Episode 80: Finding True Friends in the Lifestyle

Transcript

This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us?

hello everyone i'm mr jones and i'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 80 of the we got a thing podcast finding true friends in the lifestyle yes we've talked a couple of times about friends in the lifestyle we've talked about how elusive they are and we've talked about the types of friends that we make but we haven't talked about how you find these elusive friends because a lot of people have been saying you guys talk about your friends all the time you make it sound easy and we're here tonight to to tell you that not only was it not easy for us but it took a long time that's true and i just got in trouble because of a true friend that's right we had to start the podcast over again because mrs jones didn't turn her dinger off on the phone so i got like the serious death stare by mr jones and i picked up my phone and i was like oh look look who it is i'm not in trouble anymore yeah yeah it's a good thing she's cute i know speaking of they are our truest of friends.

That's right. And they're on the other side of the freaking country. So if anybody can interrupt our podcast, it could be them. I know. Shoo. So we're going to talk about that tonight. But first, a couple of announcements. And most of our announcements seem to revolve around desire this month for some reason. Yes. Well, it is that time of year. And, you know, Thank you. A couple of announcements, and most of our announcements seem to revolve around Desire this month for some reason. Yes.

Well, it is that time of year, and that's where you can escape reality right now, and I think we're all looking to escape some reality. Yeah, in about three weeks. Yeah. Like, not even, I think. Yep. This is the last podcast before Desire, I think. I know. It is our last podcast. So, yeah 2020 happens, um, beginning November 14th. Yeah. We've had quite a few people cancel, which, um, you know, we're super proud of people, um, educating themselves and deciding what's best for them. Um, and so we've had quite a few people cancel and we've had some people add on. Yeah.

People are coming out of the woodwork right now. Yeah. We're finding all kinds of people that are coming with us, so that's exciting. We get to meet lots of new people this year. It's going to be fun. So if you decide you'd like to join us, there is room, and we're going November 14th through the 21st. Yeah. And while we're talking about that, next year. Oh, yeah. like blare the trumpets? Yeah. Next year and COVID free November, 2021, hopefully. You probably just jinxed us. I know. Yeah. November, 2021, we are going to be at Desire Pearl the week of November 13th through the 20th. Yep.

Same week next year. just a day earlier. Yep. We also have had quite a large response to our idea of the Desire Mansion takeover for 2022. If you're interested, just send us an email, we'll put you on the list. We are going to try to negotiate that opportunity when we go to Desire next month. Yeah, so stay tuned for more details on it. You know, right now we're just getting, um, you know, a nice guest list of people that are interested. We haven't given them any details cause we have no details. Right. Um, except for the fact that it's going to be so much fun.

Uh, and before we leave desire, um, and you'll find out that there's been a lot of things going on in our personal lives. It's all good. Yeah, that caused us to rearrange our travel schedule. Yeah. So we were going to go to back to Desire during the week between Christmas and New Year's. And we have not only the mansion book, but the royal suite at the mansion. The royal suite.

I mean, it is like the ultimate luxury we we stayed in it in august and it was so amazing it is the royalist suite yeah at desire yeah you can't get any more royal well oh my gosh it's like an apartment yeah i mean it's not just a suite yeah you could live there yeah it's crazy um so regrettably though yeah regrettably we cannot go that week and we have it booked and we know that if we just turn the week back in it'll be sucked right up so if you would be interested in going escaping reality between christmas and new year's it's december 26th to januarynd.

So you'd actually get to celebrate New Year's Eve there and sleep it off the next day and go home the day after. It is the most popular week at Desire for the entire year. And it's the best suite that they have. And we can offer it to you at 25% less of what Desire is charging for. so, if you'll go to our website and do the contact us section or send me an email at mrjones at we got a thing.com. We're going to try to offer that to somebody else before we have to turn it back in. Yeah. Boo hoo. I know. It would be so much fun to be able to go there.

Although we have really good reasons for not going. We do. Yeah. Let's talk about that. Okay. Keeping up with the Joneses. I can't keep up with the Joneses right now. Golly, that's so true. I truly think you're trying to see how far you can push me before I break. That's not me. I know. You're the idea guy. No, this first idea was not mine. We did not expect our daughter to get pregnant again. That was not my idea. And then she swore she was due October 26th. Which is yesterday. No, actually it's today. Our granddaughter's been here a long time. Yeah. Our granddaughter arrived early.

Two and a half weeks early. Yeah. And we were really caught off guard because we had just, this was a daughter that's been living with us for six months. So we had just got her settled in her new home, like 20 minutes away from us. And our granddaughter decided that she was just ready to meet everybody one night. Yeah. And it only took her about an hour to make that happen. Yeah. It was so fast, we didn't even have time to get there.

It it was so fast we didn't even have time to get there it was so fast she didn't even have time to get to the hospital no our granddaughter was born at home at their home yes at their home um supervised by our other granddaughter who's eight year old eight years old our eight-year-old daughter was the hero of the day she she called 9-1-1 yeah she became a midwife did what the dispatcher told her as we were racing to the to the scene of the crime yep but everybody is healthy and happy and um no complications and i mean she was a little tiny thing five pounds and and something.

Yeah, but she was perfect. I mean, she came out crying. So everything, everything was good. But I have, except I almost had a heart attack in the car on the way down. We were trying to get there as fast as possible at four o'clock in the morning. Yes. Oh, well, it makes for a really good story. What an event. It makes for a good story. And we have another beautiful granddaughter. I know, but she already cock blocked me on the first weekend she was here because we had friends that, that came up and, um, we met these, we met this couple a few months ago. Yes. We met them last summer.

They were supposed to come back up. This was a couple that I was so enamored by her that I was walking her back to my car and I lost my car. Yes, we told that story. It was ridiculous. Yeah, and that was also the evening that you made me promise that we would not play on the first date. Right, and I kicked myself the whole way home. Yeah. And you just teased me the whole way home.

mercilessly yes yeah yeah so anyway there was some tension there the first night when we pulled ourselves away from them and did not play on the first date that's right but we instantly set up a future date yeah which was kind of complicated because we do not live close to each other. Well, they're a day's drive. But the point was they were going to come three weeks before our daughter was due just to be safe. Right. Well, we were going to meet in the middle. Yeah. And then we're like, gosh, it's way too close to our daughter's due date. We're just afraid to be a few hours away from home.

And they're like, we totally understand. And then we offered to have them come up our way. And they said yes. So the day before they were supposed to leave to come up here is when our granddaughter was born. So she cock blocked me. Right. Yeah, because we had to cancel because we had our other granddaughter that we had to take care of. And of course, our daughter was in the hospital and I had to be with her. And yeah, so we canceled on with like less than 24 hours notice. And we had done the whole week before buildup with the texting and the chatting and the flirting and all of that.

I had to order new lingerie to come in the mail and I'm teasing with that. And it was, we were full on ready to go. And then, but fortunately they were able to come up this past weekend. Yeah. Cause when, when we had to cancel, I was like, Mr. Jones, you, you realize we need to let them know right now. Like as soon as the baby was born, I'm like, we need to let them know right now that we're going to have to cancel. And he was like, no, I think we can make it work. I said, look, the kid was born at home. We don't even need to take her to the hospital. Let's just bypass all that stuff.

