Episode 64: Race in the Lifestyle

Transcript

This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us? Hello, everyone. I'm Mr. Jones.

And I'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 64 that we got a thing podcast race and the lifestyle yes this is another episode in our judgment series that we started last winter well we've been skipping around because judgment's a pretty heavy topic i know we didn't want to do three or four heavy topics in a row. Yeah. But this time we had the pleasure of finding and meeting, and we had dinner with a couple. The Bomber and the Bell. Bomber and the Bell. Yeah. From the Black and Kinky Lifestyle podcast. Yeah, they only live about an hour from us.

So we had dinner with them last winter and attempted to get our schedules to coordinate, and it took a few months, but it was worth the wait. We had so much fun recording with them, and you all are going to be able to hear our conversation with them here in a few minutes.

Yeah, so what we're hoping to do is talk about some topics that are a little bit taboo or that people may not be that comfortable talking about and hopefully the conversation that the four of us have will allow everyone listening to think about how you approach others of of different races and how we can continue this conversation because it was a good conversation and it was a lot of fun. They're a great couple. And, you know, we had had dinner with them before and, and we know other black couples in the lifestyle.

We know some biracial couples in the lifestyle and we've had a lot of open and honest conversations with people, but just sitting down with them, um, and, and talking and being able to ask any question and know that we're not going to be like, Ooh, did I just say the wrong thing? Or, Ooh, you know, did I just step on toes or make myself sound like an, you know, an ignorant idiot? Right. Um, there was none of that. It was awesome. Oh, and they're, and they're really sexy. There is that. Yes. But before we get to the topic, um, we just got back from Desire Pearl. Yes, we did.

It was my birthday week. And a shocker. It's a newsflash, a shocker that we actually had a really good time again. I know. The weather was perfect. We're double digits Desire people now. Yeah, I think that was our 10th visit. That was number 10.

And once again, it did not disappoint did not disappoint well the difference that we and we've the last what the last three or four times we've gone we've taken a group the last three times yes yeah so this time we snuck under the radar we didn't announce it too far ahead of time and we didn't take a group and it was just you and me yeah so we found ourselves standing in the pool on the first day and looking around and realizing, oh, shit. We don't know anybody. We don't know anybody. We're going to have to. Where's our game? We got to get our game back on. Remember how to socialize and flirt.

It was a little hard at first. I know. But we did run into a couple that we've met a few times before at different events. But when you've been there 10 times, though, even if you don't have a podcast, you start to run into the same people that you've seen at the resort in times past. So some couples that we ran into, we had actually met at the resort before, just coincidentally. Yeah.

Well, one couple that we ran into, they're an older couple and we met them on our very very first trip like our very virgin oh yeah we don't even know what the lifestyle is trip right that kind of started this whole journey for us so that's the awesome thing about the lifestyle is you do remember people and experiences you know when you see them and you haven't thought about them in like in five years and then all of a sudden they're in front of you again yeah so we met a lot of people we just wanted to give a general shout out to our new friends from texas and california and massachusetts and arkansas and even virginia and louisiana yes And we saw when we were leaving, we were actually leaving the restaurant after our last stop.

Our last goodbyes. Our last lunch. And we ran into a couple from Montreal or... Quebec. Quebec that we had met before. And they got to sing the happy birthday to you in French. I know. It it was so wonderful it was so good to see them again but it was absolute torture yeah that um we got to say hi goodbye yeah seeing them for three minutes was almost too painful to bear yeah well it would have been a shame if we would have left there and then found out that oh i know we missed them so at least i got to least I got a happy birthday kiss from both of them. It was great.

You've heard our desire stories before. There's nothing much more we can say about it. Same old, same old. It's like Groundhog Day every day. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. But one thing that we did... But you know one thing that happened this time?

I almost whooped your behind at cornhole twice yeah the key word there being almost i know but it's usually zero to 21 and i think the first time it was 19 to 21 and the second time it was 20 to 21 and then we had to go back and forth like three times for you to beat me right i was on my game look out world right mrs jones can throw some throw some cornhole when she's naked. The only time you get close to me is when you're naked. Well, hey, that's obviously my advantage. Well, you're going to have to start going naked at home when we play.

Well, that just means I'm never going to win cornhole in Virginia.

We'll just mention this briefly, but we've been trying to work with desire resorts in the past couple years to allow us to offer um discounts to those of us who listen to us and book the resort and it's been a little frustrating because we haven't been able to do that thus far but this trip mission accomplished yeah this trip um yeah we modified our membership a little bit and now we are going to be able to offer um a limited number of rooms in the new categories the categories of you know the mansions and the and the penthouses and the master suites yeah jacuzzi suites and what's the one the villas and the villas at rm which are amazing yeah so we're going to be we're going to have a handful of weeks available to actually sell at a rate lower than what desire sells them for it's a discount off of their current discounted rate so like if they have a sale running our discount goes on top of that sale yeah and we're going to be able to throw in some cool freebies some transportation in some cases maybe a massage dinner on the pier yeah so we're still working out now that we've got a contract in place to do this now we're trying to put the offers together and we'll have more details uh coming soon but just wanted to let you know we're building a new page on our website and we're going to try to make the information as uh you know clear as possible for y'all yes so we're super excited because we clearly love desire and we just hope everybody else gets the chance to experience it as well right so when we come back we are going to introduce to you the bomber and the bell, y'all just stay tuned.

It's going to be great. Welcome back to segment two of our podcast. Tonight, we're talking about race and the lifestyle, and we have some very special guests here, finally. Yes, it's taken us a while to work at our schedules, but we finally got Bomber and the Bell down here. They live close by, fortunately, and they have their own podcast, the Black and Kinky Lifestyle Podcast.

We'll get into that in a minute, but first first of all we want to thank you guys for making the effort on a friday night to fight dc traffic to come all the way down to see us thanks for having us we appreciate it thanks for your patience like i think the first time i was sick and then yeah i don't know there was just family stuff and i don't know no worries yeah always linking up schedules can always be a challenge And, hey, we're here now, so made it that's right so what we'd like you to do is um introduce yourselves personally as much as you're comfortable sharing and we'll just start with that um sure well again thanks for having us um but yeah um this is the bomber and the bell here and And, yeah, thanks for having us.

But yeah, this is The Bomber and The Bell here. And yeah, we've been in the lifestyle for about a year and a half now. And, you know, I think we started our podcast. It was interesting because we had been in the lifestyle for a few months and we had discovered your podcast shortly after we had had our first experience at a lifestyle club. And, you know, after we discovered your podcast, there were a few others that we listened to.

And I think that, you know, we had learned a lot from these podcasts, but we had felt that our experience as a black couple was somewhat absent from the podcast community. There were, for example, a lot of parties that we had gone to where there wasn't a lot of diversity. And we, you know, we were, I think it's just natural for people to want to be with those that are as similar to them as possible. And, you know, it's not sort of a racist thing. I don't think preferences can necessarily be racist in some regard but we I racist thing.

I don't think preferences can necessarily be racist in some regard. But we, I think, really wanted to find the voice that was similar to our own. And when we didn't find it in the podcast community, we just said, you know what, maybe we need to start our own podcast because we're having all these adventures, we're learning all these things, and there are certain lessons that we're picking up. And I think one of the reoccurring themes for our podcast was the idea of finding your tribe, finding those people that you feel most comfortable with, and just building that network.

