Bad Experiences in Swinging

Transcript

Hi, this is Donna Lynn and welcome to my hot wife podcast. Well, good evening, everybody. This is Donna Lynn and welcome to the hot wife podcast.

I'm here again another well good evening everybody this is donna lynn and welcome to the hot wife podcast i'm here again another lovely evening with my wonderful husband vince you are so full of shit well at least i'm trying to kiss my ass for something that's right yep wait i got paid yesterday yeah that's what it's a price tag involved there is there's something like that oh come on I'm not like that I'm not a gold digger wait quiet oh wait wait whoa you just had to do that I got lucky which yeah you did otherwise you pushed all these damn buttons like i could have pushed this one well yeah so um tonight I got lucky which part I pushed too.

Yeah, you did. Otherwise, you pushed all these damn buttons. I could have pushed this one. Well, yeah. Tonight's show was supposed to be a live broadcast. We ran into some technical difficulties. That's a nice way of putting it. Well, dealing with an old computer and a new mixing board, and they don't want to play nice. So hopefully next show we'll have that worked out. Yeah. calls in anyway. Not to worry. But we'll get that worked out and maybe one day someone will call in. Maybe. Somebody might like us. Well, you didn't like me. Oh, they like you. It's me. That's the problem, I'm sure.

No, I don't think so. I thought for sure you'd take that. No one likes me. Oh, stop. Okay, so what are we talking about? How did it used to go years ago when you were a kid? No one likes me. That's why I eat worms. Everybody hates me. Nobody likes me. That's why I eat worms. I'm going to go and eat worms. Why would you do that? Mine and protein. Okay. Green keto diet. No. Anyway.

No, no anyway no no so tonight's topic is bad swinging uh experiences yes yeah we've had a few we've had a few no we've had far more good experiences oh yeah that's true we have had had a lot more enjoyable experiences than bad ones. And some of them, I can't say that they're bad. They're just really weird. Well, there's weird, there's bad. They all fall into the bad category. Yeah, not as... Because then there's some that are horrific. Okay. I don't know if we've had any of them. We'll get into it. We'll get into it, yeah. You pick the first experience you want to talk about.

Well, the first experience that comes to mind. And we will not use names. No. It was the Halloween party. That's like the one that stands out in my mind as the pinnacle of bad experiences. Okay, let me set the stage. My husband dressed me in. Oh, that Halloween party. Yes. I'm thinking back when we had the photograph parties. Oh, no, no, the photo parties. No. This is where we went to a swinger party out in, I guess it was in Redding, but whatever. It doesn't matter where. Close enough to Redding. Yep. And he dressed me in... Now, this was 20... It was early in our swinging.

It was pretty early. It was 15 years ago. You hadn't had had or you just had your hip replacement? I had not had my first hip replacement. But you were going for it because the other girl had it. No, no. She hadn't had it yet. And both of us were commiserating as how hard it was. So you had your hip replaced. The first one, what, 2006? Five. Five, 2005. So the story takes place circa 2005. Yeah, probably a little bit before that. Go for it. So I'm wearing, he's going to dress me up as a devil. Oh, that sounds really cute, yada, yada. So I'm wearing nothing but latex paint. That's the outfit.

Latex paint, a demi-bra. So my nipples are, my breasts are exposed, except for for a little demi-bra which all it does is just hold them up a little bit. And latex paint. And I wore a thong and red thigh high boots. And red latex paint. And red latex paint. And we did have those rubber latex wings. They had a tail on them. They were demon wings. Yeah, demon wings. And I did have some horns on my head. It was really a cute outfit. I had like these contacts that had the flames in them or the cat eyes. I can't remember which one I wore. The flames.

I think I did wear the flames because the cat eyes were, I had them, but one eye would stay upright while the other eye would become perpendicular to it. Oh, sure. It was a contact. It was a contact. It was like one eye was like going the wrong way. It's like, what's going on here? Because every time I blink, you were like, move. I see that shit every day. Thank you. I'm free, though. So I had made myself this Celtic cloak to wear over it because the party had moved to a back room of this restaurant. And it was a big back room. It wasn't like a tiny little thing.

It was was big it was a big room it was a okay it was a place you could actually rent to cater restaurant that if you had a wedding reception it was you could do that it had dining area in the center kind of was this raised bar type of thing yeah so as i walk in and i take off my my cloak because i as we walked to the restaurant i was like god these people are like you know i'm glad i'm not just walking through it was a vanilla they saw a lot of people yeah but it still was a vanilla type sure um restaurant it was not a swinger restaurant so we're walking i don't know of any swinger restaurants i don't know either but i'm you know but whatever but when i came in and i took off my cloak it was like we said that before that quintessential the needle across the record i mean people's heads just whipped around and looked at me as i took off my cloak and i'm like okay so let's back up a little bit okay what people that attend that attended this, there was a lot of women that were slightly fluffy.

I'm trying to replay here. Fluffy schoolgirls. Yes. Lots of fluffy schoolgirls. And they all had the same concept that they would look good as Britney Spears and, you know. One of her video, whatever her videos are. Oops, I did it again or something whatever i don't know and um they looked more like somebody who swallowed britney spears but they were all sweet people i didn't yeah that's fine i don't care about that but when they all turned around and looked What I'm saying is there weren't many that I witnessed that matched your bodily stature. So they're all taller than me? Yes.

