Episode 149: How to Be a Power Couple in the Lifestyle

Transcript

Speaker1: This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey, you teenagers out there. If you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a longtime married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us? Hello, everyone. I'm Mr. Jones. And I'm Mrs. Jones. And we want to welcome you to episode 149 of the We Got a Thing podcast. You sure about that? No, that's the first time I've messed that up. In 149 episodes. Is it? Yeah. It's not the first time you've messed up the opening. No, but I usually can like get through the episode number before I mess up. This podcast is your idea. Yes. The topic is how to be a power couple in the lifestyle. Yes. And we will talk about that shortly. Get back to our roots a little bit and do a podcast with just the two of us. I know. It's been a while. I know. We're non-monogamous when it comes to podcasting, too. We share. Oh, I'm like, what are you talking about? Just a few things. We've been busy. Wait, we've been busy and it has not been family. Yeah, we've been fun busy. I know. Well, we've been busy, but it hasn't always. I mean, family is. obviously fun right but this is sexy fun busy yeah but a few um business items and then we're going to tell you a really cool story about a trip that we just got back from barely survived and if you notice my voice is messed up it's because i got sick on the trip and however i got sick it was totally worth it because everything was fine it was worth it i want to reiterate a couple of things we mentioned last or two episodes ago we have a new we got a thing information hub that is free It's very similar to a newsletter, only it's in our app. It's in our community. It's a living area where we will be continuously updating resources and information. So in lieu of a newsletter, we've created this information hub. If you want to join and check it out, like I said, it's free. Just go to our website, wegotathing.com, and you'll find it there. Newsletters are so last decade. I know. We're cutting edge. We're cutting edge. We're bleeding edge again, honey, after 12 years. Also, we mentioned a few months ago that we have a single guy space. If you're a single guy and interested in becoming better at what you do, then you can join our single guy space. And we also have a brand new how to talk to your partner about getting into the lifestyle space. These are very, very inexpensive, $5 each, one-time payment. It's not a subscription. We're trying to put some very specific, highly requested items in there to help people who may not want to join the whole community but need a little bit of help and guidance beyond the podcast. Yes. So that's also available on our website. And another thing that I haven't told you, you know, last time I said, hey, if you're a listener and you want to try our community, send me an email at MrJones at WeGotAThing.com. and I will send you a promo code to try it out to see if you like it. And we've had quite a few people take us up on that. Good deal. All right. That's the business. We got the business out of the way. Let's get to the fun stuff. Okay. Las Vegas. We went to Vegas, baby. Oh my gosh. We haven't been there in a few years. No, we were there last year. We were? Yeah. Oh yeah, we went to the Eagles concert. Right. Yeah. But this, well, it started out with one purpose that just more into event after event after event yes so last year about a year ago um i broke down and decided to be a good wife and mr jones and i bought a corvette yes and um unbeknownst to us when you buy a new corvette you get invited to a driving school out in las vegas and pahrumpf and pahrumpf nevada yeah yes which is about an hour west of las vegas out near Mount Charleston. It was a weird name for a town, but what a beautiful setting. Gosh, surrounded by mountains. It was this little valley and just surrounded by mountains. Mount Charleston had the snow cap on it, and you were racing around a track, and I'd be looking at you, and up above you was Mount Charleston every time I looked up. It was incredible. Yeah, it was beautiful weather. I think we need to take a pause, and I'm going to say real quickly, how I talked you into buying the Corvette. Oh, okay. Because I've worked on you for 18 months. Okay. Up, you know, not relentlessly, but every once in a while I'd bring it up and you would shoot it down. Right. Right. I'm the practical one in case y'all haven't figured that out. Well, your argument was we don't need another car and my response was, oh, I agree with you. This is not a need. Right. We didn't need another car and it's not even a grocery getter. It's not a go to the beach car. It's not a grocery getter. it's just a hunk of pretty metal yeah that's right and i agreed with you so that was never the issue right so anyway we stopped on the way to sam's club because there's no costco around here on the way to sam's club we went by the chevrolet dealership and there was one sitting out front well the stupid chevrolet dealership is right next to sam's club so we can't avoid it and it's it's a black one and it was a end of year it was a 2024 but this was february 2025 so they were trying to get rid of it they had marked it down. And then it was good fortune because when we first met, I had a black Camaro. The first time you ever, I think, saw me, I was in a black Camaro. Yes, you were in your car. So I got you in the Corvette. We put the top down and I said, oh, look, this is just like good old times. I was softening her up. It was working like a charm. You were saying, oh, yeah, this is nice. This is pretty cool. Yeah, this would be a lot of fun. And so I was like, cha-ching. Then the next day, you dropped the bomb on me that we we shouldn't get the car you said i don't think we should get the corvette and i said look i wasn't mean about it i was just again i just kind of laid it out there i didn't say you were mean about it just because you portray yourself as being mean in this story you're going to be redeemed at the end so hang with me and i said look if every time you open the garage door you're going to be pissed off and in a bad mood because you see this car out there then i don't want it i'll get over it i'm a big boy you know i'll pout for a couple of days and then we'll go on with life and that's what you said okay so a couple days later we were eating dinner and you said i have to tell you something well i had a dream the night before no you said i think you should buy the corvette i said yeah i think i think you should go ahead and buy the corvette because i said i had a dream last night that i woke up so in my dream i woke up i had i was laying in bed and i woke up and i was alone And I guess it was evident to me that you had passed away. So I was living here in this house, but I was by myself. And like my first thought was in my dream, how selfish of me to not, you know, encourage Mr. Jones to get like the one toy he ever asked for, because we're actually a very practical couple. I mean, we've bought some like really nice houses and we did buy an RV, but those are things that that we bought together that were on the extravagant side. But I've never asked for a super expensive piece of jewelry. And you don't have any toys. You've never done motorcycles or four-wheelers or sports cars or anything like that. So this is like your one toy. And it was, I mean, dang, you just retired. It should be your retirement gift to yourself. Yeah, exactly. So I explained that to you. And it was like, okay, so this was