And I think that we have, and uh have used our podcast as a platform for other couples that are similar to us um and other couples that are interested in couples that are similar to us good for you guys now what about how about you all like personally how long when did you meet how long have you been together and yeah so we have actually been together 10 years this year. This will be our 10th anniversary. Double digits. I know. I think you're over the hump. Yeah, right. I guess so. You're a seven-year itch, so we're good. Yeah. We've only been married four years, though.

But we've been together long enough that I know who he is, and we're good. We met in grad school um and that's a funny story but a little too personal to tell too specific but we came to this area about three years ago um yeah about three and a half years ago as well and um we're we're professional people um're professional people. Um, you know, we like to have fun. We were always a couple that was looking for an adventure, right? We always wanted to try something new and, um, you know, just everything was, yeah, let, let's at least see what it's like. Right.

Um, and so when the bomber came to me with a party invitation for lifestyle event he, he's like, well, you know, is this something you would go to? And I was like, maybe I will look at it. You know, we had had some experiences, some parallel play experiences. It was monogamish experiences, just sort of in the moment kind of stuff. Okay, so you had had some, you described them as monogamish experiences, but that was really before you even learned about this thing called the lifestyle. It was just happenstance. Right, exactly. Because you're adventurous people.

Right, and we always like going to the strip club together. And we love burlesque. Yeah, and we love burlesque. So we love like naked women, and we enjoyed seeing naked women together. And so I think this was kind of just an extension of that. And we actually always talked about like, oh, like when we're old and gray, we'll be swingers. Like we already know that. I'm just going to point out a pro tip for you ladies out there who are looking to hook your man. If any woman would have come to me and said, I like naked ladies, wouldn't that seal the deal? That would be it. Yeah, yeah.

We've discovered a few women have done that, and that's how they've gotten their man in the lifestyle. Yeah. Okay, so this was just a year and a half ago you said that you got into the lifestyle. Okay, so you've been together 10 years. You know each other pretty well. You're adventurous people.

You decided to get into the lifestyle and you've recently moved to this area you've lived in a couple other spots across the country so you've come to a new area yeah now you want to discover the lifestyle so a lot of people ask us this question so i'm going to ask you washington dc area you know how did you engage in the lifestyle and how did those first few experiences go? Well, our first experience was we met a couple, right? Online. Well, I mean, our first experience was at the club. It was at the club. Okay, that was before.

So let me just, and let me just say this because you always leave this part out. It was, it was you.

So I brought up the i just i didn't do anything with it i just put it out there and and then i think i got like a raise or a promotion or something and i was like oh this is great and you were like we should do something to celebrate i was like i don't i don't care what do you want to do like well you talked about that lifestyle club let's go there that's how it happened um so our first experience was actually in a lifestyle club and um we gosh i i just remember us being there and seeing all these people that were like you know wearing all these really hot outfits people had their breasts out and it was very sexy yes it was a sexy experience and like i'm a club girl i've been clubbing since i was like 14 um so like i i enjoy that environment not as much so more but i do enjoy that environment and so to see that people could be enjoying the music and the drinks and dancing and not just posing that's the thing people were really enjoying themselves yeah and having these other sexy experiences while they were there there were blowjobs happening on the dance floor yes they were yeah and that wasn't when we saw that the first time it wasn't like oh my god what's going on but it was like oh okay this is what this is about okay so anyway i got really turned on and i wanted to have sex so we ended up playing just to speed the story like a true guy so we were we decided to play like right on the main floor we didn't even go to the playrooms and people were watching um and i liked that that was the first time i did something like that um and you know women were coming by they were smacking your they were smacking your ass and you were really liking it so it doesn't sound like you were very overwhelmed by any of it no absolutely not no good for you guys yeah i think what what was overwhelming was one-on-one when we had like our first one-on-one experience with a couple because then you're kind of just stuck with them and you know oh you mean not at a club not at a club but just meeting another just meeting another couple out um and i think we went on a date um or actually we left no we had met a couple that night and we went back to their house yes that's right oh my gosh i forgot about that Thank you.

um and i think we went on a date um or actually we left no we had met a couple that night and we went back to their house yes that's right oh my gosh i forgot about that yeah we actually got picked up so we went from like zero to a hundred real quick um yeah so that our first night our first lifestyle night we got picked up by a couple and they're like oh come back to our house and we went back to our house but it was like really awkward because we were like we don't know what to do oh my gosh they didn't know what to do they didn't know what to do oh great i was like i was you know i was whispering to the bomber i was like should we just leave like what should we do but it ended up fine and we we it was it was some soft swap stuff parallel parallel play, I think.

Yes. You have these couple of experiences, and then, you know, you'd already talked a little bit about your podcast and why you decided to podcast. So I'm more curious about, you know, as a black couple, I mean, we live in a pretty diverse area, but you guys have lived in different parts of the country. So coming into the lifestyle, when did you first notice a difference between race behavior or how people were behaving towards you or you were towards others? Because this lifestyle is a whole different environment. It's not like a work professional environment. It's not like a neighborhood.

It's a little bit different. That's a great point. So when did you first notice or did you? i'm assuming that you did because you've talked about this yeah yeah i mean it's it's interesting so um uh you know let me just say that the lifestyle has in terms of uh putting us in positions where we're interacting with people that are different from us outside of work the lifestyle lifestyle is like the next thing where that's happening. Most of our experiences at this point have been in diverse settings because we've sort of found our group.

But I think in situations and parties where we've gone to where we are not, where we are like the literal minority, I don't know if it's necessarily a difference in behavior between the races, but I think it's just a natural sort of comfort level people have with their own race that we've seen.

And so so yeah so what you'll see is you know and part of it is because let's be honest there's cliques in the lifestyle so there's you know people kind of self-segregating right so you'll have see a group of people who will be you know all white you know talking in a corner and then you'll see all the black people sitting at one table uh you talking in a corner. And then you see all the Latino folks, you know, at another table in another corner. And so that, to me, was the most obvious.

Now, you know, depending on the event and all of that, you know, it may be an event that is specifically designed for, you know, interracial couples or, you know, those different kind of things. So you'll see more mixing there.

But when we first started, I was aware that, you know, thereial couples or you know those different kind of things so you'll see more mixing there but when we first started I was aware that you know there were I was surprised at how many people of color I saw that were actually at events and at clubs but it was still very clear that they were everyone was choosing to navigate to their own group and the occasional crossing of groups happened but it wasn't it wasn't norm normative so what about us do you remember honey what what did we notice about like race and the lifestyle when we first started attending meeting greets or you mean locally yeah or anywhere well i think that um you know as i'm i'm hearing about groups segregatingating, you know, us being where we are, I'm thinking about group segregating by age.

Oh, yeah, definitely. So there's just so many different ways to pair off and group up. You know, I, okay, so I was a public educator. I've learned to become colorblind. I was taught to become colorblind. So I'm probably not the best source of information because I don't pay attention to that. Right. I am interested in people and I'm more interested in people's attitudes and their, and their views on the world versus, you know, their skin color or their height or their age or, you know, those types of things. But I think, you know, we are somewhat diverse in our Washington, D.C. area.

But, you know, when we do travel around, you know, we do notice that it's not the same in different parts of the country i think we're actually really privileged here i do too because one we have a very strong lifestyle scene here like there's a lot of people who throw parties there's a lot of events there's a number of clubs and there's people from all over it's pretty diverse but what we've learned from traveling and going to lifestyle events in different places it is not like that everywhere no it's not you know it's it's hard to find the community and particularly if you're a person of color it's really hard to find other um couples of color individuals of color to play with yeah yeah i mean yeah we were just we were just talking about red flags and you know for me if i go into a lifestyle event and i don't see any people of color there um it it it automatically sends my sort of my spider senses start tingling a little bit because again you know when it comes to like racism and discrimination let me just be just be clear for everyone who's listening to this.

