Boy, do we have a lot to talk about this month....... Keeping up with The Joneses- A dinner and a "hot" hot tub date; a night out in Miami; the dreaded vanilla cruise; an awesome house party.. Discussion Topic- Our thoughts on CatalystCon- a conference described as a "melting pot of sexuality" Snapshots- Mrs Jones finds a good use for both hands and Mr Jones gets an eyeful.... Listeners Q&A- Do we think we could just "pull the plug" on the lifestyle and be happy? Mentioned in this episode: Catalyst Con East 2015 The Curious Couple for the Curious Ear Dr Zhana Vrangalova The Private Gym Life on the Swingset- Live at CatalystCon East Ending the Sexual Dark Age- Live at CatalystCon East Music licensed through BMI: Me & Mrs Jones- Billy Paul I'm in Miami Bitch- LMFAO Picture- Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow Mr Jones- Counting Crows This month's question: Could you and your partner pull the plug on the lifestyle and be happy? Let us know at [email protected]
Transcript
This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. If you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. Ew! So, now that you have that mental image stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us? Hello everyone, I'm Mr. Jones. And I'm Mrs..
Jones and we want to welcome you to episode eight of the We Got A Thing podcast and we got a lot of stuff to talk about tonight. Yeah, we've been busy. We are out of hibernation. Yeah, it seems like it's been forever, but we've been quite, we've been up to quite a bit, so we should probably just dive right into keeping up with the Joneses. Yep. So it is April 24th. 4th. It's a Friday night. Yep. We've been out for dinner with some of our vanilla friends, which was lovely to catch up with them.
We found a new brewery in our town, and we it out and we didn't realize it when we walked in but everybody in our town was at this brewery it was packed yeah it was great and then i asked the waitress i said when did you open and she said well we just opened today so that explained she said the governor was just here we're like darn we missed the governor yeah so we had some awesome brews there we did a flight and we pretty much liked everything on the tasting menu yeah we need to go back because they have a restaurant there we had eaten dinner before we we got there so we're gonna have to go back and make an evening of it yep so now we're at home and it's friday night and we um are podcasting obviously and we have our chocolate espresso martinis to keep us going for the next few minutes.
And you have your black dress on, and your girls are staring me at the face. So when did you wear that dress? This was in my naughty stocking. Ah, okay. Yes. So actually, I haven't even worn it yet. This is the first time I've had it on. Oh, you have a white one like that, don't you? I do. I do. Okay. Yeah. We got our picture taken at Desire with that one on. Okay. I'll try to keep my concentration. And I'm probably going to take this to Desire too. And how many more days? It's like 55 more days or something like that. I don't know. You got the app on your phone. Yeah. 55 days till Desire.
Well, we've got a lot to do between now and then. We do. And so let's dive right in because we had a date with a couple that are about an hour from us. And we met them and went out to dinner with them. And we brought them back here to the house. Well, first of all, we got to confess something about them. We kind of pimped ourselves out because they contacted us through We Got a Thing, not through our personal site. Right. So they were just kind of saying, you know, hey, we're kind of in your general vicinity. And they told us where they were.
And we're like, hey, well, we're actually not too far from you. Right. So we met him for dinner and they were a great couple. They, um, uh, the, the unique thing about this evening was that they had a babysitter and we've never been on the clock before. No, that's, they're actually the first couple that we've ever dated that have had to have a babysitter. Yeah. And so, um, we had to have a nice dinner and we, we came back to the house and we've, we've got a hot tub. And so we decided to get into that.
Well, we were sitting around drinking and talking and I was I was like looking at the clock thinking I could just hear it tick. Yeah, because they had an hour drive home. Yeah. So I said, well, let's go get in the hot tub and bathing suits are optional and I'm not wearing mine. And that kind of got us all moving out to the hot tub. And I think we took our drinks out there. We did. Stayed out there for a while and then we came inside. And it was funny because I can't remember if it was him or if it was her. One of them was saying, well, you know, maybe we're going to have to go.
And the other one was saying, well, no, we got time to stick around a bit. So it's a little bit of a mixed signal there but um yeah supposedly we had like 20 minutes to play and we all knew that wasn't going to happen i mean that that if we played it was going to take a little bit longer than 20 minutes yeah so the the um we in in one sense we were rushed but in the other sense it was good that they had a babysitter because it kind of forced us through that sometimes awkward phase of transitioning from dinner conversation and talk to actually playing. Right.
So I busted out the wheel of foreplay app again. Right. That thing comes in extremely handy. Right. And we came upstairs and had a nice time, had a nice soft swap. We did have a nice soft swap. You know, I was really, really relaxed that night. I think we actually really went into that with no expectations. And I think they kind of felt the same way. And we just ended up having such comfortable conversations. And everything just kind of flowed really naturally. Yeah, we had a good time.
So we had a date with the the local couple and then we had a really special treat because we we had been complaining okay i had been complaining that we were having to go on this vanilla cruise and originally we had talked about going to trapeze going to fort lauderdale and going to trapeze before we went to Miami to go to the cruise. And then we had listeners of ours contact us and say, you know, you might not want to go to Trapeze on Friday night. Because it's single guy night. Yeah. I think we mentioned this last time. Yeah, right.
So they ended up inviting us out to dinner in Miami the evening that we flew into town. So what a fabulous evening. We really didn't get there until late. Yeah, our plane didn't even land till like 9.15 or something like that. And then we had to, oh, we Ubered. We had never Ubered before. So if anybody lives like in a big city, I'm sure you are familiar with Uber, but it was the coolest thing thing and we had a really good experience and then kind of a shaky experience with Uber. Yeah. The dude, the dude picked us up and it was only, it was less than half the price of a cab fare.
And then he gave us a $20 discount because it was our first time. So we ended up, um, that, you know, for us, that was, that was pretty exciting to be able to Uber. I know, well, and he was a really nice guy. He was like a grad student just doing this to earn extra money. He was driving his own car and it was a nice Acura TL and you know, it was just, it was a real, so he was driving well because he was driving his own car. So it wasn't like this, like completely Alice in Wonderland down through the rabbit hole experience from Fort Lauderdale to Miami. Right it was fun talking to him.
Yeah, it was only about a 25-minute ride from Fort Lauderdale to Miami. And then we didn't get to the hotel until probably 9.30 or 10 o'clock. Oh, it was at least 10 o'clock, yeah. So they picked us up about 10.30. And they picked us up and took us to downtown Miami. And do you remember, I don't remember, I should have looked up the name of the restaurant that we went to. I think it was called Michael's. Yes, yes, that's what it was. Yeah. Yeah, and it was probably 11 o'clock at night, and we ate outside.
And because it had been cold weather up here, it was just really nice to be able to sit outside. It was heaven Miami and a really chic kind of an, um, eclectic restaurant. Yeah. It was one of the restaurants where everything is like locally sourced and oh my gosh, it was so cool. And the cocktails that we had there were amazing. Yeah.
They were different than anything we'd had before.crafted like she had a cocktail i think it was like kind of a spring off of a manhattan which normally i don't like manhattans because i'm not like a whiskey or bourbon girl but it had a sprig of fresh rosemary and then impaled on the sprig of fresh rosemary were these homemade maraschino cherries yeah oh my goodness yeah so everything was just really unique i think we had grilled octopus yes as an appetizer i kind of struggled with that but i ate some and actually it was really good but it just to see that tentacle just laying there on that plate it was just like oh my goodness there was a lot of there was a lot of peer pressure going yeah there was some peer pressure yeah but you ate it and and we made a comment about those maraschino cherries and the and the waiter brought us a whole like a whole cup of them a couple oh they were so good yeah um really great evening really great couple and so they were trying to take us out to like oh well we went to this place um it was a speakeasy and it was a friday night you would think that everything would be happening but it was so late by this time because we just lingered over dinner and actually shut the restaurant down.
So they were trying to kind of show us a couple other places in Miami and everything was just either already closed because I think it was like one or two o'clock in the morning at this point, you know, so we ended up going to like three or four places and either they were dead or they were closed. So we ended up standing on the sidewalk, just having this awesome conversation about going to lifestyle clubs and just all kinds of events that they had done together. And we were sharing events that we had done together and it was so much fun. Yeah.
I mean, the whole evening was just, I mean, I don't want to overstate it, but it of magical. I mean, it was just, it was Miami, it was warm weather. And, you know, again, we've talked about this before, but here's these people we've never met before. And, you know, they invited us out and they picked us up and they picked out the restaurant and we had, and such a good time and such good conversation. And I, and you two ladies had your heels on and we were standing there on the sidewalk talking and talking and talking until late into the early morning hours.
