Send us Fan MailTuesday Talks: Navigating the Transition from Solo to Couple | Episode 1Welcome to a special segment of The Swing Nation Podcast: Tuesday Talks! Join hosts Dan and Lacy as they kick off this exciting new format by answering listener questions and diving deep into topics relevant to the swinging community.In this debut episode of Tuesday Talks, Dan and Lacy tackle a question from Danielle from Instagram, who asks about navigating the transition from being a single female in the swingers lifestyle to being part of a couple. Drawing from their own experiences and insights gained from years in the lifestyle, Dan and Lacy offer practical advice and guidance for Danielle and anyone else facing a similar transition. Whether you re a single individual exploring the lifestyle or part of a couple navigating new dynamics, this episode offers valuable insights and strategies for a smooth transition.Tune in to Tuesday Talks as Dan and Lacy provide candid answers to listener questions, share personal anecdotes, and offer expert advice to help you navigate the complexities of the swingers lifestyle with confidence and ease. Remember to Subscribe, rate, and review on your favorite podcast platform.- The Swing Nation - Main Website Quick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links more!) Follow us on Facebook! The Podcast Website- Swinger Society - Our Website to meet, connect events Swinger Society Discord Our Facebook Group- Swinger Websites -Kasadie 90 day free trialUsername: TheSwingNation SDC 14 day free trial Username: TheSwingNation** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! ** SLSUsername: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl- Merch More -Order Your Merch Here!- Lacy’s Fun Links - VIP OnlyFans PREMIUM OnlyFans-- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS --Wisp : Making sexual healthcare inclusive, cost-effective, and accessible—for everyoneUse Code SWING at checkout for 15% off your oder! Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testingUse Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order!Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great SexUse Code SwingNation for 5% off!Pinaq Liqueur; The Official Drink of The Swing NationUse Code TSN at checkout for 15% off!Support the show- Thank you for the support! -
Transcript
Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe, Speaker2: interview the experts, learn and grow together join the nation so lacy people are asking how do they get to go to a party or an event with us they check out swingers society.net you create a, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out Speaker1: with us. Super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net. Can't wait to see Speaker2: you there. Sexual health care can be so much more than STI testing. WISP offers services like emergency contraception, help in delaying your period, UTI treatments, and so much more. They You know what I mean? care can be so much more than STI testing. WISP offers services like emergency contraception, help in delaying your period, UTI treatments, and so much more. They even have a product called the OMG Cream that helps provide more fulfilling orgasms for women. WISP provides same-day prescriptions and can give you discreet treatment in the comfort and privacy of your own home. Check out the link in our show notes or go to HelloWISiz.com and use code SWING for 15% off. Most people have unprotected oral sex, right? Be honest. Now think about your last STD test. Did your doctor tickle your throat with something that looked like a giant Q-tip? Probably not. Yet that's the only way to check for oral gonorrhea or chlamydia, which are often asymptomatic. You need a better doctor. You need shamelesscare.com. Use coupon code TSN at checkout. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. podcast we are your hosts northern guy and southern girl and today's episode is our first ever tuesday talks it's so weird tuesday talks tuesday talks with dan and lacy yeah it's our first time it's our first time so y'all you all have so many questions that you message us daily and email us and just any way people can get in contact with us they're sending messages and they're asking for advice and it's really hard to take one question and make an entire podcast on it because our podcasts are an hour long so we thought that this would be like a fun idea to take one question each week and answer it and kind of release a short little mini podcast no i agree i agree and yeah if you have emailed us or dm'd us or messaged us and you haven't got a response we try to respond to as many of those as we can but especially when we have videos that go viral sometimes we get hundreds if not thousands of those a day yeah so it can be very difficult to get to them and some of them are just like hey how are you right so yeah i'm not gonna be like oh we're you know i mean, we just can't engage in that many conversations. But I think this is a good idea.
Speaker1:
So if you have a question for us or if you want advice or you could, I think it's, we call it, like, ask me anything. Maybe you want to know more about our lives or about our dogs or, you know, whatever the
Speaker3:
case may be.
Speaker2:
Or if you have a swinger question.
