Send us Fan MailLifestyle Education | Bi Males in the Lifestyle: Insights from the Naughty Gym | Episode 172In this must-listen episode of The Swing Nation Podcast, Dan and Lacy sit down with April and Steve (formerly Scott) from The Naughty Gym Show to tackle one of the lifestyle’s most taboo topics—being a bi male in the swinging world. They dive into the unique challenges, stigmas, and misconceptions Steve faces as a bi male, offering valuable insights for anyone curious about breaking down stereotypes in the lifestyle.But that’s not all—Dan stuns listeners with a jaw-dropping confession about his own experiences exploring his sexuality!This raw, real, and unfiltered conversation will challenge stereotypes and inspire you to rethink what’s possible in the lifestyle. Don’t miss this powerful episode that’s sure to spark curiosity and ignite conversations!- The Swing Nation -Main Website Quick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links more!)- Swinger Society - Our Website to meet, connect events Swinger Society Discord Our Facebook Group- Swinger Websites -Kasadie 90 day free trialUsername: TheSwingNation SDC 14 day free trial Username: TheSwingNation** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! ** SLSUsername: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl- Merch More -Order Your Merch Here!- Lacy’s Fun Links -VIP OnlyFansPREMIUM OnlyFans-- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS --Wisp : Making sexual healthcare inclusive, cost-effective, and accessible—for everyoneUse Code SWING at checkout for 15% off your oder!Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testingUse Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order!Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great SexUse Code SwingNation for 5% off!Sing it Bikinis: adjustable one-size styles, thoughtfully crafted to flatter every body type.- Thank you for the support! -
Transcript
This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice.
Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers, for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe, interview the experts, learn and grow together. Join the nation. So Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net.
You create a profile, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us. Super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net. Can't wait to see you there. Sexual health care can be so much more than STI testing. WISP offers services like emergency contraception, help in delaying your period, UTI treatments, and so much more.
They even have a product called the OMG Cream that helps provide more fulfilling orgasms for women. WISP provides same-day prescriptions and can give you discreet treatment in the comfort and privacy of your own home. Check out the link in our show notes or go to HelloWiz.com and use code SWING for 15% off. Most people have unprotected oral sex, right? Be honest. Now think about your last STD test. Did your doctor tickle your throat with something that looked like a giant Q-tip? Probably not.
Yet that's the only way to check for oral gonorrhea or chlamydia, which are often asymptomatic. You need a better doctor. You need shamelesscare.com. Use coupon code TSN at checkout. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast.
We're're your hosts northern guy and southern girl and today we have a very special episode for you we have some some guests in our studio we do guests they've they've talked they've heard of before yeah they've maybe even interacted with we had a few naughty gym um courses and stuff that we did for our community yeah but we have april and from... Steve? What the fuck? I'm leaving. Who the fuck is Steve? Is she dating somebody that I don't know about? Who the fuck is Steve?
I'm going to do that again. We have... We're going to start. Your new name is Steve. Scott and Angela. When you're thinking about what you're going to say, and then you don't really think. Okay, but Steve pops out. I like it. We have April and Scott of Naughty Gym here in the studio. And we're going to do this a little different.
So the last time we guys had you on, we talked about Naughty Gym and what that was and kind of went over your origin story and how Naughty Gym came to be and you guys getting outed in the community and all that stuff. So if people are curious about that and they want kind of some of that backstory, I encourage them to go back. When did we do that? That was like a year or so. That was in 87, I think. It was a while back. I was three. Oh, my God.
No, that was in our old house, so it's been at least probably two years. Yeah, close to two years ago. Yeah, so go back, find the Naughty Jim episode and listen to their story Yeah to two years ago. Yeah, so go back, find the Naughty Jim episode, and listen to their story, because it is a good origin story, and it actually reflects our story in a lot of ways. Same but different.
But what we wanted you in the studio today to talk about is, I think, really something that's been a hot topic in the community somewhat. I think so. I think really in the last year, we've heard more and more people talking about it. We've seen more and more people, especially like in the influencer, you know, swingers on social media space, start to go public about it. But we wanted to have a conversation about being a bi male in the lifestyle. Yeah.
And the reason we want to talk to you is because Steve, Scott, Scott just happens. I'm just going to start going by. Yeah, that's your new name forever and always. It's my bisexual name. Steve. He just happens to be a bi male in my lifestyle. So we get asked questions about this a lot. It's actually a subject that comes up a lot in our Discord server. I've seen several people posting in our Swimmer Society Facebook group about it.
I get it a lot on TikTokiktok live yeah and i would say two or three years ago when somebody would post about it they would get the typical i don't say i won't say typical but they would get the response of ew gross like i don't know stay away from me and that and i would say here in the last six months or so when i i see those threads they tend to be a lot more positive of hey whatever you're into you know we don't yuck your yum you know this is what the lifestyle is about is exploring like you know live your truth live your journey uh you know as long as you're respectful and safe like have at it and for me that's been really refreshing to see is i mean for you um i'm gonna screw this up now for you have you seen that is well, we've noticed that when, now some of this is my perception based off when I was not out as a bisexual male for most of, still the majority of the time that we were in the lifestyle.
But since then, things have changed since I opened up. So my perception of things may be a little jaded because I was not open, then I was open. But I would have said years ago that 80 plus percent of the women are bisexual, less than 20 percent of the men. And then when I became public about being bisexual, I still say it's 80 plus percent of the women.
And I've had some disagreements with some people about this but I would say that it's at least in excess of 50 percent of the males now that's not how many say they're bisexual yeah most profiles for the men on all the dating sites still say straight but once you get in the bedroom especially since I'm open and not just open about it but about it publicly and, you know, so most of the people know that are around us at some of our events.
When we get in the bedroom, we start hearing comments like, uh, yeah, you know, so I'm okay with incidental touching or I'm okay if, you know, there's a little this or that and people are still really uncomfortable talking about it sometimes, but they will let you know when you get into a play situation that maybe i'm okay with a little bit of something right and you never you never know what that means exactly but you know it means yeah it means something yeah so that's funny to say that because when dan and i first met when in my opinion being by was not what it is today it's even just in like or five years, I feel like it's changed drastically.
Dan always said that as a single male, that his opinion was way more, there are way more bi males than what we think. Because same situation, you would get into a private situation with a couple and the male or the wife would start mentioning to you that they were open. Yeah, 100 when I was playing as a single male, like you said, 80, 90% of the profiles would say straight male by female, but they would approach me as a single male.
And, you know, usually they'd say, Oh yeah, you know, you want to fuck my wife, blah. And be like, yeah, cool. Awesome.
And then we'd either, once they'd get closer to meeting them or something like that, at some point in time, they would bring up, Oh, by the way, my husband is curious about my husband is curious about a b c and d you know how do you feel about that and and like you said it was probably half of the couples at least half of the couples that once it came time or get close to play time they would start bringing up more things like that so i've always you know you have i've said it since day one that i really feel like there's a lot more by males in the lifestyle they're just not comfortable being open about it and it's it's kind of more closed behind closed doors kind of thing I'll tell you another thing that I think is interesting and this could be controversial but it's just my opinion so if somebody doesn't like what I'm about to say that they you know just understand I could be wrong but I think that a higher percentage of some of the more affluent lifestyle people are willing to be open about their bisexuality than some that are less affluent.