But they were short for their weight. They were short for their weight. Whatever. They were vertically challenged. Well, I'm vertically challenged. They were 190 pounds, but only 5'2". Yeah, it wasn't good. It was not a good... You had to quick do the math on that. Yeah, I did. It was like, that wasn't good. Yeah, that was them. It was not good. But that wasn't the worst part. That wasn't the bad part.

Yeah, that wasn't you know people somewhere wearing some really bizarre outfits and things like that or still not the worst part no no the worst part was maybe i'll have you explain it i'm standing there and these and people are coming up and i wish i had like could do some video like their hands were like they're just grabbing my boobs okay they were just grabbing my paint because we live about almost an hour from there yeah and in wearing the cloak because it was winter well yeah it was october sure it was cold yeah so you had the paint on and then you had this cloak on to try to stay warm right and in the process your body naturally perspires well yeah and some of the paint started to peel off a little bit yeah like on my armpits and stuff it started to peel off when we got to she disrobed there in the back room and we were uh up by the bar right um you know people started taking notice of the paint peeling here and there i don't think that's what it was i think they were just ignorant people.

I got my boobs grabbed. They all wanted to see the costume because it was very unique. If there was a prize, you would have won it. Right. Okay. So the paint is starting to peel in certain areas. Do you want to take it from there or should I continue?

I just remember people grabbing at me quite a bit but you were you were i was in the midst of it so for me it was like kind of like let me also paint this picture okay donna is uh four foot 11 and all of 106 109 pounds i'm a little bit more than that but i love you go ahead okay um i am 6'1 right at that time i was closer to 270 yeah you're still a big boy yeah um and donna had made me a grim reaper cloak right so here's this you know so i'm this shadowing figure over top of her with a big hood that covered my face and everything else and i'm standing next to her and they are men and women mostly coming up mostly men mostly men coming up and trying to peel stuff off and and cop a feel and yeah they're grabbing my tits left and right it's like unbelievable in the meantime they started pushing me further and further away right by getting between me and her now i used to bounce donna as well as some other girls bachelor parties i'm not shy nope and i can mix it up so very quickly i threw my hood off so they could see the veins in my neck bulging grabbed three guys with one arm and just pushed them back and basically told them next person who touches her will lose every tooth in their head it wasn't good news to say after Did you notice there was a lot of level of respect?

It calmed down after that. I don't know why. I don't know either. It was awful. It was just awful. Don't do it. When they saw that the Grim Reaper was going to kill them. It was unbelievable, the lack of respect. I was so disappointed in people in the life. It's like you've never seen a naked body. At that party. At that party. I was just, well, this turned us off to like all parties after that. That was, we had been to a few other parties that weren't meet and greets. Meet and greets, not really parties. That were not, because we've been to a couple of house parties and people were nice.

Yeah, after that. but it kind of soured me on parties in general for a long time. We're not party-type people. But it was the worst. It was just the worst. Would you rule that as your worst experience? Yeah, I think so. That's the first one I popped in my head, so I'm thinking.

All right, well, I'm going to talk about the one that really sticks in my head okay you talk about the six in your head i have a couple but i'm gonna go with the one that really sticks in my head um on the one website we're on um you know to meet other couples singles right have you um there's one couple that was fairly local that kept wondering you know oh i'd love to meet you love to meet you we to meet you, oh, we want to meet you, we want to meet you. So I put them off. They weren't, according to the pictures, I didn't feel it was necessarily a match. I'm just going to say it that way.

It didn't feel it was a match. Right.

And so one night we had some, at our old house, we had an an outdoor hot tub and right and we lived in a townhouse so it was a four-unit townhouse we had our right outside our back door was our hot tub and again you couldn't really fart without the neighbors hearing it oh yeah so when we were in the hot tub it wasn't so much a playground for the sex stuff it was just we went there because we had bad backs yep and we happened to have some vanilla friends over that day i can't even remember who they were but i remember we haven't i just can't either but but anyway it's irrelevant so we'd gotten out of the hot tub for a little bit or something like that and this the husband of that couple had reached out like oh hey we'd really like to meet you and i'm thinking well you know that couple's here right so it'll be a barrier yeah it's like okay we could be safe here so i told him i said hey yeah you guys come over love to meet you however i have vanilla friends here so everything's got to stay kind of vanilla vanilla oh no problem no problem we just want to meet you well they show up you know i don't know half an hour later and of course just as a wow that was a high note what the fuck that come from uh sorry i my pants must be too tight.

Must be. I don't know. As they pulled up, my friends were like, oh, we really have to get going. It's like, no, don't, don't, please, please stay. So our friends left. So now we're saddled with this couple, which, and my suspicions were right that they weren't really a match. So, but somehow they decided to get, it's like's like oh let's all get back in the hot tub it's like alright we'll get back in the hot tub wasn't he the hot tub repair?

well I was going there I couldn't remember it's been a while we had a big brand name hot tub that we overpaid for I think it overpaid for any hot tub truthfully so that we all get in the hot tub and he proceeds to tell us how our hot tub's a piece of shit and everything else and blah it's like wow pal you really scored fucking points now i grew up with my mom's side of the family being Italian. One of my pet peeves. Is loud. People who talk loud. People who talk loud when they're a foot away from you and feel they have to fucking yell at you. It's like, I'm a fucking foot away.

