Episode 70: Desire 2019- Reflections by the Ladies

Transcript

This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us?

hello everyone i'm mr jones and i'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 70 of the we got a thing podcast reflections by the ladies of desire yeah desire 2019 in the books yes we'll get to that in a minute we've been quite busy lately with our desire trip yeah i'm telling you like having family out of town and rolling in from desire on late saturday night and rolling back out on early wednesday morning for thanksgiving yeah is not cool and now before we get to that, we're going to jump ahead because we've announced our desire 2020 date, speaking of desire.

So the 14th through the 21st of November of 2020, we're going to be back at desire pearl. And we've had several couples sign up already. And we know this event will sell out probably in the next month or two. It's a popular week, whether you're traveling with us or not with us. It's just, I think people like to get away before the holidays. So we had like 10 or 15 couples on a waiting list this year, so don't wait. Yeah. Go ahead and visit our website and sign up, and then reach out to us and let us know that you've signed up and we're already planning for next year. That's right.

We've got quite the guest list already. So, yeah, check out our website and click on through there and get signed up. And speaking of sold out, we announced our next We Got a Thing event in Austin, Texas, the weekend of February 6th through 9th of 2020. And I say we're technically sold out, but you're saying we're going to let a few more people in. Well, the reason we're going to let a few more people in, we said we would cap it at 50 couples. First of all, unfortunately, life gets in the way. And know that, you know, some couples will have to cancel for, you know, whatever reasons.

So we're kind of like planning on that. Now that we've done this a couple of times, we kind of know what our cancellation rate is. And we have a lot of local couples signed up. So our room block at the hotel still has availability.

And then I think the only other thing that we have to, you know, keep an an eye on is the restaurant and i know that how many people the restaurant can hold for our friday night group dinner yeah so even though technically we're just over 50 couples we're gonna we're gonna take a few more couples so it's not too late if you're listening to us the week of december 15th 2019. If it's before Christmas. Yeah. If it's still December, we may have slots left. So send us an email because at this point in time, you need to contact us directly, Mr. Jones at We Got a Thing. Or actually, you should be.

Well, folks have to book by January 7th to get our discounted room rate we we have to um that the cutoff for the hotel contract is 30 days before so you should email mrs jones m-r-s-j-o-n-e-s at we got a thing.com because she's yeah contact the right person please yeah i'm just gonna forward you over to her mr jones is just a pretty face i do all the coordinating, we're excited that it sold out in a month. I know. I know. It's a great group of people. We know quite a few people that are on the list, but then we've had a lot of people that we've never met reach out and sign up. So new friends.

Yeah. And we just had some old friends tell us that they signed up for Podcastapalooza. Yes. In Miami, May 15th through 18th. I think it's about 70% sold out at this point in time. And that's definitely going to sell out. Yeah. I mean, this is a boutique hotel. So 70% means there's not a lot of space left. Right. So if you're thinking about going, you need to go ahead and make sure that you secure your spot. Yep. So that's what we have coming up. We hope that we will meet you out and about sometime in 2020.

We're going to add an event in 2020, but we aren't going to do that until probably January or February. Right. So just visit our website and go to the event section and you'll see everything that we just talked about. Yes. Or send us a message and we'd be glad to send you more information. Definitely.

the way you look extremely sexy tonight thank you what is that thing that you're wearing well it's just a it's a little bodysuit um it might be a little sheer and it might have a ridiculously big keyhole in the middle of my boobs yeah and if you look really hard i think you can see my nipples because it's sheer yeah but it's leopard so it's kind of like camouflage yeah leopard matches your hair yeah and it's got all these straps on the back and then you have leather pants on and we're recording at what like 4 30 in the afternoon oh no it's 5 30 um because why what's tonight tonight is naughty stocking i know i can't wait we have to do it early because like we have all this family stuff coming up and then oh woe is us we're leaving like the very the early morning after christmas to go on vacation yes with lifestyle friends yes at a vanilla resort yeah so on a beach it's not gonna suck yeah so we need to get through this podcast so that we can go eat dinner and have naughty stockings and I can have my way with you.

Yeah. And then we have to have time to play with what's in our naughty stockings. I know. I know. Well, and I do want to play with you a little bit. Okay. Now I'm going to let you have your desire orgasm. Oh my gosh. Desire. Every time we go, I'm like, oh, this is the best trip.

So we're just going to hit the highlights because we've been to desire so many times and you guys have heard about the resort so we did a group lunch one day but talk about and this is going to kind of bleed into why we chose this topic tonight but talk about the ladies cocktail hour and the and the sexy swap meet that the ladies had so like on tuesday morning i did um a ladies only cocktails and conversation party in the disco they opened up the disco for us they put a bartender in there with mimosas and and all kinds of yummy drinks think about this ladies are already talkative so when you add cocktails to the mix i know and then you add conversation to the, I'm surprised you guys ever came out of that.

I had to say, we need to leave. Our husbands are standing in the pool, and the sun's out, and they're all standing there like cows in a pond, just not knowing what to do. So we had to actually end it. We could have spent the whole afternoon in there. So how was the ladies cocktail hour? It was incredible.

Like incredible like so what we we just kind of like all started congregating in there and and people started like chatting in these little like groups or whatever and i was trying to figure out how to get everybody's attention and we ended up doing this big circle um we all got chairs and set them up around the the dance floor like if you've ever been to Desire their dance floor is like a raised platform because it has like lights under it and all that stuff so we just kind of like circled up chairs around the the dance floor and I think there were probably like 40 ladies that attended so we all had mimosas and even while we were talking the bartender kept walking around he had a pitcher of orange juice in one hand and a bottle of champagne in the other hand.

And he just kept us going the whole time. It was incredible. So we kind of went around the circle at first and just said, you know, my name's Mrs. Jones and I'm from Virginia and I've been in the lifestyle six years. And it was kind of that way at first. And then all of a sudden, ladies would just start saying, you know, I've got a question about this. And they would throw like this random question out there. And then of course- Random lifestyle question. Yeah, a random lifestyle question. And then they had 39 other ladies to like listen to. Gab with. Oh my gosh, it was just so organic.

Like I didn't have a script, I had nothing. I just knew if we put a room full of ladies with some mimosas in a room um that it would go well and and I honestly can't even really remember the tapas we talked about and it was kind of confidential anyway so I don't know like ladies need an outlet to have these conversations. Like all the crap we have in our heads about our sexuality and, and our, you know, what is my, what, what, you know, like my spouse is suggesting this and I don't really know what to think about it and I don't know how to respond to it.

And like all of this stuff is in our heads and we have nobody to talk to. So to have a room of 40 women that are not necessarily in the lifestyle, but at least open to having, you know, sexual experiences, even if it's just fantasy life outside of your marriage bed, so to speak, it was so empowering and so refreshing.

Like there was there was nothing off limits yeah and the guys were kind of disappointed okay so when i walked in there i got there a few minutes early and i met the bartender and he made me a mimosa and the guest services manager walks in and he kind of looks around there was probably like maybe 10 ladies in the in the disco at that point and the lighting was kind of low Then he walked in and at first he was like, is the lighting okay? And they had like music playing in the background. And he's like, is the volume okay? And I'm like, yeah, this is amazing. Thank you so much, Antonio.

And he said, Mrs. Jones, I need to speak to you privately. And I was like, okay. But there were other women around me. And he said, no, Mrs. Jones, may I speak to you privately over here?

So he draws me off into a corner where there were other women around me and he said no mrs jones may i speak to you privately over here so he he draws me off into a corner where there were no other ladies and he said i'm not really sure what you had planned for today but he said i knew it was going to be all ladies and he said i i don't know what your plans are but in case you need it we set up the playroom for you Antonio is my man he's my man because the guys when you ladies came back out to the pool, we don't want to hear this crap about you talking for an hour and a half.

