Send us Fan MailTuesday Talks: Advice for the Single Straight Unicorn | Episode 12Join The Swing Nation Podcast, the top-rated lifestyle podcast about non-monogamy and swinging, for another Tuesday Talks segment where hosts Dan and Lacy answer listener questions. In this episode, Dan and Lacy address a question from an anonymous listener on social media. The listener, who was a Hot Wife in a previous relationship, wants to know if she can still participate in the Swingers Lifestyle now that she s single. She also has concerns about not being bisexual and whether couples will still want to engage with her. Tune in as Dan and Lacy provide insightful advice on navigating the lifestyle as a single woman and discuss the importance of finding compatible partners regardless of sexual orientation.Don t miss out—hit play now and join the conversation!- The Swing Nation - Main Website Quick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links more!) Follow us on Facebook! The Podcast Website- Swinger Society - Our Website to meet, connect events Swinger Society Discord Our Facebook Group- Swinger Websites -Kasadie 90 day free trialUsername: TheSwingNation SDC 14 day free trial Username: TheSwingNation** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! ** SLSUsername: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl- Merch More -Order Your Merch Here!- Lacy’s Fun Links - VIP OnlyFans PREMIUM OnlyFans-- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS --Wisp : Making sexual healthcare inclusive, cost-effective, and accessible—for everyoneUse Code SWING at checkout for 15% off your oder! Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testingUse Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order!Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great SexUse Code SwingNation for 5% off!Pinaq Liqueur; The Official Drink of The Swing NationUse Code TSN at checkout for 15% off!Support the show- Thank you for the support! -
Transcript
Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe, interview the experts, learn and grow together join the nation so lacy people are asking how do they get to go to a party or an event with us they check out swingers society.net you create a, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us. Super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net. Can't wait to see you there. Sexual health care can be so much more than STI testing. WISP offers services like emergency contraception, help in delaying your period, UTI treatments, and so much more. They You know what I mean? care can be so much more than STI testing. WISP offers services like emergency contraception, help in delaying your period, UTI treatments, and so much more. They even have a product called the OMG Cream that helps provide more fulfilling orgasms for women. WISP provides same-day prescriptions and can give you discreet treatment in the comfort and privacy of your own home. Check out the link in our show notes or go to HelloWISiz.com and use code SWING for 15% off. Most people have unprotected oral sex, right? Be honest. Now think about your last STD test. 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We we are your hosts northern guy and southern girl in today's episode we have another another listener question another tuesday talk we do and this one's kind of long but it's a good one we also don't know exactly who it's from because when dan finds good ones he usually just sends them over to me copied and pasted and um he's just we can't we couldn't figure out where this one came from yeah yeah so the the backstory of tuesday talks is if i see a good question it doesn't matter if it's on you know a random dm on social media or sometimes it's actual emails people send us i just copy and paste it and send it over to lacy so that we can find it easily but sometimes they don't put their like this time the name wasn't in the copy and paste yeah I can't I went back to try to find it and I don't know where it came from yeah okay so I'm gonna try to read this um y'all just bear with me it's kind of long so long-winded it's long-winded but it's a good one and I want to make sure I get everything that she says there's a lot of questions in one okay okay so she has a couple of questions that uh that i hope you can help me with have an unusual situation will probably not that unusual for some people i'm sure it happens a lot but you never really hear about it because a lot of people in the lifestyle are not very vocal i've been separated going through a divorce divorce with my husband. The last couple years of our marriage, we started exploring the lifestyle. We were dipping our toes in a bit, having people come to our house to play. We never went anywhere else or any kind of events. It was just men that would come over to our house. I knew myself was too jealous to allow him to be with another woman. He also said he didn't have the desire to be with another woman, but he did like to watch me with other men. I enjoyed being with other men and even multiple men at one time, so it was a great situation. So that leads me to my current situation. I have a huge problem. I have now learned to enjoy and appreciate the lifestyle, and I think I would be called a hot wife she said maybe I don't know like I said we were just starting to dip our toes in so I think that might be right where do I fit in now am I just stuck wishing I could have that I could get back into the lifestyle until I find a husband that wants to have a hot wife I've never been bicurious. I find women attractive, but never been sexually attracted to them. I'm becoming more open and would be willing to experiment with a woman. It's got me thinking that I maybe would probably enjoy that. I would probably want to return the favor to the other woman, but I'm not prepared for that. So it's not like I can be a unicorn either. Like I am legit screwed out of the lifestyle now? If I don't even want to date or have a boyfriend, are there unicorns that are just for men and for women to pleasure? How does this work for me now? I'm just so new to this that I don't know where to fit in, where I fit in, or even if I fit in anymore at all. I have been separated from my husband for two years and I'm going crazy because I'm bored shitless. There's a lot of questions in there. That is a lot to unpack. All right. So let's, let me just kind of hit some highlights that I heard while you read read that right so so the first thing that stuck out to me is the last two years of her marriage yeah they dipped their toes into swinging yeah which i'm making some assumptions here but i'm assuming they were struggling in their marriage probably and then that's why they they it led to this experimenting with single male thing that would be my guess yeah which that is never a good idea that's a red flag yeah uh if you were having issues or struggling in your marriage fix your marriage and then go and experiment in the lifestyle the second thing that stood out to me is it was it was very evident that this experimenting in the