Episode 77: I Never Imagined I Would Ever...

Transcript

This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-pos positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us? Hello, everyone. I'm Mr. Jones. And I'm Mrs. Jones.

hello everyone i'm mr jones and i'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 77 of the we got a thing podcast you're stepping on my toes oh sorry i didn't know those were your toes i've been sitting at this table for a long time we need a bigger table this hour this ikea desk is worn out it's welcome we finally outgrown our ikea desk i think we got this for one of our girls when they were like in middle school yes it's old yeah so we've got a few announcements before we get going tonight what are we going to talk about what's the title oh the title is, it's kind of a game.

Oh, I never imagined I would ever. So it's kind of, is that like a spinoff of never have I ever? Yeah. This is like the opposite of never have I ever. Never have I thought I would ever. Right. But maybe I did. We've done a few semi-serious podcasts in a row. I think menopause was kind of serious. And we got some feedback that we needed to lighten it up. Well, I think just the whole, the whole pandemic thing has, has us all down. And, and, you know, we, we focus on our health, which was extremely important. And it's at the forefront of everybody's mind.

Um, and then we talked about kind of getting our groove back on with by acknowledging all of our various aspects of ourselves so now we're just going to kind of like reflect on the crazy journey we've been on for the past six years and and then also the journeys of some of our listeners who have given us some input yep more on that in just a moment yeah a lot more on that thanks for the teaser that's right so we have actually like begun living life again a little bit imagine that i know so keeping up with the jones has actually had with you there's actually something to keep up on yeah Yeah.

And we got some things coming up too. Hopefully, um, we don't jinx it. Yeah. We're supposed to be going to the desire pearl next month. We're not in just a couple of weeks. Um, we did have to shift our dates a little bit because of a family obligation that changed because of coronavirus. So we're going to go August the 9th through the 15th now. So we had to shift it back about three or four days. But as long as we, we have another week or so to back out if we decide to back out. But yes, I think we have exactly a week. Yeah. But as of now, we're still planning on going. I'm not going to lie.

I'm nervous. Yeah, I know. I might hide in my room the whole time. Yeah. Well, I mean, let's go ahead and talk about that because. You know what I need to do? What? Is I need to take one of my face masks and like put like black lace over top of it. To make a sexy. Face mask. Yeah. Yeah. I'd be down with that. I mean, you can't make a sheer because that kind of defeats the purpose, but I could at least like overlay it with a black lace. So I could be naked with a black lace mask. Would that work for you? Yeah. Like black high heels.

Like I would, I would like coordinate my heels with my face mask. Yes. All right. That'd be okay. All right. I might have to work on that. Yeah. Maybe I'm onto something. Maybe you are. I know. Or we could just do it doggy style and you're breathing the other direction.

Oh, i could wear whatever crappy mask i'm gonna wear that's right well if we haven't given it to each other yet it ain't gonna happen um we and speaking of trips i mean we're still hoping that podcastapalooza takes place in october but that's questionable too yep i i think the whole world is questionable right now right so i think you just kind of have to take it like a week at a time and just keep adjusting and adjusting. Right. And, and reassessing because, you know, everybody's comfort level changes, hotspots change throughout the country. Right.

And, and we have a, still have our planned trip at Desire in November, which is still sold out. We have a waiting list, but we anticipate some people would cancel there. And again, right. So if you're interested, I think it's going to be like a day by day thing. And I think like calling might be the best bet when there's cancellation. Sometimes the website doesn't really reflect the true availability. Well, if you're interested in going and we're sold out, send me an email, Mr.

Jones at we got a thing.com and I'll help you yeah give you the information that you need to get signed up um as people as people cancel and again that's a few months away we're hoping for the best but we'll see what things look like in september and october well that's why we're doing our trip in august because honestly i i'm i'm nervous about going in august i'm not sure, how full of an experience we're going to get. So let's, let's talk about that because, you know, there's been desire has been open for a couple of months now.

Um, at least RM has, uh, yeah, sometime in June, Pearl opened in July. Right. And there's, you know, been some reports of people who have come back with a virus. And as a matter of fact, Richard and Lauren, who do the Room 77 podcast. And the Art of Touch Massage at Desire. Right. Have indicated recently that they self-quarantined. And so they got sick. So they self-quarantined, um, and so they, they, uh, got sick. So they self-quarantined, they stayed at home.

And during that period of time, um, somebody that was a guest, um, kind of accused them of being the ones that passed the virus to them. Um, so they're in a bit of a state of a flux right now. But I think the point that I want to make here, that we want to make, is that as you're starting to venture back out, and we're going to talk about a couple of weekend trips that we've taken recently, it's a different world. And when we decide to venture out, it's our responsibility to take care of ourselves. And if we come home from a trip and we're sick, there's really nobody else to blame but us.

Absolutely. I am not going to try to pin it on somebody that was at Desire. Obviously, somebody there was sick. Well, okay. And we got it from them.

But we chose to put ourselves in a a position or we're choosing to put ourselves in a position where it's not always feasible to be socially distant from people and then you know if you engage in sexy play you're taking a risk but before that but we know that before we even get on the airplane to go there yeah but before that you don't know you're going through an airport you're going through tsa yes screening you're standing in line to go through security I don't know.

But before that, you're going through an airport, you're going through TSA screening, you're standing in line to go through security, you're sitting next to people at the gate, you're boarding the plane with other people, you're sitting on a plane for at least a couple of hours, probably more, with people. Some of you are connecting flights and having to do all that again. Then you land and you do the opposite and then you get in transportation and then you go to the resort and then you do the same thing coming home.

So it's irresponsible to say that if you get sick during a trip, you don't know where you picked it up. It could have been anywhere along that line. So to suggest not even necessarily at the resort itself. Yeah. Well, I think, I think that where we feel bad for Richard and Lauren is that somebody has suggested that, that she thinks that they're the ones that got her sick. It was them specifically. Yeah. And that's, that's not fair at all. Um, and to their credit, you know, they handled it with integrity and with honesty and they said, Hey, um, we're not feeling well. We're self-quarantining.

We're not coming back to desire until, you know, this has passed and we get checked. Um, desire has not given them any information about when or if they're coming back. Um, and then they've, you mean when they're, their massage classes are going to reach out. Right. they are they right which is an absolute shame yeah so you know we have a responsibility to as as we decide to go you know we're going to our trips have been different so when we go like like we just went to the beach for a week but But it wasn't our normal beach trip, right? No, we did not go bar hopping.

Well, we kind of did one night, but it was outside. No, we didn't get to go to all of our favorite restaurants. We didn't do the bar hopping thing. We kind of stuck to ourselves.

Luckily, we had a condo with a full kitchen, and we were able to cook in and just enjoy the beach yeah and each other a lot yeah yeah we'll get to that but but no it was very different and we made a deliberate choice even though it was frustrating because you know we were like there at you know like our very favorite place is this place called Myrtle's Inlet in Myrtle Beach and it's just this string of restaurants and tiki bars right on the water. And it's amazing. And we didn't even go there. Right. Well, that's my point. On the way down, we ordered a pickup grocery order.

We got to the grocery store and popped the hatch and they loaded our cars with our groceries. We went to our condo up on the 19th floor it had a full kitchen and we and we went to the beach that you know the beach you can socially distance it sometimes i think the media misrepresents how crowded the beach is i totally figured that out once we got there because like when you when you're watching the news and they're talking about the beach is being like crowded and people not socially distancing, it's not really true because when I would look up the beach, I'd be like, holy smokes.

But then I would look around me and I think the closest family to us would be like, what, 15 or 20 feet away? Yeah. So you're outside, you're able to control the distance.

We felt completely comfortable on the beach without a mask um the wind is blowing in you're you're far away from people you know we never felt the only time i think we felt a little bit uncomfortable is when we got on the elevator and people would get on the elevator without a mask yeah and that happened quite a few times down there um you know and we didn't go to bars we didn't we went out to a restaurant once and we tried we got an outdoor I don't know. quite a few times down there. Um, you know, and we didn't go to bars.