I have no explanation for that. I don't know why that is, but it seems like when we go to events that require a much higher price point. So for instance, maybe it's a $5,000 a week-long trip or something, versus a hotel takeover. That you paid $100 a month. Right, that you paid $100 for. There is a much higher percentage of men at those types, those more expensive events that will come to me and talk to me about some sort of bisexuality thing.
And it almost never happens at the lower priced events. That may just be my experience and it may not be representative of other people's experience, but I do think that for some reason, there's a, a, a more, uh, people are just a little more open men that, that seem to be a little more affluent. And I don't know if I'm right about that, but that's been my experience. That is interesting.
I wonder, you know, like, I think of like blue collar where I don't know more affluent and i don't know if i'm right about that but that's been my experience that is interesting i wonder you know like i think of like blue collar workers that it's not so much acceptable to be if it's like a social thing like you're saying like yeah if you're a tough redneck you know truck driver you're like screw that i'd never even think of that well yeah i was thinking the same thing it could you know think about job.
If you're a little more affluent, you probably maybe own your own business. You don't really answer to anybody. So what you do in your personal life, I mean, it's just like being open in the lifestyle. What you do in your personal life doesn't really matter as much. So you can be more open about it. But when you have coworkers that maybe aren't sex positive and you have to see them every day, or you work for a company that maybe isn't LGBTQ friendly, that can cause some problems maybe. Yeah.
And I want to be clear. I'm not saying that I think more affluent people tend to be more bisexual. I'm just saying that I think they tend to be more open about it. Probably because they can. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So let's talk a little bit about your journey to becoming bisexual or realizing you were bisexual. At what point in your life did you think, Hey, this might be a thing? Well, I have what is, I also feel like is another controversial stance on this, but for me, I will.
So I do believe that sexuality is fluid, so I think it can change. The reason I think that is because I think that's what happened with me. Growing up, I was not – there was never a time – I don't look back now and go, oh, I'm seeing some signs that I missed back then. Right, when I was a teenager and I stared a little bit too long in the locker room, maybe that meant I was into this. That never happened.
And I was completely, now some of this I'm sure was culturally influenced, but I was completely disgusted by the idea of homosexuality in general, myself especially. I was very religious, very conservative, and I'm sure that shaped some of my views on things. But there was never any sort of underlying, yeah, I know I shouldn't like this, but I kind of do. That just wasn't there.
It didn't really start becoming a thing for me until April and I got into a relationship and we started watching porn together and her favorite type of porn to watch was guy on guy porn. And she goes, I know you probably don't want to watch this. So we'll watch something else. I said, no, no, I want to enjoy what you enjoy.
You know, maybe that's not my thing, but maybe if I watch it enough i'll i don't know maybe i'll start liking it and that's exactly what happened so i'm not i don't want to suggest that gay porn turned me bisexual but it does that did sort of open a pathway somehow and we started watching it and it started turning me on and then we started uh you know doing scenarios and would this ever happen would you ever want to do it and eventually yeah just sort of snowballed yeah no i can't remember when you guys started dating were did you start lifestyle or you you were life right from the very beginning you were just like us at least lifestyle adjacent right yeah our very first date was to a lifestyle club in the woods of tennessee yeah and really we, it was because we both had come from previous relationships that were really sexually stifling and we wanted to explore our sexuality, um, and be open to whatever.
We didn't want to cause the other person to feel any shame, you know, for whatever their kinks or their fetishes or, you know, dreams or fantasies were. And so we just started exploring that super openly. And that, like he said, I love watching gay porn. And he was like, okay, if that's what you like, don't turn it off. I want you to enjoy what you enjoy, but let's talk about it. Like what turns you on about it?
And so just having those conversations without any shame and just being open and then allowing him to explore his sexuality freely as well is one of the sexiest things I've ever experienced. Just to see a man come into his full sexuality and what feels good feels good and not feel any shame around that is, for me, the sexiest thing a man can do.
And that doesn't mean he has to be bisexual but just be open-minded yeah the curious question for me is would i have ever realized knowledge and realized i was bisexual if she hadn't have been so into watching two guys go at it because once because she liked that so much it made it easier for me to push past the Southern upbringing I had, where I thought, oh, no, two guys, that's ridiculous. Yeah, two girls are hot, but two guys, that's stupid.
And I started having some of those fantasies because she made it so easy. But I have had conversations with guys whose wives weren't very supportive of it. And they would say things like, I don't really like it, but if he likes it, that's fine. That's different than the way April did with me. She was like, I hope you like it because it's the hottest thing I've ever watched. And so I will fully support it. And so that was a different kind of enthusiasm.
That's an interesting take because I would think think most women how they first start exploring with other women is because guys are so into it right i mean there's i know you know girls were making out with each other in high school and it was mostly because us guys were like you two should kiss you know like you know it'd be hot if you two girls made out and they were like and they'd start doing it and then at some point kind of i think what even what happened with lacy at some point she was like actually i kind of like this like this is kind of fun and this is kind of hot and and then i think in culture in general culture girl girl is much more acceptable so it's okay to kind of even if you're not by to just kind of explore with it it's not really a big deal right yeah right i think just the societal constructs I've met women who say that it's emasculating for them to see their husband in a position where another man is pleasuring them or something like that.
And so I think that just, it does, it comes from the culture where, how we were raised, where like the man is the head of the house and, you know, he should be tough.
And then to see him maybe in a more submissive role with another man um i think that's super hot but some women think that's emasculating to see their husband like that yeah so that is that we've talked about this a little bit before but i wanted to get this on the podcast there are a lot of girls that think guy guy stuff is sexy is hot i mean yeah we want to do a whole podcast on it yeah yeah oh god we've had so i've had i've had tons of women come up to me at different events that know i'm bisexual and they'll they'll say something like oh i've tried to talk my husband into doing something with another guy because i think it's so hot but he just won't do it oh i've tried to talk i'm like are you sure so that you said earlier if she wasn't as supportive would you ever have i've tried to like you know encourage dan you know to do it um and he wants no part of it so i don't think anyone can you know i think that's something you have if you don't want to do it right if you don't want to suck a dick or have your dick suck i don't think anybody can make you i mean at least not not somebody that you're in there somewhere you just have to unlock it he's probably just being stubborn i know i try at only fans i am stubborn yeah but we have had women like can um i watch scott oh for sure so many times i feel like that like my husband won't do it can can i come with you and watch scott which by the way if i was in the room with another guy and women wanted to come in and watch i can't imagine a hotter scenario really that's awesome so at naughty in new orleans they have a bisexual room and i always want to go and dance like what the fuck's wrong with you i'm like i want to go in there and he has no desire to want to go and sit and watch he doesn't want to really sit and watch anyone and this is a good question to be honest for scott though i just don't want to be rude i'm like well if that's a bisexual room and they're in there playing is it rude to just go in there and hang out but i guess but is it rude for people to go in and hang out when we do it and don't bisexual males or whoever but it could be bisexual females in there we don't know but whoever's in there don't we want to treat them as equals and do the same that we do in a normal playroom and i feel if you're in a playroom you're probably have some you know you like people to either see you or watch yeah there's some exhibitionists in there especially in audio new orleans because there's always people in those rooms however i can on the flip side of that i can see if if a guy is maybe for the first time going into this bisexual room with the possibility of exploring something with another guy.
