Rate my profile please

Yeah... Still not a fan lol

"...we recently saw several full bushes at Desire. Probably well groomed, I don't know maintenance specifics, but certainly covering the entire pubic area."

I should have qualified that as "among active swingers." My roommate has a full bush (down with the patriarchy) and so does one of my close friends (German hippie), but they also have armpit hair and don't shave their legs. The rest of my more-or-less vanilla friends are hairless or just have a landing strip, even though I live in hippie town. And I know this because of hot tubs, hot springs and saunas, not because I pry. ;-)

Nudists have also gradually made the transition over the years and now it's rare to see a pube even at non-swinger-friendly places.

But if you were an active swinger, you'd certainly stand out and that's not a bad thing.

@GGM - we recently saw several full bushes at Desire. Probably well groomed, I don't know maintenance specifics, but certainly covering the entire pubic area.
I have to say, even though we are very much in favor of Brazilians, that looked hot. Maybe because it stood out so much among a hundred or so bald pussies and cocks, but the bushes certainly called attention to themselves. We didn't play with their owners so not sure how it would feel like, but the visual was nice.

Its all thanks to all of you. You all have been so truthful and didn't pull punches. Very appreciated.

We always welcome an opportunity to partake in a cigar work you all!!

I just wanted to say that your profile has gone through the most amazing transformation.
My first impression of your original profile was "ugh, these guys are such douchebags". I know it wasn't your intent, but that's how it came across to me.

Now, I love your profile.

If we ever got together, we would love to smoke some cigars with you (his preference is for Monte #2, she likes Remigton Vanilla), talk about our collection of hookahs (from a 19-inch Mya, to 42-inch Khallil Mamoon, to a 6-ft monster we picked up in a souk, and a few more in between), and if all goes well, show you our waxed/shaved/VERY WELL TRIMMED pubes after :)

Very welcoming and friendly, and very attractive, at least to these well-educated and affluent professionals (if I were to make a suggestion, I'd drop "affluent", and possibly well-educated. Your proper grammar displays education, which in turns implies affluence).

Good job.
Look us up if you're in town.

Sorry. I either created or allowed a typo. It should be this: Honestly, the perfect scenario is a couple or a sexy lady that clicks with us so well that fucking is just a natural consequence.

Really, based on your posts, you're lovely. But your profile is still unnecessarily offputting. At this point, I usually just give up and say it's fine, because after this many changes, even if it's a disaster, it's usually a fair reflection and should stay that way. Because it will get the slice of available people that will most suit those who have asked for a critique and not much more and that's fair.

But as I said, you seem lovely, so I'm going to edit Looking For for you and try to explain where I think you go off the rails. Here's how I think it should read:

We look for down to earth people. We look for intelligent, secure, and mentally strong people. People that are just as comfortable in a city as they are in the country. Every day individuals that are in this lifestyle to enjoy the company of people… with just that one little extra dimension.

Intelligence and beauty is a powerful mix that can drop panties. Personalities are key. Honestly, the perfect scenario is couples or a sexy lady that clicks with us so well that fucking is just a natural consequence.

We like to talk about serious topics and stupid shit. Relax, we are silly dorks at heart.

We prefer waxed, shaved, or VERY well trimmed pubes please.

Okay, so that last line is pretty much bullshit, because that's the norm. The last time I saw a full bush was in 2004 or so, but you're so insistent that you get to keep it. But not that passive aggressive coda, because there's no justification for that.

Do you see the difference? I've removed nothing that adds to the picture you're presenting of the people you're looking for, but the ukases, the fluff, the private dialogue and the negativity are gone and your inner charm is way more apparent. Also, I've added extra blank lines so as to overcome SLS's formatting issues.

Is this starting to make more sense? Obviously it all falls apart if when people meet you it turns out you're actually like your very first iteration of your profile, but I'm trusting the persona you've displayed here is accurate and that you really are silly dorks at heart.

