Send us Fan MailThe Swing Nation PodcastSwingers Resort Review: Hedonism II, Negril Jamaica | Episode 11In this swinger podcast episode, Dan and Lacy of The Swing Nation visit Hedonism II in Negril, Jamaica. They give tips on how to book a trip to this swinger lifestyle resort, how to get there, and an in-depth overview of the resort. If you plan on visiting Hedo, this is a must listen episode! - Links For Hedonism -Resort WebsiteToms TripsClub Mobay VIP Airport ServicePrivate Car to Resort_______________ - The Swing Nation - Main Website Quick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links more!) Follow us on Facebook! The Podcast Website_______________ - Swinger Society - Our Website to meet, connect events Swinger Society Discord Our Facebook Group_______________ - Swinger Websites - SDCUsername: TheSwingNation** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! ** SLSUsername: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl_______________ - Merch More - The Swing Nation Merch The Swinger Pride Flags Swinger Society Merch_______________ - Lacy’s Fun Links - VIP OnlyFans PREMIUM OnlyFans _______________ -- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS -- Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testingUse Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order! Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great SexUse Code SwingNation for 5% off! Pinaq Liqueur; The Official Drink of The Swing NationUse Code TSN at checkout for 15% off! Non-monogamy Couples Course and Single Guy Mastery CourseUse Code ATLANTA for 50% off!- Thank you for the support! -
Transcript
Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. welcome to the swing nation, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to Speaker2: educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe, interview the experts, learn and grow together join the nation hey there pineapple people and welcome to the swing nation podcast we are your host northern guy and southern girl and uh today's episode we're going to give you a little overview of hedonism yep we're here right now we are in negril i looked up how to say it negril jamaica oh at hedonism 2 lifestyle resort yeah it is now friday it is and we check out tomorrow mm-hmm so sad it actually it is pretty sad pretty it's like Speaker1: been a little depressing all day yeah it's like you look forward to christmas and then when it's over you're like uh what next i feel like that's kind of where we're at right now it is about where we're at right now um so this episode we're going to kind of give you the overview the how to get here, how to find Hedo, kind of the layout of the resort what all goes on here yeah the ins and outs yeah normally when we go to like a swinger club we are we have a whole episode just on that one night we've been here for seven days so you might get a few podcasts on this one yeah so i'm thinking three i think we're going to do an overview and then i think we might have to break down like a recap of what all we did this week and maybe two more parts yeah uh so i think we might be looking at about three episodes so stay tuned if you want to know about hito we we got it um coming coming at you yeah so if you really just want to book a trip and you're not really interested in our stories and what we did this is probably the podcast for you right we're literally just going to take it from the beginning through yeah through yeah well this is the first day i guess yeah like yeah does that make sense no i get what you're saying okay all right so let's start with what is hedonism yeah what is this resort you talking about? Yeah, so it is an all-inclusive lifestyle resort. So when we say lifestyle, we mean swinger, whatever that term means to you. So there's so many variations of swinger. You might even just be an exhibitionist and want to watch or be watched. You don't have to necessarily full swap. You can self-swap. I mean, just really whatever you choose to make the lifestyle for yourself. Speaker2: Yeah, so this is a super, I mean, I think this is what you'd call a lifestyle resort. So it's very much set up for people to come here and with other couples and swap and have sex just about anywhere.
And it's, you know, there's playrooms throughout the resort. it's very much set up um for the swinger lifestyle absolutely uh yeah and it is full nude and in it um and we'll kind of break down it more but if you were just a nudist you could come here and have fun oh for sure like if you were not interested in having sex and joining the playroom just wanted to be nude um and experience that part totally could do it yes you just might need to be okay with a little bit of public sex right you're probably gonna even though if you don't go to the playrooms you're probably gonna see it here because like we'll talk about it a little bit more once we get into it but um there definitely is places all over um the campus would you call it? The property that you can have sex. Yeah. It's encouraged. It's encouraged just about everywhere. Yeah. Minus the food areas. Correct. So I guess if, you know, so now you know what Hedo is. But if they were interested in booking and wanted to come somewhere like here, how would they find out more information? Well, I mean, there's a couple of ways. One, you can go directly to their website, which is hedonism.com. And you can completely book through their website. I'm sure you can call and book if you would prefer. However, there are travel agencies that you can book through. We use Tom's Trips it's tom's trips.com and basically tom's trips is just an adult friendly uh travel agency yeah so they specialize in you know lifestyle um adult travel that's correct yeah and the nice thing i guess the difference between is if you went to just to you know hedonism and booked by yourself uh tom's trips it's like a group that they travel with uh and so it almost it's it sort of felt like we felt like we were a part of a group even though we really only knew two other couples like we were kind of included in this big group of people which was nice we kind of felt like we knew people we felt included which was nice compared to some people that we talked to did not get that same experience so um i was grateful for that but um so basically i booked tom's through tom's trips for us and michelle is the owner's wife and she handles everything so I literally just called her and was like hey we want to go and she was like okay let's do it so she set everything up sent me an invoice we paid you know our deposit and from there she really handled everything just as if you were using a normal everyday vanilla travel agency, which was really nice.
Speaker3:
Yeah.
Speaker2:
And then once we got here, they had like a schedule for the group and you had little meet and greets and things like that.
