Episode 71: The Kiss and Tell Dilemma

Transcript

This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-pos positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us?

hello everyone i'm mr jones and i'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 71 of the we got a thing podcast 71 the kiss and tell dilemma yeah talk more about that in just a second yeah we just had a big conversation about the word dilemma so we'll uh we'll stay tuned we'll get back to that yeah in the meantime we are sold out for our austin event we're more than sold out we're oversold out yeah we're gonna have to cuddle at the restaurant on friday night we originally we're gonna hold this to 50 but we have so many good friends now it's hard to say no to people you know when you're really good friends wait to the last minute and say i know you're sold out but i'm like well damn i want you to come like for totally selfish reasons of course you can come so we were going to limit to 50 but now we're well over 60 yeah that's all right um the the conference room where we're going to do our workshops is huge.

That's not a problem. The restaurant, you know, swingers know how to cuddle. Like we can fit in small spaces, so we'll be fine. It's going to be a lot of fun. The chat group is heating up and the schedule is completed and all of the work is just about done. Yeah, we have some pretty cool workshops planned.

I it's gonna be a good time ready to head to austin and sorry of the sorry about those who are on the waiting list um but perhaps next fall when we do our next one yep in the pacific northwest um be ready for that that's right so we'll see you in austin in a few weeks uh after that we have podcast a palooza in Miami. That's right. And that is not sold out yet, but it's getting close. It's like three quarters of the way full. Yep. So if you're interested in that, try to think about jumping on it. It's May 15th through 18th.

And we have to give a shout out to Kate from Swinging Down Under because she just made the heroic effort to fly from Singapore to the United States for a few weeks and ended up in Miami meeting with the hotel owners and making sure that everything was set and perfect. That's right. It's going to be a fun weekend, I'm telling you. I mean, who would not want to be on South Beach in the month of May? Yeah. I mean, it's going to be nice and warm, but it's not going to be stinking hot. It's going to be absolutely perfect.

So if you missed us in Austin, there's still time to get into Podcastpalooza in Miami. Yep. All those details are on our website. Yes. And big news about Desire Resorts. The mansions are open. Yes. And we've gotten feedback from some people who have stayed there. Yeah. And, of course, the first few weeks, you know, you always have to go through the growing pains. Right. But, I mean, everything's been positive. Yeah. So, yeah, Mr. Jones and I are going to be there in, what, a couple months. Yeah. Just for a few days. A test drive. Just to kind of test it out. Yeah.

We are pretty excited about that. Definitely. And if you're interested in staying in one of the mansions, visit our website because we are, I think, until somebody tells me otherwise, we're the only ones around that can give you a discount on that. That's right. So take a look at wegotathing.com if you're interested in the Desire Mansions. Yep. And then Desire Pearl, our trip in November of 2020, is doing well. You know, I think what happens is people, there's an initial, when we announced it in early November, there was an initial rush. And then it settled down in December during Christmas.

But then after the first of the year, I think people get their calendars out. Well, you know, there's nothing to do in January. Like you're busy in December with family stuff and the holidays and everything. And now it's like, ah, the weather's crappy. And, you know, what are we going to do this year? So, yeah, time to get your calendars out and look to see if you can sneak away the week of November 14th to 21st. Yeah, so we've had quite a few bookings in the past couple of weeks, and it's going to sell out. But as of now, as of January 2020... I think all the categories are still available.

Yeah, there's still some motion view rooms available, so we'd love to have you along. Absolutely. Okay, what's been going on with the Joneses? Well, I mean, clearly we had the holidays, which were wonderful. But before the holidays. Good time with friends and family. Yeah. Before the holidays. Well, during the holidays, because we went to Las Vegas. Yes. To visit family for Thanksgiving, and we used that as an excuse to visit a club while we were out there. Yeah, we did. And meet some friends. Yeah.

went to um playhouse lv in las vegas and had a wonderful evening yeah they're a relatively new club and we contacted them ahead of time and told them we were going to be out there and you have to apply for membership there and they do have a vetting process which we'll talk about in a minute. But the club itself, it's fairly small. I think, what, do they let 120 people in? Well, they've just expanded. I think it used to be only like less than 100. And now I think they can do like 125, 140, somewhere around in there now.

yeah but it was a really um we had a good time we felt safe and and we felt um it was intimate but yet there was room to move around we met dave and nicole the owners and they're really doing a good job of turning it into what they envision a lifestyle club to look like yes um i mean that just the quick and dirty bottom line is um it's well run and it's clean and it's well managed yeah you know they they have rules and they have you know there's a time and a place for everything and they make sure people adhere to that.

And I just felt like it was a place I felt very comfortable and I also felt like I could have approached anybody in that club and struck up a conversation with them. I didn't really get the impression that there were cliques, that people go there all the time and they have their little group of people and you can't really breach that.

And you know the other go there all the time and they have their their little group of people and you can't really you know breach that um and you know the other thing i loved first of all the dj played really good music but the best part is he played it at the right volume yeah i mean it was loud and it was fun and it and it you know drew you to the dance floor but at the same time you could actually have a conversation with somebody without screaming in their ear and pretending that you could hear what they were telling you imagine that i know like a place that you go to like meet people and hook up with them you can actually hear what they're telling you yeah so we saw some old friends there that we didn't expect to see no that was such a treat and we went with two of our good best friends in the lifestyle.

And we also met some listeners there. And we also have somebody who's in deep trouble. Uh-oh. Evidently, there were some listeners there. No kidding. That were supposed to come introduce themselves to us, and they didn't. I know.

They sent us a message the next day and said, you guys were so busy talking talking to people you know we we didn't feel like we could come up to you well daggone it that's why we were there yeah so you guys are are in trouble i know and there's only one way to make it up to us that's right next time we're out there we're gonna meet face to face yeah so let's talk about the the vetting process it's um you know we talked to the, and you do have to apply. And when you apply, you have to provide your screen name to a website, to a dating site. And they review that.

And then they have a process that you go through, and then they vet you and let you know if you're accepted or not. Yes.

And we didn't really get the details behind what that means but we can tell you that the experience that we had at the club i mean look we're in our 50s that's no secret right so we felt comfortable there and we actually know that there were people there our age and a little bit older yeah yeah we were on the older side yeah for sure right yeah but i still felt comfortable there i didn't feel like everybody else was in their 30s and i was in my 50s yeah and i think you mentioned it before we didn't feel like there were cliques or groups of people no that were clustered around each other talking yeah it was more everybody was mingling with everybody right and we did talk to a lot of people that were local um so i don't know if it's like a vegas thing i mean are there lots of people like you and i that just come in a couple times a year yeah i think and and that so i think do the locals know to reach out to the newbies because we're just in town for the weekend or whatever i don't know what the local people are doing it right i think you're on to something because one of the couples are the friends that we saw there they are from vegas but then a lot of the other couples we talked to had driven in from california or arizona or had flown up from new mexico and we're just in vegas or from colorado and we're in for vegas for the weekend yeah so it's almost like vegas is a great spot if you're out west to enjoy the lifestyle at a club that's not in your hometown right but it's like an hour hour and a half flight or you know a couple of hours drive so so you don't get all of the locals where you're going to have that the clicks forming right but.

But the local people did do a good job of being great ambassadors for the club. And just they set the tone for a really fun vibe that night. And the other thing that I noticed was that people there were laid back and is legitimate the right word? They were like legitimate lifestylers. Yes. Because we've been to some clubs and events where there's a lot of looky-loos, I think is the word that you used, or people that just want to come. We have events in the D.C. area where they end up being very big events because in D.C. we just don't have a lot of lifestyle stuff going on.

