Michael, I ask what purpose would it serve to join a pay site to initiate contact with couples only to never reply back to them again or to engage in lengthy dialogue only to ghost them down the road. I am in discussions with someone on this site at the moment that we met a while back that became unavailable shortly after we met him only to resurface with an excuse for his disappearance wanting a second chance. I try to keep an open mind and give him the benefit of the doubt but inside already know what the results will be. What’s really interesting is that there were a few people that we turned away for lack of chemistry or other reasons that seem to pop up occasionally wanting to know if we were having any luck finding someone. Why would they want to know that other than to keep tabs on us? I think that I am correct on my hunch here.
Any real guys in here?
Deejay- but what would the reason be? A religious group isn't going to just engage in conversation and arrange a meet, then not show up.
They would want to save you or show you the error of your wicked ways.
They might invite you to playtime then meet you in a church for an intervention, or even an exorcism.
I don't think that I am buying into the pic collector or flake scenario because it isn't random but regular and constant among all of these types of sites. There is definitely an organized group at play here leading people to dead end results. My guess is that it is a religious group, who else could it be? This has happened to us more than a couple dozen times over the past year on multiple sites. They play along and talk things up and even know a lot of the terms used in the lifestyle but when it comes down to meeting up, they come up with excuses or just ghost you. I was confused at first wondering what could have gone wrong but kept a positive attitude only to get burned time and time again. My wife is hot and has no trouble turning heads, so I knew that it didn't have anything to do with her. If you do this long enough and pay attention to details, you begin to see patterns such as long gaps between replies. If anyone was really that interested in you then it shouldn't take 2-3 days to reply and be short replies at that. But then again, they probably have hundreds of people to write to!!
I am real and honest. If I cannot make it, I will let you know. It's hard for a 75 year old divorced guy to find a local couple to make contact with.
Real guy here but far! and I would never ghost that beautiful bod :)
Real guy here, if you are ever near or in my area, be sure to reach out. Better luck to everyone.
Only if you all were closer, would never flake.
Alot of fakes on the sites, unfortunately.
I'm real and would never flake.
Ummmm
At 48 years old, you are a long way from "older"
I am probably going to catch a lot of crap for this, but I am an older single gentleman who is looking for a nice couple for friendship and conversation. Distance is always a challenge so I am not asking for anything physical, but I would be thrilled to find a nice couple with whom I can discuss kinks, desires, taboos, fantasies, etc.. without judgement. I really want to hear a couples needs, wants, desires too.
We've had our share of flakes, they do much more harm than good. She always wants to give up when they pull that crap. When they do show up we usually have a great time, it's not us ... it's them
That is what we run into all the time 9 out of 10 always flake with an excuse and sometimes just do not show up with no excuse. Had one that wanted to meet when we set it up, he came back the next day and told us he was not active right now whatever that means. I think a lot of people on here think this place is just another cybersex site and have no intensions of meeting Especially a lot of newer SMs and probably couples to, but we speak to more SMs then couples, so cannot say about couples.
I got flaked on 3 times in the same week, about a month ago.. One person got sick hours before.. Another had their dad fall down and have to spend the day at the hospital with no phone.. And one remembered they had to work the day of and also was sick...........
My problem is not that things come up. It's that they wait until the last possible moment to tell you, usually only when asked. And these were people that were setting up plans the nights before. I don't know what someone would get out of that. Then afterwards, they disappear. So it's not even believable that they ever had intentions in the first place, since they had none to keep things going when "something came up"
Have some respect for people's time.. Yes, even single people
Real single and don’t flake
im a real guy and im in here :)
Fraun- schools SHOULD teach what you need in life to survive.
If you can't chat with someone on here , you would not be able to apply for a job, either.
I do agree that parents are a huge part of the problem.
If I screened my searches better there would be nobody left.
My first search here came back with about 500 profiles. I eliminated about half of them immediately due to me not being the right age , race, etc.
Of the remaining 250, or so, I didn't find one decent profile. They were all one line and zero or one photo.
Now I only search for new members so I get about 12 profiles.
As for your advice about attending lifestyle clubs, parties join groups, I was recently shocked to learn that many clubs and group parties will let me attend, so I am working on that now.
