Hey friends, In today’s episode we answer a bunch of listener questions received on email, through our website, Twitter and Instagram. We cover some great questions on today’s episode talking about jealousy, how to have day sex at Desire Resorts and what turns us off having a Swinger date with people. We also review a… Read more
Transcript
You're listening to Swinging Down Under, a podcast about the swinging, non-monogamous lifestyle from two crazy Australians with over four years of lifestyle antics to keep you entertained, informed, angry, happy and horny. Join our international swinging adventures. And welcome. I'm C, crazy female Australian sheila and believer of all things love, balance and sexy times. And this is Dee. I'll be doing my best to keep the dad jokes to a minimum, which is probably going to be highly unlikely.
Along with that, I'll keep C and check where I can. Did I mention I'm a pilot?
We'll be your podcast host for today so sit back and enjoy the sweet sweet melodies g'day guys welcome to episode 81 yes welcome happy to be here as always we are actually testing out some new equipment today i was pretty goddamn excited to order this online from when did i order this new year's yes you did yeah and so this has traveled all the way from melbourne to sydney in australia and then from sydney to singapore so yeah absolutely it's a pretty exciting thing really d does not care at all not at all he's put some strict limitations on the number of times i'm allowed to play with the buttons on the mixing board um so i'll do my best i'm gonna say to say no more than two to three times in this episode.
I'm going to say less than one time in this episode. Less than one? Okay. Yeah. That's what we're aiming for as a target. Well, awesome. So today's episode, we're talking about listener questions, a bit of a mailbag episode. Then we're going to do a sex toy review on the new Lovance Nora.
And then at the end we're going to do a social media buzz we're going to talk about some unusual things in the lifestyle that nobody tells you when you first kick off so welcome episode 81 let's get started with the questions we've got about five to go through today five or six so thanks everyone for sending these through um the first one is actually from from jack and i did respond to this one on email but we want to answer it out for the listeners as well.
Jack actually said one time that we spoke about playing during the day at Desire, and he said, you know, we've mentioned it on previous podcasts. We did, actually. We spoke about it in 2017, and again in 2018, and Jack's asking us, you know, they've got some, they're thinking about heading back to Desire, Riviera, Maya. been before, and last time the whole like, you know, starting to play until, starting to play at 12 midnight, 1am, 2am, like it's a bit shitty.
And so he was saying, you know, what are some ways that we could possibly instigate day play? I mean, the real way to do it is simply to ask.
I think that's, I don't know, I can add much more than that it's a pretty simple scenario you can dick around or just ask somebody if they're open to day play so i went into a little bit more detail than that as as i'm sure everybody's shocked yeah i'm sure everyone's really shocked well the thing about day play is yes you're absolutely right you can just ask right but you need to make those connections first of all now if you're running a short session at desire you're only there for three days your first day is wiped out by trying to make enough connections to even ask if they want to play so my recommendation is always to go into the desire forums first find people that are going at the same time as you see if they look interesting to you then reach out and try to build that connection before you hit the ground you disagree totally disagree with that you think you're setting up expectations yep okay because people are not uh ever who they appear to be on social media or on online chat forums or anything like that they're always uh different when you meet them and that is the perils of actually uh connecting with people or groups before heading to a resort or a party.
And actually, Swinger Diaries just released episode 70 of their podcast and in the third section they talk about this exact thing. So setting up unknowingly, perhaps setting up expectations on people's persona. Otherwise, when you get there, absolutely make those connections early. Set up a dinner date for four people. Invite them to dinner. At dinner, at dancing, having drinks, ask them, hey, we're really interested to play with you guys.
And we'll see you maybe at 10 11 12 noon tomorrow you know can you stop by uh our room and come and play yeah that's uh that's the way you'd go i mean certainly still turning up in the middle of the day for play doesn't necessarily mean that you're just going to play I'm sure there's you know some social aspects to that first rather than just walking into a room and fucking that's exactly what I was about to say next so the next thing is then you know sometimes people freak out about day play I personally the first few times we've done it it's a bit weird because in normal swinging etiquette in the way you know the the parties flow it's always like night time thing and so day play is a little bit out of character and so it does make you a little bit nervous it's unusual it's new it's only out of character because everyone's scared of being seen naked and during the day that's exactly what i said to them so you know how do you set up your room then how do people feel more comfortable?
How do you make it inviting? Put on some music, draw the curtains, da-da. Get a game out. Do you have a da-da button? I have an applause button. No, that's not going to work. Yeah, exactly right. People may feel a little bit self-conscious.
So, you know, one of the ways to get around that is then to close the curtains, better lighting in there, make it a little bit softer, have some music playing, have a bottle of champagne in there too, maybe play a card game, something like that that's going to... Champagne? I mean, what are we, fucking Oprah? We're just splashing money around everywhere. We are, Oprah. I forget to tell you all the time. But yeah, that's the best way. I mean, it is about asking people.
Obviously, you have to make those connections first. So really do try to make the connections as quickly as you possibly can. Find people that you're interested in and that you may want to play with, if that's your goal, and then move forward. If you're talking to somebody in the pool or the hot tub and you quickly realise... So what does moving forward mean? Like ask them to dinner. Ask them to dinner or ask them to play the next day?
