I have a problem

Midaghipppie I looked at your photos and profile and see nothing wrong. You both are very nice looking people and if you lived closer we would certainly play with you. As far as the men wanting your wife and the women not wanting you, we have experienced the same. This is not limited to you, the men are ll over my wife while the women just sit and forage and drink. I would not want them anyway, but that is no reason for their husbands to monopolize my wife. Our/my rule/ is if his wife does not play he does not play with my wife. NOW keep in mind that if you are in a situation/ any situation, and you or she is not comfortable or happy get the fuck out. I call it " the duck and run " concept. My wife and I go to a party and if there is a man I do not want her to play with or there might be a woman that she does not want me to play with, it does not happen. Better to pass up a play then to fight about it when you get home. This has nothing to do with Jealousy, There was a situation where the wife was constantly drunk and would not play while he chased after my wife after I warned him and her both to stay away from each other. Next thing I saw them in the bedroom going at it. I stopped them told her to get dressed, reminded her again that I did not want him paying with her. Was dead silent all the way home then the fight started.. And Justifiably so. !!!! We are in this as a couple and play as a couple, sure in a party we go our separate ways, but I had only one request at this party, she did not honor it. SO you have nothing to be leery of this happens in a lot of situations. My wife is a
great wing man for us in that she finds couples, is not afraid to ask the lady to trade places with her, get the party started. Nothing wrong with having your rules even deviating somewhat within your comfort zone. We now do not attend any parties. We only entertain one couple at a time in our home or theirs, or if away in a a hotel room. Feel fee to message us if you like, and for those of you that do not agree with me feel free to respond, which i know you will.

1hornytoad22451 - One half of a couple wanting to play while the other doesn't is a problem, but the bigger problem is when one half of a couple could care less about their partners sexual needs/desires. This is the sort of thing that can lead one to cheat.

I know that in our case, if one of us decided they were no longer interested in playing, the other would still support the one that did. However, we both get something out of seeing each other having fun with others. That doesn't seem to be your situation.

All I can say is that you need to talk to your wife and explain your feelings. If you don't get the support/answers you're looking for, ultimately you need to decide what's more important to you. Unfortunately, many think they can have both and just cheat, and that can be just postponing the inevitable.

1horny toad22451
my wife Lit doesent want to swing any more but I am getting horny to try sucking cock what can I do cant leave hous without her she is down on Bi

I look at it as I may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I'm some peoples cup of tea, and that's all right. I do think that some people want to step up in the looks Dept, both men and women. For us, we would rather play with couples. So often not all four people click, it may be for whatever reason. Attraction, Looks, height, weight, or a bald head, etc. We've met couples and right away the wife says to me, No no way.., but after talking and getting to know people she has changed her mind. Some women just don't want to do a bald guy, but for others it's ok. We have agreed with each other that we won't take one for the team. and it ok for the other one to go for it. @Mayhem, your hosting party's? Since Covid we stopped going to events in your area, we are booked for one though later this month in Manchester, hopefully a good time. (Fusion Party) it would be nice to see you two again.

As a party host, I do take note of couples where it's clear they are just at the party for him to play and they do tend to fall off my invite list. We do that more for other couples than us. If the Mrs plays with the guy and has a good time, it doesn't as much matter to me that his wife isn't playing because there are plenty of other women for me to play with.

The Mrs can and will play with however many guys she wants to. So long as she's having fun, then so am I. She pretty much will always have more opportunity than I will at most parties. Having a bunch of horny guys that want to fuck her doesn't bother me, even if my options are limited. That said, it is rare that I don't play as much or more as the Mrs at most parties.

We do see couples that expect to play with other "couples", and it causes issues for them like MNJFLA voiced when only one plays. This is much more so when the wife is the one not playing vs the husband. It is just less chance of drama to not invite couples where only one plays, but as eluded to, it is much less of a problem for other couples when the one playing is the wife vs the husband. Perhaps this is because women generally have more opportunities to play than men. I have never heard a woman complain that, "They're only here for her to play because he's not playing." ;-)

It sounds to me like MNJFLA is attending parties where there are a lot of couples where the husband is the only one playing. One upside to having the wife there even if she isn't playing is that you at least know you aren't playing with someone cheating on their spouse, if that matters to people.

