Send us Fan MailLifestyle Stories | Enhance Your Sex Life: Susan Bratton on Orgasms and Intimacy | Episode 147Welcome to another electrifying episode of The Swing Nation Podcast, the top-rated lifestyle podcast about non-monogamy and swinging! In this episode, your favorite hosts, Dan and Lacy, sit down with the incredible Susan Bratton—intimacy expert, best-selling author, and passionate advocate for ageless passion. Prepare for an enlightening and steamy conversation as they explore a wide variety of sexy subjects, from achieving life-changing orgasms to helping couples break free from their sex rut and rediscover unending pleasure.Susan shares her expert insights and practical tips to enhance your intimate connections and take your passion to new heights. Whether you re looking to spice things up or deepen your existing relationships, this episode is packed with valuable advice that will leave you inspired and eager to embrace your desires. Tune in and discover how to unlock a world of pleasure and intimacy with the guidance of one of the best in the business.Don t miss out—hit play now and join the journey to rediscover unending passion!Learn more from Susan Bratton - https://betterlover.com/channel/susan-bratton-better-lover/- The Swing Nation - Main Website Quick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links more!) Follow us on Facebook! The Podcast Website- Swinger Society - Our Website to meet, connect events Swinger Society Discord Our Facebook Group- Swinger Websites -Kasadie 90 day free trialUsername: TheSwingNation SDC 14 day free trial Username: TheSwingNation** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! ** SLSUsername: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl- Merch More -Order Your Merch Here!- Lacy’s Fun Links - VIP OnlyFans PREMIUM OnlyFans-- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS --Wisp : Making sexual healthcare inclusive, cost-effective, and accessible—for everyoneUse Code SWING at checkout for 15% off your oder! Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testingUse Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order!Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great SexUse Code SwingNation for 5% off!Pinaq Liqueur; The Official Drink of The Swing NationUse Code T- Thank you for the support! -
Transcript
This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice.
Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle.
Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe, interview the experts, learn and grow together join the nation so lacy people are asking how do they get to go to a party or an event with us they check out swingersociety.net you create a profile you sign up for an event and you, and you come hang out with us. Super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net.
Can't wait to see you there. Sexual health care can be so much more than STI testing. WISP offers services like emergency contraception, help in delaying your period, UTI treatments, and so much more. They even have a product called the OMG Cream that helps provide more fulfilling orgasms for women. WISP provides same-day prescriptions and can give you discreet treatment in the comfort and privacy of your own home.
Check out the link in our show notes or go to HelloWISiz.com and use code SWING for 15% off. Most people have unprotected oral sex, right? Be honest. Now think about your last STD test. Did your doctor tickle your throat with something that looked like a giant Q-tip? Probably not.
Yet that's the only way to check for oral gonorrhea or chlamydia which are often asymptomatic you need a better doctor you need shamelesscare.com use coupon code tsn at checkout hey there pineapple people and welcome to the swing nation podcast we are your hosts northern guy and southern girl and today we have a special guest for you we're sitting down with a very beautiful and sexy susan and she is a intimacy expert um and she's a champion and advocate for all those who desire ageless passion i actually like that that really nice.
I desire ageless passion. Same. So welcome to the show, Susan. Yeah, let's orgasm till the day we die. Yes. I support that theory. I think swingers are pretty, I mean, that's kind of the goal, right? Well, people always ask us, they're like, will you ever stop?
Is there an age that you'll like stop and i'm like i hope not like i i want to do this forever yeah yeah and we go to like events and stuff and we've been to like uh hedonism and jamaica and places like that and sometimes there's like 90 80 90 year old couples like out on the dance floor like grinding grabbing on each other's dick and or you know on each other's private parts and. And me and Lacey are always looking at each other and like, that's going to be us.
Like, that's going to be us when we're at that age. Me too. Yeah. If I see you out on that dance floor, I'm sliding right in between you. Yes, you better. I support that.
So, Susan, for our listeners that maybe are just hearing about you for the first time, can you just kind of give us give us kind of your story a little bit about yourself sure so i have the best job in the world because what i do for a living is write passionate love making techniques i basically write hot sex techniques and um i also write a lot of bedroom communication skills, erotic communication techniques, dirty talk, sensual talk, pillow talk.
I like to teach people how to transform having sex into making love.
And really what I have been doing for the last couple of decades is expanding my orgasmic capacity i love to come and i love to come in 20 different ways and i love to come for really long times really intensely really really well and then write how i figured out how to do that and give people the step-by-step process for essentially just, I like to call it getting on the upward pleasure spiral, where your sex life and your pleasure just keep expanding and getting better and better and better your whole life long and i am 62 years old and i am having the best sex and the best orgasms of my life so far sounds like there's still potential to to grow there i like it.
Oh, I'm growing. I'm growing. Okay. So your relationship status. So obviously me and Lacey are non-monogamous and we kind of identify as swingers. How would you judge yourself or how would you identify, I guess, in that spectrum?
Yeah, I'm in a non-monogamous 32 year marriage and we would we would call ourselves polyamorous one of the things that we like to do is we like to have partners it doesn't mean that we wouldn't have a partner for a weekend but we have this thing where we like a construct called fluid bonded.
And fluid bonded is essentially the notion that if you want to have any kind of you know skin to skin contact beyond just kissing and maybe hands-on body no mouth to genital or genital to genital contact until you have a full battery of STI tests. Like I'm such an STI test, you know, aficionado that I'm actually the chief advocacy officer of a company called Basis DX that does home collection kits.
So now you don't have to go in and get your blood drawn anymore to do an STI test and make an appointment and wait for it and blah. You can actually keep kits at home test. They're very big with pass. They provide the adult industry with all of their testing too. And I just want people to be like, well, I've got some COVID tests at home. Now I've got some STI tests at home.
So if I want to have sex with someone, I'm going to wait, I'm going to do the test, send them in 24 to 48 hours, I get my results. And then we can do level two intimacy. So though I'm in current, my current relationship construct is a polyamorous kitchen table poly relationship with another man and my husband. Last year, I had a girlfriend for a year. And I also for about six months recently had another boyfriend.
