Episode 87: Normalization by Exposure

Transcript

This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-pos positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us?

hello everyone i'm mr jones and i'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 87 of the we got a thing podcast normalization by exposure that's a mouthful yeah well we'll talk about that in a second okay well i think we're going to talk about it in like over the next like hour plus we are yeah a couple of announcements before we get there though um hot off the press yes as of like 30 minutes ago yeah podcast recording time zone we have We've finalized our meet and greet in Denver, Colorado. Yep. And it is now available to all members of our community to book. Yep.

So if you are in our community, look for that and book, because everybody in the community is guaranteed a slot. If you're not in our community and you want to go to Denver, you should check out our website and join. Yeah, it'll just be a nice relaxing weekend with like 100 plus like really sexy people. Yes. I mean, that's relaxing, right? Right. It'll lower your blood pressure. Yeah, we finally got a contract with the restaurant. And of course, we have plans to go tolet Ranch and a few other things happening on the weekend, and we're really looking forward to that. Yeah.

But this coming weekend. Yes. We are going to Las Vegas, Nevada, and we're going to take over the Playhouse LV. Yes, we are. We had a chance to speak with Dave and Nicole, the owners of Playhouse LV, when we were at PCAP, and they are ready for us. Thank you. Yes, we are. And we had a chance to speak with Dave and Nicole, the owners of Playhouse LV, when we were at PCAP. And they are ready for us. I think so. I hope the hotel's ready for us. I know. There's a bunch of us staying at the same hotel. It's going to be crazy. It's like a mini event that's going on.

But we have a lot of friends that we're going to meet out there. And thanks to all of you who have organized, semi-organized this trip, even though it's not one of our official meet and greets, it's turning into... No, honey, not semi-organized. There's a core group of people that have done amazing organization and planning. I know, they do better planning than we do. I know. It's going to be so fun. I mean, like, we have theme nights.

Like, it's it's gonna be real i know we'll be able to talk more about it next month yeah if we survive and we just changed our flights we're actually going out a day early now i know i can't wait a couple more days just a little excited and it's only gonna be 163 degrees in vegas when we get there I hope the tires don't melt on the runway. Didn't that happen in like Phoenix one year? Yeah, if it's too hot. Yeah. We might get stranded there. Yeah. Oh, well. Tragic. So keeping up with the Joneses, life is semi back to normal. I know.

It feels weird to go out without a mask on i know but i'm definitely getting over it but it still feels a little woogie like there's a well you you just traveled and and i know you're going to mention that in a minute but um you had to wear a mask a lot i did on the train it was kind of a rude awakening on the subway yeah in the airport and the uber on the airplane yeah yeah having to put that mask back on wasn't wasn't much fun but um yeah we did go to podcast a palooza and i know that there are several other podcasts that are out there kind of doing a recap on that um so we're not going to do a recap but we're going to talk about it a little bit because we had a lot of can we talk about how much fun we had?

We can. Oh, my gosh. It was fun. So it started out, though, interesting. Oh, yeah. This is my bad. We were standing at the Miami airport. And the plane was full. And the whole plane was standing around the baggage carousel. And it wasn't moving. Right. Right. And it had our flight number on it.

You know, we were at the right place and like we recognized everybody that had been sitting around us on the airplane and everybody's just standing there right yeah and the carousel was empty and not moving so the observant me because you're brilliant that way i looked down the hallway and there was another carousel full of bags with no people around it it was just spinning and spinning spinning and i said honey i bet you our bags are down there you stay here don't say anything and i'm gonna run down i'm gonna grab our bags we'll be the first ones out we'll get in our uber we'll get to the hotel early so sure enough you went over there observant me and you found two bags.

I found our bags. No. You found two bags. Put them in the car. I was patting myself on the back. We were about 10 minutes from the hotel when the Miami airport called and said, you took the wrong bag. so observant me was in such a rush to get our bags off the carousel and you know the little sign up there and the announcement they make that say a lot of bags look alike that's true no shit but our bag has this obnoxious lime green luggage tag on it I I know. For that very reason. I guess you forgot to check for that, right? My rods and cones aren't what they used to be.

So then we had to turn around and go all the way back to the airport. And I had to apologize to the guy. He was very nice. Sorry about that. So then we ended up being the very last people out of the airport instead of the first. Right. It delayed our trip by about an hour. And it was a $160 Uber ride. Right. There were all kinds of penalties attached to that. Yeah. Yeah, it was an expensive ride. But anyway, the event itself, first of all, the weather was beautiful. Kate did an amazing job. For those of us who were not privy to the behind-the-scenes things going on, it was perfect. Yeah.

There was nothing wrong at all. It flowed smoothly as far as we know. But we know that events like that always have the things that are going on in the background. And she did a great job. It was a lot of fun.

fun yes and i think the thing about podcastapalooza we've been to a lot of large lifestyle events in the past and why i think kate's is refreshing is that first of all her focus is a hundred percent on the attendee yeah you know she doesn't have that i'm trying to make money on this you know mantra about it it's it's all about the attendee We you know she doesn't have that i'm trying to make money on this you know mantra about it it's it's all about the attendee yeah and she goes above and beyond and it's very very inclusive and it's inviting to newbies and young swingers and middle-aged swingers and us she was very creative the themes were very creative you know, I think having a wide group of podcasters and bloggers come together really provided a great group of people.

It brought together a great group of people. Yes. Because there were, I don't know, like how many podcasters and bloggers were there? I'd say a dozen. A dozen, yeah. So you just had all kinds of perspectives being represented. And, you know, I was impressed at the self-discipline of the attendees because there were workshops by all the different podcasters and bloggers all day long, every day. And the weather in Miami that week could not have been nicer. I mean, it was like high 70s, low humidity for South Florida and just not a cloud in the sky. It was so perfect.

And people would come in from the pool to go to a workshop at like two o'clock in the afternoon. That blows my mind. Yeah. Yeah, so thank you all for that.

Those of y'all that came to our workshop that we had a fun workshop and um and yeah all the all the workshops were really well attended and very the um the people were very interactive and not afraid to ask questions and comments and yeah you know hecklers and all in good fun so it was great and i actually dressed up two of the three nights and i and i lived through the experience yes mr jones aka david lee roth hey i'm just a gigolo it was pretty fitting yeah it was a lot of fun so just a special thank you to kate and a special thank you to her supporting cast and all the other podcasts and bloggers the content creators that were there the friends that we met the old friends that we were able to catch up to i think yes there was a couple of playrooms and yes obviously that was going on but i felt like the whole weekend was just, when I felt it the most, and I love hugging Tiffany and Rachel to begin with from the Suffolk Swingers, but especially Tiffany's hugs are just the best hugs.

