Tuesday Talks: Practical Solutions to Erectile Issues

Transcript

Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe interview the experts learn and grow together join the nation so lacy people are asking how do they get to go to a party or an event with us they check out swingers society.net you create a profile you sign up for an event and you come hang out with us. Super easy. That's right. 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Use coupon code TSN at checkout. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We we are your hosts northern guy and southern girl today's episode is another rendition of our tuesday talks it is talking tuesday with dan and lacy yeah we're talking all things lifestyle yeah answer and listener questions yeah we are what question do you have for us today lacy um today it's from steve and his question is how can a man in the lifestyle stay out of their head when they have had a couple incidents with not being able to get hard any tips would be helpful how to stay out of your head after you've had instances where you cannot get hard yeah so i think for this like you answer the male perspective and then i think i should give some tips as like the girl that's like laying there trying to get the man hard okay you want you want me to start yeah go for it uh okay so i think a few things um i think one steve this happens to everybody, right? So I think if hearing that maybe helps put your mind at ease, if you are a male and you've been in the lifestyle for more than a day and you've participated in swinging and having group sex and public sex and things like that, undoubtedly, I have no doubt in my my mind at some point in time um you've had issues getting a hard on it just happened to you on the bliss cruise it just happened to me on the bliss cruise at the worst time yep uh but we worked through it we got we got past it um it happened actually to a couple other guys on the bliss cruise uh without naming any names but it happened several times during throughout our weeks So that's just how common. I would say, and this is, you know, if we're going to talk about this, almost every time we've had a group sex scenario, there's been at least one male that has struggled. Oh, for sure. If not more. To get hard in that scenario. Right. So, okay. So, Steve, this is an everyday occurrence in the lifestyle um so some ways to get out of your head so that you can perform um i think the number one thing i would say is you need to go get um a subscription a prescription uh cialis viagra whatever the case may be um because that just it just helps right it increases blood flow so it just it's not that You can't get hard but it's going to make it a little easier for you right so you yeah it's just going to make things easier so go talk to your doctor you can use shameless care which is a company that we're partnered with it they're a lifestyle friendly company they their doctors all know that if you come through shameless care that you there's a pretty good chance that you have ties to the lifestyle and are dealing with performance anxiety um there's other websites though hymns blue chew i mean there's there's a tons of ways nowadays to get um prescription ed medication without going and talking to your family doctor or just go talk to your family doctor about it and get that's probably the cheapest way because you can use your insurance and stuff like that okay so one go do that um two uh i would say a lot of this is about comfort level and if you get uncomfortable and if you start overthinking and if you start building anxiety once you kind of get in your own head and start thinking all those things that's for me anyway the the key to derailing yourself so when I've been in instances and we've been in play situations and i can kind of and i start to play and then i'm like oh fuck my dick's not hard then you start thinking oh man am i not really get hard and then like you just kind of get trapped in that that cycle um and so a few ways to deal with that one is it's a lot easier if you're not in a super like if you go into a group orgy room and try to fuck and there's 100 people watching you like that is the worst case scenario for not getting a hard on because there's so many people um watching and seeing right so maybe if you've had issues with performance in the past maybe it's better to play in a more private setting so taking your partner and you know maybe just one other couple or something like that going to a private room closing the door um that can be more comfortable than 100 people 200 people watching that you know are watching you right because in the back of your mind you're always thinking oh man all these people are watching me they're all going to see that i can't get hard they're all gonna be laughing in their head you know i mean like you just can kind of get stuck in your head thinking about things like that so private settings are definitely easier um for you to perform the second second thing i've noticed is if you start with your partner a lot of this is comfort right so it's one not a thousand people watching you and then two we are more comfortable with our own partner lacy knows how to touch me how me, what to whisper in my ear, how to suck my dick and get me hard. So if me and Lacey start together, I'm very comfortable with her. I know I'm confident and comfortable with her. So if we start and she kind of gets the party going and then you swap, that can be a way to be more successful, right? Because really, if me and lacy are having sex in a closed door room it almost feels like having sex at home you know i mean like it's it's a much more comfortable setting so when then once she gets things going then then it can be you know it's it's hard sometimes to just jump in cold with a partner that you're not yeah you don't know you're not comfortable with we usually always and there's pressure to perform right there's you want to make sure that this other this new person has a good experience so in your mind you're thinking oh fuck am i not hard oh my god Thank you. comfortable with we usually always and there's pressure to perform right there's you want to make sure that this other this new person has a good experience so in your mind you're thinking oh fuck am i not hard oh my god just what's she gonna think you know i mean so there's just a little less pressure when you start with your own partner we always start with each other i feel like i don't know not always but the majority i would say 75 80 percent of the time right i don't know i just i'm usually like a little nervous not like it like i don't know so i like starting with you and that's even even if you start with you and then because i for me i know like the stop and go can be hard right so you start fucking and then it's like oh everybody takes a break and goes and gets water and you know you go change condoms or whatever and it's like okay now go again that can be kind of hard to set and go so those are a few things that i've noticed that have helped me i think another thing is i like to start with like me going down I'm going to show you what I to, to set and go. So those are a few things that I've noticed that have helped me. I think another thing is I like to start with like me going down on you, right? So instead of you sucking my dick or us trying to go right straight to fucking, like if I'm going down on you and are, and I'm fingering you and I, you're moaning and you're coming, I don't almost think not even thinking about my dick because it's not really the center of attention at that point in time. Right. then all of a sudden i'm hard because what's happening