Episode 88: The Art of Avoiding Mistakes

Transcript

This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us?

hello everyone i'm mr jones and i'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 88 of the we got a thing podcast i feel like this should be episode 89 why is that mr jones because we just recorded an entire fucking podcast and i forgot to hit the play button or the record button you know i'm not very good with technology I don't do any of the editing. But I think from now on, I need to be in charge of the recorder. No, you just need to verify that I've hit the button. So when I say, have you hit the button, you're not going to get mad at me?

You normally do that, and you didn't do it tonight. Just like every time we walk out of a hotel room, I say, do you have the key? And I say, until I lock lock myself out you don't have the right to ask me that question okay I've now I've not hit record yes so you have the right to ask me that question yes it's very simple it's a good thing we have tequila episode 88 the art of avoiding mistakes and avoiding mistakes in recording a podcast. That's hilarious. Always make sure you hit the record button. Mistake number one.

But we've had practice because we've gone through this once and we're a little bit more drunk than when we first started. Well, we had two shots of tequila. Yes. An entire two drinks of some sort of grapefruit vodka drink. Yes. So anyway, we'll get to the art of avoiding mistakes in a minute announcements announcements so we have a denver meet and greet coming up it's just about filled and if you're interested in going i can't believe it's only two months away i know where is the summer going september 24th you need to be a member of our community to sign up.

Yeah, the hotel block is almost gone. We've got about five slots left in the hotel room. So if you want to go, you need to act quickly because it is going to sell out. It's going to be fun. Don't forget that part. Yeah, it's going to be fun. Yes. We also are a mansion event. We have the Desire Takeover Mansion event coming up next month. Gosh, what is that, three weeks. We will be there. Yeah, less than three weeks now. And by some fluke of nature, Desire is actually returning my messages and corresponding.

This is the first event that we have hosted there where we've sent them an email and they've actually hit reply. Yeah, we normally show up the day before and then they scramble to get everything ready. And everything's always perfect, right? But they actually replied to the email. Well, this is different. This is different. We're closing down the mansion area. Like normal guests can't come in and there's going to be a full restaurant every night and the head chef has got menus picked out for every night. It's going to be amazing.

There's going to be 18 of us because we have eight couples in the mansion and then you and I are staying in a penthouse. Eight times two is 16. 16 plus two is 18. Yeah, 18. Okay, there you go babe all right good job so anyway it's gonna be a very intimate group um and because of that we're actually able to plan some really fun like special events well we are dictating the themes um we have the head we're doing our own themes we're not dictating yes we are we're choosing the themes Well, we'll dictating the themes. We have the head chef. Honey, we're doing our own themes. We're not dictating.

Yes, we are. We're choosing the themes. Well, we're choosing them. Dictating sounds a little... We're telling Desire. These are the themes that we're going to do. Yeah. Okay. I mean, we're still going to do the resort themes, too. Like, when we go to the disco, honey, I'm like doing neon.

Because it's my favorite the whole we have the whole weekend planned out the playmakers are coming to the mansion yes the the party is coming to the mansion um we are intentionally creating a schedule with the events in the mansion compound because right we everybody is staying in the mansion right we have some entertainment planned. The playmakers are going to come over and do games with us during the day. We're going to have music. We're going to have special drinks. Special desserts. We're going to have a special menu each night for everybody.

We're going to do like a glitz and glamour night. We're going to do a formal night. We're going to get dressed up. Yeah. And we even have Desire a Mansion playroom activities set up. Yes, we're going to do like a glitz and glamor. We're going to do a formal night. Dressed up. Yeah. And we even have desire a mansion playroom activities set up. Yes, we do. It's going to be fun. So speaking of all of the special stuff, um, do you have all your outfits picked out yet? I don't know. Do I? Well, you have a tuxedo. I know that. Yeah.

Like your glow night, you'll wear your pink shirt and your white jeans. Yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah. What about micro bikini day? Well, you forced me to try some shit on that went up my ass crack. So we're doing an extreme bikini day.

And one of the ladies, we were doing like monthly zoom chats leading up to the event and one of the ladies said well does that include the guys and all the ladies were like yeah of course it includes the guys so i ordered mr jones a thong swimsuit and he tried it on for me and he's like there's like fabric it's not in my ass crack yeah i don't want something i don't want something touching my asshole i was like um yes that is the life of a lady when y'all want us to wear the thongs and the g-strings that's different and this and that like we have you have the cracks just like you do you have the bodies for that um you have a really nice ass it's tiny and it's solid muscle whatever it's gonna look great with a thong bikini okay anyway oh we want to change the subject huh yeah we're moving along so my bikini doesn't even have fabric i know it's just strange i know well the ladies are.

So are you guys? I mean, have you looked at the nine men that are going to be there? Like a hot damn. I have not. I have. Hot damn. I mean, I know them, but I haven't looked at them in that way. Yes. It's going to be fun. Yeah. So that we may. Hopefully it's going to be the first annual. Yeah. We're going to do at least one more next year. Yeah. Mm-mm, it's gonna be fun. Yeah, so that we may, we're gonna- Hopefully it's gonna be the first annual. Yeah, we're gonna do at least one more next year. Yeah. So we'll have to report back on that.

Just to let some of you know, we've gotten an unusually large number of emails this month of people just concerned that we're gonna stop podcasting. And I blame this on Page and Pen. Yeah. Because they just shut down their podcast, The Swinger Diaries, and they're really good friends of ours. And we started podcasting about the same time. And you don't have to worry because now that COVID is over and the lifestyle has started back up, we've got about seven or eight or nine. You know, I don't know how you could ever run out of things to talk about in a lifestyle. It's never a dull moment.

That's for sure. So we have no plans of retiring anytime soon. We have plenty. And we'll take Paige and Penn's leftovers. Yeah. Well, you know what it's like? Here's what it's like. We'll adopt all y'all. Here's what these emails. The emails are saying like, hey, we really love your podcast. We want to just let you know that we appreciate you and please don't stop what you're doing. But really what I think they're saying is, look, Page and Penn abandoned us. We lost our favorite podcasters. And now we need to make sure that the rest of you don't abandon us too.

I feel like we're the breadcrumbs because the Swinger Diaries are no longer around. I know, we'll take their breadcrumbs. Yeah, we've taken their leftovers. Yeah, so, and no worries there. We have plenty of things to talk about in the hopper to fill out the rest of the year. Well, now that we're actually participating in the lifestyle again. I know. Yeah, speaking of participating in the lifestyle. So we need to talk about Las Vegas. Oh, my gosh. Keeping up with the Joneses. You actually, there is something to keep up with. What?

lifestyle again yeah speaking of participating in the lifestyle so we need to talk about las vegas oh my gosh keeping up with the joneses you actually there is something to keep up what a party yes this was um it was an unofficial wgt event and so let's let's talk about that so we've been we've been hosting weekend events now for two or three years our community has grown to the point where we have sub communities within our community so there's regional groups and one of the smaller groups in our in our community decided to put this party on in las vegas and we decided to go and then all of a sudden it turned into 160 people yeah they were going to vegas yeah there were 70 couples in the group and then some more listeners came to the club yeah so there were 80 couples all together that came to the to the club so and of course it's Las Vegas.