And it gave me opportunities to do things I'd never been able to do before i was an ecstatic birth partner with my girlfriend and i gave her yoni massages through her entire pregnancy and i had my first um sex you know sex events if they if you will because they really are with my three male partners and i and that was incredible too it made me feel so good about myself so i am polyamorous uh because i like the tap you know like making sure that the people i'm with are kind of screened into my group and by the way my boyfriend has two other girlfriends who are screened in and monogamous to him and my husband has had many girlfriends over the years as well so I don't ultimately think swinging and poly need to be considered to be that different they're not and I don't know that I've said anything that you're like that's the same shit we do right yeah no and's funny.
The more conversations we've had with people that kind of identify as poly, I think the more and more we realize, well, it's a lot of the same things, just different, a little different phrasing, a little different wording.
And I actually, you know, to what you just said, you almost sound like a clothes swinger where it's like, Hey, I'm willing to swing and swap, but we have to go through this screening process before I'm even, we'll consider you to come, you know, come into my circle, which is really a smart way of doing it. It should be how everybody does it, to be honest with you. Interesting. I'm going to give you a URL for that test, can I? Yeah. Because people are like, where's that test?
Yeah, fullpaneltest.com. It's the eight most virulent parasites, bacterias, and viruses.
And, you know know one of the things that i think is really interesting about sti testing too i'll just say one more thing about this it's kind of on my mind i don't get to talk about this stuff with a lot of people like no it's great it's very important yeah it's like the most important thing to me like i my heart can get broken and mend but if i get a motherfucking virus that's gonna be with me for the rest rest of my life, that I don't want, because there's a lot, like even now, I have herpes, and I've had herpes.
I got oral herpes from my mother when I was little, and genital herpes from a guy I was dating in my 20s who cheated on me long before I even knew about consensual and conscious non-monogamy, and I got herpes, and now knew it you guys i knew it they're tying it to um uh dementia and trigeminal neuralgia and other things like that and so of course there's downstream effects to all these things and i don't want to get something and then just be so cavalier that i'm like well i'll just take an antibiotic and get rid of it i don't even want the bacterias and things or or parasites because that blows up your gut microbiome i mean just this morning yesterday as a matter of fact i took the most beautiful poo and i was like excellent because i had what the hell did i have oh i had um i'm allergic to wheat and i went to new york and i was meeting with a bunch of sex experts there's a documentary film being made about me which is like fucking fantastic about my work and my life and i was meeting with other sex experts and i got some gluten cross-contamination so i had to take a bunch of stuff to kind of like quell that and it messed up my gut microbiome and just yesterday morning i'm like finally my gut is back and i'm having this beautiful poo and a lot of times when i talk to people about libido and their sexuality and their desire and things like that i'm like well let's start with what your poos look like because your gut microbiome is literally it's what fuels your energy, your desire, your living.
Like if you have a shitty biome Hmm.
what your poos look like because your gut microbiome is literally it's what fuels your energy your desire your living like if you have a shitty biome and you're not having good poos and you're bloated and all that all affects your neurotransmitters your hormone production etc and it's interesting to me that a lot of people will be like i'll just take an antibiotic i don't take antibiotics cavalierly that's one of the other reasons i like testing because i want a good libido that comes from my poofs being gorgeous it's like that's that is literally the shit you need to think about when you're not testing for stis and stuff it's like i don't want to take an antibiotic you know just because i got chlamydia or whatever i just do a test yeah no and it's so it's funny you didn't think we were going here today i didn't know we were going to talk about now she's telling me how great your poos are i think this is a first i don't think we don't think we've ever talked about poop on this podcast no it's a first i think this is the first time we talked about poop but like we take we do our std testing at home too um we've done it where you go to the doctor we do them at home as well and it is super convenient you get emailed the results i have them saved to my phone so at any moment anybody wants to see our testing results i can pull it up and i have to save it even if i can't find the picture or where i saved it i can like like my iPhone keeps my log in.
I can literally pull it up within minutes. So I think that is like really smart way to do it in the comfort of your own home. Yeah. And I do think, you know, when they talk about their sex life, you know, you don't think about your overall health. You know, I mean, it definitely has a huge impact.
You know, if you're tired all the time, if you, you know, if you don't have energy, you know you know, and all that stuff, it's, it's hard to have a healthy sex life if that's, you know, your day to day. It's totally true. Your libido and your health are two sides of the same coin. I can literally tell when I'm, if I'm not feeling well, my libido goes down and I can say, Oh, I'm getting better now.
I'm getting,'m getting oh yeah now i have sex again you know it's like it just tracks one to one for sure okay so when you're when you're doing this research for your your writing and your books and things and you're you're working on ways to have better orgasms is that is that a solo practice is are your partners uh involved in that uh what how does that how does that research done i'm very curious well you're so cute uh so some of it's solo pleasuring like um you know over time i've been able to come myself better and also i use a lot of sex toys.
I recommend sex toys and i try sex toys and i'm very fussy i actually have something i call my quiet vibe guide because i'm a very i'm one of those hypersensitive people you know like i don't like it bright light and i don't like it noisy like i cut all the tags out of my clothes i'm just i'm sensitive i can i know what's going on in my body i've got really high interception you know i've got a sense of what's going on and i have to have quiet sex toys too because if they're like all lacy loves the burnt ones i do those are all her favorite the bigger the engine the better so have you tried this one yet no no all right i'll send this to you okay this is fun factories vim and this is like oh mommy's old magic wand yeah throw that shit out well that's what i love I love the old fashion.
Whole line beer became whole line vim. I love it. Yeah, I'm all about that. I love. I love the old fashion. Whole my beer became whole my vim. I love it. Yeah, I'm all about that. I love a wand. That is my jam. Me too. And what I like about this is, first of all, it holds the lube on here really well. You can hump it if that's your style of orgasm.
