Contacting People

Sorillo?...Do we let married guys into the Idiot Village?

If so, I'll vouch for this guy. He's got such a purdy wife...

BT

"...,it takes the village idiots..."

You rang?

Tramp

CFC - to mirror what many have said, treat others as you want to be treated yourself and your experience will be pleasant here.

• The GodFokker

co-Chair, SLS Welcome Committee

PS: whatever NCal states, do the opposite.

Hi CFC and a warm welcome.

You said," there seems to be a lot of fun and interesting people on here and we aren’t sure if we would want a sexual relationship, but would love to befriend." There are some very interesting people on this site so if the spirits move you send an e-mail and say hello. Though I've never met any of them I'm fairly certain I have sent at least one message to each person who has responded to your question. As BT said sometimes a person/couple has a question they would rather ask privately and sometimes they just want to flirt (no, not here).

Enjoy

CFC: Welcome to SLS and the forums.

Friend who you want here and they’ll be none the wiser. We use our friending here as potentials that we can discuss if we are both into extending a introduction in potential to meet; unlike another site we use, friending has to be requested, so we only friend there if we meet and are compatible to go further. If we don’t reach a mutual conclusion here to send en email, we release the “friending” like throwing fish back into the pond.

You are soft swap as well, this further reduces interests of other swingers/lifestyles, however, we know others who are soft swap and have fun hanging out, but when we get an urge, we are leaving with a full swap couple or a single.

Good luck.

~Allen

Hey, I'm not a village idiot. It got down to the final interview with me and one other candidate. I lost out because I showed up.

It takes a village...and speaking for myself, and that other SM in this thread, sometimes, it takes the village idiots...

Happy to help.

There's no one way or right way. You'll figure out what works for you.

BT

Thank you!

Welcome!

You can message anyone who has their profile open to couples. They may or may not respond. A non-response often means that they're not interested, but it could also mean that they haven't read your message, or have, but haven't had time to reply. Feel free to ask questions. Weed through the wise ass comments that might come your way (I'm guilty of that from time to time), and you'll find those nuggets of wisdom...usually.

On the Friends front, you can also click the Friend button on any profile open to you. The other person/couple will have no idea you've done so. So, it isn't a request, like FB. I use the friend button and sometimes, the Notes button (which only you can see, as well) to jot down info, like, "posted in Forums/planning travel to New Orleans - June". Like Ms Molly, my friends list is my Would Like To Do, and Have Done List.

People you've flagged as friends will also show up on the right side of your main/home SLS page when they're on-line. It can often make engaging in an email exchange easier/more fluid.

I also agree with Sorillo's take on etiquette; Everything I needed to know about the LS, I learned in Kindergarten; Be kind, say please and thank you, don't touch anyone's cookie(s) without asking permission, naps are good for you, if you make a mess, clean it up... You get it...

Relax, read the forums (again, cutting through the BS to find the pearls), send intro notes to those who you think might be able to offer you specific advice (should you not wish to bring the question into the forums), and/or those with whom you feel you might be compatible...and have fun.

Good luck,

BT

Great thank you for the advice all!

Hi. Welcome. My contacts on SLS are generally with people I might want to have sex with. I've only sent a few emails generally, and I've never friended anyone here for any reason. For purely social interactions, I attend a meet and greet or two each month. They're held in local restaurants or bars and allow me to meet a lot of people with whom I can have interesting conversations. I've even met a few people with whom I want to get naked, but that's more an unexpected bonus, because I'm really just there to make friends and have fun.

Good question, and one that I wish a lot of folks would consider more often.

I actually feel that you might be over-thinking it a bit. One of the big problems that I see is that a lot of folks tend to think that there's a whole different etiquette in the LS. I'm of the opinion that about 99.9% of LS etiquette is the same as etiquette in the vanilla world. The only difference is that we tend to have more people parked on the mattress when we have wild, monkey sex. Now, keep in mind that my take might be a little skewed, because I'm kind of weird. ;)

I'd recommend simply being polite, open, honest and relentlessly cheerful about what you are looking for. From what you've stated, you're probably not looking for full-swap playmates as of yet. Just be honest about that. It'll limit your choices somewhat, but that's going to happen for every specific requirement you add for your prospects anyway, so don't worry too much about it. Just be aware of the effect going forward.

Best of luck.

Hi Everyone,

We are completely new to this lifestyle and site, like others we are trying to figure out where to start.

My question is, when you are interested in just getting to know people on the site do you message them or request them as a friend?

We found one couple that we are interested in for play, so we messaged them. But there seems to be a lot of fun and interesting people on here and we aren’t sure if we would want a sexual relationship, but would love to befriend.

I am just not sure of the etiquette on the community and don’t want to come across as a creep. We don’t knowingly, know anyone in this community and have no idea how to approach people.

Thank you for your help!