It's post-COVID. Kudos to our party planners because it was off the charts. It was probably the sexiest, the most fun, the most adventurous. Party. Party. It was a party. It was a party. All, like, for three solid days. It was a party all like for yes three solid days it was a part it was a we put that we showed vegas people how to party yes that whole what happens in vegas stays in vegas yeah we even freaked out the people that were in vegas yeah yeah so it started with um friday night took over Playhouse LV.

And we have to give props to Dave and Nicole, the owners of Playhouse LV, because they let us take over the whole place. They've expanded the club. There's an outdoor space now. Yeah, we haven't been there in what, like a year and a half, I think. It's been a couple years. Yeah. Yeah, a year and a half.

Yeah they had expanded they put an outdoor patio out there they expanded their playroom area an additional air conditioning system in he provided us transportation from from a hotel to show yeah he chartered a party bus for us and Nicole and Nicole who's absolutely stunningly gorgeous she was behind the bar serving us drinks all night. And, you know, she is one that she's the one that's solely responsible. She has the key. Here's the key to be a successful club owner. Yes. And it's all Nicole. Clean and safe. Yes.

If the ladies feel like they're in a safe environment and that it's clean you're golden and that and nicole is solely responsible for that she takes all the linens home and washes them herself yep every playroom has extra linens um they're well attended even the bathrooms not only are they clean when you get there they stay clean all night and they're like like they're decorated right they're not just like industrial right like sparse bathrooms like they're pretty in there and everything's clean and you have all of the little amenities that you need everywhere in the club right so we had such a good time at that takeover it was it was amazing party, a great way to start the weekend.

And you know, a lot of the people that were there that night, it was their first club experience. I mean, I don't know. Do you think it's safe to say half? I think half. It was their first club experience. And we had a lot of nervous newbies there going into that experience yeah but i think once they got there right i didn't really see anybody cowering right um i think everybody kind of found their place and they found their people to hang out with yeah and it was just a fun fun night so a couple of just a few highlights from the weekend so what was the place in the stratosphere we had dinner?

Top of the world. So top of the world. So you're in the stratosphere, which is a thousand feet up. Yeah. I think, what is that? Like the 106th floor or something like that. Yeah. And so we're up there. You can see all of Las Vegas. It's a crystal clear night. And we were at a table that spins. Like the inside of the restaurant is stationary. Spins is a strong word. Yeah, it doesn't spin. It kind of rotates slowly. It took what? Like over an hour to actually rotate. So yeah. But we were on the rotating part, which was amazing. And the weather could not have been better. There was zero haze.

So you could see forever. And the company at dinner was fabulous. Yeah, it was a table of six. And we got to eat with people that we had not met, that we'd known for a long time, but haven't been able to meet until then. The other place that we went to eat was Beauty and Essex in the Cosmopolitan. Yeah. And that's where we had like the Wheel of Fortune dessert or the Wheel of... Oh, wait, let me start at the beginning. So first of all, I was ready early. So we Ubered over there. I forced you to be ready early. Well, I was excited because I love the Chandelier Bar at the Cosmopolitan.

We've been there before. Yes. So we got there early and we pre-gamed at the Chandelier Bar. Unfortunately, there's multiple levels of the bar and the upper level was closed because, I guess, I don't know. I think our reservation was at 7.30. So, we probably got there at 6.30. It was still early. Yeah, it was early evening. So, it was still closed. So, we were on the main level of the Chandelier Bar. So you and I had a cocktail beforehand. Right. And that was fun, just you and me. Yeah. And then we had dinner. It was a table of 12. One of our friends, it was her birthday.

So she had organized the dinner. And I got to sit next to her, like, ridiculously sexy husband. And we know that pretty well. I got to sit next to her. Yeah, you got to sit next to her.

Yeah you got to sit next yeah i know you had it rough yeah um but all 12 people like we we all got along and we just had the best time and we had the most amazing server because the the menu was kind of intimidating like they had tons of small plates um and then they had like entrees and it didn't seem like those things matched each other and and he our waiter came up and of course he did cocktails first for all of us and then he realized how social we were because all 12 of us were just yap and he was like i think we just need to do small plates for everybody tonight and he so he arranged it like okay so my favorite thing was the grilled cheese and tomato soup and it really isn't that weird but really wasn't grilled cheese it was like a little um it looked like one of those things next to the oven that hold the spoons the well it looked like a spoon rest only it was a spoon it was a porcelain spoon but it sat flat and then it had a handle so it was full of tomato soup yeah and then it looked like a spoon rest, only it was a spoon.

It was a porcelain spoon, but it sat flat, and then it had a handle. So it was full of tomato soup, and then it had this little disc of grilled cheese sitting in the middle of the tomato soup. And basically, you just took the porcelain spoon, and you just knocked it all back. And then you're like, well, I actually licked the spoon because the soup was so good. But it wasn't Campbell's tomato soup and it wasn't white bread and Velveeta. It was a bit better than that. It was amazing. I like the bone marrow.

So the bone marrow, the birthday girl's husband who was sitting next to me wanted to get that. And the birthday girl was like, hell no, I'm not eating that. So he looked at me and i'm like okay i'll try that with you because like i really like him and i didn't want to be a weenie so i'm like okay i'll try that with you and then i'm thinking oh this is gonna be so gross so then it comes and and it comes with like a like crusty baguette and he like scooped the goop out of and it was a real bone like it was a big beef femur bone or something. I don't know what it was. It was huge.

So he scooped it out and he spread it on the baguette for me and he gave it to me and then I was like, oh, I hope I can do this without gagging because I don't want to embarrass myself with this really fancy restaurant.

But honestly, it good we ate it was so good we ate it all we tried it all and and that we had shrimp and i don't even know what we had that we probably had like a dozen different things and then we had the the wagon wheel of dessert or the the it was called i think it was called like the wheel of pleasure it was it was like um it was like a ferris wheel it was like a ferris wheel and every seat had a different dessert and yes every little car had a little dessert and then we ate all of it but then there was that other tray well that's because there was so many of us it was the same thing on the tray that was on the wagon but remember there was like cotton like cotton candy.

I know. Like, go figure. I know. And then there was like cheesecake and brownies. Oh, that peanut butter thing was ridiculous. I know. But anyway, the whole dinner was fantastic. And because it was all of these little tiny, so everything that was like bite size, he brought out 12 of them so everybody could try it. It was just so much fun, and our server was amazing. The whole restaurant was fantastic. Yeah, so those two dinners were... No, I'm not done. You're not? We have to talk about the bathtub. Oh, yeah, that's right. That was worth talking about. Yeah, so then...