We want to hear about the pillow fights and the honey that you dripped all over each other and the daisy chains. I know. I know. And the sex toys. And the playroom was ready for us. And all you did was. He was so sweet. He was like blushing as he's telling me this and he works at Desire for goodness sake. Yeah. So, no, I don't even know what to say. Like just having that freedom to say whatever is on your mind and not a care in the world about being judged was just an amazing experience. So what happened at the sexy swap meet?

Oh, so then what we did is ahead of time in our, our little desire chat in MeWe that we had going, um, I threw it out there. I'm like, hey ladies, if you have any like club dresses or lingerie or whatever, that it doesn't fit you right or you're just tired of or whatever, let's do a swap meet. So ladies, if you have any like club dresses or lingerie or whatever that it doesn't fit you right or you're just tired of or whatever, let's do a swap meet.

So ladies brought literally like bags of clothes and we put them all out on, they have these like high top long tables on each side of the bar and the disco at Pearl. And we like had like piles of dresses that were, this table's like 12 feet long.

And then and then after so finally after like an hour and a half of conversation i'm like ladies we have got to stop talking because our husbands are going to kill us if we don't leave and and they were like oh we still have to do the swap meet so i would say 30 out of the 40 of us stayed and we literally just stripped down and started trying on dresses so we were naked in the disco oh now we're getting some i know and like we were helping each other like adjust the straps and and you know like ladies club dresses can be complicated so you know a lady would kind of hold something up and you and you'd see like her head like how in the hell am i supposed to put this on and somebody would come over and say that's my dress this is what you do and then they would help the lady in it and and we were just all naked trying stuff on and i brought home three things well you wore one i wore one on neon night yeah the second neon night my shirt yeah mr jones i had gotten him like a bright pink button-down shirt wear for neon night.

And then somebody had put this like bright pink neon, like super deep cow neck slutty club dress in the pile. And it fit me perfectly. Well, let's get away from the lady stuff for a minute. Because we also did a game at the hot tub called Guess the Boobs. Yes.

So the ladies all lined up and the husbands the husbands put a blindfold on and i was hoping to get like six ladies and i ended up with like 15 yeah and they and the guys would kind of go boobs a pair of boobs at a time and try to guess their wives yeah boobs and we would all like switch well i didn't do it because i was like i got to hold every guy's ass ass because they were blindfolded and I had to make sure that they didn't trip or fall back in the hot tub because we were kind of on the edge of the hot tub and people in the hot tub were watching.

So yeah, I got to like hold the hips of every guy. It was a hard job. Every guy went through and then I got called up. Most of the guys were able to find their wives' boobs. Most except for one. No, there were a couple. There were a couple that didn't get it right. And we won't name them. No, we're not naming names, but y'all know who you are. And we love you anyway, and your wife still loves you too. Yeah. So at the end, Mr. Jones does not like to be the center of attention. No. So he was hiding in the hot tub. You were watching. Yeah.

But you were like on the far side of the hot tub watching. Yes. And at the end, I'm like, damn it, I want to play too. So, I went and got you and you were like giving me the death stare at first. But then I got in the lineup of ladies and I found one of my girlfriends, I looked, I kind of looked up and down the line and I found one of my girlfriends who had boobs the same size as mine. And I'm like, come here, come here. And then we stood next to each other and I'll be darned if we blindfolded you and somebody said, you not only have to find your, your Mrs.

Jones's boobs, you have to name every set of boobs as you go down the line. See, that's a mistake to challenge me to something like that. Because I had been watching the whole thing. So there were 13 ladies left at this point. Yeah. So I went down the line and I attempted to name every pair of boobs that I felt.

And I think I got all but two of them right you missed two and the two that you missed the people had just shown up yeah you hadn't really you had barely met them yeah and you hadn't felt most of the ladies boobs maybe a couple a few well okay a few but you were a rock star 11 out of 13 i know and it was ridiculous i know that was amazing i know because he would stand there he had a blindfold on and he would stand there and he'd fill him up and then he would say he would just throw out a name and everybody like what like how did you do that and i actually accused you of cheating when we went back to get ready for dinner i know i was like you were peeking on the bottom of the blindfold my own wife accused me of cheating i know my boobs i pay attention clearly you do i want to talk about the wine cellar dinner but before we do that we had some awesome playtimes with friends we we had playtimes with friends we had met before and and we had playtimes with people we had not met before and they were all awesome yes and i wish we could talk about them all but we can't but they were amazing and then we had so many meals with friends we had dinner with friends we had lunch with friends we had breakfast with friends we we enjoyed you know people kept asking us, do you feel like you're working or do you feel like you have to be on and we just had the best week we socialized with everybody and we got to spend time with people individually right and that's the great thing about going for a week is that we we find time to have individual time with just about everybody.

Well that's the beauty of doing multiple trips to desire pearl because the management at desire pearl had everything in place like you and i never had to run to the lobby to ask for something no they had everything done right so and and we trusted that everything would be in place when it needed to be for you know we do like we only do like one extra event a day but you know so you and i really did have a lot of time to to meet people and and really make some connections this time yeah everybody had a good time although i i did lose my voice on the second day as you're going to hear in a minute minute.

Yeah, we'll get to that in a minute. Yeah, I know. Lord. God. And one last thing before we get to the wine cellar dinner is, you know, at Pearl, they're building these mansions that are like the villas at RM. Yeah. And they were, they're almost done. And they gave us a tour while everybody was still in there working on them. And let's just say that they are freaking amazing. Oh, my gosh. Like, I knew it would be cool to see the artist renderings like we did last May when we did our contract and all that stuff. It was like, yeah, this is going to be amazing. To be in there? Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

It's amazing. Like, those rooms are incredible yeah the playroom there's a there's a separate playroom in the mansion like right off of the playroom there's this big glass door and it's this freaking shower that you could put how many people in at least a dozen and it's one of those like those like rain showers. So like the whole ceiling is like a rain shower. The whole ceiling is a rain shower, yeah. The sex you could have in there would be oof. And the pools and the bar. And I mean, anyway, they're probably about ready to open now.

And we're going to go back in spring and just stay there and do a more in-depth review then. Oh, my gosh. I cannot wait. Yeah. But anyway, the mansions are amazing. So let's get back to the last thing that we want to talk about. We thought we had experienced everything at Desire. Yeah.

We did the wine cellar dinner the last night with with two friends and we met miguel who's a sommelier and it was the most amazing experience that we've had it was the most amazing dining experience we've had at desire pearl that might be the most amazing dining experience i've ever had period yeah i mean so you know we went in and we took another couple and it was in the wine cellar and which isn't really a cellar it's just kind of like a room when you go to mexico and you go to desire you get good service but miguel is a passionate person and he is in love with wine and he's he stood at our table for three hours talking about the food and the wine.

And when I first heard that, I knew it was going to be a dinner for four and the other couple we went with are really good friends of ours and we don't get to see them very often so we were really looking forward to a meal with them. Right.

So it would be a very intimate experience and then when I figured out that Miguel was going to be with us the whole time, I'm like, this isn't really what I thought it would be a very intimate experience and then when i figured out that miguel was going to be with us the whole time i'm like this isn't really what i thought it would be i have to say at the end of the three hours i did not want to leave no no i i that man was the most charming informative yeah insightful person yeah if you the bottom line here is if you go to desire pearl and you enjoy wine you need to go to the cellar dinner with miguel because it was it far exceeded my expectations and he is such an engaging person so anyway logistically how it works is they there's a red wine a white wine and a champagne and he talks about all the wines but as he And I'll see you next time.