The lifestyle, compared to the vanilla world, the lifestyle has been very, very friendly. Yes. You know, when it comes to racism and discrimination, you know, you'll see a lot more of it in the vanilla life. Because, honestly, racism and discrimination isn't sexy. It all right um so uh but i will say that if you know we go into a party and we don't see any people of color there although that party may not necessarily be racist um if it was racist it would look like this yeah right yeah um it's almost well, how come there aren't any people of color here? Is it because we didn't get the memo?

Is it because something happened and news didn't get out? Did we just kind of sneak in here and people didn't realize we were folks of color? I'm a curious guy. So I have to ask you, when you talked about coming into a lifestyle event and being the only black couple and feeling a little strange, how is that different than going into a restaurant, going into a store, going into a workplace, going into a church, and being the only black couple there?

And the follow-up question is, do you think a lot of what you've experienced in public life is following you into the lifestyle, or is it different in lifestyle i would well i would say that it is a very similar experience if we're the only black couple in a restaurant i notice like we'll look around and see well are we the are we the only ones here do you see anybody else and and i think i think at least for me that that definitely follows me into the lifestyle because when i see that we're the only black couple there then then i have a a vigilance to protect myself and protect us yes um because i don't you know i there there's no other you know our people aren't here so if something happens like it's just down to me and the bomber right so like you know So, like, you know.

I think you're in good hands. Yeah. So, no, that was an excellent question. So, let me say this. So, no, I think I agree that we definitely notice it. I think in the lifestyle, it is very different, though, because, like, when we're talking about, like, going into an environment, right, like, you might be, you know, taking your clothes off, you might be expressing yourself sexually. And honestly, in the lifestyle, we're all exposing ourselves, right? We're all kind of, you know, taking our clothes off. We're all just sort of exposing who we really are.

And the thing is, if we expose ourselves as black people in an all-white environment and then get attacked, it can completely taint our experience in the lifestyle for years to come, right? Because we made the decision to expose ourselves and then we got hit for it.

At least, you know, in a workspace or in a restaurant, if we're vigilant, not taking our clothes off we're just getting something to eat if we don't you know if we're not feeling the environment we just leave that's a one-hour commitment yeah right yeah so that so then going back to what you were saying bell about cliques forming yeah do you find that you how difficult is it for you to approach a white couple compared to a black couple and do you do you ever find white couples approaching you directly so i would say obviously for us at least for me forward to hearing this. I'm sorry.

I'm glad you asked that question. Well, one, because I'm usually not the one that approaches people. But I leave all of that up to the bomber. But it is definitely easier for me to approach a black couple than it is a white couple okay specifically specifically because um it's just more comfortable or there is i i can think of something that we might have in common um you more easily that i can bring up and say hey oh you know girl where'd you get your nails done or your weave is you know popping or have you.

And these kinds of things, there's these cultural references that make it easier to start a conversation, I feel like. And in approaching a white couple, it's like, well, what do I say to them? You know, you know, where do I, where do I broach the conversation? How do you, you know, start that conversation?

In terms of white couples approaching us they do that does happen and sometimes when it does happen um it's in a way for me that makes me uncomfortable so you know men are really good at you know starting a conversation in the lifestyle by giving a compliment right and so even it's a couple that's not used to seeing other diverse couples um you know he may the guy may or even the the wife or the woman may comment on my skin color or my hair um and so for me or your boobs see my boobs are fine the boobs are fine. Because everybody has boobs. Like, all women have boobs. Oh, okay.

But when your focus is specifically on something that is specific to my race, that raises a red flag for me. Because now I'm looking, well, like, are you just, have you, like, never been with a black girl? And so you're looking for that kind of experience and you're enamored with, you know, the color of my skin or how my hair is different or something like that. So that's what that triggers in my mind. So, okay.

So you, I think you heard our episode on race and I can't remember, but there was one discussion we had with a white gentleman who um the art the listener that emailed us right no no no this was somebody who came with us on a cabin getaway oh yeah yeah and um and you you ended up playing with him yes but he he brought up at some point during our interaction that he's never been with a black woman before but the reason why it came up was because we were playing the stupid car game that's right that's why it came up and the thing is when she heard that um it was a turn-on for you a little bit oh oh yeah i.

I had to represent. Like, I can't be like. I love it. But it didn't come up because he made it a thing. Right. It came up because, like, there was this question that was asked about. So it's really subtle and complicated in some ways. But I think if, and it goes back to what you were saying, Mrs. Jones, when somebody approaches her as a person, right, not like she's a black woman, but she's just, she's a person. Like they want to get to know her. They're trying to charm her. Right. And that's what it's all about. That's what works.

Well, you know what I think of is, you know, i'm a short girl and i have straight hair so like tall girls girls with curly hair like your skin does not have one blemish or wrinkle on it you know so i look at you and i just see all these amazing things about you that i don't have you know and it's not yeah so i just i appreciate the diversity because it's like you just have so many gifts and qualities that I don't have and maybe you see the same thing in me but I think that's the beauty of it is you know you you like you get to make friends with and experience different things in the lifestyle absolutely and I think that the diversity just enriches that.

absolutely i mean you know bomber is a tall glass of dark chocolate oh no he he loves i like that and that's a really good description but he he loves right one thing that he really enjoys is seeing the contrast like when he's playing with you know a white woman or you know a paler complexion woman it's the contrast is a big turn-on for him yes i'm really fair so i'm absolutely not denying that that's a that's a thing and that's you know something to be appreciated because you know everybody comes in all different shapes and sizes and colors and configurations just don't leave with that well i mean my and and just to not we're a fair game in this conversation too because the the first time that well i can i can say that one of the difficulties that i had in um interacting or or or approaching a black couple is the same feeling i get with approaching a young couple because there is an age difference or because there's a skin tone difference my default setting is like well they're i'm probably not their type you know know, I'm probably not their type.

But the first black couple that we met and we played with, to your point, Belle, about being turned on when somebody said that, she told me that she had like a fantasy of playing with a white guy. And all of a sudden, man, I was like, what? Are you kidding me? This is like my like my lucky day hit the lottery but then when we end up playing it was the same attraction that you talked about bomber you just the contrast in the skin color was something i had never seen before right uh and it was it was mind-boggling and it was mesmerizing in a certain certain way.

But I think getting back to the key issues that we talked about was, culturally, what are we going to find to talk about to bridge that gap and make that first conversation? Because just like when you're flirting with anybody, it's always that first line, the first thing, what do I say to you? You know, I don't want to offend you. I don't want you to think I'm racist. I don't want you to think that I'm, you know, I'm this or that. So how do you. I don't want you to think that I'm after like a BBC because that is so. Yes, please. Thank you. Oh, my gosh. Like, could we just go on about that?

Well, let's just talk about that.'s just talk about that i mean it's so ridiculous so um so let me just say i don't like it no i know you don't like it but bbc's like some guys will hear that and it will be the best thing you've ever told them so some some guys will get super turned on if you say you know you you are this gorgeous gorgeous white woman uh mrs jones if you come to some black dudes that i know and you say i want bbc tonight um he's not going to be like well i don't know i have friends with al sharpton and we don't stand for that stuff no, some guys will be turned on.