You're rotten. You're so full of it. So obviously, once I got his head screwed back on straight, we did the responsible thing and canceled. And luckily, our friends were free this past weekend. Yeah. So by the time they got back up here, we had a lot of pent-up um energy to expend yes and it was a great weekend yeah it was beyond great and this was the first time we had had we had hosted another couple in our home in almost a year yeah it had it was 2019 yeah the last time we hosted somebody yeah yeah it just felt really did. Yeah. And we had so much fun.

Well, we had an empty house, number one. And then we finally got to see them and we hadn't hosted in a long time. So it was a, it was a great weekend. It was. Explored some wineries and. Yep. Grilled some pizza. And of course, some steak the second night. That's right. We explored some bodies. We did. You know, we're going to talk about friends in a little bit, but these are new friends and that's part of our thing. I mean, we love our best friends and the friends that are tried and true, but we also like to meet new friends. And this couple qualifies as a new couple that we're friends with.

Definitely. And we just connected on all cylinders. You know, on paper, we have really very little in common with them. Yes. No similar careers to speak of. Well, hers is. Well, she and I are somewhat similar, but not really. I'm very interested in her career. It's kind of a tangent off of what I do. Um, but just they're in a different stage of life than we are. And, but fundamentally he and I are so much alike, like the way we think. And like we were talking about like, I don't know about you all, but in our marriage, we have a pretty clear division of duties.

And like he and I had a lot of the same duties and he and I could conveniently be very helpless in certain things, you know, to avoid doing them. Yeah. And yeah, that was pretty funny. That whole, it was like kind of that whole opposites attract thing again. It was. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. But it was, it was definitely one of the most solid four way connections. Oh yeah, for sure. That we've experienced with the exception of some of our good friends. Yeah.

And this was the first time we actually got to play with them and it was it was so comfortable like we didn't have to play the dumb card game oh no you wanted to but that's the everybody else like poo-pooed it we don't need to play the dumb card game that would be dumb literally well she said you know i was gonna suggest it but then I realized that you always say that it's dumb. Yeah. If I were to describe her, she is, I've never had a woman entangle herself around my body as like she did.

She has a way of with arms and legs and and you know the neck it was like she was this ivy you know the and it felt really good it was like her her complete body she would just wrap within mine I it was it was really no I know what you mean because she kind of she did too. Yeah, of course. You two were together, which was pretty hot. Yeah, it was. Yeah, we had so much fun on all levels. Yes. So it's good to be back in the saddle again, so to speak. Oh, it sure is. Yeah. But in between, we're not done. I know we're not.

In between having a granddaughter come unexpectedly early and having sexy friends come to town, we bought a house, we put our house on the market, and we sold a house. Right. All within a matter of like two weeks. Yes. It's been like just a just a whirlwind yes we are in the midst of home inspections and appraisals and contracts and i think in the last episode we mentioned that we were yeah beginning the process we're right in the thick of it we are going to be probably relocating at the beginning of december yep but not to worry worry. Got it all figured out.

We'll podcast when we get back from desire. And then before, you know, at the end of December. Well, the first offer we got on the house that people wanted to go to closing on November 14th. And we were like, no, that cannot happen. And we looked at our realtor and we were like, we have a trip that we need to take that we really cannot cancel right and he was like okay yeah we cannot cancel this desire trip yeah so we will be um so we've been running back and forth taking care of our granddaughter having friends in town putting our house on the market and then you've completely, Mrs.

Jones says the house that we're purchasing is almost a hundred years old and she wants to do some quote unquote minor renovation.

This house is so charming and, and it's in fantastic condition and a lot of it's been upgraded, but it just has so much potential to be more um and fortunately the way the whole financial transaction is going to work we're going to have the ability to do that without it hurting too bad yeah um so yeah like i've got some ideas yeah we're going to take this house and turn it into a fun place we are even though it's about a third of the size of what we're leaving it is a third of the size of what we were leaving but but it's going to be very efficient space yeah and it's and we can walk everywhere yes that was the selling point we can get rid of a car and walk to the brewery walk to the grocery walk to the butcher shop walk to the coffee shop walk to wherever the walk.

That's right. Yeah. I mean, the bottom line is that it's still going to have two guest rooms. And one of those can be a playroom. A playroom. We've already figured that out. That's right. And we're going to like redo the backyard and it's going to have a hot tub. Yep. It's a swinger pad. Yeah, it will be. That's right.

so we have been busy 2020 is really sacked but the past few months we've really made some big changes and they're all going to be for the better yeah yep all right well when we come back we're going to rewind here and get back into finding true friends in the lifestyle We'll see you next time.

rewind here and get back into finding true friends in the lifestyle welcome back to segment two finding true friends in the lifestyle we don't really talk about what we drink anymore but i have to say that when you went to make a drink tonight i said what are you going to drink and you said whatever i can find whenever i can find empty bottles that i can get rid of alcohol i'm going to make a drink with and you were successful you made a drink and you emptied two we're totally not even talking about the topic.

But yeah, so we're getting movers to help us move because we just don't have time to do all the packing ourselves. And yeah, we're getting too old for that shit. So we've had a couple of moving companies come in and it's really embarrassing when they look in my cupboards and they see all that bottles of alcohol I have. I'm embarrassed. I'm proud. I'm embarrassed.

So we found out that at least in the state of virginia like moving companies won't move your alcohol if it's open so we've got a task in front of us right so they'll move our wine because it's unopen unless it's super valuable and then they don't want to move it anyway um but yeah i've got a lot of open bottles of alcohol so i'm on a mission I'm on a mission so tonight we are going to talk about having such close friends in the lifestyle and and so many of you have reached out to us like I said before and expressed kind of almost a frustration from not being able to find the kind of friends that we have and I get it I do too because when you know as we were kind of talking about this topic we reflected back and it does feel like you're kind of on a deserted island at first yeah and you know all this stuff is out there right but you don't know where to look and you don't know how to find it and you're really scared you're going to find something that you're afraid of you know what i mean so it's really hard to be brave enough to to open yourself up enough right to allow yourself to meet other people and have like genuine authentic conversations with them right and it may seem like it that it's easy for us or it didn't take us a long time but it did and we're going to prove it in just a minute but what we want to do is help you um accelerate quicker to that point than it took us to get there well we started talking about this you said something about well you know we've been in the lifestyle seven years now and i'm like no we're not we haven't and you were like yeah and then i went back to oh yeah we went to you know desire for the first time in november of 2013 right oops right seven years right so this has not happened overnight right right so it it can take some time but it doesn't have to take as much time as it took us so we wanted to break this down so we've been into been in the lifestyle for seven years.

And so we've kind of broken this down into three different, I don't know, segments? Eras. Eras. Yes. Okay. The first era was, and I think most people go through something like this. And years one and two was all about reflecting and learning. so year one was mostly reflecting yeah and it was lots of research lots of soul searching um lots of exploring teeny teeny baby steps um lots of talking between you and i lots of talking lots of sex you didn't write that down. I didn't. Lots of sex. Lots of sex. You didn't write that down. I didn't. Lots of sex. Yeah, lots of sex.

