Before You Swing: The Questions That Matter Most

Transcript

Speaker1: This program contains strong sexual content. No one under the age of 18 is permitted to listen to or download this podcast in any manner. The host, guest, and performers are all over the age of 18. Rebroadcasting the podcast in any manner is strictly prohibited without the written consent of the owners of the Hot Wife podcast. The commentary of this program is the sole opinion of its host or guest and does not reflect that of the opinion of Hot Wife. podcast owners, agents, or representatives. This podcast is not meant to be taken as professional advice. Spill the tea, baby, say, Hello, everybody. This is Donna Lynn, and welcome to My Hot White Podcast. My husband's looking at me. You're smiling already. He knows something I don't. Okay. Whatever. I'm sure you know a lot of things I don't, but that's a different story. I'm talking. I'm looking at Vince, and he's got this—he's, like, grinning at me. So I started laughing. So he started laughing. So I started laughing more. Okay, we're back in that loop. We're back in that loop again. Control-Alt-Delete. Okay. Just like from the last show. I'm sorry, it just kind of happens. Whatever, sorry. But anyway, welcome to my show. And actually, it's more Vince's show, but we don't tell him anything. It's actually the Hot Husband podcast. Yeah. Okay. I do love that. When you came up with that song, I'm still tickled by that. You've got to find that. That was so funny. That's somewhere. Oh, that was so good. That was just fun You made me laugh That's good I do that when I drop my pants too Well I never said that to your face Yes you did No I did not You lying sack of shit I would never I drop my pants You start laughing You go What's that? I ordered more A candle Oh that's so weird That is cute If we water it Will it grow? You need to get in the sun more. Something like, no, I'm not going there. I know. That's my problem. One of my biggest bitches. You bitch about so many things, though. Yeah. One of them's sitting right here. I know. I know. Here we go again with the banter. Okay. Last show, we did questions for a hot wife through AI. So I actually, again, because you and I have been in the lifestyle and everything else, And we might take things for granted that to us are abundantly queer and whatever. So I went back into AI, ventured back in. Sure. And I said, give me 20 questions for a couple thinking about swinging. Ooh. Okay. Nice. So I'm going to read these off. Okay. And I want your opinion on these questions if they're valid for somebody who is thinking about getting into swinging. Okay, I'll do my best. Well, we'll both. I mean, I have not read these yet. I have not read these yet. Okay, cool. Okay, so the first one, what fantasy or moment has made you think, maybe we should try this? It's just far enough away from my reading glasses that half the sentence was clear and the other half went into oblivion. Yeah, actually, talking about your fantasies is one little, One way to start opening the door to swinging, especially if your fantasies either, A, involve someone other than your partner or someone in addition to your partner, like a threesome or something like that. And I think exploring your fantasies, even if it doesn't include your partner, is still a healthy way to experience that kind of sexual energy and then those little sexual adventures. Well, my opinion. Okay. is first off, swinging is not meant to replace your relationship. Correct. If you have issues in your relationship. Yes, we've said that before. You need to stay away from swinging. Yes. If you don't have a strong relationship, an honest relationship. Sure. And true love, stay away from it. Yeah, it's going to add a lot more complications. If one of you is jealous. Oh, yeah. Or both of you are jealous. Oh, forget it. All right, so... Okay, who brought it up first, and how did the other react? That's an important factor. Oh, yeah. We've talked about before my good friend. He's all about it. He wants to see his wife just defiled in every way possible, and I would love to see his wife defiled. But she has zero interest. Right. And it's not a thing that he wants to go out and play with other women. He wants her to play. So he wants to be, in essence. Oh, he wouldn't be objectionable. Oh, he wouldn't object to it, of course. But, I mean, he would be fine if all the attention was on her and she was doing the playing. He'd be really super happy just to be an observer. In all fairness, it's kind of where we are. Exactly. I have more pleasure seeing you being pleased, And you don't hate it? I know, I don't hate it at all. No, so, but, and then again, when we get together afterwards, it adds to ours. After I de-louse. Yeah, after you de-louse five times. We always have to say that. Yeah, you know, so. So it depends on where it's coming from. Some people might not want their wife to de-louse. Some people want to de-louse their wives on their own. That's up to them. That's up to them. Sure. That's up to them. It's something that, again, if you're, If you're going to make a move into the swinging lifestyle, it has to be something both of you are 100% in tune with. There can't be jealousy. There can't be envy. There can't be distrust, which is jealousy or whatever. Sometimes I hear guys like, oh yeah, I want to get into the lifestyle because I want to fuck a lot of women. But they're not even thinking about their partner. And then if she decides she wants other men, he gets all bent out of shape. shape, because there's the jealousy part. So you have to think about where is that desire coming from? Is it one of bringing pleasure to your partner, or is it a selfish one of bringing simply pleasure to yourself? How about the people who get into it? Like, well, I