Speaker1:
Just ways to get you more involved.
Speaker3:
Yeah.
Speaker2:
Which I think, you know, we have talked to a few couples that came here on their own. And I think they did feel a little more outsider-ish.
Speaker3:
Yeah.
Speaker1:
And you don't have to do the things. There was multiple things that we did not participate in as far as Tom's Troops, but there was a lot that we did. So it was nice. And, you know, like just for an example, when you get here, they have, since you're fully nude, 90% of the time, you wear these necklaces with your names on them, and they had pre-made those for us had tom's troops beads on them and hito does provide those for people that are just checking in on their own but they're nowhere near as nice and honestly not everybody got them you had to kind of go out of your way to go find them they weren't just readily there waiting on you yeah and for the record we are in no way affiliated with uh no with tom's trip no not at all but they were wonderful like um we we really enjoyed them they were great um yeah absolutely we highly recommend tom trips we're actually thinking about taking another trip next year and more than likely we'll use tom trips again just because it was super easy, just like if you've ever made any travel arrangements with a travel agency, it's just really nice that someone else takes care of it for you.
Speaker2:
Yeah, and I do think you did go to the Hedonism website and compare the cost.
Speaker1:
I did, yeah. And it was cheaper. And we asked about that to someone that was here that is familiar with it. And they said based on the number of people in your group um they can negotiate better rates right so they can get group rates at the resorts yeah and sometimes that that cost will be less than if you had booked directly correct yeah um and then so i guess that leads perfectly into the next question we get asked about these kind of places is how much does something like this cost so we did we were not sure you know again this is our very first like you know all-inclusive out of the country resort as far as swinging goes and so we really didn't know what to expect so we just did like the cheapest room because we were like well i don't know what you know we don't know what we're doing so let's's just, so it was $214 a night per person, which ended up being about $3,500 for seven days here for the two of us. And it was pretty awesome because you paid like $500 down. And then I think you had to have it paid off by maybe June and it's October, maybe June, July. I can't really remember the day, but and it's October. So you had plenty of time to pay and you could pay you know as often as you like i would just email michelle and say hey i want to make a payment she would send me over a link i'd click on it make my payment um so it was super easy to do that yeah and and when they say all inclusive it's it's all inclusive um we really haven't paid you know minus a couple excursions and some of the trinkets and stuff we bought for our family we haven't really spent any other no um i mean like all food all um alcohol i mean the only thing i think i've heard someone say they had to pay for was a red bull um you know uh sodas are included juices are included mimosa of champagne um wine yeah there is a wine bar and i heard that like you're just normal everyday wine is free but if you obviously if you want some of the top shelf i think there is an additional charge right but i would say 95 of it is included um and there's also not a really big tipping situation here. No, they don't.
Speaker2:
I mean, you can tip like the – it seems like you tip like the taxi drivers and the bellhops. But as far as like the bartenders and the waitresses and stuff, there's no –
Speaker3:
Yeah.
Speaker2:
I've seen some people do it. I think on the website it discourages it.
Speaker1:
Yeah, yeah. I think some people have like relationships. They've been coming here for a long time with people and probably do tip some um but it's it's kind of discouraged right so really and truly we um it's all inclusive it's been wonderful right and then uh i guess the addition to that the the cost of flights to get here yeah so our flights were a little bit pricey um they were about fifteen hundred dollars for both of us i think they were like seven something a piece seven hundred and something a piece um we probably could have shopped around and got better but we just kind of wanted it done in books so we um booked in the spring so yeah so the flights were so all in all for our room and our flights it. Right. Yeah. Which is – yeah, it's expensive, but with the all-inclusive thing and free alcohol thing, depending on how much you are partaking in that. Well, we talked about it. Like, so it's 2.14 a night, and we're going to go into some of the food and stuff later, but it's, I thought, really good food. Right. Like Japanese hibachi-style food that we've ate almost every night i mean if we went out to eat that it'd be you know 30 a piece not to mention all of our alcohol and we're paying 214 a night and we're also getting lunch and breakfast and drinks and i genuinely feel like i've eaten and and drank 200 worth of food and alcohol this week, every day. Yeah, I agree. So, yeah, it is pricey. It's not something that we can do multiple times a year, but it is a nice special occasion situation. So, yeah, it's pricey, but in my opinion, worth it. Yeah, and then, so in addition to the flights in the room, right, we've probably spent, what, an extra $1,000 or since we've been here? Probably. it's pricey but in my opinion worth it yeah and then so in addition to the flights in the in the room right we've probably spent what an extra thousand dollars probably yeah we kind of went all out i mean i guess because this was like our one year anniversary trip so we did get massages by the um ocean ocean and then we got a body scrub which was i think 135 a piece um we did go on two catamaran rides which we'll talk more about in our next episodes but highly recommend them yeah those those two catamaran rides were probably some of my favorite yeah part of this trip they were 60 a piece so 120 for our first one and then because we booked the second one, we got a discount. And that was $80 for both of us, so it ended up being $40 each. So it ended up costing us $200 to go on two catamaran rides. Highly recommend it. Again, all-inclusive, food, alcohol. Drugs. Yeah, so we'll go over all that later. But that was wonderful. Stay tuned to the next couple podcasts if you want to get the recap of the catamaran rides because they were a little wild yeah so what what else did we do uh yeah so we we did the catamaran rides and then we actually left the resort and we went and did a horseback ride yeah in the ocean so if you've