When first considering reasons for entering the lifestyle making lifelong friends is not normally the goal. But after getting used to connecting with people and having some sexy playtimes we begin to realize how 'human' our lifestyle friends are and how these friendships are sometimes deeper, more meaningful and more real than any we've had before. We talk about our pathway to discovering our tribe in the lifestyle and just how special some of these friendships have become!
Transcript
This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-pos positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us?
hello everyone i'm mr jones and i'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 66 of the we got a thing podcast what's 66 about mrs jones discovering your lifestyle tribe because we just did that in a big way about what two three weeks ago we did yeah i think we've caught up on our sleep from being down and not in New Orleans. Oh my gosh. Well, yeah, it was the impetus for the subtopic that we're going to talk about tonight. Yep. That and a few other things that have happened in the past month or two. Yeah.
But before we get to that, we've got a lot to catch up on yeah you know first first of all um our national so today is what friday august 16th okay we have what two slots left for nashville uh well technically one but i think we can do a little squeezing okay you know those lifestyle people like to cuddle. So the event that we are hosting in Nashville, the weekend of September 28th is just about full. Yes. So if you are interested, you might want to just shoot us a message and let us know. Yeah, don't sign up on our website. Actually, just go ahead and send us an email. Yeah.
Yeah, because technically we only have one room left, but the hotel is being awesome and they i think they're going to let us add a couple rooms if we need them so yeah and we've just got an agreement with the lifestyle club um in nashville yes menage and we are going to they're giving us a great deal and we're taking the party to them yeah they're giving us a couple vip areas and a big section of the club and we're co-sponsoring that with uh double date nation yep with dave and andy so yep and they let us pick the theme night we're gonna do some daisy dukes yes we are yeah so between nashville on friday night and bar hopping and um a photography profile seminar and a couple of workshops and we're gonna have all kinds of fun yeah we are and you know what what my daisy dukes just came in the mail yesterday you didn't tell me that i tried them on but you were in the shower this afternoon so i have to try them on again yes i have my cowboy boots okay i got my daisy dukes they're cute they're denim and they have like little lace hanging out of the bottom of them and the only way that i'm gonna say that they're cute and that lace matches my white lace bra i'm gonna wear are your ass cheeks hanging out pretty much okay well then i'll like it and my boobs hang out too well you like my boobs don't you yeah but what's that got to do with your shorts well it doesn't have anything to do with my shorts but you know it's a whole outfit yeah oh so you have the top that ties so it's a white lace bra and then my top's kind of like open in the front okay got it basically i just my bra with a little bit of like a shirt and i got a white cowboy hat to match you can try that on later for me tonight.
If you're lucky. Okay. Well, you already look pretty sexy. So, yeah, so that's Nashville. We're looking forward to that. The next thing is this event that is gaining speed and momentum quickly, especially after not in New Orleans. Yes. So, Podcast Palooza. Yes.
It's coming up in May, the 15th through the 18th of next year in miami yes and i believe it's just about 20 sold out already yeah gosh that's crazy because it's almost a year away and we know a lot of people who have said they're going that haven't signed up yet yeah so this is definitely going to be i think it's one of those things you know you and i were just talking about i'm like it seems like it's so far away i think people are like oh yeah that's something that you know i'm going to get around to sign it up for um and and i'm afraid that what's going to happen because it's a small boutique hotel that we're right having this at so it doesn't have a huge capacity this isn't like on the scale of naughty new orleans so it it's going to be i think pretty um hard to get into at the last minute yeah i know we're a little bit biased because we adore kate and you adore daryl i adore kate too but we've been to a lot of uh let's just say at this stage in life honey honey, we've been to a lot of events.
We have. Lifestyle and non-lifestyle. And I can tell you how super impressed I am of all of the organization and the work and the thoughtfulness that Kate has put into this. Yeah. And not, you know, just looking at the agenda is one thing, but knowing what she has, these little secrets and things that she's so thoughtful and she thinks of everything, this event is going to be amazing. It's going to be not only like crazy fun because Kate and Daryl are pretty, like they're just fun. They are. Like they just put themselves out there and just let go and have fun. Right.
So not only is it going to be fun, it's going to be informative. And then we're going to be spoiled rotten. Those are the little things that are being planned behind the scenes. So we're going to be pampered and spoiled and just really made to be, you know, we're going to feel special just by attending. So anyway, if you want to join us there, you can go to our website, wegotathing.com.
the very top of the page there's a link to podcast palooza and click into there and you can get all the information and sign up and meet us in miami next year yeah and have you gone to the hotel website yet no it is a cool hotel really yes i went to the website and looked at like the photo gallery and everything i mean it's like right middle of South Beach. Nice. Yes. It is going to be a really good time. Nice. The last thing that we want to talk about before we get into what we've been up to is we really weren't going to mention this, but it's really changed.
Our audience has grown a lot recently. And we've noticed it just by some of the emails we're getting yeah yeah so in may um esquire magazine and i'm just a little bit ignorant because i mean i've heard of esquire magazine but i don't i didn't understand their reach they put an article out about uh titled the top 15 sex positive podcast of 2019. And lo and behold, not only are we on the list, but when you open the list, we're at the top slot. Yeah. And, uh, you and I were at, I think we were at desire. We were, it was my birthday.
And I saw a tweet come through and I said, Oh, look at look at this is pretty cool you know we've been named one of the top 15 not lifestyle podcasts but sex positive or yeah sex positive podcast yeah and we thought well that's really cool and we didn't know anything about it um they didn't tell us ahead of time there was no voting that i'm aware of it just you know we were selected i think somebody like had put it on twitter and then you noticed like there was like a retweet or something and so you just accidentally found it yeah they didn't even notify us that's the way i found out i found that on social media but we didn't say anything about it then because i don't think we understood what it really meant but at this point in time what we're realizing is that still today, we are getting a huge number of visits to our website and our podcast from referrals from Esquire.
And it hasn't diminished. So whatever they do, people are still finding us. Right.
And the point of us bringing this up is that these are people that are probably new to the lifestyle or just curious about the lifestyle and the idea of the idea of a consensual non-monogamy in general so we just thought that maybe we needed to kind of like reintroduce ourselves yeah those of you who have listened to a while you know when you only have about five or ten podcasts out and people find you they go back to number one and listen to all 10 but then when you get 20 or 30 out people listen to maybe 20 or 25 and then they go back to one and sometimes binge all the way to where you are but when you have 66 episodes out well and and when your episodes are like 90 minutes yeah like ours so typically now when people find us they'll find the latest one and then they'll go back and listen to the first one maybe, but then skip around and just to topics that are of interest, but not necessarily go back.
So we're finding that there are a lot of people that have just discovered us and that really don't know who we are. So we wanted to take a minute to introduce ourselves, and we suggest that everyone go back to at least episode one and two and maybe three.
they're not very good we're just gonna say that right now because we were we were definitely not professionals when we started this and we're still not but and the other thing we want to refer people to is to go to our website and in the about us section there's our creed and a little bit about us and our relationship in there so that's a good thing to read as well yeah but we just want people to know that we are in the lifestyle we've been married a long time we've been in the lifestyle for six years now and podcasting for over five right and you know we are social swingers you know we do this you know to deepen our relationship and to have fun with other people and so I think if you brand new to the idea of the lifestyle, there's a whole lot to learn.
We're going to talk a little bit about that tonight. And there's a whole, there's a whole myriad of ways to play. And you know, one, one thing that people need to understand about us is that we, you know, we have a very specific way that we engage in the lifestyle. We, we play together, right?
You know, we don't do separate rooms passes we don't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend and and that isn't because we don't approve of that that's just not what turns us on as a couple and that's not really like satisfying our fantasies and desires that we have correct you know so it's not that we think anything else is like anything different from what we do is wrong. It's just not our thing. Correct. So you need to know our thing. So when you listen to us, you kind of know the perspective we're coming from.
And then what you can do is decide, you know, is what you're hearing, you know, does it resonate with you? Is this the style you're looking for?
And if it is, you know, we're glad to have you and we hope you stick around if it's not before you just give up on lifestyle podcasts the other thing you can find on our website at the very bottom are other lifestyle podcasts and if you click into that link you know there's a whole host of podcasts that we've listened to many of these folks we're friends with and that we recommend you know So go to that section of our website and try some of the other ones if ours doesn't resonate with you and see if you can find one. The other podcasts might just have different ways of playing.