Well, see, my recommendation is when you first get there, make the connection, ask them to dinner. At dinner and dancing, ask them to play the next day. Now it's dinner and dancing. Yes, but at the same time, on that dinner and dancing and in the hot tub in the afternoon, you're still making connections with other people. So basically you're constantly trying to be one foot forward a little bit. I would step back a little bit and establish something else first. What's that?
That they're going to be there tomorrow. Good point, yeah. Check in when people are going to be leaving. That's absolutely right. It's like the first question. Yeah. How long are you guys here for? Oh, good, yeah. That's true. No, you should absolutely understand that because if they're only there for one day or they're leaving the next morning, then the chances of day play are really unlikely. Yeah, we've made that failure before. Actually, that was a swinger failure. We've done that before.
Not good. So thanks, Jack. That was awesome. Good question. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, good luck with it. Yeah, good luck with your second trip to Desire Riviera Meyer.
Hope you guys managed to get some day sex in yeah next question is from mr ice cream and at the moment he said for the context we're comfortable playing with each other in a group of people but we're yet to play with other people at this point you know like actually engage with other people they are also heading to a resort now the female mrs ice cream i guess has experienced that she's kind of interested in some female female play and she's acting like she's wanting to do it but she's having some trouble getting her head around it he's interested in it but he's not sure that he wants to kind of force or feel like he's forcing her to do it or like he's encouraging too much kind of wants to allow her some space but gently gently so he's saying you know how do I keep the conversation open and sexy without pressing an agenda or should he have an agenda you know if they're off to their resort again they might have a time limitation and she has a fantasy she wants to play out with a female you know how should he try to encourage but not not push I think this might need to come from a female perspective because no matter how a man plays it it's going to be seen as you're trying to push even if you don't say anything then the the back end to that is that there's a concern that you're pushing i i think you need to take the sexes out of this you know um i don't think it technically matters that it's a him and that it's a her and that she's you know i don't think that matters it's a moot point to me i guess you know i think it does matter because women have typically have a different reaction to to this sort of thing to what to what men do in my experience so only going on my experience means that i would be concerned that if you pushed the matter you would be seen as pushing it and if you didn't push the matter would possibly be seen as pushing it even though you're not pushing it.
So you're saying that he's fucked, basically? Well, no, I think the only way that you can talk about it is to talk about experiences around it. You know, anything else about the event other than the things that, you know, there's concerns over at this point. I don't know that you can... I get what you're saying.
I think the big thing here is like in your experience and as a guy, and I've informed you before, I want to give this a go, but I've also said to you, hey, I've got these concerns or I'm having trouble getting my head around it or I'm feeling a bit slutty or whatever the reasons are. How have you as a guy supported me in that without sounding like you're just either abandoning it, you know, kind of do what you want to do when you want to do.
Because also the risk here, I think, is that if you just take a step back and almost ignore it, then there could possibly be a perception that, you know, you're not into it either or you don't want to see it happen or, you know, it's just not of an interest to you.
So I think there is an element of, you know, know yes you're going to have to have a bit of pushing yeah well I mean it's it's a tough one I mean you can't if you push you push right so if you don't want to be seen to push and you're concerned that your partner might freak out because of the push then really you have no option but not to but if your partner's somebody who typically won't do anything without a little nudge then i mean this is all about context i don't know their relationship or anything it's it depends on your relationship if you've got a relationship that's a that's a typical push-pull relationship then go ahead and push if you don't and you know the person you're with you have to discuss everything with and talk through it then that's what you've got to do I mean there's I don't think there's a cure-all for this you've you've got to play it the way your partnership runs I mean our partnership typically is we discuss it and then it's not normally something that I can push because if I push it I end up in a scenario where you believe you're being pushed and that is the end of it well i guess then um some some tips that we or i could probably offer in in that regard then is maybe a good opportunity for you guys is to continue with perhaps the the discussion of sexy talk you know i mean if is there a way to look at some porn engage in this in the bedroom you know doing some role play some talk.
I think you have to be careful of that as well. You do, you do, absolutely. Because that is just another form of pushing. I mean, certainly when it comes to some of my fantasies around single man play, it gets to a point where you tell me that you've had enough of it. The way that you could do it then, maybe some other questions and probing questions, you know, what about it interests you? What about it turns you on? And just ask those.
When you're at Desire, you know, on the first day and you're chatting around the pool, I mean, maybe speak to your spouse and say, you know, hey, what do you think about these people? You know, do you find them attractive? Do you find them interesting? And then try to go from there, I guess. Navigating her, just playing with a woman as well.
You know, there's some discussions around that because if you do find a couple obviously desire is couples generally uh you know they do allow a third single lady upon request you know generally going to come across a couple and so if it's just the two females interacting you know how does that play out how does that look like and and that discussion probably needs to be had with that other couple as well so that the other gentleman is very well aware that he will not be engaging in in your.