And she squeezes the life out of you, which is one thing, but it felt so good to touch people again and to hug people again and not have to be concerned as much about things as we were in the past. So, you know, that really was kind of the, I felt like the weekend was a lot of socializing and it was a lot of connecting and people touching each other again. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway. In affectionate ways and sexy ways. Yeah. Yeah.

We enjoyed it all yes we did yeah and as mrs jones just mentioned i i did have another trip to um kansas city last week and have to throw kudos out to our kansas city party hosts again i know sounds like you were well taken care of once again and yeah even though and they threaten every time i go out there they threaten not to invite me back if i don't bring you with me and you stood us up again yeah one of these days and you even got to meet new people this time i did like i'm i don't know what makes me more jealous getting to see old friends right are getting to meet all these new sexy people yeah and and when I left here honey I just said there's only one thing that I want you to do for me when I'm gone just one thing I know and I fucked it up I said and this like I mean if I miss trash day I get I get stomach cramps I know you do I don't know.

up i said and this like i mean if i miss trash day i get i get stomach cramps i know you do you do it's very important i mean in this city the trash guy comes once a week i get it out there 5 p.m the day before put it in this proper place right next to the recycle bin right at the same place at the curb because the garbage people are really nice and they're really punctual and I want my trash picked up. That's right. And I forgot to send you a reminder. I know. And I just assumed that you would. And I woke up. So I was supposed to take it out Wednesday night and I didn't.

So then Thursday morning I woke up and I knew when I woke up that I had to take the trash out. But then I realized had no flipping idea what time they came so it was like 6 45 when I thought of it so then I went downstairs got the you know trash out of the kitchen can and I was gonna take that outside and I was gonna go upstairs and get like trash out of my office and then I hear the trash truck and I'm like, no, literally like flying down the steps.

Well, in the meantime, I sat the bag of kitchen trash like by the back door and our sweet little dog who looks so innocent decided she was going to tear up the trash. So then I had like kitchen trash all over like I could have killed her.

So anyway, I'm getting that up and I'm running outside and I'm just going to take them my little bag of kitchen trash at this point because that's all I got because our driveway is so narrow that we can't wheel the can out without like actually pulling the car forward a little bit so the trash can I thought was trapped but then I ran outside and I looked and the trash can was missing and I'm like somebody stole our trash can I'm like wait that doesn't make any sense nobody was stealing trash can and then the trash lady there's a man and a woman that run the trash truck and the trash lady is like waving at me and she's like I've got your can over here and I'm I was like what like you couldn't have my can because that would require you to be nice.

And normally people aren't nice, right, in the service industry. You just expect everybody to be grumpy. Well, they had gone around the side of the house, got the ��� these are the big old cans on wheels. The guy picked up our trash can and lifted it over our car because it wouldn't wheel through. So he actually lifted it up and over our car to dump the trash. And she said, I just assumed y'all might be out of town and that you forget, you know. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, I can't believe you did that. They were so sweet. I know. This city is great. Yes.

So you owe them some like muffins or brownies or something? Yeah, I'm going to make them some muffins. I have to do that tomorrow night. Yeah, okay. Well, they bailed your ass out. I know they did. I can't believe it. Yeah, one job to do, and I messed it up. Well, thank you to my very, very special Kansas City friends, and you know who you are. Yep. And looking forward to seeing you next time because they're trying to convince us to come out there for Halloween. I'm pretty sure we're going for that. Yeah, I told them this weekend in Las Vegas they need to twist your arm a little bit. Yeah.

So you might want to resist a little bit. You'll get a little bit more attention. Oh, really? Yeah. Good plan. Last but not least, inside of our community, we have regional groups in our D..C. regional group, we met at a winery a week ago Sunday and met some new friends there. Had a great day at the winery. Yep, caught up with old friends, met new friends. World opening back up. I know.

Unfortunately, it was kind of a going-away party for one of the couples near us so they're moving away that's a bummer I guess we'll just have to go visit them oh well alright so when we come back we are going to try to explain a little bit about what we mean by normalization by exposure it's easy we'll be right back. Welcome back to segment two, normalization by exposure. I mean, I can sum this up in like one sentence. Okay. This would be a miracle. I'm ready. Go ahead. Too bad this isn't a video cast. They could see me flipping you off right now. Or do you say never say never?

I said never say never. So let's talk about this. So we first of all we should say that episode 86 that we had last month about buy something in the lifestyle. Yes. We have received many, many more comments on this episode than we have just about any other episode that we've done. That is so true. I think it really struck a chord with a lot of people from all different like perspectives.. We're definitely going to do a follow-up on this one because some of the comments and the emails that we got were just very interesting.

And we've definitely struck a nerve and touched on something that is underrepresented in the lifestyle. And we're excited about that. And we're excited about the number of people that did their homework assignment too. Well, clearly it's a conversation that needs to be brought more into the open, I think. Yeah, right. So, and after that episode, one of our listeners, and they follow us on Twitter, and if you're on Twitter, their handle is Sonoma Pair, as in Sonoma, California, Sonoma Pair. And he wrote a guest blog for us that's on our website at WeGotAThing.com.

And the name of his blog post is This One Time at Band Camp. Which is so perfect. And he talks about taking our homework assignment seriously. And he and his wife had an experience with another couple and the gentleman tried something unique and different and new to them. And he explains his thinking behind that and how it went and how it affected him. Right. And what kind of precipitated the whole thing to begin with, you know, between he and his wife. Yes, right.

Anyway, what we didn't also tell them is in the middle of that blog post that he wrote, he used a phrase called normalization by exposure. And he was meaning it in reference to by curiosity for men. Yeah. And, you know, but when I read that phrase, I thought, you know what, there's a whole lot more in that, that normalization by exposure. It's not just bisexuality or bi curiosity. It really applies to everything across the lifestyle. It does.

And you know what I thought of when when i read that is um you know like uh the the new way to learn a language and this really isn't the new way it's the original way and then we changed it all in in the public school system is you know the easiest way to learn a language is by immersion yes right you just like throw yourself into it and you learn just as a matter of self-defense now we obviously don't explore sexuality as a means of self-defense.

But when you put yourself into a situation, either through research or talking to other people or just diving in and trying it, it does kind of take the stigma away right and you already used the word the phrase never say never and we did an episode not too long ago about never would i ever and we talked a lot about the things that we never thought we would do but this really gets down into the why why do we have these misperceptions and then then why, after some experience or immersion or exposure, do we find that we're in a different place?