Because just the thought of it made us scared, which made us like lean on each other more. Does that make sense? It does. Because we, we wanted to get in, we weren't getting into the lifestyle to make friends. We were getting into the lifestyle because we thought it was taboo. It was sexy. It would be fun and it would be something we could share together. But, but having friends, we wanted to totally separate that part of our lives and roll it off. Well, and you know, because we started out with a, an issue of jealousy that we had to work through together.

Um, I think that made us a little gun shy about letting people into our lives, um, to a certain degree. And not just us. I mean, a lot of people feel the same way. As a matter of fact, I was just listening to, um, our friends, Jay and Kay, you know, and she was saying that she was reflecting back and saying that when they first got into the lifestyle, she didn't want to have anything to do with their, their kids, you know, other friends, kids, and they were, you would not meet our children. You would not meet our family. Yep, she was a total mama bear. Yeah. Yeah.

And so the point is when we get into this, we have a perception of what the lifestyle is that's usually wrong. And we're not thinking about making friends. We're thinking about just making sexy connections. Right. And you know, you know what I just thought about, and I haven't even mentioned this to you yet, so I hope this is okay. But so today's, this is Monday night and our friends just left yesterday. And then we had family things yesterday afternoon. So Mr. Jones and I really haven't had any alone time yet.

Do you know i was holding the other man's hand this weekend no at one point i was holding his hand while he and i were talking and seven years later because that was that was the trigger that sparked the jealousy issue with us at the very very beginning is i was was holding another man's hand. Right. Um, so I was doing that and when I realized I was doing it, I almost jerked my hand away, but then I didn't because I thought, dang, you know, we've come a long way in seven years and you know me and you know, right. If anybody's the break in this relationship, it's me. Right. Always. Yeah.

Well, I was the one that wouldn't play with these people months ago when you wanted to. You know, so you know. I almost wish I would have seen that because. You didn't see it, huh? Well, when was it? Was it like out in public or was it? No, it was here at our house. Oh, no, I didn't. You must have been doing it under the table. Uh-uh. No? Well, the reason I say that is because in the past year or two, you've had more difficulty connecting with the man than I've had connecting with the woman. Yes.

So I would have, and obviously that happened this weekend, and I was super happy to look across the bed and seeing that happen because it made me relax oh i was super happy too but yes no i i say that in jest sort of kind of but yeah um that that is a problem well you know again when when you're seeing your wife, when you're first getting into this and you're seeing your spouse, your partner holding somebody else's hand, you're not thinking about making true friends.

You're thinking about surviving the evening or you're thinking about getting through the evening or you think about this is all new shit in our lives and it can freak you out. And so the last thing that we're thinking about is, oh, I want to be best friends with these people. No, we're just trying to figure this out and trying to figure out what, what this is and whether or not we even want to do it or whether it should be a part of our lives. So that's, that was year one and two.

And it really took us two years, you know, to, to kind of get to that point where that point where we were trusting that the lifestyle was something that was positive for us. Yes. Okay. Then years three to five were more discovering and creating. We were meeting the most amazing people. Yes. And it was so refreshing to find all these people just like us out there. So I think we were looking beyond our relationship at that point in time. We started feeling good about ourselves. We were enjoying the lifestyle. We had gotten past the jealousy.

We had connected with a few couples and now we were looking outward a little bit like, Hey, these are really cool people. Yeah. You know, we'd like to see them again. And, you know, we, we are starting to trust them and we're starting to trust ourselves. And we, you know, started feeling like we could share more of ourselves without the fear of being outed, which ironically is what happened during this period. Yeah.

This was the era in in which we were outed but it wasn't because it wasn't because somebody else in the lifestyle told on us it was well you all have heard that and if you haven't go back to 37 and listen but it was it was that episode when we were outed that we stopped and had to reflect about do we want to continue doing this and i don't think at any point in time we ever considered stopping you know even in the in the very very darkest of those days when we were just reeling from the the anger and and everything that we had gone through We were we were never like well what would what positive will come out of walking away from the lifestyle nothing positive is going to come out of it it's not going to fix the problem that we have with you know these people that think we're the scum of the earth now yeah but we also you're right and we also reflected on what positive things had we had gained the lifestyle, and this was the first time.

We didn't even have to reflect. It was in our face because so many of our lifestyle friends were reaching out to us and truly carrying us through that. Yeah, and that event is what helped us to realize the number of friends that we had and the number of people that we had that cared about us.

The number true friends we had in the lifestyle yes well and some of them we didn't even know yeah so so that was a that was the first time and that was four years into this three and a half years into this right that we started thinking about friends in a different way because initially we had our we we had our lifestyle and then we had our non-lifestyle friends. Then we realized how many lifestyle friends we had and we started realizing how different they were from our lifestyle friends. Right.

So that, so that was years three to five was about discovering the lifestyle, discovering friendships and creating friendships. That was exactly half of our lifestyle journey ago. Yes. Wow. Yeah, three and a half years. See the math teacher. I got to do the math. Sorry. That was kind of cool. So then the past two years, years six and seven, have been enjoying and maturing. So we're growing our friendships while we've also decided that we enjoy meeting new friends. Yes.

So at this point in time, we've got friends that we've had for years now and we have maybe two couples, two or three couples that we're just, we would call our best friends. Yeah. And it's nice because we don't see these people very often. Right. But when we do see them, it's just picking up right where we left off. Right. You know, and, and it's just, um, it's just refreshing. Right. It's almost, this sounds corny, but it's almost like their family because that's the same thing with your family.

Like, especially like if you've moved away from where you grew up, you know, when you see your family, it's just you pick right back up where you left off. Yeah. And not only that, but, you know, you've you've played with them two or three times or more. And and it's not it's not a question of whether you're going to play.

It's a question of you feel so comfortable and you feel so connected and you start to talk about things with them that you haven't talked about before and we come up with ideas and hey how will you guys think about this or you know do you want to try this and so the relationship gets so comfortable and you're so trusting of each other that you can have a different conversation and you can explore different things together and that's what that's the phase that we're in now and so a lot of you that are coming into this lifestyle as new and you're listening to us now, um, this is not where we were six years ago.

Right. That's for sure. Yeah. And, but we've also discovered that we really like meeting new friends. Yeah. I mean, we've got to keep it fresh. Yeah. We don't want to be exclusive. We have our core friends, but we also enjoy, I mean, there's a, there's that new relationship energy and there's, and there's just a joy, a different sort of a joy in meeting new friends. Yeah. Well, it keeps you, it keeps you growing, I guess, because you always learn something new when you interact with different people. Right.

No matter how long you've been doing this, you could, you know, just discover something new about yourself or you could discover, you know, it can be even if something fun is a new technique or something. I don't know. Yeah. It's just, it's always fun to, to see what that new dynamic is going to feel like. And I think we start sharing more non-sexual things with our, our best friends. Yeah.

Like whether their pet just passed away or whether, um, you know, how their brother-in-law is doing or, you know, you've, you've got history with them and you've got, and you know their lives and you know their families and you know their jobs and their careers. And so now that there's a richness to it, because when something happens, we can celebrate that or we can share that with them. And the, and the sex is still a part of it, but it's not primary. It's not the primary thing anymore. It's, it's just all, you know, kind of mingled up together. Right. The relationship is the primary thing.