lifestyle was guys coming over to fuck her and she was kind of the center of attention and then she said something like her husband isn't interested in other women and stuff like that she also said that she was too jealous right what yeah she said she wouldn't let it happen but it's okay that she wouldn't let it happen because her husband wouldn't wouldn't be interested in any way i doubt her husband would be interested yeah i do i think that these issues probably need to be fixed like within herself before you can move forward in the unicorn stuff because um i'm assuming she'd been with her husband for a while if you are find yourself being a jealous person and you wouldn't have allowed your husband to do that um you're probably not going to make it very far in the lifestyle so there's some insecurity issues there there's some some jealousy issues there um that that she probably needs to to work on and look we're not like trying to be ugly i've i've struggled with jealousy i've struggled with insecurity so this is not something it's a daily struggle i mean it's still it's an ongoing yeah it's not something that you know it happens in the last time you actually hear this quite often and maybe some of the reasons why why the lifestyle or their marriage didn't work if she wouldn't allow him to do this but then yeah that's going to create animosity that's going to make all kinds of issues if it now don't get wrong there are men out there that genuinely love hot wifing and have no interest in engaging themselves right just they are a hot wife husband and they they thoroughly enjoy seeing their wife get pleasured or just knowing that she's going out and doing things and then coming back to him those couples a hundred percent do exist yeah i just when you heard this and she kind of said i wouldn't let it happen and then but that's okay because he wouldn't want to do it anyway like it just and there's some red flags in there that seem like yeah and knowing it ended in divorce right not sure i'm buying all that yeah yeah correct um but i do feel like there is a place for her in the lifestyle if she can kind of work through that because you know it sounds like she wants to find a husband or boyfriend or somebody else in the lifestyle.
Speaker2:
Those issues will still happen if she doesn't address those.
Speaker1:
That's kind of my point bringing it up is if she wants to move forward, especially now as a single woman, if she wants to move forward and she's going to start engaging with couples. Well, she has insecurities and jealousy issues.
Speaker2:
To me, that's not a single person I would want to bring into my relationship because that could cause issues with me and you. Right. Yeah. If she has insecurity issues, she's going to want attention from me.
Speaker1:
I don't know. To me, that's not a single person I would want to bring into my relationship because that could cause issues with me and you, right? Yeah. If she has insecurity issues, she's going to want attention from me, especially if she's not even – it sounds like she's not bisexual. So the majority of the interaction would be between me and her. And so maybe now she's getting jealous of you and, like, then that just creates a whole – And then I'm jealous of her because me and her are not playing. Those are red flags nobody wants to deal with, right you really have to this is for everybody this is not just for her but if you were entering the lifestyle space fix your shit like yeah get get in the right mindset and you're never going to be perfect right uh you mean lacy still deal with jealousy we still deal with insecurities or it's problems that arise it's an ongoing thing but you definitely need to make sure you're at least have a solid foundation to work from before you engage in this lifestyle yeah okay so all that aside then the third thing she says now is she's now single yeah she wants to be in the lifestyle but she doesn't have a husband so she can't be a hot wife she doesn't think well no she's not bisexual that's not true she wants to know if she would still be considered a hot wife because in her mind a unicorn is a bisexual woman who plays with both so let me just let's just talk about those terms first i don't think she's a hot wife because she's not married so now that she's single she she's not a hot wife so part of the hot wifing thing is it's hot wifing you have a husband who gets pleasure from seeing you or hearing about or some kind of pleasure from you engaging with other people and then you reconnecting yeah i personally think she could be a unicorn you know i don't know who made up the definitions about lifestyle people um i've heard both that you have to be bisexual i've heard that it doesn't matter to me in my eyes i think it's fine either way i think she's a single person in the life single female in the lifestyle and to me that's a unicorn what do you think no i 100 agree i think there is this assumption that unicorns are bisexual but there's almost this assumption that every female in the lifestyle is bisexual yeah so i don't i don't think that's a fair assumption and i definitely think if you are a single female willing to engage with couples whatever that looks like for you whatever your rules and boundaries are but if you're a single female looking to engage with couples to me that's a unicorn regardless of exactly how you're engaging correct so i guess let's piggyback off that all there are plenty of women in the lifestyle that are not bisexual there are more than than not most people are let's just be honest but it's okay that you're not to be honest with you sometimes let's just let me just break down myself i'm not super bisexual no sometimes i'll be super into a girl and want nothing to do with the guys and be you know dead focused on a girl there are other times where i have no interest in the girl and it's really hard for me to pinpoint it's more than like the way they look it's if i trust it's so much more chemistry yeah yeah it's so much more um so i've been in situations where i've had no contact with the females i've been in situations where i've had a ton of contact but it's up to each individual woman to or person in that matter to communicate how you're feeling and what you want so for instance if you make an online profile you need to be honest and say i'm straight straight. You know, I wouldn't put by curious, even though based on talking to you, you kind of are by curious. But since you've never tried anything, you don't know. I would lead in with I'm straight. And if you find a girl. I'm a straight female. I may be interested in, you know, exploring some some bisexual play. But yeah, I'm very new to it like yeah and i think that's like or so we talked about online if you go if you're out at a club or a bar or wherever i think when you meet a coval you need to be honest about that you don't want to let it be assumed that you are bisexual and then you get into a situation where like the wife feels misled or something like that So I would just always kind of lead a little bit with that.
