michaelswinger12 dude try not to sound so desperate. It really makes you look bad just like the guys who are the reason single males do not get invited to parties. In fact you have done nothing to change the viewpoint about that at all.
When we started on this site we had our profile open to single men for about a week before we realized that was a mistake. For every well penned greeting there was 10 or 15 heres a pic of my dic can we fuck now type messages.
The brutal reality in the swinging world is that a single males sexual market place value hovers near zero due to the ratio of losers to decent guys who know how approach the lifestyle.
I can sympathize with a well-mannered mans plight when faced with this but so many just avoid single males when faced with the sheer numbers of creeps that accompany you.
We dont really attend house parties but it would make sense that they and life style events would be the best way to introduce yourself and make a good impression.
True cant argue with that I'm in Florida and couples not with it ??
@Older - I think people are smart enough to know that not all SMs are bad. What does tend to happen is that people are leary of SMs because of the shady ones. No doubt you can sense people being leary, and some may have given up on them due to bad experiences. All you can do is keep trying and it helps to realize what you're up against.
It's sad we need love 2
What drives us crazy is the single guys posing as a couple . We have been chatting with a"couple" for a few days and the guy finally admitted he was playing alone .wtf Wife was like they sounded great but no go She loves the couple dynamic or group play. Why do you single guys do this. Do you think your so great people will look past your dishonesty
What drives us crazy is the single guys posing as a couple . We have been chatting with a"couple" for a few days and the guy finally admitted he was playing alone .wtf Wife was like they sounded great but no go She loves the couple dynamic or group play. Why do you single guys do this. Do you think your so great people will look past your dishonesty
It's a shame that all single men are lumped into the same being presumed to be some asshole who doesn't care about violating every rule or meeting a couple then turning into a total night mare jerk.
I am a single man and I like to go to adult gatherings, I am polite and I wait to be aproched to start up a conversation, then when the women or couples ask me to join them, OK it's normally we both have found through talking we like each other to go have some sexual fun.
I'm very talkative and because I am a European tourism guided and Alaska guide I have so much I can chat about with anyone .
I've had some of the greatest fun with couples where the wife likes to have 3 somes and have another man other than her husband for her sexual play .
It's a shame that all single men are lumped into the same being presumed to be some asshole who doesn't care about violating every rule or meeting a couple then turning into a total night mare jerk.
I am a single man and I like to go to adult gatherings, I am polite and I wait to be aproched to start up a conversation, then when the women or couples ask me to join them, OK it's normally we both have found through talking we like each other to go have some sexual fun.
I'm very talkative and because I am a European tourism guided and Alaska guide I have so much I can chat about with anyone .
I've had some of the greatest fun with couples where the wife likes to have 3 somes and have another man other than her husband for her sexual play .
PART 1 OF 3:
MY OPINION AS A SINGLE MALE / EVENT COORDINATOR IN THE LS AS TO WHY THE MAJORITY SINGLE MEN ARE NOT WELCOMED NOR WANTED AT LS FUNCTIONS.
am a single male who has been in the LS for 4 1/2 years. These past two years I have to Coordinate , invite , plan and host LS events with the majority of attendees being couples who I have come to know well. The parties range from 7 people - 40 people. The only single men I invite are heavily vetted, well known, monitored in chat rooms and have become decent friends. At first all the couples wanted to know who the single males would be. Not at parties had single males, yet there were always 2 or 3 wives or single women who would want 2 to 4 guys at 1 time. It would sometimes turn into organizing 3 different and separate GBs for 3 different women at the same party. This made it difficult because I'd start running out of the best guys possible and would have to search outside my network.
This area right here is why I believe single men are not welcomed? It's not that single men are not welcomed, its that unknown, single strangers are Divine NEVER WELCOMED to a party that i would host. They all have the same agenda and attitude and start off with disrespect and violate boundaries from the start. I would post an ad looking for single men and would highlight, capitalize, punctuate a specific to how they were to respond to me . I also would say that if this guideline is not followed to the Definitely then they would be automatically exempt from any party ever. I would explain that if they are not able to follow a simple request online, then what makes me feel that my friends would be safe when they are told "No".
This right here, weeded out the lazy ones who just think it takes no effort to get attention and some action, then I'd the guys that would message me, "Yo, I got you on this, you need a hand docking those sluts down, just give me the address and I'll do you a solid favor this time". Oof???
Then you get the guy who's a total stud , follows everything and then adds more. You chat with him, he's, respectful , charming, patient and on point. You actually think you may even have a new buddy.
Yeah... he usually goes silent day prior or day of or calls you up an hour after party starts and tells you he cant go through with it because he has a girlfriend and would feel incredibly guilty.