Yes. Yeah. True friends. Yeah primary thing yes yeah true friends yeah are we saying true friends are we saying real friends they're synonymous i mean they're real friends but i think what we've learned is that the the definition of friendship has really changed because there's such a new a deeper dimension with lifestyle friends than than not Right. Well, you know, during those years one and two, that was the first era, I, I remember feeling, um, so guarded that I really didn't want people to know all the nitty gritty details of my life. Right. Right.

Um, and I, of that back right you know especially details about like our children and our grandchildren and you know those types of things you know at first i was like well that's nobody else's business um and you're and you're segwaying perfectly into what we're okay we're gonna talk about so i'm not i'm not even to make you stop talking this time because it's perfect look at that which means you mean i followed the outline by accident that means i did a perfect outline so what we're going to do now since we've described kind of our journey in three different segments we're going to talk about the lessons that we learned okay along the way so learned a lot the lifestyle itself is not what we thought.

Right. I thought it was just, well, initially I thought it was just seedy and you just go in there for some random sex and then you crawl back out and you, you know, have something to fantasize about for a few weeks and you shake yourself off. Yeah.

And having to adjust to that mindset takes time it took us time right so that was the number one lesson number two um we learned that we discovered that we can choose our own pace and our own pathway as a couple you know at first and we've talked about this a lot so like at first we were hmm, we just need to try everything to figure out what we like and what we don't like. And I felt a lot of pressure and it was self-imposed pressure. It was not pressure from you and it was not pressure from anybody in the lifestyle.

It was, I felt the, the burning need to figure it out because that that's just the way I wired right if I'm interested in something I have to analyze it ad nauseum well it was a good thing that you were like that because the op the other thing that we could fall in the trap of is just following somebody else's example or somebody else's blueprint but really we crafted our own right Um, I guess so at first, because I was so curious and you know, it did consume a lot of my, my free time at first, at least my free time, as far as like my thoughts, um, because I just needed to figure it out.

It was, it was consuming me because I, because it was risky and I was really scared and, but I was also really intrigued because the experiences we had were so sexy and, and I knew, I knew that it had the potential to be a lot of fun, but I also was terrified of it so i needed to like the beast. Yes. So I felt a self-imposed need to work at an accelerated pace. That's something that you have to learn to step back and take a breath. Well, anything new like this seems like it's coming at you 100 miles an hour. Yeah. I've heard professional sports described this way.

When you go to a different level, it's like everything is happening fast and you've got to learn to adjust and keep up with it. But if things happen slowly, you can see what's in front of you and you can react to it. So it's the same thing. We're overwhelmed a little bit at first, and we're not comfortable with that. We want to be able to see what's coming down the road. And so your idea of and, um, exploring this helps us get to that point where it slows down a little bit. We can kind of breathe. Yeah. I mean, and, and some people might not be like that.

I mean, I'm like that with the house right now. Like I'm obsessed. Anytime I have a free moment, I want to figure out how to remodel the bathroom or this or that. And like, that's, that's like my, my thing right now. So this was my thing when it was new. And maybe that's why we named our podcast while we did. I don't know. We had a thing. We had to figure it out. But I think that everybody needs to figure out that pace. Correct. And it needs to be a self-imposed pace, not somebody else pushing you to do something. Correct.

The only thing is you can't, you can't be upset that you don't have really good friends if you've slowed your pace. It's your choice, but there's also not consequences, but there's results because of how you decide to move forward is really going to dictate how quickly you move forward and meet other people. Right. And I know, Lord, I'm sure on your outline, you have this somewhere else, but that self-imposed pace also is dictated by your life circumstances at that time. Your priorities. That's right.

Yeah, so if you still have kids at home, you know, you gotta figure out how to farm them out and, you know, still be a good parent and, you know, go to all their extra activities and all that. So you've gotta find that balance, which is a very delicate thing to find at first because, again, this can be an addictive drug. Yeah. Okay, the other thing that we learned is you've got to lose the filters. This was probably the thing that took the most discipline.

As a matter of fact, I think you struggle with this a little bit more still than I do, but, um, you know, getting beyond the idea that, you know, um, physical attractiveness or age or race or gender, you know, we, we tend to filter a lot of people out at the beginning because our norm and what we've, what we've been used to is who we're with. Right. You're, you're my. You're my race. Right. You're the opposite gender. Right. I find you attractive. I'm afraid of younger people. I'm afraid to be rejected. And I'm afraid of the stigma that I'm going to be this.

Well, I mean, you would be the dirty old man. I'm just the cougar. Yeah, but I don't care. It doesn't bother me. But that stigma, you know, and that's old society stuff. Right, right. But it's still in my head. Right, that's what I'm saying. If we still had those filters, we would not have as many friends as we have. Oh, totally. If we self-eliminated ourselves from being with other people, that limits the number of people that you're going to meet. But that takes a lot of self-discipline.

That's probably something that's hardest for people to get beyond because you're 30 or 40 or 50 years old and your whole life you've acclimated to a certain type of person in your mind and you know to get beyond that really takes some discipline but it's worth it if you can open yourselves up all of a sudden you can connect with so many more people if you don't have that bias that you've carried with you right and and the other thing that comes with experience is getting, getting the idea that your eyeballs are not who are not in charge of who you're attracted to. Oh, I like that.

You know, like we, we take that first glance at somebody, oh, they're not my type. You have no idea if they're your type or not, whether they're younger than you, older than you, a little bit bigger than you would like, a little bit skinnier than you would like, whether they have dark hair, red hair, whatever. Like that first glance is so unimportant compared to everything else that, that person, that human has to offer. So stop trusting your eyeballs. Yeah. Stop trusting your eyeballs. Yeah. Yeah. Let your ears take a little bit and just that chemistry.

You're not going to, you're not going to get a feel for that chemistry until you get close to somebody and start talking to them. I'm going to one up you on this. You can't. Trust other people's eyeballs. Oh, okay. Because if a younger person, to your point about what you're struggling with because if a younger person to your point about what you're struggling with if a younger person finds you attractive you have to just accept that trust their eyeballs okay that was easy yeah i say that in jest i struggle um it did yes don't trust your eyeballs let the other senses have I struggle.

Um, it did. Yes. Don't trust your eyeballs. Let the other senses, um, have a say in the matter. Yes. Here's another hard one, uh, a hard lesson to learn. You can trust others in the lifestyle more than you think. Um, we're afraid to let people get to know us because of privacy issues. And I know I've talked about this before, but one of my pet peeves is when people say, well, we have a lot to lose, or my husband has, is a community figure, or I am this. And you know what? We all have a lot to lose. We all are. We're all involved at some point.

And you know what I find fascinating about the lifestyle? I would say proportionally, and this is just me like talking out of my butt here. I would say lifestyle people are probably much more community service oriented and much more involved in the world around them than the average Joe. Because we just find the world fascinating. I think that's what draws us into the lifestyle. It's just learning about other people and experiencing things outside of your own little bubble.