So there are like, you know, a couple different groups that hold events and when they do, like, everybody comes because we're just desperate for local stuff. And that in turn draws a lot of what I like to call looky-loos. They're not in the lifestyle, but they want to go to something sexy together. They're scared to death. They don't know what they're doing. So they don't have any idea of what the social norms are at these types of events. And then they end up blundering and making the whole environment somewhat uncomfortable. Right.

So it seemed like everybody there was really comfortable being there. Yes. And so whatever. Now there was one newbie couple. They were adorable. Remember they were sitting on the couch? And you could tell that this was, this might have been like their very first adventure in the lifestyle. They, you know, they had the big, big eyes, deer in the headlights and they were, they were so cute. so cute and you know they sat there for a while and kind of took it all in and then they probably left at maybe 11.

Well we we talked I said look honey we need to go talk to that couple because they look like they're just really nervous yeah and then the next time I turned around they were gone and I said oh no we yeah we missed our opportunity too late we missed them Yeah. But it was very comfortable. And I didn't get the sense that it was a bunch of pretty people. And I didn't get the sense that it was a lot of young people. Correct. You know, there was a good mix of the crowd. So whatever their vetting process is, the club was very comfortable for us. Right.

And, you know, I have to say, not want their job to have to to have to be the ones to screen people that's just a no-win situation it is a no-win situation right yeah so i don't know like our membership community we take anybody we we love them all yeah well and then after that we had a bunch of. Well, you know, we did go to Las Vegas for Thanksgiving with our family. I know. We did have a purpose. We cheated. Yeah. But yes, then we came home to lots of family stuff. It was so fun. Like we had family stuff, I think, every single weekend. Because Mr. Jones has a huge family.

And it was fun because I think we got to connect with every one of your siblings and a lot of our nieces and nephews and it was really a blessing. So we did that all the way through December 25th. Yes. And then the early morning of December 26th, we threw our luggage in the car and drove to the airport and flew to Dominican Republic for five days. Yes. And we met two of our best lifestyle friends there. Yes. And this was a good experiment for us because we've never been on unquote, vacation with another lifestyle couple before. I know.

And it was so funny because the wife of the couple that we went on vacation with, I mean, she's always joked around like, oh, my God, we were just spent like two days together and I didn't get sick of you. Yeah. She's like, that's weird because we get sick of everybody we hang out with. You know, so this was going to be five days. And we're like, I don't know. I think we were a little nervous. Yeah, we might be putting our friendship on the line here. Five days together. Yeah. So the spoiler alert is we had a good time. We did.

But this resort, you know, and a lot of people talk about the black rings and the jewelry that you wear to tell people that you're swingers. And we did take our black rings, right? I didn't wear them. No, we didn't. We took them, but we never put them on. So we went to a, it was a non-lifestyle, it was not a lifestyle resort. It was an adults-only resort. Right. In Punta Cana. Right. And there were, I mean, it was much, much bigger than Desire. Oh, yeah. Probably three or four times as big. Yeah. So a couple of quick stories about this. We met a couple the first night we were there.

We met a lot of couples. Well, you kept giving people, like, upset stomachs. Oh, my goodness. Like, you know how it is at, like, vanilla resorts. You walk by, and you might nod good morning, but, like, you don't verbalize it. You don't make eye contact. Well, shoot, at desire, you say hello to everybody, and you might even, like, give them a kiss and a hug. Not just desire at any lifestyle event. Yeah, any lifestyle thing. So, you know, I wake up the first morning, and do-do-do-do,'re walking down to, to get some breakfast and I'm seeing everybody and I'm saying good morning.

And you can tell like their stomach is cramping because I said good morning to them. Like get over it and just say good morning back. That was funny. So we, we met a couple, one of the first nights we were there, vanilla couple.

And, uh, you know, we talked with them for a while and they were cute couple um so fast forward to the then we met no you met them on the beach right the first day their chairs were in front of ours yes and you were chatting with her right and and her husband on the beach and then and then we we were with our friends the four of us were sitting at the bar the next night. Yeah, there's a martini bar in the lobby. It's a really cool space. And this couple that we met on the beach walks in. Well, they walked in with another couple, which is not unusual, right?

Yeah, a lot of couples there were on vacation with other couples. but the husbands and the wives were walking next to the opposite spouse. Right. Cause Mr. Jones had just met this couple that day on the beach. And he's like, I'm pretty sure that lady is married to that guy. And they were not walking next to each other. So the four of us realized that, and we were going to go to dinner. And I said, and these four people had walked into the sports bar there to watch a football game. And I said, no, let's not go to dinner yet. Let's go in the sports bar and find out what's going on there.

Because that looks like they're interested in the opposite spouse. Right, right. We're like, is this really a spring resort? We don't know it. Yeah yeah so we walked in and we walked up behind them and we said hello and they remembered us and then we introduced them to our friends and as i was introducing people around the wife of the couple that i had not met yet i went to say hello to her and she was crying Oh my gosh.

She talking to me and and my girlfriend and she was saying oh it it actually was really sad um she was saying you she was saying this to my friend she's like you're the most beautiful woman i've ever seen which i kind of agree with but she's like and and then she looked at me and she's like you two are like dressed so sexy and you guys are so happy and you just have your shit together and i just you know i just could never be like you and she's just like she couldn't understand why you were even talking to her right she's like why are you even talking to me she said that to my girlfriend and my girlfriend's looking at me and and we talked to her for a while and we were kind of like trying to talk her down.

And I said, you know, I said, the cool thing about this place is that we're all here. I said, it's right after Christmas, and we've all come here to decompress, and we're all with our amazing husbands. And she said, well, that's not always the case. And my girlfriend was like, let's get the fuck out of here. Well, so at the same time, I was talking to her husband, who was extremely drunk and trying to buy me shots. And he was so excited because he was trying to get his wife to kiss the other woman. So he was almost like trying to orchestrate something.

And I think his the one you were talking to got a little upset about it and he was so drunk he didn't know he was oblivious so it was almost it was so predictable it was so this couple who is mostly vanilla and they're on vacation and they meet another couple and they don't know what to do they don't know how to act um So we stayed in there and talked with them for a little while and then there was so much drama going on that we decided. Well, we hadn't had dinner yet either, so we bowed out. But it's a shame because the other couple that you had met on the beach, they were pretty cute.

And, you know, they were pretty flippable. Maybe, but we were with our friends. We were. It wasn't on the agenda. No, but I think they were extremely open-minded. Well, they came back and sat next to us at the beach every day. Yeah, we talked to them every day. Yeah. Anyway, but here's the funnier story. Okay. The funnier story is that, again, this was later in the week. The four of us were sitting at the bar. Yeah, we met at the bar every night before we would go to dinner. Because there were like eight restaurants at this resort. You two ladies were sitting next to each other.

And I have to agree, you two were the most beautiful women at the resort. But I'm biased. Okay, can I preface this? Yeah. So the four of us had been on the beach all day. We had gone back to our rooms to get cleaned up. We met at our room. Had sex. No. My girlfriend and I had sex. Oh, right. And we made you guys just watch. Right.

Oh, and I have a picture of that you do can i describe that what the two of you like he and i the other husband and i were sitting in chair chairs next to the sliding glass doors watching you you two were on the bed and you were like scissored you were leaning back and your head was off the mattress, so your hair was falling down the outside of the mattress. Oh, I remember that picture, okay. And you each had a toy and you were looking at each other and you were each playing with the toy.