And then, you know, to what extent are you going to push that? Is it just going to be a makeout session in the hot tub or is it going to be some soft play as well? Yeah, I think that's just got to play it by ear, unfortunately. It's a relationship scenario and you have to dig into your relationship and understand it. Talking is one thing, but there's an awful lot of nonverbal cues that we all know of our partners that you have to take into account as well. It needs to be worked through. Yeah.
So thanks, Mr. Ice Cream. Really appreciate that. And again, good luck with your trip as well. We've got a lot of trips to desire happening here in this question and answer session. Yeah, we do. The next one here is actually from Mike and it's about STIs. Now I've already responded to Mike on email about this, but Dee, I'm happy to, and I'm curious to get your thoughts on the matter. I'm not going to go into the whole detail here, but I'm going to summarize it.
Basically, he runs a lifestyle group in a certain location.
One of the couples has mentioned that someone in the group has an STI that perhaps they may or may not be sharing with other couples, and this coming forth hand to Mike so he's curious really how does he how does he handle this you know should he is it appropriate to ask a couple for a copy of their latest STI check if they have one you know should they supply it first you know and the other couple has informed us formed them that the infected couple you know has has mentioned names of people that they've played with in the past.
So, you know, does this person have a responsibility to share this information? Again, it's coming forthhand to him and really it's a bit of a doozy. What are your thoughts? Let's start with STI testing. STI testing is something that is absolutely critical for people who are involved in any sort of sexual relationship, monogamous or not. It's a requirement of you being happy and healthy and believing that your partner is also happy and healthy.
If you had any other transmittable disease, sexual or not, you would do your best to not give it to your partner. So for example, if you've got the common cold, you're going to do your best not to give that common cold to your partner, right? That's just being a thoughtful partner. Okay. So that's absolutely the case that STI testing is important.
However, STI test papers are not worth the paper they're printed on because as soon as you have had that test, even if you test clear, you may go home and play with your own partner that night who in our lifestyle may have played with somebody else at some other point and maybe not yet at the point of transmission when you originally got your test then they are the night you play with them or the day or you know the 15 minutes after you do that test so the paper is not worth anything because immediately as soon as it is printed it is wrong yeah potentially it's yeah it's like buying a brand new car and having no you know it's devalued the minute you drive it out of the parking lot right i mean an sti test is it's good for you and well you're gonna equate an STI test to a devaluing of a car.
I'm saying, what, the minute you walk out of that clinic. Just because they've left the clinic doesn't mean they're any less value than what they were than they were in there. I'm talking about the results themselves. Thank you very much. Maybe use a – go with something else. A different analogy? Yeah, maybe. Something about microwaves? I don't know, white goods just in general?
No, maybe just say that say that you know once you walk out of the sti testing it's no longer valid because you're it's not a full-time time of the moment testing it's a testing at a point in time if it's six months old or three months old or even a month old even a day how much sex have you had with potentially your partner and other partners in that period of time? It's just not worth the paper it's printed on. So you have to take people somewhat at their word as well.
Granted, if you're going to have unprotected sex, you may want to see some form of STI testing that gives you at least a more sound feeling that everything's going to be okay. But the real value, the real understanding of this is that it is 100% invalid as soon as it's tested. Yeah. I think with STIs, you can mitigate the risk as much as you possibly can, but you can absolutely not remove the risk. So that's the first part.
So to answer your question, I don't think that, you know, asking for STI tests, it's not really a cup of tea, Mike. You may want to try it. And yes, a good... No, you shouldn't think that you know asking for STI tests it's not really a cup of tea Mike you may want to try it and yes no you shouldn't try it because it's an invasion of their privacy and frankly speaking if somebody would ask me for that then they'd be immediately off my list of people that I wanted to be involved with anyway.
Which is interesting actually because then I think the response from the other people was well what is he what is that person what is he hiding yeah for sure that's fine i have no problem with their response if that's their response that's also fine i have nothing to hide my concern is that there is an innate level of trust that goes into our style of lifestyle you have to have some level of trust in the people that you're with. That doesn't mean they shouldn't be tested.
Of course they should be tested, and they should be tested regularly. As with anyone who's in a higher sexual aptitude or is having sex more regularly, they should be tested more regularly. Absolutely. That is for your peace of mind to disclose to people in any way you see fit.
in my case if somebody were to be that distrusting of me then the answer would be no yeah i'd also like to throw in here while we're talking about this location that the that mike's actually from they actually do free sti testing in this particular place too so you know to your point earlier absolutely get them done but i'd also like to throw in there guys can we just please get prostates pap smears and breasts checked as well just throwing that out there it is extremely important please get it checked well I recently had a a lump that thankfully has reduced in size in my in my left breasts and that was like thank god you know thank god we found it thank god it's reduced no danger there so I mean it's it's super important um the second part of that was, you know, the couple that, you know, told them through other people has mentioned that they played with other people and, you know, what do they do about it?
What's their responsibility? I mean, the same thing goes for a party host, right? You know, yes, you have all people coming to you if you're arranging an event, if you're group admin, if you have people around your house. My point to this though is you didn't hear this firsthand. You heard it fourth hand. You don't know what this other couple who hasn't even played with the couple in question, mind you, you don't know what their motives are for telling you or the other people that told them.
