Episode 94: Is it Jealousy or Envy?

Transcript

This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-pos positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us?

hello everyone i'm mr jones and i'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 94 of the we got a thing podcast is it jealousy or is it envy that's the big question we could just answer it right now and we could say goodbye i've tried to do that before, and you keep going. Yeah. So before we get started tonight, a couple of announcements. First of all, how are you, Mrs. Jones? I'm fine. Good. Are you happy to be here? Thrilled. Why? I feel like I'm being set up for something.

Well, because I'm going to tell everybody how enthused you are when I said, do you want to record a podcast tonight? Let's get it over with. It's Valentine's Day. I know. And what are we doing? We're doing something we love to do together. I guess. At least one of us does.

No, it's Monday and I'm completely sober yeah so you know i gotta get into my groove okay well we have a few announcements before we get started on deciding if this is jealousy or envy that we're talking about we mentioned a new website last month it is now live uh thank you all for who have gone and given us some feedback on it we're really happy with it um and our new members only community website is finished as well so i feel like i can cross those two things off my list those are big things i know really excited about that too we've got a couple of events coming up within our community our midwest regional group is putting on an event at the end of april in indianapolis and we have some room so if anybody would like to attend that there's information on our website or you can join our community and get signed up for that.

People are starting to plan out their calendars for 2022. It looks like COVID is finally receding. I hope so. I know our calendar is getting full. I know. Yeah. What do we have? Well, I can tell how booked out we are because I create a folder, like a travel folder for every trip that we're going on. Yeah. And I have to print everything out for you. I know. Cause like when we're, when you're under pressure, like trying to find something, it's so much easier to just open a folder and pull out a piece of paper versus like panicking and trying to find the email on your phone.

and that just stresses me out have you seen the progressive auto insurance commercial where the guy goes everybody who has a paper ticket hold it up and everybody holds up the paper ticket because we got a lot of work to do here well you know when you travel internationally you have to have okay but i'm not talking about that i'm just talking about any trip yeah you have to have all your paper that's what you're talking about you're talking about having a folder full of paper in a crisis, I'm not talking about that. I'm just talking about any trip. You have to have all your paper.

That's what you're talking about. You're talking about having a folder full of paper. In a crisis, I'm prepared. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So you have several... Make fun of me as you will. That's part of what I do. Sometimes you're an easy target. So what you're saying is you have a lot of paper folders piled up. I do. So that's exciting. For trips coming up.

a couple days yeah that's right a few days yeah a personal trip yeah but hopefully we're going to go somewhere where it's a little bit warmer yes we are actually seriously like actively ready to pull the trigger investigating like where we want our next home to be like our retirement home our real retirement home yeah yeah not the one that's currently sucking all the money out of our bank account that's why we're only investigating and not actually buying right now because we're we're still pouring money into this there's light at the end of the tunnel. You know what movie we need to watch?

Yeah, I know. Money Pit. We do. We haven't seen that in a long time. When's it going to be finished? Two weeks. Two weeks. Well, like it was a perfectly nice day today and nobody showed up. Don't remind me. What the hell? I know. Like, come on. I know. It's maddening. Anyway, back to our events. We have the Midwest Regional event at the end of April. Our Southeast group is doing an event in May, I think near Atlanta. Yep. Our Southwest group is doing an event in June. Yeah, in Vegas again. That one's probably already full, though. Yeah. Definitely.

And then, speaking of our community, we have a couple of new groups. We have like a quorum of Canadians now. Yeah, definitely. And then speaking of our community, we have a couple of new groups. We have, we have like a quorum of Canadians now. Yes, we do. We've had a couple of our friends north of the border ask if we could set up a regional group for them. So we're going to do that. And then we're adding four by four and more group. I asked what that meant.

I'm like, four by four as in vehicle or four by four is that's like code for some group play like i had to ask no you know it's it's jeeps and rvs and trucks and um anything outdoorsy yeah that's what it is got quite a few people in our community that talk about that a lot. So we decided to add those. And lastly, we need to say that you haven't got, if you subscribe to our newsletter, you haven't gotten one in a couple of months because we are rethinking and redesigning our newsletter.

Kind of the format that we've been following over the past couple years has gotten a little bit stale and so we're just putting that on pause while we focus on our new websites and our community and then we're going to repurpose our newsletter and get that back out good deal so enough of the business okay let's get down to the fun stuff keeping up with the joneses oh we have had some fun yes? Well, let's see. If we go in order. That's very important. I know. I think we recorded last time right before we were leaving on our cruise. So we actually managed to get on the cruise ship.

We had to do, like it was so stressful. Like we had to do the COVID test. On camera. Yeah.

So what they have you do is they have you test at home and you have to test within 48 hours of actually getting on the ship but you know when we cruise we always fly down a day early just in case there's travel issues and it it was gonna snow the day before like it was so stressful so we had to do the covid test we had to like like hope that the snow didn't actually hit and it didn't we were fine um but yeah so you had to do a covet test on a zoom call right and then you had to take that app with you and show when you got on board that you had a negative test and you had your vaccination records but we made it we did but before we got on the boat if you're going to go in order yes so we went down a day early because again you need to before a cruise because you can't be late for a cruise well and when you have sexy friends in south florida that you want to visit you're even more motivated to go down a day early so a special special thank you to tiffany and rachel the sapphic swingers of the sapphic swinger podcast they were gracious hosts again picked us up i mean schlepped us from the airport it's like limo service it's like i swear and piper and yeah it was tiff and rachel and piper and they have the same kind of pup we have and yeah they let us cram all of our cruise luggage into their car.

Well, the good thing about, like, Tiffin and Rachel probably cruise more than we do. Yeah, they do. Well, they live like you can see the port from their house just about. Pretty much. Pretty much. So, like, they knew that we were going to be bringing, like, multiple suitcases of stuff. So, they were not surprised by our quantity of luggage.

Here's why know here's when you know you have good friends they just demanded that we stay with them and that they were going to pick us up from the airport and we got down there right around noon yeah so they picked us up and we did not leave their house we talked and caught up we were talking about going to an escape room which actually would have been super fun with them it would have been a blast Yeah. But we didn't because we just talked and caught up. We were talking about going to an escape room, which actually would have been super fun. With them, it would have been a blast. Yeah.

But we didn't because we just talked and talked and talked. Yeah. And drank. Oh, and then there was the ice cream boat. Yeah. So, you know, when you hear the ice cream truck music, you think of two things.

You either think of a horror movie where there's the creepy ice cream man that's gonna you know abduct your children or you think of the good humor man or the ice cream truck and so it took me right back to being eight years old again well the four of us were sitting at the table and it was nice weather so they had their door open and they're right on the water and all of a sudden the four of us stopped talking and our ears perked up and we heard the ice cream man. But it wasn't coming from the street. It was coming from the canal. And so we all four got up and ran outside.