So anyway, logistically how it works is there's a red wine, a white wine, and a champagne. And he talks about all of the wines. But as he's allowing us to taste the wines, he's ordering on his headphone our dinner from the head chef. And the head chef is bringing our food to us. And he's talking about the food. Yeah, we were served by the head chef.

Yes, we were served by the it was crazy and miguel was was he was having us taste the wine with each course so for example we had beef carpaccio as our appetizer and he poured all three wines at once i mean he he poured them one at a time and then we tasted them but then as they brought the food he brought the beef carpaccio and there was like romaine lettuce and then of course the beef and then the shaved parmesan and olives and then some other kinds of greens.

And he would say, okay, I want you to take a piece of beef and just a little slice of the cheese and put it in your mouth and taste the red wine. And then he would tell us what we were tasting and just the experience of the red wine paired with those flavors. And then he would have us get a piece of arugula and an olive and a piece of cheese. And then we would taste that with the white wine and then something else with the champagne. And he would like all of these flavors would be married together as he's describing what we're, what our palate is experiencing. It was crazy.

I mean, we could talk about this all night, but he's very passionate about wine and he's from Mexico and he tells you the history of winexico and then um stays with you for the whole meal and pairs all the wine together and at the end of the evening we felt like we were best friends with miguel i know well and then you don't have a dessert wine with dessert we had tequila oh yeah well this amazing añejo tequila was paired with like a chocolate something with ice cream. And to make it even better, I was sitting at, it was like a long, narrow table. So you were sitting across from me.

No, I was sitting next to you. I know you weren't. You were sitting across from me. Okay. And the other wife was sitting next to you. Right. And so I was sitting next to the other husband. And when it was time to eat the chocolate cake and the ice cream the other husband would feed me he i didn't do anything he fed me a piece of chocolate cake oh my god and then i drank the tequila i don't do that like almost had an orgasm i was eating chocolate and ice cream with this amazing tequila served put in my mouth by by this incredibly sexy friend. Pick up your own fork and feed yourself.

It was like an orgasm on a spoon. Anyway, desire does not do that evening credit.

So if you are a wine person and you enjoy good food and good service and you want an enjoyable evening, it is is worth it it is worth the money to go to that so anyway we're we're wrapping up this is kind of a long keeping up the joneses because we were at desire but what we want to do now is transition to while we were there we did a podcast in the disco and we focused on the ladies and before we talk about that i feel that it's necessary to say that recently the ladies in the lifestyle have been getting a lot of attention in the podcast community so yes sex uninterrupted has just released a podcast episode about ladies in the lifestyle as well as when we were at naughty in new orleans last summer so so so.

So Swinger Diaries, Average Swingers, and Two or More to Tango also released a three-part series on Ladies in the Lifestyle. And there were more podcast ladies other than those ladies that participated in that conversation. Correct. So based on what happened at Desire, though, with the ladies cocktail hour and the sexy swap meet and the sex toy thing, the ladies seem to be like dominating. Ladies are coming forward. Well, you know, it all started over a year ago when I started my ladies only group in our membership community. Right. I'm like, you know, we have a lot of words.

So I figured, let me start a ladies' chat where the men won't be part of it. Thank you. Yeah, I know, because we have words that you don't want to listen to, but at the same time, ladies might have things they need to get off their chest where we don't necessarily need men chiming in. You know, we just kind of want to converse with one another. So I started this ladies-only group in our membership community a year ago, and it has more than exceeded my expectations. Like, these ladies are incredible. Yeah.

And there were some amazing things that happened at Desire with the ladies, and we'll talk more about that in a minute. But what we're going to do now is we're going to transition to our topic and we're going to play for you the podcast that we did at Desire that we recorded with the ladies and their partners at Desire. So we're going to let you listen to that conversation, which is amazing.

And then we're going to come back and share some more about that and wrap that session up and then we'll get into our snapshots so well you're you're only going to let me do one snapshot aren't you yes you're a brat yeah i know we had so much fun okay so here is our conversation with a bunch of sexy ladies at Desire Pearl 2019. I think, you know, like I said, I was struggling with like these body image things. And those were my initial impressions. That's all I could think about is my appearance and how I look. And then, you know, you kind of settle that in.

But then I was like, oh my gosh, like, you know, I've got to watch my husband have sex with other women. And those women could be younger than me and prettier than me. So now I'm not only dealing with my own internal feelings about myself. But then you start wanting to compare yourself to other women. And that's just a downward spiral. And I, and I love coming here to desire because when you look around the pool, you know, Barbie doesn't show up, you know, we show up and we are all beautiful in our own ways.

And, and I, I think we learn here that there is no such thing as a perfect human body, but there's, you know, there's so many facets to a person and appearance is just one of those facets.

Like somebody's smile or just, you know, the way like the shyest person in the world can like get out here on the dance floor and you're like wow look at them go you know that's intriguing because you're seeing another side of their personality and I so all of those types of things are things you don't know ahead of time that you think you're going to struggle with and then you know once we started meeting people and I realized that these were genuine people that had genuine relationships with their own partners, then I felt less like air quotes threatened, you know, because I'm like, well, they're just like me.

Hi, my name is Karen.

And so about the, the most important thing that I found out about the lifestyle was that, know before the lifestyle I had always been someone who liked being sexual and you know but felt that I was that I shouldn't be you know that you know people were judging me for being that way it wasn't even in relationships where I was judged for being okay with things that other people might not have been and then just finding a place where other people are not judgmental about that and they're just accepting of it I mean that was kind of like finding my place and saying like this is actually normal I'm not a crazy person or you know not a good person because I think these things and I accept certain things and and for me a physical connection with someone doesn't necessarily mean a you know loving relationship or an emotional relationship which to me is much more important so how did you get from where you were and thinking about your sexuality and what the perceptions were around that to where you are now like what types of things did you have to consider and how did you work through that it was harder before because before I knew that I had the idea of like I'm a bad person I shouldn't be thinking these things I should be different I you know clearly I'm going I'm going to go ahead and go ahead and go was just all of this morals and values and things that were imposed to me by society and that society that i grew up in and um you know my family was it's amazing and the friends that i grew up are amazing.

But I grew up, and I don't know, maybe many of you did, but I grew up in a very judgmental society. And when those thoughts that people were judging poorly came to mind, I was just constantly punishing myself and not liking myself for it. And so in the lifestyle coming into it, I didn't really really have to reconcile anything i was just happy that it was easy to i'm like okay so i'm not crazy you know what i mean so i didn't have to um worry about that anymore and that was just um it was comforting it was very comforting.

And the fact that my husband was as accepting as anything, you know, that it's, it's, and there was no judgment in absolutely anything. And so that's, that's, what's been great about it. Hi, I'm Liz. Um, first of all, the one thing that has really helped me here is talking with other women. And, you know, we are all different shapes and sizes, but it's so fascinating to me that we all have these insecurities.

Every single one of us has something about our body that we're worried about or, you know, think somebody else will notice it and and it's just not that way I mean when you're here you know you can see into people's souls you can see who they are as a human and it's wonderful and the other question that you asked about how did I get here the most important thing for me has been that it's a shared journey that that wherever we're going after this life, we're going there together. And that that was the piece of it that made everything OK, that we're doing this together.

No matter what, we're not hurting ourselves. And even more important than that, we're not hurting others. You know, that's the biggest piece also is making sure that whatever we do, it's bringing positive light to others rather than negatives and um i don't know that's for me so long as i'm so long as we are doing it together and it's a positive thing for us it's a positive thing for the other people then i think it's great and we've had a wonderful time so thank you thank you. That about sums everything up. I know. I'm Annette.

Honestly, I was thinking, I think this is who I've always been, but I wasn't allowed to be. I think Jeff was trying to unlock it for like, what, 30 years? But he knew, because I grew up in the Catholic family. I did one bad thing my entire life, and of course I got caught. And I ditched a class at school just to see the Olympics, because that was before, like, we could record things. I wanted to see ice skating.