So it was just a it was a lot of fun and it really helped kick off our vacation on the right. Yes, it did. So thank you so much, our new friends in Miami, for showing us the ropes down there. Yes, that's right. And if you're back into D.C., we look forward to returning the favor. And actually, just FYI, we booked the same cruise for next spring break. So we'll see you next year. Yeah, that's right. Be back to Miami at the end of March next year. So that leads us to our cruise. Yes, our vanilla cruise turned out to be a lot of fun.
it was a lot of fun i have to admit um so it you know the the crew we went on should we we went on celebrity yeah and this is the first time we had been on celebrity we normally um we're royal caribbean people normally yeah so uh celebrity is a little bit we chose you chose well because the The entertainment was more adult oriented and like you said you didn't see shrek walking around every corner i love shrek but i didn't really miss him this time yeah and the the bars were awesome and the entertainment was awesome i mean that the bars were entertainment yes the bartenders were incredible they would put on a show and they'd make a martini right oh my gosh right so much fun so anyway it started out by we made a big deal out of we were going to wear our black rings and see if we could meet other swingers the long and short of it is we think we might have met one or met a couple but it was at the very end of the week and we couldn't find him again.
Yeah. But, but anyway, we, no one, well, they did notice our rings, the first couple that we, but they didn't, they didn't know what they were, the significance of. But anyway, we were on the, we were on the back of the boat during the sail away. It was called the sunset bar. It was on the 14th deck. It was just perfect. It was like five o'clock.
Could not have been nicer been nicer weather and we were just they were there having a drink and we ended up just being with a couple right next to us and i said something to her about where they were from and if there's their first cruise and and we talked to them for a while and they were they were a very attractive couple and you know we we probably talked to them for about an hour yeah and we exchanged names and thought oh well you know this is great you know maybe we'll run into them again and then was it that night it was that night so that night so we had open seating dining and we walked to the we went down to the dining room and we just said we're we're here for a table for two for two.
And how many people are on this ship? Like over 3000. Yeah. 3000 people in the ship. And so we go down there and they take us to a table for two and then sitting right next to us was this couple that we met. It was fate. Yeah, it was fate. And I said, uh, aren't you the couple that we met?
And so then we, we hit it off again and we ended up, you you know having dinner conversation and basically we spent the entire week yeah hanging out with them i thought mr jones was going to try to convert them well i wouldn't have minded you know we okay so let's talk about that okay um they were very attractive they were very attractive and and she was smitten with you because she was a spitfire and you gave her right back to her that's right she liked that and i had a battle of she flipped him off about i don't know 20 times during the week and if it wasn't that it was fuck you yeah and her little long island accent she was adorable they were from new york and and we kind of hit it off and we found out we had a lot in common.
And yeah. Oh, so we started talking about vacations and I just threw out that we had been to Desire, which was a clothing optional. And that really piqued their interest. And Desire seems to be, especially when you're on vacation, it's that safe entry point into these sorts of conversations. And so naturally they started asking questions about desire and we kind of teased them. We said, well, we're going to give you one story a night, you know, depending on how this relationship goes through the week. And, and we were very patient, you know, we didn't, I didn't, I didn't try to convert them.
Well, they, they hung with us all week, so you didn't scare them off. Yeah. But we did have some, I mean, you know. We't i didn't i didn't try to convert them well they they hung with us all week so you didn't scare them off yeah but we did have some i mean you know we had some good conversations yeah i mean she was talking about how large he was and then that intrigued you and then we convinced her to take a picture of him because it was his birthday you know one of the nights so i got to see a picture of him in his birthday suit right and then when we were in St.
Martin and you took your top off and I took a picture of you then I got to show him a picture of you with your top off so that you know that the conversation was very adult and spicy and mature but but we um never really got to the point and I didn't want to force the issue I mean it, it was just, I was just enjoying being with them and the relationship kind of just went its own way, but, um, they were, they were a whole lot of fun and we're going to, they're going to come down, I think this summer and spend a weekend with us. So we'll see. Maybe stay tuned. Right. Yeah.
So then, uh, like the second to the last night, um, they turned the, uh, like the wine bar into this really cool nightclub. And the wine bar was really, really beautiful. It was like all the dark red leather and the walls were dark and dark wood and everything. So they, it was really dark in there. And they set up like the big birdcage and had dancers in the birdcage.
And the DJ was was really playing some cool music so we were all in there dancing and there was this couple in there about our age really attractive couple and this lady had just let her hair down and she was just really enjoying dancing she was tall she was tall she was a tall beautiful blonde very willow like just beautiful yeah she just kind of took over the dance floor. She did. And then coincidentally, the other couple that we were just talking about, they were there also. And this tall blonde lady got up on top of the coffee table and started dancing.
And then the couple that we met from New York, she got up and started dancing with her. And the boat was actually moving that night. Most of the time that we were in really calm water but the boat was actually rocking that night so you're you've been drinking you're dancing and then you climb on top of a coffee table can you just imagine where the story's going right so at some point in time the blonde of the the couple she fell she lost her balance and went. And she fell right into me and I caught her. And at first I thought it was an accident. It was an accident. I didn't think anything.
But she really enjoyed being caught. Yeah. So anyway, we, we enjoyed dancing. I caught her. We had some small talk right there. And then, and then later we went to the martini bar.
So you need to talk about the martini bar because you were really i mean we both really enjoyed the martini bar so describe the martini bar on this ship so the martini bar was oval shaped and it went all the way around and then there was like a you know like an island in the middle where they had all the bottles of liquor so the bartenders could go all the way around inside this oval well the the countertop like the bar part that they would set the drinks on was it was marble on the outside but then on the inside like the the bulk of the of the bar area where they would set stuff was metal and it was kind of like the old-fashioned freezers where you know how the frost would build up and you'd have to unplug them and and defrost them so it was metal and there must have been like coils underneath of it because they would like turn on the coils like an hour before the bar would open and that metal would get all frosty so they would set the martini glasses down on this frosty cold metal and your drink would stay cold it was really really cool and then you could like etch things in the in the frost so we were like writing dirty things in the frost with like our straws and toothpicks and stuff and yeah yeah and they were and the and the bartenders were entertainers as well so they were mixing drinks and they were flipping the martini jar glasses i mean like big one liter bottle of gray goose vodka they could flip that sucker like 10 feet up in the air and catch it and it it was just amazing.
Right. So anyway, after the blonde fell into my arms and then we went back to the martini bar and the couple that we met from New York had gone off and they had talked to another couple. And I think you looked over to the couple and you said something about them. They were either looking our way or whatever.
Well, before she got up on on the coffee table was dancing and we were just all dancing on the dance floor she kept looking over at me and smiling right and i felt like she was kind of flirting with me and i'm like this kind of feels like more of a lifestyle kind of event because i had a really attractive lady like make an eye contact with me and flirting and she was really attractive too and was like hmm i kind of like this so then when we so then we were at the martini bar so oh and then like when i got i forgot to tell you guys this was a formal night and mr jones had his tuxedo on so when he caught her it was just like total james bond you were just totally like saving the day it was it was so awesome so i thought that was really hot that you caught her Oh, thank you.
And it was just like, you know how James Bond will like, you know, dive off of a cliff and land and he just gets up and he brushes his sleeve off. That's exactly how you were. You just caught her in your tuxedo and you kind of just stood up and straightened your lapel. Picked my martini back up. Yeah, right. Picked your martini back up and just kept dancing. It was awesome.
So anyway, after that, we went to the martini bar and you looked across the bar and you and you know i made eye contact with her again there's an attractive couple over there and i said well let's go talk to them so we got up we went around to the other side of the bar and of course i had a an opening line because i had caught her on the dance floor so i can't remember exactly what i said it. It was smooth though, honey. Yeah. So she turned around and started talking with us.
And this is really, this is really interesting because, you know, we, she, the, one of the first things she said and her husband was there, she said, you know, I have to tell you, you all are an extremely attractive couple. Now keep in mind, this is vanilla Vanilla, you know, Vanilla Cruz. And when she said that, I thought, well, gosh, we must be giving off some sort of a vibe or are they lifestylers? Because she had already been flirting with me. Right. There was something going on there. Right. But this was the second to the last night. I know, which was too bad.
But anyway, we talked to them for a long while and, and they had their kids with them. Right. But they said, Hey, are you guys going to be back here tomorrow night? And we said, yeah, we'll probably be back at the martini bar tomorrow night. She said, okay, well, we're going to ditch our kids and we'll come back and meet you. And we'd love to talk to you some more. Well, they were from Georgia. Right.
And, um, when we said goodbye to them she kissed me and you know so it was almost like a lifestyle it was and he yeah we kissed each other on the cheeks and and then i said i got the perfect way to figure out if they're in the lifestyle because they lived in atlanta and i was just i just wanted to ask them i didn't think of this until after like we were headed back to our stateroom. I should have asked them if they had ever been to trapeze. No, but see, that was going to be your opening line the last night. Right, right.
Because you said, well, when we see them, how we can start talking about the lifestyle is I can mention trapeze to see if they've ever been there before. Right, or at least heard of it. Yeah, and unfortunately. No, we didn't see them again. They didn't show up.
And that's one of the things I hear, you know, when we talk to people that have been on the swinger cruises they say that's one of the biggest challenges is that they'll they'll run into a couple that they're really attracted to and they won't get their stateroom number or whatever and they think okay we'll run into them again we have all week and then they don't ever see them no no but there's one big difference here they had their teenage kids with them i know so undoubtedly i undoubtedly, they were, and it was the last night of the cruise. Right, so they were packing.