don't really want my wife to play, or my husband to play, but I want to play. My first marriage, she wanted to play, but she didn't want me to play. Exactly. It can't be like that. What's good for the goose is good for the ganders. Is this more about curiosity? Curiosity, excitement, or turning shared fantasy into reality. Wow. Wow. That's pretty broad. That is pretty broad. Because curiosity is one thing. Okay. There you go. Sorry. And then excitement is another thing. Right. Yeah, it is. You know, excitement can be measured in, like, I get excited watching you give and receive pleasure. You get excited when I get undressed in front of you. Is that a bad thing? I'm putting his sweatpants back on to get ready for bed. In the meantime, I get to see you kind of naked. You're like, oh yeah, showtime. Would you prefer I sit there, hurry up, get those pants on, cover that fucking ass up? Well, and as cold as it is, I think that would make more sense. That's right now, but come a couple months from now. Oh, a couple months from now. If I didn't want to look at your body, wouldn't you be upset? I don't want to look at my body. I don't want to look at mine either, but that's a different story. At 65, it's like, Hey, what happened to you? You look phenomenal. Anyway. Oh my God, you're so full of shit. Keep doing the drugs. Yeah, don't put those glasses on, whatever you do. I look better if I'm a little bit foggy. I think someone was eating pasta on my glasses. I can't see a goddamn thing. I'm lucky to read this thing. Let's keep it that way. What part of the idea turns you on the most? The attention, the freedom, or seeing your partner desired? Oh, that's a good question. Oh, that is a good question. Wow. Yeah, I guess for a couple, that would be something that, you know, you really should explore. I mean, the freedom is definitely something that's very... Well, it depends on your rules. Yeah. As a couple, you need to have boundaries and rules. Yeah, you need to have some kind of boundaries. You know, it can't be like a freaking free-for-all. I mean, maybe some people do a free-for-all. I don't know. I think once you've been in it for a while, you can move more towards a free-for-all. I mean, like you and I can, in all fairness, is a free-for-all if we wanted to. We don't. Oh, yeah. I think we could. Yeah, I think we could. It's like, yeah. You came home. No, you did. No. If you came home and said, hey, man, I went to the market and there's this cute guy and I told him let's go out in the parking lot and fuck. Okay, okay. Yeah, as long as you don't get busted or whatever. Let's not get into all the technicalities. But what I'm saying is. The reality of it. Yeah, what I'm saying is. But. Yeah, you'd be like, yeah, cool. Yeah. You're safe. You didn't get hurt. Yeah. That's all that matters. But, you know, not everyone's going to have that freedom. No, no. I mean, that's not something I think most people get initially. Whereas... Well, once you get... If you're in a trusting relationship, the liberty of knowing that you can fuck anybody you want at any time, as long as you don't... As long as you do it within the confines of your rules, whatever they may be. Don't neglect your job, but whatever. Well, don't neglect your partner. Don't neglect your partner. But you and I have that understanding. If one of your girlfriends from the parties calls you and say, hey, Vince, want to get together? And my number is. Yes, he will definitely put his number out there for sure. Yeah. And that's perfectly fine. That's absolutely fine. Well, the one thing in this is for senior partners, What's that? Oh, yeah, that's hot. Like, there's two instances in particular that jump. There's actually three. Okay, three. I'll go with the two. Okay. There was one, we were outside of it. We just left a restaurant with my aunt. And these guys walked up to me. And they came to me and they said, is she your wife? And I said, yes. They go, would you mind? And they're like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Here's a coupon for a free meal next time. No, they go, is she your wife? I said, yes. They go, would you be upset if we compliment her? I said, no, please do. And they told you, it's like, you have the most incredible legs. And I was like, yeah, that spin class is working for me. Yeah. But did you look at the rest of the package? The rest of the package. Those legs have to be strong to support the rest of the shit. Support that tonnage. Jesus Christ. and wide load coming. No. And then the other one was... Remember we were at that little discount store and there was this... That's what I'm going next. Oh, that's what you're going next. Oh, that is too funny. Okay, go ahead. I was in one aisle over and you were in little shorts. I was not wearing little shorts. He was. Oh. He was wearing little... I just remember somebody's ass hanging through the shorts. Daisy Dukes. He was wearing Daisy Dukes. He told you that you were a pretty little thing. Yeah, yeah. a little thing. I was like, oh, thank you. I mean. But then there was another time. We went to a bar to see a friend of ours, mostly yours, play. Oh, okay. In the band. The band, yes. And a guy asked you to dance. And you were out there dancing with him for a while. I thought I was dancing with a girl. No, it was a guy. It was a guy? Yeah. We went to a couple of those things. Yeah, I'm fine with that. But anyway, no. And being comfortable with that. that, like, she's still going home with me. Yeah, I'm not, you know. Even if we didn't invite him home, it would just be, you know, a one-night stand type of, have some fun, and then, you know. Yeah, whatever. It didn't go there, but. No, it didn't go there, but it could have. How do you think you'll feel the first time someone openly flirts with your partner? Well, we