Inside Hedonism: Real Swingers Resort Stories, First-Timer Tips & Casual Swinger Week Takeover Interviews

Transcript

Speaker1: You're listening to the Wanderlust Swingers podcast with Aussie hosts Kate and Daryl. If you're curious about exploring your sexuality or the swinging, hot-wifing and non-monogamous lifestyle, you've definitely come to the right podcast. Or maybe you just love travel adventures. Either way, we share our personal, sometimes juicy, sexy stories as well as Swingers Club and event reviews, interviews with other sassy people and of course our global swinging adventures. We try to bring you a look into the Wanderlust Swingers podcast with Aussie hosts Kate and Daryl. the diverse lifestyle that the swinging and non-monogamous community has. We hope you enjoy. Now let's get into the episode. Welcome to episode 217. I just got back from 10 nights at hedonism. Yes, insane. Seven of which were with the Casual Swinger podcast. So today we're going to talk all about hedonism. I've got four interviews coming up in the episode with two couples and two two ladies who are joining me to share their experiences, sexy stories, tips for clothing, optional resorts, how to get naked, how not to overpack and quite frankly how to arrange an orgy. Before we get into that I do have two new blogs out on the wanderlustswingers.com website. One is a helpful ultimate guide to STIs in the swingers lifestyle and the second is all about closing the intimacy gap and how studies have shown that couples intimacy levels decrease with longevity together. Check those out in the show notes too and head over to our website to see our blogs. Another quick update is that we are officially back on Apple US. Turns out it actually had nothing to do with us being a sex-positive podcast and everything to do with a prolific porn star that we interviewed six years ago who no longer wants to be in the industry. Yep, you heard that right. So head over to Patreon for the full story and what's coming next. Basically, we're under attack and we're on the edge of legal issues over a consenting interview that we've done in the past. We're back online with Apple, so big thanks to them for the team not giving us the complete cold show. Now, let's get into the episode, and I hope that you enjoy the interviews. If you want to join Casual Swinger week next year, which is a full hedonism takeover, they'll be back hosting in March 2027. You can check out more information on their website and social media soon. That's enough from me, though. Let's get into the interviews as I basically let other people take over the podcast today. I hope that you guys enjoy, and I'll see you guys soon. Hi, everybody. Welcome back. Now, you may know these people as the infamous couple from Florida. You may know them as the people that lose their voice by day three. You may know them as the people that dance until the end of the party. I am joined by a lovely couple here. Who are you two? What's your name? What's going on? I am Peppy. Barely known as Mr. Peppy. And we are from Florida. Peppy Pineapple. at the casual swinger party is infamous at hedonism. How do you guys identify? Are you swinger? Are you open? Are you poly? What's the crack with the two of you? So since we joined the lifestyle in 2020, we've always kind of struggled with this term. Nothing ever felt exactly right. Winger never felt right. We joked around with vacation swinger because we were only going to events like libertine and casual a handful of time of years. But over the past year, we've kind of settled on E&M. We feel that ethical non-monogamy kind of fits both. Our styles constantly changing. Sometimes there are separate play experiences. There's group play situations. There's, I don't want to say feelings, but there's emotions. Yeah, different levels of friendships or relationships with different couples and people. So this month we've decided that's how we are. Stay tuned for what we decide next year. Yeah. I love that. And ethical non-monogamy, it is such a big umbrella. And you're right, just because you've got that one relationship with one couple or one person, doesn't mean that it's going to be cut, copy, and paste with somebody else. And so I love the fluidity that you guys are adapting to. And I agree how Daryl and I probably identified 10 years ago versus today. Two very different things, right? And how we identified in Singapore is probably different to how we identify here in Amsterdam. So I love this. Now, this was your fourth trip to hedonism with Casual Swinger. And we've had a few conversations throughout the week and obviously after the event. And you used the word transformative. to you because I was giving you shit like where are my dance partners and several times that's what I'm here for giving people shit that's that's my host host duties what made this trip transformative what was it about this trip that you changed and why'd you say that so much so you kind of have the unique perspective too as being one of the first people we have ever met and spoken to when we entered this I went looking for podcasts and information and seeing the transformation you were there with wide open arms and this This trip was so different, and not because of any one specific thing, but as you know, Mickey and Valerie and the casual group, there's just such a unique collection of people that come together. And at this point in our journey, I have always felt safe. I want to say that. I have never gone anywhere not feeling safe, but the level of safety and love and security and being whoever I wanted to be, and that could change who I wanted to be at breakfast, by lunch, by dinner. Like, each day felt like 12 lifetimes. And I have never used my words in ways that I used my words this week. I've never expressed myself. I've never done things I've done. Every day we kept going, holy shit, did that actually happen? Was that real? And he was like, that was only Wednesday. That was 12 lifetimes. And we're just talking play. You know, everything happened. Fluidity we used earlier, just every worker, every day. Like she said, the next day I was like, that was the longest three weeks of my life yesterday. transition from breakfast to the pool to getting ready in our rooms to the dance party to disappearing to play every so often everything was so just natural and flowed and we go into the week always we would like to do this we want to do more that this year we didn't hit any of those marks exactly but we did way more than expected and we came home way more satisfied every other year yeah we went in with no real agenda we never go in with an agenda expectations but people can say i have no expectations there's always hopes wishes and dreams let's be right You're investing money. That's a normal thing. But this year, we're kind of like, you know what? We're just going to let the magic happen. And the magic happened. Like, it fucking happened. And we're spoiled by casual. Like she said, we're comfortable. We're safe. And four years in, we don't even worry about that anymore. So we enjoy ourselves, you know? I came home like a new person. The Hedo Blues are different. They're not a sense of longing. And I missed out on opportunities. Like, I, by Thursday night, Friday, And I was like, dude, we fucking did it. I haven't been down at all since I've been home. I'm okay. Yeah, it's fine, but it's okay. So did you guys feel that this time you, I guess, adapted and didn't have FOMO? Because I know a lot of the time you're quite visual, right? And people know the two of you as being very visual, which can come with complications. It means that you don't really spend too much personal