We're not saying that you should put your faces out there on a profile and we're not saying you should put your names and your address and your profession. What we're saying is that when you meet another couple, you have to be willing to give up some of that information. There's a, there's a quid pro quo, you know, I'm going to give you a little bit about me and you're going to give, you know, yourself, you're going to tell me something about you. And there has to be that give and take. And if you don't sense that, then you can shut down because they're probably not a potential friend.

But you can't really be true friends with somebody if you don't know somebody. And to know somebody, you have to know who they are. And to know who they are, you have to know these things. Doesn't mean you have to come out and say that at first. But we all need to get beyond this idea that you can be so many people complain to us and say, look, I'm not going to tell anybody my name. I'm not going to tell where anybody, where I live. I'm not going to date locally, but why won't anybody go out with me? What, why don't I have friends like you do? Yeah.

Because you have to, at a certain point in time, you have to trust yourself and you have to trust other people. And if you're not You're not going to do that. You're not going to. You're not. And if you're not going to do that, you're never going to have friends that, that are true friends. Right. And, and I mean, we get it. This is a fine line that you're walking. Yeah. You know, instinctively, you're just going to have to be able to tell what the appropriate amount of sharing would be. Right.

And at the appropriate time, it doesn't all have to be vomited out on the very first meeting, obviously. And this is a subtle difference, but instead of asking somebody else what they do, you should offer up what you do. Yeah. Because when somebody asks you something like that, you feel like you're being interrogated, but if you offer something to somebody else, then they're likely going to offer you back something. And if they don't, then the conversation can end.

You know, you don't have to, you don't have to tell them everything about yourself, but, but our best friends in the lifestyle know everything about our lives. Yeah. Everything. And we know about their lives. You know, this is, this is a total a total tangent i'm probably gonna get in trouble and i don't know whatever this is jones we were talking in the ladies group in our community a couple weeks ago about stis and we were talking about well how do you have that conversation with somebody about stis do you you know do you interrogate them do you ask to latest test results and blah.

And one of the ladies said, you know what I do or what my husband and I do? We just start talking about how we get tested and, and about how, you know, I get tested every six months and he gets tested every six months, but we do it on three month intervals. So everybody's getting tested every three months. And, and that just seems to work for us. And we just tell people about that. And then we see how they respond and what they're willing to share. And if they get defensive and withdrawn, then maybe they have something to hide or they're uncomfortable about something.

That's enough of a teaser for one of our upcoming episodes. But your point right? But your point is that you have to be vulnerable. Yes. If you make yourself vulnerable, you can learn a whole lot about somebody else. That's right. And instead of doing a quiz about when was the last time you did this, it's offering your own information up. Right. It's very consistent with what we're saying. And if you're not, you're going to be potentially having sex with these people. So you better be willing to give up some. Yeah. At some point you're going to have to trust them with your body. Yeah.

And there are a lot of couples out there that want the same thing as us. That's another thing that we've learned is that's been the most pleasant surprise. You know, people think they're all by my, they're all by themselves or nobody's like me or you guys find all the good people. No. There are so many people out there like us. There are so many people out there like you. It's amazing. And that, and that's what's frustrating for us is because we see it all the time. We're in a position where we get contacted by people all the time and we meet these people. We see them.

Look, the good news is there's only two of us, Mrs. Jones.

We't totally satisfy the entire lifestyle world so that you know talk about people like a good group of good people we need to go back to keeping up with the joneses oh yeah you just we have the most amazing group of friends in kansas city we do yeah and mr jones got had to go out there on business again a couple few weeks ago yeah and i couldn't go because of the pending grandchild one of us had to stay here and be responsible you had to go earn a living i know you you were being responsible but this group of people just when you fly out there they just take you in and they they just adopt you and they love you and they respect you and because they know our boundaries as a couple, but they just spoil you rotten from the minute you land until the minute you get back on the airplane.

It's terrible. I mean, it is just genuine. It is. Just genuine affection. And you know what's good about it now? Oh my goodness. Like the last trip, this last month when I went out there, we went to one of their homes in a beautiful home. I could spend another podcast talking about their home. But you walk in and... And you came home and totally rubbed that in. I did. You rubbed it in raw, baby. But everybody's familiar. I mean, I know everybody and I can hug everybody and I can, yes, kiss everybody. I know. Those are true friendships. And you know what?

You can kiss everybody because I trust them because I adore them and I know they adore me. Right. And we brought home some nice tequila for you from all of our friends. Yes, that was a nice bonus prize from another really true, wonderful friend. Yeah, so it's not like I go out there to have sex with people, but they genuinely, they care about me and I care about them and they care about you. I know. And it's, it's just heartwarming. It's like you go, it's like when you go out there, it's like you're going to visit family. I know it is. That's how it feels. Yeah, I know.

You'll have to go next time. I know. I know. But, but to me, that is the perfect example of these true, genuine, just warm, those people care about you. Right, I know. Yeah. I know. Okay, we can have different levels of friends in the lifestyle. This was another lesson. And I'm going to steal from Kate and Daryl from Swinging Down Under because they coined the phrase, pants on and pants off friends. I know. So you can have pants-on friends. That would be couples that you're really friends with, but you don't take your pants off. You're not going to get naked with them. No, for whatever reason.

You know, and that's okay. And it might not even necessarily be a lack of attraction. It's just whatever circumstances are in play. Right. And then you have your pants-off friends, and that's self-explanatory after the first one. And then there's... We've had friends that have gone both directions, actually, over time. What do you mean?

So we've had pants on friends that for whatever reason, be it circumstances, time constraints, distance constraints, or just maybe, you know, life ebbing and flowing that we, we play with them a few times and then maybe it just kind of like stops, but we still like to keep in touch with them because they're really cool people. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And we don't feel like if we don't have sex, we can't be friends. Right.

Because there's more to it than the sex, which makes them even more special because they still want to be with us if that doesn't happen yeah and maybe it happens and maybe it doesn't but that's not the important thing right right and then we have pants off friends that you know over time luckily the circumstances roll the other way sometimes and you know you might end up it may be the um, it may be the environment. It may be the situation. It may be the timing, but yeah, that, that can, that can always happen too.

So yeah, there's different levels of friendship and really the only differentiator in all of this is sex or no sex. They're still friends. Yeah. But just because the way that we view the lifestyle and the social sexy is the social and the friendship part of it is just as important as the sex part of it. And some people we will never play with and some people we will. But that doesn't mean we care about the people any less. It's just a different type of friendship.

You know, the coolest thing that I hear people talk about, and I guess it doesn't make me envious, but it just, I, I just, we haven't experienced it or we have in little bits and pieces is the people that still have children at home. Right.

And their friends, their, you know, pants on and or pants off friends with other people that have children and, you know, they get together and they do barbecues on sunday afternoons yeah yeah and and you know if somebody's listening to this podcast that's not in the lifestyle they're thinking oh we need to call child protective services and and the whole bit no like these are for intelligent adults that know how to behave in certain situations. I would trust. Like, good golly.

We have taken lifestyle, even though we don't have kids, we have taken lifestyle friends to introduce them to our children. We have taken them to introduce them to my parents. We have taken them to, I've introduced some to my brother. You know, so I have no hesitation at all in introducing our lifestyle friends to our family because, and my family loves them. Right. Because these are very normal, cool people. Yeah. Yeah. And we trust them to behave appropriately. Yeah. I mean, it would never even cross my mind that they would do something inappropriate. Right.

