We revisit the idea of how to find your tribe and discuss what if you don t want one! This was a fun conversation with some good insight from the Suite Talkers. We weigh the pros and cons of being an unaffiliated swinger and decide if that s what we are. Let us know where you think you fit.As always, thanks for listening!Support the people who support this show:Shameless Care (promo code: SUITELIFE)Expansive Connection!Foambusters.com!Be sure to , RATE, REVIEW! We appreciate any and all feedback!Check out our show and MANY others on FullSwapRadio!How to stay in-touch with us:Email: thesuitelifepodcast@gmail.comFollow us here for info on upcoming LIVE episodes:Instagram: @thesuitelifepodcastTwitter: @suitelifepodFacebook: Livin the Suite Life (Tryst Loq Suitelife)Don t forget to to the Livin the Suite Life Podcast YouTube Channel!
Transcript
Living the Sweet Life is a podcast intended for mature audiences only. We'll be using sexually explicit language while discussing many different adult themes. So if you're under the age of 18, please stop listening. Also, please know that our thoughts and opinions should not be taken as professional advice. We're here to answer your questions about the swinger lifestyle from newbies to longtime swingers.
Or if you're just curious, we hope to engage you all and to encourage a sex positive discussion. Now that we've got that out of the way, make yourself comfortable for joining us in this episode of living the sweet life she is my beautiful sexy co-host and wife the lovely trist and he is my sexy chocolate husband la and y'all tis the season isn't it yes tis the season we isn't it? Yes. Tis the season. We are freezing our asses off here in the DMV.
We just trying to maintain, trying to stay warm, rubbing our feet together whenever we get the opportunity. Right, Trish? Rubbing your feet together. Yeah, man. Trying to rub my feet together underneath the blanket. We haven't even had like our customary hot chocolate yet. Not yet. Not yet. It's too early. Hot chocolate with Bailey's. But it's been cold, though. We'll be right back.
feet together underneath the blanket we haven't even had like our customary hot chocolate yet not yet not yet it's still early hot chocolate with baileys but it's been cold though we deserve it it has been cold this well not even this week it was earlier last week last week this week well no you're right you're right this week it was warm it was yeah that's right that's right i mean it was still cold but it was not freezing freezing we got sweet talkers chiming in already we got the lovely red and reddies what is up people they said hi come down here where it's warm oh i'm sure it is nice and toasty where y'all are i know and uh i'm sure we make it warmer you know he gotta throw that in there hey what's happening to another sweet talker what's good what's good thank y'all for coming to join us on this special night listen man life be lifing and this was our only time to be able to do this i know we are competing with that monday night simpsons football thing but i got uh i got belief in what we're offering is going to be better than that so listen let's go ahead and get into some of the housekeeping this is the biggest thing man this is the biggest thing we wanted to talk about was that heaven in hell party at taboo social club we are going to be co-hosting with mickey and mallory of the casual swinger podcast and the casual swinger uh casual swinger week at hedonism the one in the same this couple is amazing this is going to be january 18th 2025 now listen that's right after them holidays yes right in the dog days of winter y'all y'all ready to shake off all the goodness and wholesomeness of christmas and new years and all this sweet stuff that's.
Come on out to Taboo Social Club and start the year off dirty and naughty and bad in heaven and hell. We're going to be battling all the forces battling in one building. Yeah, it's going to be a good party. It is. It's going to be a fantastic party. We cannot wait to bring in.
This is going to be our first party of the year babe it is it's the very first party this is gonna set the tone for 2025 i really hope so you know what i'm saying and we're gonna have to set it off right because we got people coming in town that's right we got some folks flying in flying in to come and kick it you know and i know the casual swinger crew is going to be there all the well not all but some of the folks from the trip i know they're going to come and hang out with mickey and mallard they're going to come out and hang out with this beautiful lady tris and maybe one or two might come and kick it with me i don't know i'm sure they will i hope so i hope so but no seriously y, check out the website, January 18th, 2025, Taboo Social Club in Catonsville, Maryland.
Come and hang out with us. Come and have a drink with us. Come and say hello. And y'all do that. Y'all always take us up on that offer. And for that, we are really appreciative. You guys always come out and y'all always show support. Let's make this the same, man.
Show them how y'all do it, Sweet it sweet talkers absolutely now for any sweet talkers who might be interested in joining us live in the sweet man all you got to do is go over to youtube hit the subscribe button hit the like button hit the notification bell and you will be notified whenever we go live um y'all can always check out our instagram page at the sweet life Podcast and, you know, follow us there. And y'all see these wonderful clips that Trish is taking right now, these live clips.
And y'all know when we're going live and come and kick it with us, hang out and y'all can check out the link. And what is it called, babe? Linktree. And the Linktree. Yes. It's always updated in the Linktree when we're about to go live with the link for that day. That's right. So come on through. Leave some comments. Let us know what's on your mind and how you feel about the topics. You know, and let us know if you have any topics. You know, people haven't done that in a while.
They'll give us feedback on the actual episodes, but they haven't left. Like if there's a topic that you want to bring to the show to talk about.