Once again. you all have been amazing. Thank you. Ok, the latest version is up for those that would like to view the creation they took part in. We're off to hit some trails in Shenandoah. Fall is calling our names people!! Hugs and kisses on all your moist parts. ;)

But other hooks end if Do you own a motorcycle, or you’re a Washington nationals fan, or you like to golf… Do you want to list stuff like that because other people who might enjoy those interest can reach out to you and it’s an instant icebreaker.

That’s one of the reasons why the cigar picture can be detrimental or be a positive. Other cigar smokers will see that and be interested. Although it could be a detriment if you’re one of those militant anti-smokers

You need enough information to get someone interested. That’s it. I would say no more than one or two paragraphs per section.

The most important thing are the hooks-your hobbies. There’s a reason why we list all of our races, it’s so that other marathon runners will instantly identify with us and we can establish an instant connection.

LOL racing mayhem! :-P

A profile that tells about yourself in summary and carries no negativity is ideal. Try to let the negativity you encountered before be addressed on a per diem case.

The length of the profile will determine your audience, just don’t ramble.

~Allen

Again, long can be fine if it's not rambling or repititious. It should succinctly address the heading the text falls under with a minimum of negativity.

If you can accomplish that and just happen to have a lot to say then I'd say you struck a good balance.

If you do have a lot to say, you should look for things you can pull out. As an exampe, any sort of physical description that is covered by your pictutes is not needed. So is info covered by toggles (preferences).

Here's another question. Where's the balance between a sufficient detailed profile, and one that is too long to read?

Lol, bullet points and power points... Our consultants is showing!

Makes sense. You're right. It is still a bit too objective focused rather than quality.

This has also opened my eyes to a lot of the jadedness we've developed as a result of bad interactions. For example, we've run into couples that have turned out to be just two friends posing as couples trying to score. That kind of deception is not something I care to deal with again, hence the desire to mention it.
What I didn't consider is the impact on people that aren't that type. So I'm throwing the baby out with the bath water.

We appreciate that.

I've gone from trying to get laid to defending a dissertation... LMAO.

Thanks all.

Earlier you got the standard disclaimer - but I'll repeat it since you've had a lot of people make comments - everything said is about your profile, not about you personally. I'm the kinder, gentler blunt and mean - but I really am put off by your profile.

I agree with HollyBlue - you've probably made some revisions since the initial reviews were posted - but I'm still seeing a very MeMeMe Looking For section. There is a lot more text there than anywhere else and some of it shouldn't really be aired in public. Merge the repetition and delete the negativity (or restate in a positive way). No need to mention single guys - your profile is blocked to them. And why would you even mention bondage or pain? Anyone looking for that will mention it very early on and you can pass.

Your age preference makes me shake my head - twenty years younger to five years older - really? Not good advertising - a lot of women in their mid to late forties are going to say "oh hell no" and exercise their veto power. If you raise that upper limit another five or ten years you will attract more positive attention - and you can still say no if they're 52 and that's unacceptable.

Adding some vanilla interests or hobbies in Description will also help. Surely you have interests other than working out, people watching over coffee and dancing the night away! Seeing evidence of common interests gives people a chance to think - "hey, they're like us" and you know you'll probably have something to talk about during that first meeting. We're all here for sex but many want more than a sex object - we want well rounded, fun people. So do you make the best barbecued ribs, refinish furniture, grow your own tomatoes or cheer for your local football team?

Your pictures aren't bad but I'd like to see at least one where you're dressed like you're going to meet another couple. Always smile, watch for clutter or visual chaos in the background and avoid selfies.

I see glimpses of a fun couple in your profile and your posts here definitely show it - so I think you just need to refine your profile a bit more. Several short paragraphs rather than a list of sentences will also help. Currently it feels like a Power Point presentation - all bullet points!

Good luck and have fun!

~Phoebert's Wife

We prefer waxed, shave, or VERY well trimmed pubes please.

