Red flag Couples

This issue is such a double edged sword for us. On one hand, we are very firm in our principles that we will not out others or share their business because we want the same consideration given to us. On the other hand, we've met more than our fair share of "red flag couples" and it would be incredibly useful to not have to meet any more of them. We'd love to warn new lifestyle friends of experiences with certain people and we'd also love if we were able to be forewarned about others. But since we won't kiss and tell, we refuse to ask others to do the same. We can't find any way to reconcile both sides of the coin with our conscience.

Red Flags ?
there are almost to many to list. Also by listing them the more clueless on
here might become hep and becomes harder to detect so we will leave it at that.

Hotwife - So sounds like you're saying people that engage in intense converations here woud be red flag couples ;-) I would actually agree with that. When you step back and think about it, there are few (if any) things that people say here to really get riled up about, because it makes no difference in your life, unless you let it. It happens to the best of us in the heat of the moment though, but when that passes, one would hope cooler heads would prevail versus fanning the burning embers to get mare flames.

It's exactly why I block people that come to the forums with the intent of fanning the fires they light, simply to see something burn. If it were a forum person in my area doing that, I would also avoid them in person if I knew who they were.

Where we have some largish parties, I'd be afraid that someone that behaves like that here would do that in person, and the last thing the host of ANY party wants is that kind of conflict at a party.

Once upon a time, I allowed myself to be drawn into an intense discussion with someone on the forum. In hindsight, I should have known better. When my posts apparently bruised the ego of the other party involved, they resorted to sending me private messages threatening to stalk and harass me at the swingers’ club where we’re members. I found it to be childish at best, but if they want to buy a membership then waste the cost of entry to come to our favorite establishment only to get kicked out and banned forever, that’s on them. I’m not at all worried about it, but it does illustrate that in all walks of life (this lifestyle being no exception) there are people who lack the necessary temperament for handling situations gracefully.

We're numbers of a family friendly nudist resort, and there are quite a few swingers who live and visit there. We know to behave even when dancing nude in the bar, but they don't suggest that couples aren't allowed to show any vanilla-level affection. Making out: no. Kissing: yes, but only with our mouths!

Also, we know how to be discreet. If we discover the flirting with another couple was just in fun, we simply pull back and carry on like we aren't interested and act like nothing happened. We try to keep it from being awkward, and the only time people are reported is when they pay too much attention to the kids, or stay jacking of in the sauna while another member has her eyes closed, NOT consenting.

Asking for a date isn't considered bad behavior.

I mean that if management had come to me, I would have laughed at them.

funloving - The lifestyle is a much smaller world than people realize. Word WILL get around about that couple. Maybe not to everyone all at once, but if that sort of behavior is typical of them, they will find it more and more difficult to get dates and will eventually have very limited play options, if any.

We realize that not everyone will be everyone's cup of tea. It doesn't stop us from having a good time otherwise, meaning pleasant conversation, maybe play some cards or other vanilla activities. Sometimes people will start off as a No and open up to someone. We've seen that work for us and for others, but doing what that couple did will obviously kill any chance of that happening.

Sucks that it happened, but is all part of the learning experience.

BTW the AANR people can get prickly about swingers.

The first time we went to a vanilla naturist camp the management saw fit to stop by our table and give us the lecture about any PDA's being grounds for getting kicked out. Good Lord we'd been married for 35 years at that point and there were children there so we were on our best behavior and had not come with anyone!

We did break the rules though. We held hands while sitting in the sun. :)

"this became an exchange with hotel management, just because an asshole couple doesn't know how to accept a rejection with grace."

Sounds like that sums it up pretty concisely.

It is absolutely nobody's business what consenting adults discuss or do. I am confused how this became an exchange with hotel management, just because an asshole couple doesn't know how to accept a rejection with grace.

Word does get around... just let subtle hints out to those who "visit and travel" to Florida frequently.. we too have many swinger friends!

Or Im those who will.. we assure you "we" have no problem calling out these "attention setters" holier than thou!

Paybacks are a B... right!

We first starting talking to this couple here on SLS, We meet them at our camp site at an AANR clothing optional resort in California. We are not sure she knew what was going on. Two sips off my glass of wine, looked at Lisa, We have our signals for yes or no, both of us were signaling Hell NO. We made some reason to end the meeting quickly.

The couple went to resort management and told them we where swingers and trying to get dates on the resort. We did not deny we were swingers, but explained we played by the rules, it created us many issues, we ended up closing our membership to this club.

Due to other issues, work etc, we moved to Florida. We live at a Clothing Optional Life Style Friendly Resort. Guess who is posting in Hot Dates that will be visiting this resort next week?

Of course we have told friends to avoid this couple , what else can we do?