And what I love about this is that it actually, the way they've designed the motor it doesn't just kind of go on the outside like of your skin and your pussy lips and things like that what it does it penetrates into the erectile tissue of your yoni a word i like to use for the you know pussy or vulgar vagina or whatever it's the tantric love making words i just think it's cute like my little yoni although when it's giant gotten all stretched out from those big dicks no that's not true because you can't the vagina is a muscle you can't stretch it out you can have all the big dicks you want and all the giant sex toys you want it is not going to make your vagina bigger so i was really kidding but what i like about this is it brings the blood flow into the yoni tissue into all the three erectile tissue chambers of the female genital system deeply penetrates with that wonderful vibration and really gets you plump and engorged so you have more surface area on your genital system that sends more signals to your biggest sex organ your brain so your brain's like oh yeah yeah you know like that's what we want and it takes us like 20 or 30 minutes to really achieve that you know why day two sex is better it's because you're already starting with like this base of engorgement and our male body partners are so lucky they they react so fast they have such fast acting hemodynamics which i love it's the word for fast blood flow but we have slow blood flow in our female genitals and so i do love this one so i'll make sure make sure that Fun Factory sends you one of these.
Yeah, and we'll, you don't have to get the link. I'm sure the listeners will want to know what we're talking about. So I'll have to leave. Oh, yeah, I'll give you a link. Yeah. Actually, any sex toy I talk about is usually going to be at orgasmiccrosstraining.com. So if I talk about things, you're like, what the fuck is up there? Orgasmiccrosstraining.com.
because one talk about things you're like what the fuck is right there orgasmic crosstraining.com because one of the things that i like to do is i have there's there's eight different types of sex toys for the vulva for the you know for the yoni owner the yoner the clip boner and i like a woman to have at least one of each in her pleasure chest so she's cross training the sensation and expanding her orgasmic capacity and there's four for the penis owner or lingam as the tantric masters say and so uh that's all at orgasmic cross training.com and the ones that are in mybe Award winners have little stars next to them.
So if you're like you live at home with kids or you live in community in a home or what have you, and you're like, I really don't want everyone to know when I'm masturbating, you can use one of the quiet ones. That's awesome. That's good.
I never even thought about the sound, I guess, because we have older kids and our room is kind of separate but if you had smaller kids and they were kind of really close to you that would totally be something to think about and i've never even thought about that so good to know okay so you get into the the zone and sometimes you use partners sometimes you you just, you just spend hours masturbating, playing with yourself, having sex, like how do you, I guess, experiment in these, these ways to orgasm?
Well, there's 20 different, 2021 different kinds of orgasms that the human body can have. This is, it doesn't matter what your equipment is. We have all these different ways we can come. And so I just have systematically been learning how to have each kind of orgasm. For me, it started out, I learned how to have a clitoral orgasm. Then I wanted to have orgasms from intercourse reliably without meeting any external stimulation. I just wanted to come while I was getting aft.
And so I taught myself how to do that. And I... reliably without needing any external stimulation. I just wanted to come while I was getting aft. And so I taught myself how to do that. And I find that that's the thing that most women want as on the top of their list, that they're not really yet having reliable orgasms. There's a good amount of women that can't come from penetrate or maybe can't is not the right word, but I have a difficult time orgasming from internal stimulation or penetration.
Yeah, and that's why you just need to know what to do. Um, at, I'm going to drop a lot of links because we could go down a million raffles, but I want to give people assets and information. So orgasmicintercourse.com has the 10 techniques that I guarantee will get you coming from intercourse. And the thing is that a lot of women think, oh, I just can't. They don't, people don't realize that. I've had people tell me that.
And then their partner doesn't think they can, but he's like, well, I'm going to fuck you anyway. And so then it's like, she's just like submitting or like, Oh, I just like to be close to him. And that doesn't scale. So that's like a recipe for cheating, divorce, disaster, platonic relation, not hot sex, the rest of your life. And so orgasmicintercourse.com gives you techniques that will help you do what I like to call cross the chasm, close the orgasm gap once and for all.
So I learned how to orgasm from intercourse. Then I found my G-spot. I needed to like kind of disarm it and, you know, soften it and expand it. And then I started having kind of G-spot orgasms. And the G-spot isn't a spot. It's a long tube of tissue.
It's the same tube of tissue that goes down the urethra inside the penis it's we have the same exact part and um it's your internal penis yeah it's like it's like an internal uh erectile tissue tube yeah and then i started learning how to ejaculate some women can do it naturally other women learn how to release their feminine waters their divine nectar started ejaculating squirting squirting is the porn term yeah um and i think a lot of people think it's pee it's not i mean the easiest way to explain that it's not pee is like okay does a dude ejaculate and urinate out of the end of his penis yes okay well the end of your penis just happens to be in the vestibule inside the inner labia that's the end of your urethral canal his is at the outie at the end of his it's the same tube and so you ejaculate and urinate out of that same thing it has there's a little sphincter muscle that closes off the bladder so that the ejaculate can express so i learned that and then one of the things that really helped me cross that gasm chasm was an expanded orgasm practice.
And there's three types of orgasms, three categories of orgasms. There's locations to touch. And then there's like techniques to use, which is an expanded orgasm technique. It's a five stroke clitoral clitoral stroking technique. And then there's objects of desire, whether that's fetish wear or, you know, a crop or a vibrator or sensation play or whatever it is. Those are ways to come as well.
And so I started doing an expanded orgasm practice a couple of decades ago with my husband and we still do it to this day and it essentially what's interesting about it is that it's a very specific kind of clitoral stroking technique very easy to learn but what it does is it actually is kind of like big wave surfing of orgasms you you go you get towed out by your partner with this clit stroke and you get up in this wave and this wave is big and it goes a long way back to the shore so it's essentially like taking you know how a lot of people think about that old masters and johnson um style of orgasm where it's like you know you get aroused and you go into the arousal and then you have the climax and fall off and that then you have your refractory period well nobody really needs to do that that's just tied to the ejaculatory orgasm so it's really just the kind of like patriarchal old school view of what an orgasm is like lots of guys are multi-orgasmic they're having pea spot orgasms they're having blended orgasms they're having nipplegasms they're having all 20 different kinds of orgasms just like the female body but when women think that they're like this is their pattern i'm gonna you know fucking, I'm gonna have that one orgasm, like that is the most bare bones, basic approach to an orgasm you can have, there's so much more.
And one of them is this notion that you can take the moment of climax, and you can almost like stretch time, like you're pulling taffy, where it's just like, you just go into into the orgasm but you stay in that climax so it no longer is the moment of climax it is now the duration of climax and then you can stack those over time as you get more and more and more turned on and they're more intense Each subsequent orgasm is more intense. And then it lasts even longer.