They were probably with their family, and they were packing. And so we missed an opportunity there. We did miss an opportunity because they were both very attractive. So between those two couples, I mean, we, I thought that it was a very interesting vanilla cruise. It was.
And the couple from New York is going to come down and spend a weekend with us this summer we have the love of beer in common we did yeah we did we did a fun pub crawl in san juan oh my gosh that was fun our ship didn't get into san juan until like 3 30 so you can't really like do a beach day so mr jones and i decided that we would just try to find a couple like bars to go to and then i i picked out a restaurant onelp that I wanted to have dinner at and so we just eat dinner out instead of going back to the ship so then we ran into this other couple they actually brew their own beer from New York yeah yeah they brew their own beer so you know they had planned on doing the exact same thing and she's like well what places do you pick out what places do you pick out so we decided to to go to this one brewery that was actually you could see it from the the pier and so we got there and we just started old harbor brewery so yeah if you ever go go to san juan that was a good place to start so then we just started asking people in there where are you going next you know we found some local people where's a good place to go and we found a couple pubs that were off the beaten path that i didn't even see on yelp right and we're like okay well it's only you know we knew we were never going to be more than like 10 blocks from the ship so we figured you know what's the harm right so we trudged on up there and uh ended up having the best time oh my gosh we had a good time i don't we went to three different bars and then next to one of the bars, it was a little, I don't know if it was a tapas bar, there was a restaurant there, but somebody said, hey, they've got really great fried rice and bean balls.
We're like, what the hell is that? We're eating rice balls? So one of the guys, the guy, the husband of the couple from New York, he ran next door and ordered a bag of them and came back and brought them back and they were so good they were amazing and in the meantime we were we were meeting everybody in the bar and none of them were from the ship no you know they were all americans but they were down there on vacation and the bartenders were local and they were letting us come behind the bar and take pictures of of ourselves in front front of the taps. Oh my gosh.
And then she, you know, the police there in San Juan drive around on golf carts and she jumped up on the golf cart and said, Hey, can I, can I put your hat on? I want to take a picture. And the cop didn't know what to do. He was kind of taken aback.
You got to remember this girl's from long island so she's like fearless yeah and had been drinking yes we have been drinking a lot i mean we had so much fun that night so we got it back to the ship just in time yeah yeah so you know we we really had a good time and we'll we'll talk more about this later in the podcast with our question about um you know, cruising with vanilla people. We're going to go again next year. We are. We actually booked the same cruise. Yeah, that was a lot of fun. Yeah. So anyway, the last thing that we want to tell you that we did was the house party.
So, oh, so that was the last day of the cruise.
We had to fly because you booked the southwest airline i know we had sorry to crack on southwest airline oh my gosh we had to fly from good we had to fly from fort lauderdale to houston texas and then from houston to washington dc and we couldn't check in because we were on the ship right and so we couldn't check in early so we were in the last right zone or whatever they call them yeah so we couldn't sit together either time zone z i was sitting between two guys on from from fort lauderdale to houston it was a you know it's a three easy three easy airplane so i'm in the middle of course because we're the last ones on and the two guys had both arms.
Not only did I have to sit with my arms crossed, I had to sit with my shoulders crooked because my shoulders did not fit between their shoulders. I was miserable and I was, I was pretty bitchy too. Right. And I was sitting next to this probably 10 year old kid and his mom was like two, two aisles back. And on the other side, he kept going, mom, mom.
And he was having problems with this finally i said give me that thing i can fix it what's the problem but at any rate so we digress but we had been invited to this house party and we weren't sure if we're going to be able to make it because it was that night that we got off the ship it was the night that we flew back and so we landed at national airport at Airport at 6.30. The party started at 8. And we had to go to economy parking. We had to pick up our car. We had to drive home. We had to shower. We had to change. And I'm texting. I'm saying, we're on our way.
We're going to be there by 9.30. And fortunately, the party was only about 20 minutes from our house. And the couple that was hosting, we had been out on a dinner date with a few months ago. And we'd really decided that we wanted to go because there was a couple there that we had played with before that was going to attend. And so we said, okay, well, at least we know. And they don't look very close. So we were really excited about the opportunity to see them. Right.
So fortunately, our flights were all on time, and there was no traffic, and we got home, and we got changed, and we got to the party just after 9.30, which is when they were going to... We were the last ones there. There was another couple that walked up to the door at the same time. But we beat them in the door. They were ahead of us, but we managed to park closer to the front door when we got in the door before they did. Right. so this is our second house party, but this was our really first real house party because I would say, how many couples do you think were there?
This time, he said that 22 couples RSVP. And I have to say, first of all, the hosts were absolutely amazing. They knew what they were doing. I mean, they obviously had done this before.
First of all, the home was beautiful oh my gosh and then they had every room every room had a purpose right they completely transformed every room in their house it was so wonderful right they had food they had drinks um they walked us around and introduced us and they gave us a tour that we went downstairs and they had a dungeon room set up in their basement he had a massage table down there he's a photographer so he had a little studio set up you know down there that looked like he could use if you wanted him to the middle level was where most of the socializing was going on there was a table that had food all over it and then in the kitchen in the island area there was a bar and people were just mingling on the first floor and then he took us upstairs and i would say that well there's three or four bedrooms four bedrooms but the amazing bedroom was the master bedroom where they had they had their master bed but then they had a sitting room which was elevated about bedroom was the master bedroom where they had um they had their master bed but then they had a sitting room which was elevated about um a foot or so you so you had to step up into the into that room right and and they had mattresses from wall to wall there were six arrow bed queen size arrow bed mattresses that fit the sunroom was almost like a huge alcove right that you stepped up into and six queen side size arrow bed mattresses fit perfectly in there right and they had them all covered with sheets and they had music and they had candles and they had little bowls with lube and condoms and they had towels oh my gosh they had thought of everything that you could think of.
And they called that little room, the moon bounce, the bounce house, because they were all aero beds. But anyway, we, we got down, we met everybody. We kind of walked around and we talked for a while. But we were late. Yeah.
And that's kind of that, I don't know, especially I i guess with our personalities that kind of puts you at somewhat of a disadvantage because i think i don't really think people there were very cliquish but i think they just had an opportunity to already meet each other right um so i think they did a really good job with the guest list yeah but i think if there were if there were 20 couples there i think people there. Oh yeah. At least. So we had enough time to kind of walk around and chat with people and meet people and people had already been in the dungeon and kind of come back upstairs.
Right. I mean, there were already people scantily clad at that point. Um, you know, so that I could tell that we kind of walked in after things had begun. Right. But so we so we got drinks and we walked around and we hooked up. Well, we started talking with the couple that we had played with before. And and the ironic thing about this couple is this was the first no kissing couple that we played with. Right.
And they don that rule anymore hallelujah right right more to follow yeah so um and then there was another couple that that they knew somehow they had met at a different event and they actually lived pretty close to us but very close to us we didn't know them and and the couple that we knew knew them and so the six of us started talking and fortunately the um the lady from the couple that we played with before is very uh outgoing yeah yeah so i think she had kind of already like masterminded the evening mapped this out in her mind.
And, uh, before we knew it and the, and the other couple that we met, they were both attractive. And, um, so before we knew it, she said, Hey, why don't we go upstairs? Come on upstairs. Do you all want to go? And we said, sure. That's, that's the whole point.
So the, the group play was going on in the master bedroom with the big bounce house and the uh um and of course they had the king size bed that they actually slept on right you know that was available for play so the majority of the people were actually in that room and then the three guest rooms were set up for more of a private play area um so the six of us ended up going into one after we kind of watched the the group play for a few minutes we went into one of the the guest bedrooms the six of us yeah the six of us did and it was amazing it was our first six i mean the you three ladies i i mean i can't even remember how it started but you ended up three of you ended up with your clothes off and i've Thank you.
Oh, all three of us, that was really fun. With three of you and, let me see. I can't even remember how it all played out. Well, the lady that we just met, she was laying on her back. You were kissing her. Yeah, I was kissing her.
And the lady that we just met she was laying on her back you were kissing her yeah i was kissing her and the lady that we had played with before she went down on the other lady right and the three of us guys were just kind of standing there watching and um it was some kind of hot and everybody was i don't think you guys stood there and watched for long because i know there were some hands on me pretty much the whole time we well we were we were on the outskirts you know we were just kind of touching and feeling and maybe some kissing wait a minute i know how things started because we all had to get undressed and as i was getting undressed the guy that we had played with before that I had never had the opportunity to kiss said, let me help you with that.
And he was helping me get my dress off and undo my bra. And then he turned me around and he said, now it's time to do this. And he kissed me. Yeah. And so we played with them. I think like November was the first time he played with them. It was before we went to Desire. Yeah. November, yeah. So we've been waiting a long time to kiss him, and it was totally worth the wait. Yeah. That was fun. That's right. That was how it started.
Yeah, and she and I kissed, too, which really confirms a lot of what we talked about in Episode 5, when we talked about full swap and soft swap, and we talked about being able to kiss. to kiss and oh my gosh, what a difference, what a difference that makes because I was able to kind of get lost in her and, and not think about, you know, everything else that was going on. And you know, what else was nice about it is that we've been with them several times now, so now we're comfortable with them and it was just, it was easy to start kissing them.