We do a lot of dating and we do events. Some of our friends go to clubs all the time and their experiences center around clubs or some of our friends play separately and it works for them and they have so much fun doing it and they tell the most amazing stories about their experiences. So there's just something for everyone out there. Yeah, and ours is more knowledge sharing and kind of educational. And there are some out there that are sexy stories. There are some out there that are answering every question that you can think of. Some are, some are just flat out funny and entertaining.
So, you know, everybody has a different style. And so we just invite you to check those other ones out. And welcome to all of you. It's really amazing and kind of humbling that we were named to this and just wanted to take time to say hello. Yeah, welcome. Yeah, so back to what's been going on. on gosh we're just now getting to keeping up with the joneses i know well obviously naughty new orleans is what was going on that that is definitely in the forefront of our minds and and the minds of the other 3 000 people that were there with us yes um it was was probably my favorite naughty ever.
This was our fifth one. We skipped last year. Right. And just decided that it had been too long since we had been. So we went back and so glad we did. So what made this one your favorite? Well, there's a couple different things. You know, I felt like because you and I have been hosting events lately, um, our little weekend things, which are just minuscule in, in comparison to this event that, you know, Bob and Tess put on with, you know, just amazing organization and everything.
So, um, it just kills me that, um, sometimes it is hard for me to get out of host mode and have sexy fun when you and I host events. And that is my problem. I'm just not good at switching gears like that. So when we go to places like Naughty, we're not hosting. We're just having fun. And we're hanging out with our friends.
And because, like you just referred referred to a few minutes ago we've been doing this for almost six years so we've met so many people and um it's just really it's amazing just to walk down bourbon street and you're walking towards somebody and you kind of step to the side to get out of the way and you look up at them and you're like hey you know and you might have seen him in a couple of years, but you know, it's just like, it's so fun to reconnect with people. Right. Yeah.
I think that, um, we know so many people now and this is really what we're going to talk about later in our topic, but you know, contrast this to our first naughty New Orleans, when we were, you know, deer in the headlights, we were so were so scared. Overwhelmed by a lot of it and, you know, kind of wondering why we were there, you know, because this didn't look like anything we would enjoy, you know, to what it is now. We're not going to do a blow by blow of the event.
I mean, you can hear that from some of our past episodes and you can certainly hear that from some of the other podcasts that are going to be putting episodes out they already have or will be in the next few weeks but um we did want to mention a couple of things and first of all we wanted to thank everyone who came to our meet and greet yeah we were in host mode once yeah just for an hour and a half yeah before it started on wednesday afternoon we we hosted a meet and greet at the house of blues and it was so much fun and we were a little concerned because um we we didn't publicize it as much as we've publicized our meet and greets in the past so we were afraid that the word hadn't got out but I think I counted like 120 something people yeah I think the word got out yeah we want to thank the house of blues again they've hosted us the past couple of times that voodoo garden could not be a more ideal place it's a perfect place it's outside but it's shaded it's kind of like a brick patio and it's got like a stage at one end of it and then the the back end of it is a covered bar and they had a couple bartenders working that were totally on their game and you didn't really have to wait long for a drink.
And I was just awesome just catching up with people. And we got to meet a lot of people. Yeah, we did. People in our community, just people that, you know, listen to our podcast. And I think people that just came with friends. Yeah. So, you know, we got to do a lot of handshaking and hugging and reconnecting. And drinking. Oh, yeah. And kissing. Yeah. So, you know, we got to do a lot of handshaking and hugging and reconnecting. And drinking. Oh, yeah. And kissing. And kissing. Yeah. And kissing. Hey, you know, I didn't get sick this year. I know. That's amazing. I know.
And I really didn't lose my voice. Yeah, but that's because we were... It got croaky. It got croaky, but I didn't lose it. Well, that's because we didn't go to all of the afternoon bar takeovers. And when we did, we went upstairs and kind of stayed in the quiet section. Yeah, we did try to get away from the music because we were trying to talk. Yeah, we were trying to talk and connect with people. So we either went on the balcony overlooking Bourbon Street or we went upstairs to the smaller areas and hung out. But it was a lot of fun.
And we wanted to say a special shout out again to everyone that we met at the podcasters meet and greet. Yeah, on Thursday morning at the Saints and Sinners Bar. That was so much fun. Yeah. And I think we're going to try to hopefully, I'm sure we'll forget somebody, but we. There were so many podcasters there. I know we've forgotten people. The place was jam-packed. Yeah. You know, and there were so many podcasters and bloggers there.
and everyone had tables out and there were so many podcasters there i know we forgot the place was jam-packed yeah you know and there were so many podcasters and bloggers there and everyone had tables out and there were giveaways and people were lined up outside to get in and you know the bar was kind of small so it was a lot of chaos but it was a lot of fun yeah so we got to meet um well we got to see kate andaryl, and we haven't seen them from Swinging Down Under. Yep. And our friends Paige and Penn from Swinger Diaries. Yep. It's always good to catch up with them. Yep.
We got to see Tori and Sol from the Torrid Sol's podcast again, the Just Keep Swinging podcast with Mr. and Mrs. Sting. Jay and Angie, average swingers. Yeah. You know, you can't go to Nadia and not have them there. That's just their part of it. You may have a story about them later. I'm pretty sure you do. Also, Mr. and Mrs. Monogamish from Monogamish Marriage Blog was there. And then the Tangos were there from Two and More to Tango. Yes. Bomber and the Bell from the Black and Kinky podcast. And Mickey and Mallory from the Casual Swingers. Yep. And we got to have lunch with them too.
That was so much fun. Yeah. They are hilarious. Yeah. And can I just say, she is so pretty. Yeah. Oh my goodness. And he's pretty high energy. In case you haven't figured that out yet. And our friends from Beyond Our Bedroom blog, and we've corresponded with them a lot and finally got to meet them. Yep, and we finally got to meet Ray and Dee from the Euphoria Chronicles. Yeah, and I had to force myself on her. Oh, you did? Not in that way. She is such a pure soul and just a joyful person. Yes. And she was like spinning like a top, setting tables up and making sure everything was ready.
And I tried to talk to her and she kept moving around. So finally, I just put my hands on her shoulders and her shoulders are about at where my chest is. She's tiny. She is tiny.
And tiny and i said d take a break and she said i i this is just my nature i said well i want to talk to you and she said oh okay and so i forced her to have a conversation with me so i could get to know them a little bit oh yeah we had so much fun talking to them yeah and of course that's her nature because they host these amazing you know club euphoria parties right so she knows how to be organized i think she does uh we were able to meet james and tara from sex uninterrupted yep and i'm gonna go ahead and mention katherine because she was there with her husband, and Catherine has guested on a couple of our podcasts.
Yes, and she travels and does workshops with us on our weekend. So she was there and got to meet people too. And they were super excited to meet her. Yeah. She has quite the following. Yeah, definitely. And it was good to see John and Jackie from Open Love 101. Oh, yes. Yes, definitely. As well to catch up with them. And I know that we've forgotten somebody because there were other podcasters there that we didn't get to meet and bloggers. So it was a lot of fun.
And we just wanted to thank Kate and thank Bob and Tess for putting this on the schedule and giving us an opportunity to come together and meet everybody. Definitely. But overall, I think that we had an awesome time and you know what the weather was amazing it was crazy like new orleans in july was not humid no it was in the low to mid 80s with very little humidity for all four days yeah sunny it never rained it was incredible well i think it rained for like 10 minutes one day. Oh, okay. Whatever. That was about it. Yeah. It was incredible.
But, I mean, we did the usual, you know, the drinking and the bourbon street and the beignets and the biscuits and the crystal burgers, all the food. Oh, yeah. You ate your one pound biscuit that was the size of a softball. That was strategic because that biscuit was so big, I know it absorbed at least four beers. Yeah, that's true. Because it laid in my stomach for a long time. We had some amazing dinners. We did. And some really great venues. Yeah, with some really great friends. Yes. That we'll talk about in a minute. Yep. So it's been a good month.