Well, we were playing with my new vibrating double dildo and then we each had a vibrator yes and i and i'm not one for pictures but when he and i saw that i said i've got to get a picture of that so i took a picture of that yeah and that turned out nice yeah so yeah sorry to interrupt your story okay so anyway so she and i looked fabulous when the four of us got together well you had so then you had to just fuck me hair i know and like we both had we've been making out so like i didn't even look at myself in the mirror after like so we just we got up and put our clothes on and we went to the martini bar i'm pretty sure because she wears bright red lipstick i'm pretty sure that was my face like i never even looked at myself in the mirror after that i know my hair was messed up so anyway and i know you wouldn't have told me that i had fucking hair because you look because that was a badge of honor for you that's right so anyway so my girlfriend and i are sitting next to each other at the martini bar.

And you two husbands were standing behind us. And so there was another couple that came up and sat down next to you ladies. Right. And they were very attractive. And then they were talking to another woman. And we started. Anyway, that's not important. What's important is that I went over and started talking with them, introduced myself. And they were from Montreal. Yes. And we talked with them for introduced myself, and they were from Montreal. Yes. And we talked with them for a while and they were very social and, you know, but again, very attractive.

So I talked to them for a few minutes and then I came back over behind you and then our friend, the other husband was, he was closer to them. So he went over and started talking to them. I happened to look up and our friend. Who is normally unflappable. Yes. He's looking at me and his eyes are as big as saucers and he's giving me the come hither with his index finger. He goes, come over here. Come over here. I need you. Come over here. And I'm going, oh my gosh, what's going on over there? So I left you two ladies and I walked over to him and he's with talking with this other couple.

And he says, they know about us. And I said, what? Know about what? He said, they know, they know, they can tell. I said, what are you talking about? And he said, I said, do you mean the fact that we're swingers? And I didn't really want to come out and say it because I suspected that's what he was talking about. But he didn't say the word. He was like waiting for me to say the word. And I said, oh, they know that we're swingers. And he said, yes. And so I turned to the couple and they were laughing.

And I asked our friend, I friend i said well what did he say to you and he said he just turned around and looked at me and said you guys are swingers aren't you i mean it wasn't even it wasn't even a question it wasn't even beating around the bush it was like you guys are swingers aren't you so i turned to the guy and i think because you and i are more public and a little bit more out than our friends, I think he just needed me over there to have the conversation. So I started talking to the guy, and I said, yeah, we are, and we're here together, and what's your story?

And he said, well, you've been in the lifestyle for six years, and we're meeting some people here tomorrow, but they're not in the lifestyle. They're just coming down to have vacation with us and i said well how could you tell was it a black i didn't say this but i'm thinking is there a black ring is it you know i mean it could have been my fuck me hair and my girlfriend's red lipstick smeared on my face i don't know well first of all the four of us were together and he said give off that vibe. Yeah. You four just gave off that vibe. And he said, we're in this lifestyle.

And we picked up on it right away. And there was no doubt that this is what you guys were doing. And we're like, holy cow. Yeah. And if they didn't have friends coming in the next day, we could have. Totally. Could have had them join our little group.

Well, the last day we were there, they ended up hanging out with us at the pool for a little while yeah they did but then it rained remember and then they they left because it started pouring down rain the other funny thing was while i was over there talking with them at the bar and i had been talking with them for a few minutes i reached in my wallet and i pulled out one of our we got a thing business cards and you looked over and you saw me doing that what is he doing like i didn't even bring any business cards on vacation with me like this was just like vacation yeah so i'm like hey here we are at a vanilla resort and oh my goodness people can still tell that we're swingers it was fun though anyway we had such a good time with our friends and we did and we didn't get sick of each other and I think we're going to do that again sometime yep we had some fun on our rooftop too oh yeah yeah you want to talk about that oh my gosh so they were having well this is it's kind of sad but like the res in the Dominican Republic, you can get some pretty good deals on now because of all of the problems that they've had with people getting, you know, sick and whatever.

Can we just pause in a moment? What? The four bottles of alcohol that were in our room, they have new tamper-proof caps on them. Yes yes there's some sort of a ball bearing inside the cap that you know tells you that it's and we didn't we we did open the gin but we brought the other three bottles home we haven't opened them yet but we had no we had no problems at all yeah anyway go on so it wasn't well and we were staying at a really nice resort. So, you know, I wasn't worried going into the whole thing. But, yeah, there's been so many tragedies in the Dominican Republic.

You know, I think that's kind of affected the occupancy rate and all that. But we had an oceanfront room, and it was a two-story room. Yes. So the bottom was a regular room with a balcony. Right. So my point is that normally we wouldn't have been that extravagant, but they were having really good deals, unfortunately, because the occupancy rate is so low. So we had a beachfrontfront honeymoon two-story terrace suite. Well, and we knew that our friends were going to be there, too.

So when you go out on a balcony, you make a right and go up the stairs, and the whole rooftop, the length of our room, was ours, too. So you walked up onto the roof, and then the backside was a double bed and a plunge pool.

And then towards the middle of the roof was a furniture arrangement like a sofa and coffee table and then on the front looking through the glass uh part of the glass balcony was the ocean but there was another double bed with a canopy there yes so you can imagine we had sex everywhere except we never got in the plunge pool We'll see you got in with my my friend yeah we'll talk about that later yeah but you and i went up there a couple of times too and we would probably not have gotten that room if we weren't going with another couple because that because Because us a lot of privacy.

Yes, because the walls on the sides of it were stucco. Yeah, so you could literally go naked up there and nobody would see you. Right. I mean, it was incredible. So the only bad thing about that rooftop terrace was the coffee table because I got a new vibrating double, or no, not a double dildo, a vibrating dildo for Christmas. With a suction cup on it. Well, right. I asked for it to put in my strap-on because I thought that would be kind of fun. And then I never ended up doing that.

So I still have to try that out i know it's only january right um but it had a suction cup on it so i'm like yeah so one afternoon we came back from the beach early and i'm like let's go upstairs so i get out my new little friend and i like stick him to the coffee table and he wouldn't stick he wouldn't stay i was disappointed because i was gonna do like this like lap dance kind of thing and i was gonna like you know dance on top of the double dildo and like you know kind of make use of him and then it has a remote control with it right so i gave mr jones a remote control and i'm like you know let me do my thing and when i get situated you know turn on the right the vibrating part of it but that stupid thing every time Mr.

Jones a remote control and I'm like, you know, let me do my thing. And when I get situated, you know, turn on the vibrating part of it. But that stupid thing, every time Mr. Jones would turn on the vibrating part, it would like, it would just get excited and it would vibrate too much and it would like lose its suction. So that was an epic fail.

But yeah, but the last day that we were there, we were kind of, we had a a few hours we had a late checkout today that we left and we were getting ready to go to the beach to spend a couple more hours with our friends before we had to leave and i walked up behind you in the bathroom while you were getting ready and i started kind of rubbing up against you i was using my flat iron like i was straightening my hair yeah and mr jones comes up behind me and starts rubbing his cock up against like my butt crack and i'm like dude i have a 410 degree in my hand but you said we have time if we're gonna have sex let's go up on the roof let's do it now yeah so we went back up on the roof one more time before we left but anyway that was an awesome trip now you know what the best part of that little session was what again i was laying on a bed with my head hanging over the side only i was on the rooftop right of a beachfront suite right in the dominican republic yeah so mr jones is, fucking me.

