Episode 89: Enjoying Group Play

Transcript

This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us? Hello, everyone. I'm Mr. Jones.

And I'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 89 of the we got a thing podcast enjoying group play no no no you forgot the best part plays well with others that's the key enjoying group play yeah you have to be able to play well with others that's step one yeah well the title is kind of self-explanatory um and we've had a few experiences recently yes we feel like we're a little bit more qualified yeah to talk about this but first we have been super busy now that um we're allowed to again. Yeah, we've been getting out and about and having some fun. We have a couple of announcements.

First, though, our Denver meet and greet is sold out. So thank all of you who are in our community and joined our community and are going to meet us in Denver. That's going to be an exciting weekend yeah it sure is lots of things planned yep lots of side trips planned man i mean the side trips are like out of sight like they're doing all kinds of fun stuff well what's starting to happen with our our weekend events is we normally go friday through sunday but i think over half the people are coming in a Right.

I mean, there's a bunch of people that are going to go on a hike since we're in the mountains. Um, there's a pole dancing class that people are, uh, ladies are going to go to. Yep. I mean, there's just all kinds of stuff, dinners and bar crawls and it's going to be fun.

We're going to be late to our own yeah i know and uh we you know that our november 2021 desire trip has been sold out for quite some time yeah so we've uh announced dates for our 2022 trip and people are booking already yes we suspect this is going to fill up rather quickly maybe by the end of the calendar year yep all you have to do is go to our website wegotathing.com at the very top of the page it'll say book your desire trip here and the dates are on there dates are right on there booking link is there and it's just easy peasy yep so no excuses for those of you who are listening if you want to go with us next year desire is booking that far out and so we went ahead and opened the dates up yeah you know when we were there uh it earlier this month we were talking to someone there and they uh said that all of the weekends for the remainder of 2021 are full they have um times like during the week that are still available, but the weekends were full.

Now that changes, I mean, especially in this environment with COVID and, you know, very differing states having, you know, constantly evolving travel restrictions and such. But yeah, I think the world is trying to get out and about and start living life again yeah so that brings us to keeping up with the joneses and i i've been a little bit hard to keep up with because i feel like i'm your i've become mrs jones's personal assistant around the house. I know. And I have a new acronym for you. What's that? You're my IPA. Okay, personal assistant. I know that. What's the I?

Well, I mean, everybody's gone to VAs now, virtual assistants, right? Well, you're not virtual. You're like here all the time. So you're my in-person assistant. I know. IPA. Isn't that awesome? Yeah.

and i like i do okay it's getting a little corny my favorite ipa let me get back on track here you started it no you did you said ipa they've got general contractors got our master bathroom all demolished yeah we are down one level literally we've had to move out of our main closet and our master bathroom so we're have they have all of our bedroom furniture shoved up against one side of the attic and um have it all taped off and everything it's definitely a construction zone up there it's demolished like i said it's demolished and they're starting to frame it back up so i'm and you know when they start working on it every time i start a zoom call with somebody.

They start sawing or hammering. It's demolished, and they're starting to frame it back up. And you know when they start working on it? Every time I start a Zoom call with somebody, they start sawing or hammering. Yeah, so would you rather complain about them not being here working? Oh, no. Okay. No. Okay, let's just be happy that they're here working. Yeah, so I'm managing most of that. Actually, you're the one that's been ordering all the supplies because we're getting all the light fixtures and plumbing supplies through Amazon and they're here. Amazon Prime is great. I know.

Saved a couple thousand dollars. Yes. And it's the exact same stuff. I mean, the same brand, the same model number, the same everything. And I'm literally getting it like 40 off so we got that going on i'm still i'm still the dishes guy the laundry guy i'm actually doing more cooking now i'm the grocery getter i'm the taking all your stuff back to amazon that you order and don't and don't need yeah that's at least once a week and well i mean you were i'm sure there was a little bit of pleasure in returning some of those little thong swimsuits.

No, I made sure there was a little bit of pleasure in returning some of those little thong swimsuits that I bought for you for desire. Those things are in little baggies that you can't see through. So the ladies couldn't see those when I went back to turn those in. Oh, so all the little bitty things I returned for myself, you don't care because you're like, that's my wife right there. Well, those are in baggies too.

They can't tell tell what it is but now you've got me doing all this we got a thing admin work for our community and the yeah admin and the bookkeeping behind that it's a pain welcome to my world i know that's what i do for a living well the good news is your business is thriving and the bad news is I'm getting dumped on. Well, you know, it just, life is about ebbing and flowing, right? Because just like, you know, right before COVID, like you were completely swamped and I was doing everything behind the scenes. So we've just, the pendulum will turn back the other way at some point.

All is and we've had a couple of really cool lifestyle experiences lately first of all we had some good friends i would say a couple that is becoming um close friends came back into town to visit yeah a few weeks ago yep and and i think that as we reflect back on that weekend it it was just about flawless yeah it was the weather was perfect the visit was the right length of time i mean you know we had time to catch up but we didn't have to we didn't feel like we had to entertain them and we hadn't seen them in a long time so there was some pent-up energyup energy there that was just below the surface.

Yeah. And the weather was perfect. We went out to dinner, the drinks. We went out to our speakeasy place and had drinks and did some outdoor activities. We went running together and a couple of other things. It was just a really relaxing weekend. Well, I think one of the funnest things we did is we went tubing down the river. Yeah. And there's an outdoor center here, and you can actually walk to it. And they do kayaks and canoes and this and that.

They'll do some guided tours, but you can also just rent an inner tube and float down the river and that's unguided so you just kind of go at your own pace and you can do it all day long if you want we figured it was what maybe like three quarters of a mile down the river that you uh float well the river was really low so it took us like an hour and a half to get that did like we were. Like, our butts were hitting rocks. It was your kind of lazy river because you didn't even get your feet wet. You know, y'all made fun of me for that.

And I could have hopped out of the inner tube a couple times we got stuck. But you didn't. Well, our friend... He was like driving Miss Daisy with you.

That's not funny because I'm older than he is that is not funny no like you and his wife you got ahead of us on the river and we were kind of lagging behind and it just had to do with the current that's because every time you get hung up on a rock rock you'd look over at him and bat your eyes and he would he would get out and come over and pull you loose he's a gentleman what can i say chivalry is not dead you you were definitely the river queen I don't know. your eyes and he would get out and come over and pull you loose. He's a gentleman. What can I say? Chivalry is not dead.

You were definitely the river queen that day. That does seem to be my new pet name. Yeah. Yeah. And we had lots of play fun. Yeah, we did. Lots. Yeah. And we're looking forward to seeing them again. We've got them on the calendar and again in a few months. Oh, that's right. We do. Yeah. So more about that later. That was a great weekend. And it's nice to be able to kind of get back out and enjoy life. Well, you know what I love about them is they're very low maintenance.

They're very self self-sufficient and like we can be like crazy sexy one minute and then talking about something really serious the next minute and it's just and then we can get right back into like joking around and having fun yeah um they're just very very easy to be around they're very authentic well she's she's an early morning person so she and i had coffee together every morning which was a lot of fun yeah and then we had various cocktails in and out of the weekend in the house and out and about it was it was just very a lot of fun yep um the big trip that we took though um we just got back from our desire mansion takeover This is the inaugural Desire Mansion event.

Yeah.

trip that we took though we just got back from our desire mansion takeover this is the inaugural desire mansion event yeah and we took over the entire mansion compound at desire pearl this is the first time anyone's ever done that yep and desire did such a good job of accommodating us we were spoiled as as much as we've talked and complained about them they were all over this event right they had everything they communicated with us ahead of time we had all the plans worked out before we got there for a change well and they suggested everything yeah made some suggestions and i mean like i can't even explain how amazing it was like every time we got together for like a pre-dinner cocktail they had these beautiful special cocktails made up like the bartender was over the top being creative and yeah and just wanting to please us and i think he loved it when he would surprise us with like that one drink was blue and it was so beautiful.

