Episode 60: What's Age Got to Do with It?

Transcript

This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us?

well hello everyone i'm mr jones and i'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 60 of the we got a thing podcast what are we talking about tonight mrs jones what's age got to do with it okay well you know we're we're uh kind of continuing the series on Judgment and the Lifestyle. So tonight we're going to focus on age, which can be a little painful for us, but it's our reality. Well, since we've got the top end of the spectrum covered, we have something special for you tonight.

When we get to segment two, we're going to introduce to you a couple of friends that we've invited in to speak on this topic with us. Yeah, from the opposite end of the spectrum yeah right in the meantime it's almost springtime i know but i think there was a high of 33 degrees fahrenheit today it was still cold but you know the days are getting longer and we get to change the clocks this weekend i know i love it when it's nighttime. Yeah, and I'm switching away from the dark bourbons and whiskeys and going to the lighter drinks.

We're getting ready to record, and of course we have to have a cocktail because that's just tradition. That's just the way we roll. And Mr. Jones stood there looking at the liquor cabinet, and I'm like, honey, do you want me to make you a drink? And he just, you couldn't even think of anything you wanted to drink. You know, in the wintertime, I drink dark beer and bourbon and scotch. And I'm just ready for a season change. I want IPAs and white wine. Yeah, I know. Well, we're going to our brewery on Saturday. Yeah.

So we'll get to maybe, hopefully mix it up a little bit and get away from the porters. We're going to a brewery to do some training. Yeah, we're getting ready to go away with some friends and run a race next weekend. Yeah, we've done this race three or four years in a row now. And there's two types of training you have to do for this weekend. Yeah.

You have to, it's a half marathon and and an 8k so you have to do some running to get ready for the race but then each so we're running two different races one saturday one sunday and each comes with four beer tickets so yeah we have to do some serious beer drinking training too so we don't get down there and find ourselves overwhelmed by four beers after the race at nine o'clock in the morning. Yeah, at nine o'clock in the morning. So these beers are consumed before lunch. Yeah. Yeah. That didn't end well for me last year. No. I'm going to do better this year. Yeah.

And we've been, you know, as spring comes and we're looking at our calendar for the coming year and we're trying to urge, like the lawn guy came the other day and got the lawnmower tuned up and you know just trying to push march forward so we can get some warmer weather i know there was a guy out with like a green uniform on spray and stuff on the lawn i'm like what the heck because it was still gonna snow again yeah but yeah it'll get warm eventually yeah so speaking of our calendar we've got a few events coming up that we want to mention we do first of all you and i are going on a vanilla cruise oh yes yeah at the end of this month i know i've got a serious countdown going it's only about three weeks away for us yeah we might sneak over and visit our friends tiff and rachel from the sapphic swingers podcast that's the plan that's an excellent way to start a vanilla cruise there we might encroach on their property and go out on a happy hour on their boat or something oh my gosh i'm so excited about seeing them again and about actually being on water that is nice and warm in the sunshine i can't even imagine yeah yeah so that's going to be awesome but then when we come home from that we're going to have to get ready to head down to atlanta yeah we have a meet and greet our april the 26th but we're sold out i know we put a cap on this one and sold out right at about 80 people yep so i think um i think it's going to be an amazing weekend.

We have a really cool venue picked out for it. We have some really good activities planned and some outings planned. I think it's going to be a great group of people. Yep. People are getting excited about it already in the chat group. Yep.

Speaking of sold out, we have to say we told you so last podcast our our week at desire in november is sold out officially now i think there is isn't there like a penthouse left if you go on the website yeah if you can afford a passion suite yeah you can get a passion suite yeah i guess but oh man so yeah that's exciting and um we're looking forward to that that's going to be here before we know it yeah so if what's not sold out though is we just added a meet and greet in october in nashville tennessee in music city usa so you'll go to our website if you're interested in that and go to the event section and express your interest and we'll send you more details on that um since that's still like six months away, it is still in the planning stages.

We don't have any details yet. So, but it is going to be in October in Nashville. Well, we have some details. We just can't share them yet. Right. Yeah. We don't have a contract signed with a hotel or anything like that yet. So yeah. So stay tuned. It's going to be fun. It's in the works. Yeah. There are some things that are going to happen in Nashville that we haven't done yet. I know. Well, and I've never been to Nashville. I am super excited. Yeah. I think you and I might have to sneak out there a day early and maybe stay a day late or something. Yeah. Just enjoy the city.