just kind of covered that. Yeah, we did. I mean, for us, we're very comfortable with, in fact, I find it flattering. I was never the, when we were at that, and I looked over and you were having fun with another lady on the other bed. I was never a more proud peacock wife than I was that night. Well, okay. Let's take it away from us. I'm looking at this question. For a couple getting into that, that might be kind of a little scary. All these things might be a little scary. Well, here's the trick, and tell me if I'm wrong, and you will. Obviously, I'm always honest. You have to be able to step back. Okay, so we have a relationship, a good, semi-good. Yeah, moderately, almost good. Could be good. Could be. With a lot of drugs and alcohol, be great. That's what you needed to, just to keep it. No, you have to be able to step back from your relationship and be comfortable that your partner and you are secure. That's probably the most important thing. So step out of that. Sit back as an observer. Right. And realize that your partner, okay, like in my case. Right. You know, my beautiful wife. Right. Is a beautiful woman. Right. Very sexually desirable to not just me, but to other people. And that if they want to tell her that, or him, whoever. Right. Let them enjoy that moment. Yeah. You know, it doesn't mean anything. They're not leaving you. It's like, oh, my God. He told me I'm sexy. I'm leaving you. Bye. Oh, I know. I can't tell you how many people are like that that are not in the lifestyle. I'm like, oh, well, aren't you afraid he's going to fall in love with somebody else? He could fall in love. Have him. Well, after I say, yeah, have him. He's yours. Tag. He's yours. You touched him last. Woo, I'm free. Thank you. I mean, but you can fall in love with anybody, not just in the lifestyle. Again, sex is not love. Love is not sex. Get over it. But sex can be exciting. Sex can be very exciting. It doesn't mean that's not love. That is not love. I love having sex, though. Oh, well, there you go. That's very true. That's true. Just because you get your dick wet doesn't mean that you're going to be living happily ever after. No. Just because I get my pussy eaten. Spend more time outside the bedroom. We have said that a billion times. I'll say it a billion more. That's true. If our relationship sucked, swinging isn't going to make it better. You just said that on the last show. It's not going to make it any better. Are you more excited about watching, participating, or build up and anticipation? That's a lot of A, B, and C, and D subsets. That question there. Well, again, for me, I'm more excited about the, let me go look at this. Look at it again. Yeah, I'm sure you're like into the watch. And I actually, I enjoy like the participation, the anticipation part. Right. Like watching you build, like when you're, when you're sexting. Yeah, when I'm sexting. And stuff like that. And I'm like, oh, look. You do, you kind of get a little. Giddy. Yeah, that's a great word for it. Giddy, a little giddy. That's like, yeah, it's. It's ticklish. I mean, come on, we all like being complimented. Sure. And flirted with. Oh, sure. Sure, it's fun. Anybody says they don't, they're full of shit. Maybe they just don't know what flirting is. Or have never done it right. Maybe. Maybe. What is the biggest fear hiding behind the excitement? I guess for a new couple, it would be the underlying fear that the other person would leave you for somebody else. That's always, whenever I talk. Or they're going to misinterpret what you're doing. That's true, too. That's true, too. They might think, I'm leaving you or something. You can see me get excited about playing with somebody and misinterpret it, like, oh, my God, I'm not doing it for them. It's not that. It's, hey, you know what? It's something different. I can make you a steak dinner. Right. And you go, wow, this is really good. But we go out to some big steakhouse, you go, oh, my fucking God, this is awesome. It's like, should I get jealous of the cook there? Motherfucker, you made my fucking wife over happy. We can't have that. Yeah. Yeah, it is like that. It is. It's the newness and the strangeness of that experience is, it might be very exciting, you know, and you can't. Strange is exciting. Strange is exciting. And that kind of gets into this next question. Have you talked about your absolute hell yes experience? and your hard nose. Oh, that's a really good thing to talk about as a couple, you know. You have boundaries. Yeah, you have to have boundaries, and you have to know what the boundaries are. You have to really talk about them. You just can't be, well, I assumed. You really have to discuss them, like, what are your tolerances? I mean, there are some women in the lifestyle that do, They save the anal for their husband, or there's something they save just for them that keeps it special. There's even porn stars that have done that. Like kissing. Kissing. Maybe kissing is off the table. We've talked about this before. I find kissing far more personal. Oh, yes. It's far more intimate. I agree. And intimate than fucking. Sure. Sure. I agree. Because you can convey a lot more emotion With tongue play. Oh, sure. Let me see your pussy. I'll show you. Look at you. Stop that. You're flirting with me. Am I going to get some? I think so. Stop that. Okay, and that's the end of the show. So anyway, thank you all for listening. We're going to go to some fun here. We didn't get through all 20 questions, but too fucking bad. All right. How will you handle it if one of you gets more attention than the other? Tell me, how have you handled that when I've gotten more attention? Oh, I just know that you're the shining star and I just bask in your glow. Guys line up for you. I have to put up that now serving number thing