Yeah, always down for a sweet talker topic i like that say that five times fast but without further ado my people my people y'all know what it is before we get into all the deep conversation and the shenanigans i gotta check in with this beautiful partner of mine my queen beautiful how you feeling oh no wait a minute we decided already yes we is yeah we were going to do something a little different tonight on three you ready one two three how we feeling that's right how we feeling and i think i can speak for both of us while you type that up i'm a filibuster we are feeling exhausted yeah we are feeling competitive because ladies and gentlemen we have a countdown going with uh some of our friends um for a party bus a christmas party bus nah you would think that it's just a sexy little chat and everybody's kind of flirting and showing you know titty tuesday and hump day wednesday thursday party i'm saying all the freaky friday or flashback friday monocram monday whatever nah nah this shit is on steroids we are in competitive and i'm saying we i don't mean just we nah all everyone we don't make no goddamn sense so competitive tell them what the competition is tris so the competition is that we have a friend that really really likes christmas so they they're doing a christmas bus party and inviting some of their friends right from their different groups actually this is good for the topic right for tonight perfect inviting friends from their different group friend circles uh to the party bus it was supposed to be nice and friendly right we we did it last year and um this particular time and at the late ending i'm talking about a second 10 days before 10 days before the trip uh the the party sorry the party right 10 days before the party our friend says hey look let's just make it fun and spice things up essentially yes we should play a game instead of we can't do 12 days before christmas because we're only 10 days out we should do 10 days before christmas and every day and every day you must submit a video for that whatever part of that part of that song of whatever the 12 days of christmas and then but you had to be in the video you had to also say the words sing the song right for that whatever it was that day right points based and you get points based on your location creativity etc I'm like cool I got this in a bag right creativity we good to go so we think so this thing goes on for like a couple of days at that point right and then my friend just keeps at living adding more shit basically to it bonus points oh you can get a bonus points if you submit by midnight tonight yes if you answer this by 12 p.m it's like random things that can happen during the day so as if i don't have a life you're literally glued to your phone because you're trying to get these bonus points so that you can be get ahead of someone as if the creativity part and trying to think through what your video is going to be for that day is not enough no it definitely isn't it definitely isn't it um we we fancy ourselves content creators creative minds but man this group of people they man look i'm gonna tell you my videos is great videos are pretty fucking good listen but there are others others some some are really solid yes like i'm talking what did i say like art house uh you know film study they're kicking they're kicking ass yes people are coming up with some very creative ideas yeah in this group and it's becoming very very competitive yeah some sexy not as sexy as you think though no you know the whole thing hasn't been like super sick you think a whole bunch of lifestyles would just be you know on a day of christmas you know but it's not it's not everybody's good kind of like we're really really thinking through it yeah trying to post the most things and now it's to the point where i'm keeping track of all the rules right and my friend said i'm salty because i didn't gain 32 36 points for one of the challenges because i missed it i didn't see it right so now i gotta play catch up and i'm waiting for the next bonus challenge and she's trying to change the rules during like we're in seven days in.
And she's trying to say, oh, but I submitted a group video that was not part of the rules. All right, Trish. All right. All right. Can y'all tell somebody salty? We got sweet talkers chiming in. Somebody said, y'all are more important and entertaining than the football game. Well, listen, they tried. They pulling out the Simpsons. We can't compete with that shit, you know. But, no, appreciate that. And what else do you say?
How do you come back to the swing of things after having these big, back, hungry kids? Yes. I'm telling you. Yes, this is all facts. Oh, man. All right. So that's how we feeling. so that's how my grape is with my friends right now yeah you're upset with them so let's get to it i'm not upset i'm just all right tris are are you now ready to get into tonight's episode yes i am and i have my phone right beside me so don't be trying to do nothing because you think we're doing a show. It's right here.
You missing your lines. Because they be cheating. Trist. Okay. Are you ready to get into tonight's episode? Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's go. Thank y'all for hanging in there with us for episode 107. Listen, we're talking about finding, possibly, finding your tribe, your crew, the less palpable word, your click, taboo, and a new word that one of our friends dropped on us during a conversation, being unaffiliated, unaffiliated.
Before we get into the rest of it, let's kind of talk about what that means as it relates to the context of this discussion what do you think that means being unaffiliated tris i mean it's pretty self-explanatory but let's let's break it down for the people it could be that you just jump in between different groups yeah you're not really it's it's that's not your crew that you do go out nobody can really pinpoint you say that's your crew you go out with them all the time i think that's a good way to go out with many different groups yeah i think that's a great way of saying it nobody can pinpoint who you are actually uh what group you're actually like a part of correct and i'm not saying like these groups have like code names and shit like that right But, you know, a lot of people do you look for a comfort zone a crew a tribe your little your bubble that's another good word yes a bubble like we had a bubble during covid yeah it was like our safe space um that bubble has since burst but went in different directions they it's like the people in that bubble kind of went and started other little bubbles which kind of leaves us as unaffiliated right we're kind of unaffiliated but let's backtrack a couple of a couple 13 14 years ago so we've been very fortunate in this lifestyle game right we live in a major metropolitan area that offers a lot of lifestyle options if you're willing to just drive and travel a little bit that's stay kind of open to ideas right so right now as it stands we got taboo we got friction parties which are like hotel takeovers we got the private affair that's way up in another part of maryland I'll see you next time.
Right now, as it stands, we got Taboo, we got Friction Parties, which are like hotel takeovers. We got the Private Affair. That's way up in another part of Maryland. We had Synergy, another hotel takeover group. And we had a club, loosely termed anyway, called Entrenue, which was another social gathering of sorts.