followed us on tiktok you can see a little bit about that like we did ziplining we went ziplining And then we did a horseback ride? Yeah, in the ocean. So if you've followed us on TikTok, you can see a little bit about that. Like, we did ziplining. We went ziplining. And then we did a horseback ride, and then we actually took the horses into the ocean, which was pretty neat. Yeah, they take the horses right into the ocean, and then they take your pictures and stuff. And that's not really associated with Hedo at all. It's an off-resort thing. But they do offer. You can book it through them and do everything and it was a free taxi ride over and it was $160 each so we pay for that we also have lunch there um so yeah so that's pretty much other than souvenirs that's really all we've spent money on yeah we got about six grand completely all in all in this in this trip not including my clothes including my clothes yeah we're not gonna talk about that which is another part that we need to go over in a whole nother thing but yeah oh yeah because the whole clothing what to pack that's like a whole thing that we need to definitely spend some time on we can maybe hit on that a little bit when we get down into the shows yeah uh so what about i know you know so for the record in case somebody hears this years from now this is 2021 it is uh october time frame um so covid is still very much a thing that's that's going on one day it won't be like i hope so back if you're if you are future people listening to this i hope i hope you're not still worrying about covid um but it is something so let's just in general i guess but uh talk about travel to jamaica but maybe because it is it is the time of the covid talk a little bit about some of the stuff they did for that yeah so we had to obviously have our passports we had to have a negative covid test within three days of arrival so we had to go and get those done um and then we had to do a travel authorization through like i think it was a travel jamaica.com i don't have it right in front of me but we had to basically go through their website and answer a bunch of questions, like confirming what countries we had been in, how if we had been exposed, if we were at a high risk. And we had to get authorization to travel within the country for them to allow us into Jamaica. So I got mad at Dan because I was a little stressed about making sure everything was in line for us to be able to go. But I think I just had anxiety. We had spent so much money and we didn't want last minute something to come up, but we were able to do it. We flew through American Airlines And they have an app that they use at verifly which was actually pretty neat compared to some of the people that we are here with who flew southwest and delta so on verifly we literally just upload our covid results upload our photo our passport all the things and like we get the clear to travel right so they they clear you pre-check-in essentially so when we got to the airport we never had to show our covid results like all of that had been taken care of prior to which was really nice um yeah it made it made flying almost seem like it was pre pre-covid days because it was all done on the front end yeah which um some of our friends had flew southwest and they said they literally had to show their covet test like four or five times yeah so that was nice so just heads up if you're gonna fly just know that like american airlines that was nice because yeah i stressed about it prior to going but once we got to the airport and we were good like they literally didn't even check it yeah um so yeah so all in all it wasn't terrible um we we like i said we had our covid test before we were negative we you know we did all our verify information and we were good to go yeah and i did they verify i think they did check it when we checked in the negative covid no she pulled it up she was asking for it and that's what we did verify and she was like oh no i mean here at keto did they check it for that no no okay i wasn't sure yeah uh and then okay so so that was the kind of the covid flights information but then we had got a pro tip from some of our friends that had been here before about how to get through customs so we flew into um montego bay and we'd heard that uh the customs there can be it can take sometimes hours to get through that uh and our friends had said if you use this service called club mom bay it's like a vip service where they essentially like hand walk you through the line it was really nice because we're you know we're like in a foreign country i liked it because literally we got off our plane and there was a lady standing there with our names. And she just did everything for us. She said, I need your passports. I need your custom form, that little white form. Your customs form. She took it and then just literally took us from our, we got off the plane all the way to our car. Yeah. She took us up to the passport place got us a stamp and and then uh
Speaker2:
through customs and then to uh to her baggage claim got our baggage and then got our bags and took us uh she actually went out of the airport and uh found our our car and then uh came back in and you know they had they have this little like it's like a lounge little less restaurant lounge thing so she brought us there once we got our baggage she said i'm gonna go check on your
Speaker1:
car and see if your car's here you know sit here have here, have a rum punch, relax. And then once your car is here, I'll come get you. And she wasn't gone five minutes. And she came back and said, okay, your car is here. Yeah, and the lounge was free. It was part of what you paid for. Which we paid, I think, $160 for. Was that each or total? I think it was total. Yeah, i think it was which if that was the total well very well worth it so i will link that website in the show notes so you can if you're ever you don't have to be going to hito to use that service it's just jamaica jamaica in general um i highly like honestly just because we didn't have to stress about it. We didn't have to be like, which way do we go? You know, just that in itself was wonderful.
Speaker2:
Not having to stand in line for two hours. Because when we got there, the line was.
Speaker1:
Yeah, so they take you around the line.
Speaker2:
Yeah, it was very, very long.
Speaker3:
Yeah.
Speaker2:
And then, so you have two options once you get to Montego Bay Airport on how to get to Hedo. It is about an hour and a half drive.
Speaker1:
They say two hours, but I think it depends on the traffic, the driver, what time of day, all that. It ended up taking us about an hour and a half, I think.
Speaker2:
I think so, yeah. And it was pretty heavy traffic.
Speaker1:
Yeah, and because, again, COVID times, Jamaica is on a...