It was a clawfoot bathtub outside the chandelier bar. Right, so then we left the restaurant, and we wanted to go to the chandelier bar to have a cocktail after dinner, too. And by that time, like all the levels of it were open. So on our way there, there was a clawfoot bathtub.

Just like with the backdrop was like all the crystals hanging down from the chandelier bar so um we all six ladies like climbed into this bathtub which we all had on like really short slutty dresses so climbing into a bathtub in public might not have been the most no it was like graceful we got we got some really good pictures and and all the rest of the people that think they're all this vegas hot shit they were stopped and watching like wait what's going on there i know because all six of us were just like all piled on top of each other all six of you were very sexy ladies and you were piled on top of each other and all of us were taking pictures but then after the six ladies got out all guys, you all kind of got in the bathtub.

And then you laid the birthday girl out like she splayed herself over all six of you in the bathtub. Well, she's so shy. Oh, my gosh. I know the poor baby girl. Yeah. So, yeah. So that was so much fun. We have the best pictures from that.

And then we went to the chandelandelier bar again and we all ordered the most bizarre drinks yeah they had plants and flowers and soil and stuff in them so i talked i talked my friend my guy friend into getting the same drink that i got and or maybe he talked me into it i don't know but we got the same drink and i had these like is that the one that changed colors no no his wife got the one that changed colors he and i got the one that had those like balls in it and they were big balls like um not quite marble size but they were substantial and when you bit them they exploded in your mouth it was.

He put the balls in his mouth? Yeah. He did. We were both putting balls in our mouths. Yeah, so that dinner was amazing. That might have been like a foreshadowing of things to come. I don't know. And then I think there are a couple other things that happened. Two more things. First of all, the pool parties that we went to were awesome. They were adult-only pools. Can I just preface that? No, it was Vegas, so you don't even have to say that. No, because if kids would have been there, it would have not been okay. Okay. So all of us were at one end of the pool.

And, of course, we were flirting, we were talking, we were hugging, we were kissing, we were socializing. And everybody else at the pool that was not in our group was staring at us. I know. And one woman came over and she said, and she brought her sister with her. And her sister was really shy. And she was trying to pull her sister into our group. And this woman was saying, look, look, y'all. I don't know what's going on over here, but why is everybody on this end of the pool? What's going on over here? How do y'all know each other? This is where the party is. We want to be in the party.

And we said, well, we're just a bunch of swingers. And then we proceeded to, all of us introduced ourselves, and we hugged her, and her poor sister was just petrified sitting over on the side of the pool. And there was a similar event that happened over at the other hotel pool. But that involved single guys. And I think they scared off a bunch of single guys. They did. That's what I mean. I thought they were all that. So all these folks come to Vegas trying to be all badass. And then they run into us.

And they cower away because they're like, holy shit, these people are the real deal yeah like they're really freaky yeah uh and then they were and then i think one thing that really kind of jolted people was one of our good friends as a matter of fact it was the birthday girl um she had a bikini top on because it wasn't a topless pool she had a bikini top on that had slits on the underboob. And so you intentionally could see the underboob. Right. And she came over to me and she put her boobs up towards me, which I enjoyed. And she said, am I cookie monstering?

But she didn't say this in the pool. Y'all were at the bar, right? No, she said it in the pool at first. Oh, okay, okay. At first she said, am I cookie mon said am i cookie monstering and i said excuse me are you what and she said you know how cookie monster one eye's going up and the other eye's going down are my boobs are my nipples my nipples even and i said oh okay well let me check and so from that point on i felt like it was my obligation as her good friend the rest the weekend. To make sure that her boobs were level and she wasn't cookie monstering.

So anyway, we were up at the bar at the pool where all the non-lifestyle people were. And she walked up to me and I said, hey, wait a minute. I think you're cookie monstering. And she said, oh, really? And she turned around. And we're in front of a bunch of people. And I just grabbed their boobs from underneath. And I started straightening them out and moving her bikini around. And she said, OK, thanks a lot. And it was nonchalant. And the people were just standing there staring at us like, what did I just see? What is going on here? Who are these people?

But when you're in Vegas and you're that far away from home and it is las vegas hey you kind of feel like you know i think i think that really added to the vibe of the party for the weekend is that people felt like they could just cut loose and they could relax and they could be who they were who they wanted to be yeah and they didn't have to feel ashamed about it well you know a few of a few of us had gone to PCAP, so we had already, like, had our reintroduction into society. But most of the people there, this was, like, their first outing in a year and a half. Right.

Or, for a lot of them, their first outing ever because, you know, a lot of people had the unfortunate timing of, like, trying to dip their toes into the lifestyle at the beginning of 2020. Right. Ha ha. And the last thing that we want to talk about was the ultimate party of the weekend. Oh my gosh. We were in the Lenny Kravitz penthouse for a penthouse party. Yes. And our friends who put this party on thought of everything. Oh my gosh. The decorations, the costumes. It was a roaring 20s. And like everybody dressed up. It was so cool. Everybody dressed up.

They had bartenders in there making drinks that you picked out. Yes. So she asked me for two signature cocktails. So I chose like Prohibition era cocktails. The French 75. I did a French 75 and then like a bourbon sidecar so that I would have gin and bourbon for people depending on their taste. So she had a bartender in there for the first couple hours serving those cocktails. And then after that it was kind of BYOB.

But this penthouse, oh my gosh, it had a huge balcony on one side and we were on obviously it was at the top floor looking over the strip yeah and then there was another balcony area off of one of the bedrooms that she had set up as like this intimate massage area there were three massage tables out there and that was on the other corner of the building. Right.

Again the view was spectacular and she had like really chill you know music playing out there and then the other balcony was kind of a party but there were what one, two, three three bedrooms and yeah there was a BDSM flogging thing going on in one bedroom. Yeah. There were, what, one, two, three bedrooms? Yeah, there was a BDSM flogging thing going on in one bedroom. The other bedroom had the mirrors all around it, not just on the ceiling, but everywhere. It was a pedestal bed that had mirrors above it. And all around it. And they had a laser show.

They had a guy who brought some laser light equipment. And he did a laser show of our logo. And it was like shining onto the carpet in the middle of the dance floor. Yeah, it was really cool. And when you and I, we got there early. And when we walked in and I saw that, I got really emotional. I looked at you and I'm like, did you think seven years ago when we put this podcast together that we would be at a party with our logo shining on the carpet? Like I remember when we hired the graphic artist to like come up with our little girl on our logo, like who'd have thunk it? It was amazing. Yeah.

The decorations, everything. The one funny thing that happened was the smoke alarm went off like about halfway through the party. Yeah. It was late enough where people, like my flapper girl dress was like hot. So after a while, I had brought like a. Yeah, the ladies changed. Yeah, I brought lingerie. Right. To change into. Right. And I think I had already changed at that point. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 8. 9. 10. 10. 11. 12. 12. 13. 13. 14. 14. 15. 16 change into. Right. And I think I had already changed at that point. Yeah, of course. And they said...