And lastly, I think what we've learned is the lifestyle doesn't have to take over your life to be fulfilling. I think 2020 has proven that. Enough said. Yeah. I mean, good Lord. Like we said, we haven't had anybody in our house in like almost a year. Yeah. And we've still managed to maintain our friendships. Well, I think our community, our members community has helped with that a lot because we've become really close with our community and we've had some virtual events and, you know, we have found ways to keep in touch with people, even though it hasn't been like physical.

Um, but, but it still has its, it still has its place in our lives. It's still very fulfilling, but we keep it where it belongs and, and, um, in balance with the rest of our lives. Right. You know, like buying houses and having grandkids. Like having to cancel because you had a grandchild born less than 24 hours before they were supposed to get in the car. Yeah. You knew the right thing to do. I know.

I a little kick in the shin you have to be the bad guy it was just a little kick in the shin okay so wrapping up um so what so here's what we would recommend first of all you have to be everywhere yeah you have to have a presence somewhere you have to be on double date nation which, which, by the way, Double Date Nation just launched their app. I know. I feel, again, trumpets need to be blaring right now. Yes, such a cool app. This is so exciting. It's both in iOS and also in Android in the Google Store. Wow, it's a fantastic app. We just downloaded it the other day.

And we have such great plans ahead with Dave and Andy. And congratulations, you guys. That was a lot of work. They are. Talk about some hard workers. Good grief. Yeah. So you need to. And so, you know, let me talk about that for a minute. Because like in our community and in Double Date Nation, there's this myth out there that you have to be on. And I'm going to go ahead and name it. Like a lot of people say, well, I got to be on SLS because that's where most of the people are. What we're finding is it's quality over quantity. Right.

So whether it's our community or our small group of friends or whether it's Double Date Nation, you know, there's, we go where the quality, you know, people are because those are the connections that are important to us right and the real profiles because a lot of these sites out there and i'm not naming names but a lot of these dating websites have a bajillion people on them but yeah you know a huge percentage of them aren't even real profiles or they're they're dormant profiles and whatever so ddn and cassidy and sdc are the three but you've, you've got to have a presence out there somewhere to be found out and to, and to interact with people.

I mean, you don't have to be, but we're talking about if you want to make good friends. Right. Um, you have to be open to meeting anyone. And I think, you know what, I give you us a lot of credit for that because we, no matter who it is, if they reach out to us, if, if our schedule is open, we try to meet everyone that we can. We have met so many cool people for drinks around here. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So don't just don't, you should, your default answer should be yes. If we can do that, it shouldn't be no. It should be, yeah, I'd like to do that. Let me see if we can make that happen. Yeah.

So be open to meeting anyone. Also be willing to share yourselves intimately. And I don't necessarily mean your sexuality, but like we said before, this is a key. You've got to be able to share things about yourself that you want to know about other people. You know, that's the golden rule. Like if you want to know something about somebody else, then share that. Yes. You kind of put skin in the game first. If you're really interested, you got to sometimes make the first move. Right. And here's one that might take people by surprise, but you have to be willing to let friends go.

I mean, you're not going to connect with everybody. You might meet somebody and you go out once or twice or even play once and either you don't hear from them or you kind of drift away from them and you you have to be okay with that just means you know you you were open-minded you gave it a try you enjoyed the time you had together but you don't have to feel bad about letting people go because you can't be best friends with everybody because they're going to go and find people that spend time with that they're they're better connected with exactly and you are as well.

And we all have a very limited, I mean, time is a very limited resource. It's finite. And other things have got to take priority. And so if we're going to say that you have to be willing to let friends go, you also have to be willing not to take things personally when somebody lets you go. I know. And we've been through this before. Yes, we have. You know, people may have this idea that that doesn't happen to us, but it does happen to us. And we have to say, well, you know what, we tried once or twice and obviously they're, they must not be interested.

So let's just, um, we still have each other. Let's, let's go knock on the next door and see what happens. But that's kind of what's cool about the lifestyle is that you don't have to have like that one couple that you're like best friends. Right. You know, you can have several couples that you connect with because, you know, if you spend too much time with one couple, then where is that exclusive line? Right. You know, and you and I are really not interested in that.

So I think it's fun to have, you know, like this, this handful of couples and, and actually most of our friends really don't live close to us at all. So, you know, distance is actually somewhat of a friend to us because it keeps things in perspective. Right. Yeah. And you have to be open to deeper relationships with others. You have to trust your relationship. At this point in time, you have to trust each other. And you have to, again, trust the relationship of the people that you're with. And you have to be willing to deepen that.

And it's risky because you might think, oh, my gosh, what if somebody falls in love? Or what if somebody wants to be exclusive? my what if my wife holds somebody else's hand yeah you know like i say that in jest but not really yeah that that i have not forgotten that look on your face from seven years ago well i've had a lot of good yes you have happy looks on my face yes and that and that has um softened that, but I haven't forgotten it and I, and I should not ever forget it because I respect it too much. That, that actually leads us to the very last point, honey. Okay.

Be sure that your partner is your best friend. Yes. Yeah. Yes. So all decisions always come back to that. No matter what. We are making some serious eye contact across our Ikea desk right now. Yeah. And I need another Manhattan at this point in point in time no you're being silly well i wrote it down it's my outline i should get credit for it yeah you do get credit for it okay but um yeah team jones formidable that's us right and and this past weekend i was so happy for you i was so happy that there was a gentleman on the other side of the bed that you were connecting with.

It was, it was very fun. And, and again, I, um, I adore this couple, this couple like completely adores each other. They're ridiculous. Um, and it was just so easy to fall into this place of comfort where I could let my hair down, like emotionally let my hair down and, and just be myself and like, be like this silly, like flirty girl and with this guy and well, and with his wife too.

Cause I thought she was really hot too and know that it was a hundred percent okay with you yeah and i knew you were having fun both observing me and with the wife yeah um and then you thought the other guy was so cool you you might have a little man crush on him i do well we're all first of all... First of all, he's a beautiful specimen of a human. But then he's also like this ridiculously nice guy. Yeah. Very intelligent. Yeah. And he's a runner. Very interesting. Actually, we're all forerunners. We all. Yes. We're all forerunners. And we ran together. So that was a lot of fun. Yeah. Anyway.

So that's the thing. Now, see, it took us six seven years to get here if you if you kind of break down what we said tonight and you can accelerate your pace a little bit um just like anything else the joneses are a little deliberate and it takes us a while to get but but i think i think the key thing is the phases that we went through you can go through them much faster if you can anticipate them and understand. Well, the key to success is to open your minds, to stay on the same page as a couple, and just to trust that a good outcome can come from it.

And don't keep looking over know, like this brick getting ready to fall on your head because somebody learned something about you. Right. You know, again, you don't have to produce an autobiography to, you know, to present to them. But you do need to kind of share yourself if you want them to share themselves with you. And don't start a podcast and then you're going to be safe. Yeah, right. Just keep your voices off the internet. All right. Well, when we come back, first of all, during break, I'm going to get a refill. And when we come back, we've got two or three or more snapshots to share.

