First off it would be discrimination to make only single males get a background check. Secondly I have no problem with a background check as long as all parties are required and I don't have to pay for it.
There are plenty of females just as bad. And of course just because your a couple doesn't mean that one or both doesn't have a criminal record. A famous example would be Bonnie and Clyde.
I also agree that not everything gets reported.
That's why it's always best to meet in a very public place and get to know each other first, whether it's a swingers club or McDonald's.
I used to have a job we weren't supposed to profile others, but you learn a lot from people's actions, body language, speech, eyes etc.
Just because someone can pass a polygraph test doesn't mean they are not lying. especially if they believe the lie themselves.
Remember when we were young and started dating sex didn't always happen 5 minutes after meeting. I think the soonest for me as a teenager was a hour one time after meeting her.
Everyone be safe and have fun.
Background Checks for single men on the site
I know this is an old topic (btw male half here) but something needs mentioned about it that I did not see or overlooked in all the replies. Whether a background check is done only on part of the group or everyone it is a flawed idea. See a background check is only as good as the information that has been reported. Now it should include criminal activity assuming an individual has been tried and convicted but what about the cases where the crime was not reported? How about the screw ups when someone was convicted and it not reported? How about things that are not crimes but would be a problem if they come up when or after you meet someone (bat shit crazy)? Overall a background check is only as useful as what would be on the report.
BTW I'm not against background checks per say and the wife and I have passed multiple checks some going pretty deep into our history however even the best check does not tell me what kind of person someone is now. Lets look at a a real world example and comparison of what you get in a report The 19yo who drunkenly streaks across the college football game now has a criminal record and has to report as a sex offender. They are now 40 and have never had any more problems. Run a background check and it comes up as sex offender level (whatever) with zero details as to what actually happened. How about that 20yo girl who went to pee behind a bush and got caught? You guessed it sex offender level (whatever same as the streaker) and is now 45 mother of 3 and been happily married for 20 years with nothing more than a warning speeding ticket since (btw I know someone who has this issue). But then you get a guy in a trench coat walking around the park opening it to anyone and everyone who started doing this at 25 and is now 56 still doing it. He has been caught multiple times and still have to register as a sex offender level (whatever same as the others). Out of the three which one would you red flag from a background check that only said sex offender level (whatever)? Oh and while I don't think it works for sex offenses but for some crimes there is a program that gets your record cleaned up in exchange for classes and money. I cannot remember what it is called but after completion you no longer have things on your record. Our state was talking about expanding the crimes covered under this program recently.
I've been involved in the life style for more than 20 years. I've seen gullible or stupid come and go.
As I told my last friends who found themselves compromised by a "couple" in a club. For context, they woke up with bleeding asses and empty wallets after doing "coke" in a private room of a club in Atlanta.. Well, you know, you shouldn't do drugs with people you just meet in a swingers club. Duh!
I think that it's unlikely that "single men" are registering, paying, and leaving a paper trail on this site if they have pre-meditated ill intention. There is a good chance that some of these "upstanding couples" might have a checkered past. In fact, twice as likely.
I recommend that if you are meeting ANY prospective single or couple that you do this in PUBLIC SPACE the first time. Take a few minutes to get to know your new friend. Perhaps you'll realize that they're not who you want to be with, before you have your pants around your ankles. An ounce of common sense is worth a pound of regret.
If you are that paranoid, and/or lacking in good judgment, or letting your dick do all your thinking for you.... then you really should not be on a swinger site, or any dating or hook-up site, lol If you can't figure it out from a few emails or the IM, and by meeting them in person AT A PUBLIC PLACE like a restaurant (not some vacant parking lot like on a Craigslist ad), then you are up for this years Darwin Awards.
Do you know how expensive it would be to do a background check on every single male on here. Then there is a liability issue in posting someone's criminal history online. I am sure there is just as many female criminals / insane women on here as men. So you should also do criminal checks on all single women. Also there are married men on here cheating on their spouses, and women who are also cheating. What is the legality of that. You probably have couples who have been arrested for domestic assault . There should be a criminal check on couples. Okay..so the best way is a background check on everyone that joins. Increase the membership to cover all costs. Then after that is done you cannot post anything for view. So it is all for nothing. The best way is for everyone to do their own home work.