That person may not be as keen on having an audience because he's working through the emotional side. I guess that's what I would worry about is there being 100 people in there and only one couple or something playing.
Again, on the flip side, there could be a playroom with a couple and it's their first swap yeah with another couple both you know let's just say all parties are straight and they could be nervous too it's the same yeah i don't think i feel like if you really wanted the privacy you go to your private room yeah i agree i assume there's curtain rooms in those playrooms as well and stuff like that well and lacy next time i'm with a guy if you want to come yes please yeah just text me i'll just stop by just swing by the house well the funny thing is just life of spice just did that right like what where she was in a bi-male three-way it was a fantasy of hers and we have a couple friends that are they made that happen and they specifically made it happen because her husband her and two other women so i have a question about playrooms how do you feel about there being a bisexual playroom so that's like because i know bliss does it naughty does it because shouldn't all playrooms be bisexual right because what that really means is bisexual male we've struggled with that a little right i mean i enjoy it because i know stuff's going on in there and i'm going to go in there and.
But also, there is a part of me that feels like a little icky. That's segregated. Yeah, it feels a little icky. I would prefer that it just be a playroom, anybody who wants to play. But because there is that stigma, and we've heard people make really kind of nasty comments, mostly women, about men being bisexual in the lifestyle. And I'm like, but you're bisexual, but you are bisexual.
I would hate, I know one person that has said something before, like years ago, and I can still remember what he said to this day, and it really bothers me. Like, I kind of feel guilty I didn't stand up for bi males in general, but I was still kind of learning and exploring. And I didn't quite realize that by males were treated so differently at the time. But now in hindsight, it bothers me all these years later. So that's the, I mean, I don't hear a lot of negativity. Do you?
I know there's, I know it's out there. Just trust me. I know it's out there. I just don't hear people openly in public talking negatively about males. But in the past, we have heard some, and mostly coming from women. I don't get upset about a lot of stuff. I'm pretty easygoing. But if somebody, if a man encourages and loves the fact that his wife is bisexual and then also has the audacity to act like two guys getting together is some sort of problem.
Now it's one thing that he's not, if you're not into it, you're not into it. That's okay. Everybody has their tastes and the things that they like, but you've, we've seen those guys who, you think they're really bisexual? I don't know. I don't know. Are they struggling with their own internal? It's like some kind of internal. Yeah.
Like the machismo comes out and he just yeah it just sounds so open here's where i'm gonna make somebody this is what i was gonna say it just seems so redneck it does it does yeah toxic masculinity yeah yeah that is not the official position of swing nation that is scott from naughty jim's position so but also but hold on for a second because some people don't realize they were like you said you were born and raised in this life that you didn't have this outside world to even like tap into that sexuality so you didn't know you were just taught that it was wrong you shouldn't do it probably i'm assuming well it wasn't even a conversation yeah so they these people might have been raised the same way they might just like they've been taught from their parents that that's just not something we talk about or we do or that's gross so they may just not know and they haven't gotten out there in the world to educate themselves on it but they've got to feel the irony of saying yeah i'd love for my wife to be with another woman but two dudes together is stupid but they're just parroting what they've been raised to say it's interesting so i think somebody that's outside of the lifestyle completely you almost expect that right so almost like what you said had you not been exposed have you not met a partner that was so open-minded and then kind of shown you this like hey i have this kink in this fantasy and you were like okay well i'm open-minded like let's let's explore this together and you were like actually that's not as bad as i thought it was it's kind of hot like i would actually try that there's plenty of people that have never got to that point right so i think if they've never got to that point then they're just living where you were living prior to this and i don't i don't think we can really fault them for that but but i do think they just haven't had their their mind opened yet or they just haven't had it framed in a way where they can understand it now you talk about people that are actually in the lifestyle though and are exposed to the sex positive environment this place where it's supposed to be safe it's supposed to be okay you know you're supposed to be able to explore your fantasies and be vulnerable and and you expect this community to accept that with open arms and 99% of the time, I think people do, but you're right.
There are still some people that exist in these spaces that still have these negative stigmas around certain things. And I think that's the shame. Like you've, you've seen the light, you've seen how it can be if you're opening, accepting of everybody. And like what you're saying is why should we accept you if you can't accept everybody else that's in the same space?
I've seen multiple conversations on some of these different Facebook groups, lifestyle Facebook groups, or Hedonism, not their official Facebook group, but there's multiple groups that are focused on Hedonism. There's a little sign outside the playroom at Hedonism.
I've read it it's it's not a picture of it text you yeah yeah it's not worded super clearly but it could lead you to think that the sign is saying no guy on guy action in this playroom i actually after going back and looking at it closely i don't think that's what it's saying but why is it saying anything then i don't know but it isn't going to the playroom issue. We thought what it meant was they didn't want two men going in.
Because they don't let single men just go in themselves, but they do let single women. So I think what they were trying to do was prevent men going in together, two single men going in together saying they were doing. Did they say something like no male-male couples or something like that But because two single guys in there can wreak havoc, you know, and so they're trying to prevent maybe two guys acting like they're going in there together, but they're really going in there to just separate.
Right. But you have that same problem with couples too. Right. Absolutely. Every single playroom, a couple walks into and then the girl turns around and leaves and the guy stays. We've seen that, you know, and that's just having good playroom monitors that are like, hey, where's your partner? What are you doing in here? Okay, get out. Well, going back to that playroom issue, I don't like the idea of a bisexual playroom, but it's not so much.
For me, I don't like the idea of people going into a playroom and bouncing around trying to find somebody to play with. And typically in a bisexual playroom, that's the setup. Because if a foursome of two couples were going into a regular playroom and the two guys wanted to play together, they would typically.
So if you go into those bisexual playrooms, you've got guys going in there hoping there's other guys they can play with and i don't like that i think play should be arranged prior to going into the playroom and then you go in the playroom and play you don't need a bisexual room if you're going to do that just go into a regular playroom yeah i have mixed feelings on that because i we've actually had several positive experiences where we've bumped into a couple in a playroom and ended up playing and it was it was great so i think it's okay for that i do i do not like the people that go into a playroom and just go from person to person and say you want to fuck right until that one person the numbers game or you know they're being like encroaching on people's space and making them uncomfortable in hopes that they'll you know get some kind of action out of it like i it's almost it's like a predatory type behavior and you do see that now i do think there's a lot of organic connections that just happen in playrooms and that can happen right you're playing next to a couple and they're hot and you're hot and then you're like oh hey is it okay if i suck your dick and then you know next thing magic is happening but i think that's got it that takes some experience to manage that real well like yeah because otherwise you can't you do run the risk of being that creeper that's floating around right that's different than you two going in there maybe you're playing together or playing with somebody else i mean we've done that several times we just go to play around right we're just gonna play around the fuck and then in the middle of us fucking some other couple approaches or they just happen to be playing next to us and you know the wife will be like hey it's okay if the husband sometimes will be like it's okay my wife sucks your dick and i'll look at her and be like, is that okay?