And honestly, if you say that to me at the right moment, I might be turned on. It happened at a party. We're not going to talk about that. The bell gave me a disapproving look when I did that. But let me just say, like, you know, I think what's important to understand is that our perspective on this kind of thing is just it's unique to the bell and I and unique to some other some of our other peers. And there are some black couples that would have no problem with you bringing up race as the first thing. But there are some black couples who would.

And I think an important thing to understand is that for those who do have a problem with it um uh i think you know our role is to sort of uh offer a perspective that explains why that that problem might exist so um so what i'll say is as far as uh approaching a black couple um let listen charm and game is colorblind yes oh i like that okay you got charm you got game if you can look at a woman right in her eyes you know or mrs jones you're charming me you've been charming me the whole time i've been here you know you know what you're doing already i don't have to give All right, it's working.

But, yeah, charm and game and not being an asshole, as we've said in our – Just don't do it.

So do you think it – how much do you think physical attraction – like you mentioned different skin tones and different types of hair and obviously different skin color, but do you ever feel like – I mean, what's the difference in physical attraction that cultural difference because in our experience you know guess what human body is human body right yeah we all experience the same things the same pleasures we all have the same parts so um is there an attractiveness issue with other people in other races do you think oh great you're gonna let me answer excellent um you got the look um so again um so i said charm and game i think for i think it's more of a gender thing um so uh for the bell if you got game charm humor you can make her.

Okay, well, then let me interrupt you. Yeah. Because it's my understanding that Belle is really tall guys do it for her. Yes. Yes, I do have a tall guy thing. Oh, you've been listening to our podcast. Oh, well, now let's just go into that. You're still in play. You're right. Maybe guys with a good sense of humor. No, you might still be in play. You said, I think you said muscular guys. Would toned be okay? Yes, toned is approved. Mr. Jones runs. Yes. He's in shape. That lean body. He's got great legs. I just wanted to clarify.

no i think i i am definitely attracted to guys across the spectrum um like i'm not just you know only one kind of guy and there are some black couples who only play with other black couples or the wife only plays with black guys um but i'm open i'm always interested into learning you know seeing, seeing, trying something out, trying something new. Um, and I think if you're just, if you, if you're attractive, you're attractive, like regardless of what your color is. Um, you know, I think you're, you know, attractive person. Now if you ugly, you know, I can't help you with it.

that's right so i mean honestly there have been plenty of um there have been plenty of black couples that we've been attracted to and there have been plenty of black couples we haven't oh yes there have been plenty of black couples that we've been attracted to, and there have been plenty of black couples we haven't. Oh, yes. There have been plenty of white couples we've been attracted to. Same difference. I think, again, attraction is also something that, in many degrees, is colorblind.

I think comfort is a different issue um but attraction attract i mean sex is weird we always say that sex is a weird thing attraction is weird you don't know in one moment something that you never thought that you'd be attracted to or someone you wouldn't think you would be attracted to they say the right thing at the right moment yeah they got you when when um i mean i have to to say speaking for myself and actually i've talked to a couple of other my white bread Thank you.

yeah they got you when when um i mean i have to to say speaking for myself and actually i've talked to a couple of other my white bread friends before we talked about this podcast but honestly um it can be a little intimidating for me to to to reach out and and flirt with or or introduce myself to a black woman or to a black couple and And a lot of this gets deeper into just not lifestyle issues, but just race differences in general. And, you know, just a short story.

I was at a Target parking lot at night one time and I got out of my car and all of a sudden I heard two, and I assumed that they were black guys because of the vernacular and they had the hoods up and and initially my body just tensed up and it was really interesting because they saw me and they and they right away they just changed and they said oh excuse us sir you know we didn't we didn't see you there and and i and and that was nice of them to do that but what i realized was impression or my feeling, the feeling that I had when I first heard them speaking was so much different from when I walked away from them just because of how they changed the way that they were talking.

And so, but when I listen to your podcast, and you guys are, you know, you're an attractive couple, you have a great relationship, you're educated, your vernacular really turns me on. Especially you, Belle, when you get a little bit sassy. Yes, uh-huh. But getting back to being intimidated, when, in my opinion, I'd like to get your opinion on this, but black ladies are just confident. And sometimes I think that's intimidating. Yeah, I mean, do you notice that too? Yes, and I'm just so envious of that. You know, many times, black women, you know, they just own who they are. I am who I am.

This is me. Oh, I love it. You know, come and get it if you want it. You know, and I think sometimes white women can tend to be so caught up in our outward appearance. And are my nails perfect? You know, do I have a hair out of place? Oh, my gosh. Is my lip liner right? You know, come on. Just be yourself. You know, and I think that that is a, you know, for women in general.

I think that that is something that I am very envious of when i see black women together they're just so comfortable together and they're just so comfortable in their own bodies so is that a misperception so that that's actually really interesting i know i know you want to answer this one but i just before you do i need to remind you what um that there was one party we went to i know i was okay all right if that's what you were thinking about i'm gonna let you go ahead and take that that is that is so interesting to me because i completely understand the the black woman confidence thing because i think a lot of so let's start here i think a lot of that is because we have to protect ourselves um because they're in vanilla lifestyle it's so many people attacking us and trying to tear us down and trying to make us feel less than um and so that is a internal um protectiveness that has been brought down from you know our mothers and our grandmothers like a defense mechanism yes it's very much a defense mechanism um but i don't know that that is a um that is the outward projection but i don't know that that is necessarily internalized specifically for me and what bomber was um was referring to was we went to a cabin getaway where we were one of two black couples i think the other was uh us and another black couple and then an interracial couple where the wife was black and everybody else was white except for one Latino couple and Latinos can be white yes yes there are white Latinos we saw someone's profile that specifically said they were white hispanic so okay we're not talking to y'all um but that's a whole other episode that is it really is but in this experience what i saw was the white women were so confident and they were just going up to the guys and grabbing dicks and like you know going after these guys and i was like and my approach is that i'm a sex goddess so the dicks come to me oh my gosh I love you I think we can just stop the podcast podcast over and so but it was really it was um jarring to me that I wasn't being approached and so what I you know what may have been going on is the guys were intimidated and then I was like well not understanding why no one was approaching me um and you know we ended up playing with a white couple and the guy was like oh I was just I was waiting you know to play with you I have been you know watching you the whole time I was like shoot your shot like what do you you know what are you waiting for like i'm not you know i'm not you know gonna hurt you or anything like that you know um and really a lot of times you know and i don't know if you all have seen this but outside of the podcast i'm shy like i don't i'm not the aggressive forward you do not have you do not have the face that says approach me what do you mean oh I got like wrestling bitch face no no no no so are you gonna bail him out you're gonna pay me back for this later right okay so no no so when we had dinner with you guys six months ago yeah right we planned this yeah still cold so you were very quiet at the beginning of dinner and then as the evening progressed because we we really overstayed our welcome at that restaurant but you know as the evening progressed you you really opened up so you just i think you just naturally a very quiet person so yeah it just it takes me time um but yeah i don't my uh my first instinct is not to approach guys and when guys approach me i i do give you all the confidence all the sass everything i've seen it before you not impressing me but you know'm going to give you a try and you're going to find out what it is.

Yeah. So I think, you know, part of that is a protective layer, but I still, I mean, I still love my body. I love who I am. I love my brown skin and I love my locks and everything about me. So that's definitely there. It's not a farce, but it is more forward when I'm in lifestyle situations. And that's what makes you beautiful and attractive. So no matter, just bring it. Just like you said. Well, she's beautiful and attractive anyway. But then when all the inside stuff comes out. Right. It's just like. So I know this is pretty sexy talk, but I have to change the topic.