We have, I think the rest of August is, we're catching our breaths. We're not traveling anymore. Until Nashville. Until Nashville. Yeah. Let's go. It's been a good month. We have, I think the rest of August is, we're catching our breaths. We're not traveling anymore. Until Nashville. Until Nashville. Yeah. And I'm actually kind of looking forward to that. You mean? I mean, to stay in home. Yeah. Yeah, we had too many trips in a row planned. I know. That's definitely a first world problem. Yeah, I know. And then Desire will be here before you know it. I know, that's the truth.
Okay truth okay well that's what's been going on with the joneses and when we come back we're going to get more into discovering your lifestyle tribe and what that word actually means welcome back to segment two we're going to figure out what a lifestyle tribe is and how to figure out where you belong we're going to hopefully help you discover that that's right and you know i think this applies to people at all experience levels in the lifestyle because i think we all need to constantly kind of reassess where we are. I mean, I know you and I are kind of going through that right now. Yes.
Why did you kind of sigh when you said that? Because it's a lot of work. It is. Yeah, it is. More on that later. But no, seriously, like, you know, we're all trying to constantly, hopefully, reassess what we're searching for in the lifestyle. Yeah. And what we're trying to get out of it as a couple.
Yeah, so the point I think tonight is when we first got into this, or generally speaking, when couples or individuals first decide to get into the lifestyle, speaking from experience, the very last thing I was thinking about is making a group of friends and joining a community and becoming really close with a lot of people. That kind of actually freaked you out. Yes, it did. Yeah, because all I could think of was. Those people want to be my friends. Yeah, I'm happy where I am. They're in my personal space. Yeah, I'm happy with my friends. I'm happy with my family. I'm happy with my life.
I just want to go learn how to have sex with other people, with you and me. I don't need to replace anything. And it was a little bit... I didn't want to feel like that it was going to be that big or take over my life. It was just this little thing that you and I were going to do. Right. So it was just going to be like this fun, naughty secret that we had. Yeah. And maybe if we were lucky, you know, some sexy fun with some other couples, you know, every now and again, you know, just to say he, that was fun. We did that. Right. And that's really all we thought about like beforehand. Yeah.
But then I think once we like started getting our toes wet we realized that it was going to affect our relationship yes in a good way yeah yes that's i'm glad you added that yeah i mean that was the first thing that we and we we kind of learned that early on in our journey that was something that we, but it happened. And we realized, that's when we first started to realize that this was more than just sex with other people. Right.
And because I think when we came into this, like a lot of other people, we have this perception of what the lifestyle is and who swingers are, and we were just wrong. Right, right.
And we drank so much wine that first year we have this little like it's we don't have really like a separate sitting room in our bedroom but we have like this little sitting area and we we have this like little cafe table that just has like is it like literally just for two people so we would sit there at night and drink wine because our daughter still lived at home when we were trying to hide all right have private conversations and and that's all i remember about that first year is sitting at that table with a glass of wine and you and i talking and sometimes listening to podcasts and um having sex yeah well talking and then after we finished our wine we would go have sex right and it would be like desperate sex because we were trying to like make sure that you know we were still okay yeah so we would have like this frantic sex like okay he still loves me yeah it was almost like the idea of it was such a threat yeah and a risk that even walking from listening to a podcast or talking about it to bed we were reclaiming ourselves right and we hadn't even met anybody yet and i just i it kind of made me i don't know i don't think this was bad this sounds bad but it almost made me kind of clingy to you like i was constantly touching you like in the kitchen i would walk by and i would touch you and and that's kind of become a habit now and i know sometimes it probably annoys you but i still do it anyway right so i think So I think what we're saying is that, you know, you're where we are now is in such a different place than what we imagined or couldn't imagine at the beginning.
Right.
And that's what we really want to talk about tonight is these friendships that, I mean, we made friends early, but we didn't really understand what these friends who these friends were going to become and how important they were going to become to us right because our initial perception of what the lifestyle was going to provide to our relationship was just sexy fun for you and i and it was all about you and i period right it had like these other people were going to be like human sex toys that we would discard when we were done with them well well not that callous but but as far as like relationships go oh yeah yeah if you would have said exclusivity or polyamory that was kind of harsh wasn't it yeah sorry it was sorry friends because i don't remember that i wanted to actually meet the people okay i just learned something new about you tonight that's okay there's nothing wrong with that i mean doesn't mean it's different doesn't mean wrong that's not me okay yeah so what we're going to let's let's start at the beginning um you know, when we first, as we were talking about, when we first get into this, we don't know where to start.
We're intimidated by this.
We get online or we go to a website or we go to a meet and greet and we realize that there's this underground world that we're starting to discover but we don't really want to be in it we just want to right put our toes in it for a while and then step back out well you may want to be in it but you don't know how to get in it and and it just seems really intimidating and scary and and like you know like what's the initiation you know like the secret password or whatever it's it's so intimidating and there's so many misperceptions like i remember thinking that like the first party or club or event we went to i thought all of those weird people in there they do that all the time that's who they are they're all friends they all live near each other they do this all the time and you and i are just a normal couple.
We don't want to do it all the time. We just want to go in and play. And we want to come back out to our normal suburbia, vanilla, middle class life. Right. And unbeknownst to us, all those people in the club did the exact same thing. Exactly. They all have two kids and a dog and grass to mow and groceries to buy. Yeah. And we're worried about people finding out who we are and running into people that we know. I know. And we're worried about, should we use our real names and all of those things that scare us to death. Right. Speaking of a lot of new listeners. So some of you may be there.
Well, and you do need to use caution. Of course. Yeah. Yeah, but we really don't have that understanding or desire to establish a new group of friends. Correct. You already have friends. Well, and you already have a busy schedule. So trying to even imagine, how are we going to even have time for a whole new group of friends? We already have friends. We just don't want the friends we have to find out what we do and everything will be fine. Exactly. We can stay in that little world.
The next thing I think that we're doing is as we get into it, then we're trying to figure out, once we figure out what the lifestyle is, like, what is our thing in the lifestyle? Yeah. What do you want to do? to do like you know do you do you like going out on dates with people or do you want to go to clubs and and just randomly meet people and have this anonymous sex because that's your fantasy yeah i mean do you is there a club in the area do you like going to a club are you going to date people if not um How are you going to engage in the lifestyle?
Those were questions that we had to figure out ourselves like everyone else. And, I mean, you can go back and listen to our first podcast. I mean, we were soft swap. And we stressed about full swap. And we stressed about the no kissing rule. And we stressed about. Said I'd never play with a single guy. Yeah. Yeah.
There was a lot of nevers in there yeah the word never is silly in the lifestyle yeah so there wasn't i think what we're getting at is there wasn't the mindset that we were open to meeting friends because we were still so focused on preserving and protecting our relationship that we weren't open enough to see, to make long-lasting friends it just wasn't on the radar right we were focused on each other right and i and i don't and i think we were because we were afraid we were kind of closed in so we weren't even like appealing to other people that would want to reach out to us right you know under more friendly or open circumstances so you I don't know.
So we weren't even appealing to other people that would want to reach out to us under more friendly or open circumstances. So you and I were a little, I guess I could say, standoffish when we would go to events at first. Yeah, and I'm just going to be honest.
I mean, and it doesn't sound very nice, but we didn't even realize there was going to be people in the lifestyle like us that we would connect with we so we were that judgy well i i just didn't understand i thought um i thought that we would get in there and meet people but they wouldn't be like us because why didn't we know about this before why weren't there a lot of resources why we know our imagination and our perception was that there are not people like us in there right so we not only were we trying to meet people engage in the lifestyle figure out our play style but i don't think we realized the type of people that we were going to end up connecting with right as friends right and in our, and maybe to kind of like toot our own horn, there weren't a lot of resources back then.
Right. There were only like, I can think of like three or four podcasts on Swing It at that point in time. And there really weren't, blogs hadn't really started up yet. So the resources really weren't out there.
And now you all have such a wide variety of resources you know like we were saying at the beginning of this episode you know there's just so many different lifestyle podcasts out there now and and blogs and there's just you know so much information to consume to to find something that's going to resonate with you right and your personality right So I think what we did at that point in time is we made a decision that, okay, we've tried it. We think we like it. We don't really understand it, but we think it's worth the effort.