Well, yeah, because you like 90% of the women. I like them. It's like the idea. 80%.
sometimes i'll be like it's okay my wife sucks your dick and i'll look at her and be like is that okay and well yeah because you like 90 of the women so having a bisexual playroom then probably does feel safer for bisexual men walking into that they're not going to be in a situation where they're offending somebody i think if you label the playroom a bisexual playroom which we all wouldn't know it's a bisexual male playroom i think if you were a curious male you probably would be more apt to approach another male and be like hey is it okay if i suck your dick or something like that because you've designated that space where that's probably going to happen because like if you did that in a normal playroom and somebody might get mad at you somebody might especially if you there's one in every bunch that is still homophobic and not comfortable you could piss somebody off yeah which is not okay it's not okay i think the answer should be they are just respectful and say no thank you and they shouldn't get upset and i think that is an unacceptable response but it is a reality that i think but as a male, I get that going into a bisexual playroom would probably seem a little safer.
Yeah. Yeah. So there's no good answer. Yeah. Better monitors maybe? More monitors in rooms so that way? Or normalizing bisexuality for men. Yeah. Because obviously for women, nobody cares. We don't have to go to a bisexual. No, that's what needs to happen.
And that needs to happen right i'm not going i'm going to any playroom i want to and could probably find a woman to play with yeah but men cannot all right all right i think now is the perfect time to take a little break and hear from the partners and sponsors of the swing nation podcast and then when we get back i think i want to talk a little bit about exactly that april how do we get if we're saying what 10 of the bi men out there are admitting to being bi how do we get the other 40 50 to to actually open up and be be honest about about their uh their feelings all right we'll talk about that after the break we We'll be right back, guys.
We here at the Swing Nation podcast are proud to partner with Promessage. Listen, guys, we've all been there. You're having a hot night with a hot chick, maybe a few hot chicks, but you need to kind of delay the time before you pull that trigger. That's where Promessage comes in. They have this awesome product called the Delay Spray. You literally spray it on and it delays the time that you orgasm so you can make sure that your partner is well taken care of.
And as swingers, we're all about making sure our partners are well taken care of. And Promescent Delay Spray is the perfect product for that. Click the link in the show notes below to get yours today. The Swing Nation podcast is proud to announce an official partnership with SDC.com. SDC stands for Seek, Discover, Connect.
And with over 3 million members in over 50 countries, it's the world's largest lifestyle community and a great place to link up with open-minded couples, singles, and kinksters from around the globe. Whether you're just starting your lifestyle journey or you're an old pro, SDC has something to offer you. With chat rooms, live cams, groups, and blogs, there's always naughty fun to be found.
SDC.com also has expert advice, professional articles, and entertaining content to enhance your erotic lifestyle journey. With information about parties, events, clubs, and businesses, STC is so much more than just a hookup site for swingers. It's truly an epicenter that can keep you plugged into the pulse of the lifestyle community in your area. We personally love the website's ease of use and amazing customer support.
They have supported us in our podcast in giving generous donations to our charity fundraising efforts. So if you're looking to connect with like-minded people, click the link in our show notes and sign up for STC using our affiliate link and receive a full access for 14 days completely free. Make sure you join the Swing Nation STC group and send us a message. Anxiety can cause ED, like the kind you get while watching your partner with someone else.
You're having the time of your life, yet are having stage fright. Most men in the lifestyle use prescription ED medication for this reason. Shameless Care should be your provider. Shameless is less expensive than other companies and has a 50-state network of physicians who are lifestyle-friendly. Use coupon code TSN for $30 off. ShamelessCare.com. All right, guys. Welcome back. Welcome back. We're here with Steve and April uh talking things by males. All right.
So before the break, we said, how do we bridge this gap between we know there are a lot of by males in the lifestyle, but they're just clearly not. They don't feel safe sharing that. They don't feel comfortable, I guess, exploring that except for maybe behind closed doors where people they know that maybe are by and they can, they feel safe sharing that. So how do you think we change that? How do we, how do we bridge that gap and make more males feel comfortable, um, sharing their curiosity?
I think one of the things that we can do is if you can be out, be out, talk about it. Um, it's, you know, it's like normalizing the lifestyle. If you can be out in public, you should, so that people can see you are normal, you're a normal person. And maybe not even public, but just in like lifestyle. In the lifestyle at least, right? Like, you know, Scott's a normal person. Like change that profile from straight to bi or bi curious or whatever it is. Right. He's not feminine.
He's not, he's still good at sports. He's still a father. He's still, you know, all the stigmas that come along with people. Suck one dick and you can't play pickleball worth his shit anymore. All your athleticism. It doesn't mean he's a great dresser. Yeah. There's a lot of gay qualities I don't have.
But it was unreal when we, when he finally, you know, came out the amount of messages that he got from not just men but women too that were like that you know the men would say i have these i've been wanting to talk to my wife about it but i'm really scared and you know how should i approach that conversation and so just having somebody to look at going oh their life didn't fall apart their wife still loves them you know they are a normal man yeah i think for women i think it was so important for me how you handle that situation that other women should know that imagine how your husband treated you when you were talking about your potential interest in other women for the first time right that's how you need to be treating him if he brings that subject up to you otherwise you're gonna uh it's gonna feel like he's doing something wrong or he's gonna feel emasculated and he's just gonna shut it down so it does at least in some sense start with your partner's support yeah it does seem like if your partner is one of the ones that like is like this is fucking hot i wish you were into this it gives you a much safer place to then explore it if you have some kind of tendency where you might be curious about it but if you have that wife that's like oh my god that's that's not that's demasking like who would do that what man would do that if they're against it it would be very very hard to even broach that subject it would have been hard for me even if even if she'd have said look it doesn't do it for me i don't think it's attractive or sexy but if you want to explore it go ahead that's a kind way of handling it if that's a truthful you know if that's the way she feels but i don't know that that would have given me the courage to explore it you've got to kind of have to be their biggest cheerleader i guess in a lot of ways well and i think that's our job anyways you don't have to fake it but there's some things you could not say yeah you know i don't love every fantasy he has right yeah but i'm not gonna be like oh that's so disgusting yeah i'm like go let's go do it some of mine are disgusting or i will support you i will support you you can do that it's not for me but i want you to experience that and to be clear she uh is turned on by any imaginable scenario with another guy it's other women that she has some yeah but you've there you've had some fantasies before where i'm like i don't think that's for me but i want that for you i want you to go explore that i will give you space to do that i want you to talk to me about it because i never want you know yuck somebody's yum but i never want him to feel like i'm not his safe space yeah i'm not his soft landing i'm not his biggest cheerleader and so whatever that might look like i want him to explore that and i want to be the person that he comes to and shares that with yeah that is now the point you just brought up just brought up is interesting.