We didn't, we went out to a restaurant once and we tried to, we got an outdoor table. Um, and we, we actually had dinner with a couple of listeners that night. So, and we enjoyed the evening and that was the only night, right? That was the only night we went out. Yeah.

Yeah out yeah yeah um then i mean this state is a a hot spot and we're watching these people act like nothing is wrong like nothing that doesn't exist and no greater example can i think about behind the resort behind the uh condo we were in they had a bar like on the walkway from the the tower like we were in like a 22-story tower so between there and the actual sand the walkway had this like beach bar off of it and it had a pavilion roof on it you've been waiting to tell this story for weeks it was it was outdoor but it had a pavilion roof on it and they did table.

We chose a table that was off into the corner and not near anybody else. And actually, like the bar, because they didn't have table service at night. The bar itself, they had plexiglass up between you and the bartender. Because I was a little worried about you going up there and ordering drinks. And you were like, they have plexiglass. Yeah, there's plexiglass up so so i went up and got a couple drinks anyway they're doing corona karaoke and it's you know we all know how this spreads right and we know singing and yelling in close proximity with others is a way that it's going to spread. Right.

This DJ had a handheld wireless microphone that he was literally passing from one person and they would hold it and they would sing into it and they would hand it to him. Some of them were actually touching their face with the microphone. Yes. Yeah. So there's no doubt in my mind that several people that touched that microphone probably got sick. Oh, my goodness. But, I mean, you have to use some common sense. And it was so sad. It was funny just to watch. First of all, Mr. Jones is ridiculous to go to karaoke with because he's a music snob. Yeah. And he makes fun of everybody.

You don't get up there and sing sing and you can actually sing. You don't get up there and sing. You just like to sit back in the corner, which we were doing, and just make fun of everybody. You're so bad. Yeah, but this added another layer. Oh, I know it did. I know it did. Not only were they horrible singers. We both got pretty drunk that night. We did. It was really entertaining.

It was just a train wreck you couldn't stop watching and then i mean then we watched people that like they had a grill out back behind this uh condo and they were just there was like three or four big groups of people out there and they were playing cornhole and they were cooking their burgers and you know then they offered us some and uh you know so there was things normally in normal world it would have been fantastic yes we would have been right in the thick of it would have been right there but we carried our steaks around front where they had different grills and grilled our stuff and then carried it back up to the room which reminds me so we had friends come up and visit us for an afternoon and evening too we did and that was a fun.

But again, these were friends that we know and that we had actually, we were supposed to have gotten together with them earlier in the year. They were supposed to come up our way. And we postponed that. And it was like in April. Yeah. And, you know, as soon as everything went all wonky in March, they were like, I think we're going to be rescheduling.

But in talking with them before we knew that they were doing the same things regarding their health that we were doing right so we felt comfortable with them because we met them before and we're friends with them right so they came up like um they got to our condo like early afternoon and I was already out on the beach and I think you were back at the condo on a work call or something so you were waiting for them and and you brought them down the beach and don't you remember how weird it was like to hug them yeah yeah i'm like oh i haven't hugged anybody except my very immediate family in like three months and now i'm hugging you and you can't even enjoy it it was weird you can't even enjoy it like is this okay to do i said yeah if things are headed in the direction we hope you're gonna have to at least hug yes um but anyway we the four of us had you know dinner in our condo yeah and didn't didn't go to a restaurant didn't wander out and hey you grilled them some steaks honey yeah.

Yeah, and we were working. I mean, I worked a lot during the week, so you would go down to the beach. I mean, you were working too, but you were a little bit less, your schedule was more open. Well, my work is just work. You have phone calls and web Xs and all that stuff. But it was still good to get away from home, to get away from, you know, we have family living with us temporarily. So it was a great escape for you and I to connect. Is six months temporary? Yeah. It doesn't feel temporary. Well, we know that there's an end in sight because we have a lease agreement that's been tonight.

But anyway, then our dilemma was we were coming home and we were celebrating um something a big family event and my parents were going to be there so you know we went and got tested fortunately our our county was doing some testing yeah and we were able to go through then and have the stuff jammed up our noses to get tested. Yeah, so we got through a test. And actually, I'm super, super impressed with our regional health department. Yeah. Like, that was just like clockwork. Yeah. We drove right up, didn't have to wait. There were two physicians working the line.

And, like, one came to my window in the passenger side and one came to yours and right you know they said don't fight me and and actually they had us hold our heads up against like the headrest on the seat and that actually made it easier so that when they jammed it into the back of your brain yeah like you had nowhere to go like your head was trapped right and it was good 48 hours later we were both negative thank goodness so i think we we managed it the best that we could that was lesson number one lesson number two we purposely made it a different type of vacation than normal and we set our expectations to meet that right so we weren't frustrated or disappointed right yeah and number three you know we tested got tested when we got home and we were.

So that gives us confidence that it's not all doom and gloom. You can go out like we did and take precautions and plan your trip and have a good time. So whether it's the beach or then we, um, we went out to dinner with some good friends locally. Yes, and that was so much fun. Yeah, and got an outdoor table at a restaurant, and there was no play. It was reconnecting with great friends. No, we don't live super close to each other, so we met halfway for dinner. So they kind of left us in limbo, but it's just so good to start seeing humans again.

Yeah, and we enjoyed that evening, made it through still alive. Uh, then we just, this past weekend, we went away for the weekend. We actually went to an airport, got on a plane and, and went, went away for the weekend and flew home, um, and are still healthy a week later. But, you know, again, these are friends that we know and that we trust. Um, we stayed in their home. They've been laying low the past four months as well. Yeah. We, we ate, we, we went out to, we went out twice.

We went out for appetizers one afternoon, um, and to a restaurant that had social distancing and we wore masks until we sat at the table. But mostly we ordered pizza in. He made us dinner one night. Yeah, we did go to a winery. We went to a winery. They had a beautiful outdoor venue. They had live music. And the wine tastings were different. That was weird.

Yeah weird yeah um you just got like a little cardboard box with four plastic glasses right of four wines and then there was a little paper underneath explaining which wine was which but right so they weren't doing in person in person tastings which was different but it was better than nothing i'm telling you what it was exciting to get back out to a winery like our winery here in in virginia they're not doing tastings right you can only buy glasses yeah we did and then we played a lot of cornhole and oh we did go to a brunch we did play cornhole yeah a brunch that was fun so and of course we had lots of sexy fun with them you know So it was a great weekend.

Yeah, sexy fun is putting it mildly. Yeah. Sexy fun is putting it mildly. Yeah. Yeah. Two nights like this Corona virus pent up frustration of not being able to live the typical life. Um, yeah. You just take it out on people when you get to interact with them finally. Yes. And I think they were doing the same thing. Like the first night we, we didn't even talk about it. We just did it. We tried to play the dumb card game. I think, was that the first night? Yeah, that was the first night.

No, no, we were all, we were all standing downstairs and I walked up behind her and I put my arms around her and she said, I think we should just go upstairs. There was, it was a pretty quick transition. And I think the four of us really had a lot to get out of our systems. Yes. So it was a lot of, it was a frenzy, but it was a lot of fun. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, we made it home from that and we're still well. So, you know, we're starting to get back out. And again, if we would have come home and been sick, we would not have blamed anybody.

So, you know, if you're going to go out, you're accepting the level of risk. If you don't want to get sick, if you don't want to risk it, you got to stay home. You can't have it both ways. You can't go out and then get sick and then blame other people for getting sick. Right. At the end of the day, you have to say, well, I guess I shouldn't have done that. Yeah. You can't start pointing fingers, which is just, it's immature and it's just not accepting responsibility for your own actions. Yeah, yeah. So if you're familiar with Richard and Lauren, reach out to them.

And fortunately, a lot of people have. and i feel i think they feel like they're getting some support and it's just hard for me to imagine a desire trip without them there because their workshop is so amazing and it's very sensual and it's very heartfelt and they put themselves into it and they're not desire employees you know they do this for free they don't tell a lot of people that but can tell people that. Yes. You know, they work for tips, you know, and so many couples, you know, say, you know, that experience was just transformational, right?