And here comes a boat full of, what, three or four adults on it? Yeah. And they were like right behind the house when we got out there. And either, I can't. It was Tiffany. It was Tiffany. She yelled something about, like, ice cream. And then, you know, just kind of, like, waving. And they said, we have adult ice cream, too. And we were like, what? Adult ice cream? Yeah. So they had booze-infused ice cream pops. Yeah. So they actually turned the boat around and came back to Tiff and Rachel's dock. Yeah.

And we bought two ice cream pops so they actually turned the boat around and came back to tiff and rachel's dock and yeah and we bought two um ice cream pops and shared them yeah they were really good and we were having such a good visit that we realized we hadn't eaten dinner and it was like 10 o'clock at night and so we were scrambling to find i think we finally found thai food yeah and and we were their last customers they closed at 10 30 and i think we called it 10 10 yes we ran out and got some dinner and then um we didn't want to go to the club because we didn't want to take a chance of testing positive before we got on the ship so we just stayed and visited all night it was just it was so much fun yeah there's such a great and then got up the next day and took us to the um well she took me to buy me a pair of shoes uh tiffany did because i forgot my running shoes and then you bought 19 running shoes what was that show yeah i went to ross where we dress for less yeah i found a $19 pair of shoes and I said...

The only place open on Sunday morning. Yeah. And I don't, and I'm sorry to have to tell you this, Tiffany, but I didn't run anyway on the ship after I went out and spent $19 on these cheap shoes. I didn't even run.

But at least you, if you did run, like you had Converse with you and you said, well first you were like oh i could run on my converse i'm like honey they they would be worse than running barefoot yeah i'd look like a dork too well yeah you would look like a dork but like they have no arch support whatever you'd probably be better just running barefooted like some people do yeah so anyway thank you very much ladies for hosting us again you are terrific friends and we're we treasure our friendship and just appreciate everything that you do for the only thing that could have been better is if they would have gotten on the ship with us that's true can you imagine how much fun that would be i can the four of us trying to be yeah i can like like you know we got trying to behave we got in enough cruise with those two we got in enough trouble just the four of us which we'll get to in a second but no i that would be fun it would be yeah all right well what else so going to oh let's talk about the cruise then oh okay yeah that that this originally started because we had a cruise planned in europe in 2020 which obviously got canceled on a celebrity line and they gave us um a huge a bonus like when they gave us a refund they gave us a credit it's 125 credit yeah yeah if you didn't ask for a refund right and we have to use the credit in 2022 right so we're going to take another cruise later in the year but um anyway we booked this a while back and then it was just going to be the two of us and then we um invited some lifestyle friends and they came along with us yeah.

Yeah. So it was a swirly vacation. Yes. But you and I got to spend a lot of time with just the two of us. It wasn't an event, and it wasn't all lifestyle stuff going on. It was just a regular cruise with good friends that happened to be lifestyle friends. Yep. Win-win. Yeah.

But they were excellent traveling companions because like we we spent i think we had dinner together every night yeah but like during the day we kind of did our own thing yeah i mean sometimes we would meet up at the um on the top deck at the resort pool and and that kind of stuff but most of the day we were kind of on our own yeah so it was kind of the best of both worlds yeah it was a lot of fun it was a It was a lot of stuff. But most of the day, we were kind of on our own. Yeah. So it was kind of the best of both worlds. Yeah. It was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. Yeah.

It was just so nice to be in warm weather. Like, you know, I am not a winter person at all.

Well, they diverted us to the Bahamas because Puerto Rico was shut down, which was disappointing because we have other good friends in our community that are from Puertoerto rico that had given us a long list of places to go like yeah they had planned a bar crawl for us we were in old san juan and we've been to the bahamas so many times and honestly it was still not that warm in the bahamas so we got off the ship and walked for about a half an hour and then said let's just get back on the boat yeah so but you know what we weren't at home oh don't get me wrong i am not complaining about anything it was fun yeah it was a great ship and a great cruise um then we went to tortola and saint martin oh so we went back to um orient beach yes orient beach is the where club orient used to be before the hurricane wiped out orient beach and club orient was a nudist resort resort yeah and then the orient beach which is adjacent to it was topless optional right right the closer you were to club orient the more um topless optional it was as you migrated down the beach away from club orient it was more family friendly and it was so we always used to stay like near club orient yeah you know when we would go we've only been there we've been on cruises right but we always taxi over there and it's just so gorgeous yeah the beach was nice again and they've rebuilt a lot of the beach but it was kind of sad because club orient has these little huts or villas cottages yeah and they were all vacant they're gone they're destroyed and the our taxi driver and if you want to know what's going on on an island you talk to a taxi and he told us that there's a lot of problems with them getting the financial aid that's been sent their way because of governments not distributing the money the way that it should be so they're still recovering from the hurricane which was some of the homes don't have roofs it's been four years four years some of the homes don't have roofs yet so what people were doing is the nudists were still coming there but they were staying elsewhere and then they would come walk down to the um beach and so there were a lot of nudists on the on the club orient side and there were vendors there yeah i mean it was back to life but club oriented so you can't stay there no you can't stay there it's not open um but i was kind of proud of you you started a revolution on the beach that day i did like we had been there a couple hours and like you would see ladies walk by topless but they were headed back to the like club orient area where people were nude and um like nobody around us had taken their top off and there were no kids around so finally i was i had had a couple beers and i was finally like we're not going to be back here for a while so i just went ahead and took my top off yeah and then our friend took her top off and then um no i took my top off right when our friend was going to the ladies.

So she said she would, but that she would be right back, I think, or something like that. But then I looked over. So I was by myself with my top off. Well, with you two, with the two guys. And then the couple next to us that we didn't know, she had taken her top off. After you did. After I did.

And then like maybe 15 minutes later later the lady in front of us who again we didn't know i don't know if they were on our cruise or not right um she had taken her top off yeah so you were the you know you were the catalyst i know to a lot of happy husbands that day that was a beautiful day though you know i have done that a few other times at Orient Beach, but it was when we were, like, before we were in the lifestyle or just getting into the lifestyle, and I still wasn't that comfortable. Now we've been to Desire, I think I counted 17 times. Yeah. So, like, I don't care anymore. Yeah.

Like, you know. It's about time. I know. It's just not that big of a deal. Yeah. You know, go to the doctor. I don't care if people see my boobs. I got a mammogram a couple days ago. Like, you know, slip your arm out of your robe. And, you know, if you want to keep covered up as long as possible, go ahead. And I'm like, it's warm in here.

I don don't care like right you kind of just uh lose i guess uh perspective yeah i forget what it's like to be a prude i know well well speaking of that um what we found on the ship was that the cycle of the day does not the cycle day of the cruise ship does not align with the cycle day at Desire. Right. Because the four of us kept missing breakfast and missing lunch. And... Well, we didn't miss dinner because we had reservations. Right.