It wasn't, you know, that whole, I've never even touched this person before and now I'm kissing them. And you know, that the whole unknown thing, cause this was a little more familiar. So it was easier to get in the groove. And then, um, and so it made it easier to transition to that other couple. Cause that other couple, they were kissing on their own. Right.
But right but and you had a you had an opportunity to talk to the gentleman from the third couple too before you went in the room to say this is a soft swap session right you know kind of communicate with everybody that we're all on the same page and then after that I think I don't think they had played all that much before so he really wanted to make sure that every he understood everybody good. Yes, it was good. Because I think that gave them the level of comfort that they could just relax and enjoy themselves.
And, uh, and again, just watching the three of you and then participating the way that we were. Um, and you know, then, then I think as we began to break apart into twosomes, I ended up with the woman that we had played with before and she went down on me right and i ended up with a new guy right he went down on you yeah and then i went down on him right but when but when she went down on me almost immediately again and this has happened to me like two or three times. And within a minute, I was like, you got to slow down.
And, and she kind of smiled and she said, Oh, you're a little worked up, are you?
And, and then, and I have to give her a hundred percent of the credit because she, she disengaged from me and she went over to the other guy and started messing around with him and that gave me about five minutes to relax and and let things settle down and then when she came back to me she came right back to me and started again and then we were fine and then I was able to go but it must be what I'm learning is that this this watching you especially with other women in this case two other women that just amps me up so much that I am just ready to because it couldn't have been I think that's what I'm saying.
especially with other women in this case two other women that just amps me up so much that I am just ready to because it couldn't have been um that it had been so long since you had had sex because we had a whole lot of sex on that cruise ship yeah no oh yeah we didn't even talk about no we didn't oh we'll have to go back yeah uh anyway um the six of us ended up just switching back and forth. And, you know, a six of them is so much less pressure than a foursome. Yeah. I thought it would be kind of confusing.
Because when I got a little bit worked up and she disengaged from me, she was able to go over to the other guy and I was just watching. She got down. I was laying on the bed and he was standing by the side of the bed and he was going down on me right and so she got down on her hands and knees and she because he was leaning over the bed and she got underneath him and started um giving him a blow job while he was going down on me and i didn't even realize it because my eyes were rolling back in my head because he was doing a really good job. Right.
So after he finished, I looked and I'm like, Hey, I know her. She's down on the floor underneath him and she's climbing back up. Right. But there was a lot of that. There was a lot of, there was a lot of switching around and there was a lot of, it was very relaxed. And again, I didn't feel a lot of pressure because there's six people, and so you, people were just kind of touching, and kissing, and doing whatever, and moving around, and, and it was very relaxed, and, and I think that really helped. I mean, I think everybody had a really good time. Yeah.
We ended up soft swapping for a long time, and I went down on her, she went down on me, you know, we kissed a lot, which was really And I'll see you next time. And, um, we ended up, um, soft swapping for a long time and I went down on her, she went down on me, you know, we kissed a lot, which was really nice. And then eventually the couple that we had just met, they eventually went off on their own. I think they went into one of the other bedrooms because I think the other two bedrooms were still empty. Well, no, I see.
They started, they started full, um, fucking each other before the four of us went back. Is Is that what they were doing like when they were at the foot of the bed? Yeah. Okay. I saw him over there, but I was distracted. Yeah, so he was fucking his wife, and then I was still with the other woman, and you were still with the other guy. And so I think they finished, and they they left the room and then there was just the four of us.
And then after we finished the soft swap, well, I guess there was some sort of a conversation that I kind of got halfway involved in because you had told me that there was an opportunity for full swap. Yeah. Cause they have, not only have they started kissing, they're actually a full swap. Yeah. So they leapfrogged them.
First, when we played with them, they were a no kissing couple well they were like virgins yeah we were the first couple they ever played with yeah so not only do they kiss but they've full swapped like two or three times and you and i are slow what can i say so i think there was a maybe some discussion there about maybe a full swap opportunity and and who knows maybe maybe that the right couple.
I think that might, yeah, I think they could definitely be the right couple, but it wasn't the right setting because that, that third couple was still there and they, they kind of disappeared on us and we didn't even get a chance to say goodnight to them. I think they had to go home.
Um, so we, you know, that, that was kind of an unknown and there was, um, there was a lot of noise coming from the other room well which some of the noise was really hot and some of it was very pornish okay so let's talk about the dynamic in the room so with 20 something couples uh the first of all the host and the hostess were were absolutely magnificent yeah they were so gracious and they were making sure everybody was engaged in something exactly and had everything they needed but the but the noise that was coming from the bounce house um was definitely sounded like a porn movie and so i think you know a lot of it was or some of it was acting maybe some of it was a lot of it was show a lot of it was really hot I mean there was some genuine hotness going on in there yeah but I think there I think it was one lady you could just pretty much tell it was always the same voice and it was right nobody has an orgasm for that long it was like a half an hour right I don't know and I think we started giggling yeah you know about that in our room I know it was kind of distracting yeah because it just went it was just Thank you.
Right. I don't know. And I think we started giggling about that in our room. I know. It was kind of distracting. Yeah. Because it was just overdone. Right. So anyway, the six of us finished up, and we came back downstairs half-dressed and walked around and got something to eat and talked to some other people.
And then we didn't stay much much longer than that and we left home but yeah we had been up early oh yeah it was a long day but it was a major success i know and i hope that's an awesome party i hope we get invited back because and if we ever get to host a party here in our house well now we know how to do it yeah so anyway that's that's that was our house party did we now we know how to do it. We know how to do it. Yeah. So anyway, that's, that's, that was our house party. Did we, did we miss anything? I guess that's, I don't know. With the house party? Yeah.
With the house party or anything else? I think we both have some snapshots from the house party that we'll share later. We'll talk about that a little later. Do you want to back up and talk about cruise ship sex? Oh yeah. Oh, we had some good sex in the cruise ship. Yeah.
We had, uh, I am like a crazy person when i go to book a cruise not only do i have to like pick out the perfect ship and the cruise line i feel comfortable with and and make sure the ports are the ports that we want to visit i have to get exactly the right cabin we um we made the mistake of getting a balcony cabin years and years ago and they always say once you once you get a balcony, you can't go back to an inside stateroom. And that is so true. We just, we really enjoy our balcony.
Um, we always get room service in the morning and it was all we get is a pot of coffee and they take it out and put it on our balcony. And that's just the most amazing way to wake up in the morning. Right. But it's also the best place to have sex. Right. So I picked out this balcony.
some of the cruise ships have like these humps on the side they kind of stick out a little bit so i picked a balcony kind of on the side of this hump and what ends up happening is it it makes like every other balcony on in that area of the ship have an extra extra deep balcony so it's extra extra private right so it had nice walls and a nice roof over top of us yeah nice nice lounge chairs two really nice lounge chairs and a table big enough that you could actually have a full breakfast out there right it was amazing i'm just gonna jump right to the one that was most memorable okay you go right ahead you you brought your um glass dildo i did and did.
And you brought your, what's the thing that looks like a tongue? Be Curious. Yeah, your Be Curious toy, which is your vibrator. Yeah. And you sat in your chair and you used them both on yourself at the same time and you made quite a mess in the balcony.
You squirted all over the place it was embarrassing no it was hot yeah okay you think it was hot depending on your perspective yeah well i it it was it was awesome well and then oh oh there is one other story so the the roof of the balcony is metal and the walls are metal and it's a big balcony and so the sounds echo and so the first time we were out there and you started moaning and you were you were playing with yourself and you started moaning because you were getting close to orgasm and the guy next door walks out the guy next door walks out of his balcony and he wasn't peeking around, but we could see.
Yeah. Yeah. And I thought, well, I've got to figure out a way to shut you up. So Mr. Jones got up out of his chair and he walked over and he stuck his cock in my mouth. And it worked like a charm. It did. All of a sudden the sound were muffled and I was getting a little bit out of it. Yeah. I didn't mind, but I knew that's what you did. Yeah. So the balcony, the balcony sex was amazing. Yes. I guess we had sex in our bed too. Yeah, we did. Yeah, we did. Yeah. Oh yeah. So I learned I have a two martini limit after dinner. One night we stayed at the Mardini bar way too long.
We shut it down and I ended up having three martinis. So Mr. Jones tells me we had some really amazing sex that night and I pretty much just have to trust him. Oh my gosh, that's right. That's right. I remember snippets from it. No, you could, cause you were saying like, fuck me harder. And I'm like, wow, I don't usually hear that. I must be really good. And then the next morning, you didn't remember.
The next morning, I think I was still drunk because, you know, I told you we have the little, if we have the room service guy bring us coffee, well, you have to check, like, this half-hour window that you want your coffee.