at the parties. That's not even true. That's not true. Actually, I think I get more than you do. I think you are the man whore at the parties. I am. I think they pay me to not come to the house parties anymore. Is that why we haven't been to one in a while? That and they hold them too late at night. Oh, yeah. Too fucking old. Oh. The paratransit bus doesn't travel after 8 o'clock at night. Yeah. Okay. We can't do that. Yeah. What would make the first experience feel safe, sexy, and positive of you? That's a good question. I think soft swap. Soft swap is probably a really good one. Yeah. I think it's important for people getting into swinging to know more definitions. Oh, yeah. Like a glossary. Soft swap where you play with your partner in front of another couple. Right, right. Oh, that's fine. I thought that was same room sex. What is same room? I'm sorry. Soft swap's where it's oral. It's all oral. No penetration. So definitely try that first. Don't jump in the deep end of the pool quick. It could be disaster. It could be if somebody might be traumatized by it. Somebody might be having a lot of fun. The other person might be traumatized. That could just ruin it for everybody. There was a couple we played with that obviously she was taking one for the team. Oh my God, never do that. And he was all gung-ho and everything else, but here he was surprised. when I kind of rocked her world. Yeah, that's true. She doesn't act like that for me. Oh, well. And that has nothing to do with me. I'm just saying that's what this experience. Yeah, right. Okay, what would make the first experience feel safe, sexy, and positive? Okay, I did that one. I didn't cross that off. Okay. Okay. Are you prepared for the emotional rush that can come after the first time? Oh, that's... Oh, man. I remember, like, after playing, the next day, you're, like, walking on clouds. You're just like, wow, that was such a good time. And then, you know, we talk about it or, you know, on the way home, we're talking about it. We fucked about it. We've talked about that on the show before. Yeah, I mean. That how, like, after we play with other people. You get this rush of energy. Well, our sex life increases. Increases, for sure. Oh, absolutely. It absolutely increases. Yeah. I mean, people might, want to get jealous. What you don't realize is after the fact, when it's just the two of you, you can talk about it, you can embrace your partner's pleasure they received, hopefully, and they're taking it out on you. They're thanking you. Right, right. And in some ways, I'd like to think that they're actually getting more pleasure from you now than they have in the past. Yeah, there's a little It adds a little spice to the relationship. I mean, not the relationship was bad at all, but it just adds a little extra zing to it. Next question is this. How will you reconnect as a couple after the experience? Well, that's it. Fuck like bunnies. It does. I mean, you sit there and look at your mate. A whole different way. In a more erotic way. Hopefully you do. Hopefully you're not like you fucking cheating fuck. Unless you're into that. But no, that could cause problems. If you're not secure with yourself and your relationship. Well, sometimes you use little pet names. Oh, you little cum slut. Oh, my little fucking dirty fucking anal fucking whore. Aw, jeez. You say the sweetest things. You went on Etsy to make me a mug with just those words on it. coffee mug to my little anal fucking slut whore bitch. My little gonorrhea ridden fucking slut. Sperm burping bitch. Oh, I get a tear to my eye. I just love you so much, honey. Fuck the whole team. What boundaries would you make you, what boundaries would make you feel confident enough to fully relax into the moment? I guess if you were a newcomer to it, keeping... Oh, geez. What boundaries would make you feel confident? Like always having your partner in the room so you can... Well, it's something you should do in the early stages. You should talk about it. Or do it together. Yeah, do it together. Talk about it. Make sure everybody's on the same page so nobody has any misunderstandings of what these boundaries are. Some people, I've heard about it. We didn't do this. But there's some people like when you're with this other person, You need to look at me the whole time. I can't do that. I'm just saying we did. Some people have some weird rules. But yeah, whatever your rules are that you're comfortable with, that's what you have to do. Establish your rules and both you need to adhere to them. Yes. The only one I didn't understand was the whole baseball one. You couldn't go past what the other one was doing. I didn't understand that one. It was like... I still don't. I should type that in the AI. Please explain this to me. But it would go... Nope, can't do it. Can't do it. Nope, can't compute. Yeah, so it didn't make any sense to me. I don't even want to explain it. It just didn't make any sense. Okay. Are you both doing this for the same reason or different ones? Ah, see, that's really important, too. Yeah. Because, you know, we have talked to other people, and definitely in this case that I remember, it was the male going, oh, man, I just want to be with other women. I think it's going to be so hard. I don't just want to do it. We've incurred. We've gone through that more than we probably have Like the couple we partnered with in the studio? Yes, yes. She was about doing the studio. He was about getting laid. He was about getting laid. Yes, I agree. Then when she found out how good my tongue was, a year later, she was like, what the fuck have I been missing? Well, yeah, whatever. She had a nice little pussy, by the way. Yeah, she, uh-huh. That's good. That's nice. She was a nice, she was a nice lady, nice person. Yeah, no, I, yeah, my, um, Yeah, there