Speaker2:
They lock down on the weekends.
Speaker1:
They lock down on the weekends to keep the partying down for the locals. So, because it was Saturday night um everybody has to be home by about like six right so we were like going through rush hour kind of yeah so everyone was heading home when we were coming through um but we were so we actually originally had booked a bus like just a group where they take know, a group of you to your hotel. But somebody had told us that they recommended the private car because it's quicker. You're not stopping at every resort on the way, dropping people off. It's just so much quicker. And since we weren't getting here until about dinner time, we wanted to get here as quickly as possible. And to be fair, it was only – so I was the bus was a hundred dollars and the private car's 150 yeah yeah so it isn't that much more of a cost and i think like what you said it took us an hour and a half and probably the reason it didn't take us two hours is because apparently the buses stop at all the resorts not just they're not just for one resort yeah it's not like a hito bus it's just you know and where we are are like right next to everything so like sandals is next i mean they're just literally resort after resort so you're stopping at each one if you do that so so yeah private car i think worked out very well and that's round trip they take they take you both ways yeah they do so today when it's time to check out i had to go um we can leave in the morning i went to the front desk. They called them. We scheduled it. And they'll be here in the morning to take us back to the airport. Yeah. Now, the Club Bombay service isn't on the back end, too, is it? I know that they do it. I don't know if we got that, to be honest with you. We'll probably should double check that. Yeah, we'll double check that. We'll let you know about. We'll definitely go over the getting home portion in a later podcast so that way we can cover all those things give you all the information yeah all right so then that that's pretty much how we got here uh and it was pretty i think we were stressed about it because you know we have covid covid times traveling internationally is a little stressful but uh overall it's pretty smooth um yeah okay so then we got here um got checked in um and then they took our bags there's like a bell service at the desk and they pick up your bags and they take your bag to your room yeah and if i had one um criticism or like an improvement of hedo it would be like the check-in process. I didn't feel like the people were, like, overly nice. They did give us a drink when we walked in, which was nice. But there was no tour. There was no explanation. They just kind of was like, here's your room. Good luck. And we just kind of looked at each other like, okay, now what?
Speaker3:
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker1:
Yeah, so they give you a schedule day by day, like, what's going on, where. Kind of like a cruise. If you've been on a cruise, it's very similar to that. Right, but we didn't even get like a map of the – No. Luckily, again, because we were booked with Tom's Trips, the next morning Tom's Trips did give us a tour. Yeah, they had a newbie. Which really helped'm you know and i i was reading on the paper i do think that they try to offer tours like as pedo does i think the problem is is they've had to lay off a lot of people because of covid they're just their numbers are not high enough to employ so i'm sure that's one of the things they're probably cutting corners on it could be yeah it makes sense to me that that would be something yes yeah so when we got here um the bellman you know once we got checked in and got a room uh the bellman took us to took to our room and delivered us our bags um some of the other people had said they just got kind of like pointed in the right like your room is that way yeah and then their bags up later at their room. Yeah. Which luckily someone took it. Which if we had had to do that, we would have got lost. Because this, the property here is pretty big. Yeah. And all the condos, I mean, they're not really condos. They're hotel rooms, but they're kind of set up in two-story condo looking buildings. And they all look exactly the same. and i don't know if the numbering system i guess it maybe makes sense but doesn't really make sense to me well because we don't have a map we don't have an overview we don't know how they work so we probably get a little a little lost yeah so we ended up booking the just garden view room i don't remember telling them if i wanted to be on the prude side or the nude side but we are actually on the prude side yeah which we don't hate because one night they ended up having a party on this side and it was so loud like we literally we had to fall asleep to like bass music so i kind of like it over here it's really quiet it's nice um and say prude, you can totally still walk around naked. It's just if you want to wear clothes, you can. So, yeah. So, basically, the room looks like any hotel room. A little nicer, maybe. I mean, it's got, like, marble floors and marble showers. So, the resort, we're assuming, is, like, 40, 50 years old. We talked about this, him and I. I don't know what know what year it was built but it's not and i don't know if that's when it was built or if it was taken over at that point so it's been hito's been here i guess they're celebrating this year 2021 their 40th anniversary yeah um but i don't know that this resort probably is older than that they've done a very good job of keeping it up the grounds are beautiful when you walk during the day there's people training bushes and painting and like everything is being the upkeep is amazing amazing but it is an older resort you can tell the buildings and some of the facilities are a little older but yes there's definitely they do a very good job of of maintenance on on everything i mean they they're closing the pools every day at different times you know there's i don't know five or six pools in there yeah they close them all at different times to clean them and you know they were all very clean and very nice uh so they do a good job um but so let's go over the basic layout right so our again our room looks like a hotel room uh it's just a basic it has a little tiny like don't know, hotel room, fridge. It has a stand-up shower, you know, a sink, a bathroom, kind of all the normal stuff. It does have mirrors over the bed, which have been fun. The mirrors over the bed are nice. Yeah. Our room is perfectly fine for a first visit. They do have some better rooms. We got to partake in a little hot tub fun yeah um in a room that to be honest with you was kind of amazing their refrigerator is fully stocked every morning right um yeah it was i don't i think it so their room was the beach front hot tub room yeah it was just it was a bigger room it had a bigger refrigerator they said that they every morning they brought them a bottle of champagne and a bottle of Tito's and filled all their refrigerator with all the mixers and juices. We get two waters. We get two waters a day, yeah. Back here in the. But now you can go to the bar and get everything you want for free. But it would be nice to wake up in the morning and have like a juice or, you know, a Coke or 7-Up. So in hindsight, I would probably want to splurge and get maybe a little bit more room but you don't spend a ton of time in your room so just like any vacation depends on where you want to spend your money if you put we yeah we could have spent the extra no there's nothing wrong with what we're saying no nothing at all yeah i would be completely happy coming back and being in this room yeah but so anyway anyway, let's go over the overall layout of Hedo. So it kind of starts up on a hill, right? So the check-in, there's like an open – what would you call the stage in that area? It's like an open concept, very breezy, no closed doors, very tropical, which you would imagine um you walk in to the um main lobby main lobby where you have your typical hotel main lobby right past that is where you do majority of your eating right well so in the other thing in the main lobby is that that's where they have all the if you want to go on an excursion or a trip yeah just like any other they can take you all on that
Speaker2:
stuff right and then as you come through the main lobby it opens up into this open concept dining room area yeah and it's it's very very large area uh has a that's where the main stage where they do all their shows are um off to the left if you were coming in through the lobby it's where the buffet is they have a buffet at breakfast yeah like an omelet station and dinner I don't know.