Speaker1:
Swinger questions or advice or something like that, for sure. Reach out to us. Email us at theswingnation at gmail.com or reach out to us via DM on any of our
Speaker2:
Thank you. It comes from Instagram, and her name is Danielle, and this is her question. Hey, folks, I followed for a while on TikTok and wanted to ask a bit of advice. I've been part of the community as a unicorn for quite some time, and fast forward, I'm now in a relationship with someone from the community. We have played together as solos. I've seen him with others solo and been part of group play as well. But now we are in a relationship, and I don't know how to navigate playing with another couple he's straight and i'm by any tips would be much appreciated okay so if i'm understanding that question correctly yeah it sounds like her danielle and whoever her mystery guy is yeah we're part of some kind of swinger club or group or organization but both as singles and they've now decided to date yeah and i guess when they were singles they i assume had sex with each other and had sex with other people and it wasn't an issue they've been having sex uh but now that they're in a relationship how does that change their dynamics or what what how do they how should they handle that well this like speaks to me personally because speaks to both of us personally yeah yeah well i guess because it's coming from a female's perspective i guess that's why i was saying me but um because i really when you and i first started dating really struggled. I had never seen you play with anyone else. So that part is different. But I was very much aware that you were having sex with other people. So real quick, if people don't know, me and Lacey were both singles in the lifestyle. And that's how we met. Unlike Danielle, we weren't in the same group. No. I was traveling for work when we met. So we, we didn't run in the same circles, so to speak. So we had had sex, but then we had went our separate ways. And like you continue to play or have sex with your partners where you were from. And I continue to have sex with people from where I was from, but it wasn't intermingled. And then at some point we decided to be in a relationship and then we had to navigate how to be in a relationship after all of this. Right. And I think when we entered that, we were very ambitious. We thought we are swingers. We've been fucking other people forever just because we're dating each other now that shouldn't like we should still be able to do that like it should be okay and especially when things were casual with you and i we would have it was almost like hot to kind of talk about and it was very open like you'd be like oh i wouldn't fuck this girl and i'd be like oh i wouldn't fuck this couple and it was very fluid it would there was no jealousy it was very easy but like i think once we said like i love you maybe like somewhere in there something changed i know it did for me yeah um i can only speak for myself but something in there changed and it was very hard for me to be 500 miles away from you and you going to fuck someone else while I was simultaneously like falling in love with you like people don't talk about that which because most people have been in love for 20 years or 10 years or five years and then they decide to do this so we were falling in love while we were sleeping with other people so it was very hard for me to navigate that. It was a very weird and i was also i was upset with myself while i was feeling that because i was like wait a second you're a unicorn you're a swinger you've got this you know that sex is sex and there's no you know like you can have sex without a commitment and without feelings and like why are you getting so bogged I was mad at myself yeah and I can only imagine for Danielle you know like we said we didn't run in the same circles yeah but for her I know when I was a bull I kind of had relationships with couples you know I mean like I wasn't dating them we weren't poly or anything like that but there was even you know in the town that you lived in there was another couple that i saw regularly when i was in your town i would go see this couple and have sex with them and you know we had been doing that on and off for like a year you know i mean so there was almost like this pre-established relationship with another couple you had no idea who they were but i imagine if they run in the same circles you know she probably has somewhat of attachment with some people he probably has somewhat of an attachment with some people and now they're trying to like intermingle each other and still manage those relationships yeah that's got to be another level of challenge for sure um i will say that as we began me and you got began to get closer i i personally didn't want to see my established couples or established singles um and maybe that's a female thing maybe that was my emotion i don't know why that was the case so i'm curious if danielle also feels that way um but i really struggled with that because i only had eyes for you at that moment because I was smitten kitten. All I wanted was Dan,
Speaker3:
you know, and like,
Speaker2:
so I really, I struggle with navigating that.
Speaker3:
Yeah.
Speaker1:
So I will say as we began to fall in love, you kind of stopped seeing people altogether.
Speaker2:
Not on purpose though. More just like I said, I just didn't really have, like I was losing the desire to do that. Where I still, I think had a more, I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker1:
I don't know.
Speaker2:
I don't know.
Speaker1:
I don't know.
Speaker2:
I don't know.
Speaker1:
I don't know.
Speaker3:
I don't know. So, more just like I said, I just didn't really have, like, I was losing the desire to do that.