And it wasn't your typical blue margarita that has that syrupy sweet blue corso in it. Like everything was fresh and just tasty and garnished and like all the little details that they put together.

And they have, I don't know, is she like the manager of the mansion now i don't know what her title is she's the concierge of the mansion yeah she is her name is michelle her name is michelle and she is outstanding she's fabulous like one time we were out we we had ordered lunch all of we were in the mansion pool and we had ordered lunch and they brought over pizzas and tacos it was that's what it was tacos and just just when they brought them over it started to rain i mean and it was a deluge yeah so she point so everybody went over to one of the swim up rooms and kind of got up on the edge to stay dry and and she took it upon herself she she said we're gonna move all the food over there so she got a couple of staff members they went in the they took all the food from the bar went inside through the room out onto the to the porch and and brought us all towels because we were in the pool we were like in the pool but on the very edge where it was covered right and she came to me she would come to me ahead of time and she'd say, I noticed it's this person's birthday.

I'd like to have a special cake for them at dinner tonight. Is that okay? And I told her before we left, and she's new to Pearl. You know, there are customer service people and this is how it normally is. And this is what sets her apart. Like when you go to Desire, and these guys are great, you know, anything you need. And they come up to you all the time. What can I get you? What can I do for you? She really didn't ask what she could do for us. She just did it. Yeah. And then would say, I want to do this. Is this okay? Yeah. She said, I'm thinking about doing this. Is this all right with you?

No. Here's my favorite thing she did. And it was the day that we were all drowned rats at lunchtime. So we all, she brought us towels. And of course, everybody but you and I were staying in the mansion. So they all went to their rooms and got their robes because we were basically naked from being in the pool. So we're all bundled up because it was chilly in there because of the air conditioning.

And we're eating eating lunch and one of the ladies in our group noticed she had just gotten a manicure the day before this beautiful purple fingernail polish and she noticed that one of her nails had been chipped so and michelle was standing around just kind of chatting with us as we were all eating lunch to make sure we had everything we needed and and my friend said, oh, shoot, my nails chipped. And Michelle came over and said, oh, my gosh. And my friend said, well, I had my manicure done here. I'm just going to have to go back over there and get them to touch it up.

So Michelle took out her phone, took a picture of my friend's fingernails, went over to the spa and showed the girls at the spa the picture so they would know what color of nail polish it was. She brought the nail polish back herself and touched up my friend's fingernails Thank you.

over to the spa and showed the girls at the spa the picture so they would know what color of nail polish it was she brought the nail polish back herself and touched up my friend's fingernails while we were all eating lunch yeah like who does that right right it was so amazing yeah and the head chef created the menu for all of our meals breakfast luncheon well mostly lunch and dinner um dinner was fabulous we he had an asian night a mexican night a barbecue night and then a black diamond night yeah the black diamond night was incredible so he prepared all the meals he he prepared the menu ahead of time and then we had some pre-dinner entertainment like one night we had a guy playing the electric violin and he was fantastic he was so good you know last year we heard the electric violin at the mansion right um one night they had like a cocktail hour and it was a lady and she was so beautiful and so good and that's who you and i asked for yeah so i was halfway disappointed when i walked in and and was a guy playing the violin but he was talent wise i think he was even better yeah um and actually he was pretty hot too so he was fun the only complaint the ladies had was that he had a see-through shirt on and underneath he had a t-shirt he had like a black undershirt so they said your music was fantastic next time you need to take your undershirt off i want to get you one of those shirts that shirt was hot it was like it wasn't it was just sheer and it was it was black but it was metallic so it had like this silver sheen yeah on this black fabric and then yeah he was he was hot and then once every and we did this in the lobby um lounge and so as everybody kind of started getting into the music he got closer you know he wasn't in the background playing while we were having conversation it was like our own private concert yeah and then the other night uh they had a harp player come and start to play the harp and he was so personable and we we went up and asked him all about his harp and how it worked and it was was really cool.

And it wasn't just like hoity-toity harp music. Like he did amazing things with his harp. He played Hotel California on the hour. And he was very talented as well. So, yeah, it was super cool. And then we had one of our after dinner events is we had the human dessert. Yes. And we had two beautiful young ladies laid out on massage tables with dessert placed on them strategically. And then we came in and. Lots of chocolate sauce. Consumed the dessert off of the human. Lots of strawberries. Blueberries. Yeah. It was fun.

That was pretty sexy was pretty sexy I think some of the most fun that we had and keep in mind this is eight couples so it was a really small group plus us the playmakers came over and did some special games just for us but we did one that you brought called oh wait we have to talk about the game with Charlie because we won. Oh, yeah. We finally did win the sex position game. That's the one we lost before. Last time we played that game, we came in last place. And you and I came in first place this time. And you know why we won? You know, we won by one position. That's right.

And it was the, you turned around and pegged me. I pegged you. Because you did me doggy style. And I was trying to think of the quickest thing I could come up with, you know, so we didn't have to like move around so much. So I was like, hey, you lean over the bed. You have to act out as many sex positions in a minute as possible. Yeah. So we won. We did 13. So anyway, but you brought these charades. What's it called? It's called Dirty Charades. And we stood around, and we have never laughed so hard. And it was guys against the girls. And the guys won, of course. By one.

Yeah, well, we let you back in at the end. Oh, jeez. We stopped telling you that time was up, because we were having so much fun watching you act this stuff out.

Yeah, so, like, one of the words for example was pussycat so here we are like oh and we played that on extreme bikini oh yeah so we had we had an extreme bikini day where not only the ladies but the guys had to wear extreme bikini bottoms yep so we had some uh who was it borat uh like banana hammock things um on the guys i didn't wear one you didn't wear one no two of the guys i didn't have the guts to do that no but you wore a thong yeah so a little and it matched my swimsuit we both had lime green on so that was fun so yeah my swimsuit only had strings on the top and the bottom.

I know, yeah. Like, what was I thinking when I ordered it? I said I must have been really horny and been drinking or something. All the ladies look great. I know. It was fun. We were all out of our comfort zone a little bit, but, you know, there's safety in numbers, so we were all uncomfortable together.

and you know just the um just the conversations that we had all weekend and the the running we had a a very an improv running we had a storyline that ran through the whole weekend that one of the ladies started and each day we would build upon it and it was a fictitious story and she kind of wove all of us in as characters in the story and it's one of those things where you had to be there but i think what happened was this group because we did some zoom chats ahead of time and we were we all knew each other before we got there we hit the ground running um and everybody connected so well and was so comfortable um it was just a very relaxing, very successful.

We've already got it planned again for next year. Yeah. And then the playroom. Remember, we thought we wouldn't go up to the playroom until Thursday night, but we went up to the playroom Wednesday night. We did a rope.

A couple did a a rope class for us one night which you enjoyed and i got frustrated with you know i saw a new side of you that night like you had no you were completely out of your element yeah um neither one of us have ever been in the boy scouts or i was in the cub scouts or yeah you were in cub scouts you never never got to the rope time no um we've never been like in the navy or merchant marines or the coast guard and we have never owned a boat so neither one of us could tie a knot to save our lives you didn't have to worry about it you were the tie e no but you were so stressed out i was trying to help you and then that made worse.

And then the so then our sexy friend who was leading the class, you know, the problem was that it was our position because he could he couldn't like not have his back in front of somebody. And we were on the side where he was kind of like blocking the view a little bit. But his wife was next to us.