And also, it's a bit of a tattletale situation you've got going on here, too. So my recommendation is if you hear something not from the horse's mouth, just disregard it and move on with your life. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, if you believe that that affects your trust with that particular couple, then yeah, I mean, don't play with that couple. But there is no way that you can navigate this without either destroying your relationship with them or destroying their relationship with the group.
Now, if you wish to and you are courageous enough, and I admire you if you are, and if you feel you can do it and go and talk to them and actually ask the question, that's something that's possible. I mean, I don't really see an issue with that. Make the explanation very soft so that they understand that you're not challenging their STI status. Perhaps maybe you're just investigating something on behalf of your group to make sure that everybody's going to be safe in it.
That's about the only way you could go, I think, and get some form of answer, but I think you're playing with fire by doing that. A softer prompt too, just thinking about what you're saying, is that maybe because, you know, this particular person is looking after a group of people as a group admin, you know, could you perhaps, I don't know if you have newsletters or you're sending information out readily, but on your group, is this something that you could just put up as a general information?
Like, hey, we went, you know, we went and had our STI testing done today. Make sure you get checked up, whatever. Also get your breast checked, you know, that sort of thing. It depends whether they have an STI and they're concealing it or not. That's a different story, isn't it? Yeah, absolutely. So thanks, Mike, and I really appreciate that question. It is a bit of a doozy.
Whenever things like this are involved and third-hand, fourth-hand information, it's a bit tough to navigate, but good luck.
Never trust the rumour mill because you can be sure that somebody's pissed somebody off and somebody's decided to get back at them by coming up with the worst STI that they could think of, whatever that might be, and they've thrown that into the mix occasionally and and it may not even be the people that that have originally brought it to you it may be somewhere along the chain of communication that it went from well we had chlamydia we had chlamydia and we got it to test it and we we gave it to each other and you know we've sorted the problem and it's gone away and then and then that was five years ago five years ago before we even got in the lifestyle and that turns into something much more ferocious I'll see you next time.
you know we've sorted the problem and it's gone away and then and then that was five years ago five years ago before we even got in the lifestyle and that turns into something much more ferocious much more sinister and you know that that's where it comes from so yeah um a lot of our communication we have in the lifestyle is done in in places that are not quiet in bars in i was about to say discos but oh my god i know it's only because this is what people call it at desire so anyway at the discotheque you know there's a lot of communications that happen in there as well and cross wires can happen yeah they're not only can they happen between the original people who are talking about it in the secondary but from there on in it's just whispers and we've all seen how whispers change along the way absolutely let's move on to the next one so this one's from a and r and they're saying they're not that experienced and they want some advice uh they love our podcasts they've learned a ton they're having some problems with a couple that they've played with a few times i did go back and clarify um they have played with this couple i think two or three times and they're happy for us to talk about this they're having uh some about a couple they've been sleeping with i can only apologize sorry sorry guys uh the other couple of wet fish so basically she lays there she's star fishing doing really not much no passion no interest or it feels like and uh the other husband is also expecting the same really that they're really not doing a lot they're saying that they don't want to lose them as friends but really they don't want to continue having sex like this because it is it's not great and so they're saying you know how can we fix this how do we kind of move forward i have a question to to pose for this straight away have you asked them what they're into good keep going that train of thought because if you haven't then it's likely that you're not providing them or they're not asking for something that might actually turn that wet fish into a flailing barramundi you know you've you've got to be careful here in this lifestyle that you don't assume that what your partner enjoys is what everybody else's partner enjoys we've all been caught by that and anyone who says they haven't is is um well either a fucking superstar or a liar you know we've all done things wrong we've all think thought we're doing not wrong you've done something that that you know your partner goes crazy about and then and then you get somebody else and it's like boring and they're like cool let's go knit a sweater yeah yeah absolutely so you've got to make sure that you first establish what they're into i mean if they're into they're just laying there you know I'm sorry.
and they're like cool let's go knit a sweater yeah yeah absolutely so you've got to make sure that you first establish what they're into I mean if they're into they're just laying there you know then yeah clearly perhaps they're not the right well they want to stay friends though so if that is the case so say they do go and have a conversation about hey what do you like in the bedroom and you know their discussion is we just want to lay there then you know how do they move forward with being friends and not hurting their feelings and everything else you just got to be honest i think that's the only way to move forward with this because that's what friendship's about it's about trust and honesty and so you just got to say to them hey guys that friendship's not about honesty that's a lie what it's not about honesty what's it about friendship is not about honesty most friendship groups are not about honesty what are they about then they're about lying manipulating and stabbing jesus christ that's what most friendship groups are about but we're not in a friendship group this is a this is a um sexually charged environment it's a different scenario this is not a standard friendship group because otherwise if it were all the ladies in this lifestyle would be telling you all of the problems you have with your body okay i see where you went i see where you went with that saying that lifestyle friends can some bit somehow be more um open than perhaps normal friends but the way you went about that conversation holy shit that was negative so the other the other thing that i did recommend because i already responded on email was that i think a good way you're in a four-person kick chat you know group chat start sexting and you know between you and your partner no no so say like for us for example i start sexting with you you're responding i'm sexting backwards and forwards and and talk about the things that you want to do or play out a play out a sex session on the text in the four-way chat so what if your partner can't sext write an email to d at swingingdownunder.com and he'll give some handy hints actually i do want you to write a blog about how to do better sexting me do better sexting like how no so advice for people aren't great at sexting you know an idea of a blog but so that's a really long blog because it starts with how to flirt and then from how to flirt it goes to how to how to I like I look forward to reading the draft of that but to finish up for A&R that's what I recommended and that's the the way that they're going to go they're going to start sort of sexting in the chat they're going to say you know and then they're going to kind of bring it over to the other couple and say like you know hey what would you want to do in this scenario or would this you know does this is this sexy for you or you know what would you do next kind of thing and they're going to try and engage with them to understand you know if they can make that work a little bit so what if they then decide they want to back out of this because they get we just want to lay there then yeah then just have the open and open conversation that's that's really the end game okay it's just i mean just saying that you've kind of you've got to be careful that you don't set an extreme boundary that you can't come back from.