Speaker1:
I don't know.
Speaker2:
I don't know.
Speaker1:
I don't know. their shows are um off to the left if you were coming in through the lobby it's where the buffet is they have a buffet at breakfast yeah like an omelet station and dinner egg station um dinner they have pasta stations um then on the opposite side of that is a japanese restaurant right there's the main stage and then um i guess behind the buffet is the italian off to the left still, buffet. And then Italian restaurants kind of outside, but behind that buffet area. Then on to your right-hand side, they have the Japanese place. And an espresso cafe. Espresso cafe. Then they have, if you kept going that way, there's the piano bar and then the wine bar. Yep, correct. In the right direction. And then even past that is hido wido yeah hido wido which is there i think it said the island's first on resort medical distillery yeah not distillery dispensary we went in there because it was part of our tour it was actually really nice you could tell that that was something they had added it was very new and very nice um you do have to go see a nurse or a doctor of some sort and get your. Medical card. Yeah, your card. I don't know how much. Yeah, I don't know what's all involved that. We did not partake due to our careers, but we did. We had some friends that did, and they were saying it was very easy. Yeah. Yeah. So on to the other side of where he do we do is there is a lifestyle boutique boutique is that yeah and the gym there's a gym like an open courtyard area where they have like a seating and chess like a big chess game and some seating areas uh there's a gym very typical resort you know like they could change it from a clothing optional resort to just a normal resort and it would be the exact same minus maybe the playroom right which we'll get to yeah yeah and then up by the stage there is a main pool that has like a volleyball net and that's that's i guess probably the largest prude pool yeah so let's talk about what is a prude pool compared to what is a nude pool. So basically, the resort is not split right down the middle, but close to right down the middle, right? And on what would be the right-hand side, if you were standing at the top of the hill at the check-in, is the nude side. And then on the left-hand side is what they call the prude side. So the nude side is you cannot wear clothes yeah you have basically enough time to get situated where you're going to be sitting to take yourself and ladies that means the thongs like yeah you know most places that we go to i always just go topless and wear my thongs here it has to all come off like no material at all in the water yeah and if you walk into the onto the nude side i think you can walk through and yeah they're not going to say anything yeah but if you you know stop and sit down on the beach or if you go to the pool and and you don't disrobe one of the staff members will say you know if you want to stay here if you want to be here you have to disrobe yeah um and then on the left side is what they call the prude side which means it's clothing optional yeah so you can be completely nude you you can wear a bathing suit you can wear your top your bottom any common it doesn't matter um but you do not have to if you don't have to go completely nude it tends to be a little bit calmer and quieter on the prude side so if you are more of someone who just wants to come and relax and maybe be nude and just kind of take in the scenery that would probably be your scene if you were here to like party and be total swingers you know you'd probably do the prude side
Speaker2:
right so on the nude side there's one pool and that pool usually that's where they have like the dj they're playing games they have a cocktail hour every day from like two to five the more
Speaker1:
Here we go. pool and that pool usually that's where they have like the dj they're playing games they have a cocktail hour every day from like two to five the more busy music bumping and they're kind of partying and then on the prude side they have more pools i mean i think there's like kind of nicer on one two like three or four pools yeah uh two big pools and like two little pools and that's where you would yeah if you just wanted to lay out and relax and float in the pool, that's kind of what the prude side is for. And the beach is the same way. Yeah. Split in half. Now, even on the prude side, you can be completely naked. You can have sex. You can do whatever. You know, that's not. It's completely, yeah, it's literally the clothing that is literally the only thing. Right, the only thing that really changes. And you'll see that. Yeah. We've seen sex just about everywhere there is to have sex. In the ocean, on the ocean, hot tubs. Beaches. Beaches, on bars, on. Catamarans. Yeah, all the things. Yeah, so. Yeah, so that's nude versus versus prude i guess yeah so shows every night they have a different show um they usually start between eight and nine thirty ten it changes every night which i don't particularly like you'll have to go and find your yeah the time's not i just kind of wish they would make it a standard the show starts at nine yeah like personally yeah but you know whatever it doesn't matter and they each night kind of had a theme that kind of went along with the themes like as far as outfits sort of loosely loosely based on the themes yeah like the bdsm night they did a lot of bdsm type dancing right the dancers were dressed in kind of fetish gear and doing some bdsm I mean, like the BDSM night, they did a lot of BDSM type dancing. Right, the dancers were dressed in kind of fetish gear and doing some BDSM kind of stuff. It's basically probably a group of 10 to 15 dancers, would you say, doing routines. They seem to be local Jamaicans. Yeah, they live on property. All smoking hot. Gorgeous. I mean, abs and butts boobs and just some of them sing and dance and dance um just yeah you see them all hours of the day they're here yes so they're entertainment staff and most of the shows are them doing some type of dancing yeah and there's a couple of mcs yeah um one who was fabulous who wore high heels pretty much a man but he would wear high heels every night and rock the shit out of them yeah better than he's a great singer too yeah um but different types of things i'm fashion shows um talent contest uh what was that what's that called when you're hanging the rope thing where you're we call that like the