like six o'clock on wednesday night right so at 10 o'clock on thursday morning might have been a little earlier well you had to wait until they open to call them first to make sure they still have the car nine o'clock so okay so at nine fifteen it was nine oh two he comes into my office and he's like well they still have the car and i'm like all right and he's like all right as in we're gonna buy it and i'm like all right well she couldn't say yes Yes. She just kept saying, all right. We owned the car six hours later. Six hours later, the car was like, we were driving home. Yeah. So you did not let any water flow under that bridge. There was no cooling off period for me. Yeah. Well, anyway, it worked out in my favor. Yes, it did. And I wasn't going to let any grass grow from the time you said to buy it. So I've had it for a year. So I got an invitation. and we said we're going to go out to the school and we have friends that we have friends that own a house out there and coincidentally they were going to be out there so they said well you all can stay with us and we'll just make a weekend of it so then we went out uh we flew out on a thursday and a few years ago we so thursday night we went to spearmint rhino which is a really it's a high-end gentleman's high-end gentleman's club and so the other couple went with us and We went there a few years ago and we talked about this the first time that we went there. But this time we got our own little section. They had a really good deal for bottle service. So we got a bottle of vodka and we had our own waitress and we were right up front. And the first young lady that approached us and sat down and started talking with us was very experienced because she didn't come right up and say, can I give you a lap dance? She sat down and invested time. And we all knew going in that her job is to extract as much cash as possible. Right. And since it wasn't our first rodeo, first of all, we had cash with us, so we didn't have to use our ATM. Right. And second of all, we took the amount of cash that we were willing to part with. Right. And left the rest back at the house. Right. Right. So after about 15 or 20 minutes, she finally said, are you interested in a lap dance? And I said, well, yeah. Yes, we are. So we got the $100 package, which I don't know how many lap dances it was. It was three songs for $100. Yeah, but it seemed like she stayed a little bit longer than that, unless the songs were long. Well, you know, at the clubs, they just play that nice, chill music that all kind of blends into each other. So I don't really pay attention, especially when I'm distracted by a beautiful young lady grinding on me. So she was, I said, you need to give Mrs. Jones a lap dance. And so she went over there. And unlike last time, you didn't stop and try to talk her into going to college and settling down with the family. Well, you know what? She told me she was 29 years old. I think she's turning 30 next month. And she had worked there for 10 years. So I think she was pretty satisfied with her current situation. I think she's making good money. And she, the thing about those types of clubs is I think they're very, they're well run and well monitored. So, you know, as safe as the girls can be in that, in that environment, I think it's a pretty good situation for them. So anyway, she gave us you a really nice, two really nice lap dances. Yes, she did. And yeah, did she take her top off the first time? No, it was the second time. Yeah, she left her top on. We paid her more than once. I know. Then she came over and gave me a lap dance. And it got, you know, I know y'all can roll your eyes, but in my mind, she was really into it. She's very good at what she does. She was questioning her profession. She was questioning her professionalism. She didn't know if she was going to be able to control herself. This is all in my mind, right? Which is what they want you to think. So you'll come off the catch. That's right. So we had, it was really hot and heavy. She thanked us. She sat there for a few more minutes. We gave her a drink of not alcohol. but gave her a drink of one of our mixers and she sat around for a little while and then she said i'll talk to you guys later and she got up and left then maybe 20 30 minutes later well we were there for a few hours i think the time went by she came back yeah sat down again and then she put the full court press on me and told me how much it was to go into the back room well i wasn't gonna do that was ridiculous we're not going into the back room well i told her so when she suggested that i And our friends had connected with another girl, a different girl. Another cash extractor. Yeah. And they ended up telling her that we all were in the lifestyle. And then that girl was fascinated. So then their girl sits down and starts asking them questions. She was really interested in how it all worked and everything. So then my girl heard that. Our girl. Oh. Go ahead. I shared her a little bit. You go ahead. I came over and danced for you. I had asked her to go over. Not that she didn't want that. I threw you a bone. You got the leftovers. She started asking us questions about being in the lifestyle. When she asked us if we wanted to go back to the private room with her, I'm like, you know what? I said, we're here with our friends and we don't really get to see them very often. I know we're going to connect and have fun with them at some point. So I said, we've already got plans for that kind of stuff. I said, we're just here for some fun. And she said, I totally respect that. And I think that's amazing. So she didn't like stomp off because she wasn't going to get extra cash from us or anything. No. Then she came over to me, got some more money from me. Right. And then she went back over to you and you both started making out. Well, she was really, she was really great. she took her top off her bra off and then i said something about i said well now that you know that i'm in the lifestyle and i like girls i said i'm just going to tell you right now i would really love to kiss you right now but i know it's not okay and she said oh it's okay and she kissed me yeah so yeah yeah that was hot yeah and she was grinding on you for a while and then then she you all pulled me over next to you And then she was laying across both of us. Right. And she was taking our hands and putting them everywhere on her. Mostly your hands. Yeah, mostly my hands. And it got really steamy. Yeah. And then she tried one more time. And I said, that's all the cash. I said, this is all I have. So you stay as long as you think you need to stay. But this is going to be it. And she stayed for a while. Yeah, she did. And she got, she was sweaty. Well, she sat down and well, when she was done, she had another drink with us. She was sober. So like the other girl that our friends were with, like she did accept a cocktail. Yeah. So I think they're allowed to accept cocktails, but our girls didn't drink alcohol. So she was just drinking our cranberry juice. Yeah. Anyway, it was a lot of fun. It was very sexy. It got us all charged up, which is, you know, which was nice. Yeah. Started the, started the trip off. Yeah. And it was another probably 2 or 3 in the morning. And we had traveled that day. We do this all the time. We say we're not going to stay up. Every time we go to Vegas, we hit it hard the first night with a time change and everything. It's like a 22, 24-hour day. Right. So then the next day, Friday, we went to see the Eagles again at the Sphere with our friends. So that