But that's the Italian way. That's the Italian way. I've been through. Not a for nothing, but I'm going to fucking yell. Just in case you could know here. Anyway. So the wife. That is funny. is the wife she's that person nice but now we're out in the in the hot tub which is i guess right outside our townhouse and these are 1970s townhouses they're not these new no no huge townhouses where you have some distance there's no no yard no nothing nothing you fart You fart in the neighbor's closer window like, Jesus Christ, that stinks. Not that I've ever done that.

But anyway, we're in the hot tub and she's like, oh, sex must be great out here. Oh, she was talking about getting blowjobs on the side of the hot tub. I really like going to pee-pee about posts. And we're like, Jesus Christ, shut the fuck up. In the meantime, and then the husband's insulting us about the hot tub we bought because he's Mr. Hot Tub. So we quickly said, wow, hey, look at the time. Boy, it's getting late. So for some reason, they're like, hey, can we come in for a minute? It's like, oh, okay.

So we went into the living room and I used to have a pretty remotely successful photography business doing fine art. Yeah, and with models and stuff. Stuff like that, yeah. And I did a lot of photography for the Swinger community. Right. So at that time, it was really before iPads. So I had a printed portfolio and she wanted to see it so she's looking at it she's all amazed and he's talking his shit whatever that was they were sitting in the living room and you know she's like oh my god and yelling that you know so it's like well the neighbors know what the fuck you're talking about.

Neighbors across the street, that is. The neighbors down the street. The street, yeah, the next town over. But so she gets on looking, oh, honey, you've got to see this. He grabs the portfolio. He stayed looking straight in my face, not at the portfolio. He flipped through every page. He went through every goddamn page without ever looking at it. Puts the book down and goes so are we going to play? And it's just like okay you're a rude motherfucker. Your wife's a loud motherfucker. No. I would play with her before him. Oh yeah. I wouldn't play with him at all. Oh god. Of course I think.

I mean you know what I'm saying. It's like he just pissed me off. I would not even let you play with him at all oh god of course i think i mean you know what i'm saying that's like he just pissed me off i would not even let you play with him oh fuck i'd rather have my yeah okay pussy cut off or god don't you talk about your tongue woman it was like it was awful it was such a turnoff it was that was a turnoff i basically quickly came up with a so listen i'm sorry it's late. Like I said, just wanted to meet you guys. I said, I got a photo shoot in the morning. We really need to get to bed.

I got to leave for a photo shoot at like 7 in the morning. Yeah, yeah. There was no fucking photo shoot. But just, it's like, you know. Get the fuck out. Yeah, it's like, yeah. You don't got to go home, but you got to get the fuck out of here. So, yeah, kicked them out. That was, to me, because of the level of rudeness. And the next story I'll tell, after you tell your next one, also deals with rude. I got a bunch of rude ones. So even if you take one of my rudes, I got another rude. You probably didn't.

The only other one that I found as an experience that I thought was weird was we were with a particular couple who had the weird rules. Go ahead. That's a good one. That's the one? That's a great one. No, that's not one of mine. I'll see it into the category of not a good experience. It was not a good experience. And they were nice people.

They were nice people, but it was not a good experience and they were nice people but it was not a good experience they were friends they weren't necessarily one of the most attractive couples but they were nice that's one of the few couples I can honestly say she was enamored with me and he was enamored with you the enamored with me thing doesn't happen a whole lot it was a little scary scary. Anybody who's enamored with me is scary. They're usually bunny boilers. I'm not talking about you, honey. No, of course not. Send help. She's a bunny boiler. I am out captive.

You might want to explain where that reference came from, Fatal Attraction. Fatal Attraction, yeah. If you don't know that, watch the movie Fatal Attraction. Watch the movie. Bunny Boiler. It's definitely in there. You can probably just go to YouTube and look it up. Oh, yeah, easy enough. That way you don't see the whole fucking movie. No, well, and... That was the only time Glenn Close looked hot, by the way. I agree. Other than that, she looks like a fucking train wreck.

That's a nice way of way of putting it but okay let's get on to this next not great experience well this couple first had weird rules we've gone over this before they had like the baseball rules like one couldn't go the first base or second base until the other one caught up they couldn't advance any further than the other one yeah that's how's right. Expand on that, please. Okay, so like if they were tricks. So obviously they're into same room sex. Sex, right. Okay, they won't do separate rooms. No, they won't. They need to be able to see what each other's doing.

Exactly, so they can keep score. I got to watch you. You can't be fucking somebody. Until I get the chance to fuck them. So that was weird.

So that was really weird weird but the you know so um god i hope i can remember this correctly it's been a while i remember like i blew him or whatever anyway he came before his wife did well you could not advance further than the other person other couple and so it was so weird like the instance you're talking about was um you were blowing him and i'm going down on her okay he came in whatever time i wasn't paying attention right let's say he came first but she had And here's one of the bonuses of being a woman. You could have multiple orgas attention. Right. He put it again first.

But she hadn't yet. And here's one of the bonuses of being a woman. You could have multiple orgasms. Right. And we've discussed in another podcast that one of God's talents he's given me is pussy eating. You have a very strong tongue. And I can go for a while with that. And go for a while with it without a problem. A short chain in the penis area. But whatever. I'm not bitter. I am not bitter. Ha? Anyway, so what we're saying is you made him have his orgasm first. Now, he could not advance on you. Right, because we had to sit there and do it. Until she was done. Exactly.

So then she could do me and he could be doing you. Right. And the thing is, she was a squirter. Right. I forgot about that aspect. Oh, yeah. I was doing her for about an hour and getting multiple sprays in the face. Oh, my goodness. I was pretending I was the Gordon's fisherman there. Yeah, there we go. There's a bunch of references there you can get in that. Yeah, really? The ocean, the spray. The spray. But in the meantime, you had blown him. He had come.