Because if you become this all-encompassing sexta that everyone's like, wow, this is the most amazing chat we've ever had. And then you go from there to, hey, guys, terribly excited by how you fuck, you would probably backfire a little bit in terms of the friendship recovery. All right. Well, good luck, A&R, and let us know how that goes. Send us an email. We really want to hear back about that, whether or not you turned the wet fish into, what do you say, flaming hot barramundi?
Just flailing barramundi, yeah. Or leaping barramundi, if it's easier for you to say. Take your pick.
us know how they don't bound though because they don't have legs they don't no this next one uh these next two questions are from from instagram so they follow us on our instagram account and um i can't pronounce this username it's like gleed and lily or something like this so gleed and lily she said do you guys ever experience jealousy by the way sd is my favorite podcast jealousy that's a really interesting topic let's just get over to the sd is our favorite podcast bit i'm much happier In the other bit.
Thank you, Glitter Lily. I don't know how to pronounce your Instagram now. I'm sorry. Jealousy. Do you want to sound it out? No. Shut up. We actually, I do want to do a podcast about jealousy. I think that the term jealousy is used probably too often. I think there's other forms of jealousy that maybe we need to have a look at a more broader scope. So jealousy, envy, all these kinds of emotions that can come with a feeling of either worthlessness or not worthy or things of this nature.
So I'm going to have to answer you pretty simply because I think it's a bit of a big discussion. Do we ever get jealous? Absolutely. I do. Hand on my heart. I have no problem saying that. Sometimes, you know, we see, I see people and I think, God, that person is very attractive. They're very intelligent, all of these positive things. And then I flip that and I think, well, I'm not at that level. And so therefore I'm envious or jealous or all these types of things.
For example, there's a couple at the moment that want to see us for drinks in two hours so there's a lady right now and she's a model she wants to catch up with us and it just it's a couple but it's a couple but she happens to model as part of she she models and so initially my reaction to that is holy shit i i don't know you know am i going to be enough am i going to be attractive enough thin enough have i got nice clothes All of that crap that sits around in your head and makes you think I'm not worthy, yes, those things float around in your mind.
But in terms of- And then on the other side of the spectrum, you've got me sitting here thinking, well, if I look at her too much or if I compliment her too much on the evening, then that's only going to reinforce that jealousy. And unfortunately, that could drive a discussion that C and I need to have later in the evening. So there's other aspects to this as well that I think Kate is right. You really have to delve into this.
It's not as simple as just saying I'm jealous because of, but there's also what is the ramification here to the discussion at the table and also the discussion of your relationship? How do you navigate it? How do you navigate it? Well, to flip that, so I've answered the question. So she's asking now, do you get jealous, Dee? Aside from your flip out from four years ago, do you get jealous? Yes, absolutely I do. I mean, regularly, more regularly than I care to admit.
I just process it in a different way to Kate. I generally take it, put it in myself, walk away, think about it, process, process, then come back and discuss. I do that in many ways. I sometimes write notes. I sometimes just keep things in my head. I sometimes write myself emails, sometimes write myself notes on my iPhone, you know, whatever it is that I feel can help me get that discussion to a point where I can discuss it internally and make it go away.
It just comes down to how you deal with it. But for me, I have to rationalize it. You know, I've got an engineering background and been fixing things my whole life. That's how I process it. I take it away. I pull it apart. I fix it and I put it back together. Yeah.
And I think that, you know, it's important to, for everybody out there listening as well that jealousy and and being envious it's not a shameful thing don't be ashamed of this because you know think about every day when you're walking around metropolitan city and you see somebody who has nice clothing or a better car or a better house or whatever these perceptions are that you have there's a there's an element of being envious to that person in there and the lifestyle can really exacerbate that it makes it come to the forefront because you really start you can start to compare yourself or your relationship or whatever the case may be you may even then question why is your partner with you versus not somebody else so jealousy happens it's just how you process it how you deal with it both within yourself and and as a couple that that really matters but it nothing to be shameful about.
