Mayhem - there absolutely is and bigger is not always better that's correct. But when it's a good size and it's used right that's the ticket. Unfortunately for her if it's small it's just not going to hit some of the spots for her that send her into euphoria
BV you mention good experiences and it's interesting because we've been with couples where the male wasn't well endowed. Those experiences were not as good as the ones with those that are for her. It's not that we've cut that off or wouldn't talk to people, and it still may happen especially if it's at an event or a club. But when we go into planning to meet a couple she wants to know that they at least have an average or above average cock before. Because if it's not and it turns out to be small or very small it doesn't matter how nice they are, how skilled they are at other things, she's going to leave dissatisfied.
Smokinghotredhead - "Just to clarify the wife likes them big, not huge."
There is definitely a Goldilocks zone for dick size. It can be different for different women, but bigger is not always better.
Yes, I replied as I did without considering bisexual males. With respect, that's not my demographic, so...
It's my observation that many folks seem to treat the lifestyle more like they're shopping for fruit at the grocery store, instead of having fun with new PEOPLE. Sexual objectification of one another is to be expected to some extent. That's cool. But reducing fellow human beings to strictly what's between their legs shuts out many other fascinating connections. It's fine to have fantasies we seek to fulfill, but why block out some real adventures? Within our natural parameters, we all have our PREFERENCES. But why make these into inflexible PRIORITIES? We never know what good experiences we may be missing out on by being so rigid about what we must have because that's what we're used to, or that's what we can't get at home. A penis may resemble a piece of fruit, but it's still attached to a person (in most cases), and each person may have several fun gifts to offer. Every woman is more than just her tits and pussy, right? I've learned that the splendor of the swing lifestyle is in experiencing variety on multiple levels, remembering to use my imagination and creativity, stimulating my mind as well as my body.
Ultimately, I am impressed by those lifestyle folks who display a measure of class. They are the ones who at least respond by saying, "Thank you for your interest, but we're seeking something different at this time. All the best to you on your search." Really, how difficult is that?
Just to clarify the wife likes them big, not huge. Yes, there's a difference. She's not looking for horse cocks or beer cans that's for sure!
'Guys lie because they think every woman wants huge.'
I disagree. I think guys lie because they are weird about their dicks. That explains unsolicited dick pics, straight guys who shop for hung guys for their wives for their own pleasure, guys with small dicks who feel inadequate, guys who worry they'll get a stiffy at a nude beach, etc.
I can manage pretty much any size between horse and my forefinger, but if I could design the perfect dick for my pleasure, it would be short and on the fat side, because that gives the most options. I'm still way more interested in the guy attached to the dick than to the dick, but in a perfect world...
As I said Before, I had a FWB that was in the lifestyle and she was always telling me about the huge guys she had. So big they couldn't fit. I'm average. I asked why she liked me and she said that with the big guys she always had to pay attention to what they were doing, put a leg or pillow between them, because she was always afraid of getting hurt. Trip to the ER kind of hurt. She couldn't do those guys more than once a week. Me, she could do several times a day , everyday and she could relax and let me put her in any position and pound away.
There will always be women who only want huge.
There will always be women who only want average.
There will always be women who do not care and are just as happy with a dick the size of my thumb as they are with a guy that would make a horse cry.
Guys lie because they think every woman wants huge.
As it says in our profile, for SMs she generally likes them young and hung, but the key word there is "generally". She already has an average sized guy in his 50s she can, and does, fuck at any time, plus the couples we tend to connect with have (guess what?), an average hung guy in his 50s. When we play with a SM, she is usually looking for something a bit "different" than daily life.
Having said that, "generally" is not the same as "always". I remember one specific example of an average guy about our age we got to chatting with at Caliente. Not what we usually seek, but this guy spoke with a French accent and sold custom dressage saddles of which he had several in his Expedition. The wife has been a life long dressage rider, so that average middle age guy had a helluva good afternoon! An accent and a fairly specialized common interest equaled "different", just as does young and hung.
Mayhem - I can see that, and it makes sense. We haven't heard it yet, but I guess the longer you're around the more you'll see and hear. It just so happens our female half loves big ones!
Smokinghotredhead - "We've been in the LS about a year and a half and not once have I heard the woman say "I wish it was smaller"."
Actually, I have. in our 10+ years in the LS, I have heard it and it even experienced it a couple of times. It is much rarer, and especially for me where I am not huge in length or girth. Some women are just extremely tight and being stretched in the least is not a pleasant experience for them.
I have also seen profiles that stated they were looking for guys that are average or smaller. Those are rarer than the ones looking for above average, but they do exist.
BV you sure have a way with words, that's for sure. While I tend to agree with you, especially the so called BIG DICK SM group, there's a couple other angles to consider. First, and it's been discussed on these forums heavily, what if the woman is after something she doesn't have at home? Maybe her husband isn't well endowed and that sparks the craving for something bigger. Obviously a big dick wasn't a priority because if it were she wouldn't be married to that person. But when they explore the LS she's wants to feel something she doesn't have access to regularly. We've been in the LS about a year and a half and not once have I heard the woman say "I wish it was smaller".