We got the Fetish year we got the crucible if you're into like bdsm stuff those are both located in dc plenty of ways to meet people we're very lucky we were very lucky still very lucky right we can go and try something new every weekend if we want it so we went to the club a few times we met the right people then boom friends and then from friends you got friends of friends and you know it just goes on and on people introducing you to other people and now you're starting to develop a circle that's kind of how we did it we got very lucky anything to add there no that's true that's that's exactly how it happened but how right but how how do how do you even get started if you don't have access to everything that we have access to you do have access to a lot of things but let's get started on some of the how first before we get into like the pros and cons of being in a tribe crew and unaffiliated because there are some cons to that as well number one you want to write you want to read down babe um number one is create a profile or something online yeah right and these days there could be there's a lot of different ways a lot of there's a lot more options out there than it was when we first started uh but you know some people have the uh the cdc uh i mean i'm sorry sdc you name it healthcare services you don't want that they were like you want a what a lifestyle right come with me ma'am the sdc sls yes cassidy casuals also working on a site as well um but you have a few things out there is the point right um and and some people also are meeting others on regular dating apps yeah as well so there's just a lot more out there than it used to be um field field Yeah, that was one that was popular at one point in time.
And also Sweet Talkers chime in as well to let us know, like, how you're actually meeting people or how you start with meeting people anyway. Right. But there's just some of the things that people are doing to kind of, like, get started to meet people, right? To kind of dip your toe in the water.
I think that this is like a low risk way to kind of like get started get started to meet people right to kind of dip your toe in the water i think that this is like a low risk way to kind of get a feel for what's out there to kind of get a flavor of what you might be into how people respond to what you're putting down it's a low risk kind of way because you don't have to meet anybody you don't have to take it past a virtual conversation but if you chose to that's an in and they're you know that's like a an early seed of like um what's that one yes we talk it says throwback uh aol groups oh shit yeah right and a little kick yeah but that's kind of how it goes though like if you take some of these apps um or websites sls sdc you can find like events tabs and we'll get to events and things uh throughout the list but opening you know starting a profile will give you an opportunity to peek your head in quote-unquote doors peek your head in like virtual doors to kind of see what's out there it might be scary it might be a bunch of dick pics or it might be you know uh couples that only flaunt the woman you know shit like that you'll be able to weed through it to find out what your vibe might be yep and sweet talker number one hey girl says that fat life is a good one especially if you're looking for local bsm events that is you know i forget about that one i have like a profile that i'd never finished but yes i need to do that one i did like it it i was just like i think i was busy at the time doing something else but i need to get back on there and then says that uh oh i'm sorry oh sorry help ig is a good resource as well yeah ig can be a good resource um you set up that backup profile set up that lock and trist profile yes and just let it fly you can find all sorts of cool friends on that but you know you use your own discretion you figure out where people are what they're talking about you can find local events you can not everything has to be like swinger but it you can find like you know meet and greets meet and greets very low touch yeah it really are literally especially when they're like restaurants like in open space hell yeah uh red and ready chimes and it says telegram where we chat with local lifestyle community um yeah we like to take people over to telegram um one for the security measures of it it's like encrypted uh you got a lot of options as far as like deleting your past conversations deleting like pictures and stuff like that it's a lot of flexibility with telegram i'm not advertising for them i'm just saying that's that's like a preference of ours um and you can start a ton of different groups.
I know people, some podcasters use Telegram or for like their private chats. Once you like a Patreon or whatever, you get access to like their groups and stuff like that. But no, yes, different little communities like that. Definitely great ways to like dip your toes in to building your own community.
Number yes and just one more thing about telegram and i know we're gonna get into this later on but i like telegram to join different groups together when i need to have i need to have everybody in the conversation instead of it being i need to create this text message trying to figure out everybody's to put in i can just go to Telegram, create a group. We'll put everybody in it. We can talk back and forth. We good to go. That's how that daggone stupid party thing started. Trist, focus.
Number two, visit your local or maybe not so local lifestyle club. Seems easy.
seems like duh lock you know what i mean yeah but it definitely depends on what you might be looking for because some people don't like to play where they sleep you know what i mean we've heard that yeah some people don't like to play in their neighborhood so this might require a little bit of travel this might require a little bit of effort you might have to lay down some dollars to go make some friends yeah but the thing is you don't have to do anything that you don't want to do at a club you it's okay to go to a club and make a friend and just exchange a number exchange some contact information right right it goes as far at or yeah, it goes as as you wanted to go yeah um so i think that's a good way and that's kind of how we got started oh let me just back up to the online thing that's how we met some of our best friends yes mr dependable and paradise we met them online and that sprung into uh different friend groups and when they started making friends they introduced us to those friends and you know vice versa yes you know what i mean um but again the same thing when you go to like your local lifestyle club play is not required to make a meaningful connection i think that's like the most important thing that i would tell any rookie any newbie i don't tell that to anyone that's what i'm saying right like play is not required to have a good damn time no yeah so trist and my sweet talkers when you go to like a lifestyle club with the intention of just making friends or meeting new people do you prefer to go on a big night like a new year's's or Valentine's or Halloween or a sneaker ball?
Quick plug. Or would you like to go on like kind of like an off night, you know, and there's no shade to off nights. It's just like, you know, sometimes the club isn't quite jumping on a Friday night as opposed to like a Saturday night. I prefer an off night. You prefer an off night. Why? Because I feel like it's easier to actually have a conversation. It's not as many distractions. Yeah. Like when it's full and there's a lot of people, there's a lot of distractions. I agree. I agree.