I would like to respond as this sounds like something I would post. We too run into the same thing and no it is not you ! Im sure you have great personality and are not bad looking. Some of the parties we have attended the wives just want to sit there and get drunk or bull shit. The husbands want to fuck my wife, who by the way is very attractive. I feel I am also not that ugly, and have played with very few women at some parties. Many of the nicer run parties the host and hostess watch for those couples who do not both play and never invite them back again. Everyone is not expected to play with everyone BUT everyone is expected to play with someone. Our rule is that if both of the couple does not play we do not play with either one of them. We have had some situations where my wife may have felt sorry for the man and fucked him, or she was so dam horny she fucked him without thinking, but his wife does not play. That is bull shit ! What you might think about doing and your wife should be supportive, is if his wife does not play or may not be attractive to you, your wife should not play with him. Better to avoid the situation than to go home and fight about it after. We do not take one for the team, nor should you and your wife. The lifestyle is to have fun and sex with other people but not at the expense of your spouse. One thing we do is look at each other and ask can we have sex with that person. We always try to be on the same page. My wife is more forgiving and tolerant than me, and I am working on that...lol If you see her going off with someone there is nothing wrong with taking her aside and talking to her.. Like I said avoid conflict before it happens, not deal with it latter when you get home. Some men think they are Gods gift to women, which they are not ! Feel free to message us and we can chat further. Hope by now you two have come to some mutual agreement, how to handle parties and possible road blocks.

First of all you sound too down on yourself. Sounds like you have a confidence problem. Hit the gym, get some exercise. Dental hygiene, being clean, well groomed and smelling good goes a long way.

Father time and mother nature is going to get all of us. We're all going to get old and lose it. But hey man kept your head up.

While you're getting in shape leave couples alone and just do the single male thing. There are tons of couples I've met they don't see other couples because of the drama of jealousy, compatibility ect ect. They play with a bi female many times from a strip club or a single male

Find some respectful single guys you can trust until you get yourself going again.

My ability to stay hard would be one of the other "attributes". ;)

New_Hotwife_StPete - " It would also help if my partner mentioned in conversation things like my oral skill level and other attributes..."

Maybe Yes, maybe No. Just like when you see only profile pics of a woman's cleavage and it some interpret that as, "She's overweight", hearing about "oral skills" for men can be like code for "they can't get/stay hard".

Having always been involved with younger (about 10 years younger) and much hotter women who chose to be my partners most of my life, I know they naturally have more of a sexual appeal than I would in the LS. What this would mean is that they would attract younger and sexier male halves of LS couples and these males would reach out to our profiles. These younger, hot males would also likely have younger, sexy wives. If we met to play with these couples, there were times I felt I was being less than desired by the other couples female halves in the initial meeting. I'm slim and athletic and have a decent package, but in these situations I was sometimes out of my league. In those moments, I had two choices... Let it mess with my head, or get my head in the game. I have a very quick sense of humor and can turn on some serious charm and make people laugh and have fun. It seemed to be quite an equalizer and would often overcome any initial hesitation. It would also help if my partner mentioned in conversation things like my oral skill level and other attributes. So, if you find yourself in that type of situation, you can either make it much worse by letting it get inside your head and withdrawing and having a bad attitude, or you could do the opposite, pour on the charm and have some fun.

I almost died in 2016 and my recovery was long. I went from salt and pepper hair to mostly white hair. Then my hips wore out and I was walking like a 90 yr old man. looking for the next place to sit down. Prior to all this I did well enough. Had both hips replaced in 2020 and I am finally getting my groove back. With that has come more interest from the other females in and out of the LS. I am convinced that it was a confidence thing as much as what I was going through physically. Women like confident men. Just another thought process for you to consider as I agree with what was already posted. If the weight is in your way, it is in your power to remove that. It is damnable harder as we get older but it can be done. Always remember, though this is affecting your ego, all that matters is your wife. She is with you, YOU. That is what matters. As far as what to do as you get better and improve, I agree with considering MFM to allow her pleasures. Had to convince my wife to do so as she didn't want me left out. Good wives are wonderful creatures that men are lucky to be with. Remember and focus on that. Work on you and your mojo and things will get better. Good luck!