So we decided to take our first year and do everything that we could and invest ourselves in that first year right and because we didn't know like we don't have um a club reasonably local to us there's you know there's one a couple hours away right um but we so clubs really aren't our thing um so we we did a lot of traveling and then locally we did a lot of dating Those were really kind of our only options. And there were a couple of parties, but those were only a couple times a year. Well, we went to, I think, one house party, and we went to Naughty in New Orleans. Yeah.
And we went to Desire again. And we went to a big meet and greet. Yeah. And we went to a local event.
So we tried to do a little bit of expanding our horizons and then we began to understand what all of the opportunities were right we started meeting you know people and understanding that that we could actually meet people that were just like us right and then we got comfortable playing with people yeah and it wasn't as overwhelming like having sex with somebody else wasn't as you know when you first do it it's especially when you're our age when you've had sex with the same people same person your whole life and then and then all of a sudden you're in a group room or you're doing something different with somebody else it's really kind of a shock to the system yeah and then that becomes normal more normal after a while that sounds crazy but it's true yeah normalized yeah i would say and then you know the the other thing that um has been uh i don't want to say a pleasant surprise but the other thing i've learned to appreciate is that there are so many different ways to have fun in the lifestyle different play styles different um just different mindsets on what people want out of lifestyle and the the more i get to know people and hear their stories the more i might not want to play the way they play, but I've learned to respect the way they play and appreciate it.
And when they tell their stories, it's pretty damn hot, even though it's not something that personally interests me. Right.
I think that's an important thing for us to say that when when people are different anything different skin color gender age and how you engage in the lifestyle um people have this assumption that because we're doing something that what they're doing is better or worse than ours what we do yeah it's like whenever something's different the first thing our minds as humans go to is well that's not better than what we do or why do you think it's better and no one is saying anything about it being better it's different so the play style approaches are different polyamory is different hall passes are different um there's so many different flavors that we need to understand that different is a neutral statement right and and really that's kind of like the heart of the matter tonight is when you're talking about discovering your tribe you're trying to find people that are engaging the way that you see yourself engaging.
Correct. And so having a preference is okay. Yeah. Being judgmental is not. We've talked about judgment already, but having a preference is good and it needs to be refined. But be open-minded enough to come in and learn and try things. And then as you go down the road into the lifestyle, you learn what you like and you learn what you don't like. And you push some boundaries and you get out of your comfort zone. And as you move forward, it starts to crystallize in front of you like us. We really like doing this together. Right.
We really don't have an interest in playing separately right doesn't mean that people play separately there's something wrong with them yeah or it's bad and we like to get to know people first yes and a lot of people like to to be sexual swingers yeah nothing wrong with that yeah it's a difference so what we're saying is that we began to understand that there's a whole myriad of ways to engage in the lifestyle.
And we were connecting with people that were in many of these different areas, but we tended to gravitate towards people that appreciated and wanted to do and had fun doing the same things that we wanted to do. Right. You know, you and I have this thing where we really do want to get to know people before we hop in bed with them.
And that mindset that you and I have actually kind of shot us in the foot at knotty new orleans last month it did yes one night um we were in the lobby and it was just you and i and um a couple came up and and we had i think we had met them on our meet and greet or we met at a bar takeover or something and we started chatting with them and we were standing there for quite a few minutes talking to them and then another couple came up and I think we had met them too but the other two couples knew each other so the three couples we all started engaging well for some reason that stupid lobby bar at the main hotel for Nadi closes at 11 o'clock every stink at night business failure i know like do they not understand their revenue they're losing no like seriously so we're standing there we're all like really enjoying our conversation there's nothing to drink so one of the couples said hey you know we've got drinks up in our room our room's just right upstairs so the six of us went up to their room and they made us drinks and both of those couples were really nice and really attractive.
And I think we probably could have, and they're probably listening and they might have a completely different version of what happened that night. You think we missed an opportunity. I think the six of us could have had some fun. But number one, I remember standing there thinking, I'm going to like fall over because I'm so tired. Yeah. And, and secondly, you know, we, we didn't really know them. Oh, I see what you're saying. So I wasn't, you know, as comfortable. Now, some people probably would have been like all over that and good for them. Yeah.
And it's my fault well first of all we've had follow we had follow-on conversations with both of those couples after that and actually we've exchanged contact information we have and we're interested couples only lives a few hours away yes a little north of us um yeah they might have driven by driven down our way last weekend. Yeah. So your point is that if we weren't so daggone wedded to the way that we choose to interact, that we would have just thrown caution to the wind.
At least thrown it out there and see what would have happened i want to interrupt this program to give you special kudos for what for those who have listened in the past and recently you mrs jones talked about how you struggle to find your voice oh and when we started playing that things started into transition and you raised your hand not not literally but you said you know i'm just wiped out And I'll see you next time. that things started into transition and you raised your hand, not, not literally, but you said, you know, I'm just wiped out and I don't think I'm going to be much fun here.
And, and we left there and I was, I don't think I've ever been as happy leaving a room like that because I was just kissing a very beautiful woman.
They were, gosh both of those couples were so attractive and so sweet yeah and yeah there was a little disappointment there but as soon as we got out i told you i said i'm so you did i said i'm so proud of you because you found your voice and and what did everyone do i said okay yeah and we saw them both the next day and nobody was mad at us so a little bit of a yeah pause there just to close that little story out because you did find your voice but i think to your point you know we we choose to be a little bit more deliberate and get to know people and we we certainly could have and in new orleans um you're going to find that all over the place there's opportunities around every corner i know there there are and and there's like amazingly attractive sexy fun people right you know they just target rich environment okay so back to um our point here is that we're not we're no longer newbies in this we've we've been in the in the lifestyle for a year we've tried all these different things and we're starting to meet people and we realized that we we've made some friends yes and one of the things that happened to us that caused us to understand that if you think about real life and you think about who your best friends are they've been in the trenches with you yeah you know you've had a health scare you've had a loss of a family member you've had a loss of a job you've gotten a divorce or separated you're raising your kids teenagers that are you know, struggling.
Yeah. And so when you think back at those times, you know, the people that were by your side or supported you. And when you come out the other end, you have that bond. Your friendship is that much more rich and you're connected because of going through that together. so when we were outed and we had to make the decision do we want to continue podcasting well you know just by the way people responded when it happened the support from our lifestyle friends was just it was immediate and it was unconditional and it was, you know, whatever y'all need.
And it wasn't just like a one-time cursory, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry that happened to you. It was like the next day, good morning, just checking in. How are you guys feeling today? What's going through your mind? You know, and then the next day, it was another text. They didn't let it go. They stuck by us. Yeah it was our lifestyle friends it was our listeners yeah you know it was people that just knew us from the lifestyle and reached out and i think as we moved beyond that event we were able to reflect back and say dag daggone, these people are real friends. Yeah.
We can't leave this lifestyle. Yeah. And, you know, I said lifestyle is definitely not Facebook. You know, I don't really get on Facebook that much anymore because Facebook is fake. You know, everybody puts their perfect little pictures on there, their perfect little families and this and that. And I'm just, I'm kind of tired of it because it's not real. Yeah, those good times are there. But then, you know, there's other times where you just literally have to drag your butt out of bed in the morning. And, you know, you don't put that stuff on Facebook.
And I just get tired of the false reality that can be out there in social media. And the lifestyle is not like that because lifestyle friends know that your lifestyle journey is not easy. Everybody has struggles in the lifestyle. So I think your lifestyle friends kind of see the best and the worst of you and accept you for that because they have experienced the best and the worst of themselves as they've tried to navigate their way through the lifestyle. Right. Yeah, it's not, what do they call it, fake book. Yeah.
You know, because there's a certain level of a facade, as you mentioned, and in the lifestyle, when you take your clothes off in front of somebody, it's kind hard to be fake yeah and we talk about real stuff yeah like you know just without shame without guilt yeah without without fear of judgment so you're right it is the opposite of social media today yeah it's refreshing right so i think at this point in time we began to understand that there is this tribe of people that's forming yeah and it didn't it's not happening overnight but we met friends at our first naughty in new orleans that we still continued to see as i mentioned we were out, and we learned we had friends there.