And it was my mom's birthday, and she came to pick me up early, and I and I wasn't there okay so anyway um so I just went back to never doing anything bad again um and then I realized this is who I've always been and all of a sudden it was just like it's okay I can be me my entire life it was where wear that. I was told what to do. And all of a sudden, I thought, no, I need to be me. And I think people have noticed in the last few years, people saying, wow, you used to wear flowy clothes, and now you don't do that as much. And it's like, wow, yeah, I can be me.

I can paint my wall yellow if I want, which my mom hated. Yeah, so I can finally feel like, wow, I can, like wow this is who I've always been and I want to keep being this and I want to keep growing and everybody here I think has reached out or said hi and it's fantastic so I want to ask you a follow up question So the first couple of times that you started to become who you've always been, the next morning or the next week, how did you reconcile these things? This doesn't happen overnight, right?

You don't get get to that place so when you had these doubts or you had these feelings what were they and then how did you how did you work through that um i don't think i ever had any regrets it was it was giggy you know get you know you get giggly and and giddy and you think wow and then you want to know there's there's more there's what else is there and how far can you go um and not get judged and there was never that level of judgment and all of a sudden i'm this bad person that hasn't happened so it's like the roof keeps getting raised and and then it's like it's open and you can so yeah it was it was really easy way easier easier than I expected.

I like that. The roof keeps getting raised. Yeah. We busted through the glass ceiling. Yeah. I knew we could count on you. What's that? I knew we could count on you. You can count on me to talk. Hi. I think all of you know me as Robbie. Anyway, I have to say this journey was a challenge for the beginning for me. Being comfortable in your own body. I think a lot of us have an issue with that, and it's been said.

Being able to be free, being able to be who I want to be, i want to be and have zero judgment i first came here and i was unbelievably nervous i thought oh my god i'm going to stand there naked in the pool people are going to look at me and go oh my look at her she's got flaws someone said to me in the pool the other day actually yesterday you don't have any flaws you're just a mom you don't have any flaws you're human you're beautiful and it doesn't matter if you think you have flaws you got to let that go because you don't everybody has some baggage becoming in this lifestyle has made me realize that the baggage is only the baggage in my head.

And once you let that go, your life is unbelievable. And who you meet in this lifestyle is pretty incredible. And I've actually grown so much since I've been in this lifestyle, and it's pretty impressive. And my husband and I have gotten even that much more closer. I love them with all my heart. And doing this sort of stuff just makes it that much more better.

So guys, as you're listening to these ladies or your partner talk about this, I'm interested to know, as a husband or a partner, observing this, what your partner's going through and these thoughts, whether they're becoming the person they've always been or whether they're struggles and body image issues and everything else, the baggage that we all carry around. You as husbands, how did you handle that?

What were your feelings about that and here you are with somebody who you think you know and you do know but all of a sudden they start turning into more of a person uh and and you're a part of that so i'm just curious from the guy's perspective how happy, painful, joyous, whatever you experienced as your partner is going through all of this and this transformation, what was it like being a guy trying to either keep up with or respond to or listen to and hold on to that as they worked through a lot of this hi my name's tim i just felt proud seeing her blossom and and learning that much more about her seeing her face her fears and work through them and get more comfortable in her own skin because i tell her all the time, you know, she's gorgeous.

She's beautiful. But she asked me again and again, repeatedly, over and over again. She doesn't believe me, but everyone else tells her she's gorgeous. She's beautiful. And watching her confidence grow, it's just, it's, I'm just proud. I mean, makes my heart grow. I'm pretty sure you just scored some major points there see how easy this is guys hi I'm Tom and first getting started out even before we got started out she was such a strong, sure person in the business world. She could take control of a board room, a meeting room, and just totally control it and roll it.

In her personal life, she felt like that she had the flaws and that she was not attractive and not desirable. And I would tell her so, but she said, yeah, we're married. You have to say that.

And as we started this journey to watch her blossom as a woman and grow in her confidence, in her looks, in her sexuality, and me getting to watch and observe this journey and knowing what kind of person she really was all the time on the inside but now she's starting to see it and she's starting to grow and believe it if you if that's the way to word it and uh it's just been a remarkable journey it makes me very happy it makes me very excited to to watch her grow and and when she's with other people men or a woman it just the the pleasure and it's it's been an incredible journey for me and it's helped me grow as well but just to watch her blossom is the right word it's just been phenomenal it really has been yes she's nodding her head you said said the right things.

My name is Jeff. In looking at a journey, like the other gentleman said, there was always the body issues, the self-confidence issues for her. And yet she's the confident one in this lifestyle journey. And so she's been my foundation and my security blanket because I'm the real introvert. I know that's surprising here but um i yeah it's it's hard for me to reach out so she's the one who who kind of pushes me and encourages me yes you can do that yes we can go talk to those people so her journey has been much faster i've been holding on and but really enjoying it.

And then watching her growth, so for instance, we did the pictures here. And to watch her amazement as she's seeing these pictures on the screen, and just say, wow, is that me? And yeah, that's you. That's the one I've been seeing for so long. So yeah, it a great journey but holding on tight hi my name is norm and I don't know if I'm gonna answer your question mr. Jones but one thing I wanted to say was we oftentimes hear from the women saying to their husbands you have to say you know I'm beautiful you have to tell me that and I wanted tell the women today, we don't have to say that.

There's many husbands that don't say that. We say it because we want to say it. And you are beautiful. And we do love you. And you, yes, you have flaws. We do too as husbands. But we look at you and you're perfect. You're perfect for us. You're we love you wow i think norm just made me cry you win how's it going i'm uh i'm the shy one no i'm kidding no my wife um i tell her all the time she's beautiful. And just like you said, you have to say that. Well, I don't. I look at her the same way as when I saw her when we were 19 years old and we met. I don't see her any different.

She's everything in my life. And so it's been nice to, it's always nice when other people validate what I tell her. So. I think that's a good point. I mean, you know, we keep saying all the husbands have to say that, but, but I think the gift that you give us is that you give us permission to accept, um, the compliments from other people without feeling threatened. And we appreciate that. I really think that that's where the growth comes from, is knowing that you guys are okay with that, and we're allowed to be sexual beings.

I know there has to be somebody who struggled in here besides me because what I experienced was being with the same woman for 29 years and her telling me, I am not going to like this. I am an only child. I don't like to share. I said it.

and so in my mind i was thinking this is going to be a struggle for her and this might not even work out but then after i watched her have her first experience i thought wait a minute you had no problems sharing and you seem to enjoy yourself and so in my mind there was a dissonance there was a a gap a distance between what I was told and then what actually happened and of course in my mind goes to why why did that happen you know was it this person um you know do i not really know her uh that's a scary thing and and i appreciate you guys saying that you're learning things about your your wives and your partners and it's uh it makes you grow closer but you know my first experience was you know one of what's going on here that's's not what I expected to see.

So has anyone else been in that place and wants to talk about that? Hi, I'm Sweet Tea and Whiskey.

And so I think there's two been two struggles for me in all this and it's gotten better and it's a journey and all those kind of things but you know I watched how much energy she spent not being her in vanilla life like how much energy she put on this you know this shield to not be her and then all of a sudden she could be her and that's scary and then all of a sudden I'm the protector of the marriage and protector of the relationship and trying to like hold on as i always joke and you know in text or those kind of things but i didn't want to be now the vanilla world that was making her put those layers back on but it was still scary to kind of see this person out there and then on top of that everybody i mean not everybody but i always joke i don't know what she's attracted to like i and normally it's not me like i mean i'm in in the lifestyle sorry guys all right i mean i'm all right um but we'll cut that right right cut that part out um no and that what she seeks out like personality wise and those kind of things are much different than my personality and then how to make heads and tails of that was and still is sometimes a journey you're like i i can never provide that for you and that sometime is a huge pride check for me to be like ah okay she's getting that from somebody else not.

