In this episode of the Hot Wife Podcast, the hosts discuss a listener's dilemma regarding jealousy in an open relationship. They explore the importance of communication, the emotional aspects of relationships, and the need to reassess connections when feelings of jealousy arise. The conversation emphasizes that intimacy goes beyond physical interactions and highlights the necessity of maintaining a strong emotional bond. The hosts provide practical advice for navigating these complex dynamics, encouraging listeners to prioritize their relationships and communicate openly with their partners.TakeawaysThe views expressed on this podcast are solely those of the host and guests.Jealousy can arise from emotional connections rather than just physical experiences.Communication is crucial in any relationship, especially in open ones.Taking a break from outside relationships can help refocus on the primary partnership.Intimacy is not solely about sex; it encompasses emotional connections as well.Establishing rules and boundaries is essential in open relationships.It's important to check in with your partner about feelings and concerns.Reassessing the relationship can help strengthen the bond between partners.Spontaneity in communication can enhance intimacy.Being honest about feelings can prevent misunderstandings and resentment.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/hot-wife-podcast-and-the-swinger-lifestyle--5343522/support. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Transcript
Speaker1: Welcome to the Hot Wife Podcast, where we dive into discussions about relationships, intimacy, and everything in between. Before we begin, we want to make it clear that the views expressed on this podcast are solely those of the host and guests, and should be taken as opinions, not professional or medical advice. Additionally, we remind all listeners that this podcast is intended for adults over the age of 18. unauthorized rebroadcast of this show is strictly prohibited without the written permission of the owners my hot white podcast of course i'm here of course with the brains behind the operation is brains. I know, I said that last time, too. I'm sorry. Why do you keep calling me dummy? Well, that's the other side of you, dear. What can I tell you? So we do have Joe joining us again today. Different topic today. Different topic. Hello, everybody. Yep, he would hang out and do it it again because he had fun with the first one. So we've got another one. And this time, well, do you want to do plugs in the info? Well, this show is based on someone sending us an email. Yep, so if you do want to send in an email, it's info at hotwifepodcast.com. Yeah. So thank you. So one of our listeners did run into it. Well, we're going to give him advice. He asked for advice. Yep. And we're going to share our pearls of wisdom. Pearls. So I will read you what he wrote. They're fake pearls. Yeah, but they're still. A pearl necklace is still a pearl necklace. What can I tell you? Okay. I'll give you that. Okay. Well, he says, good morning. Found you guys and listened to your podcast about jealousy in an open relationship this morning love the episode looking for some advice my wife and I have an open relationship per se and that we each have a member that joins us for threesomes so we play sexually together always but I have a girl I can text and flirt with on the side and she has a man for the same. Ironically, it's not the sexual experience that the other man may cause be jealousy, but I find myself so jealous about her texting, sending pictures, talking dirty, etc. Yes, I do get it that I get to do it as well. You can talk, you don't have to yell. Oh, same, sorry sorry and I find myself just wishing that these were more business transaction type of relationships instead of building a connection if that makes any sense okay so he goes on my wife loves the attention of another man and I love that she feels good about getting it but as competitive man in nature I want to give her all that attention and I want her to crave my attention like that, I guess. And during sex if we bring each other if we bring another male in in in for her pleasure that's fine i can see it's just something something enhancing our sexual experience but with the extra stuff i'm getting a physical sickness reaction and it's affecting my sleep. Am I crazy? Any advice? So this listener has a real dilemma and I get that. That's one thing we did talk about the whole, there's two episodes you kind of touched on these kind of things. There's probably more than two. The two that I can think of off the top of my head was intimacy is not sex and sex is not necessary intimacy the texting the flirting that is the intimate that's where you're gonna have that after you go over the line of just having a fuck buddy into somebody that you actually have feelings for right joe you were mentioned that earlier yeah right you went from friends with benefits to something more. So I get his dilemma. I get his frustration and discomfort with it. What do you guys think? I mean, my first question is, has he communicated that to her? Is she aware of his?
Speaker2:
No, there you go. Communication.
Speaker1:
Well, which is an important part. Or is he boiling up and ready to explode?
Speaker2:
Yeah.
Speaker1:
I mean, I wrote him back a brief email.
Speaker2:
Right.