And we're early risers, so we always we always check the seven o'clock box well that's not good after you've had three martinis the night before because when what happens is when he knocks on the door mr jones gets up and puts on a pair of shorts and i run into the bathroom because i'm there naked and i'm not gonna lay there when they bring the coffee so i hop the door knocks on the door and i'm like oh my gosh i gotta get up so i hop out of bed and white into the wall yeah but you know what the good thing about that trip though with gray goose you didn't really you never had a hangover hangover yeah still drunk yeah we had this awesome premium drink package and so it was basically all-inclusive drinks and alcohol and everything so and it was all top shelf so everything we drank had gray goose in it and yeah no headaches to be had but but you do wake up drunk the next morning so sorry we got that a little bit out of order but you squirting all over the balcony and how i mean it was all over chairs it It was all over over the floors.
It was pretty, it was pretty good. Yeah. So anyway, I think that, that pretty much gets you up to date with keeping up with the Joneses. We've been, we've been extremely busy. So we are going to transition into segment two. In just a minute, we're going to talk about Catalyst Con. There were swingers there there were polyamorous people there there were gay lesbian transgender it was the whole gamut of the melting pot of sex positivity non-ogamy. So it wasn't just swingers. Actually, swingers was kind of a small part of it. Right. And there were a couple reasons we decided to go.
First of all, it's in Washington, D.C., so it wasn't costly for us to travel there. It's right in our backyard. And then Life on the Swing set was going to be doing a podcast from there. And Ending the Sexual Dark Age. Yeah, and Ending the Sexual Dark Age. And we're fans, both fans of those shows. And then there were a couple of speakers that were speaking that really looked like the sessions were interesting that we wanted to attend.
And then the bottom line is we just wanted to put ourselves in a position of interacting with these different genres, for lack of a better term, of sexual positivity just to see just from a personal aspect and from our relationship aspect then selfishly from podcasting, because we knew that it was going to give us, you know, probably something to talk about as well. So, um, how do we want to, I guess the overall or the life on the swing set session, um, they just did a live podcast.
And so we were able to meet Cooper and you know those of you who have listened to episode six we we interviewed Cooper but we had never met Cooper Beckett before so it gave us an opportunity to meet him and to watch them do their podcast and just I mean they they you know they've been together for a while as a group. So, you know, just the, uh, effortless camaraderie and the flow of their podcast, they just make it look so darn easy. So it was good to meet, um, Cooper and Ginger and Dylan and Techno Geisha and, you know, all of their support crew and their, their partners and spouses.
And, um, so, so we really enjoyed sitting in on their session and then sitting in on the session with, uh, JV and Shara from ending the sexual dark age. It was good to meet them and, and, you know, kind of, you know, what was the, they were, they were promoting, they interviewed the guy from the private gym. Yeah.
And I'll put a link to the private gym on there it's it's a guy who does this business about like kegel exercises or something for men right where you actually put a weight on the end of your cock and you do exercises or something but anyway they it was like a regular conference because they had breakout sessions and then they had vendors in a room and and one of the vendors was this guy ending the sexual dark age. Well, he sponsored a cocktail party on Saturday night. His business did, so it was pretty fun. And then we all went to lunch together, so we had a... Yeah, we had a fun lunch.
I forget where we ended up going. Oh, it was Bar Louie's. Oh, yeah, it was Bar Louie. And, there was probably, I don't know, at least what, 12, 15 of us that went to lunch together and that was fun meeting new people. We met a couple from Toronto. We met a couple from Michigan. Yeah. Um, New England. Yeah. New England.
So we, yeah, just had fun and, and they were all, um, well, most of them were affiliated with, uh, life on the on the swing set but this one couple they were just kind of there on their own right and they were at the bar when we walked in and we saw they were wearing the lanyard with the uh the pass for the conference and we're like hey come have lunch they were from michigan yeah they were the couple from michigan they were a cute young couple and actually uh i think they in the Washington, D.C. area for a while before they moved to Michigan. I think they went to college near D.C.
Oh, and you know the one thing that we forgot was we were in the elevator and there was another lady in the elevator. And I think we said hello to her. Yeah, so it was just the three of us riding down from our hotel room. Right, and we got off to go to that right that's what made me think of it and she came up to me and us and she said are you Mr. and Mrs.
Jones we were like what no oh yes because we had I mean we had taken some business cards we got a thing business cards but we hadn't really promoted who we were you know we were just a couple at the conference yeah she said i recognized your laugh we listened to your podcast and that and that was really at first at first it was it caught me off guard i i i was just confused because i'm like what what where's this coming from and then when she explained it then i felt kind of flattered you know that she recognized And then she, she pulled her husband over and she said, it's them.
I'm like, what? It's no big deal. So we ended up talking to them for a while. And that was pretty cool. And that was fun. And it's funny to meet somebody like that. And they, and they know so much about us. Right. Because we have to say, well, you know, have you listened to all of our episodes? Because we don't want to. And they had. Yeah, they had. So we didn't want to like repeat ourselves. And so we basically have to just listen, you know, to their story, which is what we want. Yeah. Yeah. They had a good story.
Um, anyway, well, one of the things that, um, that was a highlight, well, there, there's two things that we want to talk about. Um, I guess, do you want to talk about the session we went to first or do you want to talk about the party? Yeah, let's talk about the sessions and then save the party for the end. Okay. Okay. So the first session we went to was, um, a session on consensual non-monogamy and the lady that presented it, her name, she goes by Dr. Zana. She's a professor at NYU in the psychology department.
And she's done a lot of studies on just different types of consensual non-monogamy and comparing people in that sample to the general population and just different benchmarks. And a couple of the things that she pointed out that I found really interesting. And we're going to put a link to her website and to this presentation because a lot of what we're going to talk about now is sourced by her research and the surveys that she's done. So there is some science behind it.
So we're just going to talk about kind of what she presented, but then we'll give you a link if you want to go back and look at the full presentation to see what her sources were. So the first thing that she said that I thought was really interesting is that women, and this is just women in general, women tend to have a more socially, tend to have more socially malleable ideas of their sexuality than men do. And I felt that really interesting because women always seem to be much more conservative about their sexuality.
But you know, she's saying the exact opposite, that we're more open to different ways of expressing our sexuality than men are. Right. I didn't really see that one coming. Did you? Well, yeah. I mean, I could have guessed that. We're a little bit uptight when it comes to that. What, men are? Yeah. See, I don't get that. Well, I mean, the whole thing about women being with other women and finding another woman beautiful. I mean, a man doesn't do that. Right. Okay. We're homophobic for the most part. Yeah.
You know, and, and only focused on, um, and, and our egos, you know, our egos are so fragile that to take a risk and, and have a thought like that, I think is too, a little bit too risky for most men. Huh. Good point.
that that was pretty cool and then um she said that raw sexual desire thrives on novelty and that's why swinging is so um i guess attractive to some people because it's the novelty of the different experiences not necessarily that you're going to have better sex with somebody else but just because it's different right you know that really can can keep your libido strong right right so i thought that was pretty cool and then the other thing i thought was cool was that it says slightly more women swingers achieve orgasm than men and i again i didn't find that surprising but see i was just when, when she says achieve orgasm, I'm not thinking, okay, yeah, I, I can have multiple orgasms in one night, you know, I don't really count them, but I know I usually have more than one if it's a good night.
Yes. So I'm not really counting that. I'm just saying at some point during the night, I have an orgasm. Yes. Well, at some time during the night, you're going to have an orgasm. You know, it might not be, you might hold back and wait till the end. I totally get that because it's a, it's for most men. Well, I'm not going to say most for some minutes of performance issue. I mean, there's a lot of pressure when you're, when there's a stranger in the room and there's two people or four people, there's a group, a lot of guys can internalize that stress and not be able to perform.
So I, I'm not surprised by that at all. I mean, unfortunately, I have the opposite problem. Slow down. Yeah, slow down there. Whoa. It's not going to take me long. Um, but no, that doesn't surprise me at all. And I, and I've heard other people and other podcasters you know talk about that as well and even um you know some podcasters will say you know i've never had this problem before until and all of a sudden i'm in this situation and the woman is beautiful and i'm looking down and and i'm having a conversation with my dick because this I'm like, this is what you've been waiting for.
What's going on here? So that, I don't know, that doesn't surprise me. Okay, so like we're swingers and we're like completely immersed in this part of society now. But what about like the general population, like our vanilla friends? Do you think our vanilla friends would think that or would be surprised by that? Yeah. I mean, because like you read in magazines or like normal magazines about how, you know, some women can never, ever have an orgasm. Right. You know, and all men want to do is have sex. Yes. So it just seems counterintuitive to me. Yes, from the outside world, I would agree. Yep.
So the other thing she said, she said tons of things. And again, if you really, if you find this stuff intriguing, her, her lecture notes were fantastic. Just tons and tons of data. And you know, I'm a data person, so I thought it was very cool. But anyway, she said swingers are happier in life and in marriage, both individually and as a couple more so than the general population. Right. So, you know, not only as a couple are you happier, but it makes you happier individually. Yes. So I thought that was pretty cool. Right. The older swinger, so she gathered data on... Are you talking to me?