And so that's, that's been an interesting part of this journey that we continue to try to reconcile and communicate about. And, and that's helped us grow as a couple, but it's still part of the journey for sure. So I think that's where experience comes into play because at first it is threatening might be too strong of a word, but it's like you get discombobulated. Right. You know, because you're like, oh, why is she so attracted to him? You know, what does he have that I don't have? And just the human instinct is to make that comparison.

Like, do I need to up my game in this regard or whatever? But I think experience shows you that she comes back to you every time. Right. And she can look at you the way she is not going to look at somebody else because her heart's in it. Absolutely. Yeah. Okay, ladies. What about the lifestyle has been the biggest surprise? Like how you've reacted to something?

Like has something been easier than you thought it would be or has something been harder than you thought it would be what whether it has to do with body image or interacting with other people watching your partner with other people you know is something kind of like throwing you for a loop that you really in a good way or a bad way that you didn't see coming and that again um i found it is so much easier for me to flirt with other people than to have someone come up and flirt with me it almost makes me back up and say and i don't know what to do with i don't know how to reciprocate the flirt but i can start the flirt and i don't know what that's all about the struggle is real yeah well well and right it doesn't make sense but it's but that that's your reality yeah and somebody mentioned it before about um we grow in as adults we've we've Professionally we've grown as parents we've grown as spouses we've grown but all of a sudden we are back in high school and that I'm now allowed to flirt with somebody and so my game left me when I was 17 years old and it wasn't there to begin with um you know this expectation why do we have an expectation that we can just turn that on and be good at it when just like every other aspect in our lives that we've grown through it just takes practice you know so i think there's comfort in knowing that again that's something that we all that we all struggle with may not be evident.

I mean, I am really a quiet, shy person. Actually, he is. Yeah, and it took me a long time to, first of all, to give myself permission to flirt with somebody else, because I thought I was going to be hurting her feelings, and then moving beyond that and trying to understand, do I have to come up with one liners? You know, do I have to, how do I become this? But unfortunately, or fortunately, the only way through it is to step into it and lean into it and just keep practicing. And I'm confident that you're getting better at it.

So what was the most surprising for me is it wasn't the sex that scares me anymore it's this and i'm i'm a really really guarded person so coming here i knew meeting you guys like people are going to ask me hard questions and i don't i don't want to talk about my feelings i don't want to tell you about myself i will I will dance with you. I'll flirt with you. I'll kiss you. But do not ask me a question. Sorry. It scares the jeebies out of me. Like, I'm like, oh. So we were talking about this last night. And I said, you know, she's not in here.

So you can edit her name out later but jenny 2020 2022 i'm gonna be a jenny i got a goal not 21 that's too close but like she's so raw and she'll tell you how she feels and it's it's just it's beautiful to me and and it's a really hard thing for me so i'm working on it thank you thank you for having the courage to do that when we first started this I remember thinking there is no way like okay we'll have sex with people sure let's try that out but they're not coming to my house I'm not telling them about my children I am not going to really tell them about my personal life at all.

And honestly, like the first experience we had, they came to our house and saw pictures of our kids because it's on our walls.

And I mean, honestly, that was the most surprising thing to me was that we have developed these wonderful friendships all over the place and I think just from a bird's eye view I never saw that coming I associated this with okay it's sex but how much better it is when you have that relationship and that trust and you open up with each other I mean it's just so much more fun and it's yeah that has been amazing based on where you are in this journey as a woman what kind of advice do you have for others who are right at the front door or just learning to explore this woman to woman you know how do you work through we've worked through our issues we've gotten to a point where we have this confidence and we're learning and we're realizing that it's all of these great things that we've been talking about how How do we send a message so that the starting point is different for people in the future?

Because right now we have an idea of what this is. We don't want our friend, we don't want to have people in our homes. You know, there are these things that we believe that we need to do in a certain way because of our perception of what this really is. So how can we change that? How can we give a message? What's the message that we need to give to other ladies that are struggling or just trying to wrap their minds around what this really is? Hi, I'm Lori. It's communication.

We've been married 38 years, and we got into the lifestyle eight years ago, and we talk, and then the next morning you go, ooh, we shouldn't have done that, then you don't do that again. So communication. And when you say we shouldn't have done that, you mean he shouldn't have done that, right? Oh, yeah. No, he did raise his hand when you said that. Hi, I'm Liz.

I think it's about, again, it's about being on a journey and being okay that you are absolutely going to make mistakes, but you've got to be able to communicate with your spouse and be okay that you've made mistakes and just be up front. I really did that wrong, and this is how we're going to fix it in the future. So as we were starting, we made all sorts of dumb mistakes, but then we knew what not to do, and so we revised our rules as we went.

Some rules we didn't know you didn't know that you had to tell somebody no biting you just didn't know that but you learn through experience and just give each other the grace to make those mistakes and continue communication absolutely that's the way you get through it is just be as open and direct and brutal if you have to just be honest with your spouse about everything and work through it together i mean it's actually it's a shared journey am i the only one in here where i have to just make the same mistake over and over again okay because the communication is of course foundational and it's bedrock to this but then taking that and processing it and what am i going to do differently next time to make sure that doesn't happen and so mrs jones threatened me recently that i she said you say all these smart things on the podcast but you continue to screw this up i know i'm like mr jones is the one that is i'm that i'm talking to like having our little you know pre-briefing going into a situation but you're not the guy that actually gets in bed you know like the real you gets in bed and then it's like here we are again but no I mean we're joking around but but you know we we all have um you know ways that we interact as a couple and those ways sometimes work in everyday life but they might not work in this situation so you know you have to relearn you have to learn new strategies of of you know communicating with each other and being more deliberate about it and those are hard patterns to break if you've been in a relationship for a while yeah and communication is such a subjective term but uh you know to to in my mind um okay we talked about it um you had a body image issue.

It's behind us. I don't have to worry about that again, right? How? Yeah. Because in my mind, we already addressed that. Why is this coming back up again? So even though we talk about becoming a different person and understanding and feeling more confident, that doesn't necessarily mean that those feelings are going to go away. Maybe less frequent or maybe they subside a little bit, but it's the communication coming back to that and being able to say, well, I'm back to where I was again.

But at least I think it gives you the confidence that you've been there and you've worked through it as an individual and as a couple.

you know and and husbands or men in general you guys are fixers like oh the dishwasher's broken i'll fix it you know or the yard needs to be mowed i'll fix it you guys are when my car makes a funny noise i'll take it to the shop or you fix it you can't fix all the crap that's going on in your you know your partner's head like we just have this crap we have to deal with and you might think it's ridiculous for us to have body image issues or or to be shy and and to think that you know flirting is going to be torture when we get to an event um and you think you want to fix it by telling us oh you're beautiful you look fantastic let's go you're going to have fun you know it just doesn't work that way it'll be all right and and um it'll be fine and while we appreciate you fixing our cars or whatever it is you're in charge of fixing um you might be in charge of fixing dinner and we fix the cars i don't know but um to give us the space and the permission to work through it and and to have the patience to let us go through it and to listen to our 600 words when we just need to talk out loud.

I really think that that's the biggest gift that you guys give us. And clearly, you're all doing that at some level because we're all here. The husbands that don't tell their wives that they look beautiful because, you know, you're our husbands, those are the husbands and wives that don't have the opportunity to come here because they're not ready. So, you know, I think we all consider ourselves fortunate in this room today. I don't know why my wife is so quiet because normally she talks a lot. I already figured that out about her, yeah.