But by the time we got up in the morning and had our coffee and kind of got on the balcony and lounged around, we were having to rush rush upstairs before lounge around is that code yeah well a couple times it was yeah i mean you have business to take care of and and so we would have to rush up there and we always the last one they were closing down the breakfast bar every time we went up there i know then before we knew it it was like 2 30 or 3 o'clock and we'd say well we better get something to eat and then the lunch places would be closing down they closed down about 3 o'clock so we were having to find somebody who would make us a hot dog or a pizza or something and then at night after dinner we would go to the martini bar and then we would go to the club and a couple of nights we closed the club down and a couple of nights, we closed the club down.

And a couple of nights, we were the only four in the club. Yeah. Now, there were only 1,000 people on the ship. And it is Celebrity, which is an older clientele. Well, there's no kids. Right. Well, yeah, there were only a couple families, that's for sure. Right. But yeah, one night at the club, the DJ actually came down out of his booth, and he came over and talked to us. Yeah, he said, you're the only ones here. What can I play for you?

No, he's like you've got to give me a song to play and the only night there were there were like two nights that got really busy and it was us and the 25 year olds there was a group of kids yeah that would come in there late at night swarm in yeah and dance for a while then they'd swarm back out yeah and so it was it was the four of us and then this group of young kids that would come in and and so anyway it it just doesn't sync up with a lifestyle vacation oh and there was the one um latino couple remember she was the one that had the amazingly beautiful curvy body remember the night that the oh i forget what song was on and she walked in she and her husband they were on their honeymoon and she and her husband walked in and they walked past us like my back was to uh like the entrance of the club so when she walked in she walked past us and i had seen her several other nights and she she was one of these ladies that has this teeny tiny little waist and then this curvy booty but it wasn't like a flubbery booty it was like a it was a big booty but it was perfect yeah and i i was just amazed by it because like i have a very straight up and down figure.

It doesn't matter how much I weigh. And I've just always been that way. So ladies that have those tiny waists and those curvy booties, I'm just enthralled with that. And she walked in with her husband. And I was like, oh, there's the lady with the amazing booty.

and I said it right when the song went quiet yeah and I was kind of yelling it because of course we were in a disco and it was loud right but I like my brain did not catch up to the volume drop well your brain did some crazy things on this cruise because you were having trouble sleeping and our one of our friends he had some ambient with him and you took a half of a night no i took a whole one i didn't know i was supposed to take a half but you took it at like midnight right no well yeah yeah probably so you slept through the night but the next day was a sea day i know so i knew i didn't have to get up early i know but it was weird it was like somebody slipped you something in your drink because we went to the pool i was fine the next morning no you were fine you got up we went to breakfast you had coffee you were fine and then when we went to the pool you started acting like you were drunk and you only had one drink at that point in time yeah and you were to this couple.

And this topic of conversation was not something that you usually are interested in talking about. See, I have no idea what you're talking about. And I tried to get you to leave. And you sat there talking. And then our friend tried to get you to leave. And she came over to me and she said, she doesn't want to be saved. She's over there willingly. So then I said, well, I got to go get some, maybe she needs something to eat. So I went and got a couple of hot dogs and I took them purposely back to our chair and I came over to you and I said, our lunch is over here and you still didn't leave.

So I had to bring the hot dog over to you and like break it into bites and hand it to you so you'd put it in your mouth. You're making that up. No, and then I don't. Yeah. And then you started, then you started getting really frisky and horny and you started talking about, remember, that's when you put your last three in. Oh, right. And then you wanted to go back to the room and you were very vocal about what you wanted to do. Your communication skills were on point that day. You were not shy at all.

And, and then, and then all of a sudden we, we all noticed the three of just noticed you were like this. And then at dinner, you were not shy at all and and then and then all of a sudden we we all noticed the three of us noticed you were like this and then at dinner you were fine and then the more we talked about it the more we wondered i said it was like somebody slipped something in your drink i know or it was the after effect of that ambient plus the alcohol that you yeah but that had been like it had been 12 hours it had had taken it. Yeah, but you're small. And I had one drink.

I know, but I don't know. It was weird. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, it was interesting. We had good sex during that. Yeah, well, so that's what I hear. I don't remember any of it. Yeah, that was one of the days we went back to the room before dinner. Yeah. And, yeah, did some afternoon delight. Yeah. Anyway, it was a good cruise. We had a good time. And thank you to our friends who vacationed with us. And we had a great time. Definitely.

Then we came home, and this past weekend, no, not this past weekend, guess we can a week ago week ago we uh our dc regional group in our community had um a weekend event well it wasn't a weekend event it was supposed to be it started out as a winery sunday afternoon winery event and then before we know it there's 30 or 40 people coming 30 40 couples people people and then they're coming in on friday and they're yeah staying making dinner plans friday and then you decided to host a happy hour yeah at our home so we had everyone over here and our house was our house is 100 years old and i would bet that that's the the most people that have ever ever been in this And we're under construction.

I mean, the main part of the house is fine, but like we're adding this room on the back of the house, which is really the room we're going to entertain in. Yeah. But it is framed right now, but that's it. So we actually have less room than we normally have because we had a little sunroom back there. Yeah.

So anyway it was cozy i mean most people drove in uh we had people come from pennsylvania new jersey north carolina but we also had a couple fly in from nevada and from colorado yeah and um had a blast so we had a happy hour here then we all went to dinner had a great dinner And then they all went to the winery the next day. We couldn't go to the winery. We had plans. Yeah. And then there was still a smattering of people late Sunday night. So after our dinner on Sunday, we went back out and met folks before they left. Yeah. It was so fun. Yeah.

I mean, this DC group, everybody is starting to get to gel and know each other and we did meet some new couples this time but the group has really taken on a personality of its own and it's a lot of fun yep and we have a lot of leaders in this group people who just will take the bull by the horns and plan things yeah solid people and sexy solid and sexy and funny oh my we laughed. Yeah. I got some incriminating pictures that I'll be holding on my phone for blackmail purposes in the future. Well, Sunday night, there were still some people in town.

Some people from out of town, they were going to drive home Monday morning. So after the winery on Sunday.

They had been day drinking they had been day drinking we had not right so i was the sober photographer so we went over to our friend's house just for a couple hours you know before everybody had to go to bed because the the host couple had to go to work the next day so anyway we went over there for a couple hours well one of our friends from out of town she was sitting next to me we were just sitting around the table talking and all of a sudden she starts leaning on me and i'm like oh so i kind of put my arm around and kind of patted her on the back and then i looked over she was asleep no she was passed out there's a difference well in her defense they she worked all day saturday and then they drove down from out of state on saturday to do the saturday night dinner thing and um and then you know they got up and went to the winery so i mean she was exhausted you know and it was kind of a long drive for them so anyway whatever she was tuckered out and then she had been day drinking and night drinking but because we were she was drinking bourbon and i was drinking bourbon i know what she was drinking so she she fell asleep on me and like it got so So like relaxed so much i actually had to put my hand on her forehead because her head kept wanting to like tip forward so anyway we managed to wake her up and and everybody went home at that point in time but not before you took a picture yeah yeah so then she she texted me the next day and apologized and i said oh she said something about i hope i didn't snore and i said oh no you didn't snore at all and i said and you didn't drool either you're a very sweet sleeper and she's like oh my god i didn't even think about drooling so next time i you know i must be uh not very exciting i need to think of a way to keep her awake next time so 2022 is off to a quick start no covid so far and um things seem to be opening back up and we've had a lot of fun so when we come back we're going to talk about this topic of a different type of jealousy or the more we thought about it, is it envy and not jealousy?