Like I can easily come for an hour, pretty much the whole time doing this clit stroking practice because it's a very light stroke on the meat of the shaft and glands of the clit. And what that does is it doesn't blow out your circuits so that you have to have a refractory period. You just keep coming and coming and coming.
Sometimes I like to call it the quantum gasm because it's just like, ah, it's like expanding in like a you know like a black hole is you know like a star is exploding that's what it's like and that's the orgasm that i learned where i really touched source god gaia all life i felt connected to my humanity in a palpable way that i'd never felt before.
So when the tantric masters are talking about this ecstatic bliss-gasm type of stuff, that's the technique that works really well to get you into that experience. This makes me want to go sign up for a workshop or something. I know, it really does.
I'll send tonight and just add.com to that expand her orgasm tonight.com i'll send you i think i already gave you access to all my books and programs um and that's called expand her orgasm tonight it's interesting that is that is cool because you actually get these 21 erotic play dates that give you the different facets of learning the experience together. And so it's really fun. It's like a fun couple's project. It's a series of erotic play dates that teach you how to do this.
You have to, as the woman, learn how to come this way.
And he, as your partner, or they, as your partner, have to learn how to come you this way and one of my favorite things about the practice is that for many women they've always approached their sexuality as a quid pro quo you do me and i'll do you you know it's like we both have to get off um and for some women it is extremely healing to have the full attention of pleasure on only her pleasure but actually what a man learns if it's male body partners it's doing anybody can do it um i am a gender spectrum sparkle rainbow pony supporter um Um, the, uh, the giver is learning how to lock their limbic system in and like when i gave my girlfriend all those yoni massages for that year that you know that nine months that she was pregnant last year i was coming making her come yeah it's not like you're not coming you learn how to give the orgasm but you ride the orgasm you're giving it's it's very very sexy yeah and it really makes you good in bed together and it's interesting to me you know because there's five people listening to you like this this sounds like you know i mean if you're just a normal married couple that have you know wednesday sex and you know it's let's let's fuck and get it over with and we can both come and go to sleep because we got to work early tomorrow you know like you might not be buying into this but i i know that what you're saying is true because we're swingers and we have sex with a lot of people i've had sex with women that when they come they come for 10 15 20 you know mean, like they can just keep going and going.
And then like Lacey's multi orgasmic, her orgasms are usually pretty quick, but she can have 10, 20 in a, you know, in a play session. And so, like, I guess in my head, I always thought just like every woman was different. But if I'm hearing what you're saying is it's not necessarily that every woman is different.
It's like they've learned different ways to have orgasms and they've kind of like locked themselves into that one bubble of okay this is how i know how to come and so this is how i'm going to do it but what you're saying is probably what every woman is capable of having all these different types of orgasms they just don't they don't know how kind of like you learn how to squirt you learn how to you know sort of the same thing yeah yeah and you know we've gotten into that you know women have come up to us and and said oh i i heard dan knows how to make girls squirt right and i don't even like that word make girls squirt but it's like well you i can help teach you how i think it works but really and you know some of the husbands will be like yeah i just can't do it and it's like it's like, well, it's not you, right?
It's probably her. She just needs to learn what it feels like and how to let go and, you know, all these kind of things. So I definitely think it's interesting to approach sex with a you can learn how to do this or approach orgasms with you can learn how to do this and expand this and try new things. It's not a yes or no kind of answer. Yeah, because that's the whole notion of orgasmic activation and orgasmic cross I'll see you next time.
and expand this and try new things um it's not a yes or no kind of answer yeah because that's the whole notion of orgasmic activation and orgasmic cross-training is you're you're just you're just laying down new neural pathways to different areas of your brain one of my mentors dr nan wise she's the woman who put she's a sexologist neuroscientist and um her whole focus is on generating more pleasure and a part of what she does is she maps the brain based on what parts of the vulva or the yoni are being stimulated to show that the more areas you get stimulated concurrently the more sensation and pleasure you're creating and the more kind of oxygenation and blood flow to all these areas of the brain that you're doing, which makes you live longer, and it reboots your nervous system, and it generates neurotransmitters and hormones, and as long as you're pooping well.
You know, so much of sex is just understanding how your meat operating system works, and then work in it, you know, which is why I love the notion. I actually got that idea of orgasmic cross training from Sherry Winston and said, well, let's figure out how to do that with vibrators, with sex tools. It's not all vibration, but with sex tools, because, you know, sex tech is just incredible now.
And it can really accelerate your orgasmic capacity by cross-training with the different types of tools, touching the different parts of the vulva and the vagina. I mean, spelunking that cavern is like one of my favorite things to do these days. So that's a whole other area of activation, not just the clit or the G spot or whatever, but like the deep recesses of beyond just the lining of the vagina, but into the whole like meat of the woman. That's a super hot area of exploration today.
Interesting. Interesting.
Okay, I think now it's probably time to take a little break and hear from the partners and sponsors of the swing nation podcast and then thank you sponsors yeah we love our sponsors uh and then when we get back we're gonna get back into it with susan and maybe i'd really like to hear your your advice um for couples out there you know we talked about all the different ways to to orgasm and some of the you know you gave some links and stuff but I think for a lot of couples you know they're probably having that Wednesday sex right now and kind of in that funk of the routine of of sex and probably looking for ways to get out of that so I'd really I'd be interested in your take on that on the backside of the break.
All right, guys, I think with that, we'll be right back. We here at the Swing Nation podcast are proud to partner with Promescent. Listen, guys, we've all been there.
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Appreciate you listening to our sponsors. Like Susan said, we love all of our sponsors. She sent us a bunch of stuff. We might actually get a few more affiliates and sponsors here shortly. It's a lot of fun stuff. All right. So on the front side of the break, we promised that Susan was going to help all the couples out there that are, you know, I can think back to before me and Lacey got married and became all these crazy swingers.
You know, I was in a long-term monogamous relationship and sex really did become routine.