But what I have to tell her is, you know, I'm pretty simple and stupid a lot, so you have to tell me what you need, what you want. You know, when you ask the same question, I tell you you're beautiful three times, four times, five, I get confused, you know, maybe that's not the right answer, maybe there's something else, so, so you have to tell me, you know, I, I, I just need to talk, you don't need to fix anything, just, just listen, okay, yeah, that's good, just tell me I'm beautiful again and again, because I want to hear it again and again. Okay, I can do that.

You know, just give me a sign. Yeah, let me know something. Thank you. Thank you for repeating I'm beautiful and every time that I ask you. And I have to say something. I'm in love with this conversation. I have been quiet because I'm listening to all of you. And I want to say something to the people that will listen to this podcast. You want to be here. You want to come to this place. You want to come to this art. You want to be flirting with others. The greatest people.

i can answer many of the questions that you had earlier um i my biggest surprise were the people i mean we are normal okay we are normal we are your teachers we are your co-workers we are the people that you find in the grocery store we are no um from another world right we are our neighbors i mean it's our neighbors it's our community so try please um leave okay give yourself the opportunity to come over and meet this lifestyle that uh what is lifestyle okay so allow yourself to meet the great people that you have around you I'm glad I'm in good company of someone that continues to make mistakes over and over and over again one thing that has come to me as we're listening to this and we're talking about communication is we try to communicate and we try our best to communicate, but sometimes as we're communicating, maybe I'm hearing A, and she's hearing B, and although we quote-unquote communicated, we both came up with a different interpretation of that, and so what we're trying to do, are we successful yet?

We're learning, is to communicate at a deeper level so that we we're going to do are we successful yet and we're learning is to communicate at a deeper level so that we really understand and comprehend what our needs are and what our I don't want to use the word goals because this isn't we don't have goals necessarily other than to be happy the two of us but, but to make sure we're on the same page. And we're not always, even though we communicated. And so it takes additional communicating and additional, deeper communicating.

And I think that's something that we've learned recently and just something I thought that came came today so I'm just gonna go one step further on that sometimes you you try your best and you still you know you flip your lid and things still happen and I think the two things that have helped us through the years is, number one, it's you and me, kid. At the end of the day, he's my guy, and that's what matters. And the other thing is, when we're trying to communicate and we're not, and we come into an issue, we have to find a way to get beyond that. So recently, I mean, he's become my butta.

if if we're really pissed at each other for something if we can just stop and use that term it just like melts us back to where we need to be so you know you're gonna come against hard things sometimes and you have to figure out a way to move beyond that because at the end of the day he's my guy you're a lucky girl too this is something else i mean this is the flip side to all this crap we all have this baggage and everything else that we talked about but you can do what i did you get here the first time i know he's got my back no matter what so what you do is you get a lot of liquid courage you do a whole bunch of shit every laughs at you by the end of the day everybody knows you so next day you go back and go apologize they all know you and you're all over it it's all good somebody else in our group got over served on the first day and the second morning he walked around and he called it his apology tour.

No, he said, I'm just approaching everybody. Do I need to apologize to you? If we're talking about people who are just thinking about getting into the lifestyle or who are very new, I think it's important, and I know this probably gets said, but maybe they don't hear it, that there's a billion ways to do this lifestyle.

Some of you've heard the story that we're probably the most experienced newbies that you've ever met, because we were, we didn't know we were in the lifestyle, so we started at Jones University, but we've been voyeurs and exhibitionists at vacation places and clubs even for 24 years, and just playing with others just with each other just like she was saying just the hot atmosphere the open people who are friendly and you can talk to although initially those swinger people were really scary and i'm going to stay far away from them but there's a million ways to do it and if you get to the point where a voyeur, an exhibition is all you want to do, then just stay there.

You don't have to move. By the way, I learned this trip that I am in the lifestyle. Bravo. I did not know, but I am.

So I learned that we have been in the lifestyle for, four years now but i didn't know so speaking about women getting into the lifestyle who are thinking about it and unsure about it um we're not that far removed from being there and i really think attractiveness is such a hang up for women in general you all i mean i i'm saying this um as myself as well but you know you're looking at stretch marks and c-section scars and i'm not my 20 year old body anymore and and you're focused so much on yourself but then when you look at other people what are you noticing you know, she's got this great curve.

Like, you know, look at her curves or look at her confidence. And you're not noticing their C-section scar or the fact that their boobs are a little bit lower than they might have been when you didn't know them when they were 20. And if people could look at the positives they see in other people versus focusing on the negatives they see in themselves, I think it would just be a lot easier to make that transition to getting into the lifestyle in general. I know, I wish I had seen that kind of approach a little bit earlier, but it was the group that really helped me do that.

The community for the We Got a Thing think community I saw these beautiful women posting unedited unfiltered but normal women and I thought they were beautiful and they weren't perfect but they're beautiful and it made a real big difference in my confidence level as well so we all have flaws i love that they weren't perfect but they're beautiful right well you continue to post and get through your therapy if we can help you another communication tip is to record yourselves when you need to communicate because if you think that there are people listening to you, you behave much more adult-like.

I'm Sharon and one of the things about communication for somebody trying to start out, I'm not real good about that. I can't really give advice.

I'm still kind of learning on my own as well trying to deal with my own issues and I've got somebody trying to you know help me along but the thing that works is all the um all the different little chat rooms and the things kind of sometimes you have the main chat and it's a little overwhelming with all the different discussions going on but when you break it down to like the women's group or the book club or something separate it's kind of helping me open up a little bit more so i would suggest somebody try something small and then grow bigger from that so the thing about about charon is she's really grown in her ability to have have confidence and that was always her biggest struggle and that's a really attractive thing so I've always thought she was beautiful but now that's a non visual beauty that that is really pretty outstanding and it seems to me somebody had a shirt on yesterday about getting into trouble.

Which one did you have on? Back into trouble, yeah. We want to thank you for spending an hour inside, out of the sun. It's time to get back out. It's after 12 o'clock, so start to cycle over again. It means we can start drinking. Yeah, that's what I mean.

Thanks for boiling that down to just a couple of words uh thank you all for um you know people ask us do you feel like you're always on or do you feel like you're always having to work and uh this is our fourth um group trip here to desire and we're much more confident in knowing that by tuesday or Wednesday, when we walk down to the hot tub in the afternoon, we're not going to be able to hear ourselves think because of all of the chatter, all the socializing and all the connections. So we don't, our job is done when we get you all here.

And then the rest of it is just experiencing these connections and friendships and the vacation all together so it's really not a lot of work at least from my vantage point i mean we we get to make a hundred and something new friends that's not maybe it's because i don't do much of the work where i don't all right so when you can identify 11 out of 13 sets of boobs blindfolded you know you've been observant throughout the week yeah i didn't need a spreadsheet for that spreadsheet for that shit to happen no i seriously we came back to the room to shower i'm like dude you were like peeking under the blindfold there is no way you did that and he was like i'm observant so that's his story and he's sticking with it he says he didn't cheat and late last week she said I am going to sit you down with my spreadsheet and we're going to go over who's going to be there and what their screen names are because you need to learn all of this stuff and I'm like why you know I can just ask you so thank you for trusting us we hope that you've had a good week there's still a few days left for some of us i know some of you are cutting out and um just want to say thank you and enjoy the rest of your time here and we'll see you around the pool well I hope you enjoyed that conversation and as all i can say is clearly we have some really smart sexy listeners that travel with us what a great group of people and and what a good conversation and again we were like um sorry it's been an hour you Right.