I prefer an off night because you kind of feel like you got the place to yourself. Like there's nothing off limits like you can go inside and dance and kind of have the dance floor, the run of the dance floor. Or you can hang out at the bar and have a good conversation without screaming your fucking head off. Yes. You know, you don't have to wait in line for drinks.
Everybody, you know, you know we get our drinks pretty quick you know it's just an off night and grab a seat grab a seat and we can chill we can talk and we get to know each other you know what i mean we haven't done that in a while but there's so much value in that yeah you know going on like an off night what do y'all think sweet talkers let us know number three uh take a shot on the takeover right sometimes you gotta just take a shot gotta pull the trigger yes and a takeover can mean like a club takeover like heaven and hell uh january 18th 2025 with casual swinger coming in town catonsville m, Maryland, Taboo Social Club, a hotel takeover, something like a Libertine event.
Those are awesome. Or an entire resort like Casual Swinger Week. And you know. But there's so many.
There's so many things that you can right to get you to like put your feet in the water and see how um it goes and and again even for the events if we if we want to say like newer events uh for you brought up libertine events we've met newer friends from libertine events yeah like we we literally met a couple that's on here uh for um at a libertine event right that we have now had a friendship with for what yeah three years something like that something like that and we got friends from other libertine events that we're going to kick it with in a couple of months yes yeah so the point is we're talking about creating your circle your bubble right we're naming all of these different like ways to make friends but what the key is is finding those friends and making those connections with other friends connecting your friend group to to create your bubble to create your your group because you're going to find that you like a lot of the same people kind of right people that have some similarities you like the same vibe people that give you those warm and fuzzies and at some point you're going to say i want to bring these people together that's how how i feel i don't know is that how you feel tris i think so when it comes to certain groups it depends on the person i'm that right i'm very very um protective i am protective yes but i'm also intentional when it comes to my friends and and having them get, right?
Because I do consider, are they going to vibe together, right? I'm very considerate when it comes to that part. Are you going to vibe together or is this going to be a problem? Because I like somebody doesn't mean it's going to work for my other friend that we're friends.
But that doesn't mean that this person that I friends with you two are going to vibe that's a hundred percent that's what i mean by that yeah right so i'm very protective of that in a way um to be considerate um because nothing's worse than putting people into a room not necessarily play right but like at a dinner at a brunch at a at a thing and you see people kind of feeling isolated or left out or just not really clicking or you know you know someone has you know crass humor that might offend another friend correct you know what i'm saying so you kind of got to watch those things and take that stuff into consideration so no i get that tris i definitely get that yep unless it's a wedding yeah like there's no reason to do it so we're talking number one says uh big nights tend to have that click vibe i prefer off nights yeah let's talk about clicks then yeah i agree with that so we're talking about building a tribe though, right?
We're trying to build a group of friends that we can rely on, that we can call on to say, hey, let's kick it tonight. What are y'all doing tonight? What are y'all doing? Or, you know, you might have a friend in that group you might even be interested in playing with, right? You might play with that couple or you might play with the other couple.
But, y'all, this this is your safe space what happens when that group or let's just call it you know uh six people right three couples when that group goes out into the world together and it presents as what sweet talking number one called a click what what is that vibe what's a click vibe babe i think a click vibe is when we talked about this before um when mickey actually bought it up when we was in jamaica it's having a closed circle right right when you have a closed circle it becomes more of like a click yeah you can still have a group of six people but if you open that up and you're inviting other people in right to that circle then it no longer becomes a club right yeah meaning that everybody in the group is trying to interact with other people as well and not just with each other and making people feel welcome yeah making people feel welcome or bringing more people into the circle you know sure you have your comfort zone you got your spot you got you know people that you got your sand right you brought your sand to the beach you know you know you're gonna have a good time but then you don't owe this to anyone i'm just saying if you wanted to open that circle up and you know make people feel like more at you know more comfortable or just just being open and friendly and not closing the circle I think that's the best way to put it yeah just so people might feel compelled to like approach you and just say hello and you know because maybe I'm a newbie and you guys look like y'all got it together you know but I want to ask you a question about the club but I'm nervous because everybody's back is turned correct so I don't know um yeah i agree with that it can be a little clickish and i think that's exactly what a little click vibe is that close back um so yeah going to like a resort or something like that some kind of takeover you're gonna find lots of people lots of options you might find a couple people who are into the same shit you into yeah that's what's what you did.
And you actually learned some stuff that you were into. Yes. Going to a Libertine event. That's correct. Yeah. I don't deny it. What were you into? What did you learn? What? About the Libertine events? Yeah. What did you learn that you were into at a Libertine event that somebody can check out a previous episode? BDSM. Yeah.
I know what you were trying know but i was you gotta be talking to a listener yes it was the first time it was bdsm i thought you was trying to bait me in i was no you don't have to tell a whole story because we ain't got time for you to get all sweaty no we don't i got a show to do people i'm just saying let the people, you know, you got that BDSM experience at one of these events. Libertine events, that's correct.
And not even got the experience, but the idea was planted, meeting someone at an event. That is correct. Who is now chiming in with a high heel and a fire emoji. That is correct. That's exactly what happened. Yeah. I got a bone to pick with y'all, too.
Y'all out of town this weekend huh y'all thought y'all thought i wasn't gonna find out y'all know i'm going on that airplane i'm gonna meet y'all down there just ain't put me in your life yeah i'm coming i'm coming i wish no uh let's see what else we got tris uh number four say yes every now and then with discretion just say yes every now and then right sometimes you're gonna get invited now you got your bubble coming you got friends you got contacts you got connections the things are kind of coming together for you your phone might be you might be in one telegram group you might get little pings on cassidy every now and then you might see little events your partner might be like hey tris i'm just saying though what's up with this thing on Thursday night?
