private parties

We've done it diplomatically, leaving the hosts the easy option to say no thanks. For example: Hi Guys, we saw your nice party posting.. or a mutual friend mentioned your party this coming Saturday night. You two have a great profile. If there is room for another couple and you think we'd be a nice fit, do let us know! -- and we proactively open some private pics for them for a short period. This gives them the option to consider it. On the flip side, we do "stay in our own lane" meaning we aren't going to ask a couple or group obviously 20+ years younger than us. All this having been said, we do look for alternate options and if we've heard nothing 24 hours out we exercise them. No harm, no foul, no expectations.. hope? Sure :-)

There are people we have played with that would not be well suited to our parties, especially the larger ones. Most of the play is open room play and some people just don't do well with that. Also as mentioned, some people are just geared to be more social 2 on 2 than in a large gathering.

While things have gone well with the mix of people we invite to our parties, the people dynamic can be tough. I'd like to say we have a certain amount of skill in knowing what people will work well together. Realistically, some amount of our success is likely just dumb luck I think. I'll take it though ;-)

Large parties do allow us to see and spend time with more of our LS friends, but we do on occasion have smaller parties to try to see and spend time with other friends that do better in a smaller group. Private parties of any size are almost always better in general because a little thought goes into having birds of a feather vs an open invitation party where there can be many different agendas.

When it comes to private parties, my preference is word of mouth. Being invited by those I know in the lifestyle, who feel as comfortable with me as I do them, We add additional people as we get to know them, there demeanor, preferences etc.

I'd like to say that it always works out but there are times where that happen, Suffice to say, some folks are not cut out for parties where there is a large gathering. When that happens, the consensus f the core players is to not invite those folks back to future parties. As is the case with the lifestyle in general, respect is paramount, knowing ad respecting folks boundaries is a huge plus!

You can also post a hot date, although there are rules about what you can say. The pool parties I've been to contact everyone who has signed up and let them know what the rules are, where the party is held, and any restrictions on attendance.

Yes, groups, create new group, is the only way I know how to list a party.
You can then require that only group members can attend the parties and be notified of the party so you can vette people before you let them join.

TpsAjs,

You might consider using the group page. By starting a group (maybe call it YourPoolParty group) you can add profiles of interested people so that you can communicated easily with all of them for the next party.

i would think that the Hot Dates world be your best bet as it is unlikely you would attract people from too far away.

We like to host private parties, not sure where to list it on this site, during the summer we hold pool parties , a very private location , if someone knows where to post please send me a message Amanda

We rarely, if ever, see private parties listed on SLS. On another web site we see a lot of private parties listed, especially in Florida. When we lived in Florida it was fairly common to attend a house party without previously meeting the hosts.

I see a couple on a regular basis (LTR). Since our first meeting we have spread our wings somewhat. The first House Party I was invited to was held at a lifestyle couple's house they knew. The party was low key with several couples and singles. It was an amazing time. Being the single male in a MFM relationship, I am respectful and don't ask to attend parties the couple i know go to. When they do ask, I accept and am thankful they thought about bringing me along and sharing in the fun.

From that first house party, I now see two couples on a regular basis. Both couples are aware of sharing me with the other couple and it is fun when the five of us or more get together for house parties.

Just came across this. While I suppose it doesn't always have to be the case, I wouldn't normally expect "private" parties to be advertised on SLS. The ones we go to are by invitation only (usually Evite) from a list the host maintains. You generally get on that list by knowing someone that attends their parties.

In addition to what Travellers said about limited space, another consideration is if the party is in the hosts home. We have parties at our home at times, and the people on our list are ones we've met in person at other parties and feel OK about. We don't charge for our parties. That means that anything that gets damaged or stolen is on our dime, so we absolutely want to meet people either at another party or 2 on 2 first.

While I'm not insulted or angry if people we don't know find out about and ask if they can attend our parties, the answer they usually get is the same. That is, we don't really have time to spend with new people at a party and like to know who is in our home before inviting someone new. We want to meet people 2 on 2 first to get a sense that they'll respect our property, and also a good sense of whether they'd fit in with our normal crowd.