Go put some swimsuits on. Or no, not swimsuits, but sunscreen on and get back out of the pool. Yeah. So to kind of wrap things up, we had a lady and her husband that were there at the recording, but she didn't really chime in however when we got home we got an email from her yes and i'd really like to read this email to y'all because um well partly for selfish reasons because i'm pretty sure this lady is my soul sister i can totally relate to everything she just said but i think it also speaks to many of us in the lifestyle that are um kind of on I'm not going to be able to do that.

she just said, but I think it also speaks to many of us in the lifestyle that are, um, kind of on the fringe of figuring out, you know, kind of where to go and what are we getting out of it and why are we doing it? So anyway, that'll make a whole lot more sense after I read this. So here we go. She said, I believe one of the questions posed at the time of the taping was, what advice do you have for women just entering or thinking about entering the lifestyle? And then she goes on to say, I have a different take on this question than the answers I heard being given.

I have heard some version of the following statement quite a few times from women in the lifestyle. I was always sexual, but I was shamed for it. Or I didn't feel I could show how much I craved or enjoyed sex. I want to throw out another perspective. Before the lifestyle, I wasn't very sexual. I wasn't like I felt I could be myself or that I had any kind of fantasies I was afraid to share. I just didn't have an overwhelming drive for sex or fantasies. My husband and I enjoyed sex, and we did imaginative things when we would have sex, but it was not a drive or a necessity for me.

He didn't push it, and it wasn't a super important part of our relationship. Beginning to dabble in the lifestyle, which was an idea I brought up to him, was more like an academic pursuit for me. The first few months, I had a perception that maybe I wouldn't fit in because I didn't have this constant or overwhelming need for sex.

I guess if I could speak to women who are like me, who don't identify as sexual or kinky or whatever label, but are listening to a podcast and possibly listening before informing their partner that they are even thinking about this lifestyle, that I would want to say this. Just like there is every size and shape of lady in the lifestyle, there is also every personality and attitude towards sex. Don't think if you don't crave sex every day that you can't experiment with the lifestyle or that you can't find amazing rewards from the lifestyle.

So speaking of rewards, I feel I should mention that sex drive first because I just discussed it above. Yes, my sex drive has increased in the lifestyle that probably has something to do with all of the sexy stimuli. While I consider this a reward, the other rewards far outweigh that for me. You know, everyone says that communication, which yes, of course, is number one hands down. But that communication, be it with my partner or with lifestyle friends or play partners, has built my confidence in communicating with others and bleeds over into my work life and my social life.

I am pretty introverted by nature. In social situations, I wait for people to talk to me. In work meetings, I speak when my name is on the agenda or I am asked questions. Having such intimate conversations in the lifestyle is retraining me to go ahead and voice ideas or concerns in the moment in all areas of my life. And the more I do that, and the results are positive, the more I see the value in speaking my mind. The confidence cycle it has created for me over the past year is amazing. That's an awesome contribution to, in addition to what everyone else was just talking about.

and and i want to add one more thing um one event or highlight that we didn't talk about intentionally because i wanted to save it till now is that one in one of the evenings at desire they do a fashion show oh yes and used to be that they would have models coming in and professional models and modeling clothes. Right. You and I walked in as it was starting. Yeah, this was burlesque night, so all the ladies had corsets on. Yeah, and I said, look at who's on the runway. Yes. And I said, well, look who's behind her.

And what we saw were the ladies that had been to the cocktail hour and the ladies who i i think it was described perfectly in the conversation not perfect but beautiful yes these ladies were strutting their stuff and they are real ladies with their imperfections and but just the confidence that they showed as they were walking down the runway and then they would get back to the end and they would hug each other and you could just feel the sexiness and the confidence the camaraderie camaraderie there were like a dozen of them yeah and they were not the 12 ladies i would have picked out of the group to do that.

And my mind was blown. I was crying watching them walking down the runway. I was so proud of them. So when that happened, that kind of defined the week as the week of the women. Yeah. And the husbands were so like peacocking around. Oh, I know. That, oh my gosh, that's my wife. Yes. That's my wife. You know, and she was so shy. Look at her, she's amazing. Yeah, and look at her running, walking down the runway with all these other beautiful models. And they were shredding. I mean, and these sexy corsets that I just remember like, okay, so I'm going to do a pre-snapshot.

So one of my snapshots is you walking up to one lady in particular afterwards. You know, so she was like the least likely lady I would have chosen to be up there. Not because she's not pretty or beautiful or whatever, but because she's a very quiet, shy person. And you hugged her, and I was just like, this is what it's all about.

I I could not have been more proud of her so we want to thank everyone who trusted us and traveled with us to desire we want to especially thank the women that were there and that participated in all the conversations and participated in the podcast that we just recorded and thank you for being vulnerable and sharing yourselves and i know that i speak for all the husbands well i want to say thank you to the husbands for loving your women the husbands are partners for loving your women unconditionally yeah and and just for being so proud of them and so supportive of them to let them, to let us explore, you know, who we really are deep down inside without the fear of being, you know, judged or whatever.

We just, we love you all for that. So I think in summary, the fact that all these other podcasts have been talking about ladies in the lifestyle and we experienced that desire, the ladies are stepping up their game, guys. And if you have a partner or a spouse or a female friend and they are considering the lifestyle, you know, listening to ladies who are real, they're real ladies.

they're imperfect they struggle and we're husbands that are trying to help them through this you know just seeing the growth and the introspection and the reflection that happened was was awesome and we hope that you all at least picked up on a little bit of a hint of what it was like to be in the presence of all these awesome and sexy and beautiful women at Desire with us last month. Hell yeah. Yeah. It was amazing. So when we come back, we're going to somehow focus in on one snapshot each. Do you think you can do that? No, I don't think I can do that. Okay, we're going to do that.

I promise you. We'll be right back with Snapshots welcome back to Snapshots I'm a little bitter I can only have one okay we'll just get over it and do the one Had met them before and had definitely connected with them before, but hadn't really been able to seal the deal right so we played with them and it was incredible and they are a soft swap couple and we didn't know that until we were about to play with them uh did we yeah because they said when we went back to the room and we didn't know that ahead of time? No. Okay. Well, clearly. So, okay, that was a coincidence then. Yes.

Because, can I back up the train while I get in trouble for this? It's your podcast. Yes, it is. Damn it. Okay. So, Mr. Jones and I had one of these come to Jesus talks before we left for Mexico. And we were really trying to figure out how we were going to... Come to Jesus means that Mr. Jones got in trouble. Okay, go ahead. Right, everybody knew that. Go ahead. I get a stern talking to you. So, a result of that, there were two things that came out of that conversation. And it was probably one of our ugliest conversations we've ever had regarding the lifestyle.

You might have gotten almost to the yelling point during that conversation. And you're not a yeller. So I'm a yeller, in case you all don't know that. But anyway, two things came out of our conversation. First of all, we really are considering how we interact with people the first time out of the shoot.

When we meet a new couple, we're a full swap couple, but we always say we're're full swap situational so we're really trying to figure out how we can maybe step back to soft swap with people we haven't played with before to make sure that we can create an experience that is balanced among the four people because we've we've just we've had a kind of a string of unbalanced experiences. So, so, but, but that's really the point of that conversation that we had. And then the other part of that conversation was that, um, you said, I need to own my own experience more. I did. Yes, you did.

And I was from across the room when you had no sharp knives in your hand. You know, you said something about you get out of it what you put into it. Right. I might have not received that well. No, you didn't. But that was two days before we actually had our first experience of desire so i had 48 hours to kind of like cool down noodle that through yeah and i arrived in mexico with a new mindset that if i want to have fun i'm going to have to create my own fun i can't rely on other people to do that for me. So what I ended up doing is becoming an intentionally more active participant.