My opinion is they intentionally set the smoke alarm off so that the employees could come up and see what was going on in the... You think the hotel... Yeah. The hotel set the smoke alarm off. Yeah, I think so. Because there was no smoke in there. Well, there was a fog machine. That was outside. But the guy came in and he started like jiggling the smoke alarm like you do when it needs a battery change. He was like jiggling it. He didn't know what he was doing. Like you do when ours goes off at 2 o'clock in the morning because the battery's low. It wasn't like the maintenance guy that came.

No, this was like three or four of the employees. I'm like, how many employees does it take to come up? Yeah, the three stooges. They were clearly coming up to see what was going on well they got an eyeful they did but an amazing party yep i mean amazing music was great and i know we're gonna do it and again next year it's gonna be hard to top next year yeah our poor friend is probably feeling the pressure because i was like what are you gonna do next year yeah year? It was just... So a big thanks to everyone who organized. It was an amazing event and amazing people.

And a big thanks to those of you who attended. I know there were quite a few people who were nervous because it was their first event. Thanks for trusting us and coming out there and being a part of what was an absolutely fabulous party. Yeah. All right. Well, there were no mistakes that weekend. But when we come back, we're going to talk about the art of avoiding mistakes in the lifestyle.

welcome back to segment two the art of avoiding mistakes this is an art not a science yeah it is this is not a prescription that we can write yeah if it were then nobody would make mistakes yeah so we've we've had a lot um, missteps along the way. We've done a podcast about making mistakes and how to recover from them, but we haven't said really a lot about avoiding them. So tonight we want to share with you how we choose to approach the lifestyle and how we attempt to, um, avoid mistakes and what comes along with that? My personality is such that I want to avoid the mistakes.

I, I don't ride roller coasters. You know, I don't, I don't do risky things. I'm, I'm a big chicken and I'm not even, I am so afraid of roller coasters. I'm not even embarrassed to say it. I mean, I'm just like, yep, I'll hold your stuff. Y'all go have fun. I'll see you in about 20 minutes. I am very risk averse. So I think what we're going to do is tell y'all what our mindset is. And whether or not you're like, oh, yeah, that's us too.

Or, you know, those those people are chicken like they don't have any fun at all that's okay but it's all our goal is to get you to assess what your mindset is and and really like how you're approaching things to see if you can like make some little tweaks or changes or just have a bigger awareness of how to maybe avoid mistakes. Because nobody likes to have to clean up a mistake, right? The first, our mindset is that we are beholden to no one. Absolutely. Yeah, so that means that we come into this as a team and we are, you know, we are the primary relationship.

And so no matter what happens, we are protecting ourselves first. Right. And I, and I think that I am not the least bit embarrassed to say that. And I think I've said before that like, I'm the mama bear of our relationship. Like I, I put the g on things because if something seems a little off to me, I'm going to take a pass because I'm going to protect our relationship. Right. And the second thing about our approach, excuse me, our mindset is that we are each other's plan A.

So because you're my primary primary and i'm yours and this is our main relationship if if plan b doesn't happen we're not that disappointed because we still have our plan a i know i have to come home and fuck mr jones right tragic right so that again that's a part of our mindset and and the other thing that is in our mindset, the third thing is that we are a team. This is a team sport. It's a team activity. We're not individuals out for individual things. Well, we are when it happens, but we're approaching it. Our mindset is we're approaching this as a team. You're right.

But again, back to the whole team sport thing, like when we find that elusive four-way connection and when we play, it's not like you're right but but i again back to the whole team sport thing like when we find that elusive four-way connection and when we play it's not like you're playing with the other woman and i'm playing with the other husband um we're the the four of us or more of us depending on the situation are all interacting simultaneously right and and there's kind of like just this ebb and flow of who's touching who and who's doing what. To me, that's what makes it a team sport.

That's what we love. So that's why we are not that separate room play or individual play because it's just not our thing. But again, if it's your thing, it's your thing. But this is our podcast. Well, and I take the blame or the credit. I can handle either one. Again, that's probably more me than you. Well, the women rule the lifestyle and women rule the relationships. Yeah. I mean, a lot of times I'm kind of a quiet person, but when it comes to this stuff, I'm not quiet. Let's just stop right here for a minute.

I don't like the fact that you are like positioning yourself to accept blame for the way that we approach the lifestyle. because you, um, you know, like you're the one who coaches me through this. You're the one who says, if you want to get fucked by somebody else, where would I tell you to where? Right.

You know, you're the reason why we're as successful in doing this as we are so it's not a matter of of blaming yourself for something you just like i think a lot of women need to do because guys are blockheads a lot is that yeah you need to set the you need to set the pace you need to set the tone you need to call the shots um and in opinion, that's the way that it should be.

And I think that's, and the people that we connect with, the couples that we connect with, it's the same dynamic in the couple where the guys are paying attention and they're paying attention because their wives are making them pay attention. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Because I respect you enough and I respect our relationship enough that that's how our relationship worked, even before the lifestyle. You know, you drive a lot of it, but that's, you know, it's you and I together making the Joneses.

You're making us who we are, and I'm complimenting that because that's my personality is that I'm trying to, you know, fulfill that for you. And I'm very much a people pleaser. Yeah, exactly. Well, you know, one of the questions we we do like a video cast in our community every month and we interview a couple.

And one of the questions we always ask the couple is, who's the gas and's the break so i guess in our relationship i'm the break yeah which has changed but but yeah that's true that has changed anyway so that's our mindset now so you have to ask yourself what is your mindset in the lifestyle? Moving on. Where the lifestyle fits into our lives is critical to this whole avoiding mistakes. Yeah. The activities of the lifestyle are more of a hobby for us. They're fun to do, but they're not necessary.

And when I say activities, I mean, we mean like traveling to events, going to Desire, going to PCAP, playing with couples, podcasting. You know, these are activities. They're not, I'm not talking about the friendships and the connections. I'm talking about the activities of the lifestyle for us. Right. Like, I have a planner. Like, you use the calendar on your phone. Yeah. I still have a Franklin planner. Oh, geez. Page a day. It's like two inches thick. And I have to have it. Like, I have to write it down. And I have to highlight it when I'm done. Like, I am a little nuts that way. I know.

But but when I look at the monthly pages and i start seeing the weekends too full it truly makes me hyperventilate i know sometimes when she's throw that thing away let me know i'm surprised you haven't like accidentally like let me just let me just paraphrase what what mrs jones is saying is that we we do not do two weekends in a row away from home. Whether it's family, non-lifestyle friends, lifestyle friends, work, whatever. Two weekends of the month, we can plan something. But the other two weekends of the month, we're here. Yes.