I think the biggest thing is understanding your process and working through it. We all have a process. Well, thanks, Glidelily. Glidelily. I don't know how. Okay. Thank you. So there's other ones from our Instagram account as well. And this is from DZertBro. He has written, what are some of your no-no rules when meeting potential playmates? Some of my no-no rules. If they come smelly, then I'm out. Yeah, that's true. Smelly, late. If they're rude to the late start. Too late, sorry.
Yeah, too late. And late without explanation. You know, if you're, frankly speaking, if you're anything later than 45 minutes, even with explanation, you didn't leave on time to start. Yeah. You know, granted, there are some explanations that contraband that, like, for example, our babysitter turned up late. Yep. You know, there are things around this.
I'm not hard and fast, but frankly, if you're 45 minutes late and there's no real justification behind that, you weren't that interested in to start with yeah the other thing for us too is is feeling like there is actual engagement before we meet the people as well you know if we're having a very one-sided conversation or it's super tough to get information out of them or we've got to be the the constant conversation starters and they're just basically answering our questions i'm probably not going to meet them because but we won't make it to the meet so that's what I'm saying.
So don't answer the question that's not on the paper, babe. It says, what are your no-no rules? We're meeting potential playmakers. Yeah, so... But they wouldn't make it to the meet. They wouldn't. But yeah, I think that's probably about... Sorry, it's only because you told me that I have to answer it as it was written, so... I think that's about it, to be honest. I think it's either unkempt, smelly, extremely late with no reason, or rude the waitstaff. Just rude to anyone. Yeah.
I mean, asking me whether I've bashed my wife recently is probably a fairly good example of that, which actually has happened. Which has happened. Thank you. Oh, you're still going? Yeah. I mean, there's plenty of other things. Their ears are too big. Their ears are too small. Oh, sod off. You're such a liar.
If they've they've got food in their beard food in your beard food in the beard is come on tell me that food in the beard isn't it just real quick before we move on because we this is getting a bit crazy a crumb in a beard versus an entire length of spaghetti where are you at just no no food no food at all food ban i think if you've got the ability to grow a beard you've got the ability to comb out a fucking length of spaghetti. I'm just checking.
I'm getting the feeling, though, by your wind-up signal and the fact that you're holding up the vibrator box that you'd like to move on. I do want to, but thanks, everyone, for your questions. Really appreciated it. Anyone else out there, if you want to ask us something, please do send an email through to cnd at swingingdownunder.com and we'll get back to you. Yeah, I just want to go back to the first question. There's a few things I want to cover there. Really? No. Oh. Dighead. Sex toys.
We purchased a bunch of new sex toys and I'm going to... By we, Kate, means I. You did, yes. You spent a shit ton of money from our PayPal account. This is the thing... Actually, this happened on New Year's too. And if you'd like to donate to our PayPal account, it's not any of the email addresses you know. No, it's not. So, Dee purchased a whole bunch of toys from Lovance. Now, I have been...
I'm slowly going through using these toys and then i'm also going to be writing blog posts about them but i'm also going to talk about them on some of our podcasts as well so this particular one so the lovins is the brand the type here is called nora n-o-r-a now all of the toys that you bought me d are all like bluetooth enabled and all the rest of it can you like run through all of that tech jazz before I talk about the actual toy? Yes, yes, I can. So basically, yes, you're right.
All of the things that I've purchased for you are remote enabled. Thanks.
That means that you're able to turn them on, turn them off, change the tone frequency, even play music through them if you really want to do it and by play music through them i mean the vibrator or the the toy will change its frequency its movement its bass tones and everything with the music that you're playing so it allows you to engage with someone when remote away from them you know some of these are this particular one is an external vibrator and, sorry, it's a internal dildo with an external vibrator that's meant to be a clip vibrator and you can adjust both of those independently also you can adjust the vibration levels you can adjust the different the different pulse patterns and things like that remotely via an app on an iphone or android or There's a whole lot of you can do it with your computer as well actually with another app what it allows you to do is i suppose tailor the vibrator or the the dildo to what best suits you and you don't have to be in the same house or the same room to actually use this you can physically be in another country and you can be controlling that toy with the mobile phone.
Provided each person. So the person on the receiving end has to have their mobile phone enabled and engaged with the vibrator slash dildo. The person on the other end is then able to communicate to their phone via wider area network, which is commonly called the World Wide Web. So you technically could buy this for a play partner in another city and potentially use this? Another city in another country. There are some country limitations, though.
So, for example, I believe the process is actually not available in places like, well, in China.
I don't think you can actually access it i think it's blocked by so places where sex toys might actually be illegal like cambodia for example so now i'm actually going to talk about the the vibrator itself um as dee mentioned it actually is a um it's an internal and external vibrator it's a rabbit so it's a rabbit so according to them it's the original bluetooth rabbit vibrator which is the case yeah absolutely so it's uh it's pink and white the charger on the bottom i'll start with that is actually quite good um it's as similar as uh some of the other sex toys that we've used that have the two-prong charger they don't insert it just sits on it this one is magnetized that made it a hell of a lot easier i think man you are in the detail on this i just want to mention that because that was a standout for me that the fact that that's the fucking standard if that's the standout then it's got a long way to go to be a good get ready folks so that was really good is the magnet on the bottom it charges it yeah apparently it lasts for up to two hours but who's who's checking that now this people who play for two hours this particular toy it's got a rotating head as well as vibrations uh they say it is uh discreetly quiet that's that's uh according to according to the box and according to the marketing collateral i'm just going to turn this vibrator on i got it in front of me and i'm going to make the head rotate and i want you guys to just to hear whether or not you think this is uh quiet let's see whisper quiet so put this at the same level the same place as your mouth is right now just to give everybody an indicator all right yeah so i'm not going to turn the volume up i'm just literally going to turn the toy on that's starting that's level one there we go that's level two that's the end wiggling um i might actually also take some twitter video of this but that's not discreet oh it's not discreet at allreet at all.