Speaker1:
And I don't think I said, have you talked to her about it? But that should really be one of the first things. First, talk to her about it. But yeah, no, I went through this. I mentioned it off air that, you know, I went through it with my first wife. You know, she got big into texting and phone calling other guys and one guy in particular. And she wound up developing, wound up developing feelings for him. I'm not saying that's going to be this guy's situation, but potentially it could happen. You know, I mean, the first question is, you know, have you talked to her to make sure where you guys stand? Right, right. Make sure you're on the same page. I mean, I'm not an expert in any of this, but I have heard there's rules, right? You're a couple. When we swing, here's our rule, here's our hard rules. No, I get it, the fact of enjoying seeing your wife, having fun with others. I get that completely. We had one individual, one man, that started to express emotions for Donna. And, you know, Donna didn't express them back. And I kind of put a kibosh on it. I said, dude, that's not going to happen. Mm-mm. Nope, nope. That's the one that wanted to be my, he wanted to be a cuckold boyfriend or something. Oh, he had these, oh, oh my God. He thought he was going to come over here. He lives in the middle of the state, Pennsylvania. He wanted to come live with us and he'd just be our cuckold slave. And it's just like. How do you explain that to the neighbors? He's like, I'd be down there by the pool naked and I'd be your pool boy. And then I, you know, I'd'd wait on your hand and foot. I don't know. I don't live in that fantasy world. I can't. We don't live sex. No, I don't live sex. We know plenty of people who do. Yeah. They base their life around sex. Not that sex isn't great. I mean, what else makes you feel so good that's free? Exactly. You know, I mean.
Speaker2:
Like I said, it's a facet of what makes us all human,
Speaker1:
and I don't want any facet to be taken over,
Speaker2:
be more dominant than any other facet. Again, this is our opinion. Yeah. For us.
Speaker1:
For me, I just want to be well-rounded. For this gentleman, yeah, I mean, one of the things I told him is, like, maybe you need to take a couple-week break, take two weeks maybe a month no texting or calling and explains these people they don't think you're being rude right it's like hey we're just going to take a little break don't know no playing no texting no calling right and hopefully both of them adhere to can't, if someone can't adhere to it, then you might know someone might have a problem. That's true. You know, and it's not that they're taking a break from sex necessarily. It's taking a break of, of everybody else so they can concentrate on their own relationship and, you know, really get things back to where it needs to be before you start introducing other people. Because like we talked about before, you have to have a very strong relationship if you're swinging. And if it's getting kind of wobbly, you may have to, you know, kind of pull it back a little bit, regroup and be where it goes, you know, talk about things. It also could expose if one of you is starting to maybe have emotions, which jeopardize your relationship right and if if they deem their relationship not strong enough collectively then they need to act appropriately you know if you're gonna if it's not gonna work if someone is feeling something for somebody what you're still getting along and you feel that maybe you need to. It might be easier to end it while you're admirable towards each other. But hopefully you can work it out. Yeah, I mean, just because somebody's... Maybe check out polygamy. Yeah, maybe. Or polyamorous, whatever. Polyamorous, yeah, that's a whole other can of worms that I cannot attest to. if um i never yeah that the texting thing i never went overboard with it because i knew that if i was getting closer to my phone if i was too texting them too much that means i'm not paying attention to you and that would you know that would definitely make uh create a conflict for us so i understand that so i know you've expressed uh how your last relationship she had kind of ignored you and she was chatting and you know when it gets to that point then you know there's a problem like i i like the the light banter i mean you know from time to time joe might text me something i might text him back but it's not like you know day in day out right joe it's correct like it's like spontaneously thinking about you yeah sporadic and just like hey how you doing sweetie you know and it's but it's not like ongoing hang on a second i got a gun in my drawer stop it you know what i mean it's there's a certain amount of dirty talk and and sexting or texting is is fine very fun it's fun but like when you said if it gets up certain a certain threshold and i don't know what that threshold is because it depends on the partner, depends on the relationship that you're in, right? And then when it gets to that, then the other person is becoming uncomfortable. They feel insecure. They might feel, he says he's getting physically sick. So it is affecting him, and it's affecting him in a big way. It sounds like he is getting worried that the relationship. Yeah, emotions are being tied in there. Her relationship with this other individual is progressing. Yes. So I think he needs to have a nice heart-to-heart with his, I think he said wife. Yeah, whatever. Wife, girlfriend, both. Whatever. Yeah, exactly. But, and say, hey, this is making me feel uncomfortable. You know, you don't want to attack her because i know you don't want her becoming defensive you know what i'm saying so he i understand this gives you great pleasure but is making it's hurting me and he has to explain to her in a nice way that what your actions are are hurting me not you physically but your actions and what you're doing i feel you know i feel like you're not giving me enough attention i don't feel like you're um i i feel like you're in the relationship well you know and that those kind of things well i've i've said to you um you know i i know and i like it when someone like jones sits there and tells you you're sexy or whatever it makes you feel good that's great but i also know within reason when i tell you you're sex or something, and it makes you feel good. That's great. But I also know, within reason, when I tell you you're sexy or something, it means something to you. If I tell you and it's just like, yeah, whatever, you know, but then someone like Joe says it.
Speaker3:
Right, right.