I'm like leaning my head over and I'm like, this is the most beautiful scene I've ever seen while I've been having sex before. Like the beautiful, like the ocean in the Dominican Republic is unspeakably beautiful. Like the turquoise colors you see in pictures is not even as pretty as it is in person right so i got to look at that while you were like yes having your way with me i was it was amazing it was it was good to be me that day yeah it was a fun trip and i think we'll probably talk maybe more about that at snapshot time. Yep. Okay.

Well, before we get too much further into that, let's take a quick break. And when we come back, we're going to talk about kissing and telling. Whether it's a dilemma or something else. Yep. We'll be right back. welcome back to segment two the kiss and tell dilemma yeah i mean most people tell us that they don't kiss and tell right and. And I think... And that's a good thing. Not kissing and telling is probably what most people prefer. Right. Or at least say. You know, others kind of use it as an opportunity to brag. Yeah. And maybe that... Do you think that's a newbie thing?

We'll talk about that a minute oh geez again i'm not following mr jones's outline oh my gosh i don't think it's a newbie thing but i'll tell you why later okay let's not do this we'll do a spoiler alert all right now here's like the the bucket of cold water part that actually is kind of important know, sometimes people say, well, they're kissing and telling because it's a safety or security issue. Right. And that comes closest to it being a legitimate reason to do. And we'll talk about that, too. And you know what? Other people just plain kiss and tell. Yeah.

That's what they do and it's a bragging thing well or you're just open to talking about everything and anyway we're going to talk about all of these different types of scenarios and different types of people because we've run into them all right and you know i think it's a it's all about where is that line of discretion? Or is there a line? Well, yes. There is a line. It's just where is it? Yeah. So to start, we're going to talk about our preference. And I think most people that travel in our circles, it's our preference.

And that is the case for not kissing and telling right so let's start there well you know i think um you know it's just a privacy thing right like i i don't know like think about like take a step back and think about the vanilla world okay like you don't even talk about your own sex life right to your friends and clearly not your family because that's just kind of crazy but um you know think about how discreet you used to be you didn't even talk about your own personal preferences or your own experiences so now you're in the lifestyle and and now what makes it okay to talk about that with other people well i think that's a good point and i think the fact that we are open in the lifestyle and we do have these conversations that people sometimes make the mistake of just assuming that everything is fair game oh good point yeah you know that gosh i was never allowed to talk about this before but now i am allowed to talk about it and there's no social norm around it there's no you know so therefore i don't i don't even maybe stop to understand that there's an ethical you know situation here and i just i just tell all because I don't know any different.

Well, in the lifestyle community, like, like the, the different, like flavors of swinging are so broad, you know, you, you can't fit everybody into the same box. So, so like you said, you step away from vanilla life and all of a sudden there's just this huge open space and you don't know how to properly fit in it and how, you know, where's the level of discretion? You know, that's just kind of an unknown. Right. Well, beyond privacy, I mean, the same thing holds true is it's really nobody else's business.

True,'s fun to talk about it is fun to talk about yeah but it's nobody else's business who you were with oh so see that to me that's kind of like the whole point of tonight's discussion right like there's a difference between talking about your experience and a difference um in talking about your experience as in who you were with right and but i think though when it gets down to it when we and we've we did an episode just a few months ago about consent yeah and in my mind i think in our minds when consent is when we give consent that doesn't mean that we're giving you consent to go talk about what we did right we're giving you consent to play with us and vice versa you're giving us the same consent right but that consent doesn't automatically come along with that the right to name names talk about this with other people and name names right so i think there's a consent issue here as well this is so um this just keeps dragging me back to high school you know because i mean that's what happens in high school people talk yeah yeah you know how and and maybe that's the problem maybe because this is so new your fallback is to you know where you used to be in these situations after being in a especially people that have been in a relationship for a long time you know now you're you're back in this territory where you're you're having experiences with other people well what did you used to do when you had experiences with other people you were in high school or college and you're talking to your friends about it right so now we're talking to our lifestyle friends about it but now all of a sudden it's not cool to name names anymore right also there's a big trust issue involved here and this is big for us like the like the friends that we just went on vacation with one of the reasons that we're such good friends with them is a few years ago we were at naughty in new orleans and we met a couple and the couple that we met unbeknownst to us were really good friends with our good friends right our good friends never even told that other couple who we were i'm not even talking about that we've played together they didn't obviously i didn't say that they didn't even tell them that they knew that we were that wees.

Right, because when they introduced us to them, they just gave them our first names, which means nothing. And then the next day, this new couple that we met came up, and they were like, we can't believe it. We had no idea that you were the Joneses. Our good friends knew you, and they didn't say anything about it. And we would never hold anybody to that standard of not at least saying that you know who we are. But the fact that they did that, that kind of trust that somebody takes to protect us and to protect, that's so, first of all, it's meaningful.

And you know what i think it's sexy it is it's very sexy that we have this private thing that nobody else knows about and it's our little secret right and they didn't share that with somebody and it just makes it more endearing to me to be with them i mean we have a we have another couple that is the exact same way yes and you know they they've told us stories about being in settings where people are talking about us as the joneses and they just they play dumb yeah like you know well you know we we met so-and-so at you know whatever and they don't let on well we even gave them permission we permission.

We said, you know, you guys can go ahead. And they said, no, we're not going to do that. No. We're not going to do that. It's not our place to do that. Well, because a couple I'm talking about, they met us before we even thought about having a podcast. I know, but they still say that. They still say it's not our, we're not going to do that. So it's just. And I adore that about them. Yeah, we hold them in such high regard for that because we know how difficult it is.

We know if we were in their situation and you hear a bunch of people talking about us, how easy it would be to say, oh, yeah, I know them. And then people would say, oh, really? You know, tell us about it. So you would get that gratification that you knew somebody, but they chose not to do that. But both couples we're talking about right now, they don't think of us as the Joneses. They think of us as just us. Right. I mean, you know, blah. Right. So what? We have a podcast. And in my mind, that trust that's there, that allows us to be very, very intimate.

We can do anything, like the couple that we went to to punta cana we can say anything we can do anything we can be ourselves you know we don't have to worry that they are going to say anything or you know to somebody else there there's never that never enters our mind so we're very relaxed right they're not going to kiss and tell no right which is important to us right and and that leads to the strong friendship that we have exactly i mean when you have friends your friends your true friends got your back right and true friends are there through thick and thin and you can tell them anything and so much more in the lifestyle is that I'll see you next time.

right and true friends are there through thick and thin and you can tell them anything and so much more in the lifestyle is that me it's so much more meaningful in the lifestyle because people share such intimate things about themselves and we do as well so there's more there's more reason to need that trust right than there is in real because in real life we don't talk about this we don't talk about our sex lives with people exactly so there's no temptation for other people to talk about it well in the lifestyle that we we do so when people don't talk about that that just that just deepens our friendship with them right and i and i think that kind of just goes back to what I want to keep circling back to is like, it's hard to know where that line is in the lifestyle because it's just, this is not normal, you know?

So I, I guess the, the moral of the story tonight that we're going to keep hitting is that, you know, err on the side of caution. Right. And so not only trust, but for me, it's a matter of respect. Like, I mean, as a gentleman, at least I'm going to use that term loosely as a gentleman, you know, I think it's my responsibility to, you know, to make sure that you're honored or that, that if I'm with another woman, I want to honor her by not talking about her to other people. It's like honoring her as a woman. Yeah. And so I think respect comes into it at that time too.