was that other couple. Remember, we invited them here, and we had them even on the show. We couldn't use the show because he was just, like, into, like, just, I just want to be with other women. I just want to be with other women. I don't remember who you're talking about. Oh. No, we'll talk about it later. Yeah, well, we met them at the bar. We had drinks. Just an hour down. Right around the corner. Oh, I'll explain to you later. Yeah, tell me later. Yeah, because the things he was talking about, it was almost like he was, like, abducting women. You're like, no, we can't. No, this is not I don't think he understood what swinging was about. It was all about him. You see a few people like that, though. Yeah. I don't care whether it's a male or the female. I'm dying to know who it is now. But anyway. Okay, what does jealousy look like for each of you? Let me bring this up where I can read it. That might help. Yeah, why don't you get this within focal length? Focal length? What does jealousy look like for each of you? And how do you normally work through it? Oh, well, geez. I'm not a jealous person. No, I'm a person who doesn't give a fuck. So if you want to be with me, great. If you don't want to be with me, great. I don't care. All right, that makes it easy. That makes it real easy. I don't get jealous. I mean, I know you've more than proven your love to me. I know. And I value that. I know. And you have more than proven your love for me. So I know that you're... Yeah, so there was never a jealousy thing. No. I was uncomfortable in the beginning. I do... You know that. I was like, this is just weird. Well, I get that. The weirdness of how it's not the societal norm. Yes. Okay, that's a... That's a societal norm. Look at you. And I'm drinking bourbon. Wow. Not good bourbon, but I'm drinking bourbon. Yeah, no, it's... It's not something you can tell your mom when you go home. Oh, mom, we just... became swingers. Oh, Mom, the other night, this woman was sucking my cock, and I'm looking at Donna, and I'm telling her about, what? Yeah, I know. It's not something you can really... No, it's a weird adjustment. You can't share with the general public. You can't share with your family members. You can't share with them. No, I think because of the way that society generally looks at relationships, that it is awkward at first. Mm-hmm. It makes sense to me. It's still got to be a little weirdness. Like, the first time, okay, especially with you, you know, I definitely married way above my pay grade. God, no you didn't. Yeah, I did. But anyway, I sit there and like, this woman could have pretty much anybody she wants, but yet she's still going home with me. And it's like, so, Like, during the first few times, I had those weird stomach feelings. Like, oh my God, am I going to lose her or whatever. But then when you go home, you're like, oh my God, I was so erotic. And you're like, you know, slamming down on top of my cock. It was like, all right, we're good. And I'm not wandering away. And quickly, it was still erotic to me, but it had that little level of uneasiness. Yeah, yeah, that little bit of tinge of uneasiness. But then all of a sudden, after the first couple of times, like the uneasiness went away. And it's just like, fuck yeah, that's hot. I never knew that you were uneasy about it. It wasn't uneasy in the sense, I mean, I've always been, I'm not now, but I was always uneasy in the beginning of, you know, here's this beautiful woman who's a stripper that could have had anyone you wanted. And you had bad choices. You have bad choices, for sure. And again, you know how I feel about myself. I don't necessarily feel I'm all that. I make jokes about it, but by all stretches, I don't think I'm anything special. You are special. Well, in one bus I ride, they tell me I'm special. I wear my helmet and I look at the window. You're good to go. That's how I got such good tongue skills is looking at the window. Look at the window. My favorite flavor is window. Your favorite flavor is window. I agree with that one. Anyway, but no, there's always that, like, again, that was in the early days, and I had just come out of a bad marriage. Sure, that makes sense. But anyway, let's let that go. No, I get it, and you should always, like, with your partner, you should confirm and definitely enforce that they are the most special person to you, and then, you've always said this, and I kind of disagreed in the beginning, but now I fully changed my mind. that we are not meant to be sexually monogamous. No, we're not. We're meant to be relationship-wise monogamous, but not sexually. Who we go through life with, we're meant to be. As a partner. In our opinion. In our opinion, it just seems to work. We're meant to be monogamous. Yeah. Sexually, I believe if we were meant to be sexually monogamous, you wouldn't see a beautiful woman on TV and like, oh my God. There wouldn't be porn. There wouldn't be. Men's Magazine. You know, you're talking evil. I know. A world without porn. You know, all those things. You wouldn't be attracted to other people at all. No. You would marry, and then all of a sudden, I don't see any other opposite sex or same sex. Whatever turns you on. Whatever. So anyway. Okay. If one of you gets cold feet at the last minute, what's the plan? Ditch it. Ditch it. Nope. Doesn't happen. Doesn't happen. Don't try to coerce the other person. I would take a step back, you know, go home, maybe talk about it, and I go find out, okay, what was the problem? What was the hiccup in there? What made you feel insecure? Why the change of, you know? Some, like my good friend. Yeah. You know, his wife is not about it. Right. Her upbringing tells her it's wrong. Right. Correct. Whether anyone wants a, side with that or not, it's another story. But you have to, you know, how badly do you want this person to be your partner? True. Is that worth risking it all for a one night stand or just a fling? You have children. What is, you have to think outside of your own. Needs. Yes. Sexual needs. How will you communicate during an experience if something feels awkward? We're amazing. Sign language. Wow. We don't know what you're saying. You'll just be doing the things with your fingers. I'll be doing things with my fingers, too. Can you read them while they're in her snatch? Probably not. Yeah, probably not. You read her face. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, that's a... That's a tough one. a safe word or not a safe word. You can do that. I mean, in all fairness. My vest has no sleeves. That's time to go. My dick is shriveling. I don't know. I've never. Okay, my two cents. Okay, your two cents. You both need to communicate that if it's not working for you in this situation. But again, start with the same room. Yeah, like I always said, baby steps. Start with soft swap. Sure. Or just oral. Yep. And again, take that, it isn't just one experience. Go with it multiple times. Mm-hmm. Make sure you're with couples that understand this, that you're easing into it. Yeah, or sometimes I think we start out with single men. It was just an easier, it was just easier to find. They were either with the chemistry was easier. Because finding a single woman is damn near impossible. Well, not only that, but the thing at least with a couple, you can find a couple that is willing to work with you into the process. Sure. If the wife is not comfortable seeing another woman suck his dick. Right. Or he's not comfortable watching another man give his wife oral. Right. Then say, okay, I'm sorry, this isn't working for us. I'm not comfortable. You know, get out early. Yeah, get out early. Because it can really be traumatizing. Because once penetration happens, it can damage your relationship. It's amazing how breaking the plane can do that. But I've heard about it. Well, people wouldn't relate that too much into emotion. Okay? And again, there's nothing wrong with that. Penetration doesn't necessarily, like I said, I think kissing equals more emotion than penetration. Kissing is way more passion. That's why there's a lot of call girls or prostitutes or whatever you want to call them these days that kissing is off the table because it does involve more intimacy than sticking a dick in your pussy. That's why hookers don't kiss a lot. Hookers don't kiss a lot. So what's hotter to you? Sharing the experience together or knowing your partner is being desired? I like sharing the This is what people who are contemplating. I think it has to be that. I think so, too. I like it better, but I think as a newbie, you can see your other partner. You see what's going on. They didn't leave you. You know what I mean? Just threw you to the wolves, so to speak. So I think that's pretty important as a newbie. I think sharing the experience. Yeah, absolutely. Telling your wife or husband, like, oh my God, watching you was so erotic. Right, exactly. And if your partner can tell you, it's like, oh my God, when I was watching you with them, again, that way it goes either way, was so erotic. And you realize, Let's look at it from an acting end. So if your partner is pretending to do something, you're going, oh, my God, that was so, you were phenomenal. That was a great act. Look at it that way. Don't have to look at it as, I was like, oh, my God, your dick was inside of her or whatever. Look at it from, how erotic was it seeing your partner's face and emotions at that point? Not so much, Who they were with? Right. That does make sense. That does make sense. And I think, too, there's a level of security of knowing that your partner's in the same room with you. I mean, for us, it's fine if you wander off into another room with somebody else, you know, and I can't find you for hours and hours. But I cry myself to sleep at night, but that's all right. I'm glad you're okay with that. I'm okay with that. How will you keep the lifestyle from becoming more important than your relationship? Oh, that's a great one. We have seen so many people that the whole lifestyle has become even more important than their relationship. Your relationship is the most important thing. You're not even going to dabble into the lifestyle until your relationship is strong. If the lifestyle is more important to you than your relationship, you need to step back your relationship. Sure, absolutely. So you might not... Don't hurt the person you're with. If all of a sudden you realize this is not the person I want to be with, then you need to address that outside of the lifestyle. Yeah, you absolutely do because the lifestyle is not going to fix that. That is for sure. It's going to be a crash and burn for sure. If you choose to stay in that relationship, now you're coexisting. Possibly. And if that works for you, great, whatever. But yeah. No, we've always looked at swinging as adding a spice to the recipe. Yep, just a tiny little spice. Yeah, it's something that makes it a little more fun, a little more erotic, but not a necessity. No. I mean, would I want to give it up? No, but even if we're not. Could you? Could I? Sure. I mean, I could, but I'm still in, I'll always be in that mindset because a lifestyle has become a mindset for us. It's not, it's not the physical activity of having sex with other people. Back it up a little bit. Okay, back it up. You and I are so secure in our relationship, you know, to the best of our knowledge. Maybe we're not so secure. I don't know. Okay, go ahead. I mean, if for whatever reason you and I said, okay, let's just knock it off, we would do it. Yeah, we would definitely do it. Okay. We don't need to do it. We enjoy