Not yet, but we're not far away. Okay. So she kind of segregated the data between 55 and up and then under 55. We're way under 55. You keep dreaming, honey. We are, but we can see. Sorry, go ahead. So yeah, nevermind. So anyway, the older adults that's 55 and up were happier and healthier than the general population. Yes.
And I don't find that surprising because if you're swinging um you know most swingers i think really want to take care of themselves not that we all need to look like barbie dolls and ken dolls but you know we we need to be healthy because i mean let's face it you know if you're not um at least somewhat fit it really i think it affects your sexual performance your stamina right exactly you know Your mobility you're not, um, at least somewhat fit, it really, I think it affects your sexual performance, your stamina, your mobility, your flexibility, and all of those things really enhance your sexual experience.
So I think swingers might be a little bit more motivated to, to stay a little bit, you know, maybe not as like skinny, but healthy. yes. Healthy. Yep, I get that. Consensually non-monogamous people practice safe sex much more consistently than the monogamous cheaters. That's right. That's amazing. I know. But it makes sense. It does make sense because we're eyes wide open going into this. And the monogamous cheaters just get drunk at a bar and go fuck somebody and they don't even know the person's name and then go home and tell their wife that they had a business meeting.
I like it when you say that word. I know you do. So anyway, responsible promiscuity versus imperfect monogamy. That's what she kept comparing. Responsible promisc imperfect monogamy. Cause she said, really, we're not designed to be monogamous. Um, I kind of agree with that, but I disagree with it. You know, as far as monogamous goes, I think there's two types of monogamy. There's like the physical sexual monogamyamy, but then I think there's the emotional monogamy. I think I'm very wired to be emotionally monogamous. Yes, that's a good answer.
Yeah, I mean, and I'm not just saying that because I'm sitting here staring at the love of my life. I mean, I think that, you know, that's what I need. I need that emotional monogamy with you. And that makes me feel comfortable, safe, confident enough to, to share myself and you with somebody else.
And, and, you know, this, this just came to mind when you were saying that, but the, the emotional part of our relationship and the feelings that I had for you, that I have for you emotionally are, you know, before there was an almost an equality, not an equality, but, but having sex with you and having an emotional relationship with you from a guy, from my point of view was, they were very similar. Now that I'm having sex with other people and you're having sex with other people, the emotional connection is elevated, and that much stronger.
Right, because I think it makes you appreciate what you have. Exactly. And so, you know, it really, when we talk about it, enhancing the relationship, that in my mind is not something that I understood to begin with. But now that we've been in this for a while, I definitely know that I am so much more in tune with you emotionally because of, of this. And maybe we have, we would have gotten there without it, but I kind of doubt it. Yeah.
Well, we wouldn't have known what we were missing right i guess but you know now i think in hindsight i think we can see how far we've come right as far as developing communication skills and just you know i look at you through a different lens now right you know because i can watch a woman look at you i mean just like that gorgeous blonde lady ship, you know, we, we're not sure if they were swingers or not.
I think they were, but you know, just the way that she was, you know, cause when she said you guys are really attractive couples, she was looking at you when she said that, you know, and I was like, you're damn right. Yeah. So the last thing I want to say about, um, the notes on this consensual non monogamy session is that she, I forget how the scale worked, but it was a scale out of nine.
And she talked about, um, monogamous people versus swinger, um, the swinger community, as far as their issues with jealousy are concerned and the monogamous community had a rating of eight out of nine so a very high rating of jealousy it's feelings of jealousy when their other you know partner i guess would be flirted with or whatever right or they didn't trust them or what whatever would would cause that jealousy where swingers only rated 5 out of 9 so I think there's just a lot more trust because I think there's more openness in a consensual non-monogamous relationship well not only that you've kissed somebody else.
You've had, you know, pretty intimate relations with other men and yet you choose me again. So, you know, over and over, it's proven to me that I have no reason to be jealous. And so if you've not experienced that, your imagination takes over. So the idea of what could possibly happen clouds your sense of reality. So I, I, I totally get that. And that's the last thing you were going to mention. Again, I just want to say that, you know, you know, please, you know, go to our webpage and look at Dr.
Zana's link because I'll, I'll put a link directly to the presentation that she did because there's so much more data and so many more interesting tidbits in this presentation that we don't have time to talk about but it was a fascinating a fascinating discussion yeah so the other thing that we want to talk about is a lot more um kind of fun yeah And that was uh cooper beckett and jv altharas had invited us to um a play party a play party later in the evening and so we really so we all we all stayed up at the hotel where the yeah the conference was being held right and so we went to the we went to dinner we went to the open bar with everyone and then we We went to one of the shows later on, which was good, and then it was past time for us to go to this play party, and so we went back to the room to get ready.
I was nervous. You were about to chicken out. I didn't want to go. I mean, at one point I said, I don't think we should go.
So we had ideas of just people having this massive orgies orgies all over the place and this stuff going on and i said i said honey we're not going to get another opportunity to do this we need to go up there and at least peek in the door and see what's going on we were invited you know we need to be you know we need to go take advantage of this and so i don't know my mind was just like running wild yeah i don't know what i thought was gonna happen up there so we did so and and i think you felt better as soon as we stepped off the elevator and you could hear all the noise coming from the end of the hallway people were talking you know it was yeah it sounded like i guess i thought i was gonna walk into like a 30 person orgy or something i don't know right and it wasn't a very it was it was an oversized hotel room but it wasn't a suite at all so so there were probably about what 30 people crammed into this room well there was a lot going on that there was a and i'm not even sure how to explain it there was a there was some a cuddle party going on a cuddle party there was a sibian there was a sibian going and the person who brought the sibian was the person who was actually the vendor you know promoting it and she had brought the sibian up and she was you know showing people how to use the sibian there was some flogging going on over on in the side and then there was some people sitting on the couch playing with sex toys.
And all of that was going on at the same time. And we kind of walked into the doorway and JV Atheros was standing there and I've, and I hadn't really got a chance to talk to him. So he and I, I really enjoyed our conversation and get to know him a little bit with ending the sexual dark age. So initially we walked in and we felt much more comfortable because there were people that were just standing around mingling, but there was also all of this stuff. Right. And there were a couple of couples there that we had had lunch with earlier that day.
And actually one of the couples we had gone to dinner with, um, so the couple from Toronto. Yeah. So that, that was fun being able to continue some conversations and get to know people better. Yeah, absolutely. Um, so anyway, while all this was going on, um, one of the reasons that we went to this and, and what we're going to talk about this in a future podcast, but not everybody there was like us.
And, and so what we, what we intentionally have to do in the lifestyle is when we're listening to podcasts and listening to other people or reading a book everybody's going to have their own kind of what they like and what they don't like and people have egos and some people are activists and some people you know we try to overlook all of that and just kind of look at the people for who they are and pull as much information as as we can out of it that's going to help our relationship so there was a young lady who came up and joined our conversation so four of us were talking we were talking with the other couple from new england new england and this this fifth person came up and she was polyamorous and she started talking about polyamory and i was just i was fascinated because i don't mr jones was kind of standing in the corner um just kind of taking it all in and i thought is he bored does he want to leave but he was just kind of studying everything and i was talking to this girl i was I mean, because I, I don't, I don't understand it.
I mean, she was very articulate. And what I really liked about this girl is that I was able to ask her questions and, and she wasn't offended. Right. She was actually very patient explaining, um, her, her motivations for being polyamorous and what she got out of it. And, and, um, right. And so at a certain point in time, once, once the other couple left and then, and I had listened to this woman talk, I said, I said, okay, I need to, I said, if it's okay with you, I got to ask you a ton of questions. I said, I've been sitting here, standing here listening to you.
and I just want you to know that I have no ill will I'm just ignorant and I don't understand polyamory and if you're willing to answer my questions I just got a ton of questions and she was like shoot you know tell me ask me the questions and really what it comes down to is the relationship that you and I have is so fulfilling and complete that it's hard for me to imagine having any sort of a relational need with another woman that I feel like I need to maintain on a regular basis. So polyamory to me is just completely foreign. I don't get it.
But she did an excellent job of explaining it to us. She said that there are different types of intimacy. Right. She said there were five different types. There was, um, sexual intimacy, emotional intimacy, um, domestic intimacy, sexual intimacy. Did I already say that one? Uh, companionship was one of them. And then like hobbies and common interests. Yeah, right. So she said she was married. Right. And her...
to say that one a companionship was one of them and then like hobbies and common interests yes right so she said she was married right and her husband was her primary we learned that your spouse does not have to be your primary partner right in a polyamorous relationship but her spouse was um her spouse could could fulfill four out of those five intimacies right um so she had two other two or three two or three two two other two others so three total so she had two other partners to help her fulfill the the needs the intimate needs that she had that her spouse wasn't fulfilling yeah it was it was a matrix it was like an equation yeah and and her primary who happens to be her husband filled out four out of five right but she also said we've also talked about the idea that at some point in the future he may not be my primary but he's still going to be my husband and yeah she was committed to being married to him forever.
Yeah, so there were a couple of things. So I learned a lot, and I appreciate her being so honest with us. She was very candid about sharing. She was very sincere, and this wasn't phony. She really believed and felt what she was feeling. A couple of things that bothered me about what she was saying is one time she said, I went and spent two or three days with my secondary partner because I just got irritated with my primary partner. And I just needed to get away. And I needed to get away.