And I know I feel more comfortable with Lacey and other women, right? I'd be like, Lacey, if you want to go to a date, if you want to go on a weekend and go fuck some girl for the weekend, like have at it, go have fun. We're same room. And I've like recently did an all-girl orgy. It was like five years. No, it was probably more than that. Oh, she also wasn't there watching. He was not there. But I had no jealous about. She just had maybe a little FOMO or envy that you wanted to sit in there.
I had to host the pool party or something, and she's out having an all-girl orgy. The only sad part about it was I wasn't watching, but it was on tape. But if I had went with like 10 guys, that would have been a completely different situation. I would have been dying on the inside, probably. Yeah. But why is it just – why is that? I don't know.
You just feel more safe know more safe i don't know would you let her would you be comfortable with her having a girlfriend like somebody that she saw frequently if he got to her too no no no you don't you don't go on the date that seems ridiculous why would we do that did i get a girlfriend on the side too you get a boyfriend that's not that's not the same thing at all yeah but isn't that crazy but do you feel the same way like you would be like have fun with a guy whatever oh absolutely no issues none but if a girl i want to be there to watch no because we've we've explored separate dating a little too so it would be probably more difficult for me to just say go have fun with with this other girl.
But I think I would, I could get there. Yeah. Yeah. Better than me. Well, I don't know that I could. We've always said no matter what it is, we, we never want to close the door on any opportunity completely. So there are, I have been times where I'm like, okay, I like the idea of this. I don't think I'm there yet. Let's set that on the shelf and then come back to it maybe in a few months. And then in a few months we'll discuss it.
And a lot of times, by the time we get to that point, I feel more ease about it. And the separate dating was that way. That was the one, that was one thing that we definitely said, no chance that's ever happening. If either of us ever bring it up, we know there's a problem. Yeah.
Oh, I told him, him i said if i ever say i want a separate date you better be scared because divorce is coming yeah and i was the one that brought it up like three years later after that statement after that statement i just started pouring sweat like oh no i'm losing her i said i think i want to try this because there were some things that i was never comfortable with when we were in a full swap that i wanted him to experience and i knew he couldn't experience that with me there and so sometimes she has trouble completely letting go in a foursome situation yeah and i have trouble not completely letting go like i'm oblivious to what's happening in the room i can see us being similar to that yeah except for we tried it and it was terrible right right it was terrible like we haven't really we haven't tried it yet we've just had he full-on fucked her and i boohooed like a baby the whole time he was gone she did the i think this would be hot if to me right and i was like this is a trap no and and then she convinced me to do it and then she got she got upset well she wasn't really upset with me i was i was actually you were just feeling feelings i was upset with myself because i was like we are good lifestylers like we are good swingers like i know that sex is sex and you can have sex without feeling so i was very frustrated in myself that i re i knew i was reacting i knew i was having feelings I was disappointed that I was having.
So I was working through those emotions. But he did it, and he fucked her. And he sent me a picture of his condoms and his Red Bulls. So he got the energy on the way there. I was trying to let her know I was being safe. But that's healthy, the way you handled that. This is not a bi-male conversation.
Yeah, but you're going to feel feelings no matter what what just pretend like this was a male in this story um we got on a tangent but anyway it was a good learning experience for us but it does bring this up that what when we were talking about separate dating and we did uh talk about this issue like yeah i have no problem if you go on a date with a girl you don't even need to ask my permission just as long as we don't have it's not a conflict on our calendar go she would say the same thing with me about a guy but i'd always said look the gown guy thing is just like a mild sexual attraction for me but i would have no interest in going out on a date with a guy i may have drifted towards changing yeah now your bisexuality has definitely evolved because at first it was like i think i could get turned on by oral sex with another man that was well I probably could fuck another man and then it was I don't know if I could ever be like romantically attracted to a man or even you know and I think that's kind of as you've become more comfortable in your skin I think that has changed yeah it amazing.
Once your mindset changes about a thing that, and just everything starts to slowly change. And I don't, I don't expect I'm going to turn fully gay and divorce April. Uh, but, uh, you know, it, it is, it has been a fluid, ever evolving thing for me. And it's what I'm interested in this week is probably going to be a little bit different six months from now. So, uh, yeah. Have you, um, faced any backlash? Have you got any pushback or has most people been supportive of this journey for you?
Um, yeah, I've gotten backlash from people that matter. Yeah. Uh, and family and, but we are in the deep South. Yeah. So not that that makes it okay. It doesn't, but I can see as someone who is born and raised here, I, I, I could get that. Yeah. We lost a couple of friends. Um, they weren't your real friends that weren't our real friends. And actually one couple really shocked us cause we, they knew, um, and they just kind of ghosted us after like, Thank you.
they weren't your real friends that weren't our real friends and actually one couple really shocked us because we they knew um and they just kind of ghosted us after like 12 years of friendship because he came out as bisexual yeah and we and there was and this happened we don't know if it had directly to do with this but there was a usa today article that came out about us i don't know spring of this year last year or this year and in that article you know we said or i said that i was bisexual among you know we're an open relationship we're not religious anymore all that stuff that's when that other friend a couple friend walked away from us and we think it may be because well now that it was so public yeah they're starting to feel because other people knew they were friends of us are they gay are they yeah just a lot of pressure we've seen that within some of our friend groups that it's not even that people distance themselves from a couple because they have an issue with them being swingers it's that they don't want to get painted in that same right right they don't want to be guilty by association they don't care that you're a swinger but they don't want the rest of society to think that they're a swinger so the the answer is instead of being like, I'm not a swinger, but my friends are, and I don't give a shit what you think about that, but judge me if you want.
But most of them are like, it seems like they're backing away because they don't want that stigma to be applied to them. They don't know how to deal with it. Yeah, that spotlight. Well, yeah, and you asked about the – I have had not as much as I would have expected as far as backlash. Part of that is probably because so much about us all came out at the same time. Yeah. And so we just had constant backlash for a period of – We didn't know if it was because he's bisexual. Atheist.
Or because he's an over- No, I get that. But now you did have a family member that was like, I don't want to know anything. I don't want you to talk to me about any of it. Like we would talk to our family members about stuff like that anyway. Right. But yeah. But I would never go back. We went through a brutal period there. Almost bankrupted us, to be honest. We lost about half our gym members over it.
But we we got through it a lot of hard work and a lot of sweat and crying and stuff and there is no way i'd go back to the other side of that yeah it's so funny it's very much like our like becoming out as a swinger it sounds like a lot of the buy stuff is the same it's the same kind of emotions and processing and working through it and then you're like no I think it comes down to just like why we like being open as a swinger is because living life is your authentic self.