It's not even close to discreet. I mean, if I heard that going, I mean, I can hear that in the other room. Literally, I walked into the other room and I could hear you playing with that. There we go. So that's the toy currently being discreet. Now, that's without having the vibrator on as well. That's just the rotating head. So that's the, it's not quiet.
It's it's not it's definitely not quiet and as they they mark it on the box it's sure as fuck not discreetly quiet um it is oh your mum's gonna hear that it's gonna be loud yeah people are gonna know so if you decide to take that particular toy away on a family vacation they will hear that vibrator there's absolutely no doubt in my mind if it turns on in your bag t to be rubber gloving up. Yeah. So now that I've spoken about a con, I'm going to go back to a pro, which is that it is waterproof.
It feels really nice. The texture is great. So moving on from that though, the con is that I really, I found that this particular rabbit vibrator, it just doesn't hit my clit.
I don't think that it hit anyone's clit that's right so we we pushed this in all the way we pulled it out slightly we moved it around we tried to maneuver the clit because it is quite flexible not the clit oh sorry not the clit yeah my clit's super flexible we moved around the actual uh the rabbit bit the ears i guess what do you call this but the external clitoral vibrator thank you very much and and we tried to get it to sit and it just wouldn't so it would not actually you know give me any pleasure vibrating on my clip which is a real shame because so we have a rabbit vibrator for sale going cheap i'm gonna i'm gonna keep using this i want to give it a few more shots before i decide that it's not for me and then you're going to give it to one of our friends like you normally and then i may give it to one of our friends rating for this one pretty expensive as well so in terms of the the cost versus the actual toy itself it's fucking expensive actually it's a i think it's a that was about 130 us right right so like not yeah not cheap um so a pretty sizable investment for something that really didn't actually get me off um i stopped actually playing with this and i changed it up and got a new vibrator.
I am actually a fan of a rabbit. I do enjoy the internal stimulation as well as something being on my clit. It feels really awesome. So the fact that this was slightly disappointing was not great. Slightly disappointing. It was disappointing to me. I mean, how are you going to scale this? Is this a one out of, is this a one to five scenario or is this a one to 10 scenario?
I mean, you haven't even figured out a scale before getting involved in this i'm gonna say that my my sex toy scale is going to be one to five one to five yeah and i'm gonna say that this is a two a two this is a two what the fuck does it have to do if to be a one electrocute your vagina no not on purpose i mean for one would be something that is not well for, a 1 definitely wouldn't have as good of a charger as this. Oh, fuck. I mean, the texture, I mean, it's clearly made very well.
You know, all of these sorts of things has been designed well in terms of everything else about it, except for the fact that it doesn't sit on my clit very well. So, yeah, this gets a 2 because of the fact that it is expensive. So it's loud, it doesn't work, and you changed it out. Yep.
the saving grace is the the battery is the charger that this it's very the the texture of it is actually quite nice and i think if you use this just as a dildo without moving it around at all it'd actually go semi okay so that's why it gets a two and not a one okay i would have given it like a zero you're gonna give it a zero yeah fucking hell for that sort of money um you want something that's either right for the for the majority of ladies or has the ability been to be maneuvered to make it fit more appropriately yeah so i'm gonna play with that and i'll get back to you guys and i'm also going to write a blog about all of the lovin's toys that uh daryl purchased on news when he was drunk horny Let's move on.
The next section is social media buzz. Okay, this one. Why do you not have a little bee on the touchpad yet? Don't fucking make me. You haven't used any of the touchpads? Because I'm worried that you're going to, like, I don't know, somehow punch me. Lose my shit? Yeah, lose your shit. Crickets. It's not crickets. It's birds chirping. This is the problem. I think it's crickets. No, it's definitely birds chirping. So hit us up if you think that's birds chirping.
Just send it to C at Swinging Down Under. The title of this one's subject is Unusual Things They Don't Tell You About the Lifestyle.
This is from Firestarter69starter 69 fucking hilarious i loved reading this uh there is actually 155 comments on this particular item which is actually quite a lot i'm going to read these dot points you're going to tell me a quick few words about what you think about them d let's play a little game ready ready okay vanilla friends that find out about your lifestyle have one or two reactions they are worried we're going to hit on them or they want they want us to hit on them.