We'll be back. Welcome back to segment two. a little bit of a vocabulary lesson yes envy versus jealousy yeah at the you know we're we're um you and i went to the um brewery yesterday afternoon to to work on our podcast outline right and whose idea was that yours okay so you're like giving me a little bit of garbage at the beginning of the episode here for not being into it but i'm the one that wanted to go you did sit down and hash this out and get it all situated honey i'm giving you credit we're a good team because i had this topic written down from people who had sent us messages.

And once we talked about it, it kind of morphed into something completely different. But it's the same topic. Right. So it took us two or three beers to perfect this outline. And the green pen. Yeah, so we're going to talk about well so there's jealousy is typically the standard jealousy is what we talked about in episode three well i think the air quote standard jealousy is is that you know when you're thinking about dabbling in the lifestyle as a couple i think that that jealousy like i can't imagine what it's going to look like or feel like We'll be right back.

You know, when you're thinking about dabbling in the lifestyle as a couple, I think that that jealousy, like I can't imagine what it's going to look like or feel like if my partner kisses somebody else. You know, I'm going to be jealous because you think back to how you felt in high school and college when you were dating. And and then, you know, somebody that you were interested in was interested in somebody else. And you have to observe that, and it sucks. Right. And it evokes some sort of an emotional response. It's a perceived threat, or it's based on an insecurity.

And that's what we're talking about when we talked about jealousy in episode three. And when we talked about it with Catherine on our episode 41, and in that episode, we talked about what jealousy is, how you can recognize it, and how you can work through it. Right. So that's when we talk about the word jealousy, that's typically what comes to mind. And you can go back and listen to our episode three. But, you know, early in our lifestyle experience, I was the one who experienced some jealousy. And, you know, we talked about that and what it felt like and that I didn't know what it was.

And it took us a few months to work through it, but we eventually did. You know, so we're not revisiting that, but that's kind of the launching point for the conversation tonight. Right. And you and I have worked through some stuff in the past couple of years that have been related to jealousy, but not quite. And I think that's really the turn that the conversation took last week or whenever it was that we were kind of like initially like mapping this thing out. Right.

That there's more than one way to feel that type of jealous feeling but is it really is it jealousy or is it just some other crap that you're dealing with that you have to put into place right and so the two situations that we're talking about the first one is people have said that they sometimes get jealous that their partner is having a better time or having more fun in the lifestyle than they are or that their partner, like if they play separately, my partner is getting more dates than I do.

And they've used the word jealousy, that I'm jealous of them having a good time and me not having a good time right the other one that we're going to talk about is some people have said we've been with couples we've become good friends and then when they found out that we played with other couples they get jealous right or they or they get jealous because they see their friends correct going out with other friends correct so people have been asking us for a long time to talk about this kind of jealousy with two couples when when there's two couples involved so the two those are the two scenarios that we want to talk about jealous of um your your partner having more fun and jealous that a couple that you're close with is, is actually choosing to go out with somebody else.

Right. So why, why did this turn into envy? Well, uh, we're talking about the, the second scenario, right? Or we're talking about about let's just say when my partner is having more fun well i'm not to me when i think of the word jealous i think there's a stronger emotion that goes with it like um like you're jealous because you're threatened maybe, you know, does that make sense? Yeah. It's a fight or flight. It's something that you, you're very protective of. Right. Yeah. Right.

So when I see you having more fun than me in a certain situation, um, well, I mean, so what we're talking about is that elusive four-way connection didn't happen.

Um, and you know, and that happens often to some degree right it's really rare for all four people to have the same amount of fun right but we're talking about maybe when it happens over and over and over again right or you get on this losing streak so to speak that's awful okay streak uh when there's a trend there and I did I have been through that a while ago right I went through a phase where it just it wasn't clicking for me right and you were having a grand old time yeah every time and I it kind of got old for me right I'm like wait like, wait a minute, this isn't fun anymore.

And I was envious. I'm like, you know, you just hit the jackpot every single time and I'm struggling. And, you know, that means that I was frustrated and I initially thought I was jealous because you were, well, first of all, I mean, there was other stuff going on. Like, I felt like you weren't paying attention to me, that you would kind of get lost in the moment, and you were ignoring me. So then, you know, so I was frustrated with that. And then in my mind, I'm thinking, okay, I must be jealous about something.

Like I was trying to like articulate how I was feeling and you were not understanding me and I felt like I was talking to a brick wall. So finally, I realized that it was just, I was envious that you were having fun and I wasn't. And I'm not saying I didn't have any fun at all, you know, but the balance was completely out of kilter. Right. So I was envious. And when that happens over and over again, also what gets brought into it is your own, not your own, but anyone's, like you could start to feel insecure. Like, Oh, that's exactly what happened to me.

You know, is it, it must be me it i was the common denominator right so that's not really envied but that's what led to it you know you're and you're watching me at the same time and then you're experiencing some doubt yourself which doesn't help the situation any right but the more of the but but the more we talked about it and the way this was presented to us was that it was jealousy but the more that we talked about it we we think that it's um the way you respond to something and that emotional response that you have it's it's i mean you you were upset with me because you didn't think i was paying, but you weren't jealous of me that I was forming a relationship with somebody else.

It was based on just the interaction. No, that's a whole nother episode. Right, right. Yeah. And I think we talked about that, you know, for a little while when we were planning this out. You know, what if I get jealous because it seems like my partner is developing feelings for someone else right you know that yeah that's a totally different thing right so that's really not what we're talking about here i'm just i'm just jealous that you're having more fun than me right well and and then then the question became why am i doing this yeah why are this? Yeah.

If I'm not having fun and I'm watching you have fun with another woman and she's having really good sex with you and my sex is not as good, why are we doing this? Why don't you two of us just have sex because we have good sex together? That's the logic behind it, right? Yes. Yeah.

so that that envy it starts it started out as envy but then it turned into self you know doubt and then asking why are we even doing this right and you know i think a way to um solve the problem is to remember that you're that you're in this together and together you have to figure out a way to manage it exactly so you're and and that is really true with any situation that goes wrong but in this particular case what you're saying is wait a minute hold it a minute sit hold the hold your horses why did we get into this in the first place and what were we looking for we got in this as a team we're looking for a four-way connection that's what we have to refocus on we can't continue to get into a situation where we don't have that when when because i think sometimes you would defer to me because you knew i was attracted to the woman and maybe you weren't as attracted or you just went along with it for some for some reason right well it it doesn't even have to do with attraction you know like a lot of times i don't somebody's appearance really isn't the make or break for me, right?