You know, they, they learn so many things about their partner and themselves. And, and especially if you're new to the lifestyle, it, you know, you don't interact with other couples in that, but you're right next to other couples having these amazing experiences right it's so sensual yeah well hopefully desire will do the right thing um and we know we've been doing business with desire for a few years too it's frustrating and they definitely have a different mindset well you you learn it's a different culture it's a different just, it's just different.

And, um, I think it can be very frustrating for Americans because we approach things, you know, differently as you business people. Yeah. So Richard and Lauren hang in there. We hope that when we come down next month, we'll see you. Yes.

Uh, but anyway, that, that pretty much brings you up to date with what's been going on with us and i'm just so proud of the fact that we have something to talk about that we actually did this past month i'm relieved yeah i feel like i'm not gonna lose my mind after all but you know the bigger picture is the united states is not out of the woods far from it no it's a hot mess yeah so so as you re-engage with life just be safe um you know be smart about it don't take anything for granted yeah don't go to either extreme i mean you can't go out and pretend like it's not real but then again you can't stay in your basement and live the rest of your life there we've got to learn how to manage this and and we've got to learn how to re-engage.

Yep. So best of luck to you all. I'm doing that. So when we come back, we'll explain a little bit more about this little game that we're going to play tonight. I play the game. I never imagined. You thought all games were dumb. Yeah. Well, hopefully this one isn't, but I agree. Let's tell them we Most of them are dumb. Okay. We'll be right back.

welcome back to segment two i never imagined i would ever dot yeah yeah we when we first if you remember mrs jones when you and i first started talking about trying this lifestyle it seemed pretty daggone crazy no yeah i mean like years, you would say, someday when we have a threesome, and I would just giggle in my mind. I'm like, he is absolutely out of his mind. I mean, we thought whoever's doing this, these people are not normal. Matter of fact, they might be a little weird. Yeah. They're crazy. They're irresponsible. Blah. Yeah. I mean, I could have just gone on my high horse.

But for some reason, it still seemed compelling and a little bit exciting. But we never imagined that we'd be doing a lot of the things that we understood and heard that other people did when we listened to Lifestyle Podcast at that time? Well, yeah. I mean, I remember eating dinner, listening to podcasts, and I remember my eyes must be as big around as saucers looking across the table at you, listening to the crazy shenanigans on these lifestyle podcasts that we would listen to. And I'm like, there is no way in hell I'm ever going to do anything like that. Yeah.

You know, so having, I think the idea of sex, like having sex with other people, that overly influenced our perception of what the lifestyle really had to offer. And I think that's very common. It definitely is for people who are non-lifestyle and you talk to them about it. That this idea of sex with other people just, it's in the forefront and it clouds everything. Well, it's the only thing you think of. Because it's the only thing you know of. Right. When you don't really, when you've never experienced the environment before. Right. Yeah.

Some of the things we said that we heard about, we said, we'll never do that. Some things we said, we have absolutely, not only do, well, we never do that. I just don't have an interest in doing that. And, you know, we'll, we'll just leave those, that, those kinds of things for those weird people because we're normal. So we almost, and we almost let that perception scare us away from trying this. Well, right.

I, I almost canceled our first trip to desire because I found out what desire was you know well not what it's really about because desire is about a sexy vibe yeah and being a place where you can explore your own fantasies whatever they may be and sometimes those fantasies involve other people but a lot of times they don't right but you remember when we came home after we did all of that in our first trip and we thought what in the world are we doing? Like that was vacation. When our plane landed back in Normalville and we went back to real life, it was like, did that really happen?

That was vacation. You know, that was a one time thing. Maybe do we really want to do this? And are we really those kind of people? You know, so there was a lot to noodle through. No kidding.

So tonight what we're going to do is we are we really those kind of people you know so yeah there was a lot to noodle through no kidding so tonight what we're gonna do is we're each gonna go back and forth a little bit about things that we each never imagined or never thought that we would do okay or say and then we also asked for we put this out on twitter and we also put it out in our private members community and we got quite a bit of feedback. So we're going to share what other couples have said about things that they never said that they would do. Right.

Because now, you know, y'all know, Mr.

Jones and I have been in the lifestyle for like six years now, but you know got feedback from all levels of experience i guess so it's it's interesting to hear um what people have to say whether they're at the beginning of their journey or far into their journey right so and a lot of this sounds funny now looking back like like the first thing that that i think about was i never imagined that I would be having sex with another woman because like you just said earlier my focus was on you and I'm like I want you to be with another I want to watch you with another woman or I just want so so you didn't want to watch me with another man well you know that was intriguing but I never seriously thought you would do that so but but it never oops it never entered my mind like I didn't think I want to get into the lifestyle because I want to have sex with another woman it just it didn't enter my mind right so that's one thing that I thought right I I never imagined I would ever, um, want to do it for myself.

Oh, right. That kind of fits with mine. Yeah. Yeah. Because I, you did not drag me into this by any means. Um, you were the first one to consider it a possibility. Um, when I found out what was going on at desire that we were going to end up walking into, you know, my first inclination was to retreat and you were like, no, let's, let's check it out. Let's learn more about it.

Let's see what it's like and let's just go and be flies on the wall so I agreed to that and then I but so I never so as I started like mentally putting myself in that position I was doing it uh I don't want this to come off the wrong way I wasn't doing it to please you but you were like the driving force behind like pleasing you and fulfilling your fantasy was a driving force behind my decision. I want that to be clear. It was my decision, not yours to engage in it. And then once I did it, I was like, well, that was fun. And it didn't ruin my marriage. And Mr.

Jones thinks that was pretty hot that I just did that. And wow. Right. Win-win. Right. right and it didn't ruin my marriage and mr jones thinks that was pretty hot that i just did that and wow right win-win right another thing that i never imagined was that we'd build so many friendships and this includes pants on and pants off uh friends because i didn't understand what a friendship could. So what I mean by that is we had a lot of air quote friends and friendships. A couple of them were really close, but most of them were just friends.

And we understood friendships to be people who we lived near, that were parents of our kids' friends, that we went to church with, that we lived next door to, that we worked with. And it was a friendship out of convenience and geography. And they were people that were our age. And we had a lot of things in common, like the things that we did.

and geography and they were people that were our age and we had a lot of things in common like the things that we did and we and i thought for the most part that's what how friendships were and i and now i did have a couple of really we had a couple of really close couple friends but we had cultivated those relationships over a lifetime um and and my perspective my perception was at that time that that's what true friends were. But we got into the lifestyle and started to realize we could talk to people about everything.

And if you can talk to people about sex, you can talk to them about anything. And the friendships all of a sudden were that much richer. Well, I, yes, I agree because nothing's off the table with lifestyle friends, you know, so it, it's a nice, um, it's a nice compliment to the vanilla friends you have because we have friends that you've known since elementary school. Yes. And we have friends that, I mean, our kids grew up together. We just have this really rich, wonderful history with them. Yes. And those friendships are very dear to our hearts. Yes.

But you take that and you blend it with these amazing lifestyle friendships we have, which are obviously shorter term. but there's, like you said, there's nothing that we can't talk about with them. And, um, it's just the commonality of something so, um, internal, like your sexual desires and fantasies. It's just, it's so internal.

And to just be able to take a breath and let that out and trust the people because you know they have the same types of fantasies maybe not the exact same fantasies but that same level right of this deep like crazy kinky i could never do that oh wait maybe i could do that right yeah i want to clarify something just like you did before to make sure I'm not misunderstood. We have core friends that we've had for 10 or 20 or 30 or 40 years. And I'm not, I'm not suggesting that those friends who we're still friends with are any less important than lifestyle friendships.

What I'm saying is that we have the concentric circles beyond our core friends are, are pretty much gone. And we have more close friends in the lifestyle than we had, um, you know, beyond our core friends in life. Yes. The, the friends we had on the periphery because of connections through, you know, kids sports or whatever, um, those have kind of faded away and been replaced by lifestyle friends that inner circle of, right. Of relationships that we've had for years and years, um, are still just as important as ever.

So like when you, when you get in the lifestyle, it's not you're in or you're out, you know, you, you can take various aspects of your life and you can blend them all together. Um, it's just what we never imagined with this whole little game that I can never remember the full name of, I never imagined I would ever develop lifestyle friendships so quickly and have them be so authentic. Right, right. It's the speed at which you can develop this level of trust and closeness. That's very surprising.