Speaker2:
Yeah.
Speaker1:
And like you said it sounds like she's bi-curious or has some level of bi-curious and then she she goes on to say well i think i would be okay with receiving but not with giving you know and that's okay that's fine you just need to find a couple that you mesh well with that you're attracted to the female and this is something that you're willing to try with them and just communicate that say right i've never been with a girl i'm a little nervous i don't know what to do i'm open to receiving and seeing how i feel about it after that you know i i would suggest doing it that way then landing in like a playroom at a club right yeah that would be my right advice yeah that's 100 communication with communication community it's funny the answer to all these questions are always communication right yeah uh i think i would identify from what you've told us i would say you're a unicorn i would say you were primarily straight but maybe somewhat bi-curious uh you're much more bi-curious about receiving than giving but with the right couple it sounds like anything could be possible yeah and so basically you know if you go on sls or sdc or cassidy or come join us on swinger society make a profile make some nice pictures write a description in your profile in that description say i've been divorced for two years i was in the lifestyle i played primarily with men and was a hot wife you know i'm now interested in engaging with couples i'm mostly straight but am a little bit bicarious would be mostly interested in receiving but you know with the right couple anything could be possible and period post and you're going to have people blowing down your yeah and you were honest and they know up front where you're at and what your situation is so i think i think you're in a good direction now as far as finding a boyfriend or a husband in the lifestyle i think that's super hard it's hard to be in a relationship here that like to meet somebody and date them and it hit it off in like a vanilla setting trying to do it in a lifestyle setting is also super hard so i think that's kind of one of those things if it falls in your lap great if it's not and then you know you're it's going to be hard i mean to be fair there's a lot of single men on these websites most of them are probably not what you're looking for to be honest but there are a few that are genuine and good i mean we have just on the swinger side of discord we've had several uh relationships bloom over the years and we've even had a marriage uh come out of people that met on discord so it is completely possible um i do think being open-minded and looking for a partner that is open-minded if you engage in this community and in the in the spaces that are lifestyle friendly you're probably much more likely to meet a lifestyle friendly person than maybe you are yeah other places and again working on ourselves and getting to like a good place if you meet someone in the lifestyle and want to pursue a relationship with them they're probably going to want to fuck other people they're not going to want to just hot wife um i mean i guess stranger things have happened but so again back to the first part of it's true if you meet a single male probably in this space they're probably not likely a hot wife husband yeah because they're already in this space yeah i mean they might be into that and they might could add that to what they're into we have a lot of friends that do a lot of hot wifing but also will full swap if if it's the right situation right situation so um it definitely can happen it just again it's your options are probably more limited there yes so our suggestion to this listener would one yourself. Yeah. Right. Address some of those insecurities and things that you face in the life. And maybe they already have. They've been divorced for two years. So so maybe they're at a place now where they've addressed some of those things. But definitely work on your insecurities and jealousy issues. Then to get on one of these lifestyle websites, STC, SLS, Cassidy. You can go to theswingnation.info and find free trial links for most of those. Make yourself a profile and then spell out in that profile the things we said. And I think if you do that, you're going to be a very successful unicorn in the lifestyle. And in a very short time, you'll probably have couples messaging you and wanting to engage with you yep uh so i hope that answers your question that was pretty easy actually there was there was a lot in there there was a lot in there but yeah it was it was pretty easy all right all right so if you have a question for us if you're in a situation if it's uh you have some kind of lifestyle question if you want to know lacey's makeup routine, send us an email at theswingnation at gmail.com. You can also DM us on any of our social media platforms. Those sometimes get lost in the weeds, though. So the emails are the best, but you can send it to us anywhere. And so if you want to follow us on social media go to the swing nation dot info you can find links to our twitter and instagram and facebook and tiktok and all the things so definitely go follow us everywhere we appreciate your support and we look forward to hearing your questions yep all right i think with that in a world full of apples be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us, and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.
