When do you consider yourself as Bi?

I would think that bi-sexual is just a term that means you're OK with having sex with either gender. If you have romantic feelings for the opposite sex, that would potentially make you gay. You can be bi-sexual without being gay.

For the purposes of this site, what people are mainly looking for from this sort of classification is whether someone will engange in any sort of sex with you, or not. While it's possible, I suspect most are not looking for or caring about whether you have romantic feelings for someone or not.

So if you are willing to have sex with either gender and aren't listing yourself as Bi because you don't have "romantic feelings" for the opposite sex. it's no biggie, but you are probably missing out on play time opportunities.

Most bi guys don't have romantic feelings towards guys , bi females may tend to have romantic feelings toward women more so...Mary Jo

If you can have the same romantic feelings. That's what makes you bi. My wife can be with a female sexually and not have romantic feelings.

Between this thread and the Glory Hole thread, I got a couple of good - great names for rock bands in the works.

Have to go to a Mardi Gras parade- Orpheus- but I'll be back later after I've let them percolate.

BT

I had a couples profile on here with a former partner. Because he wasn't 100% straight, he listed his orientation as bi-curious and in the text expanded on that by saying he was heteroflexible in the right setting, but wasn't generally interested in m/m play. That seemed to take care of the problem. In a way, it really doesn't matter, since heteroflexible and bi-curious are equally meaningless terms. You're either interested in same and opposite sex play or you aren't. The degree and distribution are individual.

i highly doubt that sls will change the preferences, but stating your preferences in your profile might cut down on any confusion

Since bi-situational includes those that are bi-curious, changing that one word where you set your toggles would be the only change needed. I'll still not be holding my breath for that simple improvement ;-)

Prolly how they came up with String Theory...

BT

I can’t speak on that analogy Travels but I can say;

If that guitar was to strum another guitar they they are guitar flexible at the very least and should respect that many other guitars only want to be strummed by violins and be honest about their musical
Inclinations.

~rabbit~

Two good belly laughs in the last few posts. The idea that the site may actually make a change that the members want and suggesting people actually read profiles.

BWAHAHAHAHA

~Scamp

no one actually reads profiles. they just look at the pics

Wait..... so how about...do away with the Straight/Bi part of the profile and ...... now get this everyone READS the actual profile....sounds crazy I know imagine people having to write a discrptive profile of what they want and looking for..... and Then others actually READING what you wrote..... Yep call me crazy but I have a feeling that it could work

Yes. I will call myself bi-situational. That likely sums it up the best.

Bi-situational is a good one. while i occasionally like to play with women, the situation, and attraction has to be there for me

"Curious" is a very limited and specific word. Once you know, you're no longer curious. Bi-situational wouldn't be a bad option either because it doesn't imply that you're looking for it and sounds more user friendly than say, bi-tolerant. Heteroflexible could also be good, but I'll not be holding my breath to see any of these actually implemented ;-)

To reiterate a point someone made in another thread, we would like to see the “bi-curious” option renamed “heteroflexible”

Mayhem said... I and others have wondered why a guy that will engage in or allow purposeful M/M contact would not ID as some flavor of Bi.

I will actually agree with you on this point. The problem is that I think that neither of the two choices (bi or bi-curious) properly id's me or quite a few others that we have came in contact with. Both of those choices in my opinion express a desire to engage in mm play. If I were pushed to I'd my flavor of bi activity. I suppose bi-friendly, bi-agreeable, bi-whatever, might come closer. I don't want to send the message that I'm looking for it therefore "straight" seems to be the logical toggle for me.

YES....That is my point..... A lot of narrow minded Straight people think that "Bi=will-fuck-anything-same-sex" and I think there are some Bi people that might not reach out to a straight couple thinking they have that fear. We have meet and played with couples where the women said she was Bi but it was not a deal breaker that my wife wasn't and there was no problems.

And I also agree with "screw the profile at some point and just get out there and meet people ;-)"

We know there are a LOT of REAL couples out there, we have been to many meet N greets and a few hotel take overs. Our own problem is that we can be a little on the shy side until thing heat up. Also my wife's standards are a bit unrealistic. She keeps looking for Matthew Mcconaughey and Richard Gere types which tend to be our biggest problem.....LOL....