So what has surprised you about the black community within the lifestyle that maybe you didn't expect? Do you catch flack for playing with the other team or playing with white people? I mean, this is maybe an ignorant question, but I don't know if you experience. What is the black community like? No, I mean, in the lifestyle, one thing we've learned. So, there's a couple of things. So, one is that, and this is true for the vanilla community as well, that we are a very diverse people. You know, I think in terms of age, we're very different.

You know, and even across our peers, different values, different, you know, socioeconomic status, different educational levels. It's just, it's very, very diverse. So we, I think, were walking into this thinking that, oh, as long as we found our black tribe, everything would be okay. That wasn't, that did not turn out to be true at all because there were some crowds that just didn't vibe with us. We didn't share the same experience. We didn't share the same background. We didn't share the same values. So, that was something we had to learn.

And when we did find our tribe, I think what we discovered is that we like diversity. We weren't looking for the black tribe. I want to make sure people know that. We were looking for the diverse tribe. So our tribe, so to speak, includes black couples, Latino couples.

It includes white couples that are comfortable with diversity um that's been our ideal um so um as far as um folks being i'm gonna just admit this because now i have to since we asked the question the only time i got looked at sideways for playing with the other team was during one night uh where a white woman um that we didn't know she was just happened to be at a party but she said something about you know um and forgive me for being vulgar here but she said something to the effect of you want this white pussy yeah um and i was drunk at the time and she said it in front of everybody like the bell was there some of our colleagues some of our peers were there and they heard they were like what did she just say and stupid me i'm just like well yeah i want that white um and um and i think that was the that was that was the point at which i got the side eye from from our crew uh it wasn't the fact that she was white it was the fact that she kind of used her whiteness as a as a tool at the time um but no again um no i don't i don't think there's any flack for playing with the other team i mean we've played with played with, so to speak, the other team.

We've played with white couples. We've played with a bunch of other couples. And we've seen our friends play with white couples. I mean, it's all about the vibe. It's all about diversity. And it's all about just being sexy. If you're sexy and you've got game and you've got confidence, nobody cares what color you are.

When you came into the lifestyle, did you expect find um a lot of people in the community that were black or did you think you would be the only ones i definitely thought it was gonna be like a whole bunch of like old white people careful older like no but like oh oh like yeah 70s 80s right you're old you Like nursing home. Yeah, like nursing home. And there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong. Look, more power to you, don't yuck anybody's yum. Like, no, if that's what you're doing. And we saw some folks on the cruise.

They were in the wheelchair with the oxygen machine still getting it in. I'm not mad at them.

only we can only hope we're there that's right that's right so so let me ask about you guys talked about this on a recent podcast and i'm interested to hear you you talk about it now what do you think the difference is between a preference and and a racist um you know we're talking about judgment but when somebody on a profile says they prefer this or that um how do you perceive that what what is a preference and when do you think that there's you know maybe race at play there um all right so let me start by saying that um i don't folks can have their preferences based on race.

It is totally fine. Um, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Um, as far as your mind and where your sexuality is, you know, PC culture has no place there. Um, but I will say that when I, so when folks, and I think Mrs. Jones said this best in your first episode on judgment, but when folks talk about like that, when they use that never word, like I'll never play with so-and-so couple, I'll never, I mean, there's certain examples where that is actually applied.

Like if you don't use condoms, that's our our right right but if you're like i'll never play with a black couple i'll never play with like a couple that's over 60 you know um like how do you i mean how do you know you don't know every you know it's just it's just kind of crazy to me um but when i see it based on race so you can have your preference but when i see a preference when i see somebody write on their profile that they prefer not to play with black couples that might be a preference that you have but if you wrote that on your profile that tells me a few things about you because there are a bunch of preferences we'd have, right?

So some people wouldn't play with someone they know who has an STD. Some people wouldn't play with somebody that has some degree of mental illness, right? Some people wouldn't play with a couple if they were missing a limb or something. People don't really I'm not going to be able to do that.

has some degree of mental illness right some people wouldn't play with a couple if uh you know they were missing a limb or something um people don't really write that on their profiles though you don't really see that kind of thing but if you had to go out of your way to spell out that you would not play with this particular group right yeah that says something to me but besides just a preference i mean i think there's some people that say that well it's just like saying that you know you like tall guys or you like red-headed you know women um i'd say that i would challenge that a bit and say that you know historically um i think it's a mistake to ignore the role that race has played in our country and throughout the globe.

And so when you come out and say something like that, I think as a black person, when I see that, it brings up a lot of these things. Like, you know, having a preference against black people in general hasn't just been a preference.

It's led to a lot of really horrific things in this country and it's still there you know um so it means something and so when couples don't even or individuals don't even consider that when putting their profiles together it's just it right well as a white woman if i was looking at a profile and i saw that on somebody's profile that's a deal breaker for me yeah because it just shows me that they're closed-minded and i'm not interested in getting to know somebody like that i think the bell has a better word for the people like that they're assholes but i'm saying probably look if you're putting on we don't play with black couples we probably are not interested in playing with you anyway first of all exactly and second of all if you if it's really that serious like it's easy to screen people without putting that in your profile if a black couple reaches reaches out to you you don't have to respond to them like you're just not interested yeah same thing with guys that say they're straight yeah very very really saying right and then and then the wife says oh by the way my husband is straight.

Right.'re straight. Yeah, very, very straight. What are they really saying? And then the wife says, oh, by the way, my husband is straight. Right. So, yeah, if you have to say that a lot, then that's a little bit of a red flag for me, too. Yeah, so we talked about, you know, a little bit more about race.

Okay, so, again, me, middle-aged white guy, feet three blonde hair or brown hair blue eyes educated this country this this was made for me yes it was made by me supposedly yes supposedly and um but also during my career i've been taught how to be politically correct and what terms i'm supposed to use and what names I'm not supposed to say. And am I supposed to say black or am I supposed to say African-American?

Or if, you know, and same thing with, you know, looking at a woman, you know, and there's all these rules that we've put into place to a certain time where i feel like i would rather just not engage because i'm afraid that i'm not going to use the right term or i'm afraid i'm not going to be politically correct or i'm afraid i'm going to hurt somebody's feelings and so sometimes my reaction is i'm just going to stick with my own side yes very natural so i mean what do you all how do you do you all sense you all, I mean, talk about, I think this is a good time.

I'd love for you to talk about, you talked about this on your platform or your podcast. We don't understand what it's like to be black. We know the history, but we don't know what it's like to have been enslaved.

we don't know what it's like to have been enslaved we don't know what it's like to have been marginalized we don't know what that is like so if you could just take a moment because i love the way that you guys talk about this and you do so openly and you do so not defensively you know so just that's one of the reasons why we wanted to talk to you because we felt like, wow, this is a couple that we can, if I say the wrong thing, you're not going to get angry. You know, you're going to know, you know, okay, this is an education minute. So can you talk a minute about what that culture is like?

And so to help people like me understand what we may perceive it to be and what it really is from your perspective. I love this question, Mr. Jones. You love every question. I like this one in particular because some of the things you said about not, you know, having certain experiences of being marginalized and all that stuff. The truth is and we get ready for this oh there are some black couples that also have no idea this is true they don't have they don't know much about the history they don't know about much much about what's going on some some black folks haven't been marginalized.