And if you, if you, you start to feel overwhelmed if we get like three weekends in a row of doing something because you start to freak out. I do. Like, you're not even exaggerating. Like, freak out is actually accurate. Right. And I know that. So, but the point is that helps us keep the lifestyle in balance with everything else that we have because we have non-lifestyle friends that we go on vacation with. Right. We have family that we just spent We have a lot of family around here, right? Fourth of July with. Yeah, that, hey, that got us sick, I'll have you know.

Like, we managed to go to Las Vegas with what 150 people 160 people and hang out for like three days and like at that penthouse party we were the greeters I kissed everybody I know and we came home perfectly healthy go away for a weekend with our family and with our nine month old granddaughter who had a crusty nose sick I am still sick yeah and that was fourth of July anyway so where the lifestyle fits into our lives is we try to keep things balanced yes um we intentionally you know prioritize everything equally and if it starts to get out of balance you start to freak out and I start to notice that.

And then we go haywire. So we are intentional about how we book things. Well, and then it's not fun. It's not fun when I'm stressed out because I can't switch gears into that sexy mindset, right? So then it's defeating the purpose anyway. So where does the lifestyle fit into your lives? That's a question you have to ask. And we don't even have kids at home anymore. Right. Like, I don't know how y'all do it. So we view the lifestyle as, the next thing is that we view the lifestyle as social first and sexy second. Yes.

And what that does for us is that being social first affords us the opportunity to know people before we consider playing with them in most cases and to me that is the number one advantage that we have um advantages in the right word in avoiding mistakes right It's like our ace in the hole to avoid mistakes because we're not in a rush. We really are interested in getting to people, getting to know people socially before hopping into bed with them, right? Well, it does two things. It takes the pressure off of playing the first time.

So you can get to know them as people without that burden of thinking, are we going to play or not? Because normally we don't. Right. The other thing is that when play does happen, it's usually a whole lot more fun and a lot less awkward. And I can think of like... Oh, I know. You can like probably throw this in my face multiple times. There's like two couples that I'm thinking about right now. Actually, one of them is coming to visit us tomorrow. Yes. Where we have had an amazing connection the first time we met.

But we went into it saying no plane on the the first date and as much as we regretted coming out of that first date and not playing the second time we got together and we did play it was fucking off the charts yes it was so you know it's it's the mindset that we have of let's get to know these people, let's be social, let's make sure there's a connection, let's get to know them. And then that way when play does happen, not only is it less awkward and we don't make mistakes, but it's just super hot. Right. Especially when that connection is there. Right. And we've done that multiple times. Yes.

so as hard as it is sometimes to walk away from an opportunity, we have found that it's worth it in the long run. And that's the long game is what we're talking about here. Right. And playing the long game helps you avoid the mistakes in the short game. Right. And it's hard to play the long game at first it is because we like we have a pretty wide circle of friends now right i mean so if if we want to get together with somebody we have lots of people to contact right to see if they're available um when you're new you don don't have that.

And when you're new, you feel like rather isolated, right? Well, you hear us talk about all the friends that we have and the connections that we make and the fun that we have, and you want that immediately. But what you forget is that seven years ago when we started this, we were at the same place. And it takes a while to get to this this point and i think the point that you made when we were talking about this topic is that because we're deliberate and because we take our time it helps us to sustain like a a desire to remain in the lifestyle right there's not as many peaks and valleys.

I don't, I think if we had not figured out the whole social sexy part of the lifestyle for, and I'm talking about you and me, I think I would have burnt out, you know? Yeah. I don't think I could have sustained the whole just randomly like meeting people at events and stuff because that's really not my personality. It takes a lot of energy for me to do that. And so I think the whole not playing on the first date, like, is that a rule or a boundary? I guess it's a boundary because we break it. Because we have played on the first date, yeah.

You know, those types of like guardrails that we've kind of put around the way we play I think has helped me from experiencing that burnout because we've been doing this for seven years. Like, did you think seven years ago we would still be doing this? I didn't even know if we were going to do it for two years right yeah right okay so social first and then sexy the next thing is pre-briefing and debriefing and i know that we've struggled with this in the past but i think we're getting better at this so pre-briefing is we're getting ready to go to Vegas. We're getting ready to go to Desire.

We're getting ready to go somewhere. And we say, okay, who is off limits? Who are you interested in? Is there anybody here that I'm, here's who I'm attracted to.

Are you attracted to them or not because you know i don't want to start an inroads with somebody right so that pre-brief is important to avoiding mistakes we did a lot of pre-briefing before we went to las vegas yeah and it it really um served us well yeah um for example um not to talk about individual people but for example like i love playhouse lv and this was our second experience there our first experience um when we went there i think that was a year and a half ago um it was just us and another couple that we're friends with and we ended up playing with our friends um at the end of the evening there i knew we were going to be going even though we didn't host the las vegas event it was still you know mostly people in our community um and we knew most of the people either virtually or in person that were there so.

So I just knew I wasn't going to feel comfortable playing there. So you and I talked about that ahead of time. Not about specific people, but just about that event itself. I said, you know, I just, I don't think I'm going to want to play there. And you said, yeah, me neither.

So as much fun as we had that night, like flirting and kissing and dancing with other people um you and i didn't have to check in with each other because we knew that nothing was going to happen there now if the opportunity would have presented itself maybe we would have had a conversation to say oh well maybe we'll go back to our hotel and play. But it didn't happen because it was late and I was tired. Yeah. Yeah, so that's a good example of the pre-brief.

The debrief, which I think we are a little bit more lax about, is making sure that after we play with somebody, it doesn't necessarily have to be the next morning for us anymore anymore maybe the next three or four days one of us will bring up hey you know i'm slow it takes me sometimes a couple days to noodle through things yeah i know i know that's why we tend to wait for a few days before we talk about it um and i think that was more important early on in the lifestyle i think now you you know, it's still something that we need to do, but it's not as critical for us to do that. But again...

Can I call us out on something, though? I don't think we're doing a good enough job always. We do sometimes. But I think there's been a couple times recently where we've assumed we've known the headspace of the other person afterwards and we haven't really had like a true debrief and I think maybe there's been a couple times we needed to. so I think I think the lesson learned there is that you know we've been doing this for a while. Well, it's easy just to brush under the rug. Exactly. If something doesn't go wrong. You just said, well, we're okay. That won't happen again.

We'll just not talk about it. And then if you do that too many times in a row, then it starts to build up and fester. Yes. And you know, something else has been really interesting. Like we've had recent, well, not recently, but just over a period of time since, you know, restaurants opened back up after COVID, we've been meeting a lot of people for dinner. And coincidentally, I guess, or maybe not coincidentally, maybe it just became apparent. But we had a few dinners in a row where the personality type of the guy was similar.