So we want to talk tonight about the perceptions that people have before they get into the lifestyle, when they're new into the lifestyle, and even those of us who are veterans in the lifestyle, these perceptions that we have that can change, you know, based on being exposed to something that you never thought you'd be exposed to. So, I mean, from, let's start with before, and we can all relate to this, before we ever get into the lifestyle, we have this perception of this great unknown, this lifestyle that we've heard about. Where it's kind of like scary and creepy and... Skeezy was the word.

That's like your new favorite word. Well, we got an email from a listener who said they thought the lifestyle was skeezy before they got into it and i said i like that word i'm stealing it so creepy skeezy sleazy uh sexual deviance whatever exactly you think everybody's gonna attack you and that and that you're supposed to like just have sex with anybody and so where we are with this is we typically we were we're intrigued about meeting other people on potentially sex with other people. But then we dismiss it and we say, well, I'm not like that.

Or the kind of people that I want to connect with aren't there because they're, you know, whatever word you want to use to describe it. But that perception changes, you know, once you get in. So we're going to talk about what it takes to get beyond those perceptions and perspectives and why it doesn't matter if you're new or not. If you lose that mindset and you think you've made it, you're still missing opportunities to try new things. Yeah. So are you ready? Yes, let's go.

Okay, so pre-lifestyle perceptions okay so so we had to think back seven years right ago right and it was intriguing but to actually do it right i mean you know like that wasn't gonna be Like, I could never do that. Right. Yeah. Like, you know, okay, someday when we have a threesome, hee, you know, but that ain't going to ever happen, buddy. No. I mean, how many decades did I say that? Right. So, our perception was that's intriguing, but we could never do that. Right. Right. And we also thought, I'm not, or we are not like those people in the lifestyle. I know, we were ridiculous knobs.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, we thought we were better than everyone else. That we wouldn't dare find people that we would connect with. I know. Or we would think it sounds, it's intriguing, but it sounds wrong, or it's bad, or it's sinful. Exactly. That's what we've been taught, right? Right. And we've been taught that by mainstream society. So it's one thing to fantasize about it, and it's another thing to actually act upon it. Correct.

You know, I remember one time in church, the pastor didn't want people to watch Game of Thrones because, you know, it was so violent and there was so much sexuality in it and there was so much nudity in it. And it's like, you know what? That's human behavior. And that's how human behavior has evolved. You know, men used sex as a power play. And they used as a way to to gain power, to gain property, actually. Yeah. You know, so sex has always been like used to control either and to keep you from doing something or to hold that over you.

Let's just say that oftentimes it's been used as other than the way that it was originally intended exactly yeah well actually it was probably intended to procreate and now we intend it to be just fun and we use birth control to not procreate well um yeah but i mean so like we've been taught that sex is something either negative or just like productive to procreate Thank you. Yeah. But I mean, so like we've been taught that sex is something either negative or just like productive to procreate. And so we don't think we're allowed to have fun. Yeah.

And before we get into this, we also think, gosh, we could if we did this, we could never see anybody locally. We could never have any friends that live near us. Yeah.

And we could never put a profile online where other people might find us yeah or we could never allow lifestyle couples into our real lives and and uh know who we really are we're going to come up with fake names and we're going to be totally different people yeah well we've uh screwed all of that up but we'll get to that in a minute because i what i'm trying to do is i'm i'm hoping that this resonates with a lot of people i say you that you'll stick around and listen to how that could change or how that will change or how it might change for the better yeah so those are some perceptions of you get into the lifestyle.

Okay, now we've kind of moved beyond that. And we're just we've decided we're going to give this a try. So we're newbies in the lifestyle. So what are some perceptions of us being newbies in the lifestyle? Well, then everybody's going to want to have sex with you. Yeah, I know. That happens all the time. So whether it's a meet and greet or a house party, or even if you're going to email another couple in a profile, people are afraid. If I entered... Yeah, I know. That happens all the time.

So whether it's a meet and greet or a house party, or even if you're going to email another couple in a profile, people are afraid if I introduce myself or if I send them a message, they're going to think that we want to fuck them. Right. Or when somebody approaches us, I'm afraid that's what they're going to want to do. Right. And you know, the flip side is true too, because it has so much to do with our self-esteem. So, well, first of all, you think everybody's like a sex addict, right?

And like just sex addict right and like just they want to just fuck and that's all it's about right but um you know so ironically you know and and this is just me being like a stereotypical mean person but you know like if you're really hot then you think everybody's going to want to have sex with you and And maybe if you're just like a normal person and you're, you know, attractive, but maybe you've had a couple kids and you've had a couple extra decades on you, maybe you'll think that nobody wants to have sex with you. So you have these two things going on.

But either way, the bottom line that I'm trying to make is that we initially think it's all about sex. Yes.

Right of is at the end of the day but but really there's so much more to it that's the perception you're exactly right also when we're new we feel like we have to have a list of rules yeah you know no kissing we're only going to do parallel play or we're never going to do this it you have a we had a very um detailed list of of rules on how we would engage right but but wait i think that that was good oh yes we're not saying any of this is bad this is just reality yeah i mean you need that at first because you you've got to have those guardrails so that your your relationship doesn't get right of kilter.

Right. Yeah. You shouldn't be listening to us say anything now that is meant to be judgmental or to say that it's wrong or bad. Okay. This is just reality. All right. As a matter of fact, I got all these from thinking back to us. All right.

I just wanted to make sure you weren't saying was that was like silly or something yeah another thing that we always told each other was we're never we'll probably never have close friends in the lifestyle like we already have our close friends we have our close vanilla friends and we and we're family we just want to have sexy fun with these people why would we want to have friendships with them yeah right because we already have busy lives so yeah we don't have room for anything else. And the one thing that you told me was that single guys were off limits. Yeah, I did say that. I'm so silly.

Such a silly girl. I know. Oh, and then the whole like, if we date anywhere in our state, somebody's going to recognize us. Yeah. And then, you you know the whole world's going to come crashing and we have really important jobs so yeah everybody has everybody everybody has a lot to lose yeah um we talked about last week about last month about you know everybody thinks that women must be by something which i think we shot holes holes in last week. And then lastly, we think if somebody recognized us, our lives, our world would just come crashing down.

You know, if somebody sees us at a club and recognizes us, even though they're in the lifestyle, we have this fear that, you know, things are just going to, I have to get out. Okay, so you're talking about somebody else in the lifestyle, recognizing you. You assume that they're going to out you, but that's not necessarily true. Right, I'm just saying that's the perception. Yeah. That you don't want to run into somebody that you know. Right. Because that would be awkward. It would be awkward. Right. Yeah. So those are common misperceptions. No, not misperceptions.