And might I say, it is pretty damn sexy. And thank you very much. Well, I know. And it ended up, that's a result of you and I fighting in our living room. Yeah. Like 18 hours before we got on a plane. But the bottom line is that we met this couple. We had already met them before. We knew we were going to be together. We had arranged this date and we played with him. And then we found out they were soft swap. And in my mind, I'm like, sweet, this is going to solve our problem. No, we didn't play with them and then just find out they were soft swap.

No, we found out as we were kind of plotting and planning. Right. And I was like, okay, this is going to solve our problem because I don't want to full swap with people we haven't met. Right. Right.

Well, that was one of the hottest soft swap experiences we ever had that night're getting to the snapshot now yeah finally i know um we we played and i i just remember he was on top of me and i had him in my hand and my hand was kind of between the two of us and i wanted to fuck me so bad it was ridiculous but i knew it was off the table which made me want it more right um so then we we did that for a while you were playing with her and i think you all were kind of going through the same kind of mindset. And then I said, I, I want to do something where all four of us are connected.

So I voted on like the Eiffel tower.

And what we did is we put him on his back and then his wife sat on his cock because they were allowed to, since they were a soft swap couple and I was on his face and then you were just kind of like I was like come here honey and she and I were kind of just like playing with you because we were on the bed the two of you leaned together and were making out so she and I were kissing because we were facing each other on top of her husband and then i was like hey honey come here so then i think we were both kind of like playing with you and i think i gave you a blow job and so all four of us were connected but it was soft swap right and it was so hot yeah that was crazy and i was the one that decided i wanted to do that.

Yeah. Well, me with no fantasy life and I just go with the flow, whatever. Truth be told, she and I, I was on the other side of the bed having fun with her and I was watching you almost barely having sex with him. And I thought, okay, I'm just going to wait until she finally gives in and he gives in and they, and they stop and they want to get a condom. And then I'm just going to go ahead and get the best of both worlds. But it never happened. No, I'm a rule follower, sorry. No, but your point was that when you can't have something that makes you want it more.

Oh my gosh, I remember saying that, like in the middle of sex. I was like, this is not fair, I want this so bad, this is not fair. I mean, we were laughing about it. So those of you who just skipped a full swap, you miss out on the creativity and the ingenuity and the desperation that's in the air. I was. I was desperate. I was like, I want you so bad. I can't even stand it.

was that was pretty hot yeah that's a good snapshot so mine um we were with a couple recently and i i'm we continue to learn lessons in the lifestyle when we first met this couple it really didn't enter my mind that we would eventually play with them she's they're a younger couple and me being my age you know 57 and with a younger my my sweet spot is like anybody over 45 i'm you know i'm pretty confident with because i'm like okay they're in my age range yeah but younger than that i had just my default setting is still that i'm i'm older and they there's not going to be you know that kind of attraction and so i don't i don't intentionally you know flirt or go after it with the younger ladies because it's just not i i don't i don't want to be the dirty old man you know that's just my my setting the first time that we met them, I made a comment to her, a flirtatious comment to her, and she didn't respond.

And so I'm like, okay, well, it was fun, but there's nothing there. But then after we got home, she messaged us and she said, I wish I would have. I'm so bad at flirting. And when you said that, I missed an opportunity and I should have flirted back with you because I was really interested. And so once I got that feedback that like, she's maybe interested, then the four of us started a four-way chat and we started, and even then I'm like, I don't know if this chat is going to, I don't know if this is going to go anywhere. Right.

And you know how it is when you chat with somebody online that you don't know, it's a little bit awkward. Well, we knew them, but we didn't really know them. Right. Right. And I didn't know how interested you were, and I, you know, was discovering an interest, and you said, well, I think I'm interested.

And anyway, when we ended up playing with them, which was surprising to me and we had dinner with them we had dinner with them and such a fun dinner we had dinner with them all of a sudden you're sitting across the table from two people and you're and you're listening to them tell their life story and you're watching them interact and you're having an opportunity to get to know who they really are and what their relationship is about and there was was a definite, at that point in time, I'm like, there's a four-way attraction here. They have an amazing relationship. They do.

And she is very shy. And she's introverted. And so for me. And she's ridiculously beautiful. And I don't even think realizes it. Yeah, she is. And that just makes me more.

and she's ridiculously beautiful and i don't even think realizes it yeah she yeah she is and that just makes me more and she's the type of woman who stands in the second row you know she's not out there competing she's not out there being aggressive she's not out there flirting but she's standing in the wings and when you look at her you can tell that she's thinking and that she's But she's not assertive enough to put herself out there.

So anyway, we were fortunate enough to have dinner with them and then the four of us decided to to play which is a really good decision yes it was a really good decision and she she revealed herself to me during play like you know i, I always feel so good when a woman feels safe and secure and can, I can just enjoy herself and have fun. And the two of us really connected. And I, you know, at one point in time, we were so close together and we ended up full swapping for a while.

And we were, we were pressed together so closely and I pulled away from her and I looked at her and she has this really cute smile and she was smiling during sex. And sometimes you'd wonder if that's going to be sexy or not, but she had, her cheeks were rosy and she had that smile on her face. And to me, that was the sexiest thing because I was able to see her being herself and being comfortable with me. And at the end of the day, that's what it's all about.

When I'm with a woman who can be herself and enjoy herself and the two of us just connected, then all of the other stuff that got in the way before then was instantly gone like an age difference the geography difference the difference in personality all of that stuff that you have to work through and anyway it's it's just a another reminder that you never know who you're going to connect with unless you give that an opportunity right to blossom can i can i yes please yeah okay so her husband um he and i definitely have like an intellectual connection and when we played like he totally knew how to play with my body.

Yeah. It was weird. Like, in a really good way, weird. Like, he didn't have to figure it out. I felt like he already understood me before he even touched me. Yeah. It was crazy. Right. Like, so, you know, that's one of those friendships that you make and you're like wow damn we don't live near them we would have we would have missed an opportunity if we had not invested the time to get to know them so you guys are amazing yes we are looking forward to seeing you again. Yes, definitely seeing you again. Yes. So let's close this up. Gosh, what an amazing trip to Desire.

We hope that we see you guys next year. We invite you to be a part of our We Got a Thing membership community, and you can find out more about that on our website. We've got.

I mean, we just have the most incredible people on there they're unconditionally supportive of one another um we we can talk about anything well it goes from sharing sexy pictures one day to all of a sudden somebody shares something serious that we're that they're going through and the whole community just responds yeah and kind to that so it's just yeah something recently happened and mr jones and i were like this is going to be a test of our community yeah and people stepped up yeah completely yeah supportive so we'd love to have you join us there um join us on cassidy um or double date nation to websites that we recommend and you can go to our website and get 90 day free trials for for either of them yep um don't forget about podcasts at balooza yes i think i think time is limited yep and then you know that desire mansion is incredible yeah we still have our valentine's week open at the mansion and we have new year's christmas week 2020 like why did we not take the valentine's week for ourselves We're going in the beginning.

Well, we might. Yeah, I know. Well, because we're going to be in Austin the weekend before. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Damn. I'm sorry. You know, we got to figure out how to not work for a living. I know. Yeah. So please contact us. You can email me at mrjones at wegotathing.com or me at mrsjones at wegotathing.com And of course our website is wegotathing.com You can follow us on Twitter at wegotathing. And we are also on Pinterest which kind of blows my mind. And we are on IG as the youngsters call it. Oh, Instagram. Yes, that's right. Sorry. I don't even have Instagram on my phone.

Honey, I know. My gosh. We don't need to admit that. Oh, Instagram. Yes, that's right. I don't even have Instagram on my phone. Honey, I know. My gosh. We don't need to admit that. Yeah, I know. Okay. So anyway, thanks for listening. We are Mr. and Mrs. Jones, and we got a thing. What's your thing? We'll see you next time.