I mean, honoring somebody and respecting them is one thing, but we get together with another couple we're friends with or we get together with a new couple and you start like swapping lifestyle stories yeah is it okay to talk about the experience well that see that's the whole thing of course it is you can you can talk about your good experiences your bad experiences your funny your funny experiences, your sexy experiences. It's a way to, you know, let other people know what your experiences is and what you're interested in. But the difference is here is you're not naming names.

You're just talking about it's sexy. Right. So when we get together with another couple, we meet them for the first time. We start talking about, you know, the second hour of conversation at dinner when you start getting into sexy talk, you can start talking about your lifestyle experiences. And, of course, everybody should talk about their experience. Yep. It's just sexy. And it's a way to get to know somebody. Right.

like you know what what did they what kind of experiences did they find to be fun or funny or um hot you know when when you can tell an experience you know vaguely in that you're not naming names especially like if you play with like a lot of local couples like that could be really awkward right. You know, you and I travel so much. It's a little easier, I think, for us to be vague and not name names. I don't know that I could ever count the number of times that we've been in a conversation with people and I've just done that fake, duly noted.

Like when I hear somebody telling a story and the woman might say, and he wanted to have anal sex with me and that's only for my husband and I'm like, duly noted. So as you're telling a story, it tells me what's off limits and if I'm paying attention, what you like and what you don't like. So kissing and telling actually has more to do with than just the people that you played with. And, you know, you're kind of telling like your story about what you're into and not into. Right. You know, so you want to be open about that. Right. But you want to be discreet about who you did it with. Right.

And it's a way that you can learn about others and and ask actually grows an individual because if somebody says well you know they asked me if i wanted to do this and i don't know if i'm really interested in that i'd really have to trust the people it kind of intrigues me you know so it gives you a little bit of a hint of what's on the table or what you might be able to talk about with the other couple if they talk about that experience in a good way with another couple and share their fantasies. And it's a way to flirt with people. Definitely. I mean, who doesn't want to talk about sex?

I know. And who doesn't want to watch somebody talk about sex? Because you you can kind of watch somebody tell a story and and tell you know what is it about this experience that's turning them on or scaring them off well it's in a way it's almost like i know you don't like watching porn so we don't have to rehash that but it's like sorry when you hear somebody else telling a story about a positive experience that they had with another couple and they start to get flush in the cheeks and they start to, you know, flirt a little bit and they start to get turned on, that's good for you. Right.

You know, so asking questions about that experience when they're talking about without asking, well, who were you with? Right. It's like, oh, why did you, you know, have you ever done that before? Why did that turn you on? and we'll see you next time.

about that experience when they're talking about without without asking well who were you with right it's like oh why did you know have you ever done that before why did that turn you on and what was it about him so that whole storytelling conversation about the experience you had with a couple gives us the chance to say oh tell me more about that or yeah that happened to us one time let me tell you about my story when that happened. Right. Right. But just keep it vague. And can I defend myself for a second? About porn? Yes. Yeah, go ahead.

Think about the experiences we've had over the past five years. Yeah. Why do I need to watch porn? Like, I've got it all in my head. You know, we've had some pretty, like, crazy fun because what it comes down to is like things that you and i can do together like at together we can't watch porn as a couple because i like it and you don't like it it would be like sex toys it would be like anything else like if you wanted to use sex toys and i was jealous of sex toys, it wouldn't work out. Right. So it has to do with just you and me. I know, but porn puts me to sleep.

I can't lay there still for that long and not get sleepy. Okay. We had, like actually this week, there was like this long discussion in our ladies group and our community about porn, and I don't think I'm alone. I'm not afraid to say I don't like it. Okay, this is depressing. Okay. What? It's not depressing. It is for me, because that's where I like to learn. I get ideas from watching porn. It's not real, honey. Honey, you're not listening to me. Nobody has a 25-minute orgasm. No, but if you go on some porn sites that are free, there's all kinds of things you can learn.

Okay, now amateur porn is totally different. Well, speaking of that. And most porn stars, like I don't want their dicks near me because they're too big. Honey, see, you're just. That would hurt.

Okay okay what you've just done is you've just thrown down the gauntlet and i am gonna prove to you that porn is not what you think it is because the porn that you and i ever watch was on dvds and it was movies now you're aging now what's now what's online is amateur porn as a matter of fact uh porn hub just released their 2019 most searched categories on their website and amateur was number one so that's to your point people don't want to see porn stars they want to see people that look like them and act like them and do things like them and that's what i like to watch because i like to get ideas like oh man i never thought of that that's pretty cool you know we could do that but But I've got all that in my oh, man, I never thought of that.

That's pretty cool. You know, we could do that. But I've got all that in my head. No, you don't. What? You've never even seen half the shit that people do. Well, I've seen stuff that we've done. I know, but that's pretty amazing. I'm learning from watching other people. Well, I'm learning from watching us do it.

All right's pretty amazing that's a whole nother topic let's get back to kissing and telling so so i think before we move on to the kissing and telling aspect of it um let's not let's let's talk about us as podcasters because people could say that you know you guys are hypocritical because you have a podcast and you talk about your experiences we try really hard to keep it vague okay what do you mean by vague well okay so we just got back from desire a month ago and there were what 60 something couples there that we traveled with and we i don't know like I, like, I don't even want to like, no, but we try really hard to be discreet about who we play with there.

I don't know. Like we don't pick up a couple in a disco and grab hands with them. Like I don't grab the other husband's hand and you grab the other wife's hand and we walk out. Like really that's not our style our technique our method whatever um so we we try to be discreet are people really watching that closely i hope not i hope they're having their own fun yeah you're talking about us as podcasters at an event i'm talking about us as podcasting right now.

when we talk just like we did for the past half hour 71 recordings we talked about the we talked about times we had with other people but we do that carefully we do that because we first of all we don't't share their names. That's not important. Because in our podcast, we want to talk about our experiences, good, bad, or indifferent. We talk about the experience. And we separate that from the individual. So in my mind, that's not kissing and telling. And podcasters have to walk this fine line of how much do you share about experiences that you have We'll see you next time.

mind that's not kissing and telling it's and and podcasters have to walk this fine line of how much do you share about experiences that you have with other people because you're you're going to potentially hurt somebody's feelings if it's a negative experience or a bad experience well and one thing that time is on our side here but one thing that we've been able to do is kind of mix up the timeline a little yeah you know so like the things that we talk about may not have happened two weeks ago they might have happened a year ago right and and we have the the liberty of kind of mixing that up a little bit um especially when it's something that we've had to learn from to put it nicely right um you know we we don't have perfect experiences every time no we don't and and let's just say that that's part of what we're doing we're we're sharing ourselves to help people learn and avoid we're doing this to help other people decide to help people learn and avoid.

We're doing this to help other people decide what's good for them and what they want to try. And we're being vulnerable. I mean, we're putting ourselves out there at the risk of people disagreeing with us or getting their feelings hurt about us, about what we say. And especially now, more so than at the beginning, we don't play with people unless they know we have a podcast because we want to give them an out. If they think, oh my God, they're going to talk about us and I don't want my experience being put out there, we want them to have that out.

Right, and what's unfair for the people that we play with where we don't have a great experience is they don't have a platform to get out and say the same thing about us because we've probably had experiences with people where we were a bad experience for them. Right.