it. It adds to our relationship. It's not a need. It's a want. It's the extra. You know what might be more important? What's that? Or more relevant. That's probably better. If I sat there and said, okay, John B. We don't have a John B. Don't worry about it. I think you and John B. are getting too... Chummy. Yeah. And I said, I'd personally prefer if you don't play with John B. anymore. Right. Because, you know what, I see you texting him all the time. Right, right. You talk about him all the time. Right, yeah. These are telltale signs. Yeah. So, you know, it's something to keep in check. And you have to do it yourself. It's like, okay, am I finding that I want to be with someone else? And again, is it just sexual? Or am I going shopping with John B? Am I going, you know, talking to him about life? And, you know, it's just like, no, it should just be a sexual thing. Sure. Which is really weird because most people who are not in the lifestyle, if it's just a sexual thing, they would find that very threatening. Oh, they're just having sex. Yeah. It's nothing more than sex. Well. You know, it's kind of a strange, you know, dichotomy here. Okay, John B. can make you feel great sexually. Right. But, you know, it's like, okay, John B. is, let's say he's 25. Right. It's like, okay, what kind of life are you going to have? You're 65, he's 25. Yeah, he's 25, yeah. Okay. Oh, he's fun to roll around and that's for sure. Yeah, he's fun to ride his cock, but. with him, it's like, hmm. How much, really, do you have in common other than you can make each other come? Exactly. Those are things you have to think about. You have to really step back and look at what your relationships, what level everything's at. Okay, finish the sentence together. Okay. If we do it this night, swinging will, hang on, let me bring it up. Okay, finish the sentence together. If we did this right, swinging will make our relationship feel more... Oh, our relationship more whole, more inclusive, more complete. Exciting. Exciting. Not that we don't have excitement now, but it's definitely incompletes. Well, okay, here's my definition for the excitement. Okay. Okay. I'm not exciting. I didn't say that. No, I don't care. I really don't care. Thanks. I don't care. No, so in our relationship, our sex is based on sometimes celebration. Yeah. Sometimes on someone going through a tough time and maybe you want to make the other one feel good. Mm-hmm. Sometimes on like, oh, we haven't had a lot of time together. Mm-hmm. Okay. But sex with a partner in the swing lifestyle is like, okay, that was like going to go play golf, go bowling. It's an extracurricular activity that is fun. It's just fun. Okay. So to me, that is the excitement is like, okay, swinging, you know, the, if we do this right, swinging will make our relationship feel more more exciting because when we're having our fun, and we do this. We talk about. We sit there like, oh, my God, honey, I love this. I love, I had this dream about you doing this or whatever, whatever. Yeah, I'm always like way more erotic in your dreams. I love you to fix the upper deck. Oh, my God. Oh, baby, I had this dream that you built a new shed. I had a dream that we had the money to get a new roof. Oh, my God, my pussy was so wet with his dream. I had to masturbate to it. Oh, a new fence. Nope. I think the swing is not just, like I've said before, it's not just a physical attribute. It is a way of thinking. There's so much more inclusive, like all these weird fetishes that you can talk about. Like, I really like being flogged. Okay, so that's a question that's not, or a point not made in these questions. Right. I have one more question. Okay, one more question. But one of the things that's not brought up in this is what if you marry, okay, and we're a great example of this. Right. You enjoy the BDSM to some degree. To some degree. I always said I'm a dabbler. I like being flogged. Okay, we've talked about this. I'm not into that remotely. Not even close. Okay, so, In our relationship, you might, okay, let's pretend we were vanilla. Oh, my God. And you might sit there and say. I'd be so frustrated. Well, you'd sit there and like, oh, my God, I would like to. I didn't know I liked it, though. But, okay. But let's pretend you had a slight inkling. Okay. And like, honey, can you like, you know, like smack my ass? I'm like, I'm going to tell you no. Oh, smacking your ass and flogging are two different things. Okay, I'm just picking something. Okay, work with me. Work with me. Yeah, you're right. I'd be very frustrated because I have this, like, I really would like it if you did this to me. Like, restrain me. I want my hair pulled. Let's pretend you sat there and said, honey, I'd like to lick your ass. I'm going to sit there and go, no. No. Okay, but you're like, honey, I really want to lick your ass. I'm going to say, no. Okay. Those who want that done, great. God bless you. Okay. Not my thing. Right, right. And these are very vague examples, okay? There are people that, like, have things they desire. Right. A husband might sit there and go, honey, I want you to peg me. And she's like, hey, what the fuck is peg? If you said that to me, I'd be like, um. You need to get help. If this is what you really want, I would definitely go the extra mile to accommodate you. But I'm not comfortable. Your first question, Why? What made this come about? To me, because you know me well enough. Yeah. Okay. But if it did, I'd be fine with that. I'd be like, okay. Or if a wife went to her husband, honey, I'd like to be with another woman. And he's going to go, fuck yeah. No. Just me and her, honey. Not you. You get to stay home. What? I just want a girl-girl experience. Yeah. Okay. This is where swinging opens up. avenues that everyone can explore. And again, we're a