It like okay i need to have sex but we're tired and we're working and we got little children and it's like okay let's like roll over let me fuck you real quick so we can come and we can go to bed i think that's unfortunately where a lot of couples are probably or in in something similar that that's what their sex life looks like so i guess what would be what what can they do about that what would be your advice to the couples like that it's so funny too literally as you were like you know turn over and i'll just fuck you and i was just like i know i hate that so well not i mean i don't want to call any but it wasn't only that it was like that's all she wanted it was like yeah okay i know it but like i'll just yeah yeah she's that was mercy sex yeah it's over with but i think we've all been there i've done that oh yeah she's done that to me too yeah yeah we've all been there but it but good sex is just so much better it's so much better it is and you know earlier in the podcast you said you know it takes time people are busy and i get that there is you know a decade of your life as you're raising your children and some people they have like a four-year-old and a 17-year-old and i'm like yeah we talk about this all the time we talk about that all the time yeah because people don't understand why we like don't have kids together and stuff like that which we can't now but we're like why would we want to start over no thank you we're good i love my kids but yeah i'm good i love my kid too and um we there was a decade there where it was a little bit harder but honestly after a few years they start to you know like after six years they kind of individuate and they don't need you so much and you have a little bit more time but yeah you're gonna take it your sex life's gonna take a back seat to your child rearing generally but remember you've got your whole life to keep getting better in bed keep incrementing your orgasmic capacity, keep getting more comfortable trying new things.
And so.
keep getting better in bed keep incrementing your orgasmic capacity keep getting more comfortable trying new things and so I think when sexperts say you know you need to schedule sex I'm like oh well good luck when you're busy and you're tired and you're stressed out it's like you just need a glass of wine watch tv and go to sleep i mean i understand it and that's why i like to think and i mentioned this earlier i like to think about things as erotic play dates and they don't have to take that long but there's two tricks the first trick is first all, the couples that do new things together, new sexual things together, their sex life keeps getting better and better.
The couples that do quickies and mercy sex, their sex life gets worse and worse. They're probably going to get divorced. They're probably going to stop having sex. Somebody's going to cheat. Like it's the wrong path to go down. So now that you know that your sex life can keep getting better, that it's a part of your personal life.
So now that you know that your sex life can keep getting better, that it's a part of your personal life, that it's the wrong path to go down so now that you know that your sex life can keep getting better that it's a part of your personal growth that they are all learned skills you and you're listening to the swing nation podcast for god you'll like your sex you're at least a little freaky probably yeah or at least thinking about I don't need you know I just want to you're my people yeah uh you are what i call the sexual seeker you're the one who's like tell me more yeah i am interested yeah my kids are driving me crazy right now and i am freaking tired but i want to keep it getting better i know that it fuels me i know that my vitality and My sexual vitality are two sides of the same coin.
So let's go. What do I do? And for that, it's not scheduled sex. It's erotic play dates. What are you going to do together to begin as beginners to have fun experiences where you know that, hey, maybe the first time we try this, you know, it was a little weird and we just laughed about it. Those make great memories.
But by the third time you try something that you think is going to be good, and you're kind of your friends, or you heard Susan talk about it, or whatever it is, and you're like, Oh, damn, I'm glad we did that. That was fun. And now it's part of my it's like one of my top things I love to do.
And so one of the things that I did, you know, I've written a lot of sex techniques, and I've written a lot of bedroom communication skills, but what I really think people like the most from me are ideas for erotic play dates. And so I put together something that basically you can just print out. It's at sexlifebucketlist.com and it's 48 erotic play dates.
And it comes with a video where i walk you through the 48 and kind of because you're like what the hell is that you know and there's nothing weird on it there's nothing where you're gonna be like i'm super embarrassed right now listening to her talk about this thing with my husband sitting here or whatever it's not gonna have any of that kind of icky stuff i'm done talking about poo.
Let's experiment experiment with let's experiment with scatology look there's none of that in there and so so basically it's um what kinds of fun things do you want to do together and you mark them in a b or c a is oh yeah you you remember we talked about wanting to try that we never did it that's on my bucket list b is maybe it wouldn't be on my bucket list that if you want to do it i will totally do that with you like if you want to learn rope bondage and tie me up okay you know whatever it might be and then c's are it's not for me right now never say never the wise one the wise elder says someday you're going to look at that thing and go why would anybody want to be Thank you.
me right now never say never the wise one the wise elder says someday you're going to look at that thing and go why would anybody want to be spanked and now you're like oh god i am fantasizing while i masturbate about being spanked you know so you just you just work your way up to things and so what i love about the sex life i do too what i love about the sex life bucket list is it gets you talking about what's turning you on right now and it gives you something to try that's not just roll over and i'll stick it in and we'll go to sleep it's like okay we are going i'm getting takeout on the way home we are putting those damn kids to bed and i got a good night's sleep the night before and I've got the room all set up I've got the lover space as I like to call it the candle is lit and the water pitcher is filled and the sheets we've got the fascinator on top of the bed and I've got a stack of clean towels and I've got all my lubes I want to talk about the loops and um you know i've got it all ready okay baby kids are better let's go we're gonna try this toy or we're gonna i'm gonna find your g-spotter we're gonna do whatever and so what i love is that in this 48 play dates you're gonna go through the video and you're gonna be like i didn't even know that was a thing and now that's what i want to do when it's my first thing and i love that process of discovery growth learning and that new relationship that new sexual energy that comes from doing new things together and so there are things that don't take very long like a lingerie photo shoot you know like okay yeah get that gold bounce out i'll put on those stripper shoes let's do it that sounds fun and then you get a little turned on and then you're like okay now i do one sec yeah no i think that's really good because we all us three are really open to talk about our sex sexuality and our fantasies and stuff like that but i can think about like me and previous relationships or in my previous marriage and stuff like that like i'd always been interested in being with a girl but like the thoughts of saying that out loud sounded like yes that to a person sounded so terrifying but like if you are just checking it on a box that might be a little less and you know your partner's doing the same yeah yeah so it's kind of like a like a safer way to to have these conversations and it be okay and i even like the whole bucket list you know so me and lacy recent well probably within the last year started when we go so we just went on the bliss cruise which is a complete um cruise ship takeover and so when we do big events like this when you were on your way right when we do big events like this we've started to make bucket lists for the event saying, OK, we're going on this cruise.
What are some things we would like to, you know, experiment with or experiences we'd like to have on this cruise? And we make a little what we've done in the past is like she makes three things she wants me to try to do. And then I'll make three things that I think she should try to do. And then we make like three things that I would like to do.