And when you're in a marriage like ours, when that happens, well it's rough, but you don't, you don't run away, you know, you, you work through it. And I think that's what we've done over the years. And the other thing is if I only check off three out of the five boxes or four out of the five boxes over a period of time, you know, we work on that fifth box so that, so that I become a little bit better at meeting your needs. And once I understand what your needs are and I care about you the way that I do, I want to learn how to check that box.
And so the type of relationship that we have, even though she did a good job of understanding it, it just, it just kind of, it was a, it was kind of a cop-out in a way for me that that well maybe not cop-out's not the right word but you know she uses polyamory as a way to fulfill herself without you know a lot of hard work but on the other hand I said managing all this has just got to be emotionally draining and she said oh my gosh it's terrible so so again i don't i mean i don't i just can't imagine that i mean i enjoyed the conversation and i learned a lot but but i just still can't understand because we're not wired that we're not wired that right right i mean she that's how she was wired i mean she fully believed everything she was saying right and and you're right she i felt like and i did say to her at one point i said you know maybe the advantage that that um we had you know talking about you and I had is that we got married so young so that we were able to grow up together, so to speak, getting married in your early twenties.
And as we noticed that we had these needs for certain types of intimacy in our lives, we had to work together to fill those gaps in and meet those needs for each other. And I think that was maybe, maybe it was easier for us to do because we were so young when we got married, we were still kind of forming our own identities. So we were able to take our identities and mesh them together as we grew up and, you know, into mature adults. And, you know, maybe, maybe that's the difference.
and i tried to explain that to her and and again she respected what i had to say as well right um i didn't want to say well if you find the right guy your your right guy is going to meet all five needs but actually that's actually kind of how i feel i don't know yeah well i mean but i'm not polyamorous we've been at it for a while though yeah so we're going to wrap this up but if you have a chance check out the catalyst con website then check out the notes from dr zana that we'll have on our website i think you'll find them um very interesting and also you can check out uh the ending the sexual dark age podcast that they did from there on the private gym and that was really interesting like that was a cool guy yeah yeah so both of those podcasts um i thought were very very well done so we'll be right back okay so our snapshots for this month um man we got so much to choose from it was uh it was kind of hard to pick, but I guesshots for this month.
Man, we got so much to choose from. It was kind of hard to pick. But I guess I'll go first. So back to the house party and back to the guest bedroom with our awesome first six-some. Yes. Oh, it was so awesome. I still can't. Six-some is the new four-some. Six-some is definitely the new four-some. Wow. I thought I would be be really intimidated and overwhelmed. Hey, I wonder what eight would be like. I don't know. We'll have to try it. Sorry. Don't get carried away. So when does it become an orgy? Let's not have that discussion. It doesn't matter. Six was amazing. Seven, eight.
That could be some listener feedback. When does it become an orgy? No. Let us know. No. It doesn't matter. It's just awesomeness, no matter. Yes, it is. The numbers don't matter. Just like size doesn't matter, right? Quality versus quantity. Allegedly. Yeah. Right. Okay, so my snapshot. So it was an awesome system, but like we told you, the, um, the couple that we met that night, you know, they ended up going their own way, um, towards the end of our little play party. They, they kind of drifted off.
I don't know if they had to go home or if they went into another bedroom to have some little more privacy or I don't know, but it ended up just being the couple that we've been friends with for a while and us in the bed. And, um, we were not really a huge hurry to, to accomplish anything. We were just kind of talking and joking around and playing and switching around. And it was kind of really relaxed at that point in time. And neither you or the other gentleman had finished yet, right? Right. Yeah. So we just kind of like flat out took a break. Right.
And the other lady said, I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back. So it was just the four of us. And she just gets up and leaves. And both of y'all were just kind of like still ready to go. And I'm looking around and I'm thinking, this is awesome. So I'm like, what's a girl to do?
have two guys that you know need some attention so i had one in each hand and i was just kind of like keeping you all up to to speed i didn't want you guys to have to like start all over again you were fluffing us i was yeah i was the fluffer all by my little self yeah it was awesome the other gentleman is just as handsome as mr j Jones. So I had these two incredibly handsome men in a bed with just little old me. Yeah. So, yeah, that was an amazing snapshot. So that's good. So that means you're like drifting towards that male, male, female, male, female.
You know, actually that thought went through my mind when i was in the bed with you two it was um oh yeah that thought a revelation yeah do tell i didn't know this okay go on this darn microphone gets me in trouble no i don't know i just it well and, well, and yeah, it was interesting. You've definitely planted a seed, let's say. Okay. So then you were, you were playing, you had one of us in each hand. What would have happened next, Mrs. Jones? Well, yeah. So she did come back from the bathroom. No.
In your fantasy, when you were thinking about the male, female, male, what would have happened next? Gosh, I don't know. There were just so many opportunities. Thank you. did come back from the bathroom. No. In your fantasy, when you were thinking about the male, female, male, what would have happened next? Gosh, I don't know. There were just so many opportunities. I don't know. Good. Yeah. Excellent. I learned something. I'm getting a little bit uncomfortable. I forgot my, my snapshot. So, um, are you done? Uh, yes, I'm done.
Okay okay uh uh anyway mine is is not sexy at all i'm sorry there were several sexy snapshots i could have come up with but you're the one that came up with this idea about a snapshot and i can't get this image out of my head i can can't either actually. So I have to share this as my snapshot. So people just behave in a weird way. Okay. At this dinner party, there are 20 couples. There are people, most people for the most part, and we described the middle level of the house is where the drinks and the food was.
Most people on level would have clothes on or you know i'll tell you the sexiest outfit i saw in a woman was a woman came downstairs with her husband's button-down shirt on yeah nothing else i mean that was perfect yeah um and then there was another lady that was walking around with just a garter on and and nothing else but you know ladies can get away with away with that. This is what... So there was a room, the dining room. The dining room. I mean, they had a huge dining room table and it was full of food. It was full of food. At 2 o'clock in the morning, that food is tasty.
Everybody except for one person had clothes on and this man who didn't have clothes on and he was rather hairy to begin with and I see this guy I can't get the image out of my mind he's hairy and he's staring at me because I made eye contact with him like what are you doing and and he he was just like you know he didn't say this but was like I'm naked and I can be naked in this house And you can be naked in that house, but there's food on the table. Keep your dick away from the devil and eggs. And he had already been upstairs, so it was a used dick.
I don't know what might have been dripping off of it. Oh, gosh. But I mean, I couldn't, I lost my appetite. Now I'm like gagging. I know, I know.
So, and again, you need to, I think you need to take take now we're not experienced in this this was our second house you got to take your cue from the host and the hostess and they she had a beautiful robe on that was thigh high she looked beautiful still very very sexy and the guy had shorts on and a t-shirt okay i mean you mean, you know, whatever, but they had clothes on and there's one guy who's leaning over the food with no clothes and I just lost my appetite. So I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that that's my snapshot, but it was just, I can't get that image out of my mind and now I'm passing it on to the rest of you so that you have to share my burden so um those were those were our snapshots for this uh for episode eight wow i'll make mr jones come up with a sexy one for next month no you need to give me the opportunity and you did you did this guy was i mean that i just could not help but to mention that. That's just. I mean, you just saw three women having sex together and you have to pick the dick on the deviled eggs. I was swinging over the deviled eggs, yeah.
Oh, man. Okay. So anyway, we're going to, we're going to, we're getting ready to close out here. The last thing that we want to talk about is lately we've been sharing feedback from questions that we've been getting from listeners. And one of the things that we want to talk about now is we listen to the Curious Couple podcast, and we would recommend it if you don't listen to them. Love that podcast.
So their names are T and a and in in one of their episodes recently a had mentioned i wonder and they were talking about our podcast and i'm assuming that she was referring to us when she asked this question but um but here just take a listen to her ask this question but what if say two and a half years ago i wake up and I'm like, this isn't for me. I made a mistake. Yeah. We were like, oh, wait, this is, you know, if either one of us gets wigged out, we'll pull the plug and we're both okay with it. Okay. Yeah. Well, and that's, that's a, I mean, for, for me, that was a concern.
I wonder if it's, I'm sure it is the same concern for some of these couples that have been married for 30 years before they get into it. Do they think that? Do they think – because to me it was like, well, what if I did – and I never really got close to that, but the thought crossed my mind. What if I decided this wasn't for me? Would he leave me? So, Mrs. Jones, could we pull the you, could we pull the plug, uh, and disengage from the lifestyle and be happy? Yes. That's, that's so easy to answer. Yes. Because we were happy before we ended the lifestyle. Right.
Nothing was missing in our relationship. Right. Um, so if for whatever reason we would decide that this wasn't for us anymore i think we would be fine um we would have lots to look back on and laugh about and and some sexy times to fantasize about and reflect back on but i think that we would be fine moving forward i don't think that um and i think would be, I think we're connected enough that we would be able to make that decision mutually. Just like we don't take one for the team. I mean, we've run into that before and there's been no hard feelings.