time together because you're always on the go, running from the pool, clearly going back to your room, showering, getting ready, then hitting dinner, hitting the party, etc. Did you find that this time the reason that you had this opportunity was because you kind of went in and said you know what we're going to take this journey on our own we're not going to feel I guess obliged for lack of a better term to be at every single thing and almost to I don't know be performative in a way? Yes so this is probably one of the first years that my name necklace did not say Peppy I used my real name and even some people that I was meeting you know friends of friends at the thing and they're like oh you're Peppy you said you were so and so and I'm like well I'm They're one and the same. They're the hue, but you nailed that on the head. That performative aspect in so many ways disappeared this trip versus any other trip. And it's not that anybody's ever put that pressure on me or forced this Peppy Pineapple persona. I am Peppy. Everybody who sees me at a dance floor, like I am Peppy. It's fitting, but that performative aspect was alone. I made it to zero seminars or dance classes. And as you know, that's unlike me. I love the infotainment part of it. and we just did it. I think we went and sat on the beach for three hours one of the mornings just talking and unwinding and really taking those moments further for ourselves and yeah it was something else. So I'll ask Mr. Peppy then taking those those moments together something that you haven't had maybe the time to do in previous years do you think that reset your connection with each other but then also kind of gave you the permission to seek out potential intimate times with other people because you did feel so connected. Definitely. Yeah. I guess past years we've more connected afterwards and like we're always with each other in the moment. But I think our more check in this year. But even every night afterwards, we sat and kind of talked a little more specifically about things instead of pondering of what and how and then talking about it after. So, yeah, every day we were kind of fresh and ready for a whole new adventure. Well, I love that. I did give you shit and I'll continue to give you shit because that's that's what I do. That's our friendship. That's our friendship. So I will give you shit. I did miss my dance partners on a number of occasions, but I am extremely happy for the both of you that you had such an amazing week. But I will remain envious and missing my dance partners. That's just what's going to happen. I went through the events where you're the extra host because I know I get to dance with you on the dance floor. But if you stop giving me shit, I'll think you don't like me anymore and then I'll spy. We'll be cute for anyone. That's true. That's true. If I was overly nice to you, hold up. What's going on? Do you hate me? Okay, we're going to change tunes a little bit here. And I want to know what both of you feel is your favorite position, play scenario in the lifestyle, puppy play, orgy, full swap, two on two, soft swap, etc. And I'm curious, does Mrs. Peppy, Mr. Peppy, is it different for the both of you? But then when you're together, there's a change. Tell me all the things. So my favorite position, mostly together, but with other people would be 69. So it works, you know, all around that way. Yeah, for me. With my partner, I love Doggy. His dick was built for Doggy. Fun fact, ladies, jot that down. But like in, I don't have as many solo play experiences he does. And that's just not a dynamic issue. He travels a lot. He's been able to make great connections with what he does with work. I've had minimal. It's not my go to I like it. But I love something about a good group connection, whether that's four or six. I'm talking like full orgy. And I know there's debate on how many people constitute an orgy. But like one of our all time favorite scenarios was a group of six. And it was a soft swap six, which is also rare. And it was so fun. The dynamic was right. And that wasn't even this week, just in general. But for future, my ultimate dream goal is an all female sick puppy pile. So that's more of the fantasy fantasy. But I don't think I want to answer that question again. Well, hey, I love that you still have Visions and Dreams and Desires. That's always something to hold onto. And I guess the only other thing is that when we mark them all off, then what's next, right? Exactly. I can't do it all on a transformative week. I've got to keep some fun for Scottsdale and other things. Exactly, exactly. What would you say your favorite moment of Casual Swing a Week was? We obviously have the dance parties. We had the dance off. We have these amazing experiences. We have Glitter Man and we have the different games during the week. You two have your own personal journey. So what was your There's too many to really dial it down, but one of the things that comes to mind is the last night, a newbie, and I'm in the middle group. Everyone's kind of saying goodbyes, doing their thing, and a newbie comes in to the circle and gives me a hug and just thanks me for the wonderful week, and all I did was give her a safe space and look for me if you're uncomfortable. If people are playing Kinky Cup, find me. We're not playing. We're hiding. Let's do it, and she came up to me and gave me the biggest hug and heard of me and got my contact information, and I just felt like I helped facilitate for that couple or her specifically. I think he was a little more experienced and just it felt good that I was there to help someone in that way this year. I love that. That's amazing. Thank you for doing that. For me, 2026 this past year has been for the girls. Like there's been a lot of good moments, but there is something so powerful about the female friendships and connections that I have made in this lifestyle. As you grow up and become adults, it's harder to make friends, whether that's through work, your kids activities, all these things. But I have found some of my favorite humans in this community. And there was one moment on Feral Friday in the pool and everyone's dancing. The energy is high. And Mickey's like, this one's for you, Pepe. And Taylor Swift comes up. Oh my God, yes. And all of a sudden, all these women, like you see women, some of my friends getting in the pool and everyone's like shoving by. They're like, fuck you, dude, get out of my way. And all these women are, and we're just bouncing and screaming at the top of our lungs. And just the sisterhood and the pure happiness. and joy in that moment better than any orgasm and I've had some great orgasms like it's just it's so powerful to have this group of women that you can lean on and laugh with and cry with and like we have gone through some losses last year in our personal life and the way some of those women showed up and not because I was asking them to but I was like hey I'm going through some shit and they're like I can be there in an hour and a half what what do you need how can I support you and just it's so feels so good to have that in this group and that was such an unexplained And then there was a lot of fun, sexy moments, too. But that is going to live in my brain and get me through everything. Yeah, I was in the bathroom at the beginning of that. And I came back from the bathroom and I was like, why is there a Taylor Swift concert happening in the middle of Feral Friday? It was definitely, it was funny. I loved it. I played in the bathroom because I was hiding from Tinky Cup the whole time. I missed it, too. Missed the whole thing. What would be some advice that you would give