WTF Profile Text

A profile "Online now" that is 12 years old, it obviously has not been updated since day one, unless they started the profile when they were 10 years old, that reads "New to this".

Y'know, I'm perfectly willing to send out vulgar SM emails to ya. But only if you really WANT me to.

drools

LOL. You, and most are welcome to view us! We only have SM blocked. Wish we could grant permission to the fora folk.

We get too many vulgar emails from those SM who have figured out the Mobile App Glitch.

Looking for a like minded couple to share some fun with....

Click on the profile

Sorry this user has chosen to have their profile blocked from couples

I'll have to think about how to respond to them. They want sane, normal, and non-pushy. They didn't come to the right place.

That couple sent us an email about getting together. LOL

Saw this profile on a club list far to the north of us. I won't quote all the text, but all of these lines are in the profile. The way I read this, it says, Judge, Judge, judge, judge, judge, judge, judge, judge, judge, judge, we are non-judgemental. There's not one thing wrong with being judgemental, and judging people according to what you want, just don't follow that by saying you are non-judgemental. LOL

"So can we find sane, secure , open minded people who enjoy boating have their shit together ?"

"After being here for around 5 years now we have found meet some very nice people ,some very strange people."

"We are full swap and looking for same."

"PLEASE NO PUSHY MALES PLAY NICE OR DON'T PLAY AT ALL!"

"Looking for sane ready willing and able females and couples."

"Prefer people close by."

"No broke ass's if you can bring something to the party stay home IE; Bring the beer bring a plate to pass chip in for gas have some class."

"We don't play mind games and won't tolerate it in others."

"We are not "Barbie and Ken", and we are not looking for them either."

"Single males must be the right type"

"Both of us are non-judgemental"

To clean the furniture after he pops his wad. Of course, spooging on the nightstand is the mark of a real barbarian. As everyone knows, a TRUE gentleman wipes his junk on the drapes after making sex.

shifty eyes

"Looking for: Warm wet sopping boxes. Let my hurricane tongue work u into a frenzy

Description:
Highly trained sharpshooter. That can take out a eye. I brings lemon pledge as needed!!

Fantasies and / or real experiences:
Leaving lady's with memory loss with a sticky ending"

Someone please explain to me what the lemon pledge is for...

Didn't I not put a disclaimer in there that said it's a work in progress?

Geesh!

BT

Just came across this doozie in profile approval...W.T.F.

Looking For:

Open to suggestions, really have no I dear what to expect. I watch porn, have an u healthy interest in incest, older women young men, watching clean straight forward gang bang without degrading behavior towards the woman.

Description:

I am Large not obese former weight lifter, I have shrunk a few inches in height to my current 5' 11". Have bouts of ED, watching sex seems to help that issue some but not all the time. Politically left, former diehard right leaning but have been cured of that no longer in Republican recovery.

Fantasies and / or real experiences:

No real experience per say, want to watch wife get a little excited and watch Hercules often.

Additional comments and things to do, see, hear or learn about:

Love give oral. Not big on getting BJ but enjoyed the few
I had in the past. I would rather eat her out then go for broke.

~rabbit~

From a profile of a couple local to us:

"I am the female of a couple looking to enhance my curiosity exploration with a fit tiny female like myself. My partner will either watch or take part as we see fit. We are real, kind, respectful, and outside of the box thinkers."

Oh yeah. WAAAAAYYYYY outside the box thinking right there. LOL

Just saw a profile on a club list we might attend soon. I won't give the exact name of the profile, but it's an intentionally misspelled version of "freaks in the sheets". Their interest levels were set to Watch only, and this is the text from the first section of the profile.

"Looking For:

Same room group Sex with our own partners. Some touching. Girls may kiss but not with the spouses."

So they're "freaks", but not too freaky? Have whatever preferences you want, but if you're going to use adjectives to describe yourself, try to be somewhat accurate.

I don't know if this is an attack of autocorrect or.....

"Looking for deceit, save sex. Women , couples, threesomes, mutual masterbation, on going steady relationship"

Your guess is as good as mine, sweetie.

Or, to put it another way, what do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

Elephino

SF off of the profile approval page

"I am thick, curvy, most men call me a stallion. Im caramel."