Generic profile advice

While there is always room for specific feedback, it seems that the vast majority of the time, a lot of the advice remains the same. A few things come to mind. Below is a list of probably some of the most common things I've seen over and over. Did I miss any?

When it comes to pictures, Velma has this pretty much sewn up, so people should check that out first. Not sure how that happens, but it has become a sticky thread that always appears at the top of this topic.

Treat each section like a question. For example, treat "Looking For" as "What are you looking for?" (i.e. Looking for a couple for MFM, a SF to attend parties with me, etc.)

Ask yourself if what you put in each section fits best in that section. For example, don't put a description of yourself in the "Looking For" section.

There is no need for words to describe things that your pictures and toggles already show (i.e. height, weight, body style, etc).

Keep the content positive. Negative experiences are the exception, and you'll look defensive and jaded if you dwell on them.

The term "Like-minded" by itself is meaningless. People need to define what that means to them.

A tag line should be witty, positive and catch my interest, if possible.

Everyone knows you are here for sex. Many (if not most) want to hear about things besides that, to see if you have common interests and things you can talk about.

Don't cut/paste in that toothless warning about using your content (i.e. Syndey University study). Best case, it makes you look gullible.

DO cut/paste your profile into some sort of word processor to find/fix spelling and grammar issues. Note, Google Docs is free and can be brought up in a browser.

Do not repeat the same things in multiple sections of your profile.

Do not leave any sections blank, or take the typical cop out about fantasies and say something like, "We'll discuss this when we meet."

Keep it positive, and try to end the last section with a positive thought.

We do not have face pics in our public folder but do provide them if a meeting seems eminent (i.e. date/time/place scheduled). I can't think of any time that showing our face pics after seeing definite interest in meeting has resulted in cancelling plans.

If you are meeting someone in a public place, they need to be able to pick you out of a crowd so at some point you will likely have to show your face in order to meet.

The alternative is to find and attend LS parties where your profile is unlikely to even come into play. It is more expensive, but at least 10x more fruitful than the online-only game.

Any suggestions for someone who hides their face due to their profession? For me I feel it’s either show my face to everyone even the scammers and risk everything or just keep getting ignored inside of a dm because I’m hiding my face, it’s no issue to just verify and video chat. Most profiles have their face blocked out and in their bio says have open photos of your face! Can any one tell me how this actually works and give any real good advice?

"IMHO no picture is better than bad ones."

In some cases a gumby picture = "No", but a bad picture can = "Hell No!" ;-)

"...I know any picture is better than no picture..."

IMHO no picture is better than bad ones.

Yellow smiley face covering up everything in the photo - worthless. I understand discretion but be reasonable.

Tough guy, brooding, extreme concentration, scowling, etc - sorry guys, not sexy or appealing. Smile!!!

Bathroom mirror selfie with cluttered counter/toilet in the background - yeah, no. Put some clothes on, go outside and have someone take your photo.

You only need a few photos in your public gallery, you can have more but you only NEED a few. It's not rocket science - your gallery should entice other members to read your profile and contact you. I check to see if someone looks like a hated family member, if they appear to be capable of dressing appropriately for a public meeting and if they look happy.

I'm sure I'm in a minority but looks are not what attract me to someone - a photo might catch my attention but personality will determine if I want to play or not.

Something I've seen more often lately is people will take a picture with only their face/s visible, and then blot out their whole face. I know any picture is better than no picture, but this comes across as just plain stupid. Why bother? At least include all/part of the body as well.

When the upper limit of your age range preference is people your age or within a few years but the low end are people that can very easily be your kids age, it's not a good look. It can come across as the person/couple thinks they're either entitled or somehow better than everyone else.

IMHO, if you're nowhere near close to the middle of your age range you're better off just leaving it the default (18 - 99?) than biasing too young. You can always say No to people that don't interest you, but by biasing too low you may be pushing people away without realizing it.

FWIW - Everyone gets old, and karma can be a bitch ;-)

I edit mine from time to time to keep it up to date but also to not be repetitive and to keep it as open/informative and discreet as I can make it...without writing a novel lol

I learned a long time ago that if a profile is all about making potential responders jump through hoops in order to meet rather than about them then don't waste your time because those people really don't want to meet anyone.