some first-timers? coming to Hedo. So Hedo newbies, what advice would you give them? For this group, I think it's much easier because I don't have experience with many other groups yet, so we're just spoiled. But just use your words. You know, everyone's so accepting. You know, say no, say yes, say you want, say you don't. Like, we all don't care. We want to hear. We want to know. Enrollers next to that. My advice for Hedo newbies specifically is you can find all these Hedo newbie podcasts and podcasts that'll give you the lay of the land, but don't underestimate the power of breakfast. and not even from a need to refuel way. That is such a way to meet people. Big tables. One of those big, there's these big 10-person tables in the dining hall. Now, if you want to go seclude because you need a private moment with your partner, go sit at a little four-person in the table. But even if you don't have breakfast plans, go sit at a 10-person table. People are going to come to you. Are these seats taken? And I've had some of the best conversations with people I probably would have never gotten a chance to chat with in the pool when things got crazy. And it's not even from a sexual standpoint, but I just, the connections and conversations I've had around that breakfast table are top tier. That is a good piece of advice, actually, because it is very easy to want to sleep in. It's very easy to be like, fuck it, I'll get up later. And then you hit the pool party. I agree with you. I think that there's something powerful in opening yourself up on those 10 top tables. Even if you're joining one, you're starting one, and then having some of those conversations about people's experiences journeys and what they're doing, why are they here? I had an amazing conversation. Like you said, it might not necessarily be a sexy conversation. We actually delved into trauma in the past and things like that people are experiencing. And it made a connection for later in the week where I caught up with someone later and they were coming up to me and saying, oh, this happened and I know you'll get it. And it was just such a beautiful thing that came from a random breakfast burrito. Yes, exactly. Get those breakfast burritos. That's a good point also. Well, it has been absolutely fabulous having you both very, early in the morning from florida joining us officially mrs and mr peppy thank you so much for jumping on the podcast and it was great to see you i will see you in scottsdale because i know that you came off the back of hedonism and went october i still want to see my people so thank you for booking that and i'll see you again it's very soon always a pleasure bye all right everyone welcome back i have another attendee of the hedonism I actually have the spicy crafter on the line. So welcome to the show but also tell us a little bit about yourself. Where are you from? How long have you been the lifestyle for? Give us the tea. Thank you so much. I'm from a small town in northern Ontario, Canada. I have been dipping my toes in the lifestyle I guess you can say for the past three-ish years. It kind of coincided with my content creator journey. Coming from the Canadian lifestyle space, how would you say that it differs do you think from what you've seen elsewhere? Is the Canadian lifestyle space, do you think it's very heavily club focused, more social events, more meet and greet? You said you're from a small town, so I'm assuming you probably got to travel for a lot of this, but what's your thought on how the Canadian lifestyle might differ? So from what I've seen socially online, it seems like the Americans have more fun than us, especially from my standpoint. So coming from a very small town, our lifestyle is pretty much non-existent. There are people that claim that they're into the lifestyle, but then when you get to meet them and know them, it seems like they're just wanting to to fulfill something that's unsatisfied or missing in their relationship. So we find that it doesn't go very far. For myself and my husband, we do travel down to the X Club in Toronto, which is about an eight-hour south drive, which is where we have all of our fun. They call us the weekend warriors when we get there because we'll leave here on a Friday, we'll party and then wake up again, party all Saturday night, and then head back home Sunday to back to our small town of nothing. We love the X Club though. We've made a lot of lifelong friends from there. And we've had a lot of fun, more than what we would have here. Well, I would say, though, you've just represented Canada versus US. You've kind of laid the gauntlet down there. So what I would say for our Canadian listeners is let's see what you guys have got. Send us in notes and tell us all about your frisky lifestyle experience there in Canada. I want to see it. I did meet a lot of Canadians on this trip in particular that were from very small towns. And I have quite a few friends that I know that are from very small towns in Canada. And you're such a spread out country that it is super difficult for you guys. And like you said, it's an eight hour drive down to a club in Toronto. I can see where you're coming from. When we first started this, we were in Australia and we were just seeing all these people that were like, I flew one and a half hours to Jamaica or I went two hours to Desire. And I was like, it's a 36 motherfucking hour trip for us. You know, that's commitment. So this was your second trip to Hedo, but your first with Casual Swingers. So what would you say were some of the differences between your first and second trip? I would have to say that the trip with the casual swingers was a lot more organized than last time that we went down. Don't get me wrong, we did have a lot of fun, but I really, really liked the fact that Mickey and Mallory had that casual connect app. It was very useful too for communicating with everyone, finding events, what was going on, what was canceled, what was rescheduled. And we utilized that daily during our trip, which I really, really loved. I did find that the energy of this group was absolutely amazing. Everyone was there to party. Everyone had a good time. The vibes were just up there. We absolutely loved it And do you think that going from your first to second time, did you yourself feel maybe a little bit more comfortable? You know, you kind of knew the surroundings, so you went straight into it with probably different eyes than you might have done on the first trip? Absolutely. I felt way more comfortable the first time. It took me a while to feel confidence in my skin, maybe about three days till I felt like, okay, I was actually home. This was normal. But when I first got there, I was like, okay, we're back. This is what we're doing. I went straight to the nude pool. Last time it took me a while to walk over that barrier where, You know, you have to take your clothes off. This time I went straight there. I knew it was up and I had a really good time. What would you then say to newbies who are new to going to hedonism and want to feel confident walking over that line between the clothing optional side and the nude required side? I would say just do it. I felt like I wasted some time the first time I was there because I was too afraid to walk over there right away. Don't overthink it. Honestly, every body shape, every body size. I personally felt like it was a judgment-free zone. good time everyone had the same vibes just walk over and do it it's always one of those things isn't it we do get in our heads we ever think it we rip the band-aid off sometimes and then we kind of think i wish i'd have done that earlier our first trip to a