So she was saving the day she would stop and and she would help you get everything going in the right direction well so remember when i needed to learn how to tie a bow tie for real and i went on youtube yeah it's looking at when i look at somebody it's i need to i need to do it myself i know because it's backwards yeah it's backwards And so when I'm watching him tie and he's using terminology that I don't do it myself. I know, because it's backwards. Yeah, it's backwards.

And so when I'm watching him tie, and he's using terminology that I don't understand, and then it's opposite of, you know, I'm watching and I'm not doing. And so I started to get frustrated because I didn't want to do it. Right. And he was doing an excellent job of explaining it. You were just out of your element.

Like you had no prior experience to bring to the table and um you were starting from scratch and and you didn't like that yeah well we got through it we did and then they and then they brought out because i i kept my um my we it was bdsm night for our group so i had like a black leather corset on and um and like black leather panties and my rope the rope you used on me was red so when you did the the harness like it was the red on top but then you had to take the rope off to get your panties off that was a well i wasn't playing with you at that point no the the person i was playing with had to untie me right and he did a very sensual job of untying me it took a very long time to untie me it was very, very sexy but if you wouldn't have had the panties on you could have just left the room well, okay, that was a strategic failure on my part now I know for next time and then we did somebody brought out the electricity yeah, so there was electric play and there were floggers and somebody got on the cross riding crops yeah yeah so it was um yes so one of the guys got on the cross and his wife was spanking him and then she let other people spank him yeah i was a little i wanted i followed him him and I, and I wanted to get up there, but I'm like, dude, I'm not following him.

You know, he was an impressive guy. Like, you know, I really don't want to follow him, but damn, I want to go up there and get the treatment that he just got. So I willed myself to get, to get up there too. Yeah, he, he got a lot of treatment. He didn't just get spanked. No, no. It was fun. And then, um then um oh you know what i did that my contribution was um i brought my string of pearls oh right and i was like giving guys hand jobs with the pearls yeah that's a good technique yeah anyway um it was a fantastic trip and needless to say say, we're going to do it again next August.

We'll see how it goes. We may try to slip in another one. But at this point in time, we're still recovering from that. But we know we're going to do it again. And thank you to Desire. They did a fantastic job of hosting. Yeah. We're looking forward to seeing everybody back in November.

We'll be on the other side of the resort yeah and being able to enjoy the resort yeah getting out and about and we did get out and about um we went to the disco almost every night well no i think well remember the first we went a day early so we did spend the first day out in the regular resort but yeah and and you know part of the second day because that's when everybody was arriving yeah yeah but for the most part we stayed in the mansion area which was fantastic it was it was good for our group to and and what i liked about desire is that you know they didn't let anyone else in the mansion that that for those four days it was our event and and so we nobody else came in so it gave us a chance to like bond as a group yeah it was good yep okay well that was a lot of fun um hopefully you all will be able to join us either next november or august yeah keep that in mind and thank you to the people that came in august like thank you for uh taking a chance on something that we hadn't done before yeah we we really didn't know how it was going to feel.

Yes. You know, and I think just the right group of people came together and we just really appreciate the way everybody kind of did their part to kind of make it comfortable and fun. Yeah. So we're going to give them first crack next year, but we might have some openings. So if you're interested, just let us know. All right.

Well, when we come back, speaking of group play in the playroom we're going to talk about enjoying group play welcome back to segment two and it's time to talk about playing well with others yeah i think we've come a long way in this area we've experienced quite a few group play situations over the years and a lot of them here recently um and and i wouldn't say that they've all they've been fun for the most part, but none of them have really been perfect. Well, I honestly don't think we've had that many experiences. I mean, we've been in a lifestyle seven years. No, recently we have. Yeah.

But I mean, I would say over, over that period of time, we've, we've not experienced very many group situations. Right. situations. So we're kind of like, we're drawing on, like, we're going, with some of them, we have to go back into the vault to kind of get some perspectives. Yeah. But, yeah, we've had a couple of really good ones lately. Yeah. And we're going to talk about why they're fun, but not always perfect, because the more people you have, the dynamic changes, and it can become a little complicated. But overall, it's a lot of fun if you do it right. Yeah.

So we thought we'd talk about that. We talked about some truths and some myths about what we've discovered about group play, and how our thoughts have evolved.

Because if you'll remember, mrs jones we did an episode the second year we were podcasting where i think you went yelling and screaming out of the group play room in new orleans well yeah i think i think our first group experience was a six-some i think i think i actually know the title of that podcast wasn't it the six six-some is a new foursome or something like that yeah that was a good experience yeah um but then we might have gotten a little overconfident because i think it wasn't very long after that we went to naughty in new orleans and ended up in a in somebody's hotel room where we were all going to get together and go into a group playroom together.

Right. And I think there were, what, like a dozen of us? Well, we were really good friends with the people who organized it, but we didn't really understand what we were walking into because when we got there, there was a whole lot of people that i think we had maybe met everybody but yes we had met everybody so nobody was a stranger but we hadn't we had only played with two of the couples right um and one of the couples we had just met in person right so.

So part of what we, as you and I debriefed after that, there were a whole lot of things going on that led us to be extremely uncomfortable with that situation. And it wasn't necessarily the people. No, it wasn't the people at all. I mean, I felt horrible afterwards.

I mean, I made my friend cry the one that organized it well what happened if you haven't listened to that episode the episode was forever ago um we got into the group room and the the organizers of the event are were they do such a fantastic job at naughty they were um getting a bed prepared for us they were changing the sheets and cleaning everything up and getting every towels and all that for us and um as we were they're going to have to go to the next slide.

getting a bed prepared for us they were changing the sheets and cleaning everything up and getting every towels and all that for us and um as we were standing there waiting i was looking around like what in the world am i doing like i just felt like a fish out of water yeah and i i kind of had a little bit of a panic attack and um our front our one friend turned around he was kind of standing in front of me and he kind of turned around and smiled at me and I guess I had gone like pasty white and he was like, are you okay? And I kind of like shook my head no.

And, um, then he tapped me on the shoulder and he tapped you on the shoulder and he was like, um, I don't think she's all right. And then you looked at me and you were like, uh-oh. And I bolted out of there.

I literally ran out of there like a five-year-old right it was ridiculous yeah um it all turned out good we didn't go back in um friends of ours came out with us and and we ended up playing with them and they we don't know how the play event turned out because we left right and it turned out good for us yeah and i think it turned out good for them um but my my one friend that i left in there without even saying goodbye to her i think she was discombobulated you know because we just disappeared right um so anyway but she and i had a good talk and we were fine after that but yeah i panicked so some of the thoughts that were going through our head at that point in time were, do these people all know each other?

Or are they complete strangers? Yeah. Because our thing is playing with people that we know. Right. And maybe, because remember how new we were? Yeah. Maybe that was about the time we realized that we needed to have a connection with people before we could just blindly play with them exactly that might have been like some sort of a catalyst well it's an afol and that and that the point you make is good because sometimes you don't learn about what it is you want until you're in the middle of a situation yeah and you did the right thing.

And, you know, to be honest with you, I wasn't all disappointed that you pulled me out of there because I would have been more worried about you than anything else anyway. So we took that action and we learned. And then the other questions that came to mind, like, how do you give consent to a large group like that? Because when we walked into that room, people just jumped on the bed and started playing. There was no conversation, at least I don't think, I wasn't aware of any conversations about going on. There was just a little bit of a cursory conversation at that point. Yeah.

There wasn't any kind of detail.

So didn't know if you know you had to give consent ahead of time we didn't know who consented to what um we didn't know how you know everybody's play style so we just assumed that everybody was full swap because we didn't know right and that's what we assumed right at that point in time and i think we had just had our first full swap experience right before that we did right um yeah so we were still a little wobbly right in that regard yeah and what if there's someone in the group you don't want to play with or what if there's someone in the group you don't want to play with?

