playing separately

@Someone

That is pretty cool. The only difference for us is that neither is interested in anything more than an exchange of bodily fluids. She doesn't want to spend a weekend with a guy, nor do I with a woman.

Much like you, in our over 20 years of doing this, we have had ONE bad experience and a few weird ones.

Your advice to new couples is good. Ours is similar but different. We tell them that if you are not turned on by your spouse fucking someone else, exit, stage left NOW.

There are a few guys that can make my wife cum much differently than with me. I think it's awesome. They have their 'skillz' and it works! I encourage to see them when she wants. Fuck, one guy will lick her pussy for THREE hours. I ain't doing that. There are a few women that just make me lose it and she knows it. There is insane chemistry. When we first started she felt threatened that I would leave her for a single female that we knew. It took a lot of talking to her by me and the single female for her to ->start<- to believe we were not interested in a relationship. Now, 15 years later, she realizes that we were right, there was no way.

Reading is fundamental idiot.

Erotic so explain how you had sex with seven women during one time period? One for each day of the week and Sundays for a threesome with your wife?
The one for each day of the week is straight out of the playboy forums and the fantasy of every teenage boy.

Tramp . . .

Basically yes. For me it started about 4 or 5 years ago, she had opportunities but didn't take them up for a year or so after I did.

It is not the most common of our playstyle, but something we do on occasion. We know one couple that exclusively play solo. That is not us.

OK, short answer: you guys have played separately and/or been open to separate play for the last four years (give or take)

Damn...I'm exhausted. ;^D

Rabitt and one more thing . . .

Yes I understand the confusion and I read what I wrote again.

"we have not played separately since 2002." That can be construed two different ways. One that we played separately before 2002 and the other that we have not played that way starting in 2002. I think the context of the other post would have clarified it. But alas, I should have used a different phrase to remove any possibility of confusion.

Raibbt

Yes, I understand your confusion. I was going strictly off the very first post. That is why when you put that quote, I read what I wrote over and over and said to myself, I never said that in there. Then in my response to numbnuts, I fucked up in the typing :)

EA, I am sure this makes perfect sense in your head since you lived it but here are two direct quotes from posts in this thread.

“We have not played separately since 2002”

“Technically, I think I was the first to play solo while she was out of town with a couple we know well and that was somewhere in the 2012 to 2014 range.”

Do you understand our confusion?

~S~

Ok, perhaps this is my brevity in my comment that is causing the misunderstanding. So let me try it in a bullet point style.

1. Event happened in mid 2002.
2. Topic was playing separate.
3. I wrote, "We have been in lifestyle 20 years . . ." This established how long we have been in the lifestyle, using math that puts us starting in 1998. The reality is we started in late 1995. I have a good marker to know when we started. Our discussion to go to a club was the weekend Clueless opened and we went about 6 weeks later.
4. In that same sentence, I wrote, "It took us a LONG time to get this comfortable." Long was not caps locked. That established that we didn't start this way and it took a LONG time before we did this. In other words, we progressed through our ruleset over time to get where we are today. You know, like everyone else in the lifestyle. Yes, everyone :) We had our period of soft swap only. We had our period of not young enough to be our kids, old enough to be our parents. We had our period of having to be in the same bed. We had our period of having to be in the same room. We had our period of condoms only. We had our period of separate rooms. We got to the point where what our profile states our preferences are.

So now to answer Scamp directly - Yes, our post does infer that currently, we can play alone and do on occasion. You are going inverse in time. We didn't start that way, we are that way now. When did this happen? Technically, I think I was the first to play solo while she was out of town with a couple we know well and that was somewhere in the 2012 to 2014 range.

And hopefully, that answer helped Tramp as well. Here is a timeline to follow on what our rules were, not absolutely accurate, but illustrative.
1995 - 1997 - soft swap only
1998 - 2000 - condom, same bed
2000-2003 - condom, same room
2004 - 2006 - condom, separate room
2007 - 2012(?) - condom rarely, separate room
2012(?) - condom rarely, solo

Erotic, you'll get no argument from me where Nutcal is concerned.

I am well aware of the rude comment that he made regarding your wife, as well as the equally inexcusable comment that you made regarding his wife. But all of that aside...

Can you clear this confusion that I have by clarifying how you can be presently playing separately with "seven or so" women while your wife is presently doing the same with five men...since neither of you have played separately since 2002?

If you simply misspoke, then fine. If I'm not doing the math correctly, then fine. I'm just curious.

Well, in the interest of full disclosure, I'm a little more than just curious, but I'll come back to that after your answer.

We all agree that nutcal is an absolute idiot but your post clearly infers that you currently play alone.

