Send us Fan MailTuesday Talks: Meaningful Connections vs. Spontaneous Fun | Episode 11Join Dan and Lacy on The Swing Nation Podcast, the top-rated lifestyle podcast about non-monogamy and swinging, for another insightful Tuesday Talks segment. In this episode, Dan and Lacy answer a question from a Florida Hot Wife about how important it is to get to know people before playing. They delve into the nuances of building connections, establishing trust, and ensuring comfort in lifestyle interactions. They also discuss the excitement of random hookups and how to enjoy them safely. Tune in to hear their tips, personal experiences, and advice on balancing meaningful connections with spontaneous fun in the lifestyle.- The Swing Nation - Main Website Quick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links more!) Follow us on Facebook! The Podcast Website- Swinger Society - Our Website to meet, connect events Swinger Society Discord Our Facebook Group- Swinger Websites -Kasadie 90 day free trialUsername: TheSwingNation SDC 14 day free trial Username: TheSwingNation** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! ** SLSUsername: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl- Merch More -Order Your Merch Here!- Lacy’s Fun Links - VIP OnlyFans PREMIUM OnlyFans-- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS --Wisp : Making sexual healthcare inclusive, cost-effective, and accessible—for everyoneUse Code SWING at checkout for 15% off your oder! Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testingUse Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order!Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great SexUse Code SwingNation for 5% off!Pinaq Liqueur; The Official Drink of The Swing NationUse Code TSN at checkout for 15% off!Support the show- Thank you for the support! -
Transcript
This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle.
Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe, interview the experts, learn and grow together join the nation so lacy people are asking how do they get to go to a party or an event with us they check out swingersociety.net you create a profile you sign up for an event and you, and you come hang out with us. Super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net. Can't wait to see you there. Sexual health care can be so much more than STI testing.
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Probably not. Yet that's the only way to check for oral gonorrhea or chlamydia which are often asymptomatic you need a better doctor you need shamelesscare.com use coupon code tsn at checkout hey there pineapple people and welcome to the swing nation podcast we are your hosts northern guy and southern girl today's episode we have another another rendition another episode another tuesday talks segment we do and today's a really good one i think um so this is from florida hot wife and she says, Hey guys, new to the podcast, et cetera. So sorry if it has been asked before.
My question is how important is it for you to get to know people before playing with them?
Do you guys meet before or do you get to know each other before making plans or is it strictly a physical attraction current vibe decision yeah so that's actually that's actually a good question it is a good question i guess what she's asking is in our the way we swing yeah do we like to get to know people first and like get comfortable with them or is it more of like hey you're hot let's fuck yeah is that yeah that's kind of yeah that's kind of what i got from hers and the answer is it's really some of both to be honest with you like we don't depends on the day and the situation how we're feeling like some people do have like boundaries around that like they meet them first and then you know they play if everything goes right then they make a second time to meet to actually play we don't have that boundary nor have we ever really had that we've always just kind of been like whatever feels right in the moment i would say right yeah we don't have set rules like i think what lacy's saying is some couples will be like we won't fuck till the third date or whatever you know i mean it's kind of the same like yeah we got to go to coffee we got to meet each other we got to go have dinner we're going to hang out and then you know maybe not the third day but yeah we want to go on a date with no sex on the table first make sure we're vibing so nobody feels pressure because i do get that like if you've been chatting with a couple online and you go and meet them and there's like this option to go like get a hotel room after or go take you back to your house after there is a pressure to make that happen and like let's say you totally like somebody via online via text but when you get there in person it's not the same connection as you felt but then your husband let's say for an example is really vibing for the wife you don't want to be that one that's like oh no thank you you know and then that makes that awkward like we're just gonna go situation so a lot of couples will do that where they say we don't play on the first date um so that way you remove yourself from the situation you can talk it out stuff like that there is something to be said for going into any situation especially when you're meeting somebody for the first time planning in an exit strategy for that meet yeah so whether it's for like you're saying some couples just say we are not going to have sex the first time we meet you so their exit strategy is essentially so if we don't like you we don't plan a second date yeah and but they communicate that like and to be honest with you i respect that because i've we've been in situations it's been a long time because we don't typically meet people online and go and have dates with them now but i can think back to like the beginning of our relationship where i fucked a guy that i mean i was attracted to him and he was okay but he wasn wasn't like I wasn't super excited about it.
You know, just because I wanted the experience and wanted to have fun. You know, we were all having a good time. Yeah. Especially if you drive a couple hours or something like that to meet somebody. I can see where now it's like, well, we're here. Yeah. And they're OK. So I'm going to do that. You know, I mean, yeah. Like that happens.