clothing optional resort i think i was topless on the first day i think the second day i took my pants off in the pool and then the third day i was just out and i was like fuck it you know i am who i am exactly yeah just do it yeah fuck it yeah i think about again your first to your second trip then knowing what you knew did you kind of come with any new information? Had you and your partner talked about different boundaries this time round or desires or wants? Not really those moments, no. But before we went in, we told each other like what we wanted to do and what we can do. And we're pretty open with each other. So if he wanted to do something and I was totally fine with that. If I wanted to do something, he was totally fine with that. We went in like we have a good communication with each other. So we know if we have to sit and have a little chat or whatever. But that's fabulous. Now, did you have any firsts on this? last trip. I did. Were you willing to share your first? I had my first ever BBC experience. Okay. And it was great. Yeah. So that was, was that something you went in and you were hoping for that experience or did it kind of present itself through the week and you thought, I'm going to take this experience? Yeah, no, I've never really thought about it. Well, I thought about it, but it wasn't something that I had to do, but I had just met somebody at the swim up bar, the nude pool, and we got to talking and then it just happened. Oh, that's awesome. Did you make use of the playroom on or did you kind of maintain any of your intimate times to your bedroom? No, we used the cabana mostly in the next nude pool. See, there you go. So I love that. I love the fact that you can use so many different parts of the property for play. I think that that's one of the benefits of this particular resort is that you're kind of not just retaining to the nighttime playrooms or your room. Like there's the daytime cabana, there's the cabanas on the walkway. If you want to have sex there, you can. You know, there is kind of different areas around the resort, which is absolutely delightful. Did you have an audience? I had a couple people watching. A couple people pop in and see what was going on. They were kind of like peeking in and I did have a friend come and check on me. And yeah, so. That's awesome. And then was your partner with you during that experience or was he in the pool still? No, he was not. He was still in the hot tub hanging out. So he missed out on that. He did. And then you came back to the hot tub and kind of recounted it with him. And oh, that's awesome. Did other people around you know what was happening as well? Like, did you kind of give him a wry smile? When you got back in, like, what have I been up to? They knew. Yeah, they definitely knew. Because the one person that came to check on me was a friend. And she obviously went back and reported back to the group in the hot tub. So yeah, they all knew they had smiles on their faces. Yeah, they're probably like, tell us everything, you know. Exactly. Yeah. Outside of that, did you have a favorite part of your week? Or was there something surprising that happened during your week? I'm going to say my favorite part would have been the afternoon pool parties. The everyday afternoon pool parties. friends that I've met at the pool parties, like the music, the dancers. Then they were throwing around the shots. It made it for more fun. But no, the pool parties were probably the highlight. I attended. Everyone hung out in there, you know, enjoyed the sun and the rain when it rained on us. We still stayed. We didn't leave. Yeah. And thank you for that. It is always such a gut-wrenching moment when it rains during an event for the host. Thankfully, this is not my event. You know, I'm just helping them host. But it is something where you see those storm clouds coming in. And you have this gut reaction of like, everybody's going to run away from the party. And it always amazes me when people are like, we've spent money and time to be here. We're going to have a good time, regardless of what gets thrown at us. And I always just love kind of seeing that energy. So people kind of tend to go a little bit wild during the rain, which again is super funny. Now, did you get up and do any naked dancing poolside or did you throw yourself in the deep end and be maybe a little bit more visible that way or play any of the poolside games or anything like that? I did last time. I did last time. This time it was just the dancing in the pool. Like just the full on, you know, arms in the air, the music was popping, dance in the pool. Wow. Was there anything that perhaps you wanted to do, didn't accomplish, think that you'll maybe do on a future trip if you decide to go back to Hedo? I would have loved to group play on the side of the pool. I know it's, it's, I don't really like to organize or I guess you could say commit to something, but if that was to happen, I would have definitely joined into that. Yeah, that would have been, if it happens. Yeah, that's right. You don't want to. There were a few blowjob trains going on in the pool at one point. I saw that, which I always think is funny because there were a few ladies getting cunnilingus at one point, but maybe one or two. But then there's always a blowjob train on the side of the pool. Yes, and I missed that one. I don't know where it was, but I missed the one and I definitely would have joined in on that. Right, but I do want maybe the role reversal. I want to see the role reversal next time. I want to see a cunnilingus train happening. Just just swapping it over, you know, like when is it going to be the ladies' turn to be up on there? Maybe next time. Maybe next time. Maybe that's something. For your next journey coming up the rest of this year, are you guys heading down to any clubs soon or do you have any local events that you're excited about? We are going to make our way back to the X Club as soon as all the snow. We don't really like traveling much in the winter. It's not, you know, safe. There's way too much snow here, but our first stop will definitely be the X Club to reconnect with our friends and the ones that we did meet on our recent trip. Was it hard going from like 35 degree weather back to Canada where you are with all this snow? It was. Oh, my goodness. It was awful. So the thing with the rain at Hedo, I didn't care because at least it's not snow. We had a major snowstorm while we were gone. We got dumped on. So leaving the airport when we landed in Toronto where the weather is better than here, but still not Jamaican weather. It was like, oh, no, the depression is hitting hard because we're going to, you know, having to shovel our driveway. Yeah, it's not just real life. It's like real life leveled up for you guys. You've got to put three layers on and shovel your driveway. It is adulting triple plus. Yeah, clothes on top of a sunburn is not, it's not a deal, you know, I would rather not have to wear my clothes. Well, it has been absolutely fabulous chatting to you. So the spicy crafter in a very, very small town on the outskirts of Ontario in Canada. I really appreciate you joining me and thank you so much. Thank you so much. I had a great time. All right, everybody, I have Veronica on the line. She is back. You may remember Veronica's voice from our San Antonio recap. Well, we just spent seven nights together in Jamaica in Hedonism Resort, so we're going to talk about Casual Swinger Week. How are you doing, babe? I'm doing great. My voice might be a little different because I've been fighting off the Hedo crud and then the pollen. I feel very happy. I didn't get any Hedo crud. I'm