was a lot of fun. Still did not disappoint. No, that was a lot of fun. We've already seen them once. It was still absolutely amazing. And they changed it up a little bit. Yeah. So we did that. And then Saturday, we learned, we did realize that the AVN Expo was that weekend, the Adult Video Network. I think that's what it stands for. So we all decided to go, let's go to the AVNs. And boy, that was an eye-opener. Yes. They had everything there. Everything that you could think of. They had everything and they had every genre of porn star there, whether it was body size or skin color or I saw the biggest boobs I've ever seen in my life. Big boobs, no boobs. I mean, just every porn category you could think of, they were represented there. And then we've caught up with our friends at STD Hero. Yes, they had a booth there. So that was a treat because we just podcasted with them a few episodes ago, but we hadn't met in person, so we had to meet them. But the creepiest thing were these life-size Like, I guess they were supposed to be sex humans, sex dolls, but they weren't blow-up. They looked real. There were some that were robots and then some that were just like sex dolls, I guess. Yeah, they were creepy looking. Well, they felt creepy because it was more lifelike than a silicone sex toy, but it was squishy like a silicone sex toy, but I can't explain it. It was weird. It was creepy. It was weird. And they weren't warm. So it almost felt like human flesh, but then it wasn't warm. So it felt like a dead human. I don't know. I've never felt a dead human. But it was weird. The thing that creeped me out most about them is the eyes. Because obviously it's not real. So it can't look you in the eye. And it looks like something out of a horror movie. So I can't imagine getting turned on and actually enjoying. to like make friends with it first you know how you know how cats have to check people out and it takes a while before they'll get affectionate like that sex doll would have to like spend some time in my house and i'd have to like build a relationship with it first before i could touch it it's creepy anyway it was an experience yes um i don't know that we'll go back but we can say that we've been to the avs well i mean i don't know that we'd make a special trip out there but we were already there and it was like hey right yeah so that was That was Friday. So then Saturday, our friends were out there for business reasons. And so they invited us to a business event. So we did that with them, which will come into play later when we talk about our topic for tonight. Because that evening, after we reflected on it. Well, you and I had so much fun. Oh, it was a lot of fun. We didn't know anything. We're not very familiar with the industry that they're in. And, you know, we just were kind of along for the ride because I had extra seats at this dinner. That was great. We had a blast. Yeah, we met a lot of people. We pretended like we belonged there. We had nothing to lose. People were introducing themselves. We were networking like we knew what we were doing. And there was some attractive people there. You met a friend that you talked to, a new friend for a long time. And it was just a really fun evening. that we did with them, and that was Saturday. Sunday afternoon, we went to a brewery, and then by that time... I took a nap after that. Yeah, Mrs. Jones started taking a dive, so we went back home and slept for at least two hours. I'm not the only one that slept. No, I took a nap, too. I think all four of us did. Yeah, and we stayed in. That was our hot tub night, and well, we stayed in until we wanted late night pancakes. Yes, we found the best pancake place at What, 2.30 in the morning or something stupid like that? Again, but at least we got some sleep. Yeah. So then that takes us to, so then Monday morning we had to get up and drive to Pahrumpf, Nevada, to check into the driving school. And the driving school experience was amazing. These guys are professional drivers. They are great instructors. We had beautiful weather. The cars are amazing. It was a small class. You got lots of individual attention. I am not an aggressive driver. I enjoy the car, but I'm not a racer. So I was probably one of the more hesitant drivers at first. But the more I learned about the car and the course and all of the little things that we did, you know, the braking exercises and the figure eights and wet surfaces and the serpentine turns and autocross. I mean, once we learned all the little skills and then went out on the track and learned the track, I started figuring out the physics of it and the angles and how the car felt. And it really helped when we, I went along in the passenger seat with the professional driver and I realized how much the car could do. Yeah. That's when I think I really started, you know, being a little bit more aggressive behind the wheel. The cars are so safe now because like everything's computerized and it, it knows how to when you do something it knows how to react to that and keep you on the road yeah well i have a new respect for any kind of uh competitive driver because you have to concentrate 100 of the time and we only did like 10 laps at a time and you're exhausted when you come out i mean just mentally the energy it takes to stay focused stuff is coming at you of course it's all new and so there's not a lot of is involved in it. It's concentrating and knowing when to gas, knowing when to brake. And here comes it. And this mile and a half course had nine different turns in it. So you never really got, there was one straight away, but mostly it was a lot of turns and you just can't lose focus. So I have a lot of respect for these drivers. It was so fun. Like I got to go as a guest. I didn't get to drive a car, but like it was a two day course. And each day, one of the the instructors would take me out as a passenger and like the first day they drove that like my my instructor was like well like are you are you nervous do you get motion sickness and i'm like no i don't get motion sickness but i am not the bravest person in the world so he's like all right he's like we'll go about 50 i'm going to show you about 50 percent of what your car can do because they and they also pair you to a car that's exact same like what is it like love level what is it uh It's a model. Yeah. Whatever model you have, because there's all these different levels of stuff, packages and such. So anyway, he's like, I'm going to show you 50% of what your car can do. And we were going so fast. But what blew my mind was that he was either flooring it or he was breaking hard. Yeah. Like there's no coasting on a racetrack. Right. You know, and you don't like, you don't coast and well, you, but you break hard. into a turn so that you can coast through the the turn itself right so that you can get the nose pointed properly to floor it again right until you hit the next turn and it's time to slam on the brakes again like it was crazy pretty chaotic crazy yeah so it was fun um anyway coincidentally and those of you who listened to our episode 105 will remember a couple that we had on that podcast it was an and that's who we were with. And they told a story in that episode about them getting into the lifestyle. And the first thing that they did was they visited a brothel in Nevada. Coincidentally, the brothel they visited was like five minutes or ten minutes from the school, the Corvette school. Yeah. So they came out Monday night and the four of us went to dinner and then we went to Sherry's Ranch brothel and sat in