"Shave" should be past tense, So change this line to:

We prefer waxed, shaved, or VERY well trimmed pubes please.

Good. Now you can come and fuck me. Lucky you.

Looks like I am reading a revision. Still you all still come across a bit off putting. A blunt bullet-pointesque approach tends to do that. However, the comments post preference really set that off. If you are indeed goofy throw in some humor with the negatives as a counterweight. You really don't need to throw in the part about being attracted to a couple. It is a given and just take it as a compliment when someone is attracted to you. The reality is they don't know if you will be attracted to them or not or the vise versa. Everyone is putting themselves out there. There are most likely couples who would be good matches who are passing simply because the profile isn't written well. When you do get a final revision up go ahead and change up your pictures at the same time. That will get some people to revisit your profile. Good luck.

I agree. Most of our encounters have been at Desire resorts, but we never saw anything like that. We are decidedly NOT all-inclusive resorts people, mostly because they are so goddamn boring. But people at LS resorts are the friendliest, most approachable, cool people we've met. And you could tell most of them are big-time alphas in their daily lives, but there they were just chill.
We loved it. The guy challenging you to pushups was just an asshole. Don't put up a defensive front because of one asshole. Based on your responses here, I'm sure you guys are great people to hang with. The people who certified you thought the same. Get your profile to reflect that. We are new here, and new to couples dating, but it's clear from the first few lines in a chat who's a pushy aggressive douchebag and who's not. So we'd rather lose a few seconds of our time to weed out the assholes, but not drive off the friendly folks we could have a lot of fun with.
Maybe it's a newbie attitude and we'll get more jaded as time goes on.. but for now, we are open to whatever comes our way.

Regarding the alpha male thing:

Any guy ever challenge you to a push-up contest is a douche bag.

I think my husband is an alpha male, but not in the douche bag sense. My husband was an infantry man in the army. He used to take hills from afghans who really wanted to keep them. He started for businesses including one software company that he just sold a few months ago.

My husband is a man who knows what he wants and he’s very good at getting it.

I would definitely say that my husband is an alpha male.

But if you put my husband in a room full of surgeons and he’s not the alpha male anymore. If I put them in a weight room with you, he wouldn’t be an alpha male. If you did a marathon with him, you wouldn’t be the alpha male.

So I guess in a nutshell what I’m trying to say is the whole alpha male thing is situational.

So maybe that line can be changed to something like: “Guys, be respectful. “

Thanks all for the great feedback. Thanks also for making it constructive and not unnecessarily harsh.

I think that my revised profile is way better than before.

I understand how it can seem that way. The catalyst for that line was after an absurd interaction with someone who actually came up to us and challenged me to a push up challenge.... Without even saying hello... And when I refused asked me if I was a pussy. I almost ended up punching the guy. So, yeah it left a bad taste in my mouth.

But you're right, that isn't apparent so it can be misconstrued.

Point taken. Thanks

I generally refrain from commenting on profiles of others, because we are new to LS and don't have a lot of experience, but this line struck me as funny.

"Any "alpha-type" behavior will not bode well".

The entire profile suggests that if there be any "alphas" in the room, it'll be you. If the point was to ensure no other alphas will challenge your dominance, you've done well!

If you really are silly dorks at heart, maybe have them re-write the profile :)

Good luck!

Great suggestions. Thank you

The numbering (1 - 5) kind of reads like, "Here are a list of my rules", and the numbers just make it look like you have a lot of them.

Not saying they are unreasonable, just that it makes you appear to have a lot of rules. I think you can say the same thing with less words and numbers and it would be perceived more positively.

Some of it is negative and kind of goes without saying. For example, nobody is going to want to be with "an ass". At least not that kind of ass.

I did notice you bumped your age range up, which is good. When the high end of your age range is lower than one of your ages it gives the appearance of thinking "you're all that, which is never a good look.