Some of those surface-level friends we had before um were consuming a lot of our lives and a lot of our times and now that's been replaced with people who we deeply care about and who care about us yeah yeah so it's a that that's something that i just never understood would happen like our friends that we that we met halfway for dinner a couple weeks ago yeah you know we've known them for what five six years now yeah it was our it was like our friend-aversary yeah that so we've known them for six years and you know i feel like we've known them forever yep it kind of feels like we grew up together because we're almost the exact same age and you know we we've watched our kids you know, their, their kids are a little bit younger than ours.

So we've watched their kids like graduate from high school and college and develop relationships. And, and we've watched, you know, them evolve in the lifestyle and they've watched us evolve in the lifestyle. And it's, it's been really a cool journey. Right. Um, I never imagined that i could learn things new about you after 29 years of marriage because after that many years you really know somebody yeah but watching you with other men and women um and watching you express yourself in different ways and watching you develop deep friendships with men, not just sexual, but friendships with men.

Um, I've, I've seen a part of you that I didn't know and never imagined was there. Yeah. I, I totally agree with you. I mean, and I could like totally do the flip side of that. Um, it, it's just been really interesting and like, like the whole me developing friendships with men, like I'm left brain. I was a mathematician. Now I'm an accountant and you know, I'm, I'm a numbers person, like Excel spreadsheets are sexy. Like I just, that works for me. And a lot of men are the same way. So it's just, it's fun. And I'm allowed to do that.

Like sometimes with our groups of vanilla friends that we used to hang out with, maybe not in that core circle. You know, I w I would get stuck in the kitchen with the ladies. Right. And, and I like to cook actually a pretty good cook. Yeah. Um, but I'm not really a Pinterest girl and I'm definitely not a bunco girl. Well, you're on Pinterest now, but it's your cocktail recipes. Yeah, right know, right. I'm just not that girl. I'm not a girly girl. I'm not a tomboy, but I'm a numbers person, and I tend to relate to career paths of men, I guess, more so than myself.

And I'm allowed to do that now, and I'm not judged. Right. You know, like, why is Mrs. Jones in the in the room with all the guys like she should be here talking about the latest brownie recipe or whatever and and i'm not slighting women that are like that that's just not me right right i never imagined that being in the lifestyle would help us to become a stronger team of two yeah Yeah, we're pretty formidable. Yeah, because everything that we've experienced together, we have fought through together. And I think it's our relationship that we were both fighting for.

So that was a neutral, you know, it wasn't you or it wasn't me. It was what we had together. Well, when I start to doubt myself, I can shake it off so easily because I'm like, no, Mr. Jones is like the smartest person I know. And we made this, this decision together. So therefore, you know, it's, it's not me doubting myself. It's me doubting our relationship, which I'm not going to do. Right. You know, so it just gives me so much more. I don't know, courage, I think, because I trust you and I know how smart you are. And I know you're not only smart, you're very wise.

And and whenever I doubt myself, I don't have to because you've got my back and I've got your back. And if you think it's okay and I think it's okay, then it must be okay for us. Right, right. Yeah. So through that, we've been able to trust our relationship, um, much more. I mean, we already trusted it, but it's really, well, you know, I think we used to, I think we used to bicker more about stuff. Yeah.

Um, now I think we just, it's kind of like we just take our medicine and swallow it and we know, okay, whatever it is, whether it's related to money or whether it's related to lifestyle stuff or business stuff or whatever, we know that, okay, it is what it is. You and I have like created this path that we're on and we just stick with it because we trust each other. Right. I mean, if, if I can trust you, we say this is kind of cliche, but it's not like if I can trust you with other people in bed and I don't have to worry about where your head is.

I know where your body is and I know what your body's doing and I know your body's liking it. But I always know where your head is. Your head is with me. And I don't ever have to like take a step back and wonder about that. Right. I just, I pound my fist on the table and I'm like, I'm okay. Right. Because we're okay. Right. And I, you know, I think it takes not only a long time in a relationship, you know, like, um, we were at a workshop in Austin with Catherine pre COVID, which seems like decades ago, but it was just a few months ago.

And she was talking about, um, having to experience something 30 times before you trust that the outcome is always going to be the same. Yeah. So I think that's where experience in the lifestyle serves you well. Right. I would agree. And it wouldn't be, I guess I need to say one thing about the podcast because I don't know. So I think that's where experience in the lifestyle serves you well. Right. I would agree. And it wouldn't be, I guess I need to say one thing about the podcast because I never imagined our podcast would become such a big part of other people's lives. Right.

I thought it was just going to be the stupid little file on the internet somewhere that a few people would listen to. Yeah. I remember our first month, we had 37 people listen to our first episode. Yeah. And I was like, oh my gosh, 37 people have listened to us talk about having sex with other people. Yeah. That was craziness. Yeah. So before we get into any of some of the feedback from our friends our friends and our listeners or community members, do you have any other thing that you? I never imagined I would be so self-confident at this age.

you know when we of course I mean six years is a long time but in the scheme of your you know in the span of your life, it's really not a long time, but you know, I, we knew we were kind of on the upper echelon of age when we got into the lifestyle. And of course, six more years is marched by. And, um, it, it's hard to be confident when you're, you know, you're literally bearing yourself to other people. And it's really not that difficult. You just kind of, you truly learn to own who you are.

and you know I didn't really worry about the COVID-5 that I had gained over the past few months when we were with our friends last weekend because I know they like me for who I am. And it's not really, you know, it's not really any one thing about a person that makes you attractive or unattractive. And, and I've, I'm pleasantly surprised at how I can power through that and not let the little things about my myself and my body that I don't like get in the way. Right. I would have never imagined I would be capable of that. Right.

And I, and I think a lot of people experience that it doesn't necessarily mean it's age. It just means, you know, you're with somebody for X number of years. You never imagined you would be opening yourself up to other people and having that be nude in front of other people or having sex with other people. And that's a mind blowing thing to think about. Yes. Because as a woman or a man, you're exposing yourself. And that's something you never thought you would ever be doing or want to do or have to do in the future. I also never imagined I would ever be cussing on the internet.

You're getting better at it, too. I know, I'm better at it than you are, I think. I think so, too. Yeah. Well, people like to hear you cuss. I think Mrs. Jones cussing is sexy. Me's just obnoxious whatever okay well let's start to share some of what some of our friends have shared with us and see if this resonates with with you all we never imagined we would care and connect at the level we have with lifestyle friends. And the conversations we've had about those connections have brought us closer together. Yeah. I mean, I think that that's what we just talked about. Yeah.

As a woman, I'd say feeling comfortable in my own skin when I'm literally surrounded by beautiful people inside and out is never something I thought would happen. But here I am. And I think that's echoing what you just said. Yeah, right. And, you know, when I look around, like, gosh, especially if you're a desire, you know, because you're out at the pool and people are mostly naked. You know, even if you have swimsuits on, you're showing a lot. And you look around and there's all these beautiful people I'll see you next time. and people are mostly naked.

Even if you have swimsuits on, you're showing a lot. And you look around and there's all these beautiful people. And I'm like, well, here I am. Love me or leave me. And all of a sudden it's okay. And the whole beautiful inside and out thing is mind-blowing. I've met the kindest, most warm-sp authentic people. Yeah. In the lifestyle. I think I have a bit of an advantage because I know where some of these came from. And the woman who shared this is a lot younger than us. And she's very beautiful herself.

So we assume that when we see somebody like that, that shouldn't have these issues right but what we're learning is it doesn't freaking matter i know male female age size you know every almost everybody suffers or goes through this same thing about learning how to feel comfortable in your own skin. Yep. Okay, the next one is we never imagined how well our love and communication with each other would grow as a result of being in the lifestyle. And we never imagined we would meet so many laid back, fun, intelligent, and beautiful people inside and out. There's that word again, inside and out.