Fuck bro, if I'm still alive at 60, that is a win.

midagehippie - Regarding the topic, Yes you do, but I don't think it's the problem you think it is. If the picture of you in your profile is current, then other than lack of hair, nature has not been that unkind.

You indicated that you've put on some weight. Obviously this bothers you. It is within your control to change that if it bothers you that much.

If you have a requirement for slender people and are not slender yourself, that is an unrealistic expectation. If you think that because your wife is slender that this somehow entitles you to play with other slender wives, I'm sorry if you're finding out the hard way that it doesn't always work like that.

BTW - How are you meeting these women that are "horrified" at you? You have a clear picture of yourself in your profile. If this is how you look, then there should be no surprises as far as looks are concerned. That's why I have to question how you are even getting to this point in the first place?

If the one picture of you doesn't reflect what you currently look like, then I'm sorry to say that, based on your profile, what you're currently experiencing may have something to do with karma.

You don't appear to be an ogre, however the couple-to-couple dynamic can be difficult for some at times getting 4 yes votes to swap. If you like to see your wife having a good time, perhaps focusing on single males more would be an option to watch or join in a threesome.

I'm not going to waste time arguing with you about your experiences or the inferences you've drawn. You're either correct or you aren't. But if you'd like to take a step back and just do MFMs instead of swaps, there's nothing stopping you.

Life certainly is less fair to some than to others. And I certainly feel for you dealing with the mix of rejection and at the same time wanting her to be pleased. Is it time to consider more of an 'affaits' scenario for her, where whe could potentially still find the satisfaction she needs, knowing you're there for her? I truly hope you both find a place of peace in your circumstance...

Assuming that the one photo of you is current then in my opinion it's not your looks or weight that killed your recent encounters.

Hi, first of all I wish you well with all of your medical procedures. Try to find something to take your mind off of health issues, been there done that. As far as "couples" who are really just interested in the females I sometimes wonder if they really are an LS couple of is really just the man in the LS and his woman is there just to help him find playmates. We have certainly encountered that ourselves. I don't know what to say to make it better other than don't take that personally as it isn't just you.
Frank

Not sure what I am looking for
...mainly to blow off some steam, I guess. Until not long ago, I was always able to attract lovers. But...mother nature has NOT been so jkind to me over the past several years. The pandemic and a severe back problem, (have surgery scheduled for September), I have gained about 30 pounds. Always in shape and svelte, but...not so much these days.

I have the love of my life in my life now. She is an extremely young looking, sexy and desirable milf. Since we started swinging, so many men have wanted her. Up until the last two times we have met couples, it has always been a positive experience. But the last two times, it has been a total disaster. Both times, the husbands have wanted to fuck my lady, but their wives have wanted NOTHING to do with ME. In fact, the looks on the wive's faces have left me in horror, thinking that they would rather fucking DIE than to have to touch me...and they have shut down the meetings, refusing to allow their husband's to fuck my lady.

So, imagine my horror, in realizing that mother nature has really done a number in me...that I am SO hideous that no other women other than my lady, would EVER want to fuck me?!

We love the lifestyle and have no desire to stop swinging. But how do I continue, knowing that I turn off every potential experience for my lady?! This is for her! Yes, it turns me on so much to see my lady in action...to see her fuck another guy, suck another guy...and now, I am standing in her way. I don't want to give up the lifestyle...we love it too much. Bit what does one do when you're in a relationship where your lady is so far out of your league...she turns on everyone, and YOU turn OFF everyone?!?!?!?! I can't even seem to make friends with fellow swingers, all because the women in the couple we are trying to become friends with, have no desire for me. I feel I am ruining my lady's opportunities!