Those are common actual perceptions and perspectives of people who are new to the lifestyle. Yeah. And again, that's because it's all foreign to them. So you have to set up these parameters, right, as safety nets. Yes. Yeah. Exactly exactly because you haven't normalized it yet i'm just i'm just going back to the title babe you're right aren't you proud of me you're right okay i'm following your outline you're right you're getting it all right i know one person out there gets it am i gonna get a star a sticker you'll get more than that all right talk more about that later.

All right, I know one person out there gets it. Am I going to get a star or a sticker? You'll get more than that. All right. Talk more about that later. All right. So now we've been doing this for a while. We've made it. So what are our perspectives at this point? Oh, well, then we've made it. We've got it figured out. Who are you talking about? I'm just saying that. You weren't talking about the Joneses. That's our perception. That could be our perception. No, that's a newbie's perception of veterans. Honey, we have a podcast. We know everything. Yeah. We're not going to mess up. Yeah.

Honey, they know us. I'm just saying that that's a perception. I know. That we're going to shoot holes in. Yeah. No kidding. It's not true. Sometimes you get veteran people saying that I'm a full swap couple. Like it's a badge of honor. Yeah. Like I've made it like I graduated to be in full swap. Yeah. And that's what I am. Put that label on me. That's what I am. And some people like that label. I know. Big old sticker. Uh, some people who are veterans say, you know, we could never be poly or we could never be into BDSM. So you're saying that's like the next level for veterans.

OK, so now we've made it. We're a full swap couple. We've, you know, been around the bend a couple of times. But now the whole poly thing or the kink scene. Oh, that just freaks me out. Is that just. Yeah, that's what people. That's like the next frontier that is like, uh-uh. Yeah, you would never. A lot of people get into swinging. They figure it out. They're veterans. And they say, well, I could never be. Well, I even buy something as a man. I could never be bicarious as a man. Right. I could never be polyamorous with another couple. Right. I could never get into that BDSM and kink. Yeah.

I mean, still, here we are as veterans.

And I say that, too that too like i'm really not into the kink scene says the girl who just let a guy like tie her up a couple months ago i know and i loved it i know you did yes um the other thing is we can't um we can't say i'll always be straight especially us guys that's what i just mentioned and i think we should talk a little bit about this because it ties into what we talked about last month but it also ties into what you and i have been experiencing because i have to give you credit that when you were home while i was in kansas city forgetting and you were forgetting to take the trash Clearly I was thinking about other more important things.

Why don't you just tell everybody what you were thinking about? Well, so we've just had so many interesting conversations and coincidental things happening in sequence one another, that it just kind of got me thinking about, you know, what's, what's going on with like, you and I like, like, what's our next frontier? Do we need a next frontier? Are we satisfied with where we are? Do we need to spice up our personal sex lives? I mean, we have fun swinging, that's for sure.

And, and our personal sex life is good good but is there i i say this a lot if you're not growing you're dying yes and and there really are like a finite number of ways to have sex yes but you know is there something that we haven't tried as a couple because it's it's safety zone here in our house with just the two of us so before you go on can i just interject here yeah because am i using too many words no no no you're at the you're segwaying at the right time but i want to just remind people where we're shifting now so we talked about what perceptions were pre-lifestyle newbie in the lifestyle veterans in the lifestyle so what i think we're you're starting to talk about now what i really want to talk about is being exposed yeah so in order for these perceptions to fade into reality yeah we have to make the decision and the choice to expose ourselves to them because so many people email us or ask us question after question i'm like finally i said look we've we've recorded 86 podcasts i've answered all of your questions you know what you have to do?

Expose yourself to it. You have to take the first step. You have to take some sort of action, no matter how prepared you are. That perception is not going to turn into reality until you as a couple or an individual decide to take that first step.

So what we want to talk about now are things that we have tried to normalize and and i i wanted to i knew that i knew where you're going with this so i wanted to kind of set it up a little bit so pardon the interruption but continue with where you were going well um let's see what uh so you know we did our episode on bisexuality um our friends wrote the blog for us and kind of shared the story that they experienced.

You know, you and I had talked about, you know, there's, there were, and we mentioned it on the last episode, you know, there were a couple of times where we played with friends and interactions happened that we weren't expecting. And, you know, nothing came of it. And, you know, in hindsight, did nothing come of it because you really weren't interested or just because you weren't expecting it and hadn't talked about it and weren't prepared for it? Right.

You know, and there's no answer to that question because, you know's 20 20 so i guess i'm i was just started thinking about so what what's going on between you and i like you know you talked about the fact that prostate play has been something that you and i have kind of bounced around over the years and and maybe explored it here or there there, but never really, um, pursued it because I think with something like that, you have to be deliberate about it and it takes practice, I guess. Right. Um, and I think we would maybe try it and then it wouldn't go so great.

And then we would just kind of put it on the back burner and then we'd find something else to. Well, if I can interject here, because you brought that up. So my perception was that, first of all, I was curious about it. And and you all can go back to listen to what I said a lot about my background in episode 86. But I wasn't confident that I was I was a little bit afraid to tell you that I was that interested in it or move forward with it because I didn't know how you were going to respond. You know, we've been married a long time and we were kids together.

And so to get to this place this many years later and tell you that I might be interested in prostate play and actually doing it, I thought, well, is she going to be interested? Is she going to think less of me because of that? Is she going to be turned off by the whole idea? All these things are going through my head, and so I, and you know, and then I was convincing myself, you know, it's not that big of a deal. I could do without it. It's probably not even worth taking the risk, you know, to bring it up. So I was sending like wishy-washy signals to you. Yes, you were. Yes.

You don't have to agree with me so fervently.

But I guess the reason I'm being so exuberant about that is because isn't it ridiculous that we have been together you know the vast majority of our lives and like we've been through so much together and we've had so much fun together why why can't we talk about that like we we should be able to talk about anything right I told you you need to go back and listen to episode 86 please so like i'm asking it rhetorically babe like okay it's isn't that crazy how a couple that is so close and so together there's still topics where it's hard to get the words to actually come out of your mouth i I still have a perception, as we were talking about earlier.

I still have this perception that these things could happen, and I'm a risk-averse person anyway. But all of this has come together at the same point.