The hunt is sweeter than the kill, we always want what we can’t have...
Background check should be an option that someone chooses to put out there. When their is problem and I’m present then I’m part of the problem, looking at situations from different perspectives will broaden our views,
Thank you for your time to read my reply.
If someone randomly invites you (for a first meetup) to a sordid hotel near a truck stop in the middle of nowhere, it might be salubrious to avoid that situation. Common sense. I don't want anyone, male, female or couple to get hurt. But as a single male my antenna is always up, reading the situations I engage in. If I have to ask myself 1 time "should I do this? Should I be here?", I respectfully leave immediately. Again, trusting instincts and having common sense. Legislating a background Check for those unable to utilize basic observation skills, I can't and won't subscribe to. As a single male I am ALWAYS on guard initially because I'm walking into a potential situation where (if its a couple or couples) I am outnumbered. So should couples get background checks? No. If you lead with your head (big head, not the little one), vet each single person or couple properly and thoroughly prior to sexual congress, you'll be fine and avoid the potential hookup landmines.
Curiousman,
I’m curious about how you figure this is about political correctness. Also, I can’t figure out why anyone is mad about a post that hardly anyone else takes seriously, is overwhelming ridiculed, and is three years old.
I guess what I’m really suggesting is that you don’t let dumb stuff get you riled.
This is a ridiculous suggestion! I’m so sick of this BS. I paid a membership. I put my face out there. That should show my trustworthiness. This suggestion is political correctness going awry! What a thoughtless, erection killing submission.
910 days and no followup from OP. Yet he is stalking profiles of those who have posted here, ours anyway. Maybe there is a need for backround checks.
LMFAO, a background check on a swinging site that is directed towards single males only????? Really Dude?? (O_o)
So this single male with the name "Wifebuster" who more than likely is unable to get pussy on his own merit and on this site has come up with a genius idea....he suggests that all single men on this site should take a background check because only "single men" are capable of having criminal records? I guess in his mind ...the guy with the hotwife/girlfriend who he's trying to "bust" is incapable of having sexual assault, violent crime, or drug dealing on their record? Im not sure why he doesn't also suggest a credit check...and financials as well O_o
He then goes on to say: "Guys are going to join the site no matter what, and the guys paying now will still pay, and the guys who do have things on their records could still join. Those guys profiles would just have a warning on them or something. Just a idea that would also drive more couples into meeting the single men on here, and give them a sense of safety. Guys could pay for a background check once a year."
This dude clearly did not take the time to really think this shit thru before he posted it .
It appears his train of thought here is to exempt the male half of a couple from taking a background check because the last thing "HE" wants is the guy with the hotwife (whom he wants to bang) to have some idiotic warning placed on their profile?? O_o
This feels like nothing more than a cheap, and subtle attempt by him to try and weed out other single men (his competition) so his chances as a single male increases! This guy is over here looking for ways to eliminate the other single men when he should simply just "Step His Game Up" and try and find ways to make himelf more attractive and stand out from the single men on this site, he's chosen to take the cowardly-weasle like approach and try to eliminate other guys....LMFAO hilarious. There are plenty of sketchy couples and single females on this site. so drawing your crosshairs on single men only is stupid...to say the least
Anyone (especially a single men) coming up with the hairbrained idea that single men should have to submit to back ground checks on a sex site....either are: a.) Completely and utterly clueless and lack self-awareness or b.) more than likely are a weasel in nature and rather than step their game up and be more presentable to single females/couples...would rather take the easy way out and hope their sorry asses get picked by defautl! LOL His suggestion is lame, and WEAK to say the least! It shows a total lack of confidence in his own ability on this site
I think the best way to weed out fakes and flakes is to look at there certs. If others speak well of them then they are more likely to be nice folks.
So the single guy who uses a hot female as his profile picture wants the site to call out others for being deceptive?
Hahahahaha
Hahaha! "Wifebuster" wants background checks. Oh, the irony.