There's nothing like that. Oh, it feels so good. I wish you could sell it. That feeling. Yeah. And you can't, there's no way we would ever go back into that cage. Like you can't, I would lose everything before I would.
It's not just about being in an open relationship where you can have relationships or sex with other people it's a almost a mind lifestyle mindset in general like i want to be open about everything i want to be transparent you want to ask me how we run our business i'll tell you you want to know what we do on saturday nights at our house what kind of tv shows? I just, I like to be able to be my authentic self about any and everything. We're not lying.
We're not trying to keep, remember what lie we told, which person, and then keep our stories straight. And it's, we're just, whatever the answer is, I'm just going to give it to you. And you decide what you want to do with that. This is us. This is me. And the beauty of that is it's a fantastic filter.
All of a sudden you start to find out who really is your friends, who you're going to hang out and, you know, invest your time with because the people that you shouldn't, they walk away when they find all that stuff out about you. Agreed. So what has this changed for y'all as far as like talking to couples and communicate other than like changing your profile to say, I don't know if y'all have like, you know, SLS, SDC, stuff like that. Yeah.
as far as like talking to couples and communicate other than like changing your profile to say I don't know if y'all have like you know SLS, SDC, stuff like that but like that's a great place you know for people that are listening if you want to just like test out the water so I think that's probably like a great place to start but outside of changing that like how has this changed how you communicate with couples and do things like that?
It hasn't really I have like i've never we've never been flirting with a couple and felt like this is about to probably end up in a playroom and said and me say oh by the way yeah in case it's a problem i need you to know that i'm bisexual i've never said but we have had people couples say stuff like well just so you know he's not bisexual like talking about their partner or guys say, I'm not bisexual. Does that bother you or is that okay if somebody says that?
No, I would prefer, I actually assume it that somebody's straight until. Right. Unless they tell you otherwise. Yeah. Not because I think you should assume everybody's straight, but because that's the safe play. I think girls should do that too, though, to be honest with you, because some girls think that just because another female is bi, that that means it's like green light to go and Thank you.
safe play i think girls should do that too though to be honest with you because some girls think that just because another female is bi that that means it's like green light to go and that's not the case i have to still be attracted to you and like you and think you're hot and think you have a good personality to want to like or even just assuming that every girl is buying the lifestyle yeah that is typical yeah so i i think that's like a good rule of thumb i agree all of that yeah.
Well, and not just because somebody's bisexual or gay or lesbian doesn't mean that they're attracted to every person. Correct. Think about it. People think that about swingers. They think it generically about swingers. You just want to fuck any couple out there. Any husband that's out there, you're probably trying to get in their pants because you're a swinger. Yeah.
We had a we were at with some friends and a friend of ours brought her friend who was straight and didn't really have much conversation with her didn't know her that well and she sat down next to me she said i just want to let you know i'm not bisexual and i'm like like she said something like i heard you were bisexual fuck you because you sat next to me like what i really think that people do that they think that so it's kind of the same concept i think maybe swingers need to remember that feeling and like apply that to bisexuality yeah yeah we've never going back to the conversations that about play we've also never had a guy we've i'm sure it's happened there are couples out there that don't want to play with a couple if the guy's bisexual yeah and i've heard that that's fine i get it that's that's totally your prerogative nothing wrong with that but we've never actually had anybody find out that i was bisexual and say oh okay we're out i think everybody kind of knows for them because most of the time we're in an event we're hosting i'm not bisexual and we're like cool it cool.
That's not a prerequisite. That's how we are. Everybody knows we use condoms for every... No one dares ask us to not wear condoms. It's kind of the same. But other of our friends, we've had a couple that we've played with, we'll ask them, do you care? Can we play without condoms? But they don't ask us because we're so public. Public about it. We're so out there. And it's probably the same with you. You're public about being bisexual. Everyone knows you don't have to. That kind of is nice.
You don't have to have those awkward conversations. But I would assume there's some point where if you're going to play with a couple, you would be curious if he was bi or not bi. I'll be honest. If I meet a couple... April asked that for the very first thing. It's her first question. It is one of my very first questions. I think it's a good question.
When i meet a couple that i'm attracted to both of them or the guy the guy i want to know because i love meeting other bisexual couples where the play is just free and you don't have to worry and you know the boundaries are loose and that's such a sexy play environment for me so i always ask and if they're not that they're not so like finding a four-way full swap is hard how the hell is it how hard is it to find both both people by man by sexual all people it's become a little bit easier now really yeah not that they're out not that the guy is out you still look at the profiles and that's of them say straight.
That's hard, but if you think about it, though, all four people are attracted to each other and are come to – it seems hard, but I'm glad that you've had good success with that. Guys are in the 80% of the people anyway, so it's not really that big of a – Everyone's attracted to Scott. I am. I get it. There's some truth to that.
I think if you look at just the genders in general yeah generally men are more sexually open and with more partners the gay community definitely has some stigma about they're all fucking everybody you know they're all fucking each other more power too right and i'm not judging that i think i think that's awesome but what's interesting is them those men are in the lifestyle right but most of them are closeted so there's you're talking about gay men or no a bisexual or gay men i don't know if i don't know a lot of gay men in the lifestyle way i think we've a lot of seen a few they don't call it lifestyle but a lot of the gay community is they go to play parties right yeah they go to play parties yeah experience yeah right you were talking about some of the the parties that you've been to and how amazing they were and that we need to go to one but uh i i think that is a gap where i would like to see more of those communities come to give you a little bit more time to give you a little bit there.
And we loved it. We were like, hell yeah. And they loved it. I had lesbian sex. It was amazing.
I want to do it i'd like i want to i think i would enjoy lesbian sex damn didn't forget to see it because he had a girl on his face oh i told scott if something happens to him i'm going full lesbian but like we loved seeing them there and i we hope to see more gay bisexual i just i want people to just feel comfortable in their skin so whatever that is if you're just straight then and that's what you want to be, that's great too. But I just want people to just feel comfortable in their skin.
So whatever that is, if you're just straight and that's what you want to be, that's great too. But I just want people to just feel comfortable. I don't want their – I just – I want everyone to be accepted. Well, I do think if bi men could be more open in lifestyle places, that would bring a different sexual energy to those environments that – Yeah, I think it's – so if you're out there, if you're listening and you think you might be bisexual or have some interest in it. Call Steve. Call Steve.
You can call me Scott or Steve. It doesn't matter. Your bi-alther ego is Steve. Yeah, Steve. I need a T-shirt. But just have the courage to have the conversations. Bring it up to your partner first. Get their support, hopefully. If you can that. It's going to be a struggle. You know, if you're in a committed relationship with somebody that your partner and they can't support you, you know, I don't really know that I have an answer for that because I've not experienced that.
I have a great support system. But if you do have the support from your partner, talk to people about it. Just be open about it. It's especially in the lifestyle.