there. It was, of course, it was a Monday night so there was nobody in there but we just wanted to go to have the experience we met the hostess had a few drinks sat at the bar she asked if we wanted a tour and we said no not yet we just want to kind of sit here and enjoy you know company and the girls were coming in and out every once in a while but it wasn't like the strip club you know they didn't come up to us and try to solicit anything yeah yeah it was a nice place it was yeah it was out in the middle of freaking nowhere I know it was a nice place so Anyway, then we drove back to Vegas, stayed one night and playing at Hollywood and hopped the plane and came back. So we were gone for a week, but it was good to be home. We packed it in, that's for sure. Yeah, so it's really fun. Like you said, November and December, it's kind of family time and holiday time, and it was really nice. Now that you've eliminated one of your clients and you have more time to travel. I know, yeah, I know. It's been nice. I have more time around here. We're getting ready to go away for the of February. Yes. We're going to go to George's new resort. Yep. For Valentine's Day. It's going to be so special. Valentine's Day. So we'll be talking about that probably in March, our trip out there. And then we're going on the Devious Dragonfly Virgin Cruise when we get back from Jamaica. Yep. So we got a lot of fun things. Yes, we do. All right. Well, when we come back, we're going to talk about how to be a power couple in the lifestyle and the story behind the topic. Welcome back to segment two where we're going to attempt to talk about what it's like to be a power couple in the lifestyle or what it's like to aspire to be a power couple in the lifestyle. Yeah, what it takes and what a power couple is. So do you, this was your topic idea. why don't you tell everyone how you came up with this idea well so we went to to this work event with our friends and like we said we didn't know anybody and you know they were they were like meeting and greeting because they knew a lot of the people there i think they were a little concerned that we were going to feel out of place right that we were going to because it was their people their company and they had and they had people they had to like they were glad hand and meet and greet and all that stuff so so they didn't want to babysit us no and Well, first of all, one of their employees was there. And so we got to meet him. And we have a strange kind of family connection. Like our niece is like really indirectly connected. To the industry. Right. So our niece was at a wedding and this guy knew of the wedding. So it was really weird. The world can be like so small. It's crazy. So we were talking to the employee about all of that. And then we just started like meeting other people and talking. And I don't know. It was kind of fun. I mean, we had people come and we were dressed nicely. There was a dress code and we dressed for the evening. And what I love to do is I love to meet our lifestyle friends. I love to meet their families or in this case, their co-workers. Because it just shows you a different side of them. Yeah. And it's fun to see them through another lens. So there was one couple in particular that they worked with that we ended up sitting next to at dinnertime. And it was fun getting to know them. Yeah. They were an attractive couple. Yeah. And you talked to her for a long time. But we were appropriate, honey, because it was the setting. But we were friendly. We were adults. Yes. At a chic event with alcohol and food. food. So it's not like there's some gray area between Ozzie and Harriet and having sex with other people. So it was an adult evening and we were very comfortable in this situation. And anyway, people were coming up to us like we were in the industry and we were faking talking like we were. I mean, it was a lot of fun. Yeah, like nobody wore name tags. So it wasn't like everybody else had name tags on. like representing their company or their division or whatever. And then we didn't. You know, it was like nobody had name tags on. So people might have thought that we were business owners. Yeah. Who knows? So anyway, after the event, when we were on our way home, our friend said, man, I was wondering if you guys were going to really have a good time. I was worrying about this. But as I watched you, you two were just a real power couple. Right. We were like, oh, wow. We were like, that's a compliment. What? I like that. So the more we thought about what a power couple means. So we were, the last night we were in Vegas and we were by ourselves at a bar before we went to bed and crashed. We were talking about that. We were joking around about that. Wow, they called us a power couple. Like we're feeling pretty good about ourselves. And then we, and then I said something about, well, you know, that's kind of what it takes to be successful in the lifestyle. And you're like, And then I had your attention and you're like, ooh, tell me more. And then we were like trying to remember all this stuff so that you could come home and make an outline. Yeah. But the bottom line is that in the lifestyle, if you're going to be successful, you know, AKA a power couple, you've got to like put yourselves out there. You can't shrink in a corner like you and I were so good at it. you've just really got to put yourself out there and introduce yourself to people and... Right. So we came up with four different... Attributes. Yes, thank you. Four different attributes. Three of them start with a C. The fourth one, we couldn't think of another C. We couldn't. Oh, we tried so hard. So it's an A. If you could come up with a fourth C word for us when we get to it, let us know. So anyway, it's connected, curious, confident. and approachable. Yeah, approachable kind of blew it. Yeah, but it really is the best description of what you need to be. So we're going to talk about each one of these four things and hopefully take some notes because we've learned a lot of what we lived out that evening. Networking, we learned all of that from being in the lifestyle. Pretty much. For 12 years. And we also know, like, just reflecting back, like, what we've not what we've done wrong, but what we haven't been good at that we've had to work on. Yeah. You know, so, and I, and I think these four things are key. Yeah. Okay. Let's start with connected and connect. I'm going to give like the inverse of each one of these two. So you're not individuals. You're not two individuals. You're connected as a couple. I think that's the converse, but yeah, go ahead. No, those are shoes. What's inverse? Inverse is when you just flip them. Invert them? Yeah. Okay. Converse is when you negate. Yeah, that doesn't work. It's the opposite. It's when you negate it. Okay. All right. Thanks for the... Trust me. I don't know. Is this a math lesson or a vocabulary lesson? Both. Okay. See how connected we are? And so what does that mean? Okay, if you think of being at an event, just being physically close to each other, and being affectionate to each other, you're acknowledging each other, you're in the same frame as somebody's looking at you. You're talking to each other, we're touching each other, or I have my arm in the small of your back, or whatever it is, but people look at us, or they look at a couple that's connected to each other. and they know you're connected which is huge well and and it's not just being like physically connected it's being like mentally connected as well like you know when we're sharing a story