All this and other guys flaking or showing up late. Its unbelievable. I once have 7 beautiful women 4 with their husbands show up to a party 20 mins early and the 10 single guys who were supposed to come, only 2 showed. 2 and a half hours late. 1 of the two wanted to get started right away with a GB , he fucked for 15 mins then bailed. The other guy he's still an awesome friend but doesn't do the party thing anymore. I ended up having to call the guys that I knew and had them 7 guys on there way and the party ended up being a great success.
The point is single men will say and and do anything at the opportunity to be welcomed into the "Elite" cool kid club. Yet, as one said earlier in this forum that the are their own worst enemies and usually blow it.
I believe a big reason I most likely have great success with couples in the LS is that i not 1 of the 95% who immediately sends an unsolicited dick pic, 1 of the 2.5% who goes Nutzo when rejected( I actually use rejection for my advantage and it works every time ), or the 1.5% who get possessive and weird with the situation. So basically I'm the 1-1.5% who wins by default just because I'm usually simply polite and not pushy
PART 2 OF 3:
I've had to call single men out in public chat groups or forums when they've overstepped their boundaries. I've had guys threaten me for telling them that I was not happy with their behavior and actions and had to kick them out of the groups, parties, etc.
These parties that host , I rarely play, I'm constantly monitoring everyone and everything.
I am more picky than the couples and its come to the point where they don't even worry about the guys I invite because my boot camp like vetting and screening has already been done.
Unfortunately at my last party I got I'll and wasn't able to Moderate and went to room the sleep. Well, one of the guys who I invited, who happened to be a small event Coordinator was asked to watch over everything and everyone. Somewhere he was asked to invite some more people. I guess 5 more guys showed and 1 ended up forcing himself onto one of the younger ladies their who was 22 and her first LS party with her BF who I've known for a year. I happened to hear about this and... let's just say that I am happy that guy was incredibly fast because I wanted to hurt him. He ended up running into a heavily two way 6 lane main street with cars going 45 mph. Caused an accident and almost was smashed between to head on cars.
All that. Poor young girl ( wasn't hurt or nothing serious happened) will most likely never go to a party again, two innocent people totaled their cars, and I most likely have a negative mark on my reputation because of what went down.
SO NO NO NO NO HELL NO. NO RANDOM SINGLE MEN EVER.
Best advice if you're a host or Event Coordinator
Is to start working on intervening , scouting, go by references from other couples and individuals who you can trust to vouche for these guys and put them through a number of test. Tell them it's a process and once they are in. THEY ARE PART OF THE CIRCLE, they will have first invites if and when a party should be open to single males and they would also have a whole new network of individuals and couples they can interact with.
It's also important to completely put those who violate and consent, have any deliberate infraction, do anything that's of bad form on a blacklist , red flag then and spread the word.
My belief is that these guys are misbehaving because they get away with it and are invited back to other parties. Because they have a huge cock or always show or are nice most of the time, just make mistakes every once in a while
PART 3 OF 3:
I am sorry but not sorry. These women , and other men who come to a party host or who happen to be a part of my network and if any safety or discomfort comes to any of us, even myself. They are banned indefinitely and I spread the word. If they come up in the future, which they do... all the time, I let those who are involved with them know plus have proof on my phone or incidents and testimonies from at least 3 other people to back up my claim so they will take it seriously and block the Predator.
These guys are not mistake making fools. They are Narcissistic and use this as a playground to create harm. That's it. The reason why they do is obvious but mostly its because we aren't doing anything about it.
I think it would be a great idea if these sites would implement an alert on people with an anonymous email to the admin then the admin has a choice to put up a red flag on the users profile or just ban them from the site.
Hopefully everything I wrote out was coherent enough and didn't have too many spelling errors and grammar mistakes. I want to get this message out while I still have the time and don't have time to proof read and edit. It's the point and the message that really matters. Hope this answers the OPs question as clear as possible with a practical and logical explanation.
joseph11sr11 one would hope someone trying to take pictures unless it was agreed upon up front would be a big problem. That kind of behavior ends with the offender being tossed out rather abruptly in our experience.
single men are welcomed at the parties i go to,bi,gangbangs,we have very few problems,just the usual man trying to take pictures but they keep that to a minimum
The problem is in order to do it right those single males have to be properly vetted. Sadly in the "single male" category you have a lot that are simply not single. Then you get to those that are idiots and jackasses. That leaves a minority that are respectful and decent enough to invite. While this is true across the swinging community with all categories it is far more disproportionate in the single male category. Someone hosting a party (especially at a club) wants everything to go as smoothly as possible with minimal to no disruptions and in reality does not have the time to properly vet each and every single male who wants to attend. In fact let the wrong one or two attend and word spreads then no one wants to attend your club or party. Thus it becomes easier to simply not allow them to reduce (note I said reduce) problems. We have attended parties where they were open to everyone, only allowed select single males, and only allow single females and couples. Out of all of them we prefer the only couples or those with a low number of "select" single males even though we are open to the right single males.