Or what if there's somebody in the group that doesn't want to play with you? I mean, and these are like rhetorical questions. These are questions that are going through our heads. No, but that's the thing that happens, especially like with a big group. Obviously, if it's a six and there's going to be just naturally, there's going to be probably a little bit more communication and a little bit more, um, deliberate, uh, attempts to like say that you're interested in somebody. Right. But I mean, I think there were like at least 12 people in this group that we're referring to right now. Right.

And I didn't know who was into me.

i knew who i was into i guess um but i i don't know that i would have been brave enough to just like dive in and say hey i got a crush on you it's not just that would you have been brave enough to push somebody away who you didn't want to be with or who you didn't know that's the more important thing like i think that's why i bolted because i didn't know right how to handle that situation right and you know because the thought is we can't possibly make connections with that many couples before playing you know in a situation like that where we barely know and it wasn't like there was anybody icky in the group i mean everybody was attractive and nice but i just didn't know them right and and this was fairly new in our lifestyle journey and i think we were about a year in at this point yeah i mean a year since we had become active because i think this was our second naughty yeah so you look into a room like that as a sort of a newbie to group play and you say you know what there's a lot of shit going on in there and it looks a little overwhelming because there's a lot of stuff going on and there's hands and body parts and and you can't um you know when there's one couple and you're watching one couple or two couples you can really take it in and enjoy it but when there's group play like that there's just so much going on it's hard to focus and this was the big group play room at naughty and which is like one of those big ballrooms that hold hundreds of people right like it and it was all beds right and yeah and and you know what the other thing about that room was is um i guess maybe it's because it was so big, they had it kind of well lit.

Yes, it was. You know, like all their other rooms that you and I like to play in were much more, you know, soft lighting. And the sheer curtains were closed. Yeah, yeah, everything was a lot more central. This was, it almost felt like a triage in a way, right? It was just bed after bed after bed. So maybe it just wasn't my vibe to begin with.

So we left there thinking that we could never do that yeah yeah now we didn't we didn't for like i would say years right and the one and the one uh situation that you referred to where we had a six sum that was if you'll recall it was another couple that we knew fairly well and then it was with a couple that they knew fairly well. Yes. And it was SoftSwap. Yes. And it was good communication. And we said, hey, it's SoftSwap. This person likes to play with girls. And it was a very small group. And it was very tame. Right.

And it was good because I think we were all on the same plane, like on the same level. Right. So there was no pressure. Nobody had to be on their best behavior. Here it was good because we were, I think we were all on the same plane, but like on the same level. Right. So there was no pressure. Nobody had to like be on their best behavior. It was just very natural for everybody. Right. And everybody, well, and we're going to get into this, I think probably, you know. Look, you just checked yourself. I know. Oh my gosh. Good for you, honey. What's wrong with me? Good for you. Dang.

Now you made me forget what I was going to say. Oh. Well, we're going to get to it, I'm sure. That first six-un that we had, everybody had the same temperament. Yeah. You know, we were all pretty laid-back people.

Well, so the point I think that I'm drawing from what you're saying is there were six people we knew one couple really well yeah they knew the other couple really well so there was trust and we had met the other couple yeah we just never spent so with six people it's a little bit easier to trust somebody you might not know as well because we can say hey these guys are really good friends and with that kind of comes that validation that they're our friends they're cool you're going to have a good time yeah and so that goes a long way to just instead of just walking into a room full of people that you don't really know right right so group play can be good but it's also really tricky yes is what we're learning um and we've learned that the hard way because you don't know until you're in the middle of it yeah which is how we've learned most of our lessons yeah not but i wouldn't say it's the hard way you learned by doing it experiential experiential learning that's right so it's easy to get separated when you're in group play it's easy not only to get physically separated but emotionally separated yeah yeah and and uh and it's just real easy to drift off track from what you had agreed to with your partner right going in right because there's so much going on like who am i with what are they like somebody's touching my leg um who is it does I'm going to show you guys.

partner right going in right because there's so much going on like who am i with what are they like somebody's touching my leg um who is it doesn't have hair on it i mean these you know sorry honey i forgot to shave well i don't i don't mean that in a judgmental way i mean it in that there's so much going on and your people are touching you and you lose track of whose limbs or whose and so with of that going on, it's so hard for me to like, where'd you go? You know, you know, you got to pop your head up. And so it's easy to become like separated.

And the other thing is everybody's head is not necessarily in the game. You know, the more people that you have in the room, the more likely that it is that there's another couple or another person that's really not there, that really is there. Either they don't know if they want to be there. Kind of like me at the, you know, my first experience. Yeah. Yeah. So you want to talk about a four-way connection being difficult. A six or eight or a 10-way connection is impossible. And it should really not even be an expectation. Right, and maybe that's really the whole point of this episode.

You know, keep your expectations realistic. Right. So, if you're, and if you're new, you can get this, and I think you're, I think you're the one that brought up this term, like the kid in the candy store, especially for guys, you know, you get into a pile of people and you're like, oh my gosh, look at around me. Oh my gosh. I'm like, I can touch her. I can do this. I can do this.

And you, you kind of get that kid in the candy store mentality and you forget that you're with real people with real feelings and yes um so that's always um a trick it's tricky because you don't know if you're going to run into that or not and how you would deal with that i don't think we've run into that though um no not really but it but it's in your head about about it could be well you just have to be aware of the of the temptation to stop thinking right um different personalities affect the dynamics both good and bad so i guess what i mean by that is that um it can be a really really, you know you sometimes you have somebody who really kind of leads and directs and it's really sexy and it's really sexy because they know what they're doing but the choreographer oh yeah i mean i love a good choreographer and and i wish i could i wish i could use the name because i know she was but but there's somebody that we've been with who is like, oh my gosh, you know, guys, this would be really fun.

What do you think about this? And when somebody does that, it adds a lot of energy and an excitement. Yes. That's a good way to put it. Energy. Yeah. But if you have the person doing that, that doesn't have a great personality, it can be almost pushy. You can almost feel like they're forcing you to do something. Right, right. They're trying to, yeah, make something happen that isn't organically going to happen on its own. Or they want to be the star of the show. Oh, well, yeah. You know, we've witnessed that before.

yeah there's a couple that are just going at it and they're just being porn stars and they're making all this noise and it's distracting for for everybody else right and and they're doing it not because they're having fun and it feels good but it's an attention seeking thing right um and and sometimes it's obvious i mean luckily we don't run across that very often, but, but you can kind of know you'll know, you'll know. This is one of those things.

Uh, the other thing that makes it really tricky is it could be somebody's first big experiment or they may be new at this and, and they could, and you don't know If you don't know everybody in the room, there could be somebody laying next to you that's never done this before, and they may be scared to death, but they're laying there naked, and they're involved, and your assumption is that they're all in. Right. And when I know it's somebody's first time, then know, then I'm, I'm aware of it.

And then I, I'm really, uh, um, careful with communicating and maybe, maybe sometimes I might over communicate, but I just, I want to keep checking in, you know, are you okay? Yeah. You're getting ahead. Yeah. Well, but I mean, I, I think that, um, just lack of experience can, can shut you down. Right. So I think I think what I'm hearing you say is that you can't rely on other people being that way. So you have to be that way. Right. You have you kind of have to take control of your own self and use your words. Right, right.

But I mean, the other part of being new is being new can scare you and shut you down or it can make you the kid in the candy store where you're making bad decisions because you're just running on hormones and impulse. Yeah, that's a good point.

And that doesn't mean that you're a bad person and that it just means you're caught up in the moment like not not all brain cells are firing properly and your partner's over there watching you going what the hell is going on i know what is she doing oh my gosh i've never seen her this way before i know because a lot of times it's the woman no that's a good point yeah it's like hey this is fun let me try that. If we're here, I'm in. I'm going to go for it. Yeah. And then the husband's kind of sitting back going, whoa, where's my wife? Yeah. That's true. That's a good point.