We went to Desire and met people, and we started seeing them again in different places and hearing from them. And so our friendships started to evolve and get a lot more meaningful as time went on. And you know what the common thread is on everything that you just said? Naked? Face to face. Oh, I said that? No, I Face to face. Oh, I said that? No, I'm saying it. Oh, you're brilliant. I do all my moments. No, you have to meet people face to face. You know, the lifestyle dating websites have a purpose. Right. You know, you got to figure out who you want to meet face to face. Right.
You know, but all the, you can kick and you can chat and you can mewee and you can text in the next video. right you know you got to figure out who you want to meet face to face right you know but um all the you can kick and you can chat and you can me we and you can text and you can whatever you know all day long but until you actually meet face to face it all goes back to chemistry yeah and and you know just having that that open and honest conversation about you know what you're looking for and what you want and then if you have the you know kind of common thread there of of what Thank you.
that open and honest conversation about, you know, what you're looking for and what you want. And then if you have the, you know, kind of common thread there of, of what desires and fantasies you're trying to fulfill, then, you know, a friendship can definitely spring out of that. Yeah. And, and to your point, I think, I think online chatting and social media in the lifestyle is much better than Facebook, but there's still a shroud of the unknown around that. But it's a great place to start. You almost have to. Well, right. You have to. Well, you don't have to.
You can go find a club and just show up at the club. Well, if you live near a club. Right. Yeah. But at some point in time, if you're going to keep track of people or keep in touch with people, you know, and get out and meet people, you have to have some sort of a presence online. Right. And so to understand that it's really that face-to-face interaction where you can first learn if there really is a connection there. Right.
And so that is one thing that has been an amazing outcome from like our community for example um are we got a thing community are we got a thing community yeah we we've had people you know clearly get to know each other via social media but then you know now we're doing these like weekend meetups at different cities you know throughout the country and these friendships are forming and the coolest story and i honestly can't remember if we've told this on the podcast before or not but the coolest story to me is we had a meetup in san diego last winter and um there was a couple there that at that time they were boyfriend and girlfriend and then and were new to the lifestyle.
They were very new to the lifestyle. They were just this warm, friendly couple. Everybody hit it off with them. And they definitely, face-to-face, created some genuine friendships from that. Oh, yeah.
He flogged me that yeah you two have bonded definitely well then a couple months later they get engaged and then the next thing we know they're planning a wedding and like the people in our community that they met in san diego are standing up for them at their wedding yeah so that their actual wedding was their their lifestyle tribe yeah so people they had met online met face to face in san diego most of them yeah invited them to vegas and you know eight or eight or ten couples flew to las vegas and stood up for them at their wedding i think it was more than that it was incredible like it was incredible yeah you know so that that's a tribe right there yes it is well and i think getting back to that's a great story about the wedding but also getting back to new orleans this is the first time that we scheduled playtime in advance.
You know, we knew there were going to be so many friends there. Right. And we had such a good time because of the people that we connected with and not because of the event itself. It's a great event.
But, you know, this, the tribe, so to to speak that we continue to be a part of and recognize and and you know there were so many people there so many people that we had seen you know before and really know and yeah and and i mean good friends that don't live close to us so we had to take advantage of being in the same city with them definitely so yeah So yeah, we were, this really doesn't sound sexy, but we were pretty strategic. And we got things on the calendar. Yeah. And I really think that that was a good move on your part, because at first I was like, oh, brother.
But going with the flow sometimes leaves you out in the cold, because time slips by, and And then, you know, unbeknownst to you, the couple that you wanted to hook up with that night made plans with somebody else, not because they didn't want to be with you, but just because, you know, the opportunity presented itself for them. But I think because of where we are now, that makes a lot of sense. You know, before when we went, we deliberately did not make plans with people because we wanted to meet new people, and we didn't have the cadre of friends that we have now. Yeah. But now we do.
And so it's more important to us to spend time with people that we know and that we care about and not miss that opportunity than it is to try to meet somebody. I mean, a lot of new people but i'm talking about actually getting to play and to your point earlier it's really not our style to meet new people and play right away anyway right and speaking of our our community another thing that a cool thing that happened speaking of tribes is that um just so happens that there's a lot of people in our community that live in the northeastern part of the U.S.
and in Toronto, and they just decided to put together their own event. Yeah, I know. You and I just need to kind of completely retire. I know.
I'm so tired of people saying how's retired life well i'm not exactly watching tv all day so anyway we we would love to be able to do more of these weekend events that we're starting to host but we just can't be away that often so this group put together their own weekend meetup yeah in toronto it was just last weekend yeah and oh my goodness we got to see pictures and we were getting like little updates throughout the weekend from a couple different people and sounds like they had an amazing time yeah the point is that they recognized and they formed their own they were a part of our community but they formed their own tribe and said they're going to have their own event and people flew there and traveled there and and had a great weekend that's the whole point of our community is for people to make connections exactly you know so i guess the commonality in our community is people listen to our podcast um so they have that going in right to establish a relationship and then you know from there they you know with these weekends they get to meet face to face and then and then find those connections yeah and then personal friends i mean like you know this this stuff all happened in the past month but we had there's a couple that we've been friends with good friends with for a long time and he going to be in town, but his wife wasn't.
And so he said, hey, if you guys are available for dinner, I'd love to meet you out for dinner. And we said, well, why don't you just come to the house? And he did. He talked to his wife first. Talked to his wife. And we had no expectations. And he came down.
And and we had drinks we cooked out just like a regular swinger dinner we chatted did we did we have steak yes we did yes we did flirted you two flirted a little bit and then i wore a really sexy you did you just to torture and then we called it a night and he went upstairs and slept in the guest room yep a really sexy outfit too just to torture him a little bit uh and then we called it a night and he went upstairs and slept in the guest room yep and got up the next morning and i took him to the train station and there was never any uh there was never any there was not any awkwardness, because they don't play separately.
We don't play separately. And we all knew it. And we actually FaceTimed his wife right before we had dinner, right after we had dinner. And I'm actually very honored that she trusted us. Yeah. Well, and he made mention the next day. He sent us a nice note and said, you know, I would have never done this in the past. I would have never taken the time, you know, to come to a friend's house and not without my wife. And, you know, he was expressing the same thing that, you know, it's just we're friends. Yeah. And that's what friends do. Right.
When the four of us are together, we might, you know, be a little more adventurous. Yeah. Well, a lot more that's true but that but it wasn't a disappointment it was their friends and and again that's a good example of somebody who is a friend yeah it's just not i wouldn't even say a lifestyle friend i mean they are but they're just friends well and it was i mean it was super fun to flirt with them because it, I knew nothing was going to come of it. Um, but it, it was fun. I could flirt with him and kind of torture him a little bit. And, and I didn't have to worry.
It never even crossed my mind that I was like going to get myself in over my head and like tempt him.
And then it would be awkward because I, I trusted him to know that i was just messing with him right and and that there wouldn't be anything that i would have to fix right because i think we know each other that well yes and then we went out we went to a winery this past weekend with some good friends and we hadn't seen them in a year yes and these this couple they are one of our very very first lifestyle friends yeah they knew us before we were the jounces yeah we met them at our very first night in new orleans yeah and and we so we met them in new orleans turns out they only live an hour and a half from us and we have remained friends all this time and yeah so we let like over 12 months go by without seeing them yeah which was really stupid in hindsight right but i think the point is you know the last time we saw them there was a there was a bit of a misunderstanding you know and i think in normal life we would have just written that off and said oh well we have other friends or you know maybe they don't still want to be with us anymore but when we got together we actually said hey we'd like to talk about this and they said glad you brought that up and we ended up talking it out and talking through it and it was a huge misunderstanding yeah it was a misperception on our behalf and a misperception on their behalf and i'm not going to say it caused a rift but it really was there and and we knew that we cared about them enough that we wanted to bring it up and we had a great conversation so again the type of friendship that you can even if we had not mentioned that it was still a fun afternoon yeah and we would still have remained friends but to be able to have an opportunity to sit across the table from people where you know, there's a misunderstanding where if you think about regular family and vanilla friends, you just, it's better just to keep your mouth shut sometimes.