While the people we invite are not expected to play with us, if there is a couple that we KNOW would never play with us, these people need to ask themselves why we'd ever invite them. Since no money is changing hands, there is certainly no monetary incentive to do so. Kind of common sense, but that's not as common as it's name implies. The gist of this is, if you'd never consider playing with the hosts, unless the motivation behind the parties is to make a buck, asking to attend their parties might be considered rude at worst, and self-serving at best.

Mygirl: It is totally appropriate to contact the organizer of a party or event in sls and ask to be invited. Most allow a simple RSVP via the "attend" link on the party page. If there are subsequent instructions or addresses, they'll send you a message on here or direct you to another specific web page.

House parties are fun and productive as you can meet a lot of people. If you click, you can invite the lucky singleton, or couple, or groups to join you in playing immediately. That's why we enjoy house parties.

Thanks everyone. We figured it just as you all described it but probably just needed to hear it. Hopefully there will be another invite soon.

Travelers pretty much hit it right on the head. In 20 plus years of us playing with maybe one or two exceptions, were exactly as they described it. Just be friendly with everyone and if your enjoying yourself smile and say hello. You are never expected to play with anyone your not attracted or interested in just like any other lifestyle event. If you have gone to multiple house parties by the same group and you havent played at all then it usually is not a good fit for that group and you wont be asked to the next one. Don't take it personal, there are many different groups with mutual likes and dislikes and just need one that matches yours.

Every swinger house party we have attended was much like a vanilla party in that the crowd mostly gathered around a central common area (pool, living room, kitchen, pool table/game room, etc.). Various couple pairs and groups would wander off to play, but no one was "forced" to play. Some (well maybe most LOL) have evolved into a full-fledged fuck fest no doubt, but again no one was ever forced or "expected" to play.

Having said that, most house party hosts are doing so with the anticipation of everyone enjoying themselves. If a new couple only watches or immediately disappears when the play time starts, after a time or two of being invited and not playing, don't be surprised if you don't get invited to the next one. You will certainly not expected to play with "everyone" or any you don't match up well, but house parties have a limited amount of space. Hosts will generally invite those that do participate.

Yes they do expect you to play, but that is why we try and find out who is invited prior. If not we pass.

Like you we have expectations of who we want to play with.. not just anyone who wants to get laid.

Hedoluvers,

Every house party is different. Raise your concerns with the hosts. Ask them the same question you’re asking here.

The one thing we’ve not done yet is attended a house party. We’ve been invited to a few by couples we ‘be never met but have been hesitant to accept not knowing what would be expected of us. Is there an expectation that if we accept the invitation, that we are expected to play? My wife and are somewhat picky when it comes to play partners. We’ve had no problems finding play partners at larger venues like Hedo, LS club parties and meet n greets.

If you mean advertised on here, you have to ask to be invited. Most are either small events and held in a small place like a house , so they have to limit the number that can attend. Others are looking for a certain type, if you are not the age or body type or race they are looking for, you won't be invited.
Others want to check you out first. make sure you are real. You are either experienced or you are certain this is what you want so they require you to meet them before you can be invited.
If you mean hearing about a private party, that would be rude. You would need a friend to ask the host.
Private parties in clubs are usually open to anyone.

No its not. Some host feel honored . If no reply the group may just be too large to keep up with. Keep searching

No its not. Some host feel honored . If no reply the group may just be too large to keep up with. Keep searching

I've never asked but I wouldn't mind doing it. If refused to be invited upon request, I would offer to have us meet for drinks or dinner to get to know the hosts for future parties.

You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take.

We would ask.

We've asked a few times. I don't know if the request was considered rude but each time we asked, we were invited.

And we enjoyed those parties- we met what turned out to be our bestest play partner couple at one of the parties we asked for an invitation to.

Be polite and ask. Its either a yes or no and hopefully friends for life!

We have learned a long time ago... those that sit on sidelines never get to play but watch. For us we are the first ones on the dance floor to get things started at swinging parties.

Good luck let us know how it goes