So continue your story about what you decided to do when I was out of town from your perspective I just I decided that we needed to like try something different so because I well first of all okay to back up the train like in our ladies group we have this book club and we've been reading some like heavy stuff so um somebody suggested that we just read like an anthology of erotica oh i have to thank the ladies group thank you thank you ladies group in the we gotta think community okay go ahead so anyway one of the so we're reading two stories every time we meet and um So the one of the two stories and we met last wednesday night which was trash night so again i have another excuse yeah all right so i make the trash people muffins and trash goes through the curb at 5 p.m your ladies group doesn't start till nine whatever go ahead i had procrastinated and i had to read okay and i had to like lay on the bed while i was reading in my lingerie and i took a picture of myself and sent it to you you did yeah so see that's what i was doing when i should have been taking the trash out thank you ladies okay anyway one of the stories was about um two guys and it was it was kind of like a mindless hookup um And I um that's probably the first time i had ever read uh like a piece of erotica about two gay guys um i've seen you know a little bit of gay porn here or there but the story really turned me on and it just really got me thinking.

And it was in my mind, the story was very visual. I could see what they were doing and I wanted I wanted to see it. And as I was fantasizing about it, I was thinking about your body. And almost almost interjecting you into the story. So what happened from there is I started like telling myself, well, you know, Mr. Jones isn't bisexual. And how could I fulfill that fantasy?

Yes, I was actually having fantasies, like it was crazy um how could I fulfill that fantasy within the boundaries of what you are comfortable with but I can still get that that like that mental picture and and that same scenario um so then I just started like thinking and shopping and, yeah. And you bought? Oh. Um, so then I just started like thinking and shopping and yeah. And you bought, um, I bought you lots of stuff. I bought you, I bought you toys and I bought you cock rings and I bought you underwear and I bought you like ridiculously racy underwear.

I don't think, I don't think that there's enough material on some of that stuff to call it underwear i know there's really not some of it's just kind of elastic so i came home well first of all i got a text of you in your lingerie with my kindle which is amazing i don't do that very often you don't and then you actually said that you had fantasies which you thought you came home to the wrong way yeah i had to sit down and reread the text and oh my gosh my wife's had fantasies then i came home and you wanted to show me everything and you wanted to tell me about that story that you read and I can tell you that when you started talking about that I just felt so relieved not because you were having fantasies I mean yes that was true I was more turned on than than relieved about that but the fact that you thought that that kind of thing was, it all of a sudden made the risk of me trying something or using a toy like that or trying to talk about prostate play with you.

It became easy to talk to you about because you, in your fantasy, you described it and it just took all the pressure off of me that shouldn't have been there in the first place, but it was. And so we were able to have a conversation about it. And I didn't feel, all of a sudden it was very easy for me to talk about because that wasn't a barrier anymore. Right. Yeah.

So when you, so when you walk down the street and you see like an old colonial house with a front porch and two white rockers on it and there's two old people sitting there like rocking in the rockers talking, they're not talking about the front page of the newspaper. No. That's right. Because that's what we were sitting when we were talking about this stuff. Yeah, and you said, okay, I want to tell you about this fantasy and then I want to tell you about fantasy. And I'm like, who in the hell are you? Yeah. And you had some very specific fantasies.

And you said, and I got this toy and this is how it works. And I want to know if you want to try it. And, I mean, we'll get to more of it in a snapshot in a minute. But you were, I don't want to get ahead of but. Do we need to hit the pause button to have sex? No. We'll come back and tell you about the end game here. But the point, the point is that we're exposing ourselves to this. Right.

I had never, like I said, that's the first time I had ever read a piece of erotica about two men having sex yeah and it just turned me on and then i wanted to see you in that scenario now i don't want to go find a single guy and force you into a position where you're not going to be comfortable that's not what I want. I want to fulfill the fantasy with toys and positions and whatever we end up coming up with.

The point is I think that we are normalizing it to the degree, and I'm going to refer back to our Sonoma pair of friends, and I don't want to steal the punchline of his story, but to be willing to try it, and then after you try it, decide if it's something that you like or not right and right now we're focused on on that scenario because you know that that's where we are that's where we are and that's what our friend's blog was about and you know but for for you all it could be anything out there that you haven't tried before that's been a little bit taboo.

And maybe you've been afraid to talk about it, or maybe you have talked about it, but you just assume that that isn't something that you're ready to or willing to explore. Yeah. So before we get to snapshots, though, just to tick off a few other things that I mentioned earlier that are now been normalized through our exposure to the lifestyle. And one was, you know, right early on, I had a jealousy issue. Yeah. We worked through that and it was normalized. All of a sudden what I thought was threatening became normal. Right.

Um, there was a single guy that you said you never wanted to have a single guy. Not only did we have one single single guy we had more than one single guy it became normal it was a lot of fun um moving it's never normal it's just really hot normalized yeah i like your sexy voice um soft to full swap when we when we made that jump from soft to full we thought it was such a big deal yeah and And after a while, it was normalized. You being with another woman. Right. Again, initially. Right. You were just going to do it to make me happy. Yeah.

And then you did it and you enjoyed it and it became more of a normal thing. Yeah.

And we've even run into a couple people that maybe we haven't known, but maybe we just find out like there's one degree of separation right you know and the world hasn't ended um so yeah that that it never becomes easy or normal when your worlds collide a little too closely but right you realize you're going to live through it right so i think to close up um one thing that i know that you wanted to talk about that we want to make sure everybody knows is this doesn't mean it applies to every single thing that you can think of. You can, it's still okay to have hard limits. Yes.

I still have a hard, yeah, a few hard limits. Really? Yeah. I know you have one. Yeah. I yeah i mean listen to me like my claws are coming out like i am not ready and i don't know that i'll ever be ready to play separately like this is our team sport and i wanted to stay a team sport if i want to do a solo sport i'll run down the street. I like to run because it's just me. I don't want this to just be me. And I'll tell you why this is perfectly fine. Because when you, and I've known this for a while, but when you say things like that, we also take the time as a couple to ask why.

We ask like, why do you feel that way? Or why do you think you would never be able to do that? And we don't have to get into that, but everybody's got their own personal history and their own personal things that have happened in life. Right, and I'm not judging other people that do that. No. Because we have really good friends that play separately, and I love hearing their stories. But I think the point is, I understand why you don't want to do that. I perfectly understand that. And not only that, if you're not into it, I'm not going to press the issue. Right, right.

Because it's not going to turn me on. Right. So, yeah, so it's okay to have a hard limit. And maybe that's something that's normalized in the future and you get beyond it and maybe it doesn't, but you don't have to. It's not like just because it's there, you have to figure it out and conquer it. Right. You know, the very first thing I said when I said, welcome back to segment two is never say never. And I guess I can say never say never about playing separately or, you know, a couple of my other current hard limits. But, you know, I just I can't imagine when or how I'm going to get there.