You could even put the pressure on yourself like you can't even you know might not even be your spouse am i sorry i took this off on a tangent here but that is some people do that and then another method is engaging our primarily way you know kind of answer our question is how do we engage the way we engage now primarily is with our friends with people most of the people we have sex with we've known for probably years yeah and that's that's primarily the way we play most of the time if we're swapping swinging it's with a couple and it's probably with a couple we've known for months if not years yeah correct i would say that's probably 75 80 percent how we swing um for several reasons one because our events and stuff that we go to typically are very crazy we don't have a lot of time to like we socialize but we don't have time to like find a couple that we're equally attracted to sit down talk with them dance with them do all the things to get to the point where we want to swing that night we just we're tapped out at our capacity it's hard for us to do that um that's mainly the reason our friends they kind of know that and so they don't they don't get offended if at the end of the night we are we come stumbling into the room you know you, like tired because we've been busy all night.
So it just kind of works for us. Yeah, it is a double-edged sword. So, like, it's very beneficial hosting these parties with 500 couples there. But the hard thing about trying to host 500 people is you can't just run away and talk with one or two of them. You can't get alone time and just hang out with one or two couples to kind of build that rapport that usually we would need to engage sexually with somebody.
So because we can't break off and kind of spend quality time with new couples or couples we don't know, what we tend to do is just kind of have a lot of surface level conversations with a lot of people.
And then at the end of the night, we go find friends that we already have connections with yeah and know and trust and we engage with them correct now we also don't use a lot of like sdc cassidy stuff like that just because we're really busy and when we're home that would be probably the best place to use that you know when we're home we don't swing typically at home because we're exhausted from what we just did on the weekend or whatever so a lot of people do message us on those sites and because sometimes i'll get comments like i've messaged you three times and you we just don't typically use those anymore because the platform has gotten so big it is a great resource for people that maybe are not going to events twice a month once a month um it's a great resource and we we highly recommend them but for the stage in life that we are at currently that just doesn't yeah so when people message us on on the swinger websites as stc sls cassidy and like i usually tell them hey come to an event like you want to me just come to an event and here's the thing is we have met people at events we have that we didn't know at one of our events and we've ended up swinging and swapping with them but that's doesn't happen a lot it doesn't happen very often but you know i couldn't even tell you like what is the why you know why that couple we you know i don't even know couldn't even tell you it just kind of happens sometimes but i looking back in like history in like history of that it's always seems like a couple that just they're not shy they kind of like put themselves out there they put themselves out there like it's almost like the stars align and it just works out they just have a magnetic personality that we're drawn to but it's hard to explain or recreate that Mm-hmm.
bars align and it just works out they just have a magnetic personality that we're drawn to but it's hard to explain or recreate that um it just sometimes it happens and then they get brought into our friend group and it's just like they were there the whole time or maybe they're a friend of somebody that we already know and so they have a relationship so it makes us feel more comfortable because we know that that person trusts them yeah that happens a lot so like our friends because they're not hosting the party they have more time to kind of meet people and mingle and then kind of almost like vet couples for us and right and then they kind of introduce them to the friend group and so we kind of make connections sometimes through like friends of friends yeah that somebody will bring somebody now um on the flip side of that for instance uh you know if you've listened back this this year this podcast is we went to bliss we went to hito we went to secrets one time without our lover friends um a few things to know we struggled making connections when we had the time when we weren't hosting because we were rusty we didn didn't, you know, it was, we didn't put ourselves out there because we were like, uh, what are we doing?
We haven't done this in years. We're not good at this. It's, you know, it's kind of like pushing ourself outside of our comfort zone because we've now gotten used to this new way of swinging. Um, but then on, on flip side, we like like at hito we swung with a lot of new people um because it just it again the stars align magic happened and it just were in the vibe like she mentioned is it a current vibe decision and the the vibe was there or like with the party marks up it had been an ongoing thing that we had been flirting and working kind of got, yeah, working towards it for years.
So I know that answer is like not super clear, but that's kind of the gist of it. So I think there's two. So, OK, one of the ways to engage with swinging is to kind of date somebody. Right. Yeah. And make that connection and work your way up to intercourse. Right. To swapping and stuff like that. The benefits of that is you really get to know people. Yeah. You can build that trust and rapport. Right. What you can have all the discussions you're supposed to have about like STDs and people's rules and boundaries.
I think the going on dates, getting to know people and kind of working your way up to swapping is like the textbook way of doing it. It's honestly ideal. Like I feel like you have a better experience because you've covered all your bases. You've talked about all the things.