Speaker1:
Where I still, I think, had a more animalistic need that I needed satisfying.
Speaker3:
You know what I mean? Yeah, we were.
Speaker1:
For me, it's like, I know I'm not going to see you for a month or two months or whatever. Like, could I go that long without sex? Yes, but I didn't want to.
Speaker3:
You know what I mean?
Speaker2:
And you didn't have to.
Speaker1:
I didn't have to because we kind of had agreed that we didn't want to do that. But we're still trying to navigate that. And like you said, I had these friends with benefit kind of situations that had been ongoing for a while. But that was difficult for you because you would know. I'd tell you, I'd be like, hey, this girl's going to come over tonight. And you'd be like, okay. It's like, oh, she's probably going to spend the night. And you're like, what? It was just hard. It was really hard to deal with.
Speaker2:
So ultimately, we had to make a decision. And I think that's probably where Danielle is right now. It's kind of at that crossroads. We had to decide, okay, when are we going to continue this relationship? Because kind of what we were doing wasn't working. And two, we had to decide if we're going to stay together can we be swingers like we had to just kind of like figure all this out and truth be told we didn't have any boundaries we were just like we're going to kick ass at being swingers and we're just going to do everything and not like i would say when we first started dating we were trying to be open like in an open relationship where lacy sets her boundaries dan you know i set my own boundaries and we don't really set them together yeah and we just try to and it just didn't work it didn't work and so we really had to like kind of undo all of that if that makes sense so like we kind of had to stop everything that we were doing and reset and i think we took like a month a month to kind of like let the dust settle if you will we basically said we're going to stop seeing anybody else for 30 days yeah and we're just going to focus on our relationship and see if that's enough like if that's what we truly want like is our relationship enough to be a relationship on its own yeah and then if we feel like it is like if we feel like yes you are the one for me and even if we never saw anybody else again this relationship is solid enough so that we you know that we've trusted that we we know that we're meant to be together and that we want to be together and if that's the case we'll start to look at what rules matters are we going to set going forward together as a couple to be non-monogamous correct it ended up being a little bit more than 30 days because it was over the holidays and you know right life family um but we did eventually kind of work our way back into it setting better boundaries and making we also made some lifestyle changes so that way we could see each other more so that way like obviously your needs could be filled my needs could be filled um and i really think that at that moment is when kind of everything clicked for you and i and it kind of turned everything around do we still have hiccups yes yeah i mean we still dealt with insecurities jealousy we still do all that stuff sometimes today yeah i mean we still had to deal with like playing with couples and like you weren't used to having someone you love in the room while you're fucking someone else's wife it took me a while at that point in time i had never used um any ed medication yeah the first like three times me and lacy tried to swing together i couldn't even get hard i was like what the fuck is going on here yeah so i mean it took us it really took us a while but i think ultimately we just like loved each other and we knew that non-monogamy would work for us we just kind of had to find our way and i think if you're committed to that then you can find your way yeah so what would your advice then be to danielle so we she seems like she's in a similar situation to us how does she how does she navigate this um create clear boundaries yeah i wonder do you think they need a reset like do you think they should maybe consider a reset at least yeah consider a reset and i think that you know if you are in a community with a staff so if people hopefully they'll respect that like if they genuinely cared about you i think that's my concern so my concern for danielle is she's in this intermingled group of ongoing relationships because she's not monogamous even though she you know might you know she's telling us i'm dating this guy now and i assume that's the only person she's dating but i assume because she's part of this community there are other relationships there yeah i'm hoping though that those people are respectful of those relationships and i will say it may be hard for her for them to go back to those dan and i have actually swung with one couple that i was a unicorn for prior to meeting him. But outside of that, we really, those prior relationships or prior, I hate to call them relationships, but situationships. I don't know what you want to call them. But those, they've all kind of, they ended up sizzling out just because, well, one, it for good for us because we were separate like it was two different cities um but it's kind of hard once you've been it's a different dynamic so i will say is being you know being a bull before and being a coupled partner swinger now couples that are looking for a bull are looking for a very different dynamic than couples that are looking for a couple so if you are a coupled person now it's going to be hard for you to play and engage the way that you did as a bull and therefore a lot of your previous situationships aren't aren't going to work yeah i mean and so i do think you know danielle you and your partner probably need to reset and just maybe focus on your relationship because ultimately if you're going to be successful as a swimmer