MFM Etiquette

If we seek out the guy, we pay for it all, we are hosting right?
If we get contacted, we let the guy offer and then I usually split it out of courtesy.

Twentyyearitch- I can only speak for myself.
I think it is very different for a couple and a single male.
As a single male I realize they have a few hundred other guys to choose from and I do not want to screw it up by not doing something I was supposed to do.
As a couple it is already an equal exchange so I would assume you are going to pay your own way or split everything.

Have supporting facts. Been doing this a long time. You can get your dick off at local gay bars. No need to troll couples or swinging sites.

Well, unfortunately there are occasionally economic considerations. I had a several year relationship with a couple when I lived in Florida and it was not an issue. As far as the rest of your comments about dating and cheating you’re making assumptions without supporting facts. Thanks

Is it really about who pays? Swinging is about an extraordinary relationship between a loving and emotionally secure couple. It is unique and rare. Who pays? This is a conversation for married men or cheaters or those fantasizing about the cost of dating. The question and premise should be on one of the singles dating sites for non-swingers. Kind of showing your fanny here.

I typically pay, especially if I initiated the invite. My preference is drinks over dinner on the first meet up. After we’ve established a recurring friendship then dinner and shared cost to host has been more the norm for me. I do like to meet up during business or pleasure travel. It’s fun and exciting, however many couples prefer local only.

After having my first and second threesome with the same couple a week apart, I now realize there is no one answer.
They invited me over to their house and took me out for dinner afterwards.
My best advice for a single male is, same as vanilla dating, expect to pay for everything. Even if you do not have to pay for anything, you should be prepared to.

Addme4fun- LOL!
Good one.

We don't go to dinner on first dates with single men or couples. I have thought it would become awkward if it doesn't work. We meet for a drink nearby our home and host there. Many of our spontaneous MFMs are at upscale hotels. My husband turns me loose in the bar. They have rooms. On travel we have the room.

I always go with, "If you don't look like your photos your buying drinks till you do"
LOL

Whenever I am meeting up for dinner and drinks, I will pay the tab. If we end up getting a hotel room I will cover that as well. If I am meeting up at their place, I will bring wine or something with me.

If they are long time friends with benefits we will have vanilla fun like golfing, Disney, concerts etc… I pay my way and they pay theirs. If lunch, dinner or drinks (nightclubs) is involved, I will usually pay that portion of the vanilla fun.

The inviter pays. The invitee is more than welcome to share in the costs. The sex of the invitee does not matter.

As a couple I wanna pay, feels dirty if not. As a single I have always paid.

NCseniors- I understand your point and if I offered to pay and they said no, I would not argue, but I would still offer and I would offer to pay for anything else. If we had dinner and you wouldn't let me pay and then we got a room, I would offer to pay for the room.
My point being, I expect to pay for everything but at the same time I have to make sure they are comfortable with what I am paying for.

I've done it different ways. I usually offer to pay for food and drinks. If we are going to their house, that's taken care of. If they are coming to my town, I will give them part of the price of the room if I sense they are stretching their budget to be there.

The vast majority of our playtime is when traveling on vacation or when she tags along with me on a business trip, so we already have a hotel room. In prior communications we have almost always advised the SM (or the local couple for that matter) that we can host if we hit it off, and almost every one offers to grab the bar tab when we do our initial meet up. We host and they buy the first meet drinks seems to work without any discussion or drama.

I always offer to pay. Typically, the couple will chip in at least 1/2 of the dinner bill, and if we end up at a hotel, their share of that too.

In my opinion, if the SM doesn't offer to cover the bill, he's a schmuck.

If someone is visiting and already staying in an up-class hotel and we meet for drinks, we pay. Dinner I would say we would probably split unless it was a very special person. I will say that over the years that we have met some better than average professional males and couples they have treated us.

We’ve never met up with a single male, but I suspect that if we were to do that, we’d say we’re at least paying for our own dinner … and maybe his too. While I understand Ymichael14’s point about being grateful for the opportunity, my fear is that allowing the SM to pay for everything creates an expectation in his mind that we now owe him something. I’d rather we be in the position of saying “Sorry, but we’re not a good match” without his being able to lay a guilt trip on us. If the SM lived out of the area, we’d also likely be the ones to travel for the same reason.

If 'we" asked to meet and play with someone we enjoy and have chemistry with.. we have always paid.. just the way we do things on our journey!

We are thankful we are at a place we can do this and enjoy FWBs... we can usually tell by ones profile, photos and initial communications prior, in most cases if they are a good fit... if they lie, married and cheating we break it off immediately and tell them so!

In all our years swinging its only happened less than 5 times..

it depends on what everyone feels like. Most of the time, we will split the bill or pay for what we ordered. Everyone is different though.

As a single male I assume I am paying for everything.
I also assume I am doing all of the work, like finding a motel and booking it. If we are meeting for dinner first , I assume I am buying dinner.
There are a few million other guys that you could choose besides me. Most single guys do not have a few million couples that want them. So just like buying a product in a competitive market, you get to make any demand you like.
I also assume a couple would test me by seeing if I offer to pay for everything.
If I make the investment in both money and time, I am probably serious and will show up.
Love your profile photo.
Hope the lucky bastard appreciates her.

"Who pays for dinner and who pays for room?"

Traditionally, I think that the guy's family pays for both.

That's completely up to the three of you. Some couples insist the sm pay for everything. Some split the costs. You could talk about it before the meeting to avoid any awkwardness.

Good luck and have fun!

Setting up first MFM. meeting for dinner first to see if there is chemistry. Who pays for dinner and who pays for room?