And you guys were sitting on the couch just chatting because there's nothing else how about those fillies I was like what do we do who's your favorite team in the football league you know it's like what do you do you sit there it was a buzz kill that was such a buzz kill right there it's like really I gotta sit here the buzz sit here. No, the buzzkill's coming. The buzzkill's definitely coming. So, well, let me get this in my mind. Well, wait a minute. I might get this wrong, so please correct me if I get it wrong. I can.

Well, the only thing I remember is like they said, okay, let's switch position. I guess you finally came enough or whatever. She was quivering.

As they do and and he started to go down on me then all of us and she was going down on you correct and then they both stopped at the same time like i don't know if they had a timer if if they are telepathic or what the fuck happened but it was like scary it was scary they based off at the same time she went to her purse got something i remember like i looked over you you looked over me like what the fuck's going on what the fuck is synchronized oral sex the next olympic event i might i would watch olympics for that hey here's one off topic okay you know when olympics first started it was yeah, yes, yes.

Do you think if they ever brought the Olympics back, except for the people that are underage? Exactly. Okay, if they brought it back, would you be more interested in watching the Olympics? Watching athletes in the nude? Yeah. Like track stars, I know you. A bunch of men running around with their junk flopping around. Oh, that's got to be painful. Well, I wouldn't say I would do it. All of a sudden, wrestling might be an event to actually play on TV. It would be something else to grab a hold of. Now I'll wrestle. Jesus Christ. I hated the outfit, but now I like the outfit. Swimming.

Swimming would be fun. They would have a little drag factor, so you might not be so fast. Maybe. Yeah. I don't know. I think the clothes. High diving would be interesting. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Ice skating. Gymnastics, again, we talked about that before, not on air, but that's mostly younger girls, so we have to, unfortunately, gymnastics would have to go away. Unless you're over the age of 18. Yeah, if you're over 18, you can do it. You can do it. The girls under 18 would have to have it. I'm sorry. They have to have different Olympics for them. Junior Olympics.

What would be the, we'll make that another day. Go ahead, back to your story. I'm sorry. I'm getting all flustered here. I was thinking about, you know. Well, yeah, the Olympics were nude back in ancient Rome. Sure. Anyway, back to the event. But, yes, the synchronized pussy, or oral, that's what it was. Oh, yeah.

They came back at the same time, and they both went down on the same time, and both of us all of a sudden jump up like what the fuck was going on all I felt was his burning sensation in my and they were like oh taking it back like what you didn't like that and like what did you do they put Listerine strips in their mouth before they went down on us. It was like, what would make you do that? You didn't.

what did you do they put listerine strips in their mouth before they went down on us it was like what would make you do that listerine burns when i put it in my mouth why would i put it on my fucking genitals yeah serious any mucous membrane is it yeah so yeah need to say that kind of like oh it killed it yeah it's like i'm done i'm done I'm burning I'm my everything's wow you thought that was a good idea that's special that wasn't special that fucking sucked you motherfuckers it was awful well I'm going to show you what we like to do in sex we like to shoot our players in the fucking head sorry that wasn't good well anytime you put anything like that on a mucous membrane that includes your genitals folks you don't do that that includes like any of these oils you know like um i'm just gonna go off topic just for a second here an old boyfriend he wanted to be all sexy when i need took oil of wintergreen smells lovely doesn't it it does it smells great sure put it on his balls the thing swelled up like grapefruits wow so that wasn't attractive to you i don't mind if he had big balls to begin with when it wasn't a problem exactly he raised his hand vince has big balls but his balls swelled like grapefruits.

They were swollen and red and he was in so much pain. I feel you just violated my privacy. I'm sorry. I was trying to keep it a secret. I'm sure. Like you care. No, I don't. You don't do that. That is not a good thing to do. So it ruins sex that time. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't do that. Oh, yeah, big time. And it was swollen and red for several days. You had to put cold compresses on it. So one of the purposes of this topic that we're talking about is if you decide to get into the lifestyle, be aware you're going to have some bad experiences. And you're going to have some... Now, again, I...

But that's life. But we had far more good experiences. These are just a few... Oh, wow, I get to kill some dogs. But... What the hell are they doing? But, yeah, we've had a few bad ones. So I am... My story now. My story kind of translates to multiple stories. Oh, boy. Now, I am blessed with the fact that for whatever reason, Donna finds me now, and there's a story for that, now to be attractive. We were just friends. Okay, we were. You were happily married. I am not necessarily the most attractive person. But I give great personality. Yes, you do. In my mind. In your mind.

It's my opinion for what that's fucking worth, which won't buy a fucking cup of coffee anymore. So which dog should I kill? Anyway. The one that's barking, I I think that would just make my day we already lost a cat this week do we need to lose a dog too so we've had people reach out to us through the different swinger sites like oh we'd love to play with her but not him do you see, yeah. You see, we're a couple. That pissed me off. But there was one instance, and I'm going to keep him short, so I get to qualify for two. That's fine, I don't care. There's no time limit here, as far as I know.

There was one couple we met that introduced us to this other couple, and they were having a cookout, and we went down to their house on this Saturday or Sunday, whatever it was, Thank you. we met that introduced us to this other couple and they were having a cookout.