Second, which it the total opposite of the first, what if that's what the wife is used to? What if the husband is well endowed and that's what she likes? Especially playing with couples, if the wife is accustomed to a bigger size and the other male pulls out something significantly smaller there's going to be a dissatisfied customer. For us, that's where we are and why we want to see what the male half or SM for that matter is working with. It's not that we wouldn't entertain a male with a smaller package, but something that is well under average is a no go for our female half. Everyone has their preferences in regular life and the LS. It's the same debate in the other threads about cut vs uncut.
I had a work friend who always lied in the opposite direction. He would say it looks just like a penis... only smaller.
He said if and when he got naked with a lady she was usually pleasantly surprised to find out he was average in size.
It's always smarter to under-promise and over-deliver than to over-promise and under-deliver.
Same reason so many women put "zero" in as their weight. We've been groomed by society to think that only thin women are sexy (which is bullshit) and that only very hung guys are good in bed (which is also bullshit). Same thing with boob jobs, toupees, etc.
BV - This is of course not every case, but a good many of the guys who put their "cock first", as you put it, tend to be bi. Since they find dicks atttractive, they think most others will too. They look at their cock and think, "Hey, if I were a woman, I'd want to suck/fuck that", but that's a guy that thinks he's thinking like a woman.
It's not like some women don't think like that, but based on my experience, it is way less than 50%. My wife has zero interest in seeing dick pics and I've heard more women than not say the same.
FWIW - On a competitor site where dick pics are rampant and people comment on pictures, about 90% of the "Nice dick" comments come from other guys. That should be very telling, but common sense is not as common as it's name implies.
A person's true character is manifested not in how they act, but in how they REACT.
Those who lie about their penis endowment demonstrate low character. Don't let desperation make you a liar. That truth will out. However, this is in reaction to the pressure so many others exert in this matter, selfishness on the part of the demanding females, and ego on the part of well-endowed males. Thus, their character is also called into question. Many profiles here crudely insist that any interested males MUST be well hung, or they must, essentially, hit the road. No chance. Go away. Buh-bye. All because of something over which they never had control.
Of course, this selfish insistence may stem from bad experiences with males of lesser endowment, coupled with a poor sexual performance by the guy all around. And we all want what we want. So, for some, patience and courtesy go out the window. They haven't the time for it. They're just here to fuck, and only the way they want it. BIG DICKS!
The guys with the huge dicks, on the other hand, often tend to BE huge dicks themselves by boasting about their genetic gifts as if that automatically qualifies them as superior individuals, as sex gods. These guys are the ones who put their cocks first. They think with their other heads, and they usually can't be bothered to string complete sentences together, or put in the effort to seduce a woman with artful language. It's true that many woman get wet by the way you speak to them, not by cock pics.... not by stuffing it in them without any sensual foreplay. And foreplay begins with the connecting of two minds, long before any clothing is shed.
Interestingly enough, on the flip side, no one is crass enough to insist that any interested females MUST have a tight pussy, or they MUST have huge, firm tits that are all-natural, not artificially enhanced. Why not? Because that would be rude, yes? That would be selfish. That would be--- of low character.
Harley that's exactly how our Mrs is, she wants to know what's coming! When there's no Pic of it in the private album it makes us think they're hiding something. She's been let down too many times when we went to play and it wasn't a good size.
I like to tell everyone that I'm hung like a chipmuck. By the way, that's a lie. LOL
I'm a girl who enjoys seeing a nice penis in a private album just as much as they like to see my naked pics. I kinda like to see what im going to play with, plus its a swinging site that means we more then likely are going to play if we connect and seeing what's on the menu adds to the excitement. But yes I'm an average size girl don't come with a 8+ that's not for me
On a competitors site, when people post pictures, others can and do comment. I haven't done the math but as a guess, when a guy posts a dick pic, about 90% of the time when there's a comment it's from another guy. That's kind of telling.
If a guy is flashing dick pics he is either Bi, or doesn't know what most women want, or both.
simple answer....Porn, its the same reason some men are horrible at sex too, warped their perception of what a woman wants, what will attract them. same reason unsolicited dick pics are still a thing. every guy i've met who has sent or sends them that way, i always ask if it ever works, i've never gotten a simple yes. BTW not saying porn is bad or anything like that, just i can see the parallels between lying about your dick size and what your typical porn from the 90's lead you to believe/
If you cock is in her womb, you’re doing it wrong. You should also probably call an ambulance.
ya ... I d K... mine is 8" ... and seems to maximize a normal womb to sometimes stretching her out... but, like a poster said, its about how you use it.
A woman has SO MANY zones to linger in... some and most, have a 3' zone which deserves some exploring on angle to hit it.... fast pace pounding will never help a gal get there in my opinion, unless she pushes you to do so... then, she won't get hurt.
its not the size that counts its how u do it
Good points everyone, but I'll add my 2 cents worth in, I think it goes both ways, men & women sometime aren't truthfully about certain body parts because just as some women said they thought they getting somethings bigger & more enjoyable, many men have said & thought the same upon seeing the woman in person. Again, fair is only fair.
I'd say because it's just because many people have no idea.
I can't tell you how many women in the lifestyle I've heard brag about hubby's 10 inch dick only for them to be bringing a standard 6 incher to the table. Once enough women get the idea in their head that that's what a 10 inch dick looks like, if you tell them it's 6, they'll think you are bringing a roll of quarters.
So to a good extent, people are forced to lie to match expectations. It's kinda weird.
