Outed

So sorry that this has happened to you all! Have known a few who have had issues with this. The first only put up pictures on their LS profiles that were the same or similar to what they had on vanilla social media. They confronted the people and asked them if they had also had someone copy their pictures to catfish someone. The second offered to partially disrobe to see if they matched the pictures they were perving over. That's good if indeed it is the internet that is the culprit, and most likely it is some cheating guy in the office who is the source of the rumors. It could also be someone who is upset that you all politely said "no" too. However, if your neighbors suspect something or maybe someone has seen you all in public chatting with someone. It will be much harder to track down. Hope that you all can get around this and get to the bottom of things. Good luck.

I have followed your posts for a few years. Not sure what happened. Truthfully you suffer from what many of the serial posters on this site suffer from. You seem to enjoy putting everybody down. You might want to chill out some. However. You will no doubt twist what I say to fill your need to use criticism. Wish you well

Over and out..

Like we said.. its on them and its NOT their business ! Reason for YOUR breakup.. sorry not buying that either you had a weak relationship and communication with spouse.. if it was strong, solid, it world survive any and all that comes your way.

But you do what you feel safe doing.. its your journey and life !

Might work for you. In our case (former) the outing caused my partner to become vilified by family and shunned by a few friends. Ultimately it was a main reason for our breakup. I chose to be exceptionally careful in my current postings

Thank anyway

Yeah okay.. if you are that afraid to live your life.. swinger, Bi, whatever then its on YOU!

Its no ones business what you or we do in our bed... or is it your coworkers, vanilla friends, anyone.. problem is some just cower down to those making the noise! Yes we have told numerous people mind your own business.. what are you jealous !

Yet so many on this site ridicule those that keep photos private. I find that often when responding to an add pics are asked for by others then they ghost w/o reciprocating. Often times rumors spread throughout a vanilla social group because posted photos were spread.

Be very careful, very careful indeed

Thanks for all the responses. I normally don’t like to complain in public, but this whole situation is so frustrating to me.

My wife is taking it fairly well, other than being ready to cut someone’s balls off.

I agree with going to HR, and also to deny everything

You say that you don't know the origin of the rumors.
You seem to think your profile is the origin.
It is just as likely someone is trying to undermine your wife and that the rumor being true is just by chance.

The suggestion about going to HR is a good one.
Do that and otherwise keep your mouth shut except to answer a direct query and then just call bullshit and shrug it off muttering something about morons.

Do not protest overmuch.. That only lends credibility to the rumor.

Report the incident to her HR department of for sexual harassment! That should shut down that rumors. If they have proof they are in the same boat!

Report the incident to her HR department of for sexual harassment! That should shut down that rumors. If they have proof they are in the same boat!

Yes deny it and warn them about spreading rumors, esp. co workers, they can be fired...

Sorry to hear this.
Well, like Shaggy said in his song - "It wasn't Me".
Button down the hatches (like the pictures and the location) and Just deny it.

Oh wow ... sorry to hear. We unfortunately don't have any experience with this, so we are unable to offer experience-based advice.

What did she say to the person who asked her?

You don't have any face pics in your profile, although the one pic shows the bottom half of your wife's face. I know sometimes people think that is safe, but I have seen profiles on here or even posts on CL (when it was a thing) or on Doublelist, posted by LS friends, when the couples faces were partially blocked out, but some of it was showing and between the partial face and body size/shape etc, I could tell who it was.

You see all the time in profiles that people say "Dont say you dont have face pics posted openly here because of your work, well if somebody sees you, well they are on here too" ... this can still backfire ... there can always be that person who is also on here who finds a profile, but doesnt like the person so they use it against them ... maybe something like this happened. ... Maybe you opened pics to somebody once and it turned out to be somebody at her office and they dont like your wife so they decided to use it against you ... who knows ...

Anyways, Good luck ... hope it settles down for her and she can still climb the ladder.

Think that would be a good idea to pause things and let things settle down if possible..Hope your wife can still climb the ladder...

Grrr…

I got a call from my wife yesterday saying that a friend of hers at work approached her and told her there is a rumor going around that we are swingers. We have no idea where or how the rumors started.

For us, this is horrible news. My wife works in an office and has ambitions of moving up the management ladder. Being outed puts any career progression in serious doubt, and in this provincial minded town could even lead to loss of employment. She’s worked so hard to get to where she is, I’ll be pissed if all that is in jeopardy.

Additionally, in her male dominated field having a reputation of being a loose woman is bound to attract a lot of unwanted attention and advances. Unfortunately, doubles standards are still a thing.

I’m seriously considering taking down our profiles for a while.

Has anyone had to deal with a situation like this?