Crazy, right? But I say that because I think what I used to tell folks that I used to teach, not saying that I used to teach because that would give me away.

I think I might have just said that about myself too myself so i i think what's important to understand is um accept your own cultural incompetence accept it um because you're not gonna know like we can sit here and explain for days our perspective but we're just one black couple yeah there are millions and billions of us that have had a completely different experience i'm sure that there are some who listen to our podcast that don't agree with our perspective um so what i'd say to you mr jones and to other um white, whether they're middle-aged or young or older, is you're right.

You may not necessarily be able to understand the black experience, but we all live on planet Earth. We all were raised somewhere. We all lived in maybe a city or rural area. We all may have traveled. Maybe we did not. Look, the same rules apply. What's your name? Where are you from? How long have you been in the lifestyle? How do you like it? What do you like? How long have you and your partner been together? Get to know people, right?

You're making my heart so happy right um that's that's really that's really it and you know when you get to know people um build that trust build that rapport um and at some point at some point if you've built that trust and you recognize that you're talking to a sister um then maybe you can broach the topic of race and ask those really awkward questions listen we've been talking for a while i gotta ask you this question um black or african-american right right go ahead no you know um i grew up in a more militant household than the bomber did um so so one i'll say it it takes time to build trust and as a white man approaching me i am not going to trust you off jump like i i'm i'm not um and i'm going to be wary and i'm going to be um curious of what your motives are um always and my feeling is that as a oppressed individual, it is not my responsibility to educate you.

Now, if we have built a rapport and a level of trust, and I feel like that I'm not being used, but the interest is genuine, then I will feel comfortable enough to answer those questions um and to give you some of that cultural awareness um but you know i i feel like um while we are all people um and we all share similar experiences um how we go through life is very different um and i i'm aware of that And i acknowledge that um and very clear about that um and so and and i am um um i don't feel bad about my experiences like i i appreciate everything that i've gone through you know every you know time i was marginalized or looked over or you know somebody called me the N-word or something like that because that built who I am.

Right. And so I don't want that to be erased. Right. But I will still be very protective about who I share that with. Right.

And so it's really about, like I said, you know, approaching me as an individual and then I can share with, you know, that with people you know one of the things when we when we ended up moving to the area um and we got our house we moved to an area that is predominantly black and for me that was very important um because i wanted to feel comfortable when i was at home um so that I went to the grocery store, when I went to the gas station, when I went, you know, to the little shops that I saw people who looked like me and I could relax, you know, again, all skin folk and kin folk.

So that doesn't mean that, you know, we get along with all the black people you know and that you know everybody that we see is black that we accept um but that is just a more comfortable place for me but you know it's it's really about i think building those relationships on a one-on-one level to um help bridge help bridge that gap of that cultural competence. So what, what, I want to ask a question and tell a brief illustration, but what is the lifestyle?

What about the lifestyle has either accelerated that understanding or helped you understand the differences between, um, cultures and the, and the story I want to tell is that um so when we were outed and back in episode 37 and we had our white neighbors that go to church with us yelling and screaming at us yeah and when i got we we got far enough beyond that to reflect back i'm like you know what i get it this is the first time in my life that we were that i was marginalized yeah and but in but if if that had never happened i'm living in this world that um i don't really understand i don't understand what it like.

Well, we didn't have an awareness. That's what it was. You know, you live your life, and you never put yourself in somebody else's shoes. Well, now all of a sudden we're marginalized, and now we got a taste of what it feels like to be excluded from what you're used to.

Exactly, and the point I'm making is through that experience, it helped me understand i know what it feels like to be excluded from what you're used to exactly and the point i'm making is through that experience it helped me understand i know what it feels like to be marginalized and so my empathy and my uh my mind opened a little bit more and i started seeing people for people instead of what i saw them to be in the past and don't get me wrong I was brought up in a very open minded, loving family in a very cultural and diverse area.

And I still had didn't understand or hadn't realized this before. So I guess my question to you is, being in the lifestyle, have you what have you learned about yourselves? And what have you learned about people that are not like you, that maybe you misunderstood or misinterpreted or hadn't experienced before? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, so, I mean, I'm just reflecting on some of our vanilla friends.

um and uh the truth is we we have you know shared with some of our vanilla friends that we are in the lifestyle um and the response wasn't overtly negative it was just like somewhat like i don't know it's hard to explain but they're they're i i expected more questions, and there weren't any questions, and I just didn't share anything more. And I feel like in our community, this is somewhat of a second life for us, and we don't feel comfortable sharing this aspect of ourselves. And I feel like, and I don't know, Belle, you'll say what your perspective is here.

But I feel like we've sort of hit a level in our marriage and our relationship that's really great. And I wish there were other couples that sort of, not joined us, but sort of reached this point. And they're not ready or there are aspects of their relationships that makes this not work for them.

So I don't necessarily feel marginalized um but i do feel that being marginalized is a risk in our vanilla relationships in our networks oh yeah yeah because i mean the i think the feeling that i got and my conceptual conceptualization before we got into the lifestyle of black people don't do this like this is not something that we do like you know um a man a black man allowing his you know wife or his woman to have sex with other men is completely taboo um or otherwise like she's not really you know his girl or you know he doesn't really care about her or you know those kind of things um and so it's i don't know it's an interesting space to be in because i think we always see you know relationships and we're like um you know if they were just in the lifestyle they wouldn't have all these problems yeah that happens all the time yeah um but no wait a minute mr jones answer your question again because the bomber begin off the topic i'm sorry did i did i and i feel like i wanted to say something else it was it was a question about simply put it was what have you learned about yourself okay there we go that's right um so what have i learned about yourself?

Okay, there we go. That's right. So what have I learned about myself? I have, I think I've learned a lot about myself. I think I've learned definitely on the basic level about sexual preferences that I had, that I didn't know that I had, or that I didn't know that I wanted to explore. That's, you know, a big piece there. I also, um, in terms of learning about people, just that how much I enjoy meeting people and, and talking to them once I feel comfortable, um, you know, really engaging with folks, um, because, you know, I'm in my vanilla life.

I'm not really interested in talking and meeting to people, meeting people. Um, people. So that was something that I think I learned about myself. I think I knew that we were a good team before we were in the lifestyle, but I think we've established another level of how good our relationship is and how good we are together in the lifestyle. I think when you're doing this, you're sleeping with other people, you're finding couples to play with and to meet, you really learn about yourselves as well.

Not just like your sexual interests, but just like who you are as people you know your character your values um you really tap into that and then you know it's all to the communication piece because you have to talk to each other um and the kinds of conversations you have to have become very different and they become very candid and very genuine um and you have to deal with all these different feelings that you know you didn't have before and really surfacing what those are about what those are about and where they're coming from um so i think it's really helped us you know to learn each other better as well yeah no i i would agree with that i think there are certain no i mean you've said that right i I mean, I think as a black man, there are certain things I've learned about myself and the lifestyle that I don't think I would have ever learned otherwise.

Just things that turn me on, just the ways that I can be turned on by you have just been really enlightening. Like, our intimacy is very intense now. Excellent. And that's been awesome. And some of the things I thought I'd be turned on, some of the things that I thought would turn me on hasn't turned me on as much like sometimes if we're at a party and there's like this hot woman like all over me and her partner is not all over you yeah it throws me off it's just it totally destroys me and i'm just it doesn't matter how hot she is it doesn work.