It's their personality more than anything. And a guy can have a great personality, but then once we get in bed, there could be a lack of compatibility and you don't know that until you're there. Okay. Well, maybe I said that wrong. Maybe what I'm talking about is that you were looking at me and saying, gosh, I want you to be able to have a good time, so I'm not going to stand in the way. I'm glad you're having a good time. You know, there's the selflessness to it. Right, and then I'll hope for the best. Yes, exactly. Yeah. That's it. And most of the time that works out great.

Well, some of the times it did. But I went through a streak where that wasn't the case. Right, right. So the thing is, is that when that happens too many times, like I said, then it starts to become my problem. I was the common denominator.

I just, you know, all the things that I can criticize that i can criticize about myself right i just had like a laundry list of right you know and then i don't even want to go there but then what happens if you don't like figure out this whole envy thing and acknowledge it and and talk about it with your partner the envy can turn into resentment yes and i let it go there yes right and then i'm on the other side you're very emphatically saying yes well i'm on the other side of the table as we're having not tonight but as as you're going through this thinking okay what the heck is the problem here i can tell she's upset is she jealous um is she mad at me because I wasn't paying attention to her?

Um, did I miss something? Um, did she not have a good time? Did I say something wrong? Did something happen over there that I wasn't aware of? I have no idea. I know that it's not right, but I didn't know which of the issues it was. Right.

And as my husband, you're supposed to intuitively just know that right yeah that but then i forget that you know men are blockheads yeah it was in our wedding vows i'm a blockhead so anyway that that's it started out as envy and then it led us to a place where we had to say and i think other people need to do this too is like hold it let's take a time out this is what we've been experiencing why are we doing this you know are we falling into a trap and a routine here let's go back to square one and talk about why we're doing this together and let's start with that in mind and so as we move towards play that we're re-centered and we're looking at this from equally from both sides yeah yeah it's been much better oh that's good yeah i think it was much better on the cruise oh yeah well and we knew that because you know the the friends that we were with right um have the same mindset that we have they're pretty laid-back people and yeah exactly so that's that's that situation now the one that comes up even more so that people have asked us to talk about is and that's jealousy between couples um so that's when you become close friends with someone and you play somewhat on a regular basis or you meet at the club and you play and then all of a sudden you either see them with another couple or or the other couple sees you with another couple and there's some jealousy that's the word that's been used yeah that oh my gosh you're our couple and now you're choosing to be with somebody else that feels feels like jealousy.

It hurts like jealousy. And so jealousy was the word that was being used. And I think jealousy can be on point in these situations because I think people do get very emotionally invested sometimes. Yeah. And I think some observations that we have on that. First of all, you know, we were wondering, well, in most cases, I think when we've heard about this happening, it has been with couples. It was early on in their lifestyle experience. Most of the time. Yeah. Yeah.

So if you can describe the situation, you're, let's just say your life is busy is busy you have kids you're trying to get into the lifestyle you only have one weekend a month or two weekends a month you get out you're dating you're not finding the right people it's frustrating you keep going then you find a couple and you're like oh my gosh we finally found couple. They live right around the corner or whatever. We're compatible. We can stop looking. We'll just spend our time with them.

And then that doesn't really go very well because one or more of the people in that quad end up meeting other couples. And you're under the false impression that you're exclusive. Yeah. And I mean, at this point, have they even had like the exclusive conversation? Right. Right. So that's what seems to be missing because it almost becomes implied that we are going to see you next weekend because we saw you last weekend and we're going to see you the next weekend because we're seeing you this weekend.

And you get into a habit of doing that without the conversation of exclusivity and there's exclusivity is implied. So that's issue number one. And also we were talking about, we wonder if this happened is happening more now because of COVID. Oh, I totally think so. Like how many people have we talked to where they have referred to someone as their COVID couple? Yeah. The quarantine, the quarantine partners. Yeah. Yeah.

You know how people like were forming pods during like in 2020, when things were serious because it was a smart thing to do right yeah you all get tested and you stay in your little bubble together because it wasn't safe to go to a club it really wasn't a good idea clubs weren't even open right and events were shut down and the opportunities for meeting people were few so i'm just pointing out that maybe we're hearing a whole lot more about this now because of people being exclusive during COVID because of COVID. Right. It makes sense. Yeah. But how do you gracefully exit that?

Or how do you talk about it? Let's go. Yeah. How do you gracefully exit that? if do you talk about it let's go yeah how do you gracefully exit that if you haven't talked about it it becomes even more difficult yeah because let's face it the lifestyle is an adult um experience and we're gonna do a whole nother podcast on that but as an adult, you would say, well, you know what, guys, COVID's over and, you know, we love to travel. We love to get out and go to different events and we love to meet people.

And it's been really great, you know, getting to know you and you've helped us, you know, get through this together. And we always have this friendship, but really our thing is getting out and about and meeting other people that requires a difficult conversation sometimes. Yeah. But I mean, it's your relationship and it's your journey, right? I mean, I think the worst thing you could do is to stay in a situation like that just to not hurt somebody's feelings because you're going to, here comes the word again, resentment is going to build up or worse.

The whole situation could start like wiggling into your marriage. Yes, exactly. um typically what we hear is that one of the pair has a stronger connection over time than another one of the pair. And if that's the case, the person, the individual of the couple that's not feeling that strong of a relationship gets a little bit envious that they don't have that. Right. So I think you can't, you can't be exclusive with somebody unless you are very open and honest. Correct. There's nothing wrong with being exclusive.

Like we, we have several friends that are in exclusive relationships and it's working for them and that requires an adult conversation too that requires somebody to say hey look um we really like being with you guys and and it sure does save us a lot of time and emotional energy would you guys like to be exclusive in this lifestyle thing and you could just be our lifestyle buddies and we could be that for you and that way we don't have to keep looking and you don't have to keep looking and if you're up for that you know let's talk about frequency and how much how long we want to get together and but i think very rarely does that conversation happen early on right in that type of situation now what I was originally thinking about when we were talking about this type of envy or jealousy was things that you and I have encountered.

Like, for example, what I thought of initially is, I don't know, it was probably like a month ago, we were, it was probably, it must have been a weekend night. And we got a group message from some friends of ours. And they were down. Three couples. Three couples. Who are very close with us. Yeah, we're good friends with all three couples. And they were down in the southeast somewhere. All six of them were together. And they did a group photo and then sent it to us and said something about it. And I think for the most part, we had introduced all of them. I know. That made it worse.

And I think they thanked us for getting them all together.