When posting things of a negative nature in a profile, it's not like it really does any good because nobody believes that THEY are the bearer of negativity.

Okay, but I'm going to continue to think there's something sketchy about people who even mention something like this. It would never occur to me to say I wasn't looking to replace my relationship or cause drama or whatever, because those things aren't in my life or frame of reference. So, my inference is that people who do talk about stuff like this are afraid of it or have it or cause it or whatever. And then stay far, far away from them.

I think a better way to perhaps say what they're trying to say is that they are looking to add to and not replace anything.

Someone, it may be a warning that trouble-makers won't find success, but could also be reassuring to others that they don't want to cause relationship drama.

That's my guess.

Mayhem, how does it show up in a profile when you select "Needs Work" in the approvals? I don't want to be mean, but seriously, two lines? If they just say they want to meet "like-minded people" that's too vague and I sent them back to fix it but it could be tough since I can't say what part (or if it's the whole thing) needs work.

File under "what not to do". Just noted a profile that had less than 2 lines of actual real profile text, and nearly 10 lines of the cut/pasted "Legal Notice" BS.

ALL play is about consent, regardless of sexual orientation.

Women who truly love women are not interested in getting with women who aren't actually interested in women, so calm down. You sound like those straight guys who are afraid of gay men.

Something I recently thought of is that, as you check out other profiles, you will come across some that really stick out, and even better when that happens for profiles with very average looking people.

While plagiarism was frowned apon in your school years, it is perfectly OK here. If you see something you like, there's a good chance that others will as well and it is perfectly fine to use it in your profile. So if you are serious about wanting a better profile, spending time reading other profiles should be part of that effort.

Also, a good profile will evolve. Our outlook on the LS is a lot different now than when we first stated, and a profile should reflect those changes.

Saw a profile on another site where the only pic was a close up of the couples faces, but the faces were completely blotted out. Would have thought that it was obvious that there is no point in that, but I suppose at least it wasn't blank. Go figure.

Agree SOC.. if one cannot show us what they look like before hand we are NOT wasting our time..!

Our attraction starts with your photos of BOTH if a couple! So many times the women is beautiful but the guy is terrible looking, no smiles, etc etc! I (Kat) want a great smiling good looking guy in my bed!

BE HONEST. The difference between putting your best foot forward and tripping over it often comes down to honesty. If your goal is to meet new friends and fuck them, they're going to know pretty quick if you lied about anything physical on your profile when you actually meet, making the end goal completely unattainable. It's almost like none of the morons that do this have watched a SINGLE romcom.

Have current pictures. Post current stats. Be up front about what you're seeking, not just with potential play partners but with yourself and your spouse/partner(s).

The odds of you finding what you're looking for go up dramatically if you'll just do that one thing.

General advice:

Lie early and often. Use doctored pictures, pay someone to do deep fakes if needed. Text of the profile doesn't really matter much. Pictures are 95% of success on here. So, you show up at a place not quite as advertised... Clubs are dark anyway, and they already spent the time and energy to get there; they will forgive you.

I'm not telling you anything you don't already know

Excellent point about F on F play. Our profile actually states that it happens if the attracon is there, as with any play partner.

I've changed a few things over time as our tastes and boundaries have changed, but also in checking this section and looking at other profiles.

The thing we seem to have the most trouble with is getting in the mood to do a photo shoot. I keep saying we're going to do it, but it doesn't happen. We take pix but not usually of each other and selfies are very rare for both of us. We just need to set a timer and do the thing, I guess.

You all have such good advice, that I just keep looking here. You're quite entertaining, too!

Hmmm, not sure why I was never flagged when someone posted to my thread and realize this was a while ago, but...

obmscpl - In general, you probably want to be looking for "Bi" rather than "Bi curious". My Mrs likes breasts, mostly in the heat of the moment. Any intentional same sex touching is a form of Bi play, hence the "bi curious" selection. We are probably not the only couple like this.

Just like straight women don't want to play with every man, the same applies to women playing with other women. The Mrs has truly surprised me at times, but I don't expect that, and neither should anyone else just because she's listed as "bi curious". The bottom line is that you really have to read a profile If you are looking for same sex play, because "bi curious" is likely selected for lack of a better classification.