But we know it because there's two sides to every story exactly yeah exactly and we know that yes i mean we've i mean i i have my own struggles that i constantly struggle with and i know it affects the way my experience is with other people right so we don't think it's important the mission and the vision and the way that we structure our podcast knowing who it is that we play with is irrelevant and not important the important thing is the experience itself yeah whether we were right or we were wrong or the other couple was right or wrong that's really what we're trying to get at is sharing the experience and and even sometimes i think if we were to share names or name people it almost distracts people from the message that we're trying to exactly to convey because it doesn't really matter who no as far as the podcast goes it matters to us individually because we care about these people and we know them.

Right, good experience or bad experience. Right, right. I mean, there's some level of caring there because we wouldn't have even initiated the interaction if there wasn't something there. Right. Okay. So I think we've covered kind of our preference and what we believe most people that we interact with, that we're going to be close with, share the same idea about it's not a good idea to kiss and tell. Okay, but. When is it okay to kiss and tell? Or is it ever okay? Well, safety and security, honey. I'm a girl. I'm vulnerable. Yeah. Safety and security.

Okay, so specifically what do you mean by that? Okay, I'll give you a very specific example. Let's say we play with a couple. Full swap. Oh, yeah, in i'm all in condoms oh of course of course condoms and then we're playing and all of a sudden the guy is like trying to like slip in from behind and i reach my hand back there and there's no condom. Okay. That's not okay. I agree. And that has happened to us. So what's your question? Okay. So that happens. You and I deal with it. We walk away, and like, I can't believe that just happened, but it did, and, you know, we've been duped and whatever.

So then let's say, I don't know, let's just say we're at NIN or Desire, like a multi-day thing. And then we see good friends of ours start interacting with this couple we just had this really bad experience with. And we can see like the snowball starting to roll down the hill. What do we do? So what about security? Do you mean something about somebody hurting you physically? Emotionally more than physically. I mean, I don't know. Like, yes, there could be a situation where somebody could overpower you. Right. But then I also know that you're like, you and I are same room.

So you're always within arm's reach of me. So I'm never really, the whole security thing. No, but that's a good point for people who play separately. Oh, sorry. My ton of vision here. Yeah. So yeah so like security you know that could be definitely an issue if somebody crossed a line right when i was by myself in another room with another gentleman right that's scary stuff right so and i mean the bottom line is i'm i'm in pretty good shape for a but I'm also 5'4 and couldn't really beat the shit out of anybody.

I think what both you and I are saying is that if there's ever a good reason to kiss and tell, it would be because of safety and security. Right. We would tell. Yes. We would tell. Yes. Whether it's don't do it or whether it's, hey, let me share my experience. We're telling. Right. It doesn't matter whether it's an acquaintance or a good friend.

I don't do it or whether it's hey let me share my experience we're telling right it doesn't matter whether it's an acquaintance or a good friend i don't want any female to experience potentially what i dodged a bullet on with this guy right okay so that's that's a legitimate yeah issue here's another one that we see all the time and especially on dating websites you certify or vouch for another couple like if you think about this on a website this is awkward when you certify somebody or vouch for somebody basically saying i've had sex with these people and they're okay yeah they're a good fuck i mean seriously so like that's pretty subjective i understand i understand it's like reviews in a podcast or it's like uh reviews for your uber driver you know i understand the premise behind it but really what you're saying is that i've had sex with them yeah so that kissing and telling.

But the reason that you're doing it, that this website actually promotes it. It's a feature. You know, you can go in and you can say, I've had sex with these people and you should have sex with them too. I mean, people don't come out and say it like that, but that's really what it means. Yeah, that's true. So you might be tempted to fill out that certification or that recommendation, not really understanding what you're doing because you're new to this and this website's saying that, hey, the more certifications you have, the more legitimate you are. I'm not so sure about that.

What do you think about that? I don't know. It's really awkward. I mean, I don't know. That takes me back to high school. I said that before. It just seems awkward like, oh yeah, we had a ton of fun with them. You're going to have fun with them too. That's not true. Everybody's going to have a different experience because just the dynamic among the four people is gonna be different. So you cannot vouch for somebody. Like you could vouch for them in the fact that, yeah, he wore a condom when I asked him to wear a condom or we're a soft swap couple and they adhered to that.

But as far as them being like fun or you know cool or i don't know you you can't even vouch for the fact that they don't have stis like who can even do that right so i think it's a bunch of baloney okay well here's a legitimate reason why you can kiss and tell and that's that somebody just gives you consent to kiss and say it true i mean if we have sex together and you're like in among a circle of friends in your local area yeah and you all know each other and you're like hey have at it go tell i don't care who you tell that we had sex well yeah all bets are off at that point in time because you're not harming anybody yeah i mean we know a couple like clusters of friends that are very open about who they play oh yeah and and there's no shame and there's no guilt or there's no whatever and good for them right i mean they're they're having fun and and it works for them so here's something here's the i think this is the tricky one.

So I'm going to ask you. What if you just have, this is not a safety or security issue. What if you just have a bad experience with a couple? No. Okay. Don't kiss and tell. Because maybe the bad experience was because you did not have a four-way connection. Okay. And your friends that are asking about this other couple, maybe the four of them are going to click and it's going to be awesome. So the person that shares that they had a bad experience might be tainting your judgment of another person because they want you to think that they're not the ones that were in the wrong. Exactly.

Like, who's to say the bad experience is on the other couple and not the girlfriend telling you? Right, exactly. Like, that's crazy. So just be careful if people share about, like, a bad we're going to talk more about like who created that bad experiences or maybe maybe that bad experience wasn't created maybe there was never chemistry to begin with and the four people should have never even attempted to get together so i think i think before we move into that we agree that a bad experience is no excuse for kissing and telling. Right, right.

There's a difference between a bad experience and the whole safety security thing. So let's talk about things to consider before you kiss and tell, which is going to lead right into that. So there are two sides to every story. That's exactly what I was just saying.

right like but now i'm giving you permission to say it i'm allowed to rant now well it's in the outline good lord okay so now i'm allowed to rant so yeah i mean there are definitely two sides to every story like you and i are not perfect lovers i mean we're pretty good together but as far as how other people perceive us like who knows what's going through their head right you know sometimes we have fun and they probably walk away like what the hell was that i don't know i know like you don't you don't know so you can't you can't take one side of a story as the gospel right so just keep keep that in mind and most and the thing But you can't take one side of a story as the gospel.

Right. So just keep that in mind. And the thing is, is you could really miss a great opportunity. Because friends of yours had a crappy experience with this super cool couple that you're really interested in. And your friends are like, oh, no, blah. And then you're listening to all this garbage.

And you're thinking, oh, my we just dodged a bullet well who knows like right maybe your connection with that friend well you don't know this other side of the story exactly that's the point exactly okay the next thing is that you played a role in the outcome so if you have a bad experience with somebody if somebody tells you i had a bad experience with them well what was your role in that bad experience did you have anything to do with that because you you were there did did is something that you said is something that you did something you didn't pick up on you know you were there you played a role so almost when you share a bad experience you have to assume that the person that's sharing that with you played a role and maybe it wasn't maybe it wasn't their fault but you know what what level of effort did they put in to fix it or, you know, whatever?

Right. It reminds me of when, this was a long time ago. Remember, we went on vacation to Massachusetts and we got into a car accident? Oh, yeah. And it was clearly the other person's fault. But the state of Massachusetts, they assigned blame in percentages.

Like, was it 90% your fault, 80% 80% your fault 70% and at the time it irritated me because it was 100% which it turned out to be 100% the other person's fault but the bottom line is here is that any bad experience or any accident you can almost certainly say that the person who was not guilty played somewhat of a role, whether it was 10% or 20% of that bad experience. Right. What did they do to manage the situation or improve the situation? And you don't know what their contribution had to do with it. You don't know if their contribution, how that affected the bad experience.