So obviously, we've learned quite a few things from group play. Yes. Wouldn't you say? And we're still learning. Yes. one thing that we've learned is that it can be less pressure because we've talked about that elusive four-way connection, but when there's six or eight or ten people, you don't have the pressure of that connection with one other couple.

In other words, husband A can be attracted to wife B and wife a can be attracted to husband c and you you know you you don't have to feel like you're taking one for the team necessarily because there's plenty of people to play with right right and that may sound a little bit crude but i mean that's just the reality. You don't, you don't know who you're going to have a connection with. I know.

And that's what makes it so difficult because sometimes the person I'm looking forward to being with the most ends up just not even happening at all because of, I don't know, sometimes it just doesn't happen because somebody else is there and available or because I maybe observe that person playing and then I'm like, oh, yeah, that's just not for me. Yeah. You know, what I think here, one of the positive, another positive things is it kind of, have you noticed that it kind of ebbs and flows?

Like it's easier to take a break in group play because like two couples will be playing, twosomes will be playing all around or twosomes and then somebody will get up and take a break. And then you feel like, oh, if that person got up and take a break, I can get up and take a break. It's not like there's two or four people. Yeah.

um i would say with a six some that's a little trickier but you know there's i mean talking about six some's versus eight some's or ten some's or twelve some's no i'm just thinking it's completely different but yeah i know what you mean um i just i think a six some you still is still tricky yeah but i'm i'm So to be specific, like at Desire, a couple weeks ago, there were so many of us in there, you could just get up and go get a drink, and you could bring back two bottles of water and say, hey, does anybody else want a drink?

And it, and there was so many, there was so much stuff going on, and it was spread out.

So it was easy to, you know, to kind of just get up and walk about and yeah but but you're right when there's only six people that that would be it wouldn't be as easy to do right but what you're talking about i'd say that there was probably a dozen of us in there so oh yeah and at one point in time people were getting up and getting in the shower you know yeah i thought that was funny well i got up and went to the bathroom and yeah you know and then that makes it it's more flowing that way it's not all just like serious playing it's it's you don't you know it's just a more relaxed atmosphere I was playing with a guy one night I had to go to the bathroom and I knew I had to go to the bathroom and like if I don't go to the bathroom before things get more serious, I'm going to regret this.

So I'm like, I'll be right back. And then I looked at a lady next to me. And she was playing with another couple. So there were like three people. And I looked at her and I'm like, can you keep him busy for like two minutes? And she's like, oh, okay. By proxy. I know. Like, I'll be right back.

I'll be be quick yeah um you know so i mean that that's a fun thing about it you know like you said it kind of ebbs and flows and you can take breaks and right you know tap somebody in and tap them back out right um one thing that we talked about earlier that i that i think we we try to do a better job now, and that is before any group play happens, to have some sort of a group conversation about, hey, and this has happened a couple times recently, and I seem to be the one who says, wait a minute, guys, is everybody okay? Is there anything we need to know?

styles is, you know, is there anybody that's not full swap or, you know, this is the time before we move into the other room, this is a good time to kind of, you know, let everybody know what's, what's going on. Yeah. And, and I think that gives everybody an opportunity to, to check out if they need to, or to say, well, yeah, you know, we're, we're kind of new to this and we're just soft swap only. And, you know, so that's really important. And you were touching on this before, individual communication, you know, during is important.

Because when you go into a group situation and somebody just says, okay, we had a but i'm but when i get with you i want to know if it's okay like do you even want to be with me i don't ask that way right but you know you kind of have to have these individual conversations like hello you know is it okay you know are you is it okay if we if i touch you is it okay if i kiss, just some sort of, um, individual communication so that somebody has a chance to, you know, well, we kind of had a new situation in Mexico a couple of weeks ago. Yeah. Um, the mansion playroom is kind of a long, narrow room.

There's like three king size beds that are kind kind of like all next to each other and then um we had a massage table brought in for the week so that was kind of over like next to the beds in the open space and then the saint andrew's cross is kind of on the wall in front of all the beds and and so on um and then the the three king-size beds have silk curtains you can pull to separate the beds if you want. Or you can push them back to make it all just like a big pile. I somehow ended up, and this was one of the first evenings we were there. I somehow ended up by myself with a couple.

So it was just the three of us and oh yeah and um i started like just hanging out with them for a while and the three of us were talking we we know them pretty well and we've spent time with them before um and then the husband and i started getting a little heavy yeah and then and i was playing with the wife too and the three of us started getting pretty serious and then all of a sudden i stopped you were in the room but i think you were down all the way at the other end of the room at the massage table right yep okay so so a lot of things were going on like we needed a condom and i needed to go talk to you um and and the wife said well i'll go get the condom because she was going to get her husband's condom and she knew where they were.

And she's like, and I'll go talk to Mr. Jones for you. And when she said that, I mean, we're good friends with them. So I knew that it wouldn't throw you off. But I thought, hmm, because it was I was going to be playing separately. Even though we were in the same room, you weren't engaged because you were doing other things. And it wasn't like you didn't want to be there. You were just already having your own fun on the massage table. So I was like, okay. And then she did come say something to you. Yeah. And I waved.

But, but so then what I did was I walked down the beds and I pulled the, the, and I pulled the curtains open. So that you could watch. So that you could see me. Yeah, yeah. Because you're right. They were closed and she came down and I tried to wave to you. And I said, no, no, I'm fine. And I waved. But then I just walked down the beds and opened the curtains so that you could see me. Oh, see, I didn't remember that you had done that. But yeah. So anyway, we were in a group room and there were, I don't know what, were there maybe like four couples in there? No, there were more than that.

Yeah, more than that. Probably five couples. But anyway, I played with them by myself. Yeah. It was almost separate rooms, but it was the same room. So it was group play, but not everybody engaged group play. So he had a unicorn. Yeah, I know. I was a unicorn. Did you like that? I did. We haven't even talked about that. I know. You and I have not talked about that. I mean, we talked about that. We did it. But I didn't ask you how you enjoyed it. No. And we, you know, I said I had fun.

Um, I just really, I mean, this, this is one of the couples that is just, they're so easy to be with and, and I would just felt completely, um, safe, safe and comfortable and it was, it awesome so good for you yeah no complaints on my part and and you were there yeah so and and it wasn't like it was one of these situations where i felt guilty because you know this isn't a and and i know we're probably going to talk about this but one of the benefits benefits of group play is if there is a couple you're interested in and there's not that four-way connection, then like let's say I'm attracted to the husband, but you're not attracted to the wife and you're in a group situation.

Which is not the case with the two you were with. Right. Well, that's what I'm getting. I'm going to circle back to that. Okay. Believe me.

um you know you can kind of like manage that by being in a larger group this is not that couple no we know we have a great connection with both of them right four way right um so i kind of felt guilty that you weren't there but at the same time why would you feel didn't you look down and see what i mean i was i knew you were having fun i knew you were fine but i mean it was kind of good because i had both of them to myself right like and i adore both of them right well and and so the points that you make there i think you used the word relaxed so the better we know people the more relaxed we can be right and when and more relaxed we are, the more you can go with the flow and just have fun.

Because you're not worried about anything. You're able to kind of let loose. You don't have to be on guard. Right. That's the thing. Right. And if you're smart when you're in the lifestyle, you're on guard. Because you have to make sure you're not going to get yourself into a situation that's going to be uncomfortable getting out of. Right. So another thing that we've learned is that following up with people when there are bumps in the road are important because we've really only done group play recently with people that we know.