And we went down to their house on this Saturday or Sunday, whatever it was, and we're having this cookout and everything else, and then the party slowly started to diminish, people left, and the couple that hosted the party who we got introduced to, you know, again, I was known for my photography, wanted me to take some pictures and, like, start out with, you know, Donna and them playing. I knew where you were going. So we did. So I'm taking pictures, and they're playing, and they're having fun, and, you know, I'm getting a little worked up because I'm almost human.

And so it's like, okay, it's getting redundant now with the photographs. You photographs you know during sex there's only so many photographs you could take before it's like well i got 75 pictures of that already exactly so it's like okay so i put the camera down and i put the camera down started to walk over and also it's like oh wow look how late he's gone we really have to get to bed and it's like what so basically they all stop playing and i'm standing like okay and then we kind of walk towards the door and you know the husband shook my hand and everything else you You know, as he should.

I don't want him kissing me. But the wife didn't kiss me, even give me a peck on the cheek, smack on the ass or anything. Just like, oh, it was really great meeting you guys and it was a lot of fun. We'll see you later. It's like, really? Wow. You know they never got those pictures. Good. Fuck them. No. You know what I'm saying. Forget about it. But then the next thing was this one couple wanted to meet us, so we went to dinner with them at a public bar, restaurant, and we're sitting there, and they were a nice couple. I don't remember anything stuck out objectively towards them.

Is this the one, the female, she wasn't happy with any of the food. Yeah, she was kind of a... She was bitchy the whole time. Just like nothing, just nothing pleased her. But it didn't appear anything towards me. Right, right. We had a decent evening. We had some conversation. We were laughing and having a good time. Obviously, the husband was more than enamored with you. I think she was probably more enamored with you than me, obviously. And so we get done in the restaurant and we walk out to the parking lot to go. And again, there's no expectations of anything.

This was just a friendly dinner.

So the husband goes over and shakes my hand and goes over and gives donna a nice kiss it's like oh it's great meeting you guys and the the wife goes over gives donna a kiss and says god it's great meeting you they turn around and walk away and i'm like really you don't even say goodbye to me go fuck yourself a peck on the cheek nothing it's like nothing you couldn't even do to you bitch yep you know it's just like okay well no i didn't get to you wouldn't want to no probably not but the the concept is if you meet someone for dinner unless they did something and make it make it obvious if someone pisses you off right right you know then you sit there and it'd be understandable if her and i had some kind of disagreement right i understand it but everything went well and so we thought if you were to go meet another couple even if they don't i don't all she had to do is shake my hand i didn't even get a handshake yeah i didn't even get the middle finger like hey fuck off fat boy yeah i mean even if they're not your cup of tea it doesn't hurt to give them a hug a handshake yeah you know something like that you're nice nice to meet you but i know um for some reason pardon me,'ve always i guess i don't know it's just like your cheek might it's almost like a cheek to cheek thing but you go yeah lips don't touch the lips don't touch you know it's just like your cheek might touch yeah i think like she does that to me but you could still put like the you know a thick book between me and her cheek like really it's like okay i'm i i don't need you to be my cup of tea i'm not looking to fuck you i'm not you know but it's just like okay i mean now there are women besides you that find me very attractive oh yeah there's a i mean even at work i get believe it or not for a small dick white boy jesus i get no my name's on jesus thank you um A lot of black women, today, I didn't get to tell you yet.

Oh, okay. I had a young black woman. I thought she was very cute. Right. Cute with a body on her. Had a little wild streak, had a nose piercing. Right, right. A ring, yeah. Yeah, her boyfriend had a lot of attitude. But kind of a little flirting going on there. She was really cute. I would have disappointed her. As you would so many women. No one would disappoint women like me. I'm telling you, it's a gift. I probably have made more women go lesbian than any other man has ever made happen. But anyway, so... I never went lesbian. You were there already. Bi's not lesbian. Oh, it is.

My door swings both ways. Okay. Anyway, but... She was a cute black girl. Like I told you the other day, there was a woman older than I am. She was in her 60s. She's like, oh, if you weren't married, I'd be all over you. My wife shares. Oh, I'd be all over you. My wife shares. Oh, I hear that all the time. My wife does share. I'll share with my wife if you're interested. I couldn't say that at work. Here's my phone call. Yeah, we've done that. That's another story. But I couldn't say that at work because the guys at work would be like, what? What? Oh, yeah, a couple would freak out.

Who would let anybody fuck their own wife oh my god what the fuck i'd i'd have to go there kill them it's like dude take a chill pill here's a quick off the topic but still in the swinging topic if you aren't already in swing if you're in swinging you'll understand this If you're not, here's a dirty little secret that's kind of cool. Okay. And you can expand on this. I know you're going to as soon as I say this. Okay, I don't know what you're even talking about yet.

If you're into the swinging lifestyle, in whatever realm, when you go to work around people that aren't in it and you have that dirty little secret. Like people say, you know, when I go into work, like, so what'd you do this weekend, Vince? I can't sit there and go, well, I've filmed my wife with three different guys. Cut the lawn. What'd you do? Cut the lawn. You know, like when you were working corporate America and you go into work on a Monday and they go, Hey, Donna, what'd you do? I got the lawn.

You know, like when you were working corporate America, and you'd go into work on a Monday, and they'd go, hey, Donna, what'd you do? It's like, ah. Let's say I had sex with eight different guys. What'd you do? That only happened once. Yeah, but still. Okay, four. It was, you know. Four is. Slower weekend. Slower weekend. It was like, same old shit. Yeah, housework, you know.