A happy hour, a meet and greet. Say yes every now and then. That's going to give you more opportunities to meet people and to make those connections. Right? And meet people outside of the people that you were originally hanging out with. You're growing that bubble. Because you can start growing it. That's right. You're growing that bubble, man. And then last one, number five.
You you want to hit that one i was going to say that try hosting something right because eventually you got to feed the well right you have to feed the well back i love that if you're a friend in the group it's just constantly inviting you to stuff at some point you then have to put your big girl or big boy panties on i don't wear panties oh well not knocking those okay well you know what i mean yeah you gotta just start inviting people to something else and it doesn't have to be anything big it just be let's go to brunch together or let's go to i don't know top golf together and invite a couple of the friends who you have met before so then you're also giving back to the well it's not them always inviting you to something right yes shit i couldn't i couldn't agree more couldn't agree more and you know um no don't have to be a fucking orgy no it does not have to be an orgy it doesn't have to be any sex involved not immediately right but yes it doesn't have to be any sex involved correct you hit all the all the you hit the nail on the head yeah um so you can invite a friend and tell that friend to invite a friend that's correct and then so on and so on and now you got yourself a nice little small event close it off at a few couples you got yourself a small event and you can see if it fits that's correct if it works again low risk probably a little bit more risk than you know creating a an online profile but still it's a way to find out about people and see how you build that thing up and you're going to end up building trust and next thing you know they're going to be coming over kicking it with your kids yes we know multiple people including us including our asses yeah that's right that's right so here we go let's get to the pros and cons of both dynamics having the tribe and being unaffiliated okay you know what i'm saying one you ain't gotta have no tattoos for being unaffiliated because if you if you were part of a tribe they're gonna give you the tattoo on the back of your neck oh my gosh y'all didn't know that part yeah yeah they don't tell you that shit uh-huh that you see with the lifestyle magazine right like uh fucking blade yes that's a good one babe anyway no let's For the tribe, right?
Let's talk about some of the pros here. You have a lot of people that you can connect with when you're in a tribe, right? In the same circle. A lot of possible connections. Let's say we got three couples, couple A, B, and C, right? Couple A and couple C could kick it. Couple A and couple B could kick it. Couple C and couple B could kick it. All different variations. Or the man of this couple goes to the lady of the... However the dynamic is, it could flow and you can have a great time.
Lots of possible connections. Everybody's familiar with each other. Everybody's familiar, right? Very close. You can have them over with your mother.
That mother that's right and again y'all can move you're right and y'all can move as a group you know what i'm saying like that group fucking around going into a club together they could like bring in people as a you know i'm saying like the the six of them moving around as one unit yes that's dangerous that could be fun yeah that could be crazy uh so they part they could party together right lots of party options and when you go to parties you're never alone you always got somebody always got a home base and that shit builds confidence yes you're building a lot of confidence go ahead i'm sorry you can take your moment to uh recharge yourself like at a party because you have uh multiple people at the same party right right who you can then lead on and kind of recharge and and get away or if you're feeling nervous about meeting new people you can just you know talk to the people who you know until you get comfortable right right exactly until you get comfortable and then who knows they're going to introduce you to other people to the date unmet so that's it yep uh-huh another thing you got a stack calendar that calendar is packed like you know you you got shit to do all the time you got places to be you got people to meet you're moving you're shaking you know what i mean um because of the group right um another thing that typically typically uh happens when you're part of a tribe when you think tribe you're thinking they're kind of close in proximity yes so everybody's kind of in the same general area you got people that you can you can go over the house hey look you know trish locked herself out the house i'm gonna go help her out real quick you know or and then i'm gonna kick it and i'm gonna stay i'm gonna watch some football and you know i have a chicken wing or whatever then i'll be right back yeah and in that you kind of develop that kind of close close relationship you have crazy adventures but then you can sometimes have that family bonding too huh yeah like you can really have genuine friendships outside of lifestyle play like you all know at the bottom core your lifestyle we we get that part right everybody understands that but when you build a tribe there's just that understanding right that we can also go out bowling and it's it's all good the cute little uh clothes on events those are nice it's very low pressure those are zero yes you know um we got friends who that we know do cute little what like a soup competition yes um we got this just this whole party bus thing right um what other little cute little ass river they do like uh rafting yes together like a rafting yes they do a bunch of cute little shit like we got other uh friend circles that just go over the house and kick it they just go on like a tuesday night hey what y'all doing nothing come kick it you know you see these things happening all the time right and and people just find reasons to just go to a um not even ball uh what is it pool go to a pool hall that used to be the thing for a little bit um and people just kicking it you might find folks going to other kids other friends kids sporting events yeah that like you said it kind of fosters that really really close uh relationship someone said a perfect match absolutely sometimes it can be now what about on the other side pros of being unaffiliated do you want to do the cons of a tribe yes do the cons so do the cons of a tribe first and then we'll do i think the cons of a tribe is that it can still become very clicky if you if you let it right it could it could still become very much clicky to where you're always going to the same events together people assume when they see you they see them right like type of things um so you got to watch out for that because it can become a little clicky if everybody's not you know just being open and kind of like meeting people here's one that i know would bother you you'd feel confined and obligated to like do the things that the group is doing move the way the group moves move when the group moves that can be exhausting yeah yeah that part can be exhausting but um i mean i'm gonna do what i want yeah i know but that's what but that's what i'm saying like you don't have to do it but you could feel that social pressure yes you know'm saying?