So I think this would be the exact same thing if one of us said, I don't think we should do this, for whatever reason, if there was something going on with our family or maybe a health issue or whatever it would be, I think we have enough going on in our life outside of this that we could still have fun like the vanilla cruise. I know you really kind of maybe wanted to mess around with that couple from Long Island a little bit more than we did. But we had so much fun with them.
And, yeah, we did tell them some sexy stories about desire and, you know, being clothing optional and that kind of stuff. But, you know, we never even really entertained the idea of trying to play with them or whatever. And we had an incredibly wonderful time. Yes. So you say yes. And he, you know, you all have heard Mr. Jones complain about the stupid Vanilla Cruise, right? He was the one that wanted to go down to the future cruise desk and book the next cruise for next spring break while we were on the ship. That was his idea.
So when him bitch about this vanilla cruise this time next year just go poo right so what do you think well you know i'm gonna be a little bit wishy-washy on this i think if you have to get out like you said if there's a health reason or if there's um a jealousy issue something like that yes you know we could get out and we can continue to live I have no doubt about that well not live but live and be happy and be happy right fulfilled yes yes I agree with you but here's the thing that I've that I've, especially on this vanilla cruise.
When that tall blonde and her husband came up to us and said, what an attractive couple we are. We're different. We are different now. We carry ourselves differently. We, we, that's never happened in 30 years of marriage. We've been on a lot of cruises. That has never happened to us.
You're're right so we are much more comfortable we're much more confident as a couple I don't know that we would ever get out of the lifestyle if we choose if we chose to like let's get rid of our Cassidy profile and our SLS profile not going to house parties or whatever I still think if we we send out this vibe now that we are so comfortable with ourselves that other people pick up on that and, and would engage with us. And we're probably always going to be in the lifestyle from a certain aspect. So I think the lifestyle has changed us.
It's, it's made us individually more confident and outgoing and as a couple. And I think that attractiveness comes through to other people. So whether we choose to get in and out of it, I think other people are going to see that in us and be attracted to that. And it'll always be a part of, of who we are, but could we get out, um, and be happy? Absolutely.
And, you know, I have to say, I mean, there, there's a podcast that we listened to and, and the long and short of it is he's, he tells his wife that, yes, um, we could get out of this, but you'd have to live with somebody who's just not going to be as happy as he could be for the rest of his life. You know, and I think that's sad. That's so kind of unhealthy. Um, and so it's unbalanced. It's exactly. So yes, we, we could, we could choose to get out of that. Fortunately, we're having a blast and we don't want to do that.
Um, but, but I've seen so much of a change in myself and it's not just when it's not just the weekend and it's just not just at house parties it's it's every day during the week it's at work it's in social events and vanilla events i've i find myself making eye contact with women and appreciating women and talking with them more and so that part of the lifestyle is a part of me now and and it will always be so um that's how i'm going to choose to answer that question good answer honey Here we go. And so that part of the lifestyle is a part of me now and, and it will always be.
So, um, that's how I'm going to choose to answer that question. Good answer, honey. Okay. So having said that we would, first of all, we, we are getting some, um, just the feedback that we're getting from you all is amazing, especially the people who are just discovering us. And we certainly appreciate that.
So we're going to ask you we're going to put it out there you know what do you think do you think you could just pull the plug on on the lifestyle and and would you be happy or have you done that and maybe you're sitting on the sidelines now and you're just listening to podcasts um you know let us know if you've done that and how it's worked and um we'll look at that feedback and we'll share it on the next episode with your permission so um you know keep the feedback coming we want to hear what you have to say about that so shout outs um i've got a couple i we've got a few more reviews on itunes and i just want to thank everyone for taking the time to do that that's's, you know, I'm not going to beg.
We're not going to, we're not that type of people, but if you feel led to, um, you know, leave us a review on iTunes, we, we certainly appreciate that. Um, um, and I know that you wanted to throw out a, so, so, you know, you know, y'all know that we went to naughty new Orleans last summer and we went as part of the Swinger Cast group who, again, awesome, awesome podcast. They're, they're, they had taken a little bit of time off, but now they're back up and running and John and Allie are putting out podcasts on a regular basis again.
So they just recently put out a podcast on their trip to Naughty New Orleans last summer. And we told you all about the, the amazing playrooms on the third floor and how well done this whole event was. And they were, you really need to go and listen to this podcast. They're Notting New Orleans podcast. It's just been recently put out and they do such a good job of telling the story of the last night in the playroom about the, this couple that they played with and just what a, an amazing experience it was. And they knew we were on the bed next to them with another couple.
And, um, so that was kind of cool knowing that, um, you know, they were, had friends on the bed next to them.
We didn't end up playing with them, but just kind of just that intimate, intimate you know closeness of being on the same bed well they there was a couple in the same room i think there were like five beds in that room there were two couples so there were two couples on one bed and kind of the middle of the room next to they were really young john and ally well the girls were young oh yeah the guys were not girls might have been on the payroll yeah maybe so they were talking about glittery fingernail polish at one point and then in john john and ali's on their podcast they were talking about they were reflecting back and they said they remembered them talking about something about war and they couldn't remember what it was but it had to do with war well i said i'm listening to this podcast first of all on the airplane on the way to Miami for our cruise a couple weeks ago.
So I am giggling out loud.
I'm one of those obnoxious people with the headphones on and I'm laughing out loud on the airplane, listening to him recount the story of these doofy girls talking loudly about glittery fingernail polish and war on on their podcast so i'm like i wanted to yell out they were talking about russian tanks they were talking about russian tanks because that's what they were talking about why the hell they were talking about russian tanks after they finished fucking in a playroom at two o'clock in the morning i have no idea but that's what they were talking about John did a good job of describing that.
And when we talked about Naughty New Orleans, we didn't mention that it was Allie and John that were on the bed next to us. So anyway, if you put our podcast story about Naughty New Orleans together with theirs, that gives you a complete picture of what it was. And I tweeted to him that it was Russian tanks. And he said, tanks a lot, you know, for that.
that so anyway that yeah take a listen to that um so um the other thing i wanted to mention before we go is is uh we had a little bit of a technical difficulty with our website and it was frustrating for me because it happened when we went on our cruise and i didn't have connectivity to get back in and try to diagnose things and fix it but he was stressing let me tell you he was stressing I was so stressed out because I do I mean I take pride in all of that and and thank you to the listeners who sent me comments on our website and more importantly emails to tell me iTunes wasn't loading uh episode seven and based on the feedback that I got when I got back home, I realized I had blamed it on iTunes and it wasn't iTunes.
It was my fault. I had the long and short of it as one of the parts of our website plugins had updated and it turned itself off and I didn't turn it back on. But anyway, that's not important. The important thing is I got home and I realized what I had done and I fixed it. Um, so anyway, I apologize for that, but thank you. And if, if any of you ever notice anything that doesn't look right or needs to be corrected or is not working, please send me an email to, you know, we got a thing at gmail.com because I am the only two eyes, you know, I don't have a technical staff.
So if something's not working right for you, please, please let me know. And I'll, and I'll look at it right away and try to get it fixed. Um, so it was a little bit stressful for me because we realized that the day we left on our cruise and I only had an iPad and we had no connectivity basically the whole week. And I was so upset because I couldn't go in to figure out what was wrong. Yep. So anyway, thank you for being patient while we get that fixed. And I think it looks like everything is up and running now because the downloads started back up again. And I wanted to apologize for that.
But anyway, we told he's a real podcaster now because he's had technical difficulties. That's right. That's right. I do feel that way. We, I, you know, we told you this was going to be a long episode and, and, uh, we, we will try not to make them this long in the future, but we had just had so much happen in the past month and, uh, so much to talk about. And we wanted to, we felt it important to get it all out there. So thank you for being patient with us and bearing with us. So if you want to contact us, um, the best way is through email at we got a thing at gmail.com.
Um, our website is we got a thing.com. Um, and I, and I threw out a challenge last month for those of, for some of you to join Twitter and, and some of you did. And we, so if you want to really keep up and converse with us on a daily basis or a weekly basis, um, you can follow WeGottaThing. And Twitter, I feel so much more comfortable with Twitter than I do with Facebook. I don't trust Facebook and some of the privacy settings. They seem to change them at will.
But anyway, if you're not Twitter savvy, set up a private, a personal account, and it's easy to stay anonymous and just follow us at We Got a Thing. So that's how you can contact us. Did I miss anything, Mrs. Jones? I think we have said plenty this time. Yeah, I think so too. So we will be back at the end of May. We've got a couple of things coming up. We have a private party. We do. Yeah, pretty exciting. It's kind of an upscale. It's a very upscale party in May that we're going to be able to podcast about at the end of May.
And we've got a Myrtle Beach trip coming up and a couple of dates between now and then. So I think we'll have enough to talk about when we get to episode nine. So thanks for listening. And we are Mr and mrs jones and we got a thing what's your thing And he's standing at the table Leaning over And his dick is swinging back over the deviled eggs and and i can't i i for the life of me i can't i just lose my appetite