ribbon where they're dancing on that yeah just just a bunch of different types of performances you know some were better than others some you know about that time you've been in the sun all day you've now ate dinner you're kind of sober not really sober so sometimes the shows can drag a bit and you're just kind of like for me like i was just it's a warm we either start we We either need to start partying again, or I like i was just it's warm we either need to start partying again or i need to go to bed yeah yeah but i mean overall it was it was fairly good yeah typically um from the shows you typically go to the piano bar which after that which seems like the crowd generally goes from the show to the piano bar which is if you've ever been to a piano bar think of new orleans it's a guy that's playing a piano who can play and sing just about anything um and then they were having a lot of almost like karaoke too where they would let people if you wanted to sing a song you could request it of him and sing it yourself um yeah it was fun a lot of people that frequent frequent the resort often would get up and do like songs it would be requested um the thing that's funny is it's not an actual piano it's like a keyboard they built like a wooden structure around it to make it look like a piano and at first i was like well that's stupid but then i figured out that like lots of girls get on top of that that piano was actually a stage so that makes sense that it's not a real piano because you've got like all these women up there that are shit-faced like dancing you know stripping yeah um but it's fun it's a good in between the show you know between that like, maybe if you choose to go to the playroom or if you choose to go back to a pool. It's a good kind of middle ground. Yeah, it seemed like the general flow was you went from show to piano bar to maybe nude pool to playroom. And the only exceptions to that were when they did the glow party night. You know, the glow party they did up by the main prude pool and uh they had like a dj up there and like a little dance club thing kind of going on up there and then last night they had a foam party which was down by the they call it the disco room but they use it for like yoga and every other yeah a lot of other things they definitely guide you where they want you to go yeah they kind of tell you what the yeah what the place so you know anyway, you go from the show to whatever the next thing is. And then most people seem to end up either in the nude pool and then eventually into the playroom if you choose to partake in that. Correct. Yeah. Those activities. And that activities. So then let's talk a little bit about the food situation more in depth. I personally like the food. I mean, it's going to be your everyday resort type food. In my opinion, some things, like I had a burger. It was pretty terrible. It was like your typical buffet line cheeseburger. But then they have like pasta stations where you like pick your sauce, your veggies. The pasta stations. It's wonderful. Their good yeah i mean so it's i think you have to find things that are really good and um you know i mean it's hit or miss basically and then so there's the buffet and they have breakfast lunch and dinner buffets every day correct and then in addition to that there's three restaurants well there was two and a half now so there's a japanese restaurant which is hibachi wonderful we've loved it we've ate there so it's just like most hibachi places you've thought of they come they cook right in front of you they have beef shrimp chicken yeah literally what you think of when you have at home um and then there's an italian restaurant Yeah. Italian restaurant was kind of, I don't know. It's not true. I mean, like, the pasta bar is definitely better. Jamaican Italian? Yeah. I mean, it's not bad. I enjoyed, I ate every bite of my food. The fact that it's included and free. Yeah. And, you know, you can go in there and sit down and they pour you wine. Yeah. It's a very Italian, you know, there's some, like, Italian statues and it kind of has that kind of vibe. Yeah, it's nice. Yeah, for sure for sure yeah so it's a nice sit-down restaurant um you know the italian food we have friends from we have some friends from new jersey and he's his whole family's italian he's like no no yeah but uh i mean the food is you know it's not it's edible and it's yeah it's good really good if you're an italian you might be offended yeah just like if you're japanese i'm you're Japanese. I'm sure the Japanese restaurant is, like, crap. Just to go back to the buffet, because of COVID, they serve you. Right. So they have workers that kind of walk around. And I think that's obviously an addition. That's not something that's typical. Right. And it can slow the lines down a little bit. Yeah, it can. Because you've got to wait for somebody to come up to you and scoop all your food under your plate. And at you if you try to yeah you don't touch the buffet don't touch it yeah um so then they also have and well they actually have two more restaurants they have one it's like a bar grill down by the nude pool nude pool um they're open just certain times of the day i don't particularly like around lunch late night like um of place typical poolside bar food quesadillas they do have jerk chicken which is the chicken is good um they have some kebabs uh grilled cheese what else the food is pretty good yeah it's actually because it's it's made to order right there it's really good pizza was pretty people like the pizza so there was another restaurant though there was the flame and it went up in flame yeah so what was that wednesday thursday yeah it was whatever the flame when it's the same night they did the fire show so yeah i think tuesday or wednesday yeah so it caught on fire in the night and like it's i would say pretty much destroyed i mean the structure, the structure is still standing. Everyone on TikTok has been hitting us up and saying, what's going on with the, is the flame okay? What happened to the flame? It's closed. So we didn't actually even get to eat there. Yeah, it destroyed the kitchen area. And I think they'll be able to fix it and rebuild it. It's not a total loss. They did have to evacuate some of the people. Yeah, the condos, the rooms that are directly behind it,
Speaker2:
I guess they were knocking on people's door in the middle of the night and saying, you've got to get out of the room just in case.