the chosen one is how I feel. Very, very proud of you. Now remind us where are you from and what's your favorite sexual position? I live in southwest Georgia and my favorite sexual position it kind of depends on who I'm with because everyone's built a little different but doggy style is pretty much always a good go-to for me That is funny because the person I interviewed who will appear on this episode with you actually said their husband has the best doggy style dick and she was like take notes ladies so we're getting a lot of doggy style on this episode for some reason so I love it I have to make sure when I listen, I take notes so that I see them in another event. I can be like, let's test that assumption. Exactly. We're into it, of course. And you will see them in Scottsdale, by the way, heads up. But seven nights at a swingers resort, it's a marathon, not a sprint. How do you and Hubman, your partner, how do you keep connected to each other during the week and rest in and after in the week? What tips can you share for newbies that might be thinking about taking on something like a seven night event? So the first thing is to know yourself and your personality type. So Hubman's an introvert and I'm I'm an extrovert that gets overstimulated easily. And we don't spend every minute of every day together. We're early people. So we'll get up, do breakfast. He'll go back to the room and chill and I'll sit there and socialize. But then we'll take our time for each other. We'll just sit on the beach and relax and talk and read a book. And when the afternoon comes with the pool party comes, we very rarely stay for the whole pool party because we're like, all right, it's time for us to go back to the room and have some reconnection time. and nap and snuggle and all those things and then go through the evening. But we made sure that we took time for some really good conversations because when you're there, the time goes fast and the time goes slow. The first day is really fast because you're jumping around like a squirrel seeing all your friends. But then Monday, Tuesday can be a little slow. We took that time to just really chat with each other because life and home gets so busy with our jobs. And even though we're empty nesters, we still have a lot going on. But just being able to take that time and really talk to each other about all the changes that have gone through our lives in like the past two keto years. You know, I talk about keto years and then the changes we have upcoming in this next keto year was really good for the two of us. I think sometimes too, when you are away as a couple outside of your home where there are chores, there's bills to pay, there's clothes to wash, dishes constantly, that concept of holiday sex, I think it's similar with conversations because you're out of this, almost what sometimes can feel quite oppressive at home with everything hanging over your head. And you have this newfound freedom. I think it is easier to have those maybe couple connection conversations. So I love that you took the time out to do that, even at a swingers resort. I talked to a couple of other couples and they did the same thing where they just went and took that time. And then we took time to go out to dinner with some of our friends that we see there. But it's basically knowing yourself and knowing how much unpeople time you need. and making sure you take that unpeople time because we all can't be Mickey. Definitely. The world could not handle. No. This is your fourth time to hit an isn't resort. When you think about arriving the first time, arriving to the resort, walking into the lobby and I guess the anticipation, perhaps a little bit of anxiety, a little bit of the unknown. And now your fourth time is the major changes you've seen between your first and fourth visit. Well, the first is I just have so much more confidence in myself. And we kind of talked about that when we talked about my health journey back in October. But also with this fourth trip, this is the fourth trip that we've taken with these people. And of course, last year, I went by myself for a couple of days because of scheduling. But these are my friends now. I walked in secure and happy and excited because I was going to see these wonderful people that I only get to see a couple of times a year, whether it's casual week or one of your events. just the excitement and the knowledge that Hubman and I were going to play with each other and we had some established people that we knew we were going to play with and I think having that going in really takes the anxiety off of the week and then you know we're like we have these things scheduled and then thank you and then we'll leave room for the spontaneous okay well that's a good tip for newbies as well because we always do say try not to I guess clock too much in try to leave time for spontaneous because things do have a way of popping up, pun intended. Now, you mentioned during your San Antonio chat, and it's great that you just talked about some scheduled play that you had there. In San Antonio chat, you talked about Hubman and you occasionally playing separately. Now, when going to a resort like this, though, as a couple, do you also play separately or do you focus really on couple on couple play being together? And what do you focus on and why? We do both. We both had the freedom to play separately. I knew that I was going to have an opportunity to play separately with a friend, and we discussed all of that before we went there. And then the rest of it was, let's be together, because being together and playing together in the same room is really, really our thing. We leave the space open for if something happens, or I had told Hubman, if you have the opportunity to go and play by yourself, by all means, take it. And if we have the opportunity to play together, we will absolutely take that. We're just very go with the flow at this point in our journey. Okay. Yeah. So making sure that you had both on the table, right? And going in very, very intentionally. And question, because I'm nosy as hell, did you find some couple play that you enjoyed at the week? Oh, God, yes. We actually met for our spontaneous, we met a couple and they started with asking us questions because they were a little newer to all of this. with us, we will answer any question we are asked. And we were talking and then they propositioned us and we're like, absolutely, let's set up a time and go and do things. And we had a lovely time with them. And now we are bullying them into coming to Scottsdale. I love that you said that they were new, they approached you, but then they made the first move. I mean, round of applause to whoever that was. Oh yeah, they went to them, the communication class and really took that message to heart. So good for them. And they said that we just made them feel really comfortable. So that I think really helped because you know how Hubman and I are. We're just very friendly and warm and comfortable people. Yeah, absolutely. I couldn't agree more. There was a time when I was floating around the pool and Hubman was off to one side, just being part of the party. But like you said, he's not necessarily an extrovert. So you may find him time to time part, but been hanging out and him and I just hung out and had a little drink together on the outskirts of the pool. What was then the highlight of your week at hedonism this year? Alright, so the non-sexy time highlight was Ladies Book Club. Oh, yes. And I do run it, so there is that. Bias. Bias, but it's a small group that do it. Everybody's invited, but, you know, most of us ladies, most of us are not out. So there's this