And it became so obviously apparent to me that that particular personality type wasn't my type. And I didn't, and I mean, the guys varied in age, they varied in like, like just the initial attractiveness, their sense of humor varied, but it was just a certain personality trait that they all had in common. And I realized it was a deal breaker for me. And I was able to share that with you kind of after a while and after I connected the dots. And then you said, yeah, you're right.

don't like that that type of person right and and that's actually probably going to serve us well in the future because now when we run into that type of person you're going to instinctively know that that's not really my deal right um we're on the other side of the table if the woman has two boobs and she smiles at me, I'm good to go. See? No, I'm not making light of it. No. I know you're not making light of it. But I'm saying that's why one person in the relationship needs to be the gas and needs to be the brake, right? And you need to be the gas just as much as I need to be the brake.

Because maybe if it were up to me i would be so risk averse and so passive we wouldn't do anything right that's true you you like to like nudge me and and you know the thing about you that i trust is you know how far i can be nudged before I can't be. So you know how to encourage me to explore new things without forcing me. Is that the right thing to say? Yes. I don't know. It's your opinion. Well, you don't force me.

And actually, I don't let you force me because like i said i don't do roller coasters and and nothing in the world can make me get on them but you also know me really well and you the thing that makes our marriage so wonderful is that we know each other so well, we know how to challenge each other without being critical or pushing the other person into a place they don't want to be. But at the same time, constantly challenging the other person to grow and to experience new things and to learn new things about themselves.

And then, you know, a byproduct of that is that we learn things about each other yep so i you need to be the gas in our relationship oh okay oh noted i'm probably gonna regret saying that i'm sure you are okay it's the tequila hold on while down. Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad it's on tape. Yeah. Um, this is where, this is where the idea of the art comes into play and that's going with your gut. And that is if something just doesn't feel right, pause for a minute to think about it and discuss it. Yes.

And this doesn't mean you have to have a ton of experience in the lifestyle you just have to be experienced in dealing with people and sussing out people and assessing people and observing people and if something doesn't sit well with you it doesn't mean that you shouldn't do anything it means you should think about that for a minute and not just sweep it under the rug and say oh it's probably nothing right you know women are gifted with an oogie alarm and that sounds silly but it it's really true yeah like you know i i really have hairs on the back of my neck that stand up when something creepy is going on that is not like you can't define it and you you can't pinpoint it um it could be the most handsome polite guy in the room and if he i don't know i i don't even he doesn't have to do anything like i can just walk up to him and i'm like yep that is not gonna happen yeah and the poor guy hasn't done anything wrong no it's not about right or wrong it's about connecting yeah yeah um so i think that going with your gut is so impossible to to like teach or talk about or define and i have to give the see the guys need to learn something here and paying attention to the ladies because it's the ladies intuition that is normally spot on and a lot of times us guys will get frustrated with that and we'll say well why don't you want to do it right because she has two boobs and a pretty smile what's wrong and the point that i'm trying to make here is that it need you should not demand an explanation if there's a gut feeling then you should probably pay attention to that and that you should give each other permission to say, okay, you don't owe me an explanation.

If you're not comfortable with this for whatever reason, back to the original point of this podcast, we're a team. And we're beholden to no one.

We're behold beholden to no one i'm out if you're out yeah and so giving permission somebody to go with to one of the the two of you to go with your gut and make that call will help you avoid i think a lot of mistakes and you know the other thing that's in our creed and let's see i don't remember exactly what it says but but essentially it says we're not going to air our dirty laundry in front of other people right um so when when i say peace i'm out you just say okay yeah and and in your mind you're thinking holy shit what's wrong with her right but to everybody else, you're like, okay, honey, let's get our stuff and go.

And then we deal with it later, and that's the whole debriefing piece, I guess. Right. And some people might think that that's really a mistake, but really that's reacting to avoiding mistake. Yeah. another thing i'm going to give you credit for is that you say that if you're not having fun, you're not doing this right. Absolutely. So if you're not having fun, that's a red flag. But what does having fun really mean? So we wanted to break that down for a minute. So, Fawn, in our opinion. Oh, that's easy.

When I feel comfortable around somebody and there's that connection and my little like oogie alarm isn't going off, I'm relaxed and I can be myself. I can just be myself. and that just gives me the opportunity the permission the whatever to just like I don't know let my hair down like if you're not if you're feeling pressured or you're or if your mind is like running 100 miles an hour, like, do I really want to be here? Am I, you know, is this going to be all right? Am I going to end up regretting this? I've never had an orgasm when my mind is running 100 miles an hour like that, right? Right.

Like, I just, you know, when I can relax and just be myself and say whatever I want to say and act however I want to act and not worry about being judged. Right. That that's having fun and that's connecting with people. So it's about being able to laugh, being relaxed, like you mentioned, feeling desired by somebody. Yes. Feeling respected by somebody.

And if you feel like there's a friendship that's developing all that is fun and just to reiterate what you just said feeling pressure sensing drama feeling like you're left out that's not fun right and you know there and it goes um there's two things to being relaxed and feeling like when I'm relaxed, I also can feel more self-confident. Right.

And when I feel more self-confident, not only can I receive pleasure and let my own body relax and respond to what's going on around me, whether it's visual or physical, but I also have the confidence to give pleasure yeah so this is where um we're kind of going off on a tangent here but this is where a lot of people need to understand especially ladies you know i've been with we've been with a lot of people and there's some ladies that i may not be especially attracted to outside of the bedroom but when we get into the bedroom and she feels relaxed and she feels safe and she can feel sexy and she can feel confident all of a sudden she turns into a different person yeah and I'm looking at the same body the same features the person, but all of a sudden they transform into this like sexual being because all those things are in line and they feel their cheeks get rosy.

They start to have that look in their eye and they start to have that sexy, sultry smile and they get confident and they really, you know really turn into, I believe, who they really are. And that's because they feel safe. They feel emotionally safe. Right, right. And that's really what we're after, right? Right. Like, if you're a little unsure about the situation, that means you don't feel safe. Yeah, so this goes right back to what we were saying about waiting and being deliberate. Because guys, and I'm just blaming guys here just in general.

If we're too assertive and we just want the sex, we just want to get on with it, we're not giving the ladies an opportunity to get into that zone where they feel like they're sexual beings. And I think we do need time for that. Right, you do.

And if we don't provide that time, if we're rushing it, if it's a house party or if it's a date and you just want to have sex that night because you have a babysitter and the clock is ticking you're not putting the other person in a position where they can express themselves the way that they can truly express themselves right i mean like speaking of house parties i think that's where we've made our biggest mistake well house parties that we didn't know people yeah because we hosted a couple house parties where we knew everybody and they were fantastic yeah yeah and and i mean the house parties that we've been to as guests both of them have been extremely well run yeah and um great guests right but we made um the the one time i'm thinking of which is one of our worst experiences, we just jumped the gun and decided we wanted to have sex with other people and didn't take the time to make the connection and assess the situation to see if we were really comfortable.

We were just like, okay, well, how bad could this be? And again, if this is not your approach, that's perfectly fine. This is our approach. Right. And the thing about it is we're not asking you to be like us. We're asking you to ask yourselves these questions so that you can decide as a couple what is your mindset, what is your approach. Right, and be true to yourself. Right.