yeah you know we're both participating in sharing that story yeah you know and i i think that shows a good connection as well right um and and also being on the same page you know that we both want to be there we both know our story we both know what we're we're interested in for that evening we're both on the same page as even being in the lifestyle yeah and we both want to be at the event so being on the same page you come across as again connected like-minded and you just mentioned this balance like like you and i have been doing this thus far i mean i'm not the only one telling the story we're both telling a story you're correcting me and helping me define what i'm talking about because we've been married 41 years yeah but it's the back and forth it's the balance and again that shows you're a connected couple and then show show everyone that you enjoy being together just smiling and you know what it's like like think about the opposite again when you go to an event and you look across a restaurant or the room and you see a couple and they're both on their phones they have scowls on their faces they're eating their dinner separately they they one of them or both of them don't really want to be there. They're just not enjoying each other's company. Well, more so than at a dinner. I mean, this was a work event. So this was like primo opportunity for someone to not want to be there. You know, one of the partners to not want to be there, right? They get drug along to the work event, so to speak. Yeah, you're showing support for your spouse. So anyway, that's connected. Yeah, and our friends are super connected as well. They are. They're a great couple representing, you know, the business that they're in. Well, if you think about it, all the good close friends we have in the lifestyle are connected. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's what we're attracted to. Exactly. All right. All right. The second one is curious. So you want to be curious and not hesitant. And this is hard to do at first. You mentioned standing in a corner like we did. Curiosity means, you know, you're genuinely interested in something. seeking out answers like you want to put put your toe in the water you don't have to jump into the deep end but you have to show some curiosity like what is this all about we're excited about it initiating new conversations about well what if we did this or what if we went and talked to that couple or hey what do you think about doing this just being having a curious outlook right and then when you do approach a couple like ask them questions don't just talk about yourself I mean, at some point, we all have to give our little elevator speech, I guess, but you don't need to spend all of your oxygen telling people about yourself. Ask them questions and draw them in, and then in turn, if they find you interesting and attractive, then they'll ask you questions, and then you'll have your opportunity to share, right? But be curious first. Yeah. And be willing to try new things. I mean, that's what the lifestyle is. It's a new thing. Yeah. And so it's full of new things. Always. Even after 12 years. So be curious about that. Seeking out new friendships or just new acquaintances. Maybe that's a better word. You don't have to be friends with everybody. Just like at this event, everybody we met is an acquaintance and we are interested in knowing people. So just the curiosity about where are you from? What do you do? You know, how long have you been together? You know, just the curiosity. And when people see that you're curious, they're going to remember you because you just didn't talk at them. Right. You know, you engaged with them with some curious, some genuine curiosity. Well, and like, you know, in a lifestyle setting, if you're curious and you're asking them questions, they're probably thinking, wow, I think they're interested. Yeah, they're interested. Right. Exactly. Okay. Connected and curious. The third one is confident. And this is a slippery slope because it's confident but not arrogant. Oh, I got that one in at the brewery yesterday. Well, you were pretty proud of me. Oh, that was two days ago. Sorry. Yeah. But when you come up with the title of a podcast that how to be a power couple, that can seem a little arrogant. I know. I know. So they have to listen to find out that we're not being arrogant. Yeah. We're trying to be. So this is what we're striving for, people. This isn't the way we are. And, you know, a lot of people just say, you just need to be confident. Well, you just can't flip a switch and be confident. So easy to say. Yeah. So you have to practice. And how do you become confident is that you act like you belong there. I mean, we were not imposters. It wasn't our industry. We didn't really fake anything. But we were acting like we belonged, you know, that we should be there. Because I wanted to be there. I wanted to figure it out. I wanted to meet people. And I wanted to learn about the industry. And it was just really interesting. Yeah. Right. So act like you belong until you do. Yeah. Yeah. Be interested in others. You kind of touched on this with curiosity. But, you know, genuine interest is more than just what do you do, where are you from, and do you want to go to bed? You know, so it's just asking the follow-up questions. so that people know that you're listening to them and that confidence is that confidence comes through like wow you really you you really want to be here and you're commanding my attention have the attitude that you are having fun i mean nobody wants to be around somebody that is not enjoying themselves and so even if you know this is almost like another fake it until you make it you know you and i have been to a lot of events in the lifestyle where we walked in and we were like oh oh my gosh we are in the wrong place yeah but then we would say you know what we just have to meet one couple let's just make let's just try to meet one couple let's take something from this so this we're going to be confident that no matter what the situation is that you and i are going to have fun number one and we're going to find somebody in here to talk to yeah to get to know well this is what you do all the time on friday nights when we go out and we sit at the bar right i mean this is like It is like your playbook. It is. Because you will walk into a bar and like my tendency is I just, oh, there's two open seats. I'm going to sit there. You don't. You stand there for a few seconds and you assess the situation. Yeah. Yeah. Where do I want to sit? And then you strategically will place us where there's a couple that you think is interesting looking. Right. And then I look for a natural in. Yeah. the hat she has on, the shirt he's wearing. I listen, especially if you're at the bar, you overhear their conversations about where they're from or something that's interesting. And then you say, hey, I noticed your hat or hey, I heard you guys talking about this. I hope you don't mind. I need to ask. You're not just interrupting and saying, hey, you two are cute. Do you want to talk? It's more listening and that confidence that when you come I don't know that we've ever had somebody turn and walk away from us because we have the confidence that and I have to say the two of us together make that happen because if I'm by myself at the bar I'm not doing that because you come across as being creepy or if I wait until you go to the restroom yeah you know then they're like oh yeah his wife walks away and he's flirting with my wife or whatever well and