And if things don't go the way that, if there's a bump in the road, if somebody doesn't have a good time or something doesn't go exactly right, it's important to follow up after that and just check in. And, you know, because we don't play with strange, we don't play with a large group of strangers. Right. And so it's very, very possible and probable because like we said before, everybody, like it's a different day. It's a different time of the week. You don't know how people are feeling. You don't know what's going through their heads.

And if things don't go exactly right, the worst thing that you can do is make an assumption that you did something wrong or that you made somebody upset, so if something doesn't go exactly right, you know, following up afterwards is, is, it's really important. It's really important. And every time that's happened and we've, they've either followed up with us or we followed up with them. It's all come down to some sort of misunderstanding. You know, somebody's head wasn't in the maybe not the right place isn't the right word, but maybe not in the, in the moment at the time.

And a lot of times it has absolutely nothing to do with you, but you take all of that and you put it on yourself. Like, what did I do wrong? Or what did I not do? Or what should I have done differently?

And to defend the couples that have the issues, sometimes they don't't even know what's what the issue is until they've had a day to talk about it and process it like we were tired and we should have left or we you know she didn't want to do this and I did and or we kind of saw this coming and you know there was there was sometimes I think people need 24 or 48 hours just for themselves to figure out, hey, what went wrong here? Was this me? Was it you?

And so following up when everybody has a chance to kind of debrief on their own, and then a few days later you circle back and touch base with them, it's usually a wise investment to do that because you don't want to damage friendships and you don't want people to feel bad. And, you know, I just think that we've learned that that's important for us to do. Yep. Yep. Well, and I can tell you, because I've had to do this a few times, it takes me 48 hours to figure it out in my own head. That's true. Another 24 for me to actually verbalize it to you. That's true, right.

And then it takes us a day to figure out how we're going to handle it. Right. And then we've got to deal with the other couple. Right. And I don't mean deal in a bad way.

I mean, we have to reach out to the other couple and figure out how we're going to make it right right and i think really that says a lot about the friendships that we have because like you just said it takes you 72 hours before you and i are going to talk and i'm okay with that because i know you but i also know that we have really good friends and if we don't talk to them for a week or two it doesn't mean that our friendship's going to be over it just means that's how long it takes for all of us to process that and then take the time to reach back out so we trust the friendships just like we you and i trust our relationship like we don't have to we don't have to address this right away we can wait debrief think about it get into a different headspace and then have the conversation yeah yeah well and i mean luckily we've never had any kind of a shit show that we've had to clean up.

I mean, this is just awkward. I think our bad experiences have been awkward experiences, right? Yeah, and innocently awkward. You know, nobody has been, like, it wasn't contrived. You know, it wasn't intentional. Right? It was just putting different personalities in different at the room in the same time. And it, you know, different expectations. It's fun. But I think what we've learned is no matter how well, you know, people, you can't predict how it's going to go. No. And you wouldn't really want to that. I mean, that's really, isn't that part of the fun? Yes. That's the part of the fun.

You need to let it evolve and you need to go with the flow and we're humans. and stuff they do. But yeah, you can't predict how it's going to go. You know, one of the probably most nervous I've been going into a situation, we talked about on our podcast so i i can say what event it was it was um kay's birthday bash oh yeah that jay put together for her that couple next door um we got together there were five couples oh yeah and uh we we knew two of the couples really well no three of the couples really well there was one couple we had never met before I don't know. Oh, yeah.

And we knew two of the couples really well. No, three of the couples really well. There was one couple we had never met before. Right. But I was really nervous because the other couples didn't all know each other, even though we knew them. There was just a lot of unknowns going into it.

But we loved Jay and Kay, and we trusted them to put together that was the common denominator because everybody in that room loved jay and k well who doesn't love jay right right come on right right so that ended up being an absolutely amazing experience it was like if there's ever any doubt in my mind about can group play work my mind goes back to that night yeah um it was I'll see you next time.

experience it was like if there's ever any doubt in my mind about can group play work my mind goes back to that night yeah um it was it was pretty i think everybody was in the zone that night yes honestly i don't really remember any awkwardness at all no there was it was there was a lot of laughing i know and a lot of, again, it was J and K. I just don't remember anything being like awkward or uncomfortable. Nothing had to be talked about the next day. Right. Everybody was just in the right frame of mind, in the right zone.

But there was also, there was another time recently where we were with, I think, six couples, six or six couples.

there were ten of us and and there was one couple that we didn't know but we knew everybody else yeah and you and i did not approach the couples that we didn't the couple that we didn't know nor did they approach us no which was a shame because they're really hot no but it's not a shame no you're right i'm being facetious but not really because they are really hot but what we did afterwards was we reached back out and we said hey you know we just want to let you know that we didn't approach you because we didn't really know you and you know we didn't want to put that pressure on you and we hadn't talked and then they replied and said ditto you know we didn't know you guys either so we're on the same page with that so we've even reached out to people that we didn't play with just to say look it's not because you're not attractive because you are it's not because we didn't want to because we did but it just didn't seem right in that environment just to sit down and say hey let's have a let's introduce each other and let's get to know each other because there's so much going on.

That's not the environment to do that. But hopefully. In the future. Yes. Yeah. Hopefully like the ice has been broken now and maybe that mindset, it will shift. Sure. So the next time we see them, maybe it'll have a different outcome. I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. Who knows? But it was that situation was i think good because there were 10 people so it wasn't um it wasn't obvious that someone was being like air quotes slighted because obviously slighted wasn't the intention it was just the the lack of conversation ahead of time. So I think sometimes bigger groups can be good in that regard.

And that play experience was totally unexpected and unanticipated. I think we were walking back to our hotel room and we looked at each other and was like, didn't see that one coming. I mean, that was such a nice surprise. But this is a good segue to wrapping up because, you know, we talked about how at the beginning of our journey, we were really nervous about play experiences and now we're much more comfortable. So what's changed? And that is we have many more friends now.

So the couples that we the experience that we were just referring to we knew everybody except for one couple and we honestly we had um we'd only played with one couple right before right but the other two couples we knew really well really well i mean we'd seen them multiple times yeah so so to play with them we knew who they were and we knew we we wanted to be with them so it wasn't awkward at all and oh my goodness i've had such a crush on both of those guys for a really long time yeah it was just like a crush from afar yeah but not anymore yeah you got to get a itch scratched i did like a double itch and then of course a couple that we know that we've played with before i got to spend a lot of quality time with him and right that was heaven yes and what else has changed is many of our friends know each other because we do a lot of traveling for our own events now.

And we're starting to travel in this large circle of people who know each other. So not only do they know us, but they know each other, which creates a much more comfortable atmosphere for play. Definitely. And we are more experienced now. And so I think we're just more relaxed about it. Yeah. Well, I think what would have really kind of shaken me up five years ago, now I've learned to just be like, okay, that was a personality issue. You know, it wasn't anything anybody did wrong. It was truly just personalities not blending well together in the moment.

And i think this is probably one of the biggest mistakes that people make in the lifestyle this next one is we make an effort to connect with people before we play so in other words the group that we were just talking about that we knew for a long time and never played with we invested time in them and they invested time in us in the past at parties at conversations at going to to meals yeah and that that investment paid off yeah it wasn't like okay we meet you we want to have sex with you or not and and it's either yes or no it's binary and and i think we and we just have such a we're more relaxed when we when we've had some sort of a relationship with people and making that investment in that relationship whether it's just a conversation or dinner together or drinks together well it just creates a basis exactly that you can build upon Yes.

Right.

not starting from scratch like as you're taking your clothes off in the bedroom right because to me that's kind of stressful yes i mean at least for me i mean that again this is our experience and and we have our own approach to it right and lastly and i think this is like the most important thing you know what it's just sex you remember at first when we first got into this we had this lord can you just take yourself back about 10 years that's what i'm saying say that out loud that's what i'm saying because when we first started this loving each other and our relationship and sex was all jumbled up together and now it's sex and when I say it's just sex I mean it's sex so it can go well or not well but it's it's not the end of the world it's not going to change our relationship you've always said it's nothing that a bar of soap won't cure I mean you're not necessarily not necessarily proud of saying that.