And in that, it will cause like a reaction. You would definitely give some kind of like reaction of like, no. You know what I mean? I can't. I'm done. An introvert is just like, I am drained. I am tired. I can't do this thing. You know what I'm saying? And it makes sense. It makes sense. So, again, this is just a con.
You know, we're thinking about it from both sides right um it can add up i think both sides it can add up but what do you think i i put that it can be expensive if the group is moving and your calendar's full all the time them dollars and cents baby see i think the opposite okay i don't i think that it's actually cheaper with the group because you know each other already and if i'm saying that i'm not going to do x y and z then i you know just don't do x y and z we're going to get to the other side where i think that that's more expensive actually i love it uh we got a sweet talker go ahead says that mrs red and ready says one con of having a tribe is having fomo when you are not there that is correct and that's another one i'm surprised you don't have that listed there because i have that as a con of being unaffiliated but no it i think that's a con of both though i think that's a con of a tribe as well because if you can't go to things right for whatever reason your schedule doesn't work right and then you start seeing your group of people but they're going to all other things yeah then it's just like okay like we live here you live here why am i not there because i can't be right whatever the case right whatever is why you can can't do it.
So that's that. And then also with the tribe, you know that people get tired of hearing no, like if you can't do something. Like for us too, our schedule doesn't allow us to go all the time. To even to me, we have a younger kid, but it's not always, right?
But there's times where we just we can't make things for um other reasons so i also can understand how your tribe of people can be like oh what you know we're gonna keep moving we're gonna keep it moving yeah yeah and i think i think that goes to being okay first let me ask you this then which one do we fall do we fall in tribe or do we fall in unaffiliated i think these days we fall a lot more to unaffiliated and i will say why once okay no i agree with that um i want to go ahead tell me why because we have so many friend groups that don't just that's not just here right where we are and it is not friend groups like who we just see in passing like actual friend groups who we are adore adore and you know we actually have built in a um a foundation with so because of that we have different pods i call that so again that is another constraint within our schedule right of why we can't go to certain things because we may have already committed to another friend group that's not here that means we have to travel right so travel is considered in our friendship in our relationships for sure in our bubbles and our circles.
So we have, like you said, those multiple tribes. We got people that are here. We got people that, you know, here being local. And then we got friends that are all over the place. Located all over. But we still get that feeling of closeness because of what we mentioned earlier, telegram.
And, you know things like that so where we feel like we're still located with these folks because we can talk to them anytime yes and we can send pictures and all the good stuff all the wonderful things so we still feel that sense of closeness until we can see them yeah so i think we covered all of the cons let us know sweet talkers if y'all have any more because i want to talk about how when we get there how that fomo uh is a part of being unaffiliated also but unaffiliated i love that term that's such a cool one um the pros you get invites from all the different groups all different groups you know what i'm saying you get you get invited and and you extend invitations that's one of the funnest parts to me um and i always said i said it on the show i love it when friends meet friends so when i could pull some friends from bubble here and friends from a bubble here and get them all in one place at one time and everybody gets along because you you've done the math and yeah i was just having a conversation with a friend of ours uh maybe right before the show and taking into consideration um her thoughts and how things connected when we were planning another event.
But that's one of the most exciting things for me to see and actually hit successfully. Having those groups of friends meet and then you see people like chatting and talking and maybe hugging or maybe more. It's the best. And then they start building their own foundation.
right without us um no no shade intended no i mean they start building their own foundation with like without us meaning that we we are not the center yes of why they need to or why they're talking at that point it doesn't mean we're all not talking it's just that they have now built started building their own relationship correct and that's the best i love that i love it um what else we got um when you say that you are unaffiliated and that now was and i'll get to that you say your opinion was that it was cheaper so i debated this before the show he told me to wait for now so right that it was cheaper to be unaffiliated and i and i disagree with that and sweet talkers you can correct me on that or not but i feel like it's more expensive being unaffiliated because you have all of these friend groups that are all over the place like all over different parts of the world everybody's inviting you to oh you can come to this event or come come to this state or hang out here and i want to do all the things right so the social calendar ends up filling up a lot like with i need to hang out with this spring group because i want to go see them there and we're going to go do this and we're good all these things right um and the social calendar ends up filling up but you're then traveling to see or do or whatever it is to hang out so i feel like it becomes more expensive because you want to see your friends and that doesn't mean they don't come and see you it's a two-way street but i'm just saying that i feel like it's okay not cheaper all right let me bounce that one around a little bit let me bounce that one around i i respect and i appreciate your opinion here's what i'm saying unaffiliated doesn't necessarily mean that your friends are all over the country you can have you can be unaffiliated think about the friend circles that we have just in the dmv right um we can we we you and i can dismiss every outside friend circle that we have and we can still have uh a few friend circles that we would be unaffiliated with in the DMV.
And it wouldn't cost us as much because we're not flying all over the place. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. But in order to even hang out with the people that you're unaffiliated with, you would have to not, you would have to disengage more of going outside of the area. Okay. The problem is that you don't have time to do the unaffiliated part of local because you're spending a lot more time also outside of the area. I'm saying if you took away the outside friends. So if you didn't do anything.