Speaker1:
You know, I have to start digging a hole. We'll get some lime in the backyard. You know, invite Joe over and say, come out in the backyard. We'll show you a hole I dug. That's funny. It's six foot by three foot. But you're taller that. I already have seven foot by three foot. This Lyme helps fight cancer. I know you say you don't have it, but let's just put it on your body anyway. It's a new spa treatment. Yeah. So, but no, it's, you know, it's again, our opinion. our opinion right doesn't mean anything no you know telling you our opinion i'm glad you asked for it but um yeah no i think you you need to spend some time going back to basics i agree you know uh do your own date nights not inviting anyone else that's a good that's a good idea. You know. But maybe she is unaware of it, right? If he hasn't communicated, maybe she should. Oh, yeah. Maybe she's just oblivious to it. You know what I'm saying? She doesn't think it's hurting him. She's not meaning any harm. It's just, well, she's just getting caught up. How about the fact that maybe she's actually jealous of him doing this with another woman. Sure. So she's putting more effort into protecting herself by getting attention from another man oh boy you just put another kibosh one yeah i that's that's very true there's another wrinkle to get out of the penis so to speak yeah we don't know but until you talk to them and communicate there's it could be any number of things and so you nail it down and somebody says like this is what I'm doing, this is how I feel and somebody responds to it and that's what I'm saying, maybe put the brakes on everything go back to the basics of the two of you you know the date night does sound good maybe here's another potential option she needs both of them need to take a break from the current playmates and go find
Speaker2:
Thank you. maybe here's another potential option. She needs it, you know,
Speaker1:
both of them need to take a break from the current playmates and go find different playmates.
Speaker2:
Oh,
Speaker1:
I think to try to establish like,
Speaker2:
okay,
Speaker1:
she's got a real, she's got a real fetish for this one individual. And I'm not, I'm just mentioning her. I'm not picking on her.
Speaker2:
Right.
Speaker1:
And find out,
Speaker2:
you know,
Speaker1:
is it, she just wants attention where she's liking attention from this one individual that's true great point yeah a lot of unknowns there well yeah you know but i mean um yeah i'm not a jealous person but so i it's hard for me to tell someone like to suck it up and walk it off yeah that's not very helpful no it's not but i mean i personally go on the premise because what i've been through my life it's like okay if for whatever reason you sat there and said you know i we're done it's like okay i'd be heartbroken right okay you know it's you know i i don't want you to be unhappy but i expect you to be truthful with oh i'm not going to say that no i could not be happier dear yes i see you crossing your fingers there's another 20 bucks i wear but no i mean yeah you need to be honest with each other about your feelings um and if something's going on in your relationship and this goes for both of them you need to be honest with the other one you got to sit down you know and and you don't need to fight over it just have a discussion i mean people change you know i had a discussion with a friend of ours who's was going through stuff i said hey the person you are at 20 is not the discussion i mean people change you know i had a discussion with a friend of ours who's was going through stuff i said hey the person you are at 20 is not the person you are at 25 not the person you are at 30 35 40 we change constantly not always in the same direction as our mate you know so you you know it's great if that gap you know when you get married to say at 20 if if you're 95% compatible, it's nice you can keep that 5% gap. But it tends to be, you know, who you are at 20 and who you are at 40, all of a sudden now there's a 40% gap, you know, and you spend more time with a person outside the bedroom than you do in the bedroom. And I just would like to change that. True. That's true. So, you know, I just had this discussion with a friend yesterday who's, you know, and I said, you know, she's, you know, the person she got involved with that she thought had a magic cock and all this stuff. And now, you know, in our discussion yesterday, she was telling me she's not overly happy and she might be moving back to our area and she doesn't want him to move back. And I said, well, you know, I understand that. You know, but, and I said to her, I said, you can't base your relationship on, you know, sex. You know, it's like, wow, he made me cum so good. Well, that's great. You know, I'll go buy you a Hitachi. That'll do the same fucking thing, you know? And we've always said you cannot base a relationship on orgasm because once the orgasm dissipates, what do you have? You're not sitting across the table at dinner for an orgasm. Exactly. An orgasm isn't going to, you know, hold your hand or let you cry on his shoulder. Help you when you're sick. Help you when you're sick.
Speaker2:
So,
Speaker1:
I hate to be unsexy, but it's true. It's more to it than just an orgasm. If this is the woman that's been on your show before, I'm a big fan.
Speaker2:
Yeah,
Speaker1:
it is.
Speaker2:
Yes. Yeah.