And I'm like, oh, well, if we're all friends with you and you're all having a good time and you're thanking us like why didn't you invite us i know but but the point is that the way i wish people would see your face when you said that because that's you were you were smiling because we're happy for them right but we're envious that we're not there with did i feel envy yes but you didn't get angry about it because they didn't include us no and i didn't like i wasn't butthurt that they left us out like they just all got together so what right i mean good for them right that's the whole point of the lifestyle right you know maybe next time they could remember to invite us but yeah you guys need to know that you know who you are but anyway like it that that's the beauty of the lifestyle and sometimes i think we lose sight of that well there's two ways that we usually handle that like when we have three or four couples that we're really close with there's one couple that we don't even discuss playing with other people and they don't either, but it's just, it's their business and it's our business and they never ask us and we never ask them.

And they talk about doing trips. So we went to the city for the weekend and we went back up to this club.

So we know that they have other friends, but it's not even worth them telling us who it is or anything about it because it's their business and we're happy for them it doesn't diminish the relationship we have with them at all and we do the same thing we're not celibate with you know we're with other people besides them and they know that too so we celebrate our special friendship when and i think one of the advantages also that that we have is that most of our friends, our close, close friends are not local. Yeah.

So that's another factor that plays into this because convenience is a really good reason why people get into the exclusivity thing, too. Yeah. You're just around the corner. Yeah. And I think I'm probably wackier about this than you are.

you don't even know what i'm gonna say i had to jump on that whatever it is i agree you don't know what i was gonna say now do you no see now i've forgotten oh so no i i intentionally steer away from having like super local friends like we have friends in the area you know within an hour or so here and there but um we i just intentionally stay away from that because i first of all i really like our local friends as friends and you know it could get messy so and complicated and then heaven forbid should it evolve into one of these situations that we've been talking about where you have to like dance around it or hit it head on to like solve the problem yeah of you know becoming too exclusive yeah and we have had people come to us and say okay we've we've been exclusive somewhat with the with these couples during this other couple during covid now covid is over and and we're going to a large event and they're going to be at that large event how do we navigate that yeah and it's the same thing you have to have conversation ahead of time.

And you have to say, this is what we expect from this vacation. This is why we're going. And if it's to be exclusive, then you should talk about that ahead of time so everybody's on the same page. But if it's not, you have to say, you know, we're looking forward to seeing you guys there.

But, hey, we want to meet some other people too and just get out and not you know be exclusive and but it takes some maturity you know to and and you have to really care about the people to have that relation that conversation because the easiest thing to do is just ignore it and hope that it doesn't become an issue because it's gonna it will become an issue yeah and then it's gonna ruin your weekend yeah or week or whatever you know whatever the situation is not only that but it just makes like if it if they're local and it's a club it's just awkward if you haven't resolved it so every time you go to the club or every time you go to an event and they're there it's awkward oh yeah we have friends that have just kind of shared that kind of story with us yeah you know that that they ended up in an awkward situation with somebody that's local and they keep running into them and it's just awkward.

And you know what? I hate to go here, but we even know of a situation where people have gotten jealous and angry or envious and then angry and then, you know, said some pretty nasty things about people, just like a domestic violence, you know? I mean, just like jealousy and anger, and they tell other people things about couples that aren't true. So, it's just always good to be upfront about... Honey, don't scare people. That was like a one... We've heard that once.

I'm just, yes just yes we have we have once we've heard that once but what i'm saying is the conversation ahead of time helps you resolve all of that and avoid all of that yeah most of it anyway well and but i mean honey how do you have a conversation ahead of time? Because this stuff creeps up on you. I know. So how, I'm being the devil's advocate, how do you know when to have the conversation? Because it's like, what do they call that, like scope creep, right?

Well, you have to be observant, and you have to be in the moment, and you have to be able to read the room, and you have to be able to read other people, there's going to come a time. Obviously, the first time you meet a couple, you have no idea if you're going to want to be exclusive or not. But I would say, let's just hypothetically say it's a COVID situation. They live a couple of miles away. It's convenient. We start seeing each other and all of a sudden we realize, wow, we're only playing with them.

In the past six weeks, we've only played with them and we've seen them four out of the last six weeks. What's going on here? And do we need to have a conversation with each other? And what do we need to tell them? So I'm not saying that you should be clairvoyant and know ahead of time, but I'm saying there's got to be a certain point in time where you realize exclusivity might be either implied or people start acting in a way that they're very possessive of you. That should be an indicator.

I'm not going to say a red flag because maybe it's not, but it's an indicator that something has changed and shifted. And first of all, you and I would need to talk about that. I mean, I don't know if you remember the time we were with friends and I'll see you next time.

it's something has changed and shifted and there and first of all you and i would need to talk about that i mean i don't know if you remember the time we were with friends and they started quizzing us on right whether we whether we would ever want to be exclusive and they didn't it was hypothetical it was hypothetical but it really got us to thinking about it well it made your oogie alarm go off it did it did because i was under the impression maybe that's what they wanted and i didn't want that you were crazy but yeah um yeah i think i think at some point you're just going to have to rely on instincts when things start feeling weird um that you know that's i guess that's the time to have a talk and it's just there's no prescription.

There's no set calendar. There's no set number of times that you played with them or whatever. It's just when things start feeling different. And the reason, number one, that people don't want to have that conversation is I don't want to hurt their feelings. Yeah. And I don't want to cause drama. But the truth of the matter is, first of all, they're going to feel what they're going to feel. The longer you wait, the more it's going to hurt. Yeah. So the earlier that you do it, the better.

Putting it off and putting it off and putting it off is just making it worse yeah so really what you're talking about isn't envy yours is just flat-out jealousy like i i'm no for you and i it's envy like you just described with our friends right what you're talking these scenarios that you're talking about where things turn from you know because of covid couples and and this and that where things turn exclusive when you know, because of COVID couples and this and that, where things turn exclusive when that's really what you didn't want to begin with. That's where the envy turns into jealousy.

I know. And isn't that a red flag for the couple themselves? Because if you have such an attachment to another man that you're getting jealous, that's a problem. Yeah. Why are you pointing your finger at me? Making a point, young lady. No, because we're beholden to no one. If I want to walk away, you should walk away. Yeah. You know, the more you get emotionally invested in somebody, the slippery, that's a slippery slope. And once you start going there, if there's true jealousy, then that's the type of relationship that has gotten to be more than just casual friends. Right.

That's all I'm saying. Well, I guess guess my where i'm headed with this because i'm back to the vocabulary lesson like envy is not necessarily a negative thing no no jealousy is you know resentment is yeah i think those are the three things that we focus on tonight right you know it's okay to be envious of somebody yes like i envied that sexy lady on the cruise ship that Thank you.

the three things that we focus on tonight right you know it's okay to be envious of somebody yes like i envied that sexy lady on the cruise ship that had that tiny waist and that amazingly perfect booty she heard you say that everybody heard me say that i think it was pitbull or something it got really quiet oh it was fireball that was the song yeah because they go fireball right and that pause right there right right that's when i said oh there's the lady with the amazing booty right then anyway i was envious of her booty yeah like um sure that's okay right um i was envious of our friends all being together yeah having a good time yeah um well am i them?