I don't even want to go into that because I know where this conversation is going to lead or I'm, I don't want to spend the energy. But we really like these people and we have fun with these people. Well, and we know that they like us. And so we thought, well, if they're really good friends, we should talk about it. And we talked about it. And we ended up, it wasn't a big deal. It wasn't what the other ones thought it was. So the point is that, again, lifestyle friends, you have that type of relationship where, okay, we've already had sex together, but we know their family.
We know things about them. We know their bumps and bruises along the way. We know health issues, and we care about them. And so it's easier to bring up topics like this because you genuinely care about somebody and they care about you so you don't have to put up with all of the fake stuff that you were mentioning before. People just say, yeah, I want to talk about that. I'm glad you brought that up. Yeah. So I guess maybe the big question now that we need to talk about is, how do you find this tribe? We keep talking about a tribe and how cool it is to find your tribe. Okay.
To sum things up, I think the first point we need to make is I'll see you next time. keep talking about a tribe yeah and how cool it is to find your tribe okay to to sum things up i think the the first point we need to make is you don't need to try to find your tribe when you're first getting into the lifestyle your tribe will find you you know you need to find you need to find yourselves oh okay you know you need as an individual you need to get comfortable with it. And as a couple, you need to get used to it. And your relationship needs to adjust.
Okay, now, I'm going to push back on you a little bit. Because, like, I, and you and I did it on our own at first. And it was really, really hard. And once I got to know people, especially ladies in the lifestyle, because ladies have lots of words and we like to get our words out. Yeah, no shit. I like to think out loud. So when I have ladies that are in the lifestyle that I can talk to, and then I can figure out what it is I really want.
Like just talking out loud about stuff and hearing other people's experiences and approaches sometimes point me in the right direction or affirm what i already know or maybe challenge what i think i know about myself i think what you're saying is that we have a solution for that problem i'm thinking back of when we get into the lifestyle we weren't aware of it but i think what you're saying is the people that have joined our community have found that to be the place where they can early on in the lifestyle even before sometimes they have play time with other people they find a group of people that they can connect and talk with right and share they can think out loud and not be judged well you're you're correct i i agree with you i just don't if that existed when we started i just we just didn't know about it well but but i guess there there's more than one way to to go about that i mean i'm i'm not trying to sell our community i'm just saying you need to find a group of people that you can talk to yeah and like think this stuff through and you can do that like i know we have friends that go to club the same club like every weekend that's like their saturday night and they have a tribe at their club true you know and we have more i'm thinking of two different states three different states where people do that like, and they have a tribe at their club.
You know, and we have more, I'm thinking of two different states, three different states, where people do that, like, regularly, and they have this core group of friends that they really count on. Yeah. You know, so a club is a good way to do that. Some people go on, like, a cruise every year. They go to Desire the same week every year, and they end up with this tribe of people at whatever vacation spot they're going to, Caliente. There's so many different places where people go on a regular recurring basis, and they develop this core group of friends there.
I think we're saying the same thing. What I'm saying is that before you even go in that door at that club, or before you even tell your wife you're joining a website, the last thing you're thinking about is finding a tribe of people. You're talking about what is the lifestyle? Is it something I'm interested in? How am I going to get my spouse to get into that?
So my perception, my answer to that question was based on not knowing anything about the lifestyle but you're right whether it's desire once a year or whether it's a cruise or however you're going to engage you can start to build that tribe and connect with that tribe from the outset it just takes a while to get there because it does and and that isn't necessarily the tribe of people you're going to have sex with every Saturday night. Correct. You know, your tribe doesn't have to be the people that you are going to have sex with. It's the people that you can kind of lean on for support.
Right, right. And when people say they're picky and that they're having a hard time connecting, I say good because... You haven't found your tribe yet. Right. And when people say they're picky and that they're having a hard time connecting, I say good because you haven't found your tribe. Right. Yeah. And if you were settling for a group of people or people that you you really don't thoroughly enjoy being with, then you're losing the opportunity to connect with the people that can become your tribe. Yes. So I say good for you if you're picky. You should be.
And you should, you know, continue to explore. I mean, that's why we still, you know, we still like to meet new people, but we want to become friends with them if we're going to play with them, you know, normally.
But then we have a group of people that we we've known for a long time yeah so we're still you know in other words we don't just take our core group of friends and then shut down and never do anything else except for with our core group of friends right but some people some people do that you know what i'm thinking though um out of our our group of friends that we are probably the closest to and have been friends with on a long-term basis, I think we met most of them at Naughty New Orleans, which is craziness because I hate big groups.
Like going to Naughty in New Orleans is so stressful for me ahead of time. Just like diving into that big sea of swingers is so intimidating to me. But when I'm thinking about, I know some of our very dearest friends, most of them we met there. Right. But they weren't dear friends to begin with. You know, it took a while to establish that. Maybe another couple that was like trying to avoid the craziness. I don't know. Yeah.
and i think we're doing something crazy that i speaking of not imagining but we're actually going on vacation later this year with lifestyle friends yeah we're going to a normal resort yeah with lifestyle friends just four of us yeah and and if you'd have told me that we were going to be doing this a long time ago it would have it might have freaked me out too but they're friends for their friends first the the lifestyle comes a really close second oh you're kind of full of crap well they're kind of hand in hand i mean well you're going on vacation i mean even you and i have more sex when we're on vacation right oh wow that's true So, no i mean you you but in order to find your tribe you have to get yourself out there and you have to meet people and just kind of talk to people and and just kind of explore what's going through people's minds because not only will help you determine on whether or not you're interested in them but it helps you learn about yourself yeah yeah so I think that's why we use the term discover, because discover is like seeking out and searching and finding things and then finding other things.
And always that mindset of discovery. You know, I think if you use the word find, if something's lost and you find it, then you're done. You don't have to look for it anymore so the word discover is it's a continuation you're always looking to discover you're always looking to explore and so we're to this point now where we've discovered this and we benefit from it and podcast aside um we have some tried and trued friends that that i imagine are going to, I hope, are going to be lifelong friends. Yeah. And some of them we've introduced to family and vanilla friends as well. Right. So. Yeah.
Finding your tribe is a good thing. Yep. Okay.
Well, speaking of our tribe, I think we might have a couple sexy snapshots about our some of our friends in our tribe i have a really sexy snapshot i have a really funny one you do okay well hopefully this conversation has helped to uh frame or put in perspective the lifestyle and the journey that you're on then and uh the fulfillment that comes that can't come from it besides sex yes the sex is good but these friends are amazing yes they are all right when we come back we'll have some uh maybe one sexy snapshot and maybe a funny one oh one sexy too oh okay good Okay, well, welcome back to Snapshots.
And I'm just going to go full on disclaimer right now. What? I got more than one snapshot, honey. Like, seriously? We just went to Nottingham, New Orleans. Wait a minute. Let me check the official timer and check with the producer. Hey, if we're talking about sex, I don't think anybody's going to hit stop. Okay. Okay. So you want to talk about more than just your snapshot?
Well, I mean, just like you said earlier like we were pretty strategic on lining up okay well then we then we can't leave anything out we can't leave anybody out okay we played four times at naughty new orleans yeah let's just go through the week the only downer is that we still never got a twofer in no mate well you know like seriously one day we're gonna have to get a podcast a palooza well we got we got nashville we got desire i'll see yeah like yeah we have a lot All right.
you know like seriously one day we're gonna have to get a podcast a palooza well we got we got nashville we got desire well see yeah like yeah we have a lot of opportunities yeah so maybe we'll be experts by podcast you're saying that that's a goal of ours yeah okay lifestyle goals all right so the first let's just talk about the fourth play times okay and then we'll get to our real snapshots so the first night was the only night that we stayed up late yeah and that was again And we're going to our real snapshots so the first night was the only night that we stayed up late and that was again with really good friends yep and what was cool about that i mean i always loved being with them and she kind of has me under her thumb but remember he had those blinking lights yes that they hung over top of their bed frame and then they they flashed with the beat of the music there was like a receiver on the end of it and when you had the speaker next to it i need to get the amazon link from him i know that was cool i know hey friend send me the amazon link yeah so the lights were amazing because they they not only did they change colors but they flashed to the beat of the music yes so that's definitely set the sexy vibe and and she makes really yummy drinks and she has an amazing body yes she does yeah so that night was that was the travel day that was the first day and we stayed up late that night, I think we got back to our hotel at 2.30, so that's not so late.