But honestly, it doesn't matter if I'm having fun right now. And if this makes me feel closer to you, and, and I feel safe and secure in what we're doing, then we're where we need to be. Yeah. Yes, right. Exactly. And I want to, I want to kind of go back and you and I have had some very, very fun weekends over the past couple of months. Yes. I've actually, we've enjoyed each other's company. I know.

know we've been we've been reconnected for a while and so yesterday we've come out of the pandemic and the winter of our discontent aka move so yesterday i shoved the podcast um outline show notes and i folded them up and put them in my back pocket and then we walked to a local brewery in 90-something degree weather. It was hot as hell outside. We were sweating like beasts. We got to the brewery, got a table outside, got a couple of beers and I pulled out the outline and we started talking.

And one thing that when we were talking about this hard limit that you have on hall passes or playing separately and you said, I don't know what it's going to take for me to ever get beyond that and i said hold it yes you do it's like everything else that you would have to do to get through all the other misperceptions or heart limits that you have you'd actually have to try it and we had an interesting conversation and i i made the point that there's a difference between things i want to do like fantasies like they're they'll think like you just described a fantasy things that you want to do and things that you want to try so just because i want to try something doesn't mean it's a fantasy like if you have a fantasy um and i and it's not something that's my fantasy but but i want to try it i'll try it for you yeah and i'll try it to see how how i like it or what happens afterwards because a lot of the times where we don't want to get past these things there's a fear of what's going to happen on the other side of it like with me with jealousy it was a fear of oh you're gonna fall in love with somebody else and you're gonna leave me that's an irrational fear and once once you prove to me over and over again that you came home with I mean, it became, you know, not a big deal.

Right. So I guess my point is, no matter if it's a hall pass or a single guy or a full swap or whatever, the lesson here is you're not going to know until you do it. That's true. That's true. So there is an answer to your question.

But but in respect to what you said earlier we don't ever have to try that i am never going to force you to try that but if you if since it's your thing it's your deal if you ever decided you wanted to try to work through that then i would be game okay so this is just this was me like having a therapy session with a microphone what what are your heart limits i don't know that i have any because i thought i don't think playing separately first of all i i kind of fantasize about you playing with somebody else with me not me being around so that's definitely not a hard limit for me um and i always thought that maybe prostate play or by curiosity was a hard limit but i'm you know i'm i don't have that mindset anymore so i don't i don't know that i have one at this point in time.

Okay. But I think what we're saying is that two things. If you want to enjoy the lifestyle, if you want to grow as a couple and as an individual, if you want to experience these things, Like talk about like close having close lifelong friends yes and finding your tribe and experiencing this then you have to try it you have to do it and when you do it the perception that you had ahead of time is normalized and then you can make a decision that's's why I'm going to go back to the blog post from our friends from Sonoma Pair.

Once he had the experience with another guy, then he was past it and he was able to say, okay, did I like that or not? Yeah. And you have to read the blog to find out what his answer is. But at least you don't but at least your at least your judgment is not clouded by the unknown is the point right then it becomes a known entity right and then you can say honey i let you play alone it drove me crazy i'm i'm i it's never going to happen again but at least you you would have an experience. The same thing with me.

Like if you'll remember, when we jumped back into the lifestyle and did full swap, you know, I was petrified at that point in time. Yeah, you were. It wasn't until we did it two or three times when it became, okay, well, this is not what I thought. It's fun. It's not that big of a deal.

I'm not going to say it wouldn't be a big deal for you, but's what it would take so be open to the idea that things will be normalized by exposure yeah yeah and i know you have to you know like what cereal was that life cereal mikey let's get mikey to try it yeah let's get mikey to eat it try it you'll like it hey Mikey, he likes it. Totally dated ourselves. Yeah, really. Mikey's probably dead. Jeez, Mr. Jones, that's awful. I don't know. Probably not. He's younger than me, I think. But yeah, I mean, we do have to expose Like, you have to dive in at some point. Right.

You can't just keep, you know, what if, what if, what is it going to feel like, what is it going to look like, you know, how many people are going to be there, what type of people are going to be there. You just, you're going to have to figure it out for yourself at some point. And you know what the key is? Do you trust your relationship? I mean, we've always leaned on our relationship because we know that it's strong. So we've made our decisions based on, well, if it's not going to work out, if it's not a big, it's not going to ruin our relationship.

Pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and say, oops. So we're going to give you some homework. And we really want to hear back from your homework assignment. Your homework assignment is, what is your never say never? And is it a hard or soft limit? Right. What would you do if your partner sat down next to you one night in a rocking chair on the front porch and said, I think I'd really like to try this. What do you think? You know, how is your thought process going to be playing itself out? You know, are you going to say, wow, I just don't think I could do that.

Or, wow, I had no idea you were really interested in that. Right. And let the wheels start turning on how you can make that work. Yep. So my wheels have been turning. I know they have. It's excellent. I mean, you know what amazes me, honey? 30, how long? 37 years? Yeah. 37 years.

The fact that we were sitting on the front porch like giggling like school kids because you know we've got this new thing that we're talking about that's awesome yeah i mean that's what keeps our relationship and any relationship fresh and new and growing yeah yeah even if you never act on it just talking about the what ifs yeah you know it's really interesting just to see what's going through your partner's mind yes so hopefully there's nothing else inside my head that i would feel ashamed or maybe less maybe guilty about asking you because that's got to be the final frontier for me never say never on that note when we come back we have some snapshots a snapshot and we also have a really funny story to share from one of our listeners i got a south beach snapshot oh good i do can't wait to hear it welcome back to snapshots welcome back yeah we're gonna do something a little different before we share our snapshots we have a hilarious story that we received from a listener and she gave us permission to share it and we've gotten stories before about people who accidentally their bluetooth will connect one one gentleman said that he was going through the car wash one time and he left his phone or he was still close to his car and the guy was cleaning the inside of his car and he got in his car to leave and our podcast was playing.

Another guy told us that he almost knocked his mother-in-law out of the way because she opened the truck door and our podcast connected and played. So we've gotten stories like this over the years. So we got this one and we thought we would read it to you because it's just, it's too funny not to share. So why don't you read the first part of it and I'll read the dialogue. Okay. So this was an email that we got from our listeners and it says the following is an incident that happened and I hope you find the humor in it as much as we have.

We have the contract for mowing an 18 acre family campground and we mow it one day each week for 28 weeks out of the year. Today was our mowing day and typically we use this time to listen to podcasts as we mow for 10 hours. Today I chose to listen to your latest podcast about bisexuality. I was having problems with my phone locking up and had to turn it on and off, had to turn the Bluetooth on and off a couple times and then I had to wait for them to sync back up with my earbuds.