But this it is just one of those things that tweak me a bit when I see some topics regarding or judging someones sexuality just by label and not by asking what their real intent is.... Too many straight people blowing things out of proportion.

Don't Judge a book by it's cover...

And Zac, a bi woman saying “ there has to be an attraction” is the exact same thing as you needing to be attracted to whomever you are going to have sex with.

I’m sick of people thinking Bi=will-fuck-anything-same-sex

It doesn’t. Being Bi simply means I am receptive to having sex with people of my gender BUT the laws of attraction still stand. I have no interest in a woman that doesn’t turn me on.

~rabbit~

@zak, I and others have wondered why a guy that will engage in or allow purposeful M/M contact would not ID as some flavor of Bi. The purpose for the label is to help people find what they're looking for. It is simply a means to an end, and is in the context of what does that best for that person's profile.

A better approach may be to screw the profile at some point and just get out there and meet people ;-)

For what an opinion is worth around here the little profile should just be - Him/Her, Age, and maybe Playing/Not Playing. Put your sexual preferences in the proper contexts in your profile.
Under right circumstances...Wife likes kissing girls and titty play that's it, or male likes to suck cock nothing else, we are both open to sexually explore because putting Straight or Bi does not give good definition as to really what one is looking for. We have seen many women list themselves as Bi but when talking to them "oh there still has to be an attraction or If I am in the right mood".
You could have a great playtime with a Bi couple without any bi play or vise a versa but because so many will just judge at the first glance of the Bi/Straight label 2 couples could be missing out because of poor knowledge of what each person is really into.

Pretty sure almost all Bi guys do not have the same feelings for men as they would towards a women. Bi guys are into some degree of sexual activity with guys but no interest in a romantic way ie. dating, marriage,LTR with them as a gay guy would.

Bisexual can also mean sexual behavior towards both sexes (Wikipedia). A guy that likes women and will do M/M oral fits that definition.

I started this thread wondering why a guy that will willingly involve himself in M/M oral play would set their toggle to Straight. The answer that 2OD helped provide is that is what serves them best to get them what they want. That is the point of this whole website.

In 2ODs case he's not looking for M/M play and posting as Bi would make it look like he was. While there are other ways one can set profiles and such, it at least makes more sense to me now why toggles get set a certain way.

bisexual by definition of the Urban Dictionary:
Someone who is in all ways attracted to both guys and girls. It is not because they are sex fanatics, or simply can't decide. Being bisexual is not a phase from people who haven't fully come out yet. It is as real as being straight or gay. You might have a preference over one sex, but bisexual means you can be attracted to both genders sexually, physically, and emotionally. In other words, you are fully capable of FALLING IN LOVE with them, just as a woman would fall in love with a man. It's not a circus freak thing.

So first....what definition of Bisexual is everyone going by?
Second... I am CURIOUS how many people that claim they are Bisexual can emotionally fall in Love and live with someone of the same sex?
Third....technically Bi-curious would mean that you have NOT had any experience with one of the same sex yet but will consider it.

Gee I guess the only option to clarify things would be for those posting a profile be descriptive & direct...and those looking at profile READ them and not just look at the pictures. Otherwise the argument of who is being deceptive or lying will never end.

The Narrow minded and the desperate shall never find common ground because the humble will have taken over.

2OD: What you do "give a shit about" is having lots of opportunities to play. That's pretty clear from your profile. You love to play, like us, and you put even less rules and bound on it than we do. In theory, that opens the door for even more opportunity.

A lot of couples with Bi guys will seek out other couples with Bi guys, and as we all know, some may never even get past the pictures and the toggles is all. The reason I said "in theory" above though is because there are couples with Straight guys that won't play with a couple that lists a Bi guy. We are not one of those couples, but we know they exist. In that case, changing your toggles would be a wash.

That said, if things are happening out your way like they are in ours, none of this matters. I have definitely noticed a BIG uptake in opportunity lately, at least in our neck of the woods. I suspect some of that may be due to it being the dead of winter, but we literally have plans to play Thur, Fri, Sat, and Sun this weekend and it's been kind of like this for about the last month . It's just crazy lately, not that we're complaining. Hope you are as fortunate.