It is is changing you're not going to get the negative feedback from people like you're probably scared you're going to i'm not going to say that would never happens never happened to me but it could tomorrow but if you'll be open about it don't wear it on your shirt you know or just go up and say hey my name is scott i like dick you know be that forward about it. Because you wouldn't do that with a woman. No, some men do. Some men do. Well, that's true. Yeah, some men. They do.
But talk to your community about it. You guys have a great lifestyle community where you're very open. And people should feel comfortable talking about that openly. And we try to do that, too, to create safe spaces. A lot of our events, like you said, we have lesbian couples, we have gay couples, we have trans people come to our events because it is sex positive. Whatever that looks like, we want there to be no stigma or shame around your sexuality. It is what it is.
Um, and so having those conversations, if you can't with your partner, there's, there's people like expansive connection, um, the counseling group, they can help maybe facilitate a conversation with your partner. But if you're not able to have that partner with your, that conversation with your partner, you may want to look at the relationship. Yeah. I mean, because that should be your safe place and maybe you need to talk to somebody, you know, a professional.
Well, I know that you're not alone. There's so many guys out there that are curious to some degree. So, you know, if you happen to bring it up at a party or something, there's a good chance that it'll be well-received from the other guy or at the very least not negatively received. So a lot of the fears I had was just, oh, people were going to start treating me differently.
Or, you know, that was the I haven't had none of that even though we live other than my close some of my family yeah I just don't ever get any of that has been hard from a family side but not from a friends nobody none of my friends none of the lifestyle people have ever given me any problem with that. And he's so proud. He walked into the gym yesterday with his rainbow shirt. I love that. He's wearing great shorts. I'm like, you look so gay. I love it. I'm here for it.
I wasn't intending that to look gay. It's so cute. I mean, he just, it's so hot. Which it wasn't a compliment when she walked up to me at the gym and she's like smiling this devilish smile. I said, what?
She goes, you look so but it's so cute yeah you're like proud i am i'm so proud and most people that are public or i'm sorry most people that are in the lifestyle are not public so let's say you weren't we we all didn't have these public platforms and you were in the lifestyle your family wouldn't know you You could still get to you know you can still do that so i mean like i want everyone to feel this way that we all feel that we're so happy that we're out and proud and love everything i want people to feel that way but i do recognize that most swingers are private and so it's kind of like you get the best of both worlds you get to live this like almost alter ego within the lifestyle just like we get to fuck our friends we get to have fun but then in your personal life you still are scott not steve yeah which i mean that should mean you should lean into your lifestyle alter ego even more yeah be as authentic as you can it's like fun to be i mean that's kind of seems fun especially if you're somebody that is deadly worried about like people finding out and you kind of get to do both yeah well and that brings back you you brought up the parties that we've invited you have to go with us to circuit parties yeah they're basically like swinger parties but for men well they're like swinger parties on crack well not crack that that's a bad steroids they're they're more um wild yeah swinger parties are and part of that is because guys tend to not have as much issue around consent around other guys you know because there's not as big a safety problem with guys and guys like that but if you are thinking that you might have some curiosity about bisexuality as a male but you're still not comfortable expressing that at a lifestyle swinger event then get your wife to go with you to one of these big gay dance circuit parties they're called circuit parties where do they find how do you find those yeah there's different i mean circuit queen is an instagram account you can look at the purple foundation purple party we're sponsoring one in dallas one of the original big ones it's like 3 000 gays they all are like supermodels do they have like playrooms and stuff like is or is it just they have the host hotel like they do it's basically a hotel takeover and then they've got a overflow hotel and they just they have djs going around the clock.
That's why they call it circuit. It's you go party to party to party. Um, but you'll see, you'll see people giving blowjobs or having sex. Not a, not the majority. I mean, it's sort of spatterings of it. I mean, unless you do that at our parties. It happens. So I get it. Yeah. Yeah. So the one that y'all are hosting, can they, is there a place that they can find out information on that? Is that public yet? Purple Party is the name of it. You can go to purplefoundation.com.
It's in Dallas, May 1st through the 5th. Yeah, we actually, at another circuit party here in Nashville, I think, no, or maybe it was Atlanta, we ran into two guys that are relatively local that were there together without their wives. Their wives knew. Their wives knew. They were there, bisexual, exploring that environment. Together. Together. That would be nice to have a friend. Yeah, that would be nice to have a friend. But it's a great way to go because nobody there is going to judge you.
You're worried that the lifestyle people are going to judge you. That's a great environment to try out. And you go with him, April. So the wives are welcome to come, I'm assuming. You won't see that many of them, but yeah, they're welcome. Usually if there was a thousand people, there might be five women in there. It's so much fun. That would be fun. I would go. I would go. Yeah, I would totally go. Okay.
So if people are interested in you guys i want to learn more about naughty gym and your platform um where do they go uh naughty gym.com is our website um you know we we do fitness and nutrition coaching on our uh platform it's 20 a month we do events've got our big one at Hedo coming up here. Four weeks, I guess. Oh, wow. It's that close, huh? I'm jealous. I want to go to Hedo. Come on. They can email us at naughtygymonline at gmail.com.
And then we're on all social media as Naughty Gym, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok. We're pretty responsive if you reach out to us on any of those platforms. We have a TikTok account. You get all the things.
things i have no idea i don't ever get on tick tock uh well we appreciate you guys coming into our studio oh wait we forgot one thing they have a discord room they do have a naughty gym they don't use it same reason i don't use tick tock because i don't know how to use it well if they don you, message us and we'll nudge them. I will put that on my to-do list this week to get in that Discord group. And drop some stuff. Yeah.
Yeah, look, I know you guys have a huge platform with that Discord group. So if anybody has questions about their health and fitness, Naughty Jim's fitness stuff is not some goofy sexual reason. No, it's not. It's just sex positive. Right. Yeah, it's just a group of people that think the same ways about things, and it's a real health. You guys might have missed the first episode, but you guys have been doing fitness and nutrition and have run gyms and stuff for decades.
You guys came from that background and really have kind of brought that into now your lifestyle platform. Well, and we know most everybody who's going to these parties are going to be either naked in front of people or wearing very skimpy clothing. And you want to look good, and that's what we built Naughty Gym for. And you can do these – like in my opinion, you could put these on your TV and do these workouts. Oh, absolutely. Like with people around you.
You're not working out to like naked people. Right. It's just somebody with like a sports bra on their shorts. Right. It's just like almost like what you would see in Just like almost like what you would see in a normal. It's just the sex positive. And it's usually April, which is really enjoyable to her. Since Dan's not bi, then. Sorry, Steve. Does Steve have anybody else in a thong doing workouts?
No, we did tell a story the other day about when we were first starting starting the business i wanted us to be more sexual in it and so the very first demonstration video of any exercise we ever did was me i didn't tell her i was doing it i went out into the field behind the gym we owned at that time and got a tractor tire and and then the video you just see the tire flipping towards you and then as it it falls over, I'm the one behind it, and I'm butt naked.