there's two of us too because some you know you're this sounds weird but like You're eavesdropping on their conversation. I like to hear something that I feel like I can interject and add to that conversation or ask them a question about it. Like if they're on vacation or if we're on vacation and ask a question because they're locals or something. We try not to be creepy when we do it. Well, I think that's what we did at Spearmint Rhino too. She sat down next to me, but when I kept bringing you into the conversation, She came over and sat next to you. And then I didn't ignore you two, but I was just watching the dancing. I was letting you two connect because I wasn't going to be the creeper that's going to... See, I wish I could have videoed you watching me while she was dancing on me. Oh, yeah. That was really sexy. You were like... You had my attention. You were pretty happy. I turned my chair. I turned my chair towards you. You did. And you were just... just sitting there and you just had this silly grin on your face yeah yeah well that's money right there that's the money shot and you were looking at when you make eye contact with me when you're when you were with her that's yeah that's distracting all right that was a tangent sorry folks yeah no no but i think as a couple though and she was more comfortable and confident being with us because you were i wasn't driving the you weren't there as my woman You know, I wonder if that's why she sat down and talked to us first. Instead of just, you know, maybe if you would have been there by yourself, she would have been a little more direct. But maybe that's what they do when that couple comes. They probably have to kind of like assess the situation. Like, is the wife going to be okay with this? Does the husband want the wife to have the dance? Or does the wife want to watch the husband get a dance? Or like, are there going to be any little like red flags popping up? Right. And then when it's me. That's got to be extra work for them, honestly. And when we were at the bar, the bar that I'm thinking of the night that we met that couple recently, I start with the husband. Yeah. Because I want to disarm him. Right. Right. And I want he and I to have a connection. And then you're listening in and then his wife comes into it. But it wasn't like I'm trying to just meet his wife. Yeah. Yeah. So having that attitude of let's just have fun and let's get to know people. and step out of your comfort zone and try it right and i think because we we do it together that i think that makes us come across i mean i know we're talking about confidence right now but it also i think just like i said earlier with about the stripper like it disarms people because they're we don't really project like an ulterior motive they let their walls down yeah and you and then you get to know what they're really like yeah we can't talk about confidence without talking about physical appearance. And we want to draw the delineation. That's maybe going to teach me a different word here. The difference between sexiness and physical beauty. Because if a man and a woman or a couple, if you're dressed to the part, you're comfortable in your own skin, you're connected, you're curious, When we went to this event with our friends, you had a black leather dress on. And I had a black sport coat on. And you looked very sexy. And when a couple or a woman to me looks very sexy, that enhances their physical appearance. The first thing you might notice is the physical appearance, but when there's a sexiness behind that, you're like, Like she's sexy. She's really prettier than I imagined that she was because of how she's carrying herself and what she's wearing. So that confidence when you feel, you know, you, I make fun of you just like a lot of husbands do, because when we're getting ready to go out, you're in there trying three different dresses on and two different pairs of shoes. And I know it's real, but you say, I want to wear something that I feel confident in. I want to wear something that I feel good about myself in. And we won't get into the moods. I know. I'll feel sexy in it one day, and then I'll go to put it on the next day, and I'm like, nope, not today. And I don't understand it. I can't explain it, and neither can probably the vast majority of the females listening. I digress. What I'm saying is that when you're wearing something that you feel sexy in, it comes out. And when both of you, and this goes back to the nine-to-five couples, and we've seen a lot of that, especially in this area where the woman is dressed really nice and the guy has a t-shirt and a ball cap on right those things don't go together that's not a sexy couple i mean he may be a cute guy but i think it's a he's disrespecting her and maybe it's an age thing i know everybody wears ball caps these days well and in the right setting that's fine yeah but you know if it's if you're out for the evening i think maybe unless you're at a dive bar which we do but if you're not at a dive bar Yeah, you need to dress. You need to balance. The couple needs to match. I think that that's part of how people see you. We were talking about being connected as a couple. I think you need to not matchy-matchy your attire because when we get too matchy-matchy, you go change. As far as the vibe you're putting off with your outfit. And of course, this is a generalization and I get in trouble for this, but generally speaking, we need to trust our partners, guys, when it comes to what to wear. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, we won't dwell on that. That's a whole different topic. Yes, it is. So be connected, be curious, be confident as a couple. And the last one that we don't have a C word for is approachable. So you want to be approachable and not aloof. And we talked earlier about the difference between being confident and being arrogant. Because confidence, I don't know about you, but confidence draws me in and arrogance just immediately pushes me away. Yeah, yeah. I'm really, because I am an introvert, it takes energy for me to approach somebody anyway. And then if they're putting off like this arrogant vibe, then I just can't do that. So like give me an example of when, what does a guy do or a girl or a couple that kind of, makes you think arrogance is the first thing that comes to mind i think that arrogance comes across with language you know the aloofness that we're talking about as far as being approachable i think being aloof kind of i think that's body language because you're seeing somebody kind of from afar you know and and if they have like a closed-in body language to them then i'm just like yep i don't think they want me to come over there and bother them. As far as confident, that fine line between confidence and arrogance, that usually comes when you start talking to somebody. And I mean, y'all know it's a fine line that gets crossed and all of a sudden you're just like, wow, he feels pretty highly or thinks pretty highly of himself or herself. And then I'm like, ah, that's just, the whole confidence and arrogance and approachableness, that's not a word. And we're not, neither one of us are doing very well with that vocabulary tonight. Again, math major, not English, I apologize. But as far as being approachable, or not approachable, I think they're kind of like intertwined. Yeah. And also, standing in a corner is not, you're not approachable. Right. Unless you're looking like a little sad puppy dog. Unless somebody's saving you. And then I'm going to feel sorry for you and maybe come over