Speaker1:
We slept through it. Again, we're not anywhere near it, so it was easy to sleep through it. But apparently it was kind of an ordeal because they couldn't get the fire trucks down, and then the staff was running to get water out of the ocean, and it was a grease fire. I just it was like kind of a shit show yeah it was a little bit of a shit show i think yeah we slept through it though it was a good story to tell like were you really in hito if the flame didn't burn down yeah we were there when the flame burned down 2021 yeah i know right um so overall i genuinely enjoyed the food we've ate amazing um and should we touch on the alcohol yeah let's touch on the alcohol um you know the first full day we'll talk about this more i got really shit-faced i mean i will definitely when we go over that day we'll talk about it in more um i really so when we got here on Saturday I was genuinely concerned about drinking for seven days I'm not a I'm not really much of a drinker I have a drinker too so I was genuinely concerned about being in the sun and drinking for free for seven days when we got here on saturday the drinks were not super strong so i was like oh i can do this um but on saturday or sunday we got in the nude pool and then i don't know it's one of the groups that was they kept going up and getting ordering like 50 fireball shots and then just going around the pool and passing them out to whoever wanted one yeah and at least he had a lot i don't know how many and uh it was bad so we'll go over that but like definitely know that yeah that the mixed drinks are not super strong but the shots are yeah they're like you see it come running now whether or not what's in the bottle is actually what the label says yeah that's questionable. Yeah, I'm not sure. We've had some shots of Patron that tastes like rummy alcohol. Yeah. And then the next day you get a shot of something and it tastes just like it. So, you know, that's to be determined. We're not really sure their process as far as the alcohol. i've been pleasantly surprised i highly recommend the pina coladas we figured that out we've been rocking pina coladas all week they're you know they're light they're not real heavy they're they taste really good um it can give you that sugar headache though yeah and we just kind of do shots in between to kind of like kick it up a notch if we if we need to yeah so yeah um what about some of the extra activities that the resort-ish activities they offer here so all non-motorized sports water sports are included all right so they have some little sailboats that you can take out paddleboards kayaks those little what do you call those little sailboard things where it's like a stand-up board that you have to sail on it. It's like a paddle board with a sail on it. I don't know the name of it. I can't remember what that's called, but sailboarding or something. But, yeah, all that's free. And then, in addition to that, you can do the catamaran rides. You can go out and do snorkeling. They'll take you out in a boat and do snorkeling. You can go out and do fishing. Some of those are obviously extra. Yeah, most of this stuff is extra, yeah. Yeah, pretty much anything that you can take from the beach and just kind of push out yourself is free. But I think all the other things where you need a boat to take you out and stuff like that is additional. But there's a little stand, just like if you go to the beach, like, you know, on family vacay, like how they have that. It's pretty much the same thing. Yep. Scuba diving, snorkeling. I mean, they had parasailing. Pretty much anything you can imagine that you can do in the ocean. Which is really funny because, like, so they do have people that, like, just full disclosure, we have been offered drugs more time than I can count. Yeah, they have people that walk up and down the beach and yeah we don't know if there's like a rule that they can't stop those guys but uh or if they're letting they let them on or i don't know how that works but so we don't partake in that we do have friends that do but that's just not something that you know we can barely handle our alcohol let alone anything else but it's funny because as you're like on the beach they'll walk up to you and be like you want to go parasailing like no no we're good well molly one ecstasy oh my gosh no thank you no we're also good on that thank you thanks so much so i mean definitely um be aware of that yeah i mean not only can you go parasailing but you can get you your extra stuff, too. Anything you want if you trust it.
Speaker3:
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker1:
But, I mean, it's just a lot of fun. Just endless amount of activities. You can do as much or as little as you choose.
Speaker3:
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker2:
I think the only other thing we really didn't talk about too much, maybe we should tell them real quick, is the playroom.