But yes, I did say it. The point is that I think that we view sex now as something completely different than we did when we first got into this with other people. Yeah. I mean, the sex that you and I have together is still that.

Well, it's the whole making love versus having sex exactly that okay that's a better way to put it so there's a some such a difference between making love and having sex right it's just having sex right and it doesn't matter who we play with how much we adore them we're having sex with them and it's good clean fun right you know most people wouldn't say good clean fun but it's good clean fun um what you and i have is different and and it needs to stay that way and when it if it ever starts to feel the same then there's a problem right yeah right so i think that that is that's the the delineation between you know what we do with other people and what we do with ourselves well and i think what's exciting me about our relationship is that you and i are in like exploratory mode again you know right we've we've found something new to explore and that's it's exciting and it's something that it's only it's only you and i right we're not going to share that with others at least you know not right now right and um it i guess playing with others gives you conversation starters so that we can talk about our own sex life and you know what and kind of um what i want to say because i don't want to say compare because that isn't what we do comparison is a thief of joy somebody told me i know and that might have been me and actually that's a quote from somebody oh shoot who is it quote from my yoga teacher is the one that that said it that i quoted, but she's quoting somebody famous.

I just think that what we do with other people, whether we bring a single person into our bed, or whether it's another couple, or whether it's a six-some, or a big group situation, it it just gives us energy i think to bring back into our own relationship yeah so that our intimacy has you know the energy and that allows us to be creative with each other right um because i i think that's what happens know, the whole empty nest syndrome where married couples wake up one morning and all their kids are at college and it's just them and the dog and they don't know what to do with each other. Right.

I think that so many couples struggle with that at this point in our lives.

But now we have energy that we bring from other people into our own relationship when when it's just you and me and i think that's the part of um the swinging lifestyle that people don't understand that this interaction whether you whether you never have sex with somebody else or not just the whole talking about it and fantasizing about it and having pillow talk about it brings energy into your own relationship yes and that's important especially at our point in our lives because if you if you're not constantly bringing that energy in and growing as a couple then you're gonna you know you're gonna drift away well and not only yes exactly right and i think that's we've lived that out in the past year because we struggled a lot damn covid it wasn't just covid it was you know when we aren't when our relationship when we've lost our mojo right the lifestyle becomes something other than what you just described.

Right. I mean, we were the perfect storm last year. There was COVID, so we couldn't get out and about. And then we sold our house, and then we moved. And then our workflow changed in your business, in my business. Everything's kind of like- Family stuff. Yeah. And then the family stuff like we had the perfect storm of right let's see how much we can fuck up this relationship right right um so yeah we were struggling to stupid we were floundering like we weren't struggling we were just like blah this is not fun this is real life yeah.

Yeah, but I think what comforted me through this whole thing is that we've been married so long. We've been through these phases before. Oh, sure. Not in the lifestyle. No. But there's been phases in our marriage where we've drifted apart and we've struggled.

you know so it and it's not i'm not saying as an excuse i'm just saying that there was never any time that i thought about pushing the panic button no because we're beyond that you know so whatever it is that we're struggling with we kind of just know you you hold your nose and you get through it right because you know that's what everybody had to do last year that's what 2020 was it stunk so everybody had to hold their nose and get through it yeah and then we thought 2021 was going to be good and now we're back to kind of holding our nose yeah and hoping that we're going to get through it yeah um everybody's going through this yeah so mrs jones what words of wisdom would you have for our friends out there who are thinking about group play?

I think keep your expectations in check. You know, don't be afraid of it. Don't think it's going to be like this big mindless orgy and and just be prepared for you to not react the way you think you're going to react. Um, I, sometimes I just can't see it coming. I go in and think it's going to be awesome. And then I walk away and it's kind of lackluster.

And then like the experience we had a couple months ago with a big group of people didn't see that one coming yeah and it could not have been a better experience right so and i and i would say that i've played with women in group play that i probably would not have had the opportunity to play with in couples play that has been a blessing. I mean, it's been a positive thing for me. Okay, we're not done because I have to ask you a question. Okay. So is it because I'm not attracted to her husband? No, not at all. Because that could be a reason.

No's not that it's just that you know we're with a group of people that we all like and there's 10 or 12 people so there's five or six ladies and it's more of a time thing than anything else it's an opportunity yeah i would have not had the opportunity to do that but i found myself in a in a room in a group with a bunch of people i ended up with a lady and i'm not thinking of an individual uh experience at this point in time i'm just saying that if if we only had a certain amount of days and and you're only couples at a time, one couple at a time, group play gives you much more opportunity to be with people that you probably would not have had the chance to be with before.

Right. And what I've learned from that is that, you know what? Everybody's fun. it doesn't matter as much your age or your body type or or your experience level if you're there and you're willing and you're having a good time yeah you know i know what you're talking about now yeah yeah that's exactly right um if if somebody's bringing energy into the room, they're going to be fun. It doesn't matter whether they're 20 years old and 100 pounds or 50 years old or more. And more than 100 pounds. Yeah. It doesn't matter.

If they come with the right attitude, they are fun to play with because what i think what we what we miss out on and and when human beings are are in a sexual experience so many times i've seen them transform into like sexual beings yeah and all of that other mundane surface level stuff, the attractiveness that we put, that we observe initially is gone. You know, their cheeks are rosy, they're smiling, they're just self-confident, they're just full of themselves and they're having a good time. And that is contagious and that is sexy. Yes. Contagious is exactly right. Yeah.

So that's so when I say that I've I've been with and that is sexy. Yes, contagious is exactly right. Yeah, so when I say that I've been with people that, I'm putting this on me because I would probably look at somebody and say they're not my type or I'm not interested in them or they're not interested in me. But in group play, once the temperature in the room and the humidity in the room goes up, you know, and you start hearing the sounds and, you know, smelling the smells, the whole room is transformed and people turn into like sexual beings.

And all of a sudden, you just want to, connecting with them is so much more human and so much more natural than if I were sitting across the room looking at a profile saying, oh, yeah, well, they're not my type because of X, Y, and Z. You know, I just recently got busted again by a listener for only playing with pretty people. You did? I did. And he was kind of right. And however, like when you're in just normal public, right? We were on a vanilla vacation when I was talking about this situation where he busted me.

And, you know, the person i was referring to was he just wasn't my type and and i when i described him i described like uh his demeanor and his um oh what do i say like he just was from a different part of so what do I say? Uh, like he just was from a different part of, part of society. I don't know. He just wasn't my type and, and I didn't describe him as attractive. However, what you're saying like is totally the opposite of that. And I just wish listeners could see us, for example, and all of our gray hair and wrinkles, right? And then see the people we play with. I have gray hair.

You don't have gray hair. I have the wrinkles. And I highlight my hair. So, yes. I don't have gray hair, but I have the wrinkles. You have the gray hair. Right. Whatever. We're both old older old as a state of mind yes so my point is that you know we talk about all these beautiful pretty people we play with and in my mind they are beautiful and pretty because of what you just described they bring energy into the room and they're in the zone and when you're in the zone and you're in a sexual frame of mind you're gorgeous to me. I'm in awe of you because I just want to be you.

You're bringing all of that amazing energy into the room. I want that. That's so attractive to me. And I don't care how old you are, how big you are, what color your hair is. Like, it doesn't matter. Yeah, and I think to kind of wrap this up, group play facilitates that kind of environment.