whole part of our lives that we really can't share with our vanilla friends or our family. that opportunity for us to just be able to really know each other and have that place to talk to each other. And then the books that I choose and Not Your Average Mrs. Helps Me with the book selection are very deliberate. So we read Good Girl Deprogramming this year. And I picked that because a lot of people in the ladies chat were talking about their issues with setting boundaries and saying no. And I felt that really did that. But one of the most unexpected gifts from all of this, from your community and the casual swinger community has been these incredible female friendships that have developed. So that was the highlight, my non-sexy time highlight. And my sexy time highlight was we got to attend a large group setting play, which is not something that we've indulged in the past, but we were like, let's do it. Let's go for it. We ended up having a really good time with that. and just learning about yourself. Once again, I get very visually overstimulated. So that's one of the other reasons I do like donkey style because I can put my head down and just focus, but I can enjoy the sounds because the sounds don't overstimulate me. The visuals do. And it was just so hot watching those other people. It was a little challenging because Hubman and I are so polite. So we see like people are into something. We're not going to be like, oh, hi, can we join you? But it was incredible and it was fun. And then the last night, the two of us, to the playroom. And it was just with the breeze and the air. And it was just like all the fun of outside sex without having to go camping, which I'm not a fan of. So those were my sexy time hikes. And I know you said on the last time we chatted, you said that you and Hubman aren't necessarily big proponents of the public play and playroom. So the fact that you had this group play and then went to the playroom this week, amazing. I'm super glad that you guys did that. Yeah. I have another question. A lot of people talk about who hedonism is for. And people who go to certain resorts around the world, they tend to find which one they like and then they love it, right? And that's what they tend to be very positive about. But what I like to do is flip it on its head and say, who is it not for? I think it would be a lifestyler that is still working to understand what consent means. Because it's just, there's just so much temptation out there. We're all naked. It's a very sexually charged atmosphere. If you're not sure if you want to be in the lifestyle, I don't think hedonism is the place to go and figure that out. I think if you're like, yes, this is what we want to do and we want to be around those sexy vibes, absolutely. But I just think there's so much going on and you don't know the conversations to have with each other about how you're going to manage all of this. So that would be like who I would say it is not for. Do you have any other sexy stories that happened during the week or really any tidbits or takeaways that kind of left you going that was money and time well spent away from home, work, my dogs? Well, I do love those mirrors on the ceiling. I saw your photo on Twitter, young lady. And figuring out how to film that. So the last year when I was doing that, my partner put the phone on the bed and filmed it. And I'm like, I can't watch that. I'm getting fucking vertigo every time I see that. But just getting to just really be my sexual self. I can be loud at home. The kids don't live here anymore. But I can like just really go and just be a flirt and be sexy and just where you can't always do that. But I had a lot of sex. I had sex with a bunch of different people, men, women. It was it was all good. And then, oh, I got to do body shots. So I had never done a body shot before. And I kept on saying with one of my friends, hey, you got to hook me up with a body shot. But he failed. So I put it in the hands of Chris and Amanda. I ended up doing body shots off of a friend. And then I had someone do them off of me. And I was like, OK, I've done it. I would just rather just drink my tequila out of the cup. It's all good. But I got to try something that I hadn't tried before. So it was great. And I cannot wait till casual swinger week 2027. I really can't wait to Miami when I get to see you guys again I think it's funny that you said about body shots because some of these things that we have on these like oh I might want to try that it's a bit of a novelty and you do it and then like check it off but I'm gonna go back to my drink the regular way in a cup please and thank you so I love that you had a lot of sex I mean kudos to you for rubbing my nose but I absolutely love that you you had a lot of sex well you were a host there's a no booty on duty role so I know but it is it is great to hear that you you guys connected apart connected together that you had playroom activities everything else. But remind us again the name of that book so I can mention it in the show notes if case anybody else wants to read it. It's good girl deprogramming and I will just text you a picture of it. It was a good book. There was a quiz. I think a lot of us in midlife, like our 45 plus crowd, don't give a fuck anymore. I think it's a helpful guide to get us through that. Nice. Excellent. It also sounds to me like it might have some of that latent guilt that perhaps I think women can carry the burden of oftentimes when we enter the lifestyle. And I did actually talk about that a little bit in the Hot Wife session. Sometimes we carry that. Hot Wife session was great, by the way. I really, I love that. I was sad that I had to leave a few minutes early to get the slutware swap set up. But you and Mallory did an amazing job with that. And thank you for answering my questions on that one, too. Oh, of course, of course. What I love about this conversation, you mentioned that you get to be a little bit more yourself. It's something that Daryl and I always say, just being you're authentically slutty and giving yourself permission. to do so I think it is extremely rare that we get the chance to do that so I love that you had that chance and thank you for sharing your entire week with us and it was great to see you and I get to see you like I think it's four or five times in like a 12-ish month, 13-month period or something. It makes me so happy. Thank you. Thank you so much for joining me. I'm now joined by Victor and Christine. Thank you so much for taking the time out of your morning. to join me on the podcast today, guys. Hey, thanks for having us. It was great spending a week with you. You've just said that you're recovering from the keto crud, just starting to get back into real life. How does it feel wearing clothes today? Very uncomfortable. It's the worst thing when you come back is to put clothes on. It feels so strange, right? You can't just like roll out of your house with a wristband on and nothing else. I tried to do that in the backyard and then realized the neighbors could see into the backyard and know like, okay, fuck, I guess I didn't do that. What are you guys from? How long have you been in the lifestyle for? How do you identify? Tell us a little bit about the both of you. I'm from everywhere. So I grew up moving. A little bit about me. I spent 21 years in the military, left that, went to the corporate world. I've been lifestyle or lifestyle adjacent for 20 years. Oh, wow. A long time. Yeah. Christine and I had been together for, well, since 2017. We've been married since 2019. And then we got married, church married in 2020. Yeah, there's a whole story on that one. So that's a long