You know, so we kind of give each other other a couple things and and then kind of set some goals for ourself and um now some of our friends and you know some of the people that we know they start making lists and so now even if you don't even do anything we kind of when you show up on the ship it's like oh what's on your list oh what's on your list and you're like oh a gangbang's on your list oh well there's four dudes right here we could probably make that happen tonight and it just kind of starts all that conversation of you know what are some things we can do and it kind of sets the stage for things and because that's often the hardest part is just getting people to nobody wants to kind of make that first move or like kind of say the thing but if we're all kind of making lists and comparing them then it's just kind of out there so what was on your bucket list on the bliss cruise we did we did terrible on our bucket list but the time before that we actually did really well we not like almost all of them off but this time i've i've always wanted to go it's been on mine both times the girl they have a girl-on-girl play time like the playroom's open for only females so no males can go in there i've always wanted to do that i never have i still didn't do it um another one of ours was to have sex on the outdoor play area on the top deck of the cruise ship so we did do that um which was really cool uh gotta send those balls yeah uh what else like some things like airtight was a thing on your list that we actually didn't accomplish but it's still i just did my first airtights oh my god i've done it too so fun yeah i've done it too so if anybody doesn't know what that is it's um basically all your orifice is filled with a penis so vagina ass and and mouth that would be airtight and lacy's done that once or twice yeah um but not it doesn't happen very often she has the heart she is not a huge anal sex person so it takes the right guy for her to have anal sex she's actually had we talk about all the time she's had more anal sex with other people than me me because she doesn't like my penis in her butt.
But that's a whole other story. Because it's giant. Yeah. But, yeah, the whole idea of setting bucket lists I think is great to encourage people to try new things. Yeah. Good. Well, you know, let's talk about giant penises since we are. Okay. Let's do it. Well, I don't know if we really talked about it. We kind of talked. How did we get on this side? We just talked about yours. We just talked about your giant penis. It's not giant. It's above average. Yeah. It's good. I'm sure it's beautiful.
But what you have advice for what were you going to say about giant penises? Yeah, I was just going to talk about male enhancement. Yeah, let's do it. I'm kind of jokingly called the queen of peen which i love and that's because i have a book here i'll hold it up it's called uh the pump guide it's at pumpingguide.com and i've taught over 10 000 men how to use a vacuum erection device a penis pump the right kind with the protocol I have in this book to do not just reversal of atrophy.
So as you age, your penis shrinks, it has less blood flow, it loses its veininess, it loses its firmness. You can reverse that using a penis pump. And then by the way, if the pump doesn't quite get you where you want to go, you can go get Gaines Wave.
I really want to want to recommend gainswave i'm actually a spokesperson for the company because these two things work so well together the whopper pump and the gainswave to restore function that you lose as you age like if you look at old people they're tiny and they shrunk well there's no big dick left in this it's got a little tiny dick now right like we shrink same with the female genitals because we've got the same erectile tissue and so using a lady pump or the whopper for bringing blood flow in a couple times a week to the penis it does a couple things number one it kind of knocks the plaque off the arteries by bringing like forcing more blood in through the vacuum that pulls and expands the capillaries.
And then what that does is it lets the nerves grow because they start to retract as the blood supply retracts.
And then you get this nice veiny penis again, which I love because that's like a signal of fertility, just like a loves big boobs or you know that that fecund look of the feminine the feminine loves that nice veiny hard erect penis and it it stimulates new tissue growth so it's reversing atrophy and kind of giving you back what you're losing as you age but you can keep pumping for enlargement and a good pumping routine a couple of times a week with the whopper which is this dual cylinder system that i sent you yeah i was gonna say you actually you actually sent me my my my very first penis pump well and there's a female seen one in real life and there's a female one too which I didn't even know existed until I opened this box I had no idea just grab grab the penis pump real quick because I do have but I love to pump my it is so nice to draw all that blood in yeah that's a hand pump so this is a hair and pump yeah I'll kind of almost I mean it's little it's just a little pump that you kind of pump and it's got a little air thing on it and then there's a need the gauge that's one of the most important things and there's sizes then you have these different sized cylinders cylinders right and one of the nice things about this whopper is that it's a two-cylinder system i don't recommend water pumps and i don't recommend single cylinder systems i recommend the whopper because first pump you put your balls and your dick in there and that pulls on the suspensory ligament so it increases the drop the elongation the lengthening of your penis it'll make your dick longer and it doesn't hurt your balls and it doesn't grow your balls it just brings blood flow to your so you just say in this bigger tube you put your balls and your penis in yeah okay and then there's what a hose that hooks from this to that yeah it's in the box and then there's a smaller one and that's got to be sized correctly for your penis and it comes in an array of sizes and basically if you pump a couple times a week over 10 or 12 months can pretty consistently you can get 20 to 25 percent larger penile volume your overall peanut look both length and girth will get bigger and then it's like bodybuilding where you basically you maintain the growth that you got by continuing to do it frequently but not as much as you used to have to do to get to the size that you want and there are guys i just got a picture of a guy who is nine inches long, seven inches of girth, and he needed a bigger cylinder.
He needed a 12 inch cylinder to get his penis in that.
And, um, that he even still wants to work on his penile volume because you can imagine it takes a lot of blood flow getting into that penis and he wants to keep that thing working really really well okay so it doesn't matter whether you're you know an inch or two and you want to get 20 to 25 percent growth on that and you can keep going or you're four inches five inches six inches seven inches you know it's just a healthy thing to do whether you're just doing it to keep atrophy at bay or you're doing it for getting larger and i call it like hashtag self-care down there and for the female anatomy you have a vulva pump and you have clitoral pumps and the clitoral pump will pull the blood into your clitoris and kind of pump it up and give you a clitoral erection which increases the surface area which sends more pleasure signals to the brain as over time i have been doing a lot of sexual biohacking and i've had a lot of prp injections into my clitoral structure i pump Thank you.
over time i have been doing a lot of sexual biohacking and i've had a lot of prp injections into my clitoral structure i pump and next week i'm going to put my own stem cells injected into my clitoris just to like see what it does i've never done it yeah so we've heard about like prp and some of the stem cell we actually just talked to somebody recently about stem cell stuff and it's interesting you know so like we're about to hit 40 and so you know we're starting to you know think about our age and think about vitality and so i think a lot of these subjects are are pretty interesting so you're saying for me i should use this penis pump twice a week to kind of get things going and then you said then once a week after how long well about you know honestly how big would you like your penis to be i think i don't want it to be any bigger i don't think the guys are all rolling their eyes i don't want to be much bigger but i do you know you're talking about atrophy and stuff i've noticed all the over the years you know when i was 18 would, I could come three, four, five times in a day.