Speaker1:
So, but, yeah, it's, I mean, you can attest to this, Joe, with your history. You know, the person you married 25 years ago and the person she is today are not the same person. Correct. In various ways. Sure. Okay. Okay. Um, and you know, and like I told both my daughters, when you find someone you want to marry, make sure you're as humanly a hundred percent compatible as you can. Like I said, because it's gonna great advice. Yeah. Unfortunately it will strike. Now we have a very weird relationship, Vince. Do you think? Do you think? I think we've actually gotten even more compatible since you've got the 3D printer. We are getting you help. Yeah, it's like everything we're doing, we can't see each other. He works down here, I'm up there, and we call each other in the intercom, or I'll come down like, hey, what's your job doing? What's going on? It's fun fun even though we should be like on each other's nerves but it's just it's just working it's and both of us are doing creative things so you're doing really cool creative things i'm doing creative things so it's it's of interest to me so i i think collectively we just um engulfed ourselves into stuff we already were doing and we're sharing them now so it's kind of i'm going to be learning the 3d printing you're going to be learning what i do it's it's going to be fun yeah so you have fun outside the bedroom so that's that is a good thing i'm really thankful for that well i mean um yeah our relationship in so many ways is so unique but um that's not going to help no this gentleman but um yeah, I mean, I guess to sum it up, I think you need to go have a heart-to-heart. You need to kind of put all playing on the back burner for a little bit.
Speaker2:
I agree.
Speaker1:
You know, reestablish your relationship.
Speaker2:
Right. Yep.
Speaker1:
All back in love. You might love her, but are you in love? That's very good. That's sound advice, all of that whole sequence.
Speaker2:
Excellent.
Speaker1:
Thank you. All back in love. You might love her, but are you in love? That's very good. That's sound advice, all of that whole sequence. Excellent. Yeah. Because you need to be in love. Yeah, I agree. I mean, like when Donna plays or whatever I play with somebody else, afterwards, you know, we go shower and de-louse. De-louse, I know. I love that word. And then we get together and we play, and it's so erotic. It actually supercharges our sexual relationship. Right. Because, again, I know it was just, it's like going out for a great meal. It doesn't mean that's the only meal you're going to want to eat, you know. So, you know, we're both excited. I i was excited watching her or who i played with and she was excited about who she played with or whatever um and so it added to our relationship it doesn't need to subtract i agree it is an enhancement it just adds that spice but just to circle back if i was texting like a certain playmate too much i know either one of us would call the other on it like if you were texting somebody too much and i don't i back in the day like when we were shooting a lot you um you were texting a lot of different people like they were all contact yeah contact that way the thing is i know you you hate texting i do i do i hate texting i'd rather talk on the phone me too and um that's so you know Thank you. that content for that way the thing is i know you you hate texting i do i do i hate texting i'd rather talk on the phone me too and um that's so funny is that it i know she texts but again you know she might do it for five ten minutes and then that's it you know yeah it gets it it's it's fun for a little bit but then it becomes too cumbersome for me one of the other things i thought of for this gentleman was that, like he says, his wife sends pictures. Okay, how many times, and we did a show about this early on. Yes. I think it was called Send Me a Pick. Was, how many times have I asked you in the past, like, hey, send me a pic? She's like, you've got millions of photos of me you've taken. I'm like, no, that's not the same.
Speaker3:
When someone takes a picture. In the moment.
Speaker1:
When your significant other takes a picture of themselves and sends it to you at that moment, yeah. It lets you know that they find you attractive, erotic, we're thinking of you. Right, I agree. You know, it doesn't have to be, you know, professional quality. It doesn't even have to be a naked picture. Preferred. I know. You know, but again, that whole aspect of, you know, hey. Spontaneity. Even if it's something like, you know, maybe this would be corny, I don't know. Take a picture of a cup of coffee. It's like, oh, I wish you were sitting here with me having one those kind of things actually do mean a lot okay go a long way you know just let the other person know that you're thinking about them you care about them you miss them or whatever you know send her a picture of your heart on say hey listen one cock waiting for you that's all you know she'll get the hint she'll get the. You know? She sends back a picture of her mouth to dust her teeth. You go, whoa, never mind. She's in a bad mood. Never mind. Or butcher knife. Butcher knife, a cutting board, a ring below any cutting hands. Never mind. I guess we're headed to divorce. But yeah. Yeah. That would be a good one to send back. Thinking of you, dear. Yeah, yeah. Waiting for later. Oh, shit, I'm not going home. But no, so we'll wrap it up with that. Yeah, we'll wrap it up with on your relationship and then make, you know, learn to reinduce it, reintroduce it. So I know it was your show, but I did 90% of the talking, but. No, no, you didn't. No, you're fine. It was good advice. It was really good. It brought up some things. Communication was one of like, oh shit, that's number one. But yeah. So thanks, hon. Well, communication is the biggest part of swinging really is my life. Yeah. And life. Yeah. Any relationship. So you have a certainly relationships for sure. Then I think that's, if you don't have that, you don't have a whole lot. So. All right. Well, with that and thanks joe again for sitting here joe appreciate it cheers all right everyone stay horny have a good night