And there were times where I was like, wait, why isn't this working? So, no, sex is weird. And this has been an enlightening experience for both of us. So, I think I have one more question before we close. And that is one of the reasons that we decided to tackle this judgment series. And I know, Mrs. Jones, you're going to have to help me here. We talked about age, and now we're talking about race. What did we talk about initially? Well, I mean, initially we just talked about all the social aspects of judgment. Yeah.

So, you know, one of the reasons why we wanted to have you join us in this podcast is to bring this issue to conversation and just have a conversation about this. So how do you think that we can improve just generally the idea of racism and difference in races within the lifestyle community? Oh gosh, I don't know. I honestly don't know. I think that's a question I've been wrestling with. It's like solving racism in America. It should be really easy. It should be. be. I mean, just like you said, you get to know people. Yeah. Right. You know, make me laugh. You know, just be nice to me.

Be interested in me. Yes. And it doesn't matter what color your skin is or how tall you are or how old you are. All of a sudden, there's a human connection there. Ding. I mean, it's that easy, but it's so complicated.

Yeah and we had it's funny that you said about earlier you use the term shoot your shot yeah because when we we had our friends evan and taz on we talked about age he used that term he said he said it doesn't matter about the age difference shoot your shot yeah yeah but that's what it comes down to it's it's setting aside all of your preconceived ideas and understanding that you are a woman. Yes. You're another man. You have a heart beating. You know, you have the same body parts. You know, you can be beautiful. You can be articulate. You can have a great personality. You can have a family.

You can have a job.

You can have all of these things that we have in common and i think we allow the difference in age or the difference in your sexuality or the difference in your skin color to cloud our minds to the point that we can't just have those human conversations yeah yeah it's it's just about being a genuine person and and sharing your your genuineness with someone else um you know without the pretext without you know all the other fluff that that you feel may you may feel that you have to put on um because we're just we're people um you know we're just people and i just want to be approached as a person you know as a beautiful woman um and all the other stuff can come later and you know we can talk about that and work that out um but in in that initial engagement it's just you know oh you're you're so beautiful or you know I love your eyes or, you know, please don't say that you're articulate and that you sound like President Obama.

I don't like that. That kills me. I do have a little Michelle Baraka fantasy. I'm sorry. Who doesn't? Right. I know, right?

And again, this is our is our unique perspective you know the other couples may be different they may feel differently about some of these things and and how they're approached and how they engage with other couples um you know so we definitely don't speak for everybody but you know our i know for us you know specifically specifically if a couple a white couple is trying to approach us we just want to be approached by Pete like as people do you mean I mean what you mean melanin deficient counterparts I so I want to say as far as like like racism and racism on a um on somewhat of a higher level here um you know i think there's like multiple levels of racism right there's sort of like the individual sort of level racism where you say something that's just you know there's some people that just don't like other races and they'll say something or do something that's really racist and that sort of thing is hateful um i don't think that happens in the lifestyle a lot um but i think on a group level on societal level, there are just some things that aren't necessarily, uh, seen as racist, but again, um, can sort of, again, put, you know, when the bell and I talk about situations where we're in a party and there's just no black couples there.

What does that mean? What's going on there? As far as what the lifestyle can do, I mean, I think, you know, when folks are throwing their parties, when folks are, you know, doing their things, I mean, is there a reason why there is no diversity at this thing you're throwing? is there any way to get it a little bit more colorful just to keep it simple? If that's not a consideration, why isn't that a consideration?

I think that's something that folks who are creating these networks, creating these opportunities where people can come together and be sexy and be together and have these sexy interactions. I think that's something that folks should be considering. Because when people get together on a one-on-one level, I mean, people want to be sexy, people want to have sex, people want to kiss, people want to touch. I think in many ways they'll figure it out. But I think diversity is key.

I think that should be an aim for those who are promoters, for those who are club owners, for those who are throwing their house parties. I think that's way to go. It enriches the experience. Yes, absolutely. Well, it makes the lifestyle more special and meaningful and complete. And I believe that's what makes our country great is the diversity that no other country has. I wanted to close by, you know, plugging your podcast again. I mean, you guys, when I listened to your first episode, you talked about five reasons that you're doing a podcast. And I want to read reason number five.

And reason number five was promoting healthy and loving relationships and marriages is important to building healthy black families and communities. And, you know, when I heard that, you know, I'm like, okay, we need to meet these people because they're in it for the right reasons. They're passionate about it. They're really trying to make a difference. And this is not just another lifestyle podcast.

You know, they've figured this out as a couple and, you know, they're're doing their part um you know to help that part of the community and that part of the society so i really just wanted to thank you guys for that and wish you the best and um for those of you who didn't catch at the beginning it's the black and kinky lifestyle with bomber and the. And you can go to our website and find their podcast. Or do you want to give a plug out to your website and your podcast? Yeah, sure. Email us at theblackandkinkylifestylepodcast at gmail.com. We're also on Twitter.

I think our handle is blackandkinky. It is. We're on Instagram, blackandkinky. You can also find us on the more getaways website, black and kinky. And I think we have a group. Do we have a group? Yeah, we have a group on that website. So if you want to come and talk to us and chit chat and our group discussions, you can do that too.

Contact us at, I think our email is actually just black and kinky lifestyle at gmail.com i think that's what i said no you said podcast oh you're right you don't even know black and kinky lifestyle sorry about that yeah this is jones over here getting him drunk yes please but i try to update our instagram i'm not good about it i had but you're good on twitter what oh what's your question oh see this is not even my show you ask the questions go right ahead sorry um have you ever had um have you ever had a bad experience approaching a couple of color? No.

I don't think we've had a bad experience. We've had experiences with people of color and also people of different backgrounds and races. Yeah.

yeah we um you know we i i guess we just our mindset when we approach people is to approach people and and just find whatever commonality we can find right because we're going to have something in common with you if we just start a conversation yeah and and that's kind of the way We have been, mean raised by our parents and and by our professions and and I think that you know we find all people attractive um because I'm I'm all about personality and you know their outlook on life and to me that's what makes people sexy oh I mean if we're gonna get preachy you know what those of us in the lifestyle no matter how old you are or what your sexuality is or what your skin color is we're in this because we don't want to be judged our community should be held to a higher standard absolutely we should not be judging other people in our community and if our community and this lifestyle is going to teach the world a thing or two we got to figure this out ourselves yes so i hope that the conversation that we've had tonight um you know at least starts this conversation with others and and gets people thinking about maybe differently about the way they've thought about race and the lifestyle before.

Yeah. Yes. Thank you so much. Be open-minded because otherwise you're just closing so many doors before they have the opportunity to open. Absolutely. You know, and that's your loss. Definitely. All right. All right. Thank you. Well, thank you guys again. Thank you so much. We'll be right back with some sexy snapshots. We'll come back with some snapshots, yeah. I'm going to have to get up from this vantage point. Bell's boobs. Yeah. Sorry. You really don't have cleavage when we record. Sorry. All right. Thank you, guys. And we'll be right back. All right.

welcome back to our snapshot segment so i guess you guys probably couldn't have guessed but i think both of our snapshots have to do with our trip to mexico well i didn't know that because i don't even know what yours is oh well okay so you know me being my narcissistic self so my my snapshot is my birthday oh the morning of my birthday um we had been out late the night before i don't think we played with anybody the night before i I think we were just like hot tubbing it and socializing and stuff. And I think we just kind of came back to our room and went to bed.

So we woke up on the morning of my birthday and you were nice enough to give me birthday sex. Yeah, it was a sacrifice I had to make. But we were in a lovely rooftop suite. So we had the curtains open and we could see our beautiful terrace and we could see the caribbean and the palm trees and the whole spiel so we're laying in bed having sex and i'm just i'm looking out at the water and i'm just and that's my happy place like oh my goodness so was awesome.