I was like slower weekend it was like uh same old shit yeah housework house housework you know it's like meanwhile i'm thinking jesus christ i got the bottom knocked out of me i was doing some construction a lot of screwing and banging screwing and banging i told you i was gonna make that construction company and call it Screw, Bang, and Nail. Screw, Bang, and Nail? Yeah. But, you know, so it's kind of cool having that little secret. That dirty little secret. It's like, oh. It's in your head. He's nothing special.

Like, again, you know, we've done some threesomes with another woman, and you sit there and go to work or something, and they're like, what did you do this you do this weekend it's like well my wife and this other beautiful woman were sucking my dick and then one sat on my face while i fucked the other and then they play switchies what'd you do bob yes seriously i took my kid to the playground and then i cut the lawn and then the wife and i had a nice dinner oh good, good. You want to see what I ate, motherfucker? Hey, and that's all good. No, what I'm saying, it's kind of an erotic secret.

It's one of the, I'll put it as a perk of swinging. Yeah, it's like a secret society in a way. Yeah. And it's like, and if people, there's certain terminology, too, that you know somebody who's in the lifestyle or you know that they're at least versed in the lifestyle of some sort in some way yeah especially if they refer to somebody as being vanilla you know it's like that's not it's like vanilla huh or if they just happen to maybe drop the yeah we're you know if They use, like, lifestyle terms or a lifestyle. It's like, that's not, it's like vanilla, huh?

Or if they just happen to maybe drop the, yeah, or, you know, if they use it like lifestyle terms or a lifestyle, it's like, hmm. Yeah. They don't have to use the word swing. Usually it's just, at least in this area. Usually if you're in, if you are a swinger, you just refer to it as a lifestyle. Lifestyle. Yeah. Yeah, but.

Or at least in the realm that we, in this in this region people we associate with yeah but that way i can't say what they do no i don't i don't know what they do in other places but you know i've heard people say yeah you know we're in the lifestyle and it's like oh oh i know what you mean well before we get to the next story oh yeah i don't think I have any more horror stories. I don't have to think about it. Thankfully, I mean, thankfully, there haven't been just those, you know, the Halloween one and then those people in the hot tub.

Yeah, there haven't been that many horror stories, thankfully. Like I said, we had more good experiences. We had a lot more good experiences. And you've learned how to vet people. That's really important. The vetting process is really important. I want to quick put out your... Tell them about your website that they can see, all the places they can see your stuff. Oh, okay. It's all one word. HotWifeDonnaLynn.com. There's all the links to all the different platforms I'm on. That's about it.

Well, there's Twitter, there's, you know, Pornhub and OnlyFans and all the other platforms that I indulge in. And again, I want to thank everyone. Our statistics on the podcast are growing. You said this last... Every week it grows. I'm flattered.

I don't know why anybody went to listen to us i don't listen to us and i don't i honestly i've never listened to one of our podcasts i have only is he hear mistakes and be like oh come on come on that's why i don't listen we can kick it up a little bit more i used to do the cigar podcast and i also hosted that adult network we had right i never once listened to a podcast you should Thank you. kick it up a little bit more. When I used to do the cigar podcast and I also hosted that adult network we had. Right. I never once listened to a podcast. You should. No. Why?

Because then you overthink it. No. It's not a matter of that. It's listening to it technical because you remember that friend of ours I listened to and he goes, you know that one, the one you're talking about me? Well that one's all garbled. And we're like, oh. Well that was a technical problem.

with a 600 investment it doesn't matter that's how you find out these technical faux pas yeah but if there's no technical faux pas then you overthink about when you listen to yourself yeah you should do because when i did the cigar podcast the other guys on the show would come to me and say like what they would hear of themselves like oh i have to change doing this i have to change it's like one of the things i think that hopefully people like about this podcast is you and i are sitting here at our kitchen table literally and literally we are just having a scut we don't even talk about this podcast other than i tell you what the subject is oh yeah because we don't we don't't have a script.

We have nothing. No, no. This is us being us. Yes, I agree with that. I don't know if that's good or bad, but okay. The only thing is, it's like we have told these stories before, so they're not new to us. No, no, something like... It's like, you know, because we've had... You don't need to go to the basement to dig out, no.

Yeah, there's other people we've talked to other, you know, it's like, oh, you won't't believe our experiences and here's our bad experiences but i mean in this in this case it's the whole you know the bad experience in this swinging realm but thankfully it's only been a handful of you know experiences that are less than optimal yeah um yeah it's been not as bad as it could be well i do i know everybody in the lifestyle has some bad experience well you've gotten a lot better at vetting people as i said before sure you know you can feel that we've had a couple that you that came and it's like dude you're not even fucking shaved you know are you in the swing lifestyle, dude?

I'm seeing a bigger trend of men going back to not shaving. I'm not a fan, can I just tell you. My mouth is down there. I want it shaved. Trimmed. A woman, I'm okay with a... Nose tickler. Yeah, a skid patch. Yep. but if that whole thing looks like a chihuahua or something coming out there, no, man. Long-haired chihuahua. You don't know how much you wash it. It tends to hold that pussy smell. It's just that pleasant. Yeah, it's just like... Oh, no, no.