Now it's, I don't, it's becoming harder and harder for me to orgasm. And I assume it's from what you're saying. So, you know, there's not as many nerve endings or, you know, things like that. Is that, is that. I think part of it is probably sensation loss. Another thing that I would recommend that you do is prostate pleasuring.
One of the things that I like is um like a prostate massager inserted into your rectum and then give lacy the remote control and maybe give her a yoni massage or make out with her and play with her boobs while you have that in and she's stroking your cock and then she can like change the little you know vibration patterns and you can feel that and it gets blood flowing into your prostate because your prostate is what actually creates the semen volume so you get the sperm from your testicles mixing in with the semen from your prostate and your urethra runs through that so many men as they age they start to get like urination issues or benign prostatic hyperplasia they can't leave the house because they're worried they'll piss their pants they have to wear pads or they just get a dribble out and they can't quite get a full stream or you know there's a lot of things that the prostate is responsible for and so prostate stimulation with a great prostate i have three that i like they're at on orgasmic crosstraining.com and they're three different sizes there's like what'd you say so you have to send us one of those too dan's like don't forget about me yes honey i will send you whatever you want um i like they're small medium and large and um i We need baby size we've never done much prostate massaging large yeah that was my boyfriend he was all like hey i know what you think you're big he's like i'll like me and i'm like oh i'm gonna talk about poo again yeah so i was like baby your poos are bigger than that thing he's like, but still.
And so the molto is the small. And then the medium is the plex. And the large is called the vice two. And that's the one I like to give my husband. And I'm like, put this in and give me the remote. He gives me a yoni massage. And while I'm laying there orgasming with these expanded orgasms, if he gives me something particularly good, I now don't have to go, Oh, that was fantastic. I can just press the button. And he's like, Oh, she liked that. I feel a different. Oh, I'm doing good.
And it has this little thing on it that I call the it's basically this turbo button.
And so he can be like giving me a yoni massage and I can change it or I can go like this and he'll be like oh she likes that it's like a whole new kind of bio feedback and it's healthy I'm helping keep his prostate healthy and giving him orgasms it's like what's not to love you know that's awesome interesting yeah interesting stuff all great things we gotta keep Susan in our in our rolodex i know come teach us all the things i want to thank you for the opportunity i love as you can tell i love it this is kind of a little bit separate subject but one of my favorite partners to have sex with is older older women um and and lacy's like well what is it about an older woman and i've always told lacy like they don't care anymore like they know what they like they know what feels good they know how to have good sex and it's like their give a fuck is gone you know i mean like they're gonna tell you right yeah they're not afraid to lick your ass or you know stroke your balls or do whatever the things are like older women just have they got it.
They got past all that, you know, uncomfortableness and they just want to have good sex. And I've always had great experiences with older women that we've played with. Plus, we're beautiful and hot, too. And all that as well. Exactly. I mean, sexuality is ageless.
If you just don't have a limiting mindset, you have better and and better sex as you go and it makes you more young and more handsome or beautiful i mean it's just you can tell sexy people are just they just are more alluring more happy more happy there's definitely people that are having good sex definitely have a different energy about them they do okay so the other thing you sent us that we probably want to touch on real quick is you sent us some lubes and some, I think, sex suppositories are in there.
There was all kinds of stuff. Yeah, melts they're called. Yeah, we were talking about these earlier today in our work meeting. We were like, what is this? Where do you put this? What do you do?
So we need need all the information so um take out the melts take out the sex oil and take out the awaken this is my pleasure protocol and i want you guys to try it so i'm going to tell you how to do it awaken okay okay i got it yeah so this is for those of you listening or watching it's at pleasureprotocol.com don't worry i always have a link for you so you can find the stuff i talk about because it's infuriating when you hear something you want to try and then you're like where do i get that so um essentially this this company foria like euphoria they make this three they make a lot of different things but this is the three things that i love one is these melts and they're made from cocoa butter cbd and botanicals and they have booty melts intimacy melts relief melts and vibrance melts and basically you pop this little cocoa butter trochee up inside your vagina and it melts or if you're having anal up inside your booty and it melts and it coats the whole mucosal lining and makes it really nice and the thing about cbd is that first of all it's not thc it's not going to give you any you know you're not going to get you high but um what it does is it leverages your endocannabinoid system, which is your healing pleasure pathway.
And so it lubricates and coats the lining because it's hard to get the lube up in there. And so for women who have a lot of dryness or loss of lubrication, they're going through menopause or they've had, they've been ill or what have you. This really bolsters those linings. And then you take the awakened oil. And I like my lover to put it on me. I pop the melt up inside me. The awakened oil.
If, Dan, you just take two or three squirts on your palm and you go like this and then you rub it on her vulva, rub it on Lacey's vulva, like across the mons, on the outer labia, the inner labia, inside the vestibule, on the clitoral tip and shaft and over the covering, all the way down to the perineum. And you just kind of put it on. It smells so good, doesn't it? It does. Yeah. Oh my God. I'm like Pavlovian. I can smell that now when I get turned on.
And what does is it activates here I am again the brain yoni connection the endocannabinoids trigger the endo in your tissue trigger your brain to be like oh oh no oh no that feels good right and then you have sex oil for all the slide and glide that you want you can reapply that as much as you need you can coat him with it and then you get you know all that nice smooth slide and glide and so i love the three things they work perfectly together they're really they're they're almost like an erotic play date themselves because you're doing a new thing and i will tell you there is something so nice about intercourse with the melt in my vagina i love it and it's funny too because yeah when my boyfriend smells that he's like oh god it just it turns me on so it's it really becomes a trigger right so so you put this in right before you have sex anytime like the vibrance ones you can put it in the morning they just kind of lubricate you oh wow good but like the relief melts are really good for just being really dry the uh intimacy one you can put you can put it in just – if you're like, oh, I'm about to get penetrated and I forgot to put my melt in, put it in.