Fran.. YM has been told this by many long time swingers who tried helping him when he first came on for months.. its the same with him.. he doesn't listen, doesn't have any game and its always someone elses fault.. you are wasting your time with this guy!
YM...not to nitpick, but it is important. Schools don't teach manners, conversation, or morals. Parents do. Many parents in the US have abdicated this duty since the hippie trippy era. We're all suffering for this now.
As for poor profiles: We asked the profile brain trust on SLS Forums for help, and they critiqued us like the Harvard Law Review. We are much happier with our profile now, and it is working for us.
Maybe you should screen your target profiles much more and eliminate the poor ones. Just this AM on the chat, a man contacted us and proceeded to offer his availability to help with Frau. After 2 lines of chat this is what we learned: divorcing supposedly, no wife in picture despite a couple profile, no photos on profile, but he asked for our kik-email-media contacts. When told we're happy with SLS messaging, he did not like that and wanted to cam with us.
What are we to deduce from this B.S. exchange?
Well, I'll tell you: He's married. He's creeping on his wife. He doesn't want permanent evidence on SLS. Yes, sites like this retain your data. He just wants to get his orgasm and bolt online. He wants to bother Frau with dick pics during the day.
Our advice: Tailor your searches and get involved in lifestyle online groups. Heck, go to a church's singles meetup group and find a lady or two. Church ladies are freaks too. Go to real-life meetups from SLS groups. Travel to a lifestyle resort, party, hotel takeover, or event. Tailor your profile and respond only to those who meet your criteria.
Exactly Fran.. Exactly!
Fraunhubby- as a SM, not continuing a conversation or showing up for a meet is totally foreign to me. I have no idea why anyone would not show up after all the work it takes just to get someone to respond.
The lack of social skills. Where I work, they will hire anybody. I see the lack of social skills every day. I think the problem is schools stopped teaching basic skills to get a job and are now more interested in teaching that men can use the ladies room.
My problem is finding anybody on here that has a profile with more than one line and at least one photo.
So , it is not just SM.
Your profile is perfect. "riding horses, boating, hiking'. I can start a conversation with how I like those things and where I did them.
You also state exactly what type of person , what body type ,you are looking for.
But, haven't found a profile like yours in my area yet.
Not a complaint, but a series of observations. RonnKathy, PW, and others are correct. The general poor state of US social skills is a big part of this. In most areas of US life now, there is a penchant for rudeness, bluntness, and no manners, from restaurants to schools to social events.
Frau is a responsible successful leader in business who has traveled a lot. If she cannot hold a decent, interesting conversation with a man or couple, it's unlikely she'll invite them into her bed, no matter how big his equipment is.
She gets turned on by gentlemen and couples who lust for her, can express the lust articulately, and treat her very well. If that happens, then there are really no bounds to her pleasure giving and taking. What shocks me lately, are the guys who contacts us and refuse to even speak civilly to her/us, much less having a loving, caring, mannerly erotic conversation. I don't get these guys.
RTC.. yes exactly what we do... but if all have some chemistry after we meet.. its off to our bed.. why wait! LOL It works for us!!
All good things take some effort and weeds out "most" bad ones.
DD one thing about views of ones profile... many here just like to PERV profiles, read what people have , look at photos, and for the wife she enjoys reading many while in a tub with her bath... we do NOT keep who viewed me on as we dont care who looks and who doesnt.. real swingers and those that want to play with you will reach out.. all the rest dont worry about them.. it will make your journey better!
All great POV. We’ve come to the conclusion that a nice adult evening is going to require work on our part. In todays world, you can’t rely 100% on SLS. That said, we first chat, if that goes we’ll, meet for drinks or dinner. And if that goes we’ll set up a play date. Occasionally, we break the rule and go directly to play date with a cpl/sm that is traveling after only chatting. At any rate, when everyone is on the same page, it’s still a really fun evening and worth the work we put into it.
Good morning, I'm in NY and get ghosted by many couples and singles. I have had ongoing conversations for weeks, then they don't show up or cancel plans last minute. It's difficult to tell who are really in the lifestyle or hopeful hubbys who wish it would happen.
Another annoyance is people viewing my profile first and often but not replying to my messages asking if they are interested in chatting.