Yeah, that one guy, Ifft, pfft, yeah go for it but yeah that's not i mean you don't have to be like shaved to the you know hilt i don't i don't mind a little bit of nubs you know sometimes it grows back and you can't shave every day because of you know what i thought of another experience oh what were you gonna say um no i'm just gonna i'm just gonna go on like you don't have to be shaved you know the whole grooming thing you don't be shaved to the hilt yeah but another experience wasn't necessarily bad for us i think it was bad for the other couple why there was a couple we met that became pretty obviously pretty obvious quickly that she was just taking one for the team and we're playing and she agreed to play with me Right.

I don't remember this. You'll know exactly right now. Oh, okay. It's going to be a little bit different. It's agreed to play with me. Right. I don't remember this. You'll know exactly right now. Oh, okay. It's going to hit you like a ton of bricks here. Okay, I'm going to hold on. So we're going to town. You know, Donna, you're playing with him, and I'm playing with her, and I'm making her come and come and scream and come, and he goes, she never comes like that for me. Oh, I'm going like that for me. Yes, I know exactly who you're talking about, exactly.

We were all, in fact, let me, if this is right, you'll correct me if I'm not right. We were in our old townhouse, in the living room, laying on the floor, floor and i'm with him and he looks up and and he says that she's never said that she's never come like that for me and i was like i don't know what to tell you dude i forgot all about that i didn't think she was taking one for the team i thought she was oh that's not right after that we found out they got divorced We're getting divorced. It's probably another subject, but we've had other couples.

The other couple with the Listerine strips, they got divorced as well. So I'm wondering, like, there's a lot of people that say, oh, you know, if you're in the lifestyle, you're just opening up the door to divorce. I think divorce is going to happen no matter what. It happens. Not because of swinging. I wouldn't think so. It can happen in swinging if one of the partners is taking it more important to them than it is to the other one.

If're putting swinging before their mate or and i i guess it's like you know another couple that he tries to make three dates a day oh yeah that's and he's got a beautiful wife yeah i think so but i don't know what his freaking problem well i know his problem is we're not gonna get into it um but you know he tries to make three fuck dates a day every day of the week. Now, he doesn't succeed. He wasn't. We haven't talked to him in years. We haven't talked to him in years. I don't need to, I don't want to. But anyway, but that's just a recipe for disaster. Yeah.

You know, your mate, if you're in the lifestyle, now, one of the things with don and i um we look at the lifestyle as having that special meal sure i mean more for content she is playing more but prior to that it was one of those things where again we know plenty of couples that they try to play as much as they can. It is literally playing notches on their bedpost.

It takes away the specialness of it, whereas I think when, like back when we were pretty much really, really active in this, and I'll use that term loosely, we might play once a month at one point yeah we try to keep it special yeah keep it special it's like if you ate filet mignon or lobster every night it's not special anymore so i agree with all of a sudden you know filet mignon becomes meatloaf it's like oh mom meatloaf again yeah you. So we found it to be a treat. Yeah. And it added to our relationship. I agree.

But when your goal is to get as many, quote, play dates a day or a week as you can, then you're striking your responsibility to your mate and you're striking your responsibility on other fronts as well. I mean, you still have a job to do, you still have other things to do, you still have bills to pay. You can't be playing three times a day unless you're a prostitute and he wasn't getting money from it. If he was getting money from it, I would have had more respect for him. Spending money between condoms and sexual aids.

All kinds of supplements oh my god that's for another day that is we do that a lot i should really type all this stuff down like supplements our experience in the sexual realm has been pretty advanced i guess and some of it's pretty dark oh i'm still in therapy for some of it but anyway um yeah so again that's our you know if you get in or are in the lifestyle and you feel playing is an important part um and you get divorced maybe you need to look at why were we playing so much with others and my mate maybe became less important it's not even the playing playing.

It's giving your mate attention. And that can be a multitude of things. It's not just sexual. It's not just sexual. Like we said, if the orgasm is the thing you're worried about, your mate cheating on you with someone else, there's more involved than just the sex. Yes, there's an underlying problem. Your significant other could leave you for somebody who's not as good sexually, but makes them happy. Yeah, because like we said before, you spend 99% of your time or 90% of your time outside the bedroom anyway. So you have to be able to talk to this person. You have to do more than just have sex.

I mean, sex is great. I'm not fond of that idea, but it's the truth. Listen to you. I just spent all day in bed. Honey, I'm home from work. Let's go fuck. Yay. Well. Just bring dinner into the bedroom. We'll eat it there. How many times have you, like how many weekends have you actually spent like in a motel room just doing nothing but fucking? Personally? Personally. Like I can't remember like the list. I mean I know I have. And it was exhausting. My first wife when we were still dating and stuff, again we were 20? 21? Oh yeah, you were that age. Yeah, but let's say after 25 Hang on. 20, 21.

Oh, yeah, you were that age. Yeah, but let's say after 25, hang on, that's wrong. Yeah, maybe 25, there was the one woman I dated, I worked with, we went down to the beach a couple times and left a hotel room only to eat. Yeah, yep. After 30, never.

after 30 uh never after 30 never wait wait yeah i i agree i'm willing to try it at this age yeah the sleeping would be great i think i did it when i was with like old boyfriends we rented a motel room and since you rent a motel room you better make it worth your while because at that time motel rooms were pricey that one woman I worked with I dated for a while we would get on the shore especially in the off season and there was nothing to nothing to do really everything's closed up so you go down and get the hotel room fucking eat fucking fuck okay let's quick shower let's go out and eat get done eating hit a bar go back fuck some more and fuck some more you know it's past dinner time let's go get some drinks get some drinks, get all horned up and go back and then we had to go home the next day because my balls would be sore absolutely the sad part is she was horrible at sex she's the one I told you she didn't perform oral at all she wouldn't even put her hand on me.