No, it wasn't, but it was a great time. In swinger time, that's really not that late. No. No, it was totally worth it. Right. Except we had been up, you know, me booking these freaking early flights. Like, who does that? So the second night. Oh, can I totally digress and go back to the airport on Wednesday morning? Okay. So we had like a 6.30 a.m. flight. So we're slumping through the airport at like 5.30 a.m. And Mr. Jones notices this lady walking towards us. And she had on this cute little romper. No bra.
No bra, flip flops.ops she's got cute little dangly earrings on and she's just kind of strutting down but she's like walking away from our gate so mr jones said i think she's going where we're going and i'm like honey she's going the wrong way and it was 5 30 and i was grumpy so whatever so we go up and we get a cup of coffee and we come back to our gate and there really weren't that many people at the gate at that point in time, and she was at our gate with her husband, and he was dressed, and he had tattoos, and he was a good-looking dude, and then I noticed he had a black ring on, and then we started watching her, and she had a black ring on, and she was like, they were leaning into each other and chatting and then we started like watching her and she had a black ring on right and like she was like they were like like leaning into each other and chatting and laughing and this was like 5 30 in the morning right and they were like happy and chatting like who does that right other than swingers on their way to a swinger convention right so and then she reached over and hugged him and she like grabbed his ass when she hugged him.
It wasn't just like around his waist. Like she had her hand on his butt cheek. Yeah. And we were like, totally. Yeah. But again, it was five 30 in the morning and I was too grumpy to go up and talk to him. So we did it and, um, we just kind of let it go.
And then we got, you know, to New Orleans and we went to our hotel and checked in and then we went over to the main hotel and uh we were in the lobby waiting for some friends to come and here comes this couple off the elevator and they took one look at us and they were like we knew you were gonna be here and we were like oh no we knew you were gonna be here and they were like we totally had you pegged i don't know how they had us pegged i know we were dressed kind of normal look normal because get cold on airplanes, so I wear like jeans and like a shirt because I don't like the air blowing on me.
But anyway, it was so funny. Yeah, we thought we had them nailed and we did, but then they nailed us too. I know. As soon as I got off the elevator, because I was going to say something as soon as I saw them and she pointed at me. It was hilarious. That was funny.
So the second day, we played with friends that we had played with before a couple times but hadn't seen in a long time there was a lot of pent-up energy there was and she again has an amazing body and the last time that we were together we weren't able to play and that was a big disappointment yeah and we had a lot of, as you said, a lot of pent-up energy. Yeah, extra pent-up energy. And she decided that she was going to be like the director of what happened. Yes. And she was going to plan everything out and make it last long and I said, hey, whatever you tell me to do, I'm going to do.
So you have at it. Yeah, you're very obedient around her. Yeah. But I think their big thing is staying connected. Yes. Because I think there was a time that there was a couple of times when all four of us were connected. As a matter of fact, I stopped one time and got my phone and I said, is it okay if I take a picture? I never do that.
Oh, I that oh I forgot you did I never do that but when I looked at what you all were doing and how connected they were as a couple and how they were touching you and being with you that was it was awesome but you know there were a couple of configurations that she put us into or we ended up in where all four of us were connected yeah and that's the thing that's the one thing that stands out with that couple is well first of all they're sexy they're a lot of fun but they like being connected yeah well i mean so okay that's like part one of my snapshot so there was a point in time where um she was laying on the bed on her back and i was at the foot of the bed going down on her and then her husband was behind me um fucking me doggy style and then you were up at the head of the bed and i think you were like kissing her breasts and kissing her and just kind of caressing her.
So all four of us were connected. And then the bed had a mirror. Oh, yeah, right. At the head of the bed. Like the headboard was a mirror. And since I was going down on her, I could actually look up and see the mirror. So I could see like almost like eight people having sex. Yeah. And it was just incredible.
we and we like this couple so much and we're so comfortable with them um it was just it was so easy and when i to me when i say having sex with other people is easy that's like the highest praise in my book because that means i get my freaking head out of the game yeah and i just have fun sex yes and and that's really hard for me to do right my my head doesn't turn off easily and it happened off four times yes yeah i obviously went to naughty new orleans in the right frame of mind yeah so that was the second day and again that was before dinner so it was great oh so that that was probably my very favorite part so here comes the second part of my snapshot so yeah so they came over at five and you know we had all showered after the sweaty bar takeovers in the afternoon so we they came to the door and I already had like a teddy on so I was was like, I was ready to go.
So we really started playing pretty quickly. And then after we were done, they brought dress up clothes with them because the restaurant we were going to was closer to our hotel. So the husband said, well, can I hop in the shower real quick? And we were like, oh yeah, I think we all need to hop in the shower because we were pretty sweaty.
So anyway, we all kind of took turns hopping in the shower well at one point um i think i had already rinsed off i can't remember the sequence of events but their casual clothes were just kind of laying around um because they were showering and going to put on their dress-up clothes so his t-shirt was just laying like on the floor so i picked it up for him to kind of like straighten up their stuff while they were showering and I was like so I put his t-shirt on because I was naked so he comes out of the shower and there was a hook on the back of the bathroom door and I had like a silky robe that I brought with me in case you know we needed to like wear it in the playrooms or whatever he came out of the bathroom with my silky robe that I brought with me in case, you know, we needed to like wear it in the playrooms or whatever.
He came out of the bathroom with my silky robe. And you had his t-shirt on. And I had his t-shirt on. Well, we might have a picture or two of that as well. We do have a picture or two of that. That is definitely a not suitable for work picture. It was ridiculous. But it was hilarious that he and I did the exact same thing.
And I think she and i were rolling our eyes at the same time you were both like oh geez can we just get dressed and go to dinner just get your clothes on i'm hungry it was so funny it was funny so that was my snapshot is him walking out in my silky robe like it was ridiculous because he's not a small guy yeah yeah he wore it well he owned it he did own it uh so that was playtime two uh playtime three was with a couple that we'd met a couple of times yes i think we met them originally at desire yes um i had i've had a crush on her since i first met her totally this has been a long time coming yeah i've been scheming and conniving and trying to figure out if they were attracted to us and how we could yeah first we couldn't tell right and then this was actually the fourth time we had been with them yeah so i didn't i mean and we we asked them if they wanted to go to dinner and we told them that you know we hope that we got to know them better uh but there really was no guarantee in my mind that we were going to play right we had arranged the dinner and everything ahead of time yeah and there had been some flirting yeah yeah well so we did uh and we really had a good time with them i We did.
I mean, it was. They're super fun. Yeah. It was like, even though we had never been together before, I had this like, it was in the back of my mind. It was something, I just, an itch that I needed to scratch with her. She's so cute. And she's so, I told her that she's just simply beautiful. You know there's not not a lot of makeup and not a lot of fancy clothes just she's plainly beautiful and I mean that as a compliment oh she's not playing no but I mean but she's just laid back naturally that thank you that's the word you wanted sorry. You're naturally beautiful if you're listening.
And maybe I said that wrong to her because I did make a point to say that. But yeah, so I was a little bit, you know, I was a little bit like high school boyish with her because I just had a, that's what it was like. It was like I had a crush. Yeah. And she wasn't disappointing at all. It was a lot of fun. No, we had fun with them.