is hot and sexy and i wasn't like dick please get hard dick please get hard in my head right so if you start with like you sucking my dick i'm instantly thinking like well i hope it gets hard because if it doesn't this is going to be a problem right so like starting with things that aren't dick focused can kind of help um as well so there are a few things that i've noticed that what would you say from your perspective well i i think there's two perspectives i want to describe it two ways one is if the wife if you notice that your partner your husband your boyfriend whoever is struggling i think it's important for you obviously give them a chance to see if it'll work but if she's been like sucking his dick for 15 minutes and it's not working at some point you as the wife need to remove like you need to be you need to go help him yeah um because that you know one that's not really fair for her to be sitting there trying and he's probably like save me you know because he you're his comfort so i think that's important uh you need to always be aware of what your partner's doing and obviously you want to be in the moment you want to enjoy yourself but a quick glance over doesn't remove you or shouldn't remove you from you know how many i don't want to say fights but how many uncomfortable situations have you seen arise because somebody's partner is struggling to get a hard on and the other two people are like banging out banging out banging it out like porn stars um it's it honestly i think a lot of it happens a lot i feel like a lot of men struggle getting hard with me and i don't know why i don't know i don't know why i don't know why but it happens and it's okay you know it's not i think a lot of men struggle getting hard yeah period yeah correct i say me because it's i'm i'm the only one that had i only know my experience so it feels like it happens often with me because you don't you kind of have it down to a science almost like it still happens to you but you pretty much are always for the most part hard so you're over there just having a good old time and me i'm over there like really trying to get the dick hard you know so um from that perspective i like it when the wife comes over even if i don't leave even if we suck his dick together or once it's on his face while the other second you know there's options where everybody's still involved but but the wife is still there she knows what buttons to push she knows what naughty things to say in his ear to get him hard you know so i think that's important to always like kind of have an eye on your partner and making sure that the experience is also about them you know um but on the flip side side, let's just say it's not happening, right? We've tried everything. The dick is not getting hard. Fuck it, you know. There are so many ways to have an orgasm or to have a fun, hot experience without a dick. And I know that's really hard for guys to understand that and comprehend that. But let's just say your dick is not going to get hard. make it an awesome experience we can still have so much fun i have came and squirted and did all kinds of really hot fun shit without a dick it had an amazing time and i think guys forget that they're so in their head and they're so like it's got to work it's got to work that they forget about that so at some point you just got to call it right you know after so many minutes you're like the dick isn't gonna work let's just have fun and i just i wish more guys would realize that and just kind of and honestly if you say fuck it and let's just have fun otherwise i guarantee you your dick will probably end up working because you're not thinking about it yeah yeah no i think that's true like if you once you get focused on getting the dick hard it's never gonna it's never and so just being like oh it's okay that it's not hard let me please you in other ways yeah or i even like i would have no problem like okay let me go sit on the couch and just watch then like yeah right like okay my dick's not getting hard but the three of you have fun and let me go i'm just gonna sit over here and watch and i bet me sitting on the couch like kind of playing with myself watching you know a threesome in real life in person i'd probably get hard you know but it's the struggle is when you're putting when you're trying to suck my dick when somebody's trying to stroke my dick when somebody like when every when i feel like everybody's like why is dan's dick not getting hard look at his dick it makes it worse not getting hard yeah you know i mean yeah and like the experience on the bliss cruise when you could get hard i noticed it and i walked over and and you know and kind of like i can't read she get up and leave or do i actually think so we were trying to there's three couples on a bed i don't want to spoil the bliss cruise but there's three couples on the bed and i i was in the middle of it and i was hard and everything was great and i think i don't know if we swapped or switched or took a little break and then like it went down in between and then i switched to a different girl and i was struggling to kind of get going again but there was a lot happening on the bed so i think what i had i did is i took her over to the couch like just me and her kind of away from everything just to kind of you know i don't know and then a couple minutes later i was able to get hard again yeah and continue but sometimes it's just kind of getting out of the spotlight for a minute can kind of help yeah so i don't know i just i guess men if you're listening to this my takeaway for you is it's okay and if you just step back and let's just have a lot of fun without it um i think it can salvage a situation 100 i get that you didn't get fucked and you didn't get to come but you can still have an awesome experience that's the funny you know the funny thing about this kind of what you're saying is like i love pleasing women you know i love eating pussy i love making girls squirt i love making out i love um all of the things i usually don't come when we swing anyway it's usually don't come until me and you go back to the room uh regardless of all that so like my dick getting hard or not getting hard you know it might be a little disappointing to the female if it doesn't but other than that we can have a pretty good experience yeah so yeah i think not not worrying about it too much and i know that's way easier oh so easier yeah uh but i don't know dicks are definitely a hot button item um getting hard or not getting hard is definitely you know something that we we all experience a lot it happens all the time you are not alone you're not alone uh make the best of it though that's that's really all you can do and try not to make it the focal point of of the whole thing um and you're you'll probably have a good time yep i agree all right anything else to say about dicks getting hard and and all that no all right if you're interested in uh shameless care you can go to the swing nation dot info you'll see a shameless care link click on that uh and you'll get um i think it's like 40 off your first your first order or something like that yeah it's like half off your first your first order shameless care if you've never tried cialis viagra all that stuff um you know go check it out give it give it a try i bet it'll make a huge difference i try to imagine like i don't know swinging without viagra for me we did it for a little while would be would be rough yeah so uh go check that out and give it a try. That will probably help you out as well. Yep. All right. I think with that, in a world full of apples. Be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time.