So keep, these are just things to keep in mind. Another thing is the dynamics are different for each couple. Right. That's kind of the point I was trying to make earlier. Like, you know, just because your best lifestyle friends have a shitty experience with somebody doesn't mean that you're going to have the same experience with that couple, because it's going to be a completely different balance of chemistry and dynamics between, you know, that husband and wife and you and your spouse. That's right.

Because if there's chemistry between me and another woman, that chemistry is going to create an opportunity where if she does something to me, and even if it's negative, I'm not going to take it that way because we have this connection and this chemistry. But if you don't have that connection and something goes wrong, you might perceive it to be intentional. Right. So this dynamic that you have with a couple could be completely different than the people that are sharing something with you. Right.

And I think the other thing that is huge here that we haven't talked about at all tonight is that what are you doing to your own reputation when you're going around saying, oh, don't play with this couple because blah. Or not, no. And don't play with that couple because this happened to us and blah. Honey, honey, it's not even that. What? I get your point. But it's even when somebody comes to me and says they did play with that couple and it was a good experience.

I'm thinking, okay, if you're telling me about an experience you had with another couple, then the likelihood that you're going to go to some other person and tell them about our play experience is pretty high. Even if it's a good experience. Oh, yeah, that kind of sucks. But it's the same thing, to your point. It's about credibility and trust with others. If you're talking to me about other people, then I know that you're going to talk about other people with me. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't want that.

Like, I don't want to be in the middle of play with you and having like my brain spinning going, oh my God, they're going to talk about this with other people. Right. And if you do that, you need to keep in mind that you're going to lose play opportunities. Yeah. Because you're going to get a reputation. Because I'm going to write, I'm going to say, well, I'm not interested in playing with you.

It's, you just ruined it because you're going to get a reputation because i'm going to write i'm going to say well i'm not interested in playing with you it's you just ruined it because you're talking to me about somebody else i know you're going to talk about me i'm no longer interested so you lose opportunities for a point again just to kind of clarify it's not that you're telling me sexy stories about things that you've done in the lifestyle no it's that you're naming the names as you're telling me the sexy stories about the things that you've done in the lifestyle right i mean that isn't that really what tonight's topic is all about it is okay yes and it's also about living and learning so if back to the point if i'm the person who had a bad experience and let's say 80% was not my fault and 20% was my fault, instead of telling other people, I could look at that and say, okay, I'm partially responsible for this.

I didn't use my words. Or I let him do this longer than I should have. Or I let her do this. So instead of telling other people about it and making a big deal about it, I'm going to correct my behavior. So the next time that that doesn't happen. Yeah. So sometimes we don't like to accept responsibility for our portion of what we did wrong. We would rather tell other people that somebody wronged me. It makes us feel better about ourselves. Okay.

So here's a question and since I'm I'm asking all the questions tonight great it's easier for me what do you do when another couple comes to you and says hey Mr. and Mrs. Jones we're about ready to go out on a date with this other couple. Do you know them? What can you tell us about them? And did you play with them? And should we play with them? What do you do in that situation? As long as it wasn't the dude that tried to like have sex with me without a condom, without my consent, I would say, oh my gosh, I'm so glad that you guys got a chance to meet them, blah.

And I would totally like put the ball back in their court about, my gosh, I'm so glad that you guys got a chance to meet them, blah. And I would totally put the ball back in their court about, good for you, let's see how this plays out. Okay, so what you're saying is, whether it was a bad experience, a neutral experience, or a good experience, that would be your answer. Yes. Okay. As long as it wasn't a safety or security issue. Even if it were a bad experience. Don't you think you would be tempted?

If you had a bad experience, would you be tempted to tell them something negative about the other couple to make yourself feel better about the experience that you had? Of course that would run through your mind. But I think you and I have been doing this long enough I'm sorry. experience that you had of course that would run through your mind but i think you and i have been doing this long enough that we realize that every dynamic between couples is different right so even if it's like really really good friends of ours and we think oh they're just like us. They're just like us.

You know, that doesn't mean that they're going to be attracted to the same couples that we're going to be attracted to or have the same chemistry that we've had. Right. So encourage the exploration. I mean, isn't that what this is all about? Yes, it is. It's about meeting new people and having new and different types of experiences. You have to be unselfish in this lifestyle. Yes. You have to look at other people and say, okay, even if I had a bad experience with that couple and I wanted to have a good experience with that couple and they're attractive, I have to say, good for you guys. Right.

Best of luck with that and we hope you attractive I have to say good for you guys right best of luck with that and we hope you have a good time right and on the I mean and then turn the tables right around I mean this doesn't really have anything to do with kissing and telling but even if they're good friends of yours and and you've had a good experience with another couple let them enjoy that connection like't, don't sabotage anything for your own personal interests. Right. You know, because friends are friends at the end, at the end of the day, this is between you and your partner. Right.

Not between you and another couple. Let them have their own experiences as long as it's a safe environment. Yeah. And I think before we close this up, we have to talk again about us as podcasters because we realize that people talk about their experiences with us. I mean, we accept the responsibility that we are podcasters and we are semi-celebrities. And even though I hate to use that word. We just have notoriety. That's what people think. So we understand, we know that we are vulnerable for other people to talk about being with us.

And even though that's not our preference, we accept the fact that people are going to do that.

with the territory the microphones we just hope that it's a good story it isn't always but most of the time it is yeah and then that and that's and there are people that get upset and there are people that say negative things about us and you know what we have to just live with that because we have bad experiences too yeah we talk about bad experiences too so but we have so much fun it all it just goes with the territory that's right um and most most are done because of who we are you know because of of us being podcasters right not okay Not... Okay, so there's been a couple of times.

And I would... There's only one that really jumps out at me, but I'm sure there's more that I'm not really willing to acknowledge where we've played with people because... Oh, we're guilty of that a couple of times. Oh, I'm only thinking really once. Yeah. You got more, huh? Yeah. No, no, I know the one that you're talking about. Yeah, I know. They totally like played with us because of who we are and not because of our real selves. We give this, we sit here and we talk about we want people to be with us because of who we are, not because we're the Joneses.

If we're completely honest, there's been a couple of times when there have been couples that have been just way out of our league that wanted to play with us, and we totally did. And we totally took advantage of that. I mean, just to be honest about it.

Yeah, they played with the Joneses, not who we really are which which brings up another point while we're on this topic and that is because we have this podcast and because we've been around for a while and because people think that we're wise quote unquote and that we sit here and we talk about you know all of these things people have the idea that we're perfect. People have the idea that we're to be held to a different standard, and that maybe we don't make mistakes. And we totally make mistakes. Oh, our friends know that. Yes. We make mistakes with our friends.

We make mistakes during play, which you've heard Mrs.

Jones berate me about lately lately we make mistakes that affect our relationship and we make mistakes that affect our friendships we are human and we don't want to be held to a higher level uh because of accountability because we have a podcast we're sharing real shit and yeah we're not we're not here telling people that we're perfect you may perceive that because of how we sound or what you think right but that's not on us because we're always telling you that we are not perfect we've had to apologize to people on air we have made mistakes and we continue to make mistakes so because we're human yeah we're human so the fact that we have this podcast doesn't make us any different no it just makes us crazy for actually putting it all out there yeah so it just goes with the territory yeah um but the bottom line is our best friends keep it to themselves yes and we do the same for our best friends that's why they're our best friends yeah yeah and i don't know i i feel like that the vast majority of the people in the lifestyle have this mindset yeah um sometimes when you're new to the lifestyle you have to learn where that new line is because you've spent your whole life keeping this stuff quiet, like I said earlier, and now all of a sudden, you have this freedom to express what's on your mind with other people.

