Lol red flag ahead

I specify right in our profile that the male half does 100% of the online interaction. People tend to draw a blank on what to put in the Additional Comments section of their profile. This is probably not a bad thing.

It's also clear at times when SMs reach out and assume they're chatting with the Mrs that they haven't bothered to read a profile.

One thing that isn't a red flag, but kind of a hot button for me is when you see these guys that try to leverage being in the service to getting special consideration. One case of that was a guy showing up at a Halloween party in his fatigues and expecting girls to "thank him" for his service. All I could think was that it's kind of an insult to the uniform to treat it as "a costume".

Had an SM reach out a couple days ago and make it known that he was in the service. Unfortunately he also unknowingly made it known that he hadn't bothered to read the profile because he assumed he was chatting with the Mrs, among other common mistakes.

RM: I've noted the assumption that the initial contact from couples is the husband, so when I send a message I make it clear that I'm the wife. Hubby is straight (for real!) and I want to make sure whoever I message knows that it's not a "straight" guy hitting up a couple for bi stuff.

If you've seen my posts before, it's probably pretty obvious I'm a woman. I show Hubby the profile and pix of who I want to contact for his approval, but I handle our business and social stuff must of the time anyway. It's an anomaly here that I'm well aware of. NOW. At first it didn't occur to me how many women were either not in charge or not involved at all. Wow! This lifestyle requires so much more trust that it boggles my mind people would try to sneak in.

But there are shit people everywhere and SLS is no exception. Bummer

Before I say this I am not meaning to offend because when I say assume I mean until further investigation proves that assumption wrong. As often as not though the assumption is correct.

#1 Always assume that a "single" male contacting you is cheating. Now there are many single males who are actually single however it is easier to assume they are not and gear your conversation to determine that is wrong.

#2 Always assume all contacts from a couple are sent by a male either with or without the woman's knowledge or even there being a woman. Now this is a mostly true assumption however it makes it easier to determine if there is indeed a woman involved. Note I said involved not that she simply exists.

#3 Always assume that there is a high potential the man contacting you (single or part of a couple) is bi. Now this does not mean they are but far too often that "fact" is hidden. Sooner or later as a straight man you will run into the guy who is "straight" but likes to suck cock or does not care who sucks his cock. The problem with this (and thankfully it has not happened to me but I have seen it happen to others as well as have been told about it) is when suddenly without warning he bends over to suck your cock and his desire to do so was never mentioned. BTW you can replace suck cock with jacking off or even other things. BTW there is nothing wrong with you wanting to suck cock just be upfront about it versus hide it and especially sneak attack.

BTW As I said these assumptions are as true as often as they are not true but by making them it does remove any potential surprises or shock when you find out they are true. Also they are far easier to prove them wrong than if you assume the opposite and try to find out if you are right.

Most bi men are quite manly, esp. bi curious men...Mary Jo

We don't bother when red flags are checked like that. It's almost always a block, unless we are tracking them because they change up their game. A local guy, whos and admitted cheater steeping out started a group on here for Daytime Playtime (almost ALWAYS a red flag) and send us an invite. I guess one can respect he's upfront that he's cheating on his wife, but to expect a couple to schedule around your infidelity? No thanks!

LOL we see that a lot. I am not attracted to feminine men. When we meet people, I can usually get a feeling pretty quickly if the guy is in fact bi but the profile says they are straight. To date there has yet not been a single profile where I suspected the male half was indeed bi despite labeling themselves as straight, and then at some point we notice that they now have changed their profile to bi. A bunch of times they flip back and forth. I just find it amusing. It's unfortunate that we encounter so many people who are willing to just say whatever they think you want to hear so they can find success.

DB, I also like using kik because I don't use the SLS app, and I get notifications right away.

We've also created group messages that include all parties, so we know who we're actually chatting with. Yes, that CAN be faked, but there are usually differences in how people "talk": grammar, attitude, etc.

"What does it mean when they want to chat on the kik app? I got contacted by 2 new users who are almost adamant we chat on kik and share pictures. What's your take? Normal or red flag?"

For some, and maybe even many, it's because kik is much more reliable than SLS messaging. Also, you can send pictures other than just what's in your SLS album.

For us, not that anyone asked, our biggest pet peeve, is the picture requests. Almost all of our pics are open to view, and a couple dozen at that. While we hide our faces a bit, anyone is able to draw a pretty fair image of us. We keep 4 pics in our privates, which are only G-rated uncensored face pics, that we share when we actually get chatting and planning a meet. The peeve kicks in, when we get a message asking us to share our private pics, then upon checking their profile, the requester has two or three severely cropped, filtered, or other abstract type photos, and usually only the female of the couple. Of course they're hoping to see the "nasty stuff", but the jokes on them. A close "Second place" comes from receiving a messages from "Single" guys, who have a hidden profile picture. Definitely a red flag for us. While someone may recognize us by our covered faces in our profile, at least we needn't worry about a spouse or girlfriend recognizing us, because our profile picture is wearing the shirt they bought us for Christmas.

"What does it mean when they want to chat on the kik app?"

There's no standard reason. If I'm going to actually meet someone for coffee, I ask to switch to Kik. If not, I generally just stay on SLS, because I'm faster with a keyboard than my phone.

If you have enough photos on your profile, I'm going to assume the invitation to go elsewhere means they are pic collectors - and by "they" I mean he is - and for me that's a red flag.

What does it mean when they want to chat on the kik app? I got contacted by 2 new users who are almost adamant we chat on kik and share pictures. What's your take? Normal or red flag?

Oh yes.. the list is endless with these fakes.. flakes and profile changers. We too have noticed same red flags and have been burned in the first year with some who never showed up.. even after obtaining a hotel room ... amazing as we have been swingers a long time well over 20 years and never ... ever had issues as all swingers were had prior to being on SLS, in south Florida were by word of mouth and those connections.. !

Kudos for learning so quickly! Its almost comical with these fakes and flakes!

I wanted to talk about a few red flags I notice here.
We are currently looking for single males to play with us. I have had quite a number of guys with a couples profile contact us. Usually is the same scenerio...
Wife is busy, out of town, having her period and can’t play but the male can and wants to meet.

That’s the first red flag...

Second red flag is no pics in profile, and when I ask they say they can text me some and want a cell number...lol...no

Third is when I ask for the wife to talk to my wife to verify everything is on up and up, never happens...

These have been my main red flags.... but just had a new one.

Guy contacts us and his profile is bi curious.
We have nothing against gay or bi men but I am straight and my wife is not attracted to bi men.

So I tell him , sorry but the bi curious is a deal killer and makes it not an option, I was nice and wished him well.

He acknowledged and accepted the rejection gracefully .

I seem same user trying to organize a local cookout meet and notice he has changed his profile to straight.

I messaged him and asked about the profile change and he said he was straight.

On the previous exchange I was very clear about us saying no was because he was bi. He said he understood and was nice about the “no”.

Had he been straight he would have clarified during that conversation ...
“Sorry I clicked the wrong box”... or something to that effect.