process. So we together have been a lifestyle three years. Would you classify yourselves as swingers or do you say open relationship, ethical non-monogamy? So we had a friend of ours that coined a term that we love and we use, which is situational swingers. Not that we don't swing, it's more of a how we swing is going to depend upon the situation, right? So whether it be a hot wife time or solo play or full swap or soft swap, it really just depends on the couple that we're talking to, the single we're talking to, or the venue we're at and the general vibe and profitability of everybody involved. We consider ourselves to be situational because when we first started it was adding a third only. Things just kind of ended up evolving and it really came what it came down to is what my comfortability was. What played into what my insecurities were and as I became more comfortable with things then that's when it became a little bit more open to different situations. Yeah I was going to say you seem like your approach is quite fluid so you could who calls yourself fluid swingers. But then I thought that has a whole different meaning in the lifestyle and people might get very confused. Now, one of the big things about hedonism is getting naked in front of strangers. That's probably the biggest questions. How do you deal with it? Do either of you have any tips for new people entering the lifestyle or new people going to a clothing optional resort on how they might rip the bandaid off and get in the nude side? So when we initially booked our first trip, Victor was like, hey, we're going to Hedo and we're going, we're I came up from a very sheltered Disneyland strict Catholic upbringing and he was worried about like hey how's she gonna end up reacting so we literally got there got to the room I stripped down and just walked outside well let's let's rewind that so we got there we started talking to people on the way to our room right we ran into a couple from the zoo crew great guy and his spouse and we were we were chatting and they were both naked very comfortable very different body types right not not a Bronze Adonis or a Greek goddess. It was normal people having a conversation without the fear of being seen. So I think for her that led a little more to the comfortability at that point. It also helped that we went to the newest resort. We went to a local one prior to that. And so you were able to be naked in front of people there. Yeah, I'm not very confident about how my body looks. I'm starting to realize what I think I see is not really what I see because I've gone through weight loss journeys as most of us have. I can't but see the fat girl yeah body dysmorphia is a real thing it's no joke oftentimes what we see in the mirror is not what other people are seeing so you said you went in and then stripped down i mean were you having internal conversations so you egging yourself on like just do it get it done or did you just feel comfortable so i'm an over processor and over thinker and i did not let myself do that because if i knew if i let myself do that i would get in my own head and it just wouldn't happen so So for me, the easy thing to do was actually get the room, strip down, grab my cup, and go to the bar at the pool and get into it. Yeah, fair enough. And what about you, Victor? You've been in the lifestyle 20 years. I'm sure you've been nude quite often. Do you have any hangups anymore or are you just straight in there with confidence? Well, so everybody has confidence issues. Every human being in the world and even the most outgoing person at keto still has body parts that they don't agree with or don't like, right? I've been getting naked in front of people since I was 17. by joining the military, you're naked in front of all the doctors and all the people. You go to take showers with a bunch of guys. No privacy or privacy in our world. So for me, it's never been a thing. I will always have the normal male issues, right? Where we were like concerned about how your genitalia looks, right? Is it big enough? Is it small enough? Is it going the right way? Is it hanging right today? The thing for me about places like hedonism or the lifestyle in general is once everybody's naked, you're on equal footing. It really doesn't matter. And there's somebody there that loves all body types. the people that are there do not have in mind to go out and judge people. They're not there for that. That's right, yeah. We kind of almost expect somebody's going to like point and laugh like, what is it, Milhouse out of Simpsons or whatever. What was one of the sexiest moments that you two witnessed at Hedonism over the week? I think it was the first real day of everybody who got there. There was an amazing person going on the side of the pool. I'm not sure if you were there for that one. I mean, I'm bouncing around, but I don't, there was like a blowjob train. There were some two ladies getting cunnilingus over the week. I saw... You would not have missed this one. Okay, all right. It was cute couples that we know pretty well. You know them too. They just decided it was time to break the ice for everyone and had a great foursome on the side of the pool. Started out with blowjobs. Obviously, they continued on into just this pile of bodies on the side of the pool, which was a great time, right? Everybody enjoyed it. You know, people were very happy to see it. So I'd say that that is the beginning of all the sexy moments, right? I think I know who you're talking about that might have started the play on the side of the pool. but I'll have to confer back if that's actually the people I'm thinking about. For the both of you though, what was a favorite moment or highlight that you had throughout your week? We got to play with a couple that we know pretty well. Got to know pretty well. Yeah. She has a problem with closing. I let her take the leave intentionally to comfortability as well as to allow her to expand that confidence. And so we had conversations with a couple for a couple days and then it was a moment where she was like, I don't close well. you guys to know that. And then a male, the husband was like, well, let's go do this now. Because fuck it, we're going to get over with, right? So we went straight to the, we went straight to the flood shack, happening hut, whatever word you want to use, but right by the pool. And just for me seeing her, it was the three of us on her for the beginning of it. And then we kind of transitioned into partners, swapping partners. And that was great. And then when the other spouse, when she was coming, she grabbed her husband real tight by the arm. And it was just like, hey, I know you're there. and this is so sexy and I love this. And the same for you was just, it was a great, wonderful breakthrough moment for us because at Hedo, we've had mild play, but nothing ever true. We haven't had a full on good play session at Hedo. So that was the first one as a couple to experience. So it was very sexy and very hot. I think though also maybe saying you're not a great closer is also closing in a way because that does open the doors. Like you say, I'm not a great closer. That almost gives the people permission. I'm interested, but I'm not a great closer. I think that is a way to actually close the deal. So soft close, right? Yeah. So like when we previously talked to, we knew we were both interested in each other. I think they were waiting for me to be like, okay, let's go do this. Based upon comfortability. But when I'm like, look, I can't close to my fucking life. They were just like, all right, let's fuck it. Let's go. Let's go. Yeah. A hundred percent. Now, did you guys do