worn that vest more often than not. I'm starting to think it's lingerie. Yeah. Hey, baby. I look like Ultraman. Yeah, it does look like that. There's two lights. And I know it has, I think it has a low and a high or a low, medium high. I just stick it on high. I don't care. It has low, medium, and well done. Well done. I'll take the well done. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. But yeah, the cold is like, yeah, I just want to, I don't need another cold body up against me under the covers. Under the covers. I want something warm. And even then, if you go under the covers, both of you, there's going to be a little time period there. You've got to, Wait till the heat starts to generate. And don't lift the covers. Don't lift the covers. It's gonna look like two people fucking in a turtle shell. Have one of your feet popped up for a cover. Ah, fuck, get that in, get that in. It's cold. Oh, you ruined the mood now. Yeah, now I'm cold feet and cold hands. My big toe went outside the covers. Fuck. Yeah, it's not good. Not good at all. Talk dirty to me. Miami Beach. Dallas, Texas. Arizona. Jamaica. Yeah, yeah. I can't wait for spring. It's one of those years. Usually I don't mind it, but today it's like, uh. I'm waiting for summer. We didn't get summer last year. No, I'm still very upset about that. You know, I mean, we got in the pool maybe 10 times. Yeah, it just seemed like it rained and it was cold and rained and it was cold. And then we had July, it was kind of sunny and kind of warm. Not like last year or the year before, I should say. Yeah. So even our frolicking in the pool was limited. Just a complete wash. Pretty much. I think we had one night swim. So I guess now is the time when people start planning their summer vacations or their little erotic getaways to warm locations. It is. Just the thought of going someplace warm is highly erotic to me. Yeah, I'm kind of erotic. Yeah, I'm kind of like, yeah, just picture a nice warm place you can hang out without having 7,000 layers of clothes on. Yeah. You know? You don't have to be under. you know, you know, four quilts. Now licking pussy's a whole new thing. I put my tongue out and it shivers. Yeah, really. It doesn't work for me now. You might have to watch out. Your teeth start to chatter. It could be dangerous if I'm blowing you and I... You know, it wouldn't be good. It would not be good at all. Let's get to the blowing part. We'll find out. Yeah. I'm going to have to warm my hands up. Yes, you would. Yes. That's what I said. No cupping of the balls. No, not at this stage of the game. I'm like, wow, man, they're really getting cold. As cold as it is, and as big as my balls are, I don't think I have balls right now. I think they're up in my body cavity going, fuck you. If they're smart, that's where they be. Even my asshole's puckered. Yeah, I hear you. It's like, I don't want to, I don't want to like, you know, flash or do anything like that. If I had a piece of coal, I should have put it in my ass and step outside. I'd have a diamond in seconds. Yeah, it's terrible. Yeah, well, hopefully everybody else has heat. You know who's listening? Stay warm. Oh, absolutely. Because this is not comfortable. This is not what you want. This is not erotic. No. Sorry. If you're listening to this podcast thinking, oh, how sexy is this going to be? It's not. This is anti-sexy. I'm trying to swallow my coffee. My coffee was hot when I brought it in. It is cold now. It skipped right over the lukewarm part. What's that Disney movie your friend was selling? Oh, Frozen. Frozen. Okay. So that song, Let It Go, the song was written because the husband said, Hey, honey, what a mess around? She would let it go. No, I don't want to mess around. Fuck you. Too freaking cold. Yeah, let the idea go, motherfucker. Too cold. I don't think so. Did you see the name of this fucking movie? Frozen. Says it all. Yep. My snatch is frozen. Yeah. Ear balls are frozen. Fucking shooting icicles at my dick. Yeah, that wouldn't be good at all. In any way, shape. If you were able to give a woman, a facial, she'd have icicles hanging from her, cumsicles hanging from her face. I think she was lucky. It'd be like shards of frozen ice, you know, being flung at her face. Impales her. Impales her, yeah. Not good. She was shot with a gun. What the heck's going on there? Yeah, so, yeah, I'm waiting for warmer weather. I think that'll be so, I will embrace it so much. I will just love that. Yeah. So, also, the last two, We have no heat. And we got to snow. We generally record on Sunday nights, but we had that 10, 12 inches of snow and couldn't actually get to the