No. No, but that's what I mean. It's your response to the emotion that dictates how severe it is. If it's envy, you're like, oh, like you said, what did you do? You did that little puppy thing. Oh, I want to be there or I want to have a booty like that. But you're smiling about it. But about it. And, and, but, but if you get angry about it, or if you're hurt about it, then that's when you need to like have a talk with yourself. Yeah. Like there's something else going on here.

And you know, what we have mentioned to people that if people are getting jealous that are with you, that's probably an indication that they're not the right couple, you know, for you. Right. And back to our situation earlier where I had my rough streak, you know, we've talked a lot over the 90-something episodes about compersion. And what is compersion?

That's actually, that's a new vocabulary word for a lot of people, where you gain pleasure from watching your partner receive pleasure the opposite of jealousy is some what some people put it right yeah you know so i and i normally really enjoy watching you with other women you know i've i've always talked about how you're a very um like you're a very graceful person. Like, and it's just you, I know, like your, your body moves beautifully. And I normally like watching that.

So, um, last year when I was going through this phase and I realized I wasn't enjoying watching you, um, that was my red flag. Right. And it took a few tries to talk to you to get you to understand because I wasn't using the right words. Like I needed this vocabulary lesson before I talked to you because I wasn't choosing words that made sense to you. Yeah. And again, like we've been saying for 94 episodes, we're not talking about this because we get this right the first time we're talking about it because we screwed it up ourselves.

i just remember you saying what did i do wrong i'm like you didn't do anything wrong but you you're not like we're not in sync you know and you just wanted to know how to fix it which is a typical guy response right like if i'm being stereotypical like most men just want to be told what needs to be fixed and then they'll google it and go fix it easy right haha so when i couldn't i couldn't verbalize i couldn't articulate accurately what the problem was because i didn't know what the problem was i just knew i wasn't having fun and you were and it happened too many times and it turned into resentment right so that gosh that took a long time so figure out yeah but i think this the the speaking of guys and having to work for the solutions um the the solutions that we're talking about tonight are are sitting down and just going back square one.

Why are we doing this? What is our thing? And maybe your thing is evolving and needs to change, but you still need to talk about it. Well, it always is going to evolve. I mean, we've been doing this, what, eight years? And we're evolving and we're backpedaling and we're rethinking and we're doing things differently than we used to. It's working better. Yeah, so as we close, I mean, I think, again, I think it's worth repeating that we're adults and the lifestyle is an adult experience.

And as much as we would like to go back into adolescent and get jealous and butt hurt and angry, we're adults and we have adult relationships and we need to be able to, and I'm not saying you're not going to have the feelings. You're going to have the feelings, but just to understand, okay, I'm not understanding something. I'm feeling something. Step back, process it a little bit, talk about it a little bit. Like you were just saying, I mean, it took us a while to kind of get through that and then, you know, start to move forward again instead of, you know, lashing out at people or.

Well, or like me, I held it in for too long and I let my, I let my, you know, envy turn into jealousy and resentment yeah yeah it i i ended up all over the map before right i was able to articulate to you what i was feeling or what or what was missing right i guess you know so if if you're if you're looking at another couple and you're like oh you know we're all going to this big event together and I don't know how I'm going to feel if, you know, I see them play with someone else. Maybe you just need to talk to them about that and see what their plan is. Yeah.

And you don't have to tell them that you're jealous or you're envious. You can just say, hey, what do you think our plan should be for this event? Right. And just kind of keep it open-ended. Yeah. But you also have to have an idea of what your plan is going to be too, you know, to share. So you talk to each other first and say, this is what we want it to be, and then go to talk to them. Yeah.

The other thing to remember is when there's sex involved, these situations and these feelings are almost inevitable because sex is a very emotional act yeah so we've said from the beginning you're playing with fire um yes and so it's it's almost like it's all amped it's all amplified and it's raw sometimes because it's it's sex but again we have to put that in its proper. And I think that's why if you're newer to this, it's a little bit more difficult to do because it's overwhelming. This is all overwhelming. The highs are higher and the lows are lower. Exactly.

But I think once you get some experience, you can step back from it a little bit easier and see it for what it is. And initially, that's really hard to do do. And lastly, as you've probably learned by listening to us for the past 30 minutes or 94 episodes, nobody is immune to this envy. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we're not immune. I mean, I had jealousy. You were talking about envy. I mean, it can happen. And like you said, your lifestyle journey is evolving and maybe, you know, what your thing is, is evolving too. And you have to talk about that as a couple. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I think that's an important point. Um, you know, you're, you're in this together, but you all, you have individual emotions, right? So maybe one of you is more interested. Um, you know, you're, you're in this together, but you all, you have individual emotions, right? So maybe one of you is more interested in forming deeper connections with people than the other person is. Right. Um, and again, that's a slippery slope if you're not communicating about it. Yeah. If you're communicating, then you can, can work it out together. And if you're holding that in is, is not healthy.

And if you're not in this lifestyle yet and you're hearing us talk about these things um don't be too alarmed because you know this is a this is this journey is really a step at a time and so some of what we're talking about we don't want to scare people away but as you get into this and work through it you're going to develop the experience and the tool set and the communication skills to to deal with these types of things when they come up because they will come up yeah but i but i don't think you could you should overreact and you know have this worry about envy and jealousy you know ruining your your relationship because that's not what that's not what we're talking about anything else no i think we about beat that to death vocabulary lesson over you got a snapshot yes oh good then we'll we're going to take a very short break because normally our breaks are fairly long well mrs jones goes and tries to think of a snapshot but you got one tonight i do all right We'll be right back.

Back to snapshots. Yay. I guess I'd go first. Okay. You can go first. On our cruise, we, you know, we had this initial thought that, because these friends of ours are notorious for picking up a third at a bar or bringing people home with them that are not necessarily in the lifestyle. Yeah, they're skilled.

And so we went into this cruise thinking that they were going to show us the ropes well we were a little bit short-sighted because what happened was as the four of us started hanging out together just about every evening i think people could pick up obviously even if they didn't pick up the vibe that we're lifestyle that we're friends yeah. And that we were good friends because we always sat together at dinner and then we always sat together at the martini bar. It seemed like there were a lot of groups of people on the cruise. I didn't really see a lot of couples just as couples. Yeah.

So I think people looked at us and identified us as a quad. Yeah. As there are two couples that are good friends. Yeah. So I think it was the first night or the second night. Oh, no, it was the first night. The very first night. We had been on the boat six hours. So the four of us went to the martini bar. First night, just got on the ship. First time in the martini bar, the four of us, and we sat down.

And I don't know if it was our body language or if it was the configuration that we were oh i know what it was i know what it was i was sitting next to her and you were sitting next to him it was like a little love seat yeah with a conversation table and then two chairs yes so he and i were sitting on the love seat together and i mean we were just we were sitting properly like i was dressed properly i was behaving properly but we were sitting next to each other so what gave us away was when we ordered our drinks and she said i need your c pass card and mine had a different last name than hers and she and the and the waitress took our cards and she's got this big smile on her face.