any of the additional sessions, seminars, classes? And if you did, what one resonated with you and why? We did too. and then we did the communications talk and i actually got a lot out of both of them when i realized i stuck at communicating like half the time i thought i was really good at communicating and i'm halfway there there's just missing pieces along the way that i leave out that i think because they're in my brain he can read like what's in my head and it just doesn't come out of my mouth and then also seeing like for the hot wife a lot of similarity in our relationship that a lot of the dynamics, right, exist across all relationships. The dynamics in the couples and how they act with each other and the protection, the being close, ensuring that you're within the location, local to the area when somebody's out playing, all of that comes into effect with everybody. And so it's not unique to us or me, right? Like I'm not an overprotective male. I think it actually helped him also really that he's not just the overprotective male because we've had multiple conversations at times where he feels as if he's being too protective and too overbearing and for me I already know he cares about me but I know that he cares for my safety and he will do anything and everything to make sure that I'm comfortable I'm okay and nothing's gonna happen I have a question for both of you mostly people generally point this in the female's direction but it works both ways did you And if so, what tips might you have for people who are packing for a vacation like this to not do so? I always overpack. I am the what-if packer. It has always come to my benefit by having the extra thing. If you can lead it down, great. If you can't, and you're saying, I might need this, bucket, bring it. It's an extra bag, okay, or step it in to carry on. You like options? I like having options. Part of our overpacking is that I will pack Victor's energy drinks because he likes a specific energy drink. They're super expensive in Jamaica. If I don't have a properly caffeinated husband, he's not going to be in a good mood. So I make an effort to make sure to pack enough rock stars to get him through the league plus a couple extra in case he has a day where he needs two rock stars. Fair enough. Yeah, some of those creature comforts that it's actually the same for Mickey. He likes a particular flavor of energy drink and they don't sell it there. And so he had to deal with having some of the sugar-free Red Bulls that I was picking up from the gift shop. So I get that. Creature comforts. Oh, yeah. If you're coming, you can go with a carry-on if you're not bringing costumes, right? You don't have to participate in the dress-up. It's fun. I think everybody enjoys doing it because you get to live that moment, but it's not a necessity. So if you really wanted to backlight, you could. Many people would just bring carry-ons or if you're like one of our people you probably saw in the chat, they're like, I'm bringing in boy shorts and mesh shirts and that's all I'm going to wear for all the different dress-up. I just have different colors. Yeah, you can give a nod to the theme. Like it's St. Paddy's Day. My booty shorts tonight are green. Oh, it's fetish night. My booty shorts are black tonight. But that's my thing is, you know, if you want a tip, that would be it. Just tap what you think you need, but make sure you bring your medication. Yeah, 100%. That's 100%. Thinking about tips for newbies, your number one tip for a newbie that you would tell every single newbie when they're looking at going to a swingers resort? Don't over process it. Like I said, I am an over processer. And if you're remotely, mildly interested in doing it, it's just bucket, bucket, go. Because if you don't, you're always going to have that what if in the back of your head. What if I would have enjoyed it? What if I would have had a good time? And you're 80 years old and you're like, all right, my boobs are hanging on the slurping ground. Nobody's going to want to have sex with me now, not even the sexy silvers. Mine is simply not to go with expectations. Understand that nobody's there to pressure you. Nobody's there to judge you. Nobody's there for you to do anything you don't want. do enjoy the experience and if you decide that the lifestyle is for you and you want to play then go do that if you just want to be there and be nude and be around a bunch of people enjoy that and there's a clothing optional side for a reason don't overthink it and then don't go with expectations i love that thank you yeah because we do say that in the lifestyle obviously don't go with expectations but at the end of the day you've spent money time away from work family etc there is going to be an element of desires and i think one of those like rather than coining it expectations one of those is i want to have a really good time i want to have good conversations with fun people. I maybe want to get dressed up. I want to maybe dance by the pool. Like some of these things that are easily achievable, almost guaranteed, really. Ours is just to have fun with each other, period. Yeah. We're going to have sex in public. We're going to have sex in our room. Our upstairs neighbors were very cool about it. So we went to breakfast. We actually know the couple very well that had the room above us. So we went to breakfast and she went to go talk to them and they're like, hey, did you have a train running in your room this morning? Or was that just Victor? She's like, no, that was just Victor. And he said, I'll tip my hat to that man. We just go with it to have fun. Like you said, the expectation to enjoy yourself, the expectation to allow yourself to experience the world that you're in and the place that you're in, right? Because the staff is amazing. As you're going with Mickey and Mallory, if you're on CSW, they're amazing. You're going with Kate, she's amazing. You're going to run into all the people that make it an amazing time, all the hosts and all the staffs. And no matter what you do, I think it's really hard to have a bad time in Edo and you have to make almost a choice or you have to become deathly ill. Those are the only two times you can't really have a good time. Yeah, I agree with that. And look, I think that leads us straight out of the conversation today. So thank you very much, Christine. Thank you, Victor, for joining us on the podcast. Thank you for sharing your week. I hope that you guys get back to tip top shape and I'll see you in October. Sounds good. Thanks for having us. Thank you. Friends, I hope that you enjoyed those interview sessions rather than us doing a complete recap of my time on site. But I will be talking soon about some of the fun after the event that I had. Daryl and I are off in a couple of days to snowboard. We're going to Chamonix, so wish us luck for some good powder. And we also have the SDC World Party coming up in April that we're doing. I think there's like 2,000-ish swingers going to that, so we're extending that. And then I've got a UK Swingers Mansion Takeover Party on the 18th of April that I am arranging. So lots coming up in April, lots more stories to share with you. In the meantime, if you are listening on Spotify, please head it over to the episode. You can actually leave comments on the episode itself. So if you're listening on Spotify, jump on over, leave me a comment. I will reply when I see it. Or if you want to support the show, head over to Patreon or check out any of our sponsors and links in the show notes today. Outside of that, I hope that you guys are happy, healthy, swinging well, and we'll catch you on the next episode. Bye, guys.