Oh, Lord. Man, we've got some good ones. A whole weekend full. I know. We'll be right back. welcome back to segment 3 our snapshot welcome back to segment three our snapshots yay yes we've been kind of scarce on snapshots in 2020 it's good to have uh some in the bank i know thank goodness we finally have our own snapshots i mean you and i have a lot of. Just the two of us. Yeah. But everybody has those snapshots. Yeah, they're boring, right? No, honey, they're not boring. They might be kind of normal, but they're pretty good for us. Well, you go ahead. Hey, wait. Happy anniversary. Oh, yeah.

It took us to the very, very end of the episode to remember that. Yeah. You going to tell everybody what I got you? Oh, my gosh. Mr. Jones really does have at least one sentimental bone in his body. Every once in a while, I let it come out. You do.

so for our anniversary he got he ordered a canvas and i think it's one of these like facebook things i don't know where'd you find it uh one of our people in our community recommended it to me oh really so it's a canvas that you i guess you can order like the lyrics of a song yeah to be put on a canvas and in probably various designs so anyway mr jones got the song me and mrs jones the lyrics of that song put on this beautiful canvas in the shape of a heart and then over writing the whole lyrics it says me and mrs jones and then um and then at the bottom it has our real first names and then our the date of our Thank you.

writing the whole lyrics it says me and mrs jones and then um and then at the bottom it has our real first names and then our the date of our wedding day yeah it's really really beautiful and very sentimental so anyway that'll be our our fun dirty little secret okay yeah glad you like it thank you honey and happy anniversary anniversary that's 36 years of my life well 37 because we dated for a year no then no we're not doing that why are we not doing that the anniversary is the anniversary it doesn't extra days and hours that doesn't count but it's easy for us because we dated exactly a year before we got married yeah okay he really is sentimental All you ladies out there i swear okay snapshots let's get to the fun stuff yes please yes all right well you go first okay so my snapshot is from this past weekend and it really involves three different things okay i'm gonna a little cheat a little bit are you gonna order them a priority level or something this is not a priority level there there is three things about this weekend two things about this particular woman um that i wanted to express as being really unique and special first of all you know what we never said what that they're a soft swap couple oh yeah that's a good time to bring it up we had a weekend full of fun soft swapping yes and soft swap um as we've said before it it it really forces you to be creative and it draws out the evening.

Things last longer and there's less pressure on people. And it was really a fun time. So the first thing about her is she loves kissing. And you can tell when she kisses you. And you know, you kissed her. I did. And her lips are so soft. Yep. And she just, you can tell she is just so passionate about kissing that you can't help but not enjoy kissing her. I agree. And you could get, you could get caught up in the kissing and almost like forget about the rest of the stuff. Oh, baloney. Now you went too far. I said almost. Almost. Okay.

What I mean is you know the other stuff is going to be there, but there's no rush to it because the kissing is so enjoyable. No, I agree because I felt the same way with her husband. Yes. Yeah. That's number one. The most unique thing about her though, um, not only did we have a lot of fun together, but, um, she's a wiggler in a good way. I think I mentioned this on the, at the outset, you know, she, not only does she like intertwine herself around me or within me or back to back or even, but she likes to wiggle and she wiggles in all of the right areas and she never lays still.

She's always wiggling. And we were laughing about that because she self-confessed that she's a wiggler and she almost apologized for it, that she's a wiggler. And I said, no, you don't have to apologize for that. But anyway, when we, the four of us did a lot. When we were in the hot tub, this is my main snapshot. We were in the hot tub Saturday night and it was, it's hot tub weather. It's, it's cooling off a bit. And she and I were, she was, she was intertwined with me and we were making out. And you guys were on the other side of the hot tub talking. Oh, we...

and she and I were she was she was intertwined with me and we were making out and you guys were on the other side of the hot tub talking oh we were not talking okay we were talking but that was not the main activity we were just underwater whatever whatever you were talking and we were kissing and finally you know she said something about oh listen to them they're just over there talking and we're over here having this fun and i said well i know what we could do to shut them up and she said what and i said i'm gonna take you and put you up on the side of the hot tub and go down on you and she said okay and i know that i did that to you once a long time ago but but i just lifted her up out or she got up out of the water and i went down on her in the hot tub no no just say it like you bench pressed her up out of the water let everybody think you're a he-man yeah of course you did i just grabbed her and she is a little bit of nothing so yeah and then and it did work because you guys got quiet i'll defend myself in a moment yes it was a spectacular sight i'm not going to lie and you had both of our attention so you probably hit you had the best view right we had an amazing view because i was occupied but she has the most amazing nipples you have to admit she does because it was chilly outside they were extra perky yeah although they don't even need cold to be perky she yeah her breasts are perfect yes well pretty much everything about her is perfect yes it was spectacular to watch yep so anyway she she's an amazing kisser and she's a wiggler she's's a wiggler.

Yeah. And we had a lot of fun, but especially that hot tub memory is burned in my brain. Oh, it's burned in mine too. Yeah. Okay. Now tell everybody the real part of your snapshot. Okay. The real part of my snapshot was, you know, when we have friends over and that, you know, the thing about food after sex is there's nothing better. When it's desire, we're getting tacos or pizza. Yeah. Or not in New Orleans. They bring the pizza. Oh, yeah. And it's gone in no time. Or you go down to Crystal Burger. We've had people bring to our house cake. You've done fondue before. Yep. Chocolate fondue.

You know, we always try to have something, but this couple, he is the one who makes this specialty. Yes. He brought with him homemade banana cream pudding. It was so good. It was the best banana cream pudding we've ever had. So here the four of us were.

It's not your typical banana cream pudding recipe is so here the four of us were not your typical banana cream pudding recipe it's special no the four of us naked sitting in around the kitchen island well that was the first night i know so we broke into it the first night i know around the wet bar right outside the playroom in our basement yeah yeah but the second night was the best yeah the second night was the best so what did we do he ran we were in the hot tub you had finished going down on her yeah and then we're like hmm okay now what and he's like banana cream pudding yeah and we're like oh my gosh because it was kind of breezy it was chilly yeah it was kind of breezy like, well, I'm not going to get out to get it.

And he's like, I'll be right back. And he literally jumped out of the hot tub and ran all the way up to the kitchen and got the banana cream pudding and four spoons. And he was, so four spoons. See, we were like being COVID responsible. Yeah. That's a total absolute bad joke.

So the four of us were sitting in the middle of the hot tub so we were all holding up this this ceramic dish of banana cream pudding in the middle of the hot tub shoveling yeah spoonfuls of it into our mouths yeah it was incredible yeah yeah it was you can't even begin to imagine how good that tasted at like one o'clock in the morning in a chilly hot tub right that was so was so much fun. I know. It was a great weekend. It was. So that was like an elongated snapshot. Well, my snapshot is from the same weekend. And like you said, they were a soft swap couple.

He and I had amazing fun on the first night.

It just exceeded my expectations in so many ways and then the so the second night he and i were playing and we were kind of taking turns going back and forth paying attention to each other and at one point he said paying attention to each other what does that mean i don't know oh you know what the best snapshot of the whole weekend was fighting over the lube like the bottle of lube was a hot commodity all weekend no that was the first night because we kept saying where's the lube well there was only one bottle the first night so then the second night i brought down a second bottle of lube and it's still it was like Where's the lube?