But I did it like half a dozen times just to say, all right, which one of these makes my jump look the biggest? And they're out there in that field. Yeah, people could have seen me too. In the middle of the city. So brave. I was hiding, but you could still see me from a distance. I was sweating because I was nervous. And you wonder why you got outed. Yeah, no kidding. No kidding. That's true. It was an impressive video. Yeah. We should see that. You should send it. I'm going to leak it.
That's great. Post it on that other website. Right. Yeah. And speaking, just to follow back up with discord real quick, I'm pretty sure, correct me if I'm wrong, there is a by mail channel.
There there is so if you are too afraid to ask somebody in person i get that that to me sometimes typing it or looking it up online is kind of like the first step before you're actually okay with saying those words out loud you can go into our discord channel and go find that channel and there will be people in there that will be willing to help you answer your questions i'm sure they would even be willing to talk to you like in a private message if you were not comfortable with with being public but there are there are resources yeah and so our by mail channel and this is kind of why it's this way is it's not public it's you have to message and moderator and ask to be added that way everybody in there has been asked to be added and cannot be seen by people that have not been asked that's good yeah well i will say this that i've had a lot of people a lot of guys message me to want to have a there's even a counseling group that has referred people just to talk to me because the person was just struggling with the oh i don't want to be a gay man kind of thing yeah but if you if you have questions about it, don't hesitate.
It is confusing. Me and Lacey did a fantasy podcast, and one of the fantasies I said is, I think I'd like to be with a trans woman. And then when I said that out loud, I'm like, well, wait, what does that mean? And so I get what you're saying. That is confusing to people, and how do you, because of all the stigma, how do you kind of of that? Well, I'm always open to, you know, somebody wants to message me because they're, you know, struggling with it. Don't hesitate. I'll, I'll respond.
You know, I'll pop on a call. If you need a cheerleader, I will cheer you on. April and Lacey will come watch you for your first time. Yeah. I'll put the condom on if you want me to. You just let me know what you need. It's like the fluffer. Yeah, I can do that too. I'm a little nervous. If this keeps going this way, normal straight guys are going to be like, no, no, we don't want to play with you. We don't want to buy guys in this orgy. Yeah, yeah. You'll be like the weirdo in the corner.
That's probably how straight girls feel. You know what I mean? Probably. They're probably like, oh, I'm just a straight girl. Lacey, just wait until you get him at the circuit party in his jockstrap. Yes, I would love it. Listen, I am all about, I am very, very sexually comfortable. Everybody on the internet thinks he's gay. Like we get lots of comments, especially like when he dresses like in his rave outfit with like his little booty shorts and stuff.
And we're like, you do realize that he wouldn't wear this like the grocery store.
Like this like a specific outfit yeah um but yeah so i get it yeah so i'm gonna actually say something and i've debated saying this this whole thing and i thought lacy was gonna out me with it earlier but but when i was a single male playing with couples many men would approach me and say hey you know are you comfortable with this and i actually one time allowed a couple to give me a blow job together because it was their fantasy and his wife was really really hot right and it wasn't that bad but i just wasn't into it you know i mean like it it was a blow job and it was it was a guy and a girl and they're sucking my dick together and it felt okay but you know what it felt like to me it's like i was never gonna out you i thought you were gonna say it and i'm actually i i feel like i should be able to talk about it because yeah we're saying be open right so right what it felt like to me is like have you ever had a girl you weren't that attracted to give you a blowjob that's what it felt like that's exactly what i was fixing to say it's that's what he's had experiences like that with men where they were he was like well they weren't really good at sucking dick yeah right and i've had that experience with women yeah yeah it's usually the women that you're not that attracted to that are really really good at sucking dick for some reason I don't I don't that's been my experience I don't know about you but that's why you should try more yeah open that it gets to 80 percent I think I think it gets in my head like the more attracted I am the more likely the blowjob is going to feel but I think it's just in my head right yeah so turn well and on.
And that's why Lacey's like, you need to get, you need to do it again. And I'm like, I don't, like I tried it. I just, it wasn't. You should try anything five times. Yeah. Well, in April, I have a bed, big yard. So I mean, April's really good at it.
So measuring against what I'm typically getting, sometimes it may not live up to that yeah i'll do i'll do less yeah so anyway so try it see if you like it okay dan try it see if you like it i tried it i didn't i wasn't i wasn't into it i mean at least do it where i can watch yeah i gotta be i gotta help you make your decision you never had a support system like lacy behind you you know you don't know how you feel no i was single at the time and that's probably why i tried it i was like a blowjob's a blowjob but what if i sit on your face wow you wouldn't even know that way you wouldn't even know yeah you wouldn't know who's down there like a mystery you'll have to be facing that negate the like if you don't like it then why should you like be distracted in order to get one this is totally we've lost the wheel yeah we're off but it's the what feels good feels good yeah you know yeah you guys are anyway we're gonna set this up yeah lacy's sitting on dan and dan has no idea what's happening i might have just opened pandora's box you did you know what okay we're trying to wrap this up but just to follow up on one other thing when you said you would have sex with a trans uh man or woman woman sorry i said that wrong um that was a conversation that like a lot of people talked about that like they did with you like what does that mean there's some people that messaged me it's like i felt the same way i don't know what that means either and it's like and for me and this is you know going back to having a couple give me a blow job i'm just not i don't think i i think i'm attracted to femininity right so like if april had a dick i would want to her because i am attracted to her she's beautiful right it's not so much her genitalia it's just that i'm physically attracted to you right i'm just not attracted to steve i'm just not and i part of me wishes i was because then i could be more of an advocate and be more of that like hey everybody be open and be what you are and i've said it to lacy several times like i kind of wish i was a buy male so that i could lead you know help lead that charge and make it more normal you don't need to be a buy male to be an ally and to be supportive and to be you know and just having the conversation is huge right well yeah just having a show like this where you're saying.
In fact, sometimes it's important that non-bi people say, hey, I still love and support people that aren't like me. It's easy for me to say, oh, I like bisexual people because I am one. But it's different when you're not and you still support it. That's what we need a lot of.
Well well i support it up to a point uh but no i really do support people being who they are and and i really think the lifestyle is a the one safe place that i know of where you can you can be that um it sounds like maybe some of these circuit parties and stuff are too so uh definitely give it a try um if you're curious reach out to somebody we definitely have chat groups and stuff like that for that on our server and things like that so if you're curious about any of that you can go to the swing nation.info sign up for discord we'd be happy to add you to that chat uh all right anything we kind of we kind of went off track sorry anything else for the swing nation listeners you guys want to put out before we call it quits uh no come party with us at hito january 4th through the 11th would be better at being bad week.
Yeah, we've got the whole resort. It's not a group. It's a complete takeover of the resort. And we've got educators, some of the best educators from all over the world coming to do some really fun, cool stuff. So it's a different type of week than what's typical at Hedo, but still all the same party. And very bi-couple friendly, right? Yes. Yeah. There you go. All right. I think with that, in a world full of apples. Be the pineapple.
Be the pineapple, the pineapple guys bye bye if you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us leave a five-star review wherever you're listening if you want to see more of our content you can find links to snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com.
Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us, and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.