prime example. I'm not into the BDSM thing. Those who aren't, God bless you. Whatever. So I open up the channels for you to do that. Yep. And it doesn't even impact our relationship at all. No. It's like, it's fine. Yep. You know. I don't have anything I can sit there and say I want to do that you are not into. I know. But you know, it gives like It gives a couple, like, to take a walk on the wild side and then come back into the relationship again. Like, walk on the wild side and go crazy a little bit and then come back into the relationship. Closest thing I have is, like, if you're in the Northeast, you'll understand this. I like Scrapple. You don't. Ugh. Okay. I like olives. Oh, no. You don't. Okay. I haven't tried liking olives. No, you have. You have tried. But I haven't tried cock. I don't want to try cock. I have no desire to try cock. I have tried your likes more than you have tried my likes. And I'm happy with that. I'm okay with that. I have tried liking what you like. I will own what I don't like. And I respect the fact that you have tried the stuff I like. I don't see any redeeming thing about them. I'm sorry. Olives are just disgusting. I hope you accept the fact that I can't try some things you enjoy. I don't want a dick in my ass. I don't like big cocks. I do not like big cocks. I do not like small cocks. I do not like cocks in my ass. In my pants. In my pants. I do not like them. I am. So anyway. No, I wasn't very good, but we had fun with it. Yeah, whatever. You know where we're going. You can come up with something better. Email us. Work it out. Email us at info at hotwifepodcast.com. Shameless plug right there. But yeah, so that was 20 spicy questions for a couple thinking about swinging. We either talked you into it or out of it. I'm not sure. I don't think you can talk people into swinging. They're both not already have that little whispering in the background. I don't think you can talk them into it. The first important aspect that maybe we didn't cover here is two of you need to sit down and have a serious conversation. And you need to have a serious evaluation of your relationship. That takes all the sexiness right out of it. No, it doesn't. No. When you get to the evaluation of, like, I would love to see you with another person. Yeah, that's... How do you feel about seeing me with another person? Or it's like, I want to see you with another person, but I don't need you to see me with anyone else. I don't need to be with anyone else. There's so many... Scenarios. Yeah, avenues, so many multipliers or whatever you want to call. So anyway, yeah, it's... Explore them all and talk about them and... We invite you to email us at info at hotwifepodcast.com. We will try to steer you in the best way we can. We're almost 52 minutes into the show. Oh, my goodness. It's important. I mean, before you take that leap into the swinger pool and, you know, don't go right into the deep end. No, don't. Number one, you know, dip your feet in. Go down the steps. Go down the steps, yeah. Into the kiddie pool. Don't jump into the kiddie pool even. You know, and be honest with your desires. Even if you think they're weird. Be honest with each other. Exactly. Honesty is probably the key. Talk about it. It's like, what are your desires? What would, what are things that you find exciting? If you want your relationship, if the one you're in, is that important to you? Right. And that needs to be more important than swinging. Sure, absolutely. Absolutely. Okay. You know, and again, we invite you to, like I said, info at Hot Wife Podcast. email us even let us know we'll email us and we'll call you and talk to you you know we yeah we don't talk you into it or talk you out of it well we're gonna we're gonna tell you how it is plain simple yeah we've been through it and uh luckily um we are it's been a very good experience for us we i'd like to think we have a super strong um relationship Yeah, that's probably key. Yeah. And we're both honest with like our desires and what our turn-ons as, you know, my turn-ons might be, I don't think they're that weird. Certainly not. Oh, no. No, I'm pretty vanilla in the swing and roll. I'm pretty vanilla. Yeah, being flogged and restrained and whatever. Fist up your ass. That's fine. I mean, that's, you know, what the hell. That's all normal. It's all normal. At least disdainy. 16, you know, the whole team. Oh, yeah, I'll go with that. You know, just one at a time. One at a time, yeah. I want to be spit-roasted. Yeah, sure, sure. I want to be, you know, bukkake into a glazed donut. Yeah, it's fine. I'll wear those little glasses with the windshield wipers on them. Yeah. I got to only swallow three cum loads at a time. You know, I'm working up to it. I have to, you know, it's like the Olympics. You just can't just jump right in there. You got to like stretch and train and, you know, I do like cock sucking. You know the train thing, all right. I pulled enough of them. Is that what you're trying to say? train, push, pulled, whatever. Fucking train station. Goddamn, ran about. Anyway. What are you trying to say? I said it. Anyway. Hey, you know what? That's the most loving thing you've ever said to me. Check out 50ShadesOfPleasure.com. We, again, it's a free magazine covering BDSM and the Swinger Lifestyle. Again, we thank everyone who listens. Our numbers are growing. We're very humbled. This is meant just to be originally. If we can get 50 listeners, that'd be great. That'd be awesome. And we're up to 52. But no, we're very humbled. From around the world, people listen. Amazing. Hopefully you enjoy life and the lifestyle as much as we do. That's a nice way to end this one. Of course, you want to see who I'm banging. Check out hotwipedonlin.com. Also, shameless plug. There you go. Hey, stay happy. Stay horny.