And that was a, it was like i had a crush yeah and she did wasn't disappointing at all it was a lot of fun no we we had fun with them that was a it was just a whole it was a fun day because oh yeah we spent the afternoon with them too yeah yeah it started like at lunchtime we met him at a bar and found a table upstairs where it wasn't quite so crazy and crowded so we just kind of day drank all day with them and then we went back and uh and we hung out with other people too so that was kind of fun and then we went back and got cleaned up and and then and you know what did we do dinner first and then we came back and played right yeah yeah but it was early and then we and then we changed and went to the party it was early again yeah something i just realized i've seen her naked plenty of times because we have to desire We'll be right back.
early again yeah something i just realized i've seen her naked plenty of times because we meant we have to desire twice when she got naked in front of me it was so much more of a turn-down it's so different because at desire everybody's off limits i mean you don't think of it that way you see a beautiful woman and like wow she has a crazy body you know she's really beautiful but it's different when she's standing in front of you and she takes her clothes off and it and even though well because we're standing next to a bed that we're getting ready to get yeah right but i mean it was like seeing her that way for the first time because you know she was giving herself to me so it was really sexy yeah it was a lot of fun yes it was okay and then the last night when we thought that there was no way that we could have success four times in a row I think this playtime surprised me the most yeah even though we had been with this couple before and again we went this was early we went to dinner oh we And we'll see you next time.
me the most yeah even though we had been with this couple before and again we went and this was early we went to dinner oh we went to the nicest restaurant yeah and there was these silly bridal showers all over town bachelorette parties oh my gosh yes two bachelorette parties at the same restaurant yeah luckily one of the groups of girls went inside we sat outside in this beautiful courtyard that was shaded with trees oh my goodness i went in to go to the bathroom i'm just saying and i came back i don't know how 10 women 10 girls talk at the same time i don't understand that i i almost wasn't i almost couldn't i almost had like nervous bladder stand i'm standing in the bathroom which is right next to the and they're all 10 talking at the same time you can hear them while you were trying to go to the bathroom yes yeah and and they were all 10 and it was like they could hear and understand each other anyway so we went to dinner and we had played with this couple before and had a good time but we started to engage with them and then all of a sudden it it just got crazy yeah like like literally I don't know And we started to engage with them, and then all of a sudden, it just got crazy.
Yeah. Like. Like literally like ripping clothes off. That's not the right word. What's the right word? It was almost like. Frantic. Yes, that's the word. Yeah. It was frantic. Yeah. And she, okay. So I'm going to get a little descriptive on this one.
I know I've said this before, but damn, beautiful and she's on top of me and I'm I love that view of a woman and she was writing me and she got more uh not aggressive but just more into it as she was going on and she kept going on and you know when when you're on the bottom as a guy you can last a while because you're not the one doing the you know thrusting but finally and she started getting sweaty and finally she said you're gonna have to take over and i thought i said no never thought you'd ask so we flipped over and then i was probably just as you know excited and turned on as she was and i started working up a sweat and then she started talking to me and that did it and and then on your side of the bed there was a lot of noise and a lot of sweat and a lot of moaning and a lot of talking going on over there i know we were actually kind of talking too and you know what it was about when she was on top i was on top at that point too you you two guys were laying next to each other.
That's right, because I was looking at both of you at the same time. That mirror in that room, I want to stay at the Saint every time we go to New Orleans. That room was amazing. It was actually a really small room, but it was very efficient. That mirror was incredible because I think she is ridiculously gorgeous, too.
I'm looking in the mirror, and I'm seeing me and her and we're right next to each other and then i look down and i see you and you know you had like that stupid like eyes rolled back in your head like that's not a stupid grin yeah whatever it is that that is your that's your look like when you're like totally into sex and completely oblivious and you know that's when i can pull all the hair out of the back of your leg and you don't know of course yeah yeah so that's where you were and then i look at her husband that i'm on top of and he is just as attractive as she is like oh my goodness so and i'm like who am i and how did i get here yeah like it was just like one of those moments where, you know, so that's kind of like a secondary snapshot of mine is just that moment in time where she and I were just next to each other and like almost making eye contact in the mirror.
Like, this is craziness. Yes.
So when she started verbally encouraging me, uh you know you get to that point as a guy and i you know i'm in pretty good shape as far as my aerobic capacity and i was getting winded and but she kept talking and i'm and so i'm like i dug down deep i am not quitting i am going to keep the same pace the 0.2 of a 26.2 it was that's it was exactly what it was it was like i could see the finish line but i wasn't quite there and i was not giving up and uh i finished and when and then when we were finished and the four of us were laying there all of a sudden it took about two or three minutes or four minutes maybe longer and then somebody said what the heck just happened I don't know it was crazy yeah so yeah wow that was fun that was four for four yeah good for us it was uh so so then we got our um clothes back, like our dinner clothes back on.
And we went to the Sazerac bar, the Jefferson Hotel, which is like this swanky, like super cool bar. And here we had just had like this crazy sex with each other. And then, you know, we go like have like, you know, after play at this really cool bar. So that was really fun. Here's the last the last snapshot okay this is the best of all oh my god i think i know what this is we were at one of the bar takeovers this isn't sexy with about six of our friends two of our friends that happened to be there were jay and angie from the average swingersingers.
Actually, we knew most of the people upstairs that afternoon. There were tons of people up there. But Jay and Angie were there. So I got up to go to the bar to get you and I a beer and bought a bottled beer, two bottles of beer. And I turned around to come back and Jay comes up to me and he tries to grab my beer. I'm normally a pretty laid-back guy. And Jay, I know he's a character. And you can kid with me all you want to, but when you start to grab my beer, there's trouble. So I said, what are you doing? And he goes, give me your beer, give me your beer. So I gave him your beer.
I was wondering where you were with my beer and he had something in his hand it looked like a pill so he takes the beer and he dumps it over top of the the what looks like a mint or a lozenge or something i said what are you doing and i grabbed the beer back and he said i dropped this the floor and I need something to wash it off. And I said, don't waste beer. If it's dirty and you dropped it on the floor, put it in my mouth. I'll clean it off for you and I'll spit it back in your mouth. And he looked at me and he said, okay.
And he shoved it in my mouth and I swirled it around in my mouth and then i leaned over and kissed him and gave it back to him that's not the snapshot that's not the snapshot oh my god so i kissed jay i missed this can i just say i missed this i was talking to page angie was standing right there along with a couple other friends i kissed jay, transferred the lozenge back to his mouth. That's not the snapshot. He takes it and he stands back and he looks at me. And all of a sudden, he just bends over and puts his hands over his head. And he is speechless. He is speechless. Jay is speechless.
That just doesn't combine. And he finally lifts his head up and Angie is cracking. And Angie's going, where's my phone? I missed it. Where's my phone? And he stood up and he looked at me and he just started shaking his head. And Angie says, that's like one of the only times I've ever seen him speechless. And he says, I didn't think you were going to do that. I didn't think you were going to really do that. So anyway, talk about four days of amazing sex. Jay, you have my snapshot. I know. And he's a pretty good kisser. Now, I do have an amazing picture of the two of you afterwards.
And you both have like these like dumb shit looks on your faces. It's like total afterglow picture. I mean, Jay's kind of like leaning and he had his head on your shoulder. And you kind of have your head leaning down on his head. Oh, yeah. We have a connection. Yeah, we have a connection. Clearly, clearly. And I have a photo of Pruve It. Yeah. Oh, my God.
It's just too bad he wasn't in full working order for the week uh anyway talk about finding your tribe yeah and and we've known them for a while and they're fantastic people and again they are part of our tribe so anyway that's um episode 66 and i think i think we pretty much have to end after that. There's nothing left to say. You can't top that. Oh boy. So anyway, if you're still listening through all of that, we'd love to hear from you. You can contact us on our website. Our website is wegotathing.com, W-E-G-O-T-T-A-T-H-I-N-G. And there's a contact us section on the website.
Or you can email me at MrJones, M-R-J-O-N-E-S, at wegotathing.com. Or me at MrsJones at wegotathing.com. You can find us on Twitter at wegotathing. We're also on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest. Yes. Wegotathing. But you can also, speaking of community and finding your tribe, we have a really robust Cassidy community. And then we have our own membership community. Yes. And if you're not a member of Cassidy, you can get three free months along with Double Date Nation. Yes. By the way, Double Date Nation is the title sponsor for Podcast Palooza. So we're looking forward to that.
And speaking of Jay and Angie, they're going to be at Podcast Palooza too. Podcast Palooza is going to be amazing. As a matter of fact, on the Podcast Palooza app, Jay went out and said, hey, does anyone want to have an orgy the first day?
And I replied and I said, well, since I now i'm in hey you got nothing to lose at this point honey and then finally if you are again looking for a place to find your tribe desire is a great place to do that and you can book your desire trip through us we do have the ability to offer special discounts on some of the luxury rooms and we also have a link to book any kind of room through desire so you can check that out on our website as well yes so thanks for listening we are mr and mrs jones and we got a thing what's your thing We'll see you next time.