Now to address Sliderightin saying he has never seen any single male overstepping boundaries I have to say that would be because you were not paying attention to them. As a couple we have seen our share of everyone overstepping boundaries or causing drama because we are focused on meeting couples, females, and yes single males so we look at everyone not just the women like a single male would. I could tell countless stories of band behaviors including a fight between two women because one's husband accepted a BJ while this wife was in the bathroom. That said we are talking specifically single males. At one party a single male came in and immediately started stripping yelling loudly "who is ready to FUCK!" or words to that effect. He was put into his place and then later on after doing something similar asked to leave. We have seen single men get outraged to the point of physical violence when a wife a husband stepped in after the wife told them no and they kept trying to push themselves into the play. We have seen two single men get jealous over a married woman who at different times had played with both as if they had an exclusive claim on her as she was talking to another single male. While I could go on this last example brings it all together and shows why single men are for the most part unwelcome at parties and clubs due to the eventual outcome of the organizers simply allowing anyone to attend. At one monthly bar takeover party a woman flashed her tits. Then she got groped by 4 aggressive single men without permission. It upset her so much she and her husband left as did some couples who were with them with the original couple never going back. Of course those 4 single males were asked to leave but were back at the next party. After that party most couples and single women quit going. Basically it resulted in the end forever about 4 months after that incident even though they started limiting the number of single males allowed. Of course couples engage in bad behavior as well and it can reduce attendance but we have never heard of a single female's or couple's bad behavior causing something to go "belly up" as it were. Well except that time a couple was told not to attend again and they called the law on the next party but that was back in the 90's when there was a crackdown locally.
Hotluvrs
Well said, my friend. Glad we can have a respectful discourse.
Slider,
You are right. You never said women were selfish; I just read that in the subtext. From your comments and complaints, I imagine that you might view many lifestyle women that way.
I am not a smaart maan, so I was having trouble figuring out what point you were ultimately trying to get across. I’d guess that you really wanted to have single men not be seen as a hinderance to events.
If that really was your main point, then we would be in agreement. It would be awesome if one day in the future, all single men would be seen as respectful, fully contributing members of he swinger community.
Unfortunately, unlike you, I’ve seen plenty of single guys overstepping boundaries. In the past three months alone, I’ve seen bad behavior at Haulover Beach, in the back rooms of Trap, and even at our own house party, where one of the four invited single guys showed up five hours late, and then wanted to crash on our sofa. By the way, two of the single guys never showed up, or called, at all.
In general, single men get the respect, or disrespect, that they earn.
We do actually prefer a party with a few extra guys. The biggest problem are that some of them (especially online) are their own worst enemies and that gets applied to all unfortunately.
FWIW, we HAVE seen SMs at parties over step their bounds. In one case a guy tried to fist a girl that was telling him NO and he cut her inside. Another punched his GF in the face after being verbally abusive. We've seen guys that try to get inside a girl without a condom when they clearly knew condom use was the norm/expectation. I'll admit that it's very rare, but it does happen.
To goodgolly.
but i assure you... a party with zero men involved would be a snoozefest for women."
Er, no. The hottest party I've ever been to had something over 40 women. It was completely off the hook. There were also two men, but they were just there to serve food and drinks and didn't play.
I bet the entire premise of said party was to achieve an all female turnout hence the only two male servers being present. That’s quite different than not having a good turnout of men when they are expected to be in attendance. I’m certain an all male party would be “off the hook” as well if it was designed that way. Fail to see your point.
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Heh. Okay, no, just no. That's just not true. If I took your argument and applied it to pussies, then anything receptive is female. Your mouth is then female, right? I mean if plugs are masculine by nature, then mouths are feminine.
Except it's not true. Penetrative objects, whether they're going in pussies or asses are no more masculine than mouths are feminine. They're just objects, preferably objects that fit and stimulate, but still objects. In addition, masculinity is not confined to men. It's a gender construct and probably way more fluid than the contemporary vie
You just strengthened my point about reciprocity and how sex really works in terms of you highlighting a socket /plug analogy However, there’s an error in your logic; everyone has a mouth and a asshole. How we use them for sexual gratification is a moot point. Men have dicks. Women don’t. This is how the law of nature operates. There is no room for interpretation. A phallic object is rooted in masculinity, while a mouth or an asshole is quite different than a vagina in terms of the natural laws of feminine nature regarding sex. Now, if someone was able to get pregnant thru the anus, you’d have a point.. Ha!