And another thing about not taking a group, and I'm not complaining about taking a group because I cannot wait till November and we get to walk in and see all these people we know. We don't have to try so hard, but we were on no schedule at all. So we could lay in bed as long as we wanted. We didn't have to get to anywhere or meet with anybody. And so after you and I had sex, I just kind of leaned over and I got my vibrator. Then I got another vibrator and my lube and I just laid there and played. I did one vibrator.

I'd have an orgasm and I switched to another vibrator, kind of vibrator, and have an orgasm. I think finally after I laid there, I don't know how long it was, but after orgasm number four, I think you said something about, can we go get coffee now? No, no, I said, you said, okay, so I think I'm done. And I said, well, happy birthday to you. Can we go get coffee? Yeah. So I had sex with you, and then you gave yourself several orgasms as a birthday present. Well, and you had pleased me, too. It wasn't like I was like, oh, man, I've got to take care of myself now.

No, I just was like, let's just keep this going. Hey, knock yourself out. Yeah. I didn't have anything else to do. More than that's right.'s right why not it was awesome just that luxury of just laying there and yeah yeah i think i might have gone cough to get coffee while you were but maybe between orgasm three and four no you didn't you waited on me and i started answering some emails no you didn't you might have kind of nodded off at one point, but I think you woke back up. Yeah, I did. It got kind of quiet. But then when you started ramping up, it woke me up again.

Yeah, that was a nice night. And yeah, well, we'll talk more about that in just a second because it'll give part of my snapshot away.

But so this time we did something a little different at desire we have never been on the boobs cruise before no we haven't and i've always poo-pooed the idea well first of all when we go with the group we don't really want to take that much time away right because it's a three or four hour commitment in the afternoon so we thought well what the heck we're by ourselves let's go ahead and go for it right so the the catamaran came and picked us up and i'm the reason i and the other reason i didn't want to go on it is because these are all the same you know they take you out you sail around they serve you rum punch people get naked and start yelling and screaming and falling off the boat yeah you snorkel before you get drunk but we've've done that before, except for the naked part.

Right. So anyway, they come and they pick us up. And I think there were three couples from Pearl. There were three couples from our resort. And we had become friends with one of the couples. So that was super fun. Yeah, so there were three of us. So six of us from Pearl. Yeah. And our friend's birthday was the next day. So it was like the birthday extravaganza. Do you want to tell the story? Oh, this is your snapshot. I'm sorry. So anyway, they pick us up. We sail up to Riviera Maya and pick up four other couples. Yeah.

So they get on and what we don't realize at the time, but we soon learn, is that they're from Brazil and none of them speak English. Right. They were all really sexy, though.

sexy though yes they were so they came up front and like their group was sitting on one side the the port side of the catamaran and then the six of us from pearl were on the starboard side and then they had the netting that goes across the front and so we were just laying out there not really talking to them much and then you know we started drinking a little bit more we got out under sail and then one of our couples uh started trying to talk to them and we realized that they didn't speak english and fortunately the crew on the ship was able to do some translating right and and somebody knew enough um well our friend spoke sp, so that was somewhat...

Yeah, it was close enough to Portuguese that they were able to, with gestures, figure it out. Yeah, yeah. So we got to know them a little bit. And then we get out, and they go snorkeling. You and I stayed on the ship, or the ship, the catamaran, while everyone else went snorkeling.

And we drank some more and just laid around but anyway when when people got back on and we started to come back and people began drinking a little bit more and then all of a sudden the um and you started drinking more yes and then the ladies the clothes had already come off and then then next thing I know, one of our friends from Pearl started making out with one of the sexy ladies from Brazil. And then it turned into more from that to they started going down on each other.

And all of a sudden, the conversation on the front of the catamaran stopped and everybody started paying attention to what was going on with these two ladies so you know one went down on her and then they switched and the other one reciprocated and went down on her next thing i know you're getting pulled into the middle of it because it's your birthday. Yep. And then you joined the mix and you started kissing one woman while the other woman was going down on the other woman. And then one of the other ladies came over and started getting into the mix.

And then it was like three or four sexy ladies just kind of rolling around and netting on the catamaran. Yep. And the guys were just kind of just sitting there with dumb grins on our faces, watching the whole thing. And then one of the other couples from Brazil actually started having sex with each other as they were watching the three or four of you have this girl time on the front of the ship. The crew was a little mesmerized by what was going on. But they do this a lot, so I don't think it was that surprising. Yeah, it was just another day for them. So anyway, a couple of things.

First of all, I'm glad I went on the boobs cruise because the last 30 minutes of the boobs cruise made up for the first three hours that there wasn't much going on.

It it was all wonderful the second thing is that you you were drinking yeah and when we got back later that day you couldn't remember a lot of what would happen nope that's why this is my snapshot not your snapshot because you don't remember most of it i i do remember flashes of it though when you tell me then i'm like oh yeah okay i remember that but my snapshot really is i'm looking at sexy ladies enjoying each other and understanding that there was a communication barrier yeah and at that point in time there was no communication barrier you know once the once the talking stopped and the touching and the kissing and everything else started it was like everybody was speaking the same language yeah good body language yeah sex is a great translator so i i have to give the boobs cruise four stars yes especially if you get four sexy couples from brazil yeah you know to join you so that and and so anyway back to your birthday so they sang you happy birthday in portuguese yeah then our friends that we mentioned earlier uh sang happy birthday to you in french i know and of course we sang happy birthday to you in english so you had three different languages it was amazing how are you going to top that next year i don't worry about that next year no it was just it was just a lovely day oh it was a beautiful day and we were under sale friends yeah and we got out beyond the seaweed where you could actually see the green and the blue water yep so it was it was an enjoyable day and we met some some great friends that day so So that's my snapshot.

So let's close out. What are we in? Episode 66. some some great friends that day so yes that's my snapshot so let's close out what are we in episode 66 65 64 64 whoa mr jones doesn't know an episode number yeah holy smokes this is a first yeah we have a we got a thing membership yeah that continues to grow and we'd encourage you to go to our website and learn more about that.

Join us on Cassidy for those of you who are on cassidy we have a cassidy community too yep so feel free to join us there and you can also find us on double date nation and you can join double date nation from our website and make sure you use wgtpc to get that for three months for free that's right you can still book your desire trip through us we still have our affiliate link on our website and that is you know business as usual until we get our our new stuff up and running and um we're going to see a lot of these sexy people in new orleans next month that's right yeah we will do one more podcast yeah we'll we'll have one more episode before we hit Naughty.

Before Naughty in New Orleans. But yeah, it's ramping up. It is. We're already making some sexy dinner dates. Yes, and if you're going to be there, be sure to go to our website and sign up for our meet and greet. Yes. And we're in the final stages of nailing down a contract with that facility. Yeah, we don't have to nail down yet, but it'll happen. Facility, yeah. So do that, and we look forward to meeting some of you there. In the meantime, please feel free to contact us on our website at wegotathing.com, or you can email me directly, mrjones at wegotathing.com.

Or me directly at mrsjones at wegotathing.com you can follow us on twitter at we got a thing or on facebook we got a thing and we're also on instagram and pinterest as we got a thing i think my cocktail recipes are on pinterest they are yes so thanks for listening we are mr and mrs jones and we got a thing what's your thing. We'll see you next time.