and talk to you. But if you're standing in the corner with your arms crossed and a couple's standing in the corner and they're looking down and they're not talking to each other, then you're like, okay, well, either one of them doesn't want to be there and the other one's irritated about it or they're both scared to death. Right. You know, something's clearly going on. So you're identified as a newbie and people don't want to have, you know, to take, to use the energy necessary to draw you out because it takes a lot of time. Yeah. And just making eye contact and smiling and don't, not like staring, but, you know, just again, the eyes say a lot. So just making eye contact with somebody that you're speaking with directly or somebody across the room makes you tell them, hey, I know you. Now, what you do with that is up to you. But I want you to know that I noticed you and I'm having a good time. And I think that makes you more approachable. Yeah, for sure. And then if you're in a group, opening your circle. I mean, we do this a lot at Desire. We're all in the pool. And of course, everybody gets in a circle. And then what do we do? Right, because you're trying to hear each other. As we open the circle. We open until it gets too big and then we split into two circles. Yeah, I try to keep an eye out for, you know, couples that are walking. by. They've gone to the pool bar to get a drink, and then they're kind of walking by, and they're looking over. We'll try to, and I think most of our friends do the same thing. They try to open up the circle and draw people in. But sometimes you just don't notice. It isn't that you don't want to. Right. And ask open-ended questions. I mean, we talked about that when we were talking about curiosity, but when somebody's shy or they're not very confident and you ask them a follow-up question, they're going to think, wow, they think I'm interesting. Yeah. And they want to be here. So then I'm more likely to engage with them and give them something back and try to break that ice and, you know, be a little bit more comfortable myself. Yep. Okay. Well, how to become a power couple? Well, that's up to you all. Right. You know, we're still working on it. Practice. I think we're getting ready to go on a semi-vanilla cruise with Virgin. We enjoy regular cruises because it gives us a chance to meet interesting people. We don't necessarily are going to have sex with them, but we love going to bars in our local area and just trying to meet people. So it doesn't have to be lifestyle environment only where you practice this becoming a power couple. each other. Just encourage each other and say, hey, I can't do this without you. We're a team. Like you were saying earlier, one of us has to get the other one out of the corner. We're both going to stand there all night. You know, and you have to be vulnerable. This is a catch-22. You want people to notice you, but you're hesitant to share anything being personal because you don't want people to know you it's really a difficult kind of space to stand into but at certain point in time if you're if you're with somebody that's interesting and they're being and they're connected and they're curious and they're approachable and all that you've got to come off of some information you've got to be a little bit vulnerable and say hey this is who we are or this is what we're interested in or let me ask you some questions you know you have to be and i think vulnerable being vulnerable is being sexy anyway. How to become a better power couple. Don't judge or dismiss others because you can't judge a book by its cover. Right, right. And there's always another viewpoint with that couple. You know, there's always another side of the story or, you know, they could have just gotten a text message from a kid that, you know, somebody's at home with the babysitter and has a fever or, you know, you can always catch people at the wrong time. So just because they might not seem like super approachable in the moment that you approach them, maybe that's not like a true indicator of who they are or their interest level in you. So, you know, just give some grace in that regard and hopefully you'll be able to run into them at a different point in time. I mean, and approaching other people, back to Sherry's brothel, there was an elderly gentleman who had a retired military cap on, and he looked like he was probably in his 80s. And I went up to get a drink, and I said, it looks like you're the mayor of this place. And the bartender started cracking up. And so I went over. Again, he's an older gentleman, nothing to do with the lifestyle, but he smiled. when I said that, and I went over and introduced myself, and I probably talked to him for 10 or 15 minutes. You did. A very interesting, and he really appreciated me coming over there and spending time with him, you know, and it gives me that practice of what it's like to break the ice and talk to a stranger no matter what the setting is. Anyway, good luck to everyone. I think the last thing that I would say is you're not, if we're happy together, then our happiness or how you're going to measure success in the evening at the event, nobody else can ruin that for us because we're there to have fun. So if somebody doesn't want to talk to me or if somebody's not interested in us, it's nothing to lose any sleep over because we're there together. We're having a good time. We are going to have a good time, damn it, no matter how these people respond to us. And being a power couple doesn't mean you're ruling the room. No. and that you're interacting with other people. Right, right. Well, hopefully this has been helpful. We're happy to give you a little bit of homework because you can do this any day, any place, any time. So get out there this weekend and start practicing on how to be a power couple. And if you have... If you're out and about, don't... And you're at a place that has a bar, don't sit at a table. Sit at the bar. Yeah, force your... That's a great point. That's a great point. That's a good first step. Because that will put you in the position where people are right there. And it's just, it's easy to start that conversation. I'm going to give you the perfect opening line at a bar. You know how when you go to a bar, people sit in pairs and they always leave a seat between. Yes. So find a couple you want to be next to, go up to the other couple and say, hey, do you all mind sliding down a stool so that we can sit here? That happens all the time. People move all the time. Yeah. I mean, I don't think we've ever had anybody get pissed that we've asked them to do that. No, no. Just courtesy. So. All right. Good luck. And when we come back, I believe we're going to talk about snapshots. Welcome back to snapshots. All right, well, I have two snapshots. You kind of already shot your wad. Right, like I said, mine was about Spearmint Rhino, and we already described that in detail, and it was hot. Well, she did say, one thing that we didn't talk about is when she was on your lap, and she took, I put my hands on her waist, and when she said, I have nice hands because when I spread my fingers out, I have pretty, and she had a really teeny waist. And that's when she was taking my hands and putting them on her boobs. And I think she was taking. Well, then she also turned around and like she motorboated herself on your face. Yeah. Yeah. And then she was talking about trying to get, maybe getting bigger boobs, but I thought her boobs were perfect. Yeah. They were beautiful. Yeah. And what did she, did she touch