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Also, the existence of a vaginal orgasm is debatable. The structure of the clitoris is not confined to the external button and actually extends internally for quite a ways. It also might include the g-spot. That's not currently known. What is known is that of all women surveyed, only about a quarter report having orgasms during penetrative intercourse. So, it's not like dicks are essential to most of us.
That’s neither here nor there. I’d argue most of that dynamic has to do with physiology, psychology, nutrition etc but the point remains orgasm or not, the clitoris is only for orgasm. How one achieve orgasm varies but again it’s still passive and needs some action upon it to work. Typically something erect or of a phallic nature.
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As far as one of your contentions, once it's stripped of the entitlement and umbrage, I actually agree that a party that doesn't include extra men is a bit of a snoozefest. I mean, if you're going to have men, you might as well have enough of them.
No entitlement. Entitlement is asking for more than one deserves. I’ve never seen a wife asking for an female Gangbang for her deserving husband on SLS.. have you?
Okay, I'm going to have fun with this one.
"but i assure you... a party with zero men involved would be a snoozefest for women."
Er, no. The hottest party I've ever been to had something over 40 women. It was completely off the hook. There were also two men, but they were just there to serve food and drinks and didn't play.
" A dildo, or Any object of a phallic nature is masculine by nature whether it’s an electrical plug on a lamp, plastic dildo, or an actual male sex organ. The shaft is not some obscure object with no real reference to the masculine. It penetrates. Enters. To achieve most vaginal orgasms, this tool, if you will, is necessary."
Heh. Okay, no, just no. That's just not true. If I took your argument and applied it to pussies, then anything receptive is female. Your mouth is then female, right? I mean if plugs are masculine by nature, then mouths are feminine.
Except it's not true. Penetrative objects, whether they're going in pussies or asses are no more masculine than mouths are feminine. They're just objects, preferably objects that fit and stimulate, but still objects. In addition, masculinity is not confined to men. It's a gender construct and probably way more fluid than the contemporary view.
Also, the existence of a vaginal orgasm is debatable. The structure of the clitoris is not confined to the external button and actually extends internally for quite a ways. It also might include the g-spot. That's not currently known. What is known is that of all women surveyed, only about a quarter report having orgasms during penetrative intercourse. So, it's not like dicks are essential to most of us.
As far as one of your contentions, once it's stripped of the entitlement and umbrage, I actually agree that a party that doesn't include extra men is a bit of a snoozefest. I mean, if you're going to have men, you might as well have enough of them.
To hotluvrs
I expect sarcasm when truth enters so sharply. Please refrain from using your words as my own. Never once did i say women were selfish. Moreover, your quip about sausage fest is ironic since most single events are exactly that.
...Sausage fest, because this lifestyle operates from a scarcity mindset, when I’m fact their is no shortage of either sex it’s just the framework that we’ve created. We value single women yet devalue single men once again refusing to accept that sex is an act of reciprocity. A relationship. Btw, men can get off a lot cheaper jerking off at home with less of the humiliation many suffer from in this lifestyle. Hell, they could go to DR, get a hot meal, sex and be respected all on vacation for the cost of a month.s worth of weekend parties..
To rabbit n scamp
You missed the point entirely. A dildo, or Any object of a phallic nature is masculine by nature whether it’s an electrical plug on a lamp, plastic dildo, or an actual male sex organ. The shaft is not some obscure object with no real reference to the masculine. It penetrates. Enters. To achieve most vaginal orgasms, this tool, if you will, is necessary. Even if it’s a finger. Masculine is to do. It requires action. Feminine is passive. It does not require action. I know exact.y what I’m talking about, love.
Slider,
Ok, I’m obviously being sarcastic. I know that you believe what you are saying, but it’s hard to take any of your statementS seriously, you’re just so very wrong. I counted ten inaccuracies in Just the first few sentences before I got bored.
I know, right??!
I wish all of these selfish women would just go away and stop messing up the swinger lifestyle. We would be left with an all male sweet, sweet, non-stop sausage party!
Dood,
You have my support, well, you would have my support, but I’ve got to go peel some grapes for my self absorbed wife.
Good luck finding anyone to agree with you.
Welcome to the party Slider, and the forums.
There are several things that should be addressed in your post but one thing in particular caught my attention.
You said, “ with zero men involved would be a snoozefest for women. Even lesbians, for example, have a prosthetic penis handy which uhhhh, represents a MAN”
You obviously know nothing about lesbians. Lesbians using a dildo on each other is to produce pleasure (utilizing the basic form that evolution created) without being attached to the thing they don’t find attractive, uhhhh, a MAN. They don’t want nor need you to fulfill their sex lives any more than a gay man needs my vagina.
~rabbit~