Yes, it brings, like you put 10 people or 12 people or more in a room or six people whatever you bring into a room you're bringing all of that energy in with it right and when there's that connection all that energy just builds right and it just feeds you yeah so it can be a mistake before you go into a room if you're looking at faces and and bodies and you say, I do, I don't, I do, I'm interested, not interested, interested. You're really cheating yourself because you have to wait until you get into that situation. It doesn't mean that you have to give everybody consent.

It means that you have to have the ability to make those decisions and use your voice in the moment. Yeah. And that is so difficult to do. So difficult to do. So I'm not saying that we're perfect at this, but. No, we're not perfect at it. Yeah. But you know what? Practice. Make perfect. Yeah, let's keep practicing. All right, we'll be back with a couple of sexy snapshots. Yes. Welcome back to Snapshots. Yeehaw. When I just took a break, when we just took our break, I looked at Mr. Jones and I said, did what I just say make sense? And he said, yeah, I was actually listening to you.

It happens occasionally. That is like the ultimate compliment. Well, you do have like this shirt on that's split all the way down to your belly button. And your boobs are sticking out. And you have your hair back in a ponytail with your headphones on. You're so cute. Whatever. Okay. What's your snapshot? Okay. My snapshot was in Mexico. Yeah. And speaking of group play, I had my own little group play. It was like a group playground for me.

You were the center of the universe i i don't really know how it happened but i ended up on a massage table with five guys around me it was so it was rough life so five times two is ten you had ten hands oh right yes i got a ten-handed massage i got ahead of myself so yes i started out with a 10-handed massage. I got ahead of myself. So, yes, I started out with a 10-handed massage, and it was lovely. Okay, let's start over again, because people don't want to hear the word lovely. So, what was it like to have 10 hands? What happened?

Well, I mean, at first, okay, there were only eight at first because one guy came in late. So at first I was on my belly and then, you know, there was, I guess. I slapped you on the butt and said, it's time to turn over. Yeah. So I'm on my belly first. And then I had basically one guy on each appendage, right? And it was just your typical massage. and guys are so funny because like when women massage you, it's very smooth and even movements, nothing jerky. You guys act like you're rubbing down like a brisket before you're putting it on the smoker. Yeah, you should take that as a compliment.

Guys are not gentle when you massage. It's truly like you're working a brisket before you put it on the smoker. What good does it do if you're not, like, kneading it? So I had four guys kneading me at the same time, yes. And I'm not complaining. It was heaven. But I actually was thinking about, like, meat. Yeah, you were being tenderized.

Because there was more than one conversation about, like meat that week there was yes there was a couple of folks from texas who gave us a lesson on that yeah so anyway that that actually did run through my mind as i'm on a massage table naked with four guys so then i flip over and then another guy appears so now i have five guys ten hands and um i like so i have this fantasy of like two cocks and one in each hand like that's just something that has been like not like my brain won't let go of it right so i think everybody took turns and like so i i went down to like six hands because i think the guys where i had the cocks holding i was holding the cocks i don't think you really were massaging at that point right i think you were just standing there with your tongues hanging out or whatever so yeah i was like blow jobs and like hands and then you guys would rotate and i would get a new cock and so that also happened the weekend that we had our friends up you had one in each hand remember he and i tried to get so close together so you could put us both in your mouth at the same time oh yeah that yeah we got to work on no we're going to try it again because i because i did some research there's a different position that we could get yeah.

The technique was not right. It was a valiant effort, though, and I'm not complaining. We're not giving up. No. So, yeah. But, yeah, that technique needs to be finessed. So, the way I got all these guys is that you and I were late to the playroom. Yeah. And by the time we got there, all the ladies were engaged with one another. In a pile, yeah. So I'm looking at all these ladies and I'm like, oh, I could just like go jump on top and like wiggle my way in the middle. But then I'm looking at all these dudes because it's not like you dudes were going to make a pile. No.

So I'm looking around and I'm like, one girl, four guys. Geez. I wonder if I can handle it. It was rough so yeah that was my snapshot that's that was a really nice first yeah good for you I enjoyed it and all the men were extremely sexy so what can I say yeah yeah you're living the life and that was I was living the life I don't know how long I was on that massage table, but it was just wonderful. So my snapshot is from the weekend that we had our friends up. And it was difficult to come up with a snapshot because a lot happened at Desire. Yeah, this was like sensory overload. Yeah.

I mean, last year we were hurting for snapshots. We were reading reader snapshots. Yeah. We had nothing. So when our friends came up, they brought some accessories with them. Yes. And one of the things that they brought was a spreader bar. And we happen to have a spreader bar. That we had used once. That we had used once. And the way that I'm, you all, if you've listened to us before, you know that I'm not very descriptive. I'm more experiential.

and all i can say is that when i put that spreader bar on our lady friend, on her ankles and her wrists, and when she laid back on the bed, I'm trying to choose the right words that described how sexy that is to me because first of all, she's beautiful second of all she was more than willing to do it i mean she enjoys the spreader bar right so she was enjoying herself the third thing is that she's so vulnerable in that position because you are basically hogtied I mean there's no other way to put it but to to kind of expose herself like that i've i i think that's what made it different it's you know and i've said this before women giving themselves to me is the greatest compliment when somebody trusts me and they open their legs to me or open their bodies to me, that's like the biggest compliment.

But the spreader bar puts you in even a more vulnerable position as a woman. Right. Yep. And that part of it. So anyway, we started playing with the spreader bar. You came over and you went down on her while she had the spreader bar. Then her husband came over and he, he and I started playing with her nipples at the same time. And he was kind of teaching me, you know, what, what she likes. So it was the combination of her, of all of that.

Plus the fact that you and he came over and got engaged engaged so the four of us were well she she did play houdini at one point in time and she pulled her arm out i didn't have it tight enough and i think she started touching you so next time i need to have it a little bit tighter lesson learned yeah but i never thought a spreader bar would turn into something that four people would be engaged with at one time. Right, that's true. But I think she was enjoying it so much that you all kind of felt that same, hey, we want to get in on this action over here.

And we like the energy when all four people are engaged. We do, and they do too. Yeah. So anyway, my snapshot in the spreadsheet. I'm speaking your language now. I know, baby. And there's one sub-snapshot to that, and that is when they first arrived on Friday night and we were talking and they said, hey, we just want to let you know that we talked on the way up and we're open for a full swap now. And when they said that, it occurred to me that I didn't realize that they weren't. Yeah.

and and when i stopped to think about the fact that i thought that i'm like that's when you know you're you're with a couple that you really enjoy being with because i i hadn't even thought back to our previous play times to know that it was soft or full right it was just awesome yeah exactly it was just awesome yep so that's kind of my one and a half snapshots so that's been a fun month yeah i know and next month is even more because next month we're going to um denver that's right and after that we got a halloween party coming up It's season. It's kicking in. It is. High season.

Yeah, so we'd love to have you join our We Got a Thing community. It's grown a lot this month. Yeah. So visit our website at We Got a Thing, W-E-G-O-T-T-A-T-H-I-N-G.com. How many years have you been spelling that? Yeah.

The problem is I stopped to think about it I shouldn't think about it We'd love to have you as a part of our community and we still enjoy the emails You can contact us through our website or you can email me at MrJones at WeGotAThing.com Or me at MrsJones at WeGotAThing.com you can follow us on twitter at we got a thing and we also have a presence on pinterest and you can join ddn double date nation sdc or cassidy um through our website and you get some three three months for free a month at least for at least, yeah. And then don't forget about our friends at Casual Toys. Yes.

We put a nice goodie bag together for our friends at Desire. And they were a big part of it. They helped us out. And Casual Toys was a big part of that. So don't forget Mickey and Mallory over at Casual Toys. And they're great. Not only are they a great couple but great service great philosophy on sex toys and you can get a discount if you come to our website that's right so thanks for listening we are Mr. and Mrs. Jones and we got a thing what's your thing We'll see you next time.