If you didn't have, yeah, if we didn't have any outside friends. And you just had the friends here. And we just had friends in the DMV. If you want to just look at that. Yeah. Then, okay, you can say that that's more. It's not as expensive. It's not as expensive. Right. But it doesn't mean it's still expensive to me. I still think that that can be too. Okay. Right. I think we're splitting hairs on this one. Yeah.
Because both sides can be expensive or inexpensive depending on the activity and where the friends are located okay right we're gonna leave it agree to disagree but no i really do think we're just sure whatever uh how many of us have them friends sweet talker says yeah i know right um that's a good question though uh do you consider yourself do you have friends or do you have a bunch of associates what do we have i think we have um a lot more friends these days Than we do associates.
And it's funny because in my regular life, like outside of lifestyle, I feel like I have more associates. Damn, that's deep. Yeah, I definitely do. It's not a feel. It definitely does. And outside of lifestyle, I have way more associates than I do actual friendships.
And think that because in a lifestyle you spend more time communicating about things with people that could be like really deep things about them right that kind of draws you into them like emotionally and then you draw a connection with that's deeper than a surface relationship yeah and i think that happens a lot more frequent in in a lifestyle and and i've never looked at it in this way but like go with me with this in the lifestyle because you're having these the conversations of not just about sex but it could be about i don't know this trauma that i had you tend to be a little more open about your emotions and what you're feeling and communicating in the lifestyle so you end up having more people who you're actually have some type of bond with yeah versus people who i i literally could be hanging out with you for five years and you're still guarded and just're and you're still not my friend you're an associate we we kick it we can do all the things but you don't know this part about me but yeah i will not tell you not lifestyle but like that deep right like you mentioned a trauma or whatever that is no i would be very guarded about anything i'm telling you because i don't i don't know you like that right and and i wouldn't feel comfortable telling you something about me um that i just don't know how you're going to use the information well well said but yeah so i mean just think about that right and sweet talkers and anyone that's listening to this episode when you do listen to it think about it right do you have more associates in your life outside of lifestyle or do you have more friends in the lifestyle yeah then you do associates right and and think about why that is i'm gonna have to do some soul searching on that one tris that was pretty good right just think about why that makes sense good question i love it thank you for that one um you know right now and then i'm you know unaffiliated i love bringing the groups together it's less potential for drama right that's a con of like uh the big the big group or whatever right being a being a part of a group or tribe drama happens sometimes because we've seen it friction with some people in the same group then it becomes everybody's talking about it and this mix of whatever the case things like that being unaffiliated i don't i'm not really in the mix with a lot of stuff because i i missed it yeah because i'm not we're we're just not involved in it or i barely know that person that's a part of the group you know what i mean i i heard i seen oh what you know but rarely y'all gonna get something that lock said about such and such you know what i'm saying ain't nobody gonna ever have that shit to be like Well, you know, Locke said this shit about such and such.
Nah, dawg. And if I say that part, I would.
you know what i'm saying ain't nobody gonna ever have that shit to be like well you know lock said this shit about such and such nah dog and if i said i would set it to you or if you asked me something i would say it to you but that's what i'm but i'm just i'm talking about like the the whole misconception or the myth or or the idea of like when you're in a big group yeah the you know people end up playing that game of telephone somebody said this and then they got transferred to this person and that person rumor mills and gossip and all that stuff that come with you know fairly larger groups of people we ain't part of that we don't do that we don't do the drama you know what i'm saying we don't do that stuff and i'm just i'm not nobody does nobody does nobody wants it's on everybody's profile you know what i'm saying we're a dramaless couple but sure exactly sure right so people probably thinking that about us too and i think it's how you react during it depends on what's happening right it depends on and how you react during a chaotic chaotic situation right are you going to feed the fire or kind of like all right i hear what's going on but i ain't really giving no type of feedback to this our word neutral neutral we are neutral i'll hear you out i'll hear you out i'm gonna hear them out and i ain't saying shit no that's it we stay neutral i'll give you some recommendations you know my thought about what you're asking if you ask it for it just listen.
But, you know, but that's the thing, right? We're just saying, like, it's less potential. Not saying that anybody's impervious. It's just less potential. Switzerland like a bullfucker. Monogamous marriage chimes in. And they said, Switzerland. Absolutely. That's our asses. I'll wave that flag all day.
You ain saying i said nothing exactly so um you're not feeling crowded yes that's a big one for trist right yes not feeling too crowded overwhelmed yes actually real quick yeah because i didn't know that monogamous was here just shout out to your episode last, last episode that you guys did. I think it was the last one. Yes, the pool party recap. Yes, the pool party recap that you guys did from the pool party that was in September. In the summertime.
Yes, I think it was in September at this point. It was hot, though. But it was hot outside. Literally, though, and figuratively. All the things.
it was such a good episode like um hearing the stories from the participants perspective they wrote in and told you guys you know to read off the uh what you requested that people send in like their thoughts yeah um And the people wrote in such thoughtful um remembrances of that party and it brought back memories and then uh um kate and liam they were able to fill in and give some context and their thoughts it just made it so fulfilling you got to get like a big round picture of what that party was like.
Yes. And, you know, and it was funny to hear that a lot of this, like, like how we remember some of the things. Yes.