Sorry, but there is no elegant way to say it. It's a terrible lousy idea. Need a background check to have sex? Come on!
Opening Poster's screen name is all the background check I need.
This is some good shit in this thread. Quite simply; any "Single" guys on here are either fucking around behind their wife's backs. Any guy who is still single after the age of 25 has been vetted by every woman he has met and not in a favorable way.
People who call for background checks to participate on websites for anyone show their naivete.
People who call for it for an isolated group show their general ignorance.
Background checks... lol How about verification for everyone while we are at it. How many couples profiles are out there where the wife has no clue. It looks, in many photos, that the husband is sneaking a photo of his wife, or for all I know just a random woman. Or it is just vacation photos with the faces removed. lol... all the while the MRS has no clue that she is a member of a swinger site. How about the illusive unicorn? How many of these hard to find creatures are really Bi or gay men "cat-fishing" you all into trading photos so they can create spam accounts on other platforms? There is always the prostitutes and cam girls that want to lure you to their cam site, or to proposition you for money. The topic, being checks for only single men is naive as well as insulting. One use for kik is to get a conformation that the person on the other end is a living person that matches their profile.
Some might say that we have a treasure-trove of photos under lock and key in our personal and private photos, but if you don't unlock them, you are faced with the same dilemma as Schrodinger and his pussy in a box. Is it... is it not.... I guess we will never know.
Quit making non-monogamous men the villain here. All the men here, and women too, are non-monogamous. The only difference is a legal document that tangles your finances and property. Property, in regard to owning another person.... well now, we all no that is illegal. We all know that "until death do us part" is statistically a fairy tale. Anyone of you could become single very quickly... illness, car wreck, shark attack, or even a coconut falling on your head, (which is more likely than a shark attack) so don't be so fast to demonize someone for being single and non-monogamous. In my case I am holding out for a true poly tribe, but until then I am a single, honest, upfront person that finds this to be offensive.
So I wouldn't generally post on any forum but going back and reading I see I should. The idea of background checks on anyone is ludicrous although it is still very understandable. I know many of couples, singles both male and female so I say this from not only mine but others experiences as well. You'll find bad all over the swingers lifestyle period and that's regardless of your definition of swinging. Some single men are very aggressive its horrible I know but those that are typically feel they have to be to compete with everyone else on the site no matter how backwards the thinking. Single women typically are treated as a prize once again horrible but true the issue you can end up with a lot of very damaged single women who do some less than stellar things like become possessive. Couples well you can get either of what's named above or just a couple who isnt actually secure and shouldn't be exploring anyway. I understand there are a million different variables to what can become of a meeting but it does all start with proper vetting which is something you can do by talking to the person or people that know them. I know people that swing purposely outside of where they live and use different names because of the internet and how easily accessible you are so background checks would scare those people off. Swinging is viewed as outside the societal norm so you'll get some people who are also outside of that bubble it's up to you to weed out what you can and can't deal with. To me it's truly that simple
BT, have you been cleared to post yet? I haven't seen any paperwork. ;^/
To borrow a thought from below...
"Wifebuster, you are not very smart."
BT
Why look to improve n perfection?
No one should have to have a background check here it's not what this is about . Text some then chat a little .meet for drinks in a public place and use your judgement. As far as people dumping on single males. Put up a couples profile showing you have no interest in single males and sit back and wait two days 35 messages from single males. We are a full swap couple and wife is bi truly has no interest in adding a single male . In the beginning we didn't block sm but the amount of im and messages was overwhelming. And 75 percent were rude or offensive so not just a few bad apples . As far as sf we have met and played with three two were great one was really bat shit crazy. And we pursued them no emails from them so that's are side of the single male saga from are view
There's alot of venom towards single guys in this lifestyle in general but in this site in particular. I'll create cold fusion before I understand why. I'm surprised we aren't charged more to join like we're charged double sometimes triple what anyone else pays to get in most events.
Not all guys are jerks or stalkers. some are just horny and enjoy the idea of group play
Wifebuster, you are not very smart.