studio, even though it's right across our yard. Yeah. So we just rebroadcast that. And then last night, again, just life got in the way, so we rebroadcast another one. So we're not going to do that right now. This is not necessarily going to be a long show. We're freezing. And I have double layers. I have. Oh, I've got three shirts on, yeah. Oh, okay. I didn't do that bad. I have two shirts on. Oh, I have two. I took my one off. Okay. I have two pairs of pants on. I have leggings and another pair on top, like yoga pants on top. Yeah. Sexy. Wow. I know. I'm kind of aroused. It is kind of. Ooh, she has. Wait till I take one pair off. I only have one pair of pants on. Oh, my God. Oh, dearie dream. Are you fantasizing me with this? You're a sex demon. You are. Oh, you can just picture me in one pair of pants instead of the two. Wow. Look, should I flash you what I'm wearing underneath my leggings? Look at that, another pair of leggings. Oh, look at that. And big, fluffy, fuzzy socks. You are just a... I'm just a minx. I'm just a... A temptress. A temptress. I can almost feel my testicles now. Almost. I won't feel them with my hand because my hands are too cold. Yeah. I should have worn a turtleneck, I'm telling you. That's what my dick is. Turtleneck. That's all it is. There's no head. There's a turtleneck. He went back into its shell. Fucking right. Backs up any further, it's coming out my ass. That's true. Oh my God. Yeah. So that's our story. If you didn't get the hint, the show is about how cold and cold is not sexy. It can ruin a sex. Yep. That is for sure. That is for sure. Sex drive. Sex drive. It's like, yeah. It's not good. But there are people who might enjoy it. I don't know. The fantasy is always enjoyable. I remember posing nude for you in the snow a while, but we were just posing nude. Yeah, that wasn't. I wasn't really. No. I didn't have sex with anybody in the snow. One time, didn't you try masturbating one time like you made a dildo out of snow? It did not work out well. No, if I remember, there was a loud scream. It did not work out well at all. I thought, wouldn't this be? I was a little bit more daring back then. Now I'm no better. How do you say it? Stupid? Well, I guess. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Can I just tell you? Famous last words to so many people. Yeah. It sounded like that should have worked. No, it did not work at all. I thought maybe it'd be like erotic or whatever. Because when we did the whole, I'm going to say ice cubes, it was cool pop. with Jabberjaw. Yeah, but that was like fucking 98 degrees. Yes, you had the total difference there because it was hot. Now, it might be erotic if you were going to masturbate and you had a heated dildo, you know, a vibrator that was heated, you know. That would be interesting. That might be a little more enjoyable because like, yeah, I want to put this inside me to get my core temperature up. That's one thing. But yeah, when you're cold already, then you stick a fucking ice cube. Oh, it was pretty miserable. I don't see it being fun, but what do I know? It sounded, you know, I thought, oh, this might be kind of erotic. Well, it wasn't. It wasn't. Like I said, so many people do stupid stunts with the idea like, this is going to be cool. Well, I didn't hurt myself. Watch the internet. You'll see tons of it. Yeah, I'm not jumping off a roof. Yeah, I'm going to ride my bike down my roof and jump off the roof of my bike. Into the pool. Into the pool. Even though the pool is 30 feet away. And only three feet deep. It was nothing like that. I just remembered I didn't tighten the lug nuts on my front wheel. So anyway, all right. No, I'm not that stupid. If you want to see who, what, where, and what you're doing. Hotwifedonnalyn.com. I am posting, posting. I'm even posting stuff with Angelina. So I put up one of those mass mailings. You can, like your fans and the one guy said, oh my gosh, she's so hot. Hotwifedonnalyn.com. That's me. And again, check out 50 Shades of Pleasure. Oh yes, that's you. That's you. Go to hotwifepodcast.com and join our supporters club. You know, five bucks a month. Here are shows for no commercials. If you don't care, that's fine, too. You know, you want to listen to commercials, that's fine, too. We make one nickel there. If we're lucky. If we're lucky, that's fine. And Supporters Club will make two. Well, maybe we'll seal up some money and get some heat. Nah. Oh, heesh me. In four months, we're going to have warm weather. In four months. Yeah, okay. All right. So I want to thank everyone. Stay horny. Oh, stay warm, everybody. That'll help. Yeah. Okay. Kick the door. Turn it up.