So you're having to draw new lines in the sand. And we're all learning and hopefully growing. And that isn't that the point i mean we want to keep growing as individuals and and then growing closer together as a couple right um so as long as you're doing that not at the expense of others right then it's all good so here's the bottom line at the end of the day? It's you and me. Yeah. So if people talk about us, or they don't talk about us, or they're friends with us, or they're not friends with us, or they have good experiences with us, or they don't. Yeah. Obviously, we want it to be all good.

But at the end of the day, as long as you and I are good, that's the main thing. That's right. So are we good good I think we're pretty damn good okay anything else before we close no I think I think we hit it all I mean anything else is just beating a dead horse yeah I mean our preferences don't kiss and tell right but hey to each their own yeah that's that's true. All right, when we come back. We're going to kiss and tell. No, we're just going to tell. Yes, we're going to tell. No names. All right. Okay. We'll be right back.

okay welcome back to snapchat's where we kiss and tell no names no names included though how appropriate we're not going to mention names we're going to mention the trip we were on oh my goodness so at putacana i'm just gonna go first you go right ahead so we were up on that balcony that we described one night with our friends yeah and the other woman and i were sitting in we had we had finished playing and we were sitting with our feet in the plunge pool at the back of the roof. Yeah. You and her husband were on the bed, the canopy bed, up near the front of the roof, overlooking the ocean.

Oh, yes. It was amazing. So we were probably about 20 feet away from you. As you recalled it, I think the words that you used was, you guys were going at it for quite some time. And he said something like, I'm getting a little tired. Why don't you just sit on my face for a while? And my response was like, okay. So we don't hear that dialogue, but we're back talking to each other and we're watching you guys, just thoroughly enjoying that. And then all of a sudden, you sit on his face and you're facing us and your back is to the ocean. And you're obviously having a good time.

And then you start grinding back and forth. And as a guy, I'm thinking, I hope he can breathe i always worry about that like i really i struggle with sitting on somebody's face because of that like how like how deep do i squat like do i give them room where they have to reach up a little anyway before you before you ruin this you were on your knees and you had straddled his face and his hands were like around your ass and you lifted your arms up. You started like dancing. You started like wiggling back and forth, like your torso, like you were twisting.

And then you put your arms up in the air above your head. Well, it was a canopy bed. So I think I was holding on to one of them. No, you weren't holding on. No, I wasn't. I was watching closely.

Like you were like well it was a canopy bed so i think i was holding on to one of them no you weren't holding on no i wasn't i was watching closely you were like it was like dancing you were you had your hands above your head and you were going back and forth and you were oh we had music on didn't we yes we did we had music on and you were kind of dancing with the music while you were sitting on this face and both she and i looked and if i could have found my if i would have the my phone was being used to provide the music oh right and i didn't know the bluetooth would go that far but if it i would have grabbed my camera and taken another picture because that watching you so from our point of view he was laying on the bed you were sitting on his face you were facing us you had your hands above your head you were totally totally comfortable and relaxed and you didn't give a shit like who was watching you or what was going on in the back behind you was the ocean and the moon and the stars in the sky and the breeze it was a perfect night yeah that that snapshot right there of you doing that with him was amazing.

Yeah. That was a fun night. Yeah. That snapshot right there of you doing that with him was amazing. Yeah. That was a fun night. Yeah. Okay. Well, same bed, different night. Okay. Now I got to provide the comic relief because that was just too hot. So I think this was our last night. It was our last night there. So we're having fun, same bed on the ocean. And we all had fun that night. I mean, we always have fun with them. So we had played for a long time.

And at one point, I think this was a night where we swapped back to our own spouses to kind of finish off the evening yeah sometimes we do with that with them and sometimes we don't um anyway i was back with you and we had been playing for a long time and there was a bottle of lube out that night and it with silicone lube. And you and I, we had been playing with toys and stuff. So you and I, we had been playing with toys and stuff. So you and I were ready to kind of like finish things up. So you, you said, do you need some lube? And I said, yes.

So you grabbed the lube and you squirted it on and then you, you reached up and you put it down like next to my head. Well, unbeknownstst to anybody the loo was still open so it was leaking onto the bed which was right next to my long straight hair yeah so you and i had fun we finished and and everything was great our friends went home and this was like stupid like three o'clock in the morning kind of time so the next morning i get up I'll see you next time.

finished and and everything was great our friends went home and this was like stupid like three o'clock in the morning kind of time so the next morning i get up and you're like okay let's go to breakfast because they had a like a really cool buffet there with like all this like fresh exotic fruit and all this stuff so you're like let's go to breakfast so you go to get coffee while i'm getting myself ready and i walk into the bathroom and i'm like what is wrong with my hair like i had just washed it the day before i only washed my hair like every other day we're on vacation so i'm like what is wrong with my hair and i look at it and like the whole left side of my hair is like strings of grease well come to find out the lube had leaked on the bed and then i had rolled my head around in it so like the whole left side of my hair was just this stringy gross lube soaked hair i guess that's a good hair treatment because my hair was very happy however um it took like a half a bottle of dry shampoo to like soak up the lube in my hair so i could go to breakfast with all these vanilla people like a desire that could have been a badge of honor like look at all this silicone lube in my hair like at a vanilla resort i would be like oh my goodness you already went out in public with just fuck me hair.

I know. What's the difference? And I got lube. At least it wasn't cum that was stuck in your hair. Yeah, that probably happened that week, too. But, yeah. No, the lube was pretty obvious. But, yeah, none of the other vanillas at the resort would have understood why my hair was greasy.

They probably just thought I didn't wash it that week.hots you could have picked for that week you picked the lube in your hair that's when i think back to that week i'm like i just remember walking in the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror like what is wrong with my hair oh boy no we had fun that week there, lots of sexy times. All right. Lots of new naughty stocking sex toys that got tried out that week. Oh, yeah, definitely. We still have a lot of naughty stocking stuff we haven't tried yet. Yes. So, Happy New Year, everyone. Happy January 2020. Yep.

That's good to start another decade. Yeah, not only Happy New Year, Happy New Decade. Yeah. So before we go, we've had quite a few new members in our membership community since January 1st. I think a lot of people have created the lifestyle as their New Year's resolution. I think so. Our community is exploding. Wegotathing.com. If you'd like to join our community, that would be great. You won't be the only new folks in there. Yes.

And please, also, if you're interested in joining a dating website, you can join Cassidy or Double Date Nation just by going to our website and clicking on the link there and get 90 days for free. Yep.

Don't about podcastapalooza there's a few rooms left may is uh coming up before you know it you can book that on our website as well as your desire trip so whether you're going to go to desire in november with us yes or anytime during the year or you want to stay in the mansion that's right we've got regular rooms we can offer for a discount and we have the mansion that we can offer for a discount yeah and thank you all for emailing us we'd love to hear from you you can email me at mrjones at we got a thing.com or me at mrs jones at we got a thing.com you can send us a message on our website we got a thing.com w-e-g-o-T-T-A-T-H-I-N-G.com.

And supposedly we're on Twitter and Instagram and Pinterest. What do you know? Clearly I'm not the social media person of the couple. No, you're not. No, I'm not. Okay, well, thanks for listening. We are Mr. and Mrs. Jones, and we got a thing. What's your thing? We'll see you next time.