It will melt within minutes and time. Oh, okay. That's what I was at. That's what I meant. So you don't have to put it in a long time before. You can really put it in any time. Yeah. And how long does it last for? Like a day, a couple hours?
You know, it lubricates that tissue for probably a good 24 hours yeah that's actually i think we're probably thinking the same thing so we go to a lot of like uh events or you know if you go to a swingers club or like we're getting ready to go to jamaica hedonism next week and so like tomorrow uh it's seven days and during those seven days sometimes you're having sex three four or five times a day so you know sometimes lacy's had issues where after day three four or five every time every time starts to get a little sore you know i mean so having something like that where you can kind of lube yourself for the day by putting a putting a suppository i'm bringing these with me oh no because that is honest to god truth dan and i don't use a lot of lube between the two of us we just like go at it and just we don't think about it and then when we're on these like swinger cruises or at hidden is um you know usually by day three or four i am like oh i like i can feel especially because we talked about it he's not a small guy and so i get up the next morning i can feel where he's been basically which is pretty hot but in itself but something like this for an extended trip would be ideal for me so i really like that take it all with you yes and then this intimacy oil is this is it used as a lube or is it just used to kind of arousal stuff and then you use lube on top of it?
It's a pre-lubricant. The Awaken is a pre-lubricant. It will get your juices running. Oh. Cool. These are all really cool. So you don't need much and you don't want to use it as a lube. You want to use it as a coating to activate your own body's responses.
Then the sex oil is the one where you're like you just put on all you need all the time anywhere you need it yeah and what's great is it's there's i don't like generally i don't like lubes i never called any of this a lube by the way because a lubricant is actually an fda class two um you, regulated item, and it must have preservatives in it. Well, the thing is, when you're really working with things like CBD, MCT oil, botanicals, they're very stable.
And so it doesn't have those kind of horrible chemicals in it. Like so many women, the reason they don't use lube is it dries, it ultimately dries them out. It makes it worse Thank you.
have those kind of horrible chemicals in it like so many women the reason they don't use lube is it dries it ultimately dries them out it makes it worse for them but what i love about this is i never said it was a lubricant i said it was a sex oil for slide and glide i said it was a melt right so this is cocoa butter so these things you don't even need to wipe it off with a towel if you're just going from like you know penetration to oral to penetration to oral and normally you like that because you're not using anything so you can go back and forth it's just your body's fluids you will actually not you will like going back and forth back and forth even more because now you've got this assist of all this wonderful cocoa butter and MCT oil and things like that.
So the taste on all that stuff is fine. It's good. Delicious. Somebody just actually wrote into us about that, about what to use. So when you are playing with someone, it doesn't taste bad. And so that's pretty neat. Yeah. Pleasure protocol. Yep. That's pretty awesome. Boom. Good.
Enjoy enjoy it let me know how you like it and if you need more you could be you could be like i'm gonna need a big case of this now let's get it sent to you i know that's great i know and i'm thinking of like my friends that are going to be there they're going to be like give me one of those i know if you weren't leaving so soon i would have um gotten you a bunch of samples to giveaway. Oh, that's fine. They're very generous with me. Oh, that's awesome. Well, we do stuff all the time. Yeah.
Next time. Yeah. When we host events, we like give out swag bags and stuff like that. So, you know, samples. Oh, good. Yeah. Yeah. Let's connect on all that. I can get you the STI collection kits, too. Oh, awesome. Yeah. Awesome. Cool. Okay. Well, I think we're – Before they get on the boat, though. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Okay. We're getting ready to run out of time, but I just want to give you an opportunity.
If people want to hear you and listen to more and check out all your books and your different programs, how do they go about finding you, Susan? Yeah. The best place to find me is at betterlover.com and I have an email newsletter and I'm constantly sending out sex techniques and all kinds of stuff. Like I just love to teach people as much as I possibly can.
And so, um, if you're on my email list at betterlover.com, there's hundreds of videos there, like how to give a yoni massage, expanded orgasm practice, all the stuff I've talked about, how to pump your penis. It's all there. Um, you can reply to any email you get from me with any question that you have. It This is a production of the U. And I will answer you. It's what made me good at what I do was helping you. So I love your questions.
And almost always, the questions that you send me, I'm going to be like, Oh yeah, here's a video to watch. Here's a book to read. Here's a thing to do. You know, it's like, it's I've answered these questions for decades and then you can follow me on Instagram or YouTube. I'm always Susan Bratton or better lover. And so, but if you slide into my DMS, it's kind of a pain in the ass to answer you. So I'd rather you be on my newsletter and ask me there. That's just a lot easier.
But I will answer you no matter what. So I am here for you. And thank you both so much for having me. Of course. I have thoroughly enjoyed it. And God, there's so much more we could talk about. I know. I was going to say, I feel like we might need to do more. I know.
I feel like we only got halfway through all the things we wanted to talk about but i want to do more sounds good well me too but i don't i'm talking about the podcast you're focusing on the podcast i want to do so much more i have such a big swing nation bucket list i can send you my test results wait away that was great I can send you my test results right away I can send you mine we're so cute I love you I love it I'm like blushing and I'm not even involved that's great well we do we definitely do we appreciate you taking the time we know you're busy and my pleasure all the sending us all the stuff and the and the toys and we we have i think we have a lot we have yeah we have some play dates to schedule yeah you've got your homework to do i'm gonna have i'm gonna have my little dominatrix outfit on have my little crop for the next one and i'm gonna be like okay yeah i want to hear about your homework or something's gonna to get a spanking i like it i like it spank him spank him well we'll definitely have about your homework or something's gonna get a spanking i like it i like it spank him spank him well we'll definitely have to have to keep in touch thank you all right well thanks guys okay i think with that in a world full of apples be the pineapple be the pineapple guys bye if you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us leave a five-star review wherever you're listening if you want to see more of our content you can find links to snapchat twitter instagram only fans and more in the show notes come join the conversation with us and other swinger content creators on our swinger society discord server if you have questions or feedback email them to us at the swing nation at gmail.com make sure you head on over to the swing nation.net and keep up to date on all things swing nation we thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time goodbye