So, you know the so for us because we are slow and um deliberate how did those people describe us on that one bad review as cold oatmeal yes we're the cold oatmeal swingers churchy parent churchy grandparents yes that's us so you know we are slow and deliberate but but at the same time i think um that gives us not a lot of bad stuff to talk about that's how we avoid mistakes which is leading us to as we close the last two things are patience and perseverance yes this can be frustrating yes it takes some time yes it some sacrificing. But the payoff for all of that is well worth it.

It kind of reminds me of the conversation that your parents have with you or my parents had with me when you're a teenage boy and you're, you know, adolescent and you're developing, you're thinking about sex and your parents are saying, believe me, you know, sex is fun, but when you have it in the right relationship with somebody you care about, it's that much more special. You just have to be patient and wait for it. That's right. And I think a lot of that is true in the lifestyle too.

If you're patient, you wait for the right couple, you develop the relationship, you provide that safety and security and respect and desire, your chances of mistakes are going to drop way down. And then your chances of having a mind blowing time are going to be greatly increased. Right. And I can see a bunch of you out there rolling your eyes at us right now because you're new and you're like, I got to figure this out. And I have kids at home. So for me to hire a weekend babysitter is a big deal. Or to get grandma and grandpa to watch at kids for the weekend.

And then if I've got to get grandma and grandpa to watch at kids, like what kind of bullshit story am I going to tell them? Cause I can't tell them what we're really doing. And we can't do this for another month. Right. And the babysitter has to leave at one and it's 11 o'clock and I'm at a house party and I got to pull the trigger. I mean, all of this stuff is a lot of pressure. Right. And it makes you make hasty decisions.

And maybe they're not bad decisions, but they're, you know, they're hasty and maybe you're not as deliberate as you could be with a little bit more, I don't know, patience. But I get it. Like we started swinging after our kids were grown. So we don't have that added layer of complexity to our schedule. So yeah, patience is tough. Yeah. And lastly, persevere.

You you know like we said at the outset you're a team you move forward together and keep trying yeah success become and then i think what happens is you you get to this point where all of a sudden out of the blue without even trying something happens that's really amazing and remarkable and sometimes we realize we're trying too hard to make it happen the first time right but if you persevere and you have the patience believe me you know success is going to become is going to come along when you least expect it right and you know there's that that other saying that that i i said a while ago that you like to refer to every now and again is, you know, I'd rather leave an event regretting something I didn't do versus regretting something that I did do.

Um, so, you know, and, and that's me erring on the side of caution, but honestly, to have to go home from something and clean up a mess is a lot more work than going home and saying shoot i really wish we would have connected with that couple yeah you know let's contact them and see when we can get the calendars to align again so the lesson here is that if you're like us and you want to avoid the mistakes take notes um if you're not if you're not as concerned about it um you know take take it your own pace be it as long as you're a team and you're in this together as long as y'all are on the same page that's right move forward and and then if you make a mistake you just have to learn how to recover from it which we already have a podcast on i don't remember what episode it was.

Yeah. All right. Well, enough about mistakes. When we come back, we're going to talk about snapshots that were definitely not mistakes. No, definitely not. We'll be right back.

Welcome back to snapshots what's your snapshot i'm going first okay okay my snapshot is um during the penthouse party yeah so well we already talked about the first thing that, I mean mean my snapshot is walking into that ridiculous penthouse thinking who the hell are we and how do we get to here right like we always just get like the normal king-size bedroom like we don't ever do a suite or anything fancy like that so the the space itself was incredible um but then to walk in and and um the the gentleman that had done the laser show and to see our logo like in lights literally like that's the first time i think we've been in lights right yeah i felt right like so like literally emotionally overwhelmed by that right um and then just like being with our people like i felt like i was so you had was with my people.

You have a lot of Las Vegas strip. Let me set the scene. You have Barry Manilow, Celine Dion, Donny Osmond, Donny Osmond. And we got a thing. Yes. Yes. Don't forget Blue Man Group. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, so I, I was just like in awe of that, but then just, we had so much fun with people and um you know after a year and a half of not physically interacting with people right it was so fun to just be with all these these peeps right so but the penthouse had like a you know like a substantial wet bar in it so after they left, like they left all the setup and there was ice and stuff.

And everybody had done BYOB for after the bartenders. So anyway, a friend of ours was inside the wet bar area. It was kind of like galley shaped. So she was inside the wet bar area. And I think she wanted help making a drink or something.

But anyway, I ended up inside the wet bar area and I think she wanted help making a drink or something but anyway I ended up inside the wet bar area like shocker I was in there making drinks and there was a bottle of red wine there and there was another another gentleman there not her husband her husband was with her but there was another guy there in the wet bar area with me. And he was, and I know him pretty well. And I knew the lady pretty well. And she said, you know, I've never done a body shot before. And I was like, what? Because they're not super newbies.

I'm like, I can't believe you've never done a body shot before. She's like, no, like nobody's ever done a body shot off of me before I'm like well that is tragic so I'm like what do you want to do it with and she had a bottle of red wine and I'm thinking oh lord like red wine's gonna stain everything right because I'm like a neat freak so I'm like oh I don't know if I can do this without making a mess and then the guy my friend standing next to me he's like he's like, well, I'll help you. And I'm like, well, okay, between the two of our tongues, we'll certainly be able to clean it up.

So sure enough, she pulled her dress down and we did a body shot off of her and it was so much fun. And her husband was standing behind her.

So was this a body shot where she was on her back she was it was her i did it off of her breasts and her stomach oh okay um so she basically leaned back she's tiny and her husband's very tall um so she kind of like leaned back into him and he was kind of supporting her and then my guy friend and i were like just licking up her belly onto her breasts and and getting all the wine off and um and her husband was mesmerized he's like he's like i just can't believe i just saw that like that was so cool and it was just so much fun so i'm like oh that was really cool you know i got to do a body shot off of her so that was my first looking experience but not my last.

So then I had changed my clothes into some lingerie because my flapper girl dress was like really heavy it was like like flapper girl dresses are all sequinity and they're they're heavy and scratchy so I had like a like a black like little chemise thing on that like kind of barely covered my butt cheeks. My legs were showing and I still had my heels on and stuff. So we were talking with some other new friends of ours that are somewhat local to us here at home. And we were getting to know them better because again, we knew them via zoom, but not face to face.

So anyway, that we were all talking and she had a special like liquor with her that she wanted me to try. So I had tried it and I liked it and it was really tasty. And it was just she and her husband and me for quite a few minutes, the three of us. And then you stumbled upon us.

And she said, do you want to try my my drink and you were like okay so she got another little shot glass out and they were the like the little tiny red solo cup shot glasses so she got and you have it in your hand but like you were reaching across me and she was reaching across me to pour it so when she she poured it, she didn't stop pouring it. She just kept pouring it. It was in this little red solo cup. So it's over spilling. And it's like landing on my the top of my thigh and just running down my leg. And everybody was we were like, stop. And she's like, Oh, God, I can't stop.