So she says, I was listening intently to the part of the podcast about male bisexuality, and it appeared that my phone was cutting in and out. After turning the podcast off and on three separate times, I opted to just leave it alone and continue mowing without listening to anything. Several minutes later, I noticed a man standing next to the camper I was mowing around. I acknowledged him with a nod and continued mowing. Moments later, he flagged to me, so I shut off my mower and walked over to him. I politely greeted him and asked him about his day. The following is our conversation.

He very sheepishly said to me, him i think perhaps your phone connected to our bluetooth me um i don't think so him uh yeah i think so me i sure hope not him slowly nodding his head yep i'm pretty sure it did me covering my face with my hands i am so sorry I don't know. I don, covering my face with my hands. I am so sorry. He awkwardly walked away, and I mowed his sight as quickly as possible and did not go back to that area.

It was at that moment that I realized this man and his wife had just listened for three to five minutes of your podcast on the different levels of male bisexuality and lifestyle. Oops. And you know what the funny thing about this is, besides the obvious, is if the guy listened and he liked it, he's probably listening now and he's hearing himself. Oh, that's true. He's famous now. Yeah, he's famous now. Welcome. We're glad you're with us. Yeah.

So all that pretending you did about this podcast, yeah, we know you're secretly listening, and we invite you to go ahead and come clean and send us an email. Yeah. He was flagging her down because he just wanted the name of it, right? So he could subscribe. Oh, my gosh. That's hilarious. That's funny. I love the way that she described it. I know. Yep. I'm afraid. I'm pretty sure you did. Oh my gosh. Well, at least it was a campground and he didn't live there. She only had to like avoid him for what, like a few days or a week. Well, unless they were going to move on.

Unless they were seasonal campers. Oh, that's true. I would wait until their truck was gone before I would mow. Yeah. Their going to get high around that unit yeah oh my gosh all right so thanks for sending that in that that um it just makes us laugh every time we read it yeah funny not funny all right so what's your snapshot my snapshot is about pcap and you know like we said, we met so many people there. We got to meet new podcasters that we hadn't met before. We got to catch up with podcasters that we've known for a while. Old friends, new friends.

We just got to meet so many people and chat with so many people. But we had a couple friends there that we're're pretty close to and we had, you know, come hell or high water, we were going to be able to spend some quality time together. Right. Um, but it was really hard cause it was just, there were so many activities. So anyway, these are friends that we know and that we've played with before. Yes. Yeah.

And we were on a mission to spend time together with them and it and it didn't happen and it didn't happen because we were busy and constantly distracted and all the good ways but still it was the last night and it was like 11 o'clock and we ran into them at the event and you know we kind of like pointed to like our non-existent wristwatches and we're like are we going to do this and they're like yes so we decided that we would meet in our room so we left to go get ready um i think you were trying one last time to get ice that we never really got right right but anyway we were trying to get our room all ready and get freshened up and such and they were supposed to meet us there like 15 minutes later well by this time it was like midnight right and of the last day the last day when your batteries are yeah running on yes we were running on fumes so anyway we got freshened up and i put some lingerie on i think I had like black strappy bra and panties and I was all ready to go.

And they didn't come and they didn't come. And then like a half an hour later, we got a text and they're like, we're on our way. We got a little way late. Well, they said, is it too late? And we said, no. The first text, they just said, running a little late. I'm like, okay. Well, then another like half an hour goes by. And by this time, we had a couch in our room. Oh, I was about to fall asleep. And I was laying on, you were sitting on the couch and I had my head on your lap and I was falling asleep. And I think you were falling asleep.

So then we were like, oh, man, like we don't get to see them because they don't talk about like playing locally.

They are not local.'re like oh man this is not going to happen this is so sad so anyway we got a text a half an hour later um we're still trying to get to your room like we got distracted again and and um is it too late and we're like no it's not too late please come please come so anyway it was like another 15 20 minutes before they actually made it to our room so anyway we got to see them and and the adrenaline started flowing again we woke up and it was all good but then we started playing and i mean it was probably like two o'clock in the morning by now yeah or well maybe not too close to it yeah like 1 1 30 ish yeah so we started playing and you and the other lady kind of got down to business yep and he and i were you know kissing and he was doing the foreplay thing yeah we were doing the foreplay thing and i was giving him a blow job and um and then we finally he he finally got a condom and we started playing and we don't get to see them very often.

So I guess I was a little excited and, and I might've been like using my pelvic muscles to like tease him. I don't know what I was doing anyway. Finally, he, he kept like asking me to like slow down cause I was kind of, I don't know. I was pretty worked up. I think I was pretty frantic.

and he kept like asking me to like slow down because I was kind of I don't know I was pretty worked up I think I was pretty frantic and he was like I need you to slow down I need you to slow down I'm like okay okay I'm sorry I'm sorry so then you know we started like being essential again and then finally he was just like fuck it can I just fuck you and come and get it over with and I was like okay so he meant it and then he was like I meant that in a really good way and I'm like I know you meant it in a really good way just do it right so then it was awesome because then it was just like really frantic and crazy and yeah short but sweet yeah and fortunately we know them well enough where and she and I were kind of ahead of the curve on that because we fooled around a little bit at a time and I said, you just want to fuck?

And she said, oh, thank goodness. Yes. I said, okay. So she and I were like, zoop, we went right at it while you guys were over there doing that silly foreplay thing at two o'clock in the morning. I know. Then we made it for lost time. It was hot i love them i do too okay i'm you know i'm gonna invite you to participate in my snapshot oh really so we have this office downstairs where it's so dinky in this old little house and um it's not dinky it's just the ceiling's dinky yeah and this is where is where we have our podcast studio. It's the Executive Lounge.

And I have this little $79 futon couch. I think I got it for $200. Okay. And we have more sex on this little futon couch than anywhere else in the house. Than our California King sleep number bed, right? So you decide you're going to break out some of these new toys that you got for me and you want to use them. So we put the music on and I programmed our color lights. And we'll leave Jay and Kay to the red light night. We did a purple light night. Yes. You bought those smart light bulbs. Yeah, you can turn them any color you want to.

Yeah,'s the color wheel yeah it's awesome and then we started exploring and you know the thing i've learned a lot i mean we've tried it twice and you had the little toy can you explain the toy what like how it works is it it vibrates right but well the first night i used the enjoy on you oh yeah that the first night's what i'm talking about oh it's the enjoy yeah the I'll see enjoy on you. Oh, yeah. The first night's what I'm talking about. Oh, it's the enjoy. So you used the enjoy. Yeah, the stainless steel thing that we always get pulled over when we go to Mexico. You used the little end.