Like I would try to get her to, okay, if you're not going to suck my dick, jerk me off, she wouldn't do that. She had a big old hairy snap. But the thing is that I loved, I guess, one, she had a great ass. I love great asses. You have, let me rephrase that. Had.

You still have a great ass for a woman 60 how old are you 61 you have a phenomenal ass um but she was multi-orgasmic yeah that's cool now the problem was is this someone look like christy brink uh christy christy what's her name christy alley yeah um she would get so wet you could get traction so i could fuck her for over an hour because i'm like not getting any traction i mean she would get sopping wet i mean that's cool but yeah the friction i almost wanted to sprinkle cat litter in there you bring one of these like oil cloths wipe it up for your mopping she was so multi-orgasmic that like when we're driving to the shore we used to go to shore all the time and uh just driving i put my hand on top of her pants on top of her pants not panties not Not inside, on top of her jeans.

Right. And just rub her crotch on top of her jeans. She would.

put my hand on top of her pants not inside on top of her jeans right and just rub her crotch on top of her jeans she would come she would come i could rub her nipples while we're driving to sit there and just gently like on top of her shirt and bra and she would come and she would come nothing wrong with that that's that's cool i wonder why she really liked me she had more orgasms with me than apparently she claims then with with her husband oh no she's married now she's married now that wasn't married then well i know that but i mean she said after that well she her husband apparently um he's such a bad pussy eater she stopped him oh no and this happened shortly after they got together.

I actually didn't even marry yet. And she says, no, please don't like my pussy anymore. Oh, just train him. Just freaking train him. Well, her and I went out for lunch one day. And it was just a casual, friendly lunch. Right, right.

And she was telling me, she was like i gotta tell you she's you're probably the the last person that's ever gonna eat my pussy right she goes he tries and he does a horrible job he's either biting me or just doesn't do anything that makes me feel good so she goes home does she talk to him does she tell him like i don't know i'm not there i mean you have to have some natural ability i mean you have a very i have tried to emulate your technique on other women Thank you. I don't know. I'm not there. You have to have some natural ability. I mean, you have a very...

I have tried to emulate your technique on other women. I don't have the musculature in my tongue to do what you do. I like that hard flicking on my clit, but don't just stay on my clit. Also, go down to the hole and go back and forth. Like I do. Like you do. Tease. Tease and, yeah. So, communication. I don't think she was really going to say, hey, honey, can I bring Vince in to show you how to do it? She probably thought that, but she didn't do it. She was going to say that. That wouldn't be good.

But she could say, hey, you know, maybe you flicked your tongue more on my clit this way or that way. You know what cracks me up? Again, I don't go boasting what you and a few other women have claimed to be my talent. But when these guys who come to the first time you meet them or whatever, and they're like, oh, yeah, I'm great at licking pussy, I get my mouth shut because I don't know. They might be, you know. You never know. I don't claim to be the best. Just because they're good with one person doesn't mean they're going to be good with somebody else. Sure.

Well, I use you as my gauge, obviously. Right. And I could tell, like, when they're going down on you, Thank you. Well, I use you as my gauge, obviously. Right. And I could tell, like when they're going down on you, I could tell by listening to you and watching you whether they're as good as they think they are. They're not.

When I see, like if a guy is good, you basically, A, come pretty quickly, and B, at least stay there until they do if they're not good it's like they'll be doing it for a few minutes like oh baby i gotta ride your cock it's like okay he's that good well i'm not saying he's not that good i'm just saying in that instant as that time with that person with me and my mindset was not hitting the buttons. Have you ever said that to me? No. Okay, just checking. But usually there's a different environment, too. There's, you know, we're a little more relaxed, we're more comfortable with each other.

We've been married 18 years, good golly, day. I mean, we should be pretty comfortable. Thank God I'm going to swim world. 18 and a half years. Are you doing the 18 and a half now? Well, November 1st is our wedding anniversary. So that's November, December. It's two. We're already in the fourth month. Okay. Six months. That's called six months. I don't know. That moment you got had the wrong date on it. I don't know. I'm glad you don't make mistakes.

I'm glad i don't so anyway all right well we've bored you long enough it's almost been an hour okay so i'll um again i want to thank everyone for listening yes thank you so much hopefully we maybe informed you a little bit but hopefully more entertained you and we didn't make this shit up this is actually shit we've been through this is the shit we've been through every time we have a like I said very vast background in the adult playing area so maybe we ought to one of the next shows not necessarily the next one but one of the next ones talk about bachelor parties oh bachelor parties well I don't know about Thank you.

not necessarily the next one, but one of the next ones. Talk about bachelor parties. Oh, bachelor parties. Well, I don't know about that. We've got a lot of stories with that. Do we? Sure. I mean, I've danced at a lot of bachelor parties, but that's not anything else. No, the characters in it. Oh, definitely the characters. You can share it from a dancer's perspective. I can share it from a bouncer's perspective. Interesting. Yes, very interesting. But again share it from a bouncer's perspective. Interesting. Yes, very interesting. But again, we'll see where that fits in.

Yeah, that sounds good. All right, well, I want to say thank you all for listening. And this is Donalyn, and I'm signing off, and have a great night. We'll see you next time.