And I think, you know, there was a lot that i didn't include in here because we kept seeing communication um relationship um and you know meeting beautiful people inside and out it was it was a common thread it was through there um i never imagined we would ever take a picture of us naked and share it with people we had not met yet. I like the last word, yet. I mean, think about that. Not only are we taking pictures of each other now, but we're sending them to people we don't really know.

Or we're sharing them in our community with Lord knows how many people are you know, are out there and people are doing this all the time. So, yeah, that's mind blowing. It is. To think about. I never would have imagined that my triggers in the lifestyle are rarely sex related, that our non lifestyle friends would be excited for us when we told them about what we do and that the people we have met in the lifestyle are such a large part of our everyday lives. Yeah. So let's back up and tear that one apart a little bit. Okay. That my triggers in the lifestyle are rarely sex-related. Yeah.

So in other words, this person, and I don't know who this is, but this person isn't obviously concerned about how big, if this is a guy, like how big his dick is compared to somebody else's dick. It is a guy. It is a guy. Yeah. Okay. Well, I love you. I'm sorry. I don't know who you are. But, you know, and that's the same thing with me. Like my triggers are usually something that doesn't have to do with sex. It's more relational. Yeah. That something doesn't, like, feel right. Right. And that was your very first trigger. Yes. I held that guy's hand. Yes. On a beach bed.

And it was just an empathetic gesture. Yes. And it literally flipped your lid and you had no idea.

And there could be be other things there could be he could be referring to just my wife off without me having a conversation with another man yeah and then you look around like where is she completely completely dressed yeah yeah or it could be my wife dancing on the dance floor with somebody who can dance when i've never thought i'm a good dancer oh was this you no it wasn't me you take that back Ha ha ha we assume that if i'm going to have a problem with this it's going to be the sex part of it right and it's not necessarily the sex part of it right it's the other stuff that catches you off guard yeah yeah okay so the second part says that our non-lifestyle friends would be excited for us when we told them about what we do like oh my god like these people are amazing so they were able to tell their their vanilla friends and it was okay yeah so that means they picked some good with.

Yeah. No kidding. Yeah. I mean, we've done that with success. Yes, we have. But we are probably less willing or less brave. Well, there's a difference between telling people and then people finding out. Yeah. They've purposely, you know, told people that they care about and that they want to share this way. Yeah, it's not the same thing as what sounds like it's gone. Well, I mean, that's fantastic. Yes. Okay. And then the last part was that the people we have met in the lifestyle are such a large part of our everyday lives. Yeah.

I mean, so the key word there is everyday lives, you know, even through COVID, right? I mean, I think it's cool that, um, you know, once you figure out this lifestyle stuff and what you want out of it as a couple, um, it doesn't that the firewall doesn't have to be quite as high, you know, you can kind of start taking various aspects of your lives and letting them blend together a little bit and allowing these new people that you meet to become an actual important part of your life. Right. This next one is from friends who are in our community.

I never would have imagined finding the number of amazing people we have met in this community, and then I never would have imagined some of them becoming our very closest friends. Isn't that cool again? Yeah, absolutely. I know that makes me feel really happy. You know, that people are joining our community and then they're meeting these like people that they're really connecting with. I mean, I think we have people in our community that have gone on vacation together, like family vacation together with their families. Yes. Right.

we got a picture today of four of them together i know slightly jealous yeah yeah i never would have imagined getting married in front of a bunch of lifestyle friends and being able to speak and hear the true vows we made to one another i know exactly exactly who this is. And we couldn't go because I think we were on a family vacation with our whole family. And we couldn't go to the wedding, but we got a video. It was amazing. He proposed to her on one of our videocasts. Yes. And then they invited a lot of people from our community to go to their wedding to the ceremony. Right.

And I mean, a lot of people went. The couple that stood up for them were lifestyle friends. Yeah. Isn't that cool? Yeah. What a great love story. I never imagined finding some of my best friends in the community. And I never imagined we would have the openness and ability to talk to each other the way we can now. Right. I think that's really key. Yeah. That it's not just communication. It's the openness and ability to talk to each other the way we can now. So it's not like we didn't communicate before or they didn't communicate before, but the way we communicate now is much different.

It's a different level. It's a different level of respect. It's a different level of trust. And it's just different than the way we were able to communicate before. I think what it is, is when you have something going through your mind, you don't have to weigh it as much anymore.

Like when, when something comes up in your mind and you want to share it with your partner be like oh he might think i'm weird or he's not going to like that or he's going to wonder why i'm fantasizing about that or why i want to try that you know now i think we've done so many crazy things together we never anticipated Like if something's in my mind now i can just bring it up over dinner right because it's just something else yep that's kind of all part of this journey we're on now right right and this last one from this person is in in a way it's um it's bittersweet because she says I never imagined I would feel sexy yeah and on the one hand it's it's a reminder that and I and I know this woman and she's very beautiful um it's it's pretty obvious to see for me yeah um but you know for her not to think she is, is sad in a way, but it's also really, um, sweet that now she's beginning to, to feel that way about herself.

Yeah. And I, and I, and this is a theme that's going to come up in, in more as we keep reading, but you know, the whole, I never imagined I would feel sexy. Um, that's a by-product of becoming a mom and becoming a career employee and you know having and being motivated by work and by you know just life responsibilities the whole sexy part like like we talked about in our last episode the sexy part is the easiest thing to put on pause when you are overwhelmed with life's responsibilities. Right. Some common themes in this next one, but a little bit new.

So it's crazy that we have developed such close friendships, sometimes with people we haven't even met yet. We've heard that, that we communicate with each other and with others so much more effectively and productively than before. So not only are they saying they communicate better with each other, but they're friends. They communicate more effectively with their friends. And finally, that we can be our authentic selves. And in doing so, we grow as individuals, not just as a couple, but in many aspects of our lives. Yeah, I like that. Yeah.

I never imagined with how carefully and cautiously we came up with rules and boundaries that we would have changed them the way that we have in just a short period of time. Well, I think that's really good. Yeah. First of all, they took the time to come up with a set of rules and boundaries to protect their relationship. And then as they explored the lifestyle and had experiences, they were able to come back together as a couple and amend them accordingly. Right. You know, and it doesn't say they're doing crazier shit than they were a year ago or whatever. Right.

I mean, maybe they dialed some stuff back and maybe push some boundaries forward. Yeah. You know, it, I think that's fantastic. Yep. And then the next couple says, I never imagined I would love my husband more than I already do. That love grows even more every damn day. Yeah, I get that sister. I'm with you. Yeah. I mean, enough said. Actually, these are all from the same person. So why don't you just read the rest of them? Okay. I never imagined I would find this confident, sexy woman buried under all that other crap life throws at you. And I never imagined I'd love her as much as I do.

I love that. Yeah. Yeah. Finding yourself again. Yeah. Sometimes I think we lose ourselves. And then she goes on to say, I never imagined sharing sexy pics with a huge group of people I've mostly never met. Yeah, that's scary and titillating at the same time.

And it's hard to find that tipping point where you want to stay relatively safe, but at the same time you want to put yourself out there right it's a pretty awesome empowering feeling and then finally she says i never imagined my husband would look at me like that that is awesome yeah and we know what that is yeah we do i never imagined we would fuck our friends and have so much fun doing it. You know, it's true. Couldn't leave that one out. No, that one's perfect. Yeah. This was a, here are some that we got from Twitter. And this one's pretty short and very succinct and very meaningful.

I never thought we would grow a family. That's pretty cool. Yeah. So these are, you know, normally you don't get to choose your family. Yeah. But in the lifestyle, you know, you kind of become family. Yeah, we really do kind of do. And then the next one says, I never thought I could ever have sex with another man, much less play with another woman. I also never thought the two of us would ever be a full swap couple. So never say never, never know. Um, this next one's from her and she says, I never thought that I'd have sex with another woman. I can relate to that one. Yeah.

Now I'm like, damn, I wasted 50 years. I know. Well, you're making up for lost time. Yeah. And then the next one says, I never thought we'd play separate and enjoy it. Yeah. We still haven't done that. No. We never thought we would each receive so much pleasure from watching one another be pleasured by other people or feel the energy that transpires in that act you know that's one of those things that you just have to experience yeah you can say that all day long and people are like yeah all right and they're rolling their eyes and like you crazy people. Um, it's true. Yeah.