you? Well, yeah, because I told her that mine were new, and she was planning on going to a consultation to get implants. And so I told her she could feel mine, and she did. I mean, it was clinical, but that's all right. It was still fun. Did you have a bra on? Huh? No, I didn't have a bra on. No, okay. No, I had that black top on that zips. Yeah, so. Right. like super plunge yeah yeah well we talked about all that already but it was super sexy oh but we didn't talk about our friends so our friends had another girl right and she ended up doing lap dances for them and like my girl was like super like sensual and she was kind of like grinding on me and kind of just like twisting and turning and everything was like like really sexy and smooth and intimate and yeah their girl was like twerk the like the yeah she was almost like twerking on them and like bouncing on their laps and stuff and they they were laughing because they're they were like they felt like they were getting beat up by this girl i mean the girl was like gorgeous and she was hot and what she was doing was super fun but it was like really um energetic i guess would be the the kindest word to say and they're like we looked over at you and you This girl was grinding on you and stuff. And our girl was beating the snot out of us. Thumping up and down on them and everything. So that was actually hilarious. Because I noticed it when it was happening. And I'm like, man, that's a lot. Yeah. And also, one thing that we forgot to talk about is we finally just did our naughty stockings. Oh, right. And the girl that was doing the twerking had a Honey Burdette outfit on. Yes. And it was like the one that was in my naughty stocking that I didn't know of yet. Yeah. You said something about her outfit and I said, I got you that outfit, but I haven't. You got me a honey burdette. I said, yeah, but we haven't done naughty stockings yet. Yeah. So we finally did them the other night and you actually wore it. And did you like it? Yeah. I think you look really sexy. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Once we got it all adjusted. I know. Yeah. It's the kind that has lots of straps here and there and everywhere. And it had been so long since we bought of our stuff we couldn't return it now anyway if we wanted to it's beyond the Christmas gift grace period but so my snapshot is just strictly about communication because I've had a couple of experiences in the not too distant past where we talk about I talk about how sexy it is when my partner tells me what they want because I'm not a good communicator So it's a nice change up. Neither one of us are really good at that. Yeah. Because I'm a giver more and I have a hard time demanding. You like to follow directions. Yeah. Like you like to be in charge, but you like somebody to tell you what to do. Yeah. Well, these two situations, it was made very, very clear to me what I needed to do. The first situation was I was going down on a play partner. it was very obvious to everyone in the room that she was having an orgasm and i obviously mistakenly thought that meant i was done and so i kind of got up and i went to lay down next to her and she looked at me and she just got this real stern look on her face and she said get back down there she took her hand and put it on your forehead and pushed you back down there and i said oh yes ma'am i apologize i thought my job i thought my work was done here but now get back down there and we laughed about that the next day because we got to debrief with them and i said yeah you're a really good communicator and she said what are you talking about and i get back down there and her husband started cracking up he says yeah that's my wife so that that was the first one the second one we were with a and she we were she was laying on her stomach we were going to try doggy style and like i said i'm getting used to my new length and so i sometimes i need some guidance like i need a hand well it's muscle memory yeah like when you thrust you you thrust like like you used to be right because that's how you did it for 60 years? No, not 60 years. Okay. I always forget to take 10 off or 15 off or however old it was when you started having sex. Right. So anyway, so now when we have sex, I have to like, either I have to be on top and I have to control the movement or like if you're on top, I have to hold your butt cheeks to like shorten your gait, so to speak. Yeah. It's a very, it's like a docking procedure. It's very scientific until we get the hang of it. So anyway, I didn't do that. I kind of just thrust. And she said, she had her face kind of in the pillow and I heard this muffled, wrong hole. You guys were doggy style. We were doggy style. And fortunately, there was no penetration. But because I think once she sensed me, the proximity alarm went off and she clenched down and there was no way I was getting in there anyway. She moved. She moved forward. She said, And then again, the next day when we were debriefing, I said, you're a really good communicator. And she said, no, thank you. Like, what are you talking about? I said, well, like when you yelled wrong hole out loud in the room, we had a good laugh about that. So, yeah, I mean, the good news is that we're back in the game and, you know, I'm learning, I'm adjusting and, you know, we're able to have these experiences now with people. I think the vial of stuff I mix that I have is going to last me my whole life well I hope not but well he yeah he said he said we'll start off small like with 10 units and I'm like that seems like a lot to me so I did five units and then I still had a erection for quite a few more hours than I needed yeah then I went down to four so I said I'm going to go down to one and so one one and a half is is all I need that's the I've been practicing well and we made the mistake of going out of town with it and you didn't have any what is it Sudafed that you're supposed to have I don't know I yeah I mean I I didn't have that but I don't my personal opinion is that didn't it doesn't help but at any rate I've got that a little bit more dialed in now so I'll be hopefully back in the game full-time here pretty soon yeah All right. Well, we will get out of the way and let Jessica close us out with this episode. We'd love for you to join our community and visit our website if you are interested in that. Again, if you want the promo code to try our community, email me at mrjones at wegotathing.com. We are Mr. and Mrs. Jones and We Got a Thing. Hey, this is Jessica. If this episode stirred something in you, curiosity, comfort, or that quiet, I've been looking for this feeling, don't stop here. Go listen to episode 131, Finding Your Tribe and the We Got a Thing community. It's where the conversations go deeper, the connections get real, and you discover that this journey was never meant to be taken alone. Because if you're listening, chances are you've got a thing. A craving for more honesty, more freedom, and a space where you feel understood without having to justify who you are. And We've Got A Thing, a thriving community built exactly for like-minded couples and individuals ready to explore, grow, and connect with support that's as deep as the desire that brought you here. Head to WeGotAThing.com and come inside, because that thing you've been craving is not just a fantasy, it's a real community, and we're waiting for you. Follow us on at WeGotAThing on Instagram and X, That's W-E-G-O-T-T-A-T-H-I-N-G for a glimpse into the energy, inspiration, and intention behind everything we do. Thank you.