Yes, I used the little end. Yeah. So anyway. Do you want me to use a big end next time? No, let's just stick to one step at a time, honey. Anyway, some of the experience experience some of the thoughts that were going through my head it was it was i was turned on you were super turned on i was crazy i was frantic you were frantic yes and the more it went on the more frantic you got and i've what i've learned so far not to make this clinical is that there's nerve endings on the outside. That's one feeling. But then there's the prostate on the inside, which is a completely different feeling.

And I can't see down there, and you can't feel my feelings. So... No, and the end joy is truly a weapon. I'm afraid of that thing. So, it really forced us to communicate more than we normally communicate during sex, which was good. Yeah. But you, all of a sudden, I have never seen you like this before. Never seen you. Like you made a comment more than once. You said, well, first of all, you said like, oh my God, this is really hot.

And then you said something like, this is the hottest thing I've ever done yeah or something along those lines no I did say that because you it like I swear people are gonna think I'm weird like I had you in the palm of my hand literally like you were completely under my spell like it was amazing Like, I just felt like i was controlling every nerve ending and every emotion in your body like it was it was incredible yeah like um and and i mean i think people will understand because you're large and in charge i mean they listen to our podcast they know that you're you're just you're an amazing leader right so for me to just like be completely in control of your your body and your responses and and everything and i mean i've we've done that before like i can give a pretty good blow job too and i've had you melt into a puddle but like this was different i don't know it just maybe it was my mindset that was different i i don't know but i just felt the build-up was different it was multi-faceted i mean a blow job is hey a blow job is nice but this was hands and mouth and and joy and you know yeah kissing and feels.

I was using every orifice and appendage and toy at my disposal. And I noticed my cock went through a couple of different phases.

At the very end, it was a little bit more pronounced at the tip than I've than I've noticed before and I'm not sure why but at one point in time you I started playing with myself and you said yes you do that that's hot and that you were concentrating on the enjoy and I was doing that see that was my fantasy like for me to be stimulating you and for you to play with yourself that that was what I was like fixated on and why I forgot to take the trash out and I don't know we're gonna have to keep experimenting because I'm not sure um you know I don't know the the orgasm was one that like I've never felt before but i'm not sure how much of it was the build-up and how much of it was the position of the enjoy we need to practice some more oh okay but the orgasm was usually i can tell when i'm gonna orgasm like maybe 15 20 seconds before and i have about five or ten seconds to to stop it if i and then there's a point of no return yeah this one it was building and then like within about three seconds it happened and then it it just was a little bit more intense, but it was shorter in duration.

Um, but, but after the actual ejaculation, the feeling lasted a lot longer. Well, you know what else was different? Like normally when we, like when we have sex, whether it's, whether you penetrate me or whether I give you a blowjob or a handjob, um, normally after you come, you're just're just kind of done um your dick doesn't always necessarily get like soft right away i mean sometimes it does but sometimes it'll stay harder but you're not really interested in you in me touching you afterwards you're just kind of like you know you or at least you want some time to go by before we re-engage.

When you came this weekend, it didn't change anything. Like you stayed erect and you still let me play with you. Because like I know to back off because things get too sensitive, especially certain parts get too sensitive.

But I mean, I was just, I was testing waters and and nothing really changed it was crazy i mean i might not have actually finished ejaculating i couldn't tell i it was so intense down there you did well i didn't know if i had finished i i might have i mean it seemed like it was normal yeah but but your body didn't it's like your body was like okay keep going i'm i'm you know here we go again anyway when you when you said this is the hottest thing i've ever seen and you were you meant it i could tell you meant it that's my snapshot because the other thing was like about three quarters of the way through i remember sitting up and i said honey this has got this has got to be a top five, maybe a top three.

And then you said, well, I'm not done with you yet. I remember that. No, that was fun. Yeah. And you know, one of the nights you didn't even touch me because I just started writing on you. That was the second night. Yeah. I know. And then when we were debriefing the next day you said you know what for like an hour last night i wish i had a penis you know what it is with you it's the power and the control yeah that's totally what it is that's why you like to be the giver with the strap on yeah i say i'm not a dom and i say like really I'm I'm more submissive.

But once that switch flips in my mind, then I really like it. But I don't get there very often, clearly. Well, it was, I mean, the past, first of all, the past couple of months have been fabulous with us. And we've reconnected and we're coming out of COVID and we're traveling more and we're spending time alone on the weekends and our family stuff has settled down a little bit. Vanilla lives have settled down.

So that, you know, that part of it, but also again, to be able to like talk about new things with each other, it's like something new and something fresh and the lifestyle the lifestyle doesn't really create that but the lifestyle enables those types of conversations to happen well I guess it just provides topics right yeah but you know I know a lot of y'all that listen to us you're not active in the lifestyle as in playing with other people. Like maybe you have a sexy mindset and, you know, that's why you're listening to us.

So it doesn't have to be, you know, the lifestyle that creates the fantasies. It just has to be you and your partner trying to figure out, you know, what's sexy? What's something sexy that you've never tried before that you think your partner may be interested in right and and you know give your give your partner permission to throw something out there and even if you think it's the craziest thing ever and you're not the least bit interested in it give them the space to verbalize that yeah and then find then find a way to say, I'm not there yet. Right.

I might not ever be there, but I'll never say never for you. But let's not do that anytime soon. You know, but at least respect their fantasy. Sure. Right? Right. So I want to thank the Sonoma Pair couple for sending us the blog. a special special thanks to the we got a thing ladies book club for reading that story with mrs jones while i was on vacation and getting you all have been able to accomplish something that i've not been able to do in 37 years and that is to actually have her fantasize about something so thank you ladies i you.

And if that's not a good enough advertisement to get in our community for you guys, you need to get your women, your women, sorry, you need to get your partners into this community and get them in the ladies book club and then sit back and get your women, sit back and, and, uh, you know, enjoy the fruits of their labors. Oh, it is a fun time, that's for sure. Yeah. So that wraps up 87. I think it's time to get this thing edited and posted and go to Las Vegas. What do you think? That's right. And then I suspect we'll have a thing or two to talk about after coming home from Vegas.

So if you're interested in our community, go to our website, wegotathing.com and you'll find information there. As always, you can contact us through that website or you can email me at mrjones, M-R-J-O-N-E-S at wegotathing.com And I'm at mrsjones at wegotathing.com You can follow us on Twitter at wegotathing and since the world is opening back up again, you can join us We'll be right back. I'm at mrsjones at wegotathing.com. You can follow us on Twitter at We Got a Thing. And since the world is opening back up again, you can join us on Double Date Nation, SDC, or Cassidy. Yes.

We'd love to have you connect with us on one of those lifestyle websites. Anything else? I think that's enough for this time. Thanks for listening. We are Mr. and Mrs. Jones, and we got a thing. What's your thing? We'll see you next time.