And the, and I think that last sentence, um, really, really hammers home what you just said, because it's easy for, for people to say, Oh, I want to see my spouse with somebody else. And I know I'm going to like it. That may or may not be the case. But when you talk about the energy that transpires in that act, as this person said, you have no idea what that's like because it can be overwhelming. It can be really exciting. You know, there's just the sound and the sights and the sweat and the smells and everything that is going on.

It is an energy within itself that we had never experienced before. Yep. And then I never thought that it would bring us this much closer as a couple. We never thought it would have improved our everyday lives, even outside of our marriage in communication with everyone, everywhere. That's right. So it's family, it's colleagues, employees, bosses, neighbors, you know, anybody that you're coming up in contact with, you're finding that you're communicating in a different way. I swear, I've talked to so many people in the pool of Desire about our careers, whatever those careers may be.

And people have said how engaged in the lifestyle has changed the way they approach their career. Yes. You know, because they see things in a broader fashion now. Yeah. Things are not black and white. Things are never black and white in the lifestyle right and most of the time they're not black and white at work we make them so and maybe when you go to training you're taught that it's that way but it's not we had somebody one time who's in the law enforcement field tell us that since he's been in the lifestyle he sees people that he interacts with at work as each as humans. Yes.

You know, I mean, imagine that if you're in law enforcement, and that's kind of what our country is going through now. That's exactly what we're going through now. To see whoever it is that you're interacting with or engaged as a human, that was powerful, that the lifestyle, you know, has brought that level of empathy and understanding to somebody yes i never thought it would take so much pleasure in watching my wife enjoying other people i think most men outside the lifestyle can't even fathom that because i couldn't initially yeah. How do you feel about that one?

Watching my wife enjoying other people. You know, that's something that was kind of a neutral experience at first, but... Well, you wanted me, so if we like go in a little time capsule back six years, you wanted me to play with another woman. Right. How did it feel when all of a sudden I looked over at her husband and I'm like, oh, there's a tasty treat. And I started playing with him. Yeah, it was. How did that feel? It was a neutral feeling. I didn't it didn't bother me and it didn't energize me. I was kind of a curiosity like, okay, how am I going to respond to this?

And am I going to think this is hot or not? And really what it changed was when we got back together and had sex, it was crazy. It was like I was reclaiming you from somebody. Yeah. Um, but okay. If I'm going to flash all the way forward to this past weekend, I was watching you with a guy who, I mean, I, I'm, I'm comfortable enough in my own skin as a man to say, this guy's in shape. He takes care of himself. Yes, he does. He's younger than me. He has, you know, a fantastic physique. He's just a beautiful creature. Yes. Yes, he is. And it's one of those inside and out things. It is.

Which makes him even more attractive. And I have to say when I looked over at one point in time and he had, he was standing and kneeling on, on an, um, a footstool and you were on your knees and you were, you had him in your mouth and it was sexy.

It was a sexy, to see my wife with a guy like that and to see he's so attracted to you you know that makes me feel yeah like yeah damn that's right she's she's my wife and yeah she's not as young as she used to be but you're attracted to her and you're having fun with her and that turns me on so it was you know and and I also know at this point in time that a lot of more of our experiences have been hit or miss for you than they have been for me as far as guys that you connect with and that's probably true yeah so when I see you enjoying yourself and not really worried about what I'm doing you're having so much fun that it just makes me relax and I can have a good time and not worry about, is everything going okay over there?

Well, yeah, I can, I can totally see that. You know, it's funny cause I'm going off on a tangent here and we have more things to read. But, um, one of the things we joked about last weekend, we were with this couple that you're referring to is, you know, he, he asked the question, I guess, I don't know if it was the first night we were there about if we like to watch, have porn on the TV while we were having sex with them. Right. And I was like, yeah, I just think it's a distraction, you know?

And I think I was kind of a buzzkill because like porn just doesn't really do it for me it it's so most of the porn most not all is so unrealistic I I just don't have the time of day for it and the I think it was actually the I think it was the second night we played with them um he and I finished first and he actually went and got like towels and wash closet and cleaned us all up and and we were kind of they have this like huge sectional sofa thing and and he were and i were on one side of it and you two were still going to town you haven't come up for air at all so he came back and he and i were cuddling and we were both laying on our sides kind of spoon together and we were watching the two of of you.

And I looked at him and I'm like, that is the kind of porn I like to watch. It's got to be live and it's got to have my husband in it. And his sexy wife was not painful to look at at all because she is ridiculously beautiful. So you're saying I'm your personal porn star. Yes, you are, honey. So I think that just watching that compersion thing, like I wasn't the least bit jealous. I was just like, oh my God, I get to actually like lay here. I wasn't glad he and I were finished, although he and I finished very well. Well, that was your fault.

We fault we were you know this whole covid thing has a little bit of pent-up energy inside of me okay and i might not have like listened to him when he said back off for a minute listen to him he was trying to physically push you away yeah he was i think i might have gotten like a palm in my forehead yeah Yeah. Sorry, not sorry.

sorry but anyway because i was greedy and we finished early i mean i got to enjoy watching you and you know never would i have ever thought that my favorite porn would have been watching you six feet away from me like fucking another incredibly beautiful woman that I care deeply about yeah I mean she's my friend yeah and it was amazing isn't that amazing go figure no competition there yeah this one hits home for us understanding that sexiness is not all at all linked to age thank goodness I just I just wrote a um for our next newsletter that's coming out next week, I just wrote an FAQ about, are we too old to be in the lifestyle?

Um, so this one fits right into that. No, it was a very short article.

Uh, but I think what I've learned is that I assumed I, and I still struggle with this a little bit is um you know this idea that if you are of a certain generation or age that that i used to just automatically make the assumption that there's not going to be an interest there's not going to be a level of interest just because i'm older or that much older than she is where they are and we have learned that it's not about that no it's not at all you know where my head's going right now back to desire last november yeah remember we were doing um i think it was the morning we were recording our our podcast in the disco i remember the the couple that walked in they were doing a photo shoot and they walked in to do some podcasts in the disco.

I remember the, the couple that walked in, they were doing a photo shoot and they walked in to do some photos in the disco. That couple, they're, they're older than us. And, um, she had on a corset and black heels. She had, she has long blonde hair.

She had her hair done up makeup done she walked in looking like a rock star yeah and she was incredibly sexy and incredibly brave she walked in in front of what there were like 30 of us in there right right did this photo shoot um on this table like it was incredible yeah and i mean it was amazing i mean good her, the confidence that she had the sexiness and, and just her, her carriage and her posture was incredible. So yeah. And this isn't necessarily just the, uh, the older age, it's also the younger age, you know, you know, sexy at all ages. Right.

I mean, I think a 25 year old would have had trouble walking in front of 30 people in a corset and heels getting her picture taken. Right. You know, so you can own it. Right. This one's interesting. I never thought we'd have couples as friends. For so long, I had my friends and he had his friends. Now we can say we have our friends. That's really cool. Yeah. See, you and I didn't have that. No, we didn't. No, we always, we pretty much had couple friends. Right. But I do know I actually have girlfriends who just have girlfriends and their husbands have guy friends. Right.

So that's really cool that that kind of changed that dynamic for them. Right. all right We never thought our first time would be with a couple we met online who drove 10 plus hours to come stay with us for basically a three day full swap sex fest. Yet here we are. That is amazing. That is amazing. Well, when it's right, it's right. Yeah. Obviously it worked out. Yeah. I never thought we'd start falling in love with each other all over again after more than 40 years. Oh, I think that's cool that you read that. That is cool. I know. That's amazing. And we hear that over and over. Yeah.

I never thought I'd be so enraptured with my wife enjoying sex and loving it with other men and women. I never thought that we would get to a place of such open communication and expression of our desires. Awesome. Yeah. Confidence and communication. The lifestyle has led to a huge improvement in both areas. A distant third, though, would be the double blowjob. I guess it's fitting that you read that one. Yeah.