So eventually, obviously she stopped pouring it. But in the meantime, all of this liquor had run down my leg. And I'm like, well, that's tragic. Like all this liquor spilled. And her husband's like, I'll clean it up.

So then he just started, he just leaned over and he just started like licking my, like from my calf all the way up my knee, all the way up my thigh, because it had literally run down my whole leg and it was sticky that so that was my snapshot and then funny like so you gave you you gave a body shot and you received the body shot yes i've never received a full leg all the way almost up to the crotch you've had body shots off of you before at Desire. Yeah, I know. I had some serious ones last year. But no, this was fun. Yeah. Sounds like it. I wish I was there. You were. It was so fun.

It was a great night. Well, my snapshot, I think you'll remember. We happened to find ourselves the last night Thank you. And I was so happy to be the recipient of two sexy women that actually respected my boundaries unlike my wife. So, I am going to defend myself here. What did I tell them right up front? The same thing I told them. No, I told them first. I know, but I didn't have to. I said, stay away from his nipples. Yeah, because I'm the only one that can tease him with the nipples even though he doesn't't like it. So the only thing that I had on was some, like, sheer underwear.

They were very sexy. And I was laying on my back, and one of the sexy ladies was behind me, and my head was resting on her thighs. And the other woman was at my, like, she had, like, straddled my legs, and she was coming at me me from the bottom and i closed my eyes because i wanted to experience the pleasure of the you know first of all it's unknown you don't know where you're going to get hit but i trusted the fact that they weren't going to hit my nipples and they didn't right she wanted to so bad i know but she didn't she didn't. That's why I was able to enjoy it.

And laying there, and we've known them for a long time, and I just adore them both. And I felt like, you know, it's kind of like when you explained how, when you did the rope thing with the gentleman, that the two of them were enjoying it so much that I could feel that like I could sense that they were enjoying it as much as I was enjoying it yeah and that made a huge difference and I was able to I mean they did zap me a couple of times between the legs but that actually felt good and. And evidently they had turned up higher than they normally do for people.

But I just enjoyed laying there completely comfortable, back to what you were saying earlier about being relaxed, feeling safe, being with friends. they were having fun and i just enjoyed them giving me this so they had the violet wand and they used several different attachments on me well she had the um the fingers like she had grounded herself yeah and then she had the metal fingers that the like spiky things that she put on all four of her fingers right like Edward's in her hands yeah yeah And then she had the metal fingers, like spiky things that she put on all four of her fingers.

Right, like Edward Scissor's hands. Yeah, it was like Edward Scissor's hands. And she was grounded, so she was like stroking you with the four fingers. Yeah, I'll tell you what. I mean, you and I have dabbled in this kind of stuff.

But to be around people who know what the hell they're doing yeah they do they actually know what they're doing number one they know what they were doing number two I trusted them and and three like I said they were enjoying so people that do this well enjoy it and they just it seems like they get just as much out of giving that as somebody does that receiving and you know there was no sex involved and no orgasm involved but it's that whole idea of trusting and opening yourself up to try new things and it was pretty amazing and this was just after we had come out of the room where they were doing flogging yeah and we we witnessed all of that so anyway my snapshot is laying there practically naked on my back where these two sexy women were having their way with me and their electric one their uh violet wands Well, you know, that is a, I suspected that was going to be your snapshot.

But that, I actually stopped what I was doing. And I sat down in an armchair just by myself. And I watched the three of you. And it was amazing watching the three of you.

And I well first of all both of those ladies are like glamour shots beautiful yeah um and they're both very confident secure ladies that are also extremely warm yeah um i don't think either one of them have a mean bone in their body so it was a completely this is what we were talking about earlier like um what fun is this was fun because it was a very safe environment that's what i was saying yep Yeah, so everybody could relax and just receive and give without any threat of like judgment or displeasure or anything. Right.

And it's the same way when I watched you receive the rope treatment from the gentleman. I mean, I couldn't do that know and the fact that he could like receiving it from somebody who knows what they're doing just like he did with the ropes enjoys what he and i watched him the same way you were watching me i watched him put the ropes on you and he was enjoying himself and you were responding to that and that i think is a part of this whole, not necessarily just BDSM, but the whole kink scene. That's what it's about. It's about an exchange of energy. It's about trust. Yes, it's an energy.

I think you just hit it. Yeah.

And you have to put yourself in a position where you're not thinking about i'm going to get whipped or i'm going to get tied up or i'm going to get shocked it's not about that it's about trusting the people allowing yourself to relax receiving what they're giving you and then accepting it in a way that's pleasurable and then learning through that process what you enjoy about that and what you don't enjoy about that and so that whole exchange and i'm not sure how long i was there maybe 15 20 minutes or so but well i know when we finally thought about the time and we said what time is it somebody said 3 30 and we were like shit we have a 10 o'clock flight well that ended up getting yeah that got canceled and yeah yeah but at the time we had a 10 o'clock flight yeah we hadn't gone to bed that sobered me up pretty quick yeah anyway a special thank you to you two ladies for for giving me that gift that was quite amazing and we're looking forward to las vegas in 2022 well hopefully before then we'll see them yeah but we're looking forward to vegas yes all right well it's time to wrap up yeah 88 Are we recording still?

We are. Thank you. Yeah. We don't have to do this a third time. We'd love for you to join our We Gotta Thing community. You can visit our website at wegotathing.com. Yep. And find out how to join us. It's growing. And you know what? The community is not about us. No, it's not. The community has definitely taken off on a life of its own. I mean, like we said, this Las Vegas event had really nothing to do with us. Yeah, it came about from within the community. And there's been other events.

And there will be other events in different areas of the country that are being organized with some amazing people. We have incredible leaders in our community. There's been parties in Atlanta for the Southeast Group. We're talking about a Bourbon Trail event for the people in the Bourbon Trail area. The people in the southwest part of the country have done a separate meet and greet. And the D.C. area has a chat that's going strong and people are doing events. So it's really cool. So please continue to, we love to receive your emails.

You can email me at mrjones, M-R-J-O-N-E-S at wegotathing.com. Or me at mrsjones at wegotathing.com. If you visit our website at W-E-G-O-T-T-A-T-H-I-N-G.com, you can also contact us through our website. And we're on Twitter at WeGotAThing. And you can find us on Pinterest and then the dating sites DDN and SDC and Cassidy. If you join through our website, you get free trial memberships there to check those out. And those are the three dating sites that we highly recommend. That's right. And you can also book trips to Desire through our website.

And you can sign up for our newsletter on our website. So that wraps up episode 88. Anything else, honey? I don't know. We're back in the swing of things finally. Thank goodness. We are Mr. and Mrs. Jones, and we got a thing. What's your thing? We'll see you next time.