going forward your relationship has to be first yeah and it has to have a good foundation right so you have to basically be willing to let go maybe some of these other connections that you have to focus on this relationship. And then once you are 100% sure you and this partner are in a solid relationship and can go forward together, you then need to readdress your rules and your boundaries and how and who you're going to play with going forward. Yeah. And then make that very, very clear to the people within your circles. Yeah, because we really really don't know they may not even be same room since they you know they may be you know they okay with separate play and so those relate those situations may still be able to continue i don't know but i do think obviously there is some sort of adjustment period here so i do think taking a step back really evaluating what you both want your boundaries um all of those things are really important but it is very very hard to swing while you're falling in love with someone right i i do i'll give her that yeah i think reset focus on your relationship set rules and boundaries with your partner and then make those rules and boundaries clear to the people around you yeah and ultimately they have to make a choice whether they want to you know i mean like they have to accept that if they don't then they need to go find new people to play with right yeah and honestly and that's very hard like that saying that sounds very easy but if they if you know they've been in this community for years and they've had the relationships with you know these kind of situationships with other people for years there's a lot of emotions and things that are intermingled there and i can understand why maybe she's struggling right now no i totally agree and i think this advice is obviously for danielle but i think this can be applied to a lot of different situations as well like if you have been you and your husband have been or wife have been swinging for a while and maybe something's changed maybe you need to reset and you know readdress I think a lot of this can be applied to several different types of scenarios so yeah no that's that's a good point I think if we've learned anything it's like in life you kind of go through like these ebbs and flows and what you're comfortable with changes you know even i can't even think what you know what we were comfortable with when we first started dating with other couples is way different than what we were comfortable with now you know we used to even if you go back and listen to some of our first podcast episodes right like keep emotions 100 out of it like don't get attached to anybody like it's just all casual sex and fun
Speaker1:
and now we're like we have best friends we swing with them we kind of like care about them you know i mean and that's okay you know i mean no we're not paul we don't want to move in together but it's okay that i have friends that i care about um and to be in a relationship with you but also
Speaker2:
have these other like sort of relationships with other couples and stuff and it's a weird it's a weird thing to navigate but uh yeah i think that's a great question danielle it is interesting that we've kind of been through something something similar to that so i hope um just a little bit of advice i think you really need to focus on your partner and and uh get on the same page with him and then make sure everybody within your community that you've kind of engaged with before understands that you guys are in a relationship and you're setting kind of new boundaries and rules going forward and it's respectful of that. I agree. So if you would like to submit a question, again, you can email us, theswingnation at gmail. Drop a message to us on any of our social media platforms you can dm us or you know write it in a message however you can get it to us just get it to us and we'll do this every tuesday let us know what you think if this is something that you like we'll definitely continue it i'm interested to see how this goes yeah what did you think of our first tuesday talk i think what's going to happen is i'm always already feeling like i need more information from danielle you know i mean i think that's going to be the problem is that like we're going to get these questions and not the full context we just have to do our best that's all right so we're kind of like speculating about what's going on in her life and trying to answer questions for her yeah um but no it's really it's really interesting and yeah i'm also interested to see how people how people take this yeah all right anything else for the swing nation listeners for our very our uh our pilot episode of tuesday talks don't forget to listen to our podcast this thursday it will be the second and a half of ourover last week i'll be honest a little boring what no you're right it's all the logistics yeah um this week is the good stuff um so it's the tea it is the tea there's some tea to be spilt yeah so make sure that um you listen to it a little vanilla swirl in there, maybe. You sprinkle in hints? In little hints. Okay. Some oranges, maybe. Maybe, yeah. Maybe someone not following consent. Ooh, drama. Ooh, drama. So, yeah. So can't wait for everyone to listen to that again. Thank you for listening to this one. I guess that's it.
Speaker3:
All right.
Speaker1:
I think with that in a world full of apples, be the pineapple, be the pineapple guys. Bye. Bye. What do you think? if you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us leave a five-star review wherever you're listening if you want to see more of our content you can find links to snapchat twitter instagram only fans and more in the show notes come join the conversation with us and other swinger content creators on our swinger society discord server if you questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.