"There are about 7 or so women that I do this with, some married, some single. There are about 5 guys that she sees. It works for us. Recently she suggested that I spend the weekend with a woman and I told her not my thing." If you are now saying you haven't played alone in years, how do you define "recently"?

We blocked nutcal months ago so I can't see what he posted but to Tramp's point, your original post is at odds with your follow up explanation.

~S~

Tramp, if you read the post, I specifically state, "We have been in the lifestyle for over 20 years and it took us a long time to get this comfortable." That implies we haven't been doing this for over 20 years and you could easily infer that it is not even a majority. Norcal is trying to remember shit. I have stated that it was in 2002 at Miami Velvet when this occurred. So, doing math, which I assumed he could and man am I wrong in that assumption, 2018-20 = 1998, 2002-1998 is four years. That is way too quick in the 20 year timeframe, that is not a long time.

Regardless, he is just a fucking idiot troll who has the iq that barely registers on a scale. He can't type. He can't do math. He can't spell. He can't think for himself. In other words, he is what he fears the most. A drain on society, but he is too stupid to see it.

In case you are wondering why I am writing that . . . he crossed the line and made comments about my wife. She is not here to defend herself and for that . . . he can go fucking jump in front of a train for all I care.

I'm gonna take that as a no. ;^/

LOL Tramp just talking about reality from experience. Thirty years of an open marriage gives one such experiences.

Nutcal, for once would you kindly STFU and let the grown people talk?

It is virtually impossible for a man to be having sex with seven women and his wife. Just trying to juggle the time between all of these women makes it impossible.
My wife has had five men that she would see once a year or so when she was in that part of the country that they where in. Even this took way to much time and energy. One guy was in England, One in Chicago and so on. Way to much energy.

I tried three women once and one was my wife. That was hard to do. Even one girlfriend and my wife got time consuming. and she would come by for sex during her lunch break every day.

In all fairness, Erotic, your last reply to Nutcal seems to be very much at odds with your earlier post.

In the first post of the two, you use the present tense to speak of the seven women you play seperately with as well as the men your wife plays separately with.

However, I understand your last post to say that neither of you have played separately for the last sixteen years.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding that.

NCAL

You stupid fucking idiot.

Learn to read moron.

That happened in 2002. We have not played separately since 2002. But again English is sooooooooooo hard for you to understand.

How can that be Erotic when you claim your wife never had sex with another man without you there. You claim to have gotten Gonorrhea while using a condom doing full swap with another couple. You still claim it was because of the condom because your wife never had sex with another man without you there.

Get your stories straight.

We both play separately as well as together. Most of the time it is with others. We have been in the lifestyle for over 20 years and it took us a long time to get this comfortable. For us it's simple, we can setup anything we want and we do not have to tell the other beforehand, just make sure we tell each other after the fact. There are about 7 or so women that I do this with, some married, some single. There are about 5 guys that she sees. It works for us. Recently she suggested that I spend the weekend with a woman and I told her not my thing. I am happy to go visit and spend the night in a hotel, but for a whole weekend . . . nah. The closest we have done to that is a friend had a party that we were going to for the weekend. My wife got really sick the day before. She suggested I go, and I was unsure. This was 200 miles away. She called the host wife and asked if it was OK if I go and she said yes. So I went on Friday and had fun Friday night, Saturday and Saturday night and Sunday morning before I drove back. My wife enjoyed that I was having fun and it turned her on.

She likes hearing the stories about what I did and she knows that I love hearing her stories. We have been known to send 'action' pictures of what transpired.

We realize what works for us, may not for others. Do what you feel comfortable doing.

I never, ever play with anyone without my husband right there.

He doesn't play and he isn't one of those people who gets off on watching ... he looks out for me. It could be big safety/psycho issues, or just making sure that the guy behind me doesn't slip the condom off.

We feel the same, Nefarious.

And BTW, your SF profile is very well done in my view. Lady and I have single profiles as well, but I've just recently started trying to update it a bit and get the narrative to make some sense.

I really liked the way yours read. It just made a lot of sense to me. I hope that you won't mind if we borrow some of your ideas. Not specifics, but just the way you sort of laid everything out. Tons of good info without even a hint of negativity in my mind.

Tramp

If it's a couple we know, it's fun to do same and separate room stuff. Last night a cute blond blew my hubby when he was driving all 4 of us to a club. I love that kind of stuff! But I want my SM time, too. And that's me alone with the guy. I don't need an audience.

We seldom play separately but neither of us have a problem with going alone. However we totally agree that it is more fun for us to play with her boyfriend. Just works out for us. We have no problem with playing with couples when that opportunity comes along. Every couple should find that right situation that works best for them.

It's amusing as hell to watch someone hang a carrot out in from of their own face from a long stick, and then spend the rest of their days grabbing for it.

Tramp