Where, there was only one bottle the first night. So then the second night, I brought down a second bottle of lube. And it still, it was like, where's the lube? Where's the lube? Pass the lube. Yeah, somebody needs to invent a way to have that around your neck or something. I know. Actually, like, well, I don't even remember what night it was. The first night or the second night. Like, he was over on our sex chair. And you and I were in the bed. And he and his wife were on the sex chair. And he's like, I need the lube.

And you, like, threw it across the room he caught it like backwards one-handed i mean like we're a team he's professional football when you got that stuff going on that's right that was an amazing pass yeah so anyway he and i yes we were paying attention to each other yeah um but at one point does that mean you were giving him a blow job i mean so i've been doing this for six years now so i was giving him a blow job i was giving him a hand job i was using like i was like pulling all my tricks out of my bag yes all right so we're soft swap okay that's that's so much better than paying attention to each other yeah i mean and it was funny because you know i'm uh i'm i am right-handed but i give my best blow or no i give my best hand jobs left-handed like i'm kind of a little somewhat ambidextrous so we were kind of joking and laughing about that throughout the weekend but anyway so, he had gone down on me and he was using his fingers on me and I was like using my hands and my mouth on him.

And we were just kind of like switching it up back and forth. And of course we were kissing a lot because, you know, as you've said, his wife is an amazing kisser. Well, obviously she learned it from him or he learned it from her yeah um, yes, it was a very, it was very sensual and very unrushed, which I like. I'm kind of a slow poke when it comes to sex. I'm usually lagging behind you. So I was just completely in my element. Anyway, at one point he said, I have a question for you.

And I was like completely in my element um anyway at one point he said I have a question for you and I was like okay and he's like do you like 69 and I was like well yeah and earlier in the day we were at a winery with them and I said something about I had some ideas for that night and you were like like, oh, really? Because, of course, I don't fantasize and everybody knows that. But I had this idea in my head about things I wanted to try with them. And I said, so, yeah, I like 69, but can we take it a step further?

And he's like, well, what step further would that be and i said i said trust me so you and his wife were like busy doing your own thing on the other side of the bed and i said um excuse me we need you for a minute and you guys were like what and i'm like just just trust me come here come here so we ended up doing we ended up doing the eiffel tower. Yeah. Um, so Yeah. So because he had said when, when he asked me, he said, do you like 69? And I'm like, yeah. And he's like, well, would you sit? What's the Eiffel Tower? He said, would you sit on my face? Yeah. And I was like, oh, okay.

So the Eiffel Tower, at least the Eiffel Tower I'm thinking of is is when a man is laying down on the bed on his back and like one lady sits on his face so he can take care of her and the other lady sits on his cock. Yeah. So then he's kind of got, you know, both ends taken care of.

And then what we did, so since our soft swap swap couple i had his wife sit on his cock and facing you and facing me and then i was like over his face facing her so she and i could like kiss and make out and stuff and then i looked at you and i'm like come here come here come over here and kneel next to us so then she and I could not only kiss each other we could play with you at the same time so that's what we did and that's how he finished and that is how he finished yeah yes so it was a rousing success good for you honey it was amazing quite the call on that one yeah it was really fun the Eiffel Tower.

I know. And it was an amazing way for a soft swap situation to completely engage all four people at the same time. Yeah. Because all four people were equally being engaged and service and pleasured. I wouldn't say equally. And stimulated.

Okay, well, yeah, you were on his face and she was on his cock i know but well we were all involved yes but i had i was i had my hand on your cock right and i had my hand on her yeah yeah so yeah yeah now next time we we've already found a way to improve it so next time like if that were the situation, we would get over more towards the side of the bed and we would have you stand up because honestly, your cock was a little too low. I couldn't bend over to get it in my mouth. I didn't know what you were wanting to do or I would have stood up.

She was telling me to do one thing and you were telling me to do something else. I know, I needed like a blackboard with a sketch. Like a football play. I know, that's what I said. Yeah, I know. I needed the chalk and the whole bit. And a whistle. You had to have a whistle. So yeah, so your cock was a little too low for me to like get it in my mouth, but my hand was doing its best.

So next time we'll get you on the side of the bed to get your cock up a little higher, or if it's the other husband, get his cock up a little higher, and then we'll be able to be able to next time's the double blowjobs because you said you forgot that this time i know so so our friends are relatively new so i was like trying to like go through the obligatory checklist you're going through the bag of tricks yeah you had all of you well i cleaned up both mornings i had to come back and clean up. And there were toys and lube and hair ties all over the place. I know. Sex blankets, pillows.

I mean, it was quite the aftermath. Well, we've already figured out logistically where we're going to meet them again. And it's not in the middle, but it's a better drive for each of us. So, yeah, so we're going to meet them again. They accidentally held one of my items hostage by accidentally taking it home. And they accidentally left one of their items at our home. So we have this equal hostage exchange situation going on. We have to go to neutral territory for a hostage exchange.

Because heaven forbid, should we pay to mail it back to them no we'll just drive umpty ump hours i think that to meet them again someday we are both being penalized for for multiple snapshots in one night i know 2020 has been a shit show and we're we're like purging all this stuff because we had such a good time. Well, like if we have a real snapshot, I think we're allowed to like get it all out. Okay, banana cream pudding. On the outline it said capital B, capital C, capital P and I'm like, honey, what is that? And he was like, banana cream pudding. Like I was an idiot.

Like how would I not know that? Duh. Yeah. All right, let's wrap up idiot. Like, how would I not know that? Yeah. All right. Let's wrap up 80. Yes. So this has just been a really crappy year, but there has been so many bright spots in it. Yeah. And our community has been one of them, though.

The fact that we've been doing our biweekly Zoom chats and we're going to do another one this weekend and all of the the ladies chats and and the men's chats and the men's zooms and the book clubs and the happy hours and you know if you can it has helped to sustain us virtually it's really kind of been a sanity check yeah um just a place to go and let your hair down after dealing with homeschooling and distance learning and working from home and right and you know wearing yoga pants and slippers all day you know come come to the ladies happy hour with no makeup on and you know and your hair in a ponytail and it doesn't matter because we're going to love you no matter what right so if So if you want to, if you're interested in our community and we're going to have some big news, I keep promising this, but by December we should have some pretty big news about our community.

Yeah. But we still appreciate the emails. Mrjones at we got a thing.com. If you want to email me or Mrs. Jones at we got a thing.com. And of course our website is W E G O T T A T H I N Gjones at wegotathing.com and of course our website is w-e-g-o-t-t-a-t-h-i-n-g dot com, wegotathing.com you can follow us on Twitter at wegotathing and we also have a presence on Pinterest and we are very active on DDN and Cassidy and SDC and also we have promo codes for casual toys and for Everly Well to get your STI test at home And I'll see And SDC. And also we have promo codes for casual toys.

And for Everly Well to get your STI test at home. And all y'all that are trying to escape to Mexico, we even have a place to click through on USA Transfers. Yeah. We got it all. So, thanks for listening. We are Mr. and Mrs. Jones, and we got a thing. What's your thing? We'll see you next time.