Somebody is probably not going to step over a boundary because you've communicated as well you know about scds you're using the protection if that's what you've communicated about i just feel like it's like the safer like easier way to do it if you were going to recommend a way to people that would probably be the way you'd recommend right yeah especially if you're new and you're just kind of figuring this out that is but i think you're gonna have less connect with them online let's start a little uh texting chat group whether it's on snapchat or kick or discord or whatever the kids are using these days talk through you know what are you guys into what are your rules what are your boundaries and even that flirting talk about stds talk about condoms flirt back and forth send some nudes like that build-up is super hot you know so i think if you had like if you had to do it i think that's ideally the best way the safest way everybody's being respectful it just works the best if you do it that way right but on the flip side there's something to be said about a hot hookup that you didn't plan that is you know is was not on your radar for that night you just meet and you you hit it off next thing you know you're fucking sometimes you're fucking mafia guy's wife in the orgy bed and you haven't even you don't even know her name and haven't had a conversation whether other than is it okay if i suck your dick or is it okay if i fuck you and it can be super hot super enjoyable and like something you talk about for a long time but on the flip side of that what if you cross the boundary that you didn't even know is a boundary because there was no conversation?
So, I mean, if it goes well and it's hot. And we've had a few times where it's like we start talking to somebody in the pool and the next thing we know we're getting blowjobs on the side of the pool or fucking taking them to a cabana to fuck or, you know, like we've done that before. Yeah. Right.
And I think what's important here is, you know is you know we're saying oh the right way to do it is to go through steps abc and i think that is true but i also think if you're don't close the door to the other way correct yeah now you do have to be careful like you said you are opening yourself up to here comes a pissed off husband or spouse because this girl's sucking your dick and she has permission and you gave her permission but obviously her husband didn't give for me you know i mean like there's possibilities for conflict when you go that route because your your base is you're not as safe like you just haven't you know gone through all the steps to protect yourself yeah um like you do the other way yeah but it can be hot fucking hot yeah it can be some of the sometimes it's some of the best experiences that we've had or yeah just to kind of random things like that that have happened over the years well i tend to like overthink a lot of things like and want to plan it out so for me there's something so fun when it just happens like i didn't plan it i didn't think it out it just kind of fell into our lap or fell into a situation so like to me that level of like not overthinking is hot in itself well and i will say when those situations have happened so say it's like you're in a pool and then you meet this hot couple and there's there's chemistry and it's like you're you're dancing on each other and then you're making out.
And there's just that like I want to fuck you energy. Sometimes you just take that energy and transition it straight into a bedroom and fuck is nice without killing the vibe and having to be like, okay, so what? Where's your STD test? What's your rules and boundaries? And how long have you been dating?
Even though you though you should do that you should do all of those things and but if you're using condoms and protecting your you know i mean like protect yourself be safe but i guess what i'm saying is sometimes just going straight from high energy into the fucking is nice yeah it doesn't happen for us very often it's like a a once every so often situation but when it happens it's usually we like walk out of the room and like look each other like what the hell did we just do that yeah that just happened um it's kind of like one of those experiences you tell your friends about like oh my gosh we met this couple and everything worked out and it was hot and i don't and just next thing you know we're fucking so yeah yeah but i will say you can also when you build a reputation and trust with somebody then you can then sometimes you can do all the weird freaky shit yeah and that can be so there's there's benefits to both definitely yeah and really just do whatever you feel comfortable with or maybe even whatever you feel um is right in that moment as long as you and your partner are on the same page right that's the most important thing as long as you and your partner are on the same page and um you're doing everything you can to protect yourself you know condoms and all that kind of stuff um you can have fun either way yeah because you don't want to wake up the next day and you've like met this hot couple you fucked them without a condom and then now you're you know like yeah yeah i mean like that can turn south really quick so but yeah i mean we uh i guess the answer is both both yeah so i hope that um florida hot wife i hope that helped answer your question i i do think you know people come to us all the time they're like how do you do this and what's this and you know there's a lot of these things there is no right answer right there's no like one one shoe fits all kind of answer it's well what's right for us may not be right for you it's really depends on you and your partner and what you guys are comfortable with what you know what fantasies you have and um you know as long as you can kind of follow the the basic guidelines and keep yourself safe i think you know engage in however you see fit okay well i think that wraps up today's tuesday talk question um we definitely could use some some more questions.
So if you have a burning question you'd like me and Lacey to discuss and answer, we'd be happy to do that. You can email your questions to theswingnation at gmail.com, theswingnation at gmail.com. You can also DM us on any social media, but sometimes those DMs go to spam folders. So definitely, if you want to make sure we see it, theswingnation at gmail.com is the best way to do that. Correct. All right. Well, I think that wraps up this episode in a world full of apples. Be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye.
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