Well, but again, a distant third, even though that's tongue-in-cheek and it's funny, you know, the emotional sentimental piece was what was the most important and the double blow job was well right because when you first think about getting in the lifestyle guys probably think about the double blow job right and if you think about it like when you're out with like when I'm out golfing with my buddies on our golf trip and they don't know anything about this you know know, every once in a while I say, you know, it'd be nice to just drop a bomb on these guys and let them know what I do.

I wouldn't say necessarily the first thing out of my mouth would be, oh, well, Mrs. Jones and I have a much better relationship or I'm learning more things about her. No, it would be, guys, I've had a blowjob before. So the tendency for guys, I think would be to say that. So for the, for the fact that this guy did not, you know, he, he ended with that is, is more important. The position that he put that act in, in his thought was more important than the act itself. Right. Right. Okay. Last one. Okay.

okay we never thought that the lifestyle would have taught us better communication skills we never thought it would improve our relationship to the extent it has we never thought we'd make such wonderful friends in the lifestyle the lifestyle has also taught me about my bulbs that was a game changer okay so you're gonna have to explain this you gotta you needed to be part of our ladies book club a couple months ago we ladies have these things called vestibular bulbs and they're they're part of our like whole like clitoral network yeah of of all the lady parts that need to be stimulated and engorged to for us to fully enjoy sex So, yes, it's been quite the anatomy lesson, too.

I would have never learned about the bulbs without reading this book. So the vesticular bulbs were a game changer. Vestibular. Oh, sorry. Vestibular bulbs were a game changer. You were supposed to read that chapter in the book. I was? That's why I downloaded it to your Kindle. Oh, the one I ignored when we were at the beach? Yes. Oh, yeah. Oh, I just called Mr. Jones out in front of everybody. Oops. Okay, you have homework, babe. Okay, no problem. So, after all of that, before we close, let's wrap this up.

So, let's say that, you know, as you consider the lifestyle, if you're just thinking about getting in, or if you're just beginning your lifestyle journey, um, don't try to imagine yourself doing the things that you hear about us doing or hear about others doing. Right.

Um, your journey is your own and your fantasies are your own and your goals and objectives of your own right um you can't you can't say oh well the joneses did that or people in their community did that or somebody on twitter did that or i heard a podcast where they did that yeah and i'm not talking about fantasizing it's of course you can talk about what other people do and fantasize about it. But the point here is that there are no, like, objectives when you get into this. There's not a finish line.

There's not a blueprint that we've established or anybody's established that you have to follow. There's no diploma for graduating, you know, into this. You know, if I had to, if somebody said, well, what were your goals and objectives six years ago? And, you know, I would have to say A, B, C, D, E. Um, first of all, I don't even know what they were. And secondly, we probably haven't accomplished them because this has gone nothing like we thought it would. Right. And it's gone a hundred times better than I could have imagined it would. Right.

Um, you know, I think when you first get in it, you think of maybe, uh, maybe you dwell on the pitfalls or maybe you only focus on the crazy fantasies and you don't like, like, uh, plan out like the everyday progression of what it could be right you know you're either one extreme or the other you know you're either like woe is me like eeyore like the sky's gonna fall and everything's terrible or this is just going to be crazy shit and we'll figure it out as we go right you know the the reality is a middle road right and i think the common thread here was communication and bringing you closer as a couple and having the courage to Thank you.

What?

You know, this is on the internet.'s out there forever I know you just said that I mean during the podcast like I have an outline and I'm following the outline and when we go back and listen sometimes I think oh man she said something that was really wise or that was really insightful and I was so busy thinking of how much time we've taken up that I didn't respond so she used 600 words again to say something that took 10 or that should have taken 10 but i think you just touched on something that i want to draw out and that is you used the word communication and you were focusing on communication but then at the end you slipped in another c word which is courage so communication A lot of couples talk.

A lot of couples talk to each other. Or talk at each other? Well, no, I mean, even talk about things deeply with each other. But to have the courage to bring something up that you've never vocalized before with your partner, that's the type of communication that we're talking about. So I think it's the courage that you mentioned. You have to have the courage. You have to know that if I bring this up, I'm being vulnerable. She might get mad at me. I might hurt her feelings. She might, you know, think I don't love her.

you know, all of these things that we are taught in society that we don't think about. We don't, we think about one person. We think about our spouse. We think about, we don't let them catch us staring at somebody else. We don't fantasize about other people. Um, or we don't admit that. So to have the courage to come out and say, I really, honey, last sex with our friend last weekend was freaking amazing. I can say that now because I know how you've already expressed tonight. Because you know I was spooning with a really hot guy watching you. But I didn't know that the first time.

I didn't know that the first time right i didn't know and that's why when i said earlier that i never uh got into this with having to have sex with other women and you kind of called me out and you said no you've gotta you've got to tell me what you want to get out of this and and so having the courage to do that whether you're the the male or the female um that's the kind of communication that we're talking about right it's things that you would have never brought up and i think as we close the things that you know there is a common thread and you touched on communication but there's also the order of events like um before we got into this my perception is what we would get out of it is sex with other people.

Yeah. Having this conversation tonight about what we never thought we would hear or say or do and then reading all of these things, I kind of tied all this together in a few like individual growth. We heard that a lot. Yep. Friendships. That was the common thread, I think. Friendships. We heard that a lot. Yep. Friendships. That was the common thread. I think friendships. We heard a lot better communication. Yep. Building your relationship. There's the sex part of it closer to the bottom of the list. Well, but the sex part of it isn't sex with other people.

I think the sex part of it is sex with each other. Well, it's sex period with other people and with yourselves. But I think the quality of the sex with your partner, it improves because the connection, I think, is deeper and more transparent. Does that make sense to say those two at the same time? Yes. Right. And lastly, there's a lot of fun. Yeah. I don't think when I first thought of you being with somebody else or me being with somebody else or sharing us ourselves with another couple, that fun was at the top of the list.

It was almost erotic, or there was jealousy, you know, or there was, you know, sexual feelings, you know, this, the orgasms, there was the fun part of it. You know, it really didn't start to be fun until we got beyond all of that. And we started to build the friendships.

and then even sex with you and I became more fun and more playful and less serious because you know the thing I've learned is that like when we first started having sex with other people and like even when you and I first got married and we would have sex I always would be like in the back of my mind it'd always be like well how do I look like do I have a look weird look on my face like is am I at a weird angle like is you know it's like is my belly hanging down or like you know is my butt it's pointed in the wrong direction or you know I always thought that I felt awkward when I had sex and now like I just remember we met this one couple one time and before like we were like naked and ready to start playing and the husband said um there's something we need to let you know and you and i were kind of like uh oh what is this gonna be and they're like we laugh a lot when we have sex we hope that doesn't like like throw you off or anything we're like oh my god thank goodness you know we had so much fun with them yeah and you know it's just it's so much fun to have fun with other people and to like let yourself go and not care what angle they're looking at you at or like you know like i don't even know like i know i'm a hot mess when i have sex i make weird noises my.

My hair's a mess. Like, who even knows? And I don't care because it feels good. Last, the very last comment here is that you are the only ones where you are now. Yes. So wherever you are, even if we sound like you or if other couples sound like you, you each have different tastes and you have a different idea of what this is. You have a different relationship and you have a different idea of your pace into this. You're the only person or couple that's where you are right now. Exactly. So it's up to you to craft your own. And that doesn't make you worse than somebody else.

And it doesn't make you better than somebody else. It makes you you. Right. And never say never. I think that's the bottom line. That's for sure. All right. Well, when we come back, we have some breaking news. We have like real snapshots. We have real snapshots. So when we come back, we'll share one or two with you. All right. Well, welcome back. And I am so excited to bring you a snapshot. You're excited. Well, yeah, because I was pretty excited during my snapshot. Oh. Yeah. I don't know what your snapshot is. Do you want to go first? It's from last weekend. Oh.

This was totally worth an airplane ride and a mask. Okay. Do share. So we were at our friend's house last weekend when they were graciously hosting us. And I think this was the second night. And for whatever reason, we had the hardest time transitioning. Like we've known these people for a long time. Yeah. And we've played with them more than once. So I don't know why, but it was kind of a dumb evening. Well, there was just, yeah, you and I had some drama going on that had nothing to do with them, had to do with business stuff.