And where was she from? Columbia. Columbia. She just says, are you all swingers? And she just came out with it. We have just got on the ship. I'm just ordering my first drink, and we're already outed. Are you guys swingers? And she said it with this big smile on her face.

You said, I have no idea what you're talking about as you were laughing oh yeah it was obvious and she said i could tell i could tell and she's like that's the little key over her lips don't worry my little secret my little secret and so we could not believe we were busted that early um but anyway we ended up coming back she was our waitress every night we'd come back and look for her and sit in her section uh she was so much fun yeah she was a lot of fun so my snapshot is just sitting there minding my own business i'm not holding her hand no we were just we were we were completely sober and and handing the cards up you guys are swingers oh my gosh what kind of cruise is this gonna be if she could pick it out i'm sure other people could too she teased us all week with our last names it was so funny i know yeah she kept inter intermingling our intermixing our last names well and then our waiter in the um the restaurant that we went to most nights oh yeah he he was the same way well and the photographer too yeah because the photographer okay that was funny you know how the photographers come around at dinnertime when they take your pictures and like the first night um he said, I want you two to get together.

And I was sitting across from you. Right. Um, but then I was sitting next to the other husband. And it's just the way we were. I mean, that would, that's normal. And anyway, he just assumed that, that the other husband was my partner.

Well, the way that you two leaned in on each other it was it was pretty obvious that you're a husband and wife and then we did the same thing and then we said oh well let's switch i want to get a picture with her and then the guy kind of cocked his head a little bit like a dog so when we would go look at our photo because then they had the photos on the computer and you put in your cabin number and the photos would come up. You never knew who was going to come up on the photos. There were just as many pictures of she and I together that there were for you and I together. Oh, that was so fun.

Yeah, that was fun. So that's my snapshot is being called out on the first night that we're swingers. Well, my snapshot was like the one time we got in trouble. And like, it didn't do anything wrong. First of all, our cabin, really, we only had neighbors on one side because we were right on the edge of where the side of the ship bumped out.

So we didn't have any neighbors neighbors forward we only had neighbors aft and we were wanted to have sex on the balcony one night who's we um i it wasn't me okay it wasn't you i know can we start over because we were all four inside the cabin right right and then you two got up and you actually wanted to go out on the balcony. So the two of you went out on the balcony. You left the door open, but you two went out on the balcony. Well, and when I first went out, I stopped and I listened to see if anybody was next door. Because that's what you always do. Well, I am paranoid. Yeah.

So I did listen, and there didn't appear to be anybody next door. And there wasn't anybody on the other side. So we're like, okay. And we were quiet. Like, honestly quiet. What were you doing? Describe the situation. You were in a chair. Yeah. He was standing in front of me. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And you were. I shouldn't have to draw this out of you after this many episodes. You were giving him a blowjob. Yes, I was. Okay. And finally, he said, I think I'm going to come. And I was like, well, do you want to? And he said, yes. And then after the minute he said yes, he's like, I'm not going to come.

I'm not going to come. And I'm like, okay. I had no idea what was going on. And anyway, he just kind of stood there for a minute and I'm looking up at him and he, and then he kind of nodded his head to like go back inside the cabin. So we did. And he's like, they flashed the lights at us. But when he, when he was saying that to me, he was whispering it. Like he, he didn't even like say it out loud. He whispered it. Whispered what? I'm going to come. Yeah. Yeah.

It wasn't like, like we were like being ridiculous like we were being really really quiet so i i have no the poor guy i don't even know what happened next door the poor guy because from our vantage point we had we had pretty much finished and we were laying in on the bed watching you two and then all of a sudden and we could tell that he was getting close but we couldn't hear what you were saying and then all of a sudden you stood up and you came in and then he started laughing and you didn't know what was going on no he said they started flashing the light on the porch and i'm going well first of all i felt bad for him because you're right there and And then all of a sudden the porch light starts flashing.

And then I'm thinking, if this was a lifestyle cruise, they would have either been cheering you on or they would have been out there watching. Right. They've been sticking their head around the partition. But we had this couple next door with this stick up their butt that got offended because somebody was out having fun with, you know, as far as they knew with their wife or their husband and had enough nerve to flash the lights to interrupt what you were doing. Right. Oh, but you know what? You know what busted us? What? It was the disco light. I had. Oh, yeah. We did have the disco light on.

Yeah. I have, you know, that the disco ball light that you travel with. We had that on in our cabin, and we had the curtains open. Right. Because, I mean, it was pitch dark outside. So I think it was the disco light. Because, like I said, we were whispering. I think so, too. They could not have heard what we were saying. We were perfectly quiet. Yeah, I think so, too. So, yeah.

So note to self, don't take the disco light on the next cruise yes it was fun a funny snapshot but it was also very sexy i really enjoyed watching watching you two both of us did and i remember that one yeah that wasn't the ambient day oh no the ambient day you were very clear. Your communication was better than it's ever been in bed. You were telling everybody what you wanted. So you're saying I need to take an Ambien before we record sometime? I think just for science, you need to take another one to see if that's what caused it. Because I've never seen you like that before.

The last time I saw you like that was at Desire after you had like eight or ten tequila shots but you had just started drinking i know that was it was weird and then you lost all i i swear somebody roofied me what it was but there was nobody on the deck that would have done that so yeah i i don't know it was crazy all right well i think that wraps up 94 um well, our community continues to grow. We'd love to have you. Please go to our website at wegotathing.com if you're interested in joining our community. Our regional groups are growing. We're starting to host and support events.

We got a thing, community events across the country, especially since the country's opening back up. We're really excited about that. Desire is up and running. The Dominican Republic Resort is almost nearing completion, I suspect. Actually, I am sitting in on a presentation from Desire this Wednesday.

They're going to talk to me all about Temptation DR and what's going going on there so i suspect that we are going to make plans to go there in 2023 with a group um so stay tuned and we'll give you more information i'm going there you can come with me if you want yeah i love the dominican republic okay i'm if you if you back out i'm gonna say go listen to 94 it's on tape no I can't wait i cannot wait but yeah but you can book your desire trip through us um yes we have a link where you can book any resort i guess right yeah yep is uh meet she's up and running i don't know for booking yet i think it is yes it is yeah Yes, it is.

Yeah, it is. Yeah, so email me at mrjones at wegotathing.com or me at mrsjones at wegotathing.com You can go to our website and fill out the Contact Us form and we can reply to you that way. We're on Twitter at wegotathing. And don't forget that we are on Double Date Nation, SDC, Cassidy, and Pinterest. Pinterest. Oh, you drink recipes from Pinterest. So, thanks for listening. We are Mr. and Mrs. Jones, and we got a thing. What's your thing? We'll see you next time.