Speaker1:
So, it's tucked back in the corner, which I don't particularly like.'s two it's there's two technically there's two playrooms the one by the nude pool there's one like a little hut right by the play the nude pool i haven't have you even stuck your head in there no i haven't there's like two beds or two or three beds basically if you just you know you can you can have sex in the pool you can have sex on the lounge chairs mean, literally anything goes. There's like cabanas all over the property that have mattresses and sheets that are meant for those purposes. But if you wanted to go in the playroom, there is a little small one right by that pool. There is one that we would consider the playroom, which is behind the spa. Up by the tennis tennis courts it's really tucked back it's almost like the forbidden room kind of it is weird how it's like the back alley between the tennis courts and yeah it is it is in this building um but it's really nice it's an amazing play i was really impressed by it yeah so so as you walk into the playroom it's like a big open air room with no ceiling um playroom i was really impressed by it yeah so so as you walk into the playroom it's like a big open air room with no no ceiling uh and then it has what like six or six beds six big beds so let me add to that i went to the spa today and during the day those mattresses are gone and then at night they put the mattresses out basically there's like two pools and like a water fountain and during the night they put these mattresses yeah these mattresses or beds out and during the day they take them up um but it's really neat because it's like you're inside but you're almost like in a courtyard so you're essentially like having sex under the stars but on a bed but with like pools it's it's a neat um like play on and it's dark and they have like it's like you know dim lit i don't know red lights yeah lights you know it's very and it's really cool because you get you know it's obviously jamaica it's hot you're having sex it's hot and then you get in these pools that are very cool and i assume they cool the pools like they have to otherwise everywhere else it's hot so yeah yeah um so it's it's really nice and then off to the one side there is a dungeon room which is pretty hot yeah it has a both figuratively and literally yeah yeah it has a leather swing type um yeah um situation which was really hot i really love it we need one for the house um st andrew's cross a big shower huge shower for multiple people to shower um and then just kind of some beds spread around the wall what is that thing that you've got me from behind on that you put your knees on? It looks kind of like a picnic bench.
Speaker2:
It's almost like a picnic table, but the table part's narrow.
Speaker1:
Yeah, it's made to be like doggy style, which is pretty hot.
Speaker2:
I don't know what you call that, Adratus.
Speaker1:
They provide condoms, latex and non-latex, towels, water.
Speaker2:
You can't have any food or drinks in there. Lots of attendants. They will yell at you if you. They're very quick. So, you know, you play on these waterproof mattresses that they put a sheet on. And as soon as a couple gets up, they come right in and they're clear. If they need to, you know, sheets were wet they'll they'll spray it and wipe down the mattress and then before they put a new sheet on they're very very good at that uh but yeah we were playing in there the other night and you know there's i think there's four beds in the middle and we kind of went from one to like we kept we were on one as we were fucking we kind of were spreading across all the beds and the lady's like you can no more beds you can no more sheets you stay on the ones you've used already we're like oh sorry like yeah um so you have to go in fully nude which not all playrooms are that way but this one is yeah and you have to you cannot a single male cannot go in can't go in which i do like that i do like that but we did hear a story of a guy who couldn't find his wife and they would not let him in to go look yeah to go look so um you know that could maybe don't lose track of your wife if you um if if you need to go in there you can't um but overall i you know i kind of wish that the playrooms are more in like an open space because if you had not went on the tour, you didn't know what you were looking for, you probably would never have found them. We wouldn't have known they were there. Now, if you threw word of mouth, you probably would have figured it out. Yeah, but, like, if you were a shyer couple, and maybe this is your first time and had known. Like, we actually met a couple that are brand new to the lifestyle, and we kind of showed them around a bit, you could say. Yeah. Showed them around. Yeah. And we actually brought them back them back and the husband was like we would have never found them yeah yeah so um but yeah so that's pretty much like a a very high level overview of hito yeah um what are we gonna wait for the pineapples i think we'll wait i'm a rating yeah i think we should go at the end huh i think we should do it at the end at the end all right so whether this turns into two or three we're not sure yet but for for the overall rating of you know especially since we're not even done yet yeah um we'll get that on the last i mean let's just say i personally i love it yeah i mean you can say that i love it yeah there's a few little things so the my biggest critique would be like you said on that first day they really should give you a map uh they don't really explain the rules as far as where you can be naked even for a couple that we consider ourselves like not really pros but like we've been around the blocks let's just be honest and we've been to a fair amount of lifestyle clubs and events and things if you were just brand new and they just threw you out there like i probably would have cried like it took us a good day or two to really figure out what all was going on like yeah what the rules were where you know it's kind of like they assumed that we were all like veteran people here we've been here so many times and we should just know and i just i kind of didn't like that yeah um that would be biggest biggest critique now there you know there you critique some of the older buildings and some of that but honestly uh for the age of this you know this place seems like it's a 50 60 70 year old resort yeah they do a very good job yeah it's beautiful yeah uh yeah and you can critique the food a little bit you could critique the drinks a little bit uh But I think that goes for every resort that you go to. Right. Yeah. But overall, I think we've had an amazing week. Yeah. We're exhausted. Yeah. But we're not – we're going to tear it up tonight. Lacey's shaking her head. What, you don't want to tear it up tonight? No, I do. We have to be picked up at 7 a.m., so it's going to be a day if you follow us on snapchat you'll you'll see it before you yeah yeah so all right that's it all right so i guess we'll we'll end it here and stay tuned for um or we'll go into detail day by day what all what all we did um we had to make notes y'all yeah we probably need to update those yeah it's a lot we've we've been busy it's definitely we need a vacation from the vacation absolutely okay okay all right well with that folks in a world full of apples be a pineapple be a pineapple guys bye bye if you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us leave a five-star review wherever you're're listening. 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