So, um, we got past that and, and I don't know, we were really struggling to transition. And then all of a sudden, the next thing I know, we were like, we either need to have sex or go to bed. She said that. Yeah. And I was like, I'm not going to bed. Yeah. That got my attention. I'm like, well, here we go. And I stood up and they had like a sectional sofa thing. And we and you sat on one piece of it and he sat on the other piece. And you two were kind of facing each other. And I think. Oh, right. Somehow we managed to get. You know what I'm talking about. Well, he made this request.

Oh, did he? Yes. OK. Yes, he's...

on the other piece and you two were kind of facing each other and i think oh right somehow we managed to get you know what i'm talking about well he made this request oh did he yes okay he said you know one thing i'd really like is a double blow job okay so yeah so you guys we got you stripped down and she and i had lingerie on and um you guys were like sitting down and your knees were like facing each other but there was a like a like two or three feet between your knees yeah so she and i both kneeled down in that open area yeah and we just it was like it was like being at like baskin robbins only there were two flavors instead of 31 flavors yeah like there was his flavor and there was your flavor And I just kneeled down and he was to my left and you were to my right and she and i just kind of took turns going back and forth and then we would double up and give him a double blow job and then we give you a double blow job and i don't know how long we did that and it just it was like back and forth and that's why we're better than Baskin-Robbins, because we didn't melt.

No, you did not melt. You didn't have to be in any hurry at all. Well, there was a little drippage, but yeah, no melting. Yeah. It was just amazing. Here's a funny little anecdote. Oh, I'm sorry. Were you finished? No, go ahead. Go ahead. Well, the night before, I learned a lesson. And she went down on me and for a long time and I was ready to go. And then I went down on her for a long time. And when I was going down on her, I lost a bit of my erection.

But when she said she was ready for me to get a condom, I had to make a snap judgment about whether I was hard enough to get the condom on or not. And I decided I was. But about halfway into trying to get it on, I realized this thing's not going on. And so I pulled it back off and I said, would you mind helping me for a minute?

So she put me back in her mouth and within just a couple of minutes, I I was ready to go again and then I tried to put the same unrolled condom back on yeah that was a fail it didn't work yeah I remember that part I mean it was still clean but at that point in time I said no this isn't going to work I get to get a new one before I find myself in the same situation again so after all this time working with condoms I learned something new once you unroll that bad boy, if you take it off, you need to toss it. That's right.

They're rolled up for a reason, but anyway, and then I found it afterwards and I'm like, Ooh, who left this here? And you're like, Oh, you're like, Oh, that's just my, that was my false start. Oh, I took the finished one myself. I always clean up. I know you wouldn't have done that, but it was still, it was obviously clean, but it was unrolled. So I was like, um, I don't think I want to touch it. Yeah. Well, watching the two of you ladies together, I was glad that he asked for that.

Not because I didn't even expect to get, it was a bonus when I got the double blow job too, but I just liked watching you too because the view that I had was awesome.

Both of you from behind are you kidding me i just remember like because i was kneeling and so i was like at 90 degrees to each one of you and like he was to my left and you were to my right and she was straight in front of me and like oh my gosh like i'm in heaven so mine just involves the two of us when we were at the beach and we told you all last episode that um mrs jones struggled to pull the trigger to go on this vacation oh my gosh i was so nervous but once she signed up she was all in so anyway we get down there the very first night and we didn't even go out to dinner we had a late we had a late meal in the car when we were still driving so we had a couple beers or whatever i think we had gotten out like cheese and crackers no we opened a bottle of wine we had wine and there's a balcony we're on the 19th floor it was a big balcony balcony there's chairs out there and you're the balcony was open on two sides yeah so you're afraid of heights normally yeah and we got undressed on the balcony and I was sitting in the chair.

Well, I had on those. Oh, you had on those short shorts. I had on those Daisy Dukes denim bunch of nothing shorts. And then like this little crop top that my boobs were falling out of. Right. And our balcony was open on two sides. So like the side of it was open because the back of the building stuck out a little bit so you could see the beach. And so we were that balcony where the back of the building jetted out so our neighbors could see us. Well, our neighbors were Ma and Pa and Jethro and Allie, I think. Oh, come on, babe. That was wrong. But true.

And not young Jethro and ellie no um anyway um we got naked yes you looked awesome and well i realized if i stood from the middle to the right of the balcony they couldn't see jethro could see me yeah but if i stood to the left they they could right hear us right but they couldn't see us so i sat down and you sat down on top of me with your back towards me yeah and you and you had your arm your hands gripping the handrail of the balcony on the 19th floor on the 19th floor which means 190 feet up yeah and as george costanza said or no george's mom you used my body like an amusement park I don't know.

90 feet up. Yeah. And as George Costanza said, or no, George's mom, you used my body like an amusement park and you were up and down, bouncing up and down. And I'm not sure how many orgasms you had, but after each one you would turn around and you would say, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I need to keep going. I'm sorry.

And after about the third one, the third one i said honey when when you have an orgasm when a man helps you have an orgasm you never apologize you kept saying don't say you're sorry but but you were like leaning even your head you were leaning over the the railing well at one point i was standing up yeah and my arms and my head were hanging over the rail and i do not not like heights. And I remember like the logical part of my brain was trying to get control. And it was trying to say, excuse me, you shouldn't be hanging over this rail like this. And what was my mouth saying?

I was screaming, fuck me harder. I remember that vividly. And I remember I remember even thinking Jethro and Ellie and the clampets can hear me. And I screamed it anyway. Like it was, it was craziness. Yeah. Well, well you said, but, but anyway, the original point was that we needed that getaway. We had all of that pent up.

you had a lot of energy and we made quite a mess of that balcony but um we had a good time that wasn't the only time we did that i know we i think like three times during the week i think it was pretty much every other night we used and abused that balcony i think we used the balcony after covid karaoke we did well we in the bedroom, and I think I pushed you back out onto the balcony. Yeah, I don't remember much about that. Thank God we only had to push an elevator button. Yeah, we drank a lot. So it feels really good to be kind of re-engaged, semi-engaged with the lifestyle.

It's good to have snapshots again. So thank you all for being patient. And thank you all who have contributed to our snapshots in the past. So, oh, okay. Let's close. Gosh, we've had quite a few people join our community lately. I think that's another sign that people are re-engaging in the lifestyle. We've had quite a few people sign up through us for Double Date Nation and Cassidy as well. Yeah. So continue to do that do that. There, there is life after COVID.

Um, you know, it's still a very concerning and a scary time, but, but I think like, like we said earlier, I think if we're intelligent about it and we're thoughtful about the way we engage and try to be as responsible as possible, um, I think there, that there is life outside of your uh house yep um so yeah please um consider joining our community our our community has been doing a great job of staying connected we're still doing uh bi-weekly uh meet and greet virtual meet and greets we're still doing the monthly video chat we had these groups and men groups are still having chats we had our second men's group this week and we had 40 guys again.

And then we talked about, um, single guys in the life. That was a really good conversation. We have the, uh, the book club group. Um, there's a bunch of ladies doing a happy hour group tonight. Um, we have all kinds of splinter groups that have started up. So yeah, it's really far as websites you know don't forget double date nation of course we are we are partnering with um dave and andy on that and and uh cassidy and our podcasts are now on sdc as well yeah and we thank sdc for that we have a partnership with them. So keep the emails coming. You can reach me at mrjones at wegotathing.com.

Or me at mrsjones at wegotathing.com. Our website, w-e-g-o-t-t-a-t-h-i-n-g.com. We're on Twitter at wegotathing. And of course, Mrs. Jones's cocktails are all over Pinterest. You know, I actually searched for a recipe like last month. On the web. Yes, on the web. And Pinterest came up, and I clicked on Pinterest, and it was my post. It was your recipe. It was my recipe. Well, good. I'm like, oh, I guess I could have just gone to my website and grabbed that. Our SEO guy is doing a good job. I think so. So thanks for listening. We are Mr. and Mrs. Jones, and we got a thing. What's your thing?

We'll see you next time.