But most of the time, it's not going to happen. Well, we haven't had any vanilla friends find out yet, so it's not really a problem. Do you think that any of our friends, if they found out, would want you to hit on them? Yeah, not me. I have some vanilla friends that I'm sure would want you to hit on them. Point two, there's complicated crossovers with varying and sometimes conflicting rules and etiquettes between the lifestyle community, e.g. hot wife, cock old, BDSM, LGBTQI communities.
Yes, there are totally conflicting. I mean, you only have to go and do a quick read of Urban Dictionary for any of those things that you've mentioned, and there's total contradiction all the way through it.
It's just an absolute, just make up a word and use it point three all women are bisexual and no men are bisexual brackets sarcasm intended yeah there's a big world of sarcasm there there's certainly a lot more uh there's a lot more men in the lifestyle that are okay with uh male-to-male play that then then would at first meet the eye and additionally there are certainly some women out there I think who do it because they feel it's a requirement rather than because they're actually really engaged and certainly we've had a couple of women along the way who felt who didn't feel that way or didn't certainly didn't vocalize it but they were They're definitely less interested in being involved with you than with me.
Yep. So I think absolutely there's plenty of men out there that are interested in this sort of play and there's plenty of women that aren't. A white comforter was a terrible idea and we spent a fuckload of time changing the sheets in our room, in our spare room. Yeah, that was a fucking terrible idea, I'll agree. It's true about the sheets though.
When we used to have people come over, like you change the sheets in our room in our spare room yeah that was a fucking terrible idea i'll agree it's true about the sheets though um when we used to have people come over like you change the sheets before they get there and you change them after they leave like you're literally using three sets of sheets just for the one fucking and a lot to wash uh we should always travel with basic necessities lube condoms toothbrush medication and anything else we need for an unplanned overnight i concur with that um we generally do travel with all of those, but mainly because we generally have protected sex even between us, just because of Kate's vagina constantly being an angry vagina.
It doesn't do that clasping thing that you did with your fingertips. I'm not so sure it may do it. Let me see here.
If we were actually being murdered at 4 a.m none of our neighbors would notice or call the police yeah i think our neighbors would i think our neighbors would probably come near calling the police on us for just some of our i think if we set a dinner party uh we can walk into a room 1 000 people and not find a couple we both find attractive yeah absolutely yep actually we've had a higher number than that cheating is somewhat prevalent in the lifestyle and some get off on the taboo of unpermitted activity more than the sex act.
No. I disagree. I've actually never heard of anyone who has actually been cheated on when the couple, both of the couple, oh, sorry, the two partners are actually in the lifestyle because I would assume that you can just have a conversation and deal with it. If anyone out there has a different opinion, please do drop us an email. Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, maybe we've just been really lucky, but certainly all the people we've been around have been very honest with their partners, in some cases way too honest. Drunk encounters are a terrible idea. Yeah, I mean, certainly if you're the man part of the couple, if there is a man part, alcohol plus erect penis equals unerect penis. Okay. Swinging is expensive. A good month equals a lot of hotel bar, restaurant, lingerie club, and toy charges. Yes.
We just told you how much that one toy cost that wasn't so great. Which was ludicrous. Yep. At least half. I wonder if I can send it back. Use once. Basically brand new. Yeah, warranty. It's used once. It doesn't work.
it doesn't do what it's supposed to do actually some warranty laws would actually allow for that would apply yeah maybe if we were in the u.s we could do that yeah but you've got like if you think about uh togs you know buying togs if you buy them you want to explain what togs are to anyone who doesn't live in north queensland australia swimsuit. If you buy a swimsuit, generally you can't return that and it's very clear. Let's see.
At least half of the new men have performance issues, especially in the club environments. Certainly new men have a lot more performance issues than men that have been around this for a while, but that may not necessarily be anything to do with the ability of the men who've been around it for a while. I think there's just some of the men that have been around it for a while have learnt to take fucking Viagra and Cialis with them or take it in general.
Smarter way to go than being sitting there without it. Women are equally guilty of touching without permission as men. Agree wholeheartedly. I would say that's more prevalent. Yep, I agree. And then the final point here is rejection hurts more than it should.
You can have four great experiences in a row and still feel shitty when you're rejected for the fifth i'd also agree with that it's it's emotions it's you're you're human you're people uh not feeling like somebody doesn't like you or they're not interested in you that shit hurts let's just be honest that's all that's social media buzz that one 155 comments i'll put the link on my uh on our show notes when i put up the podcast wow and there you go people that's one of those freudian slips you can see how this is all playing out in our everyday life here but as always everyone thank you so much for listening today if you want to drop us an email again cnd at swingingdownunder.com otherwise you can catch us on our website.
A few mentions on some events we're attending upcoming soon. We are actually heading to Naughty in New Orleans in July. We've mentioned that a few times. That's up on our website if you want to go there. We have a chat group that we've started. We're doing a meet and greet, and we're also an affiliate, so you can actually buy tickets through us if you're interested.
I also did a blog post recently about butt plugs and took a few photos, get amongst it if you're interested in checking that out and thank you so much we really appreciate the hell out of you guys thank you very much for listening and just just one more for the exit uh let me just oh my god stop please make it stop and laughter okay okay so um yeah that's enough all All right. We're out. All right, cheers, guys. Bye.