The other people that were on the outside that wasn't even involved, like also directly with some of the events but remembered it the same way and but in their way from their perspective right talking about you sitting on sitting your pussy on somebody's head yeah yeah so i thought it was it was great so sweet talkers if you haven't checked it out check out monogamous's episode about their pool party yeah um it's already posted but it was amazing job yeah yeah they said but you beat us to podcasting about our own event Ha back across the border with some stories yes that shit was amazing it was amazing no it was a beautiful cast of characters wonderful wonderful people and we just appreciate the invite uh so parties can be less frequent for unaffiliated but that might be a good thing you might have open spots in your calendar yep but like trish said when you're committed to something you might be packing a bag you know what i mean you might be going somewhere yes so we're gonna get to some of the like to can the cons uh fomo like a mug i think fomo can happen being unaffiliated because not because of like the parties and things yep but because of the cute little things that we miss ain't gonna lie the cute little close things those hit me with a lot of people who you know already yeah yeah those those kind of get me you know like there was a time where some of our friends would drive literally past our house to go to like a spot and i'm like but what about me yeah yes yes and it and it also happens when what happened to you when you're a lot of your friends wanting that cruise i would like for you to not ever bring that up again my pillow is still wet for my tears he's like all a lot of my close friends are on the cruise my goddamn bestie was on that boat man dang we're gonna fuck some shit up together one day i'm telling you but nah she's awesome but man look it does it happens all the little cutesy things those things kind of they they touch me like i want i like that i like the closeness stuff i like the pants on stuff believe it or not i do i like the pants off don't i ain't go front like all the things but the pants on stuff is kind of cool man like um i remember like our friends uh from that couple next door they used to live in this area and they would go on like cute little things with their families and their lifestyle friends with like i remember hearing some of their stories about going to like cabins and go hiking and stuff like that together that stuff is dope that stuff is dope so i say that to say you know we're building our community also we're building our little bubble and those kind of things are what's on my mind for you know the future for like some friends and circles and things like that i love that stuff i love that friends giving our friends giving last year those are people from all sorts of different little bubbles yes and everybody wants to bring it back i'm bringing it back with a date regardless next year but yes nobody committed to a location this year or a date yeah we're gonna get it back we're gonna get it back that shit turned debaucherous too actually you know people was fucking in the hot tub it was crazy it was supposed to be here for turkey but anyway yeah um some of the cons you could feel isolated from some groups but that's kind of the same thing kind of in that fomo you know yeah it's a con yeah you know you're like i don't feel that way no i know you don't but i'm saying somebody could feel that way being kind of unaffiliated what else um the friends may be far yeah you can have a lot of different um pods where they don't live like where you live and to travel to them is a you got to pack a lunch and take a plane you know all it's not a drive to go and hang out with them right but that's when you agree to a location everybody you know we go into mutual location takeover we're gonna you know go on whatever trip together or we're gonna meet for the weekend you do find alternatives and that's a great opportunity for those friends to meet friends so again the bubble is i mean the the whole unaffiliated bubbles connecting that shit does something for me friends may be far so parties may be less frequent again that might be a pro for some and it might be a con for others actually again i like the being unaffiliated part because it gives me a chance to miss people flexible oh right no it gives me a chance to miss you i don't have to see you all the time uh-huh and we don't have to go to every local event and be there together right so it gives me a chance to miss you too oh desire me yeah oh is that why you uh kick me out the room all the time oh please you want to desire me i do want to desire you but i don't kick you no um but yeah the closeness may be limited i mean you know because you're kind of bouncing around you only got so much emotions that you can share but you try and i you people do mean something to you you know what i mean it's just not everybody in that group no is that i'm as close with everyone in that group and sometimes we gotta say you know our dance card is full dance that is facts like we got somebody said that to him we say that all the time but somebody told him that that they couldn't give or they like was like declined to give like their social information because their dance card is full socially right and i get that like at the time i was like what are you talking about but it made perfect sense that sometimes you've got to build and foster the relationships you already have yeah and you don't have the the space to really the emotional capacity to give to another person in that in that time spent right your cup is full yeah yeah oh man i think we didn't nail this one to the ground trist i think so at first i didn't know how this episode was going to come out but i'm glad it came out good yeah i think you i think you did a great job thank you we even got a couple of uh laughingjis there.
I forget what we said there. Oh, look at that. Go for it. No, you go. I read that. You know I can't read that. You can't see. Okay. We love our polycule. You're having a tough time.
Because the thing is, right, I mean, there's's mass too uh for the deep connections and the way we know each other's bodies but we always want to bring in new blood for the novelty oh that's correct i think that's a great way to kind of end it right they call it like their polycule and they put it in quotation marks because i don't i don't think hell no i'm not gonna tell people what they are and aren't they said polycule they mean fucking polycule right that's correct um so yeah but they like to bring people in and out so that's pretty dope yeah and we've seen how comfortable they are uh-huh like they comfortable like they it's a beautiful thing to watch yes the fluidity the flexibility and how people are like just moving and i like it i love it yeah i'm here for it i like it too for the fact that it doesn't like even though they have like other friends you know like us yeah no one feels pressures to do the same things right oh this group is comfortable so i have to be like them.
Right. Right. No. They make everybody, you know, feel comfortable in whatever way you want to be comfortable. That's it. I can't even. And ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much. Thank you. All right, guys. Thanks for joining, guys. Bye. Listen, we really appreciate all the comments, all the feedback. You know, y'all know what it is. We say this show is y'all's, man. We just turn on the microphones and let y'all do y'all thing. Thank y'all so much for joining.
We're going to catch y'all next time. Bye. Again, we'd like to thank you for living a sweet life with us.
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So do you have anything else to say to our lovely guests? Until next time, keep living the sweet life. Bye. We'll see you next time.