And also, before then, though, not in New Orleans. Most of you know about that. So, we're going to host a meet and greet and a workshop there. So again, if you want to come to our meet and greet, go to our website and express your interest there. And we'll send you the details as that event approaches. And what else? A special thank you. You know, we haven't asked for, we stopped asking for iTunes reviews a year or two ago. Well, I think it was when we were at 69. I think when we got to like 68, we asked for the 69th. Not an episode, 69 reviews. Right, right.

And then I think when we got to 100, we were begging for some. So we just hit 300 iTunes reviews, and we just wanted to stop and say thank you to everybody who's taken the time over the past almost five years and left us a review. And if you haven't done that, it's really a great way to go. And while you're in there, leave reviews for all of your favorite podcasts. But anyway, just to thank you for helping us reach that milestone. Well, I think that's just one more way that the podcasts become more visible when people search for them and stuff, depending on how many reviews they have.

So thank you for that. Yep. Some of you may know this already, but we just made a big change to our newsletter. Yes. We have asked for help. Yeah. Yeah, with somebody that knows what they're doing. doing so yeah so we we have a revised newsletter and it actually comes in two versions now yeah we're gonna do one version for our community members and then one for just anybody else who has subscribed to our newsletter yeah so if you're in our community our members only community that newsletter is a lot personal.

We have a couple of interviews in there with people that are in the community and just more focused on the group that we have in there. And then the other version is for everyone else. And it's basically the same content. It's just not as personalized. Right. So hopefully, if you've gotten those, we'd really love to get your feedback. If not, all you have to do is visit our website, wegotathing.com, and sign up to subscribe. And if you can't find out how to do that, send me an email. We'll subscribe you. That's right.

Yeah, somebody did email me and say, can you have my wife to the newsletter list? They didn't know how to do it. And we're like, easy peasy. And the other change you need to know about is it's now monthly instead of twice monthly. Yes. So we decided to go for quality over quantity. And we're going to really focus on one a month and try to make that the best that we can. Yeah, we feel pretty good about the first, first edition and looking forward to many more. Yeah, one of our community members just sent me a recipe that I think is going to be in the next newsletter.

It's like a springtime recipe. Okay. Yeah, so I'm ready for a springtime drink. Anything besides business in this, keeping up with the Joneses? Well, we did have some friends come into town midweek. It's a good thing you and I are like self-employed now, and we have flexible schedules. It was nice.

It was a a tuesday yeah and we got to take off on a tuesday and have friends over i know it was crazy but you know the the crazy thing about it is that they came down uh like we met them at like noon on tuesday and we realized that wineries aren't open on tuesday nothing Yeah, nothing's open on Tuesdays. So we kind of had to go to Plan B, but we managed to keep each other entertained. Well, part of the reason it was a Tuesday is because they're from out of the country, and they came to the States, and they're doing a little bit of a tour for a few weeks. Yes.

And it just so happened that Washington, D.C. was going to fall on a Tuesday. Midweek. Yeah. So we volunteered to take the day off and spend with them. And it was a day off well spent. Oh, it was very well spent. And we had met these guys once before, but didn't really get to know them as well as we got to know them when they visited. Yep. And it was amazing.

You know it's funny you'll meet people and you're like wow they're really great people and then you're like but if we get together with them again it's like that like honeymoon gonna be over and you're gonna be like oh man what are we gonna talk about or is this sex just gonna be kind of like blase but nope it was fun it was quite the opposite they were easy to be with. Yeah. They're super easy to talk to. They're, they were easy to host. Um, just very laid back people and until you get them in the bedroom. Yeah. There's nothing laid back about that. No. I think I might talk about that later.

Oh, good deal. Yeah. And we also got to spend some time with other friends, although this was not as planned. You know, our friends from out of the country we planned months ago. Yeah. I mean, that was like last November we planned that. Yeah. And this past weekend, some of our best lifestyle friends were coming into town to visit us. But they had a family emergency at the last minute and couldn't make it. Yep. And while I was wallowing in my sorrows, you reminded me. I saved the day. That there was another invitation that we had turned down. That's right. That we could now accept.

That's right. Some of our community members that don't live near us were going to be in D.C. The very same weekend, our good friends were coming, flying into town from out west. So we were like, oh, my gosh, you know, what are the odds of having two amazing things come up in one weekend? So we had to turn our community members down. But when our friends couldn't come, we were like kind of tail between our legs and like, if you haven't jam-packed booked your whole weekend, our plans just got canceled.

And sure enough, they didn't have plans on friday night so we drove up and had dinner with them yeah yeah it was great it was they're super active in our community just great great ambassadors for the lifestyle in general i mean just wise people beyond their years and hilarious well there's one thing i can say about her well there's many things i can say about her but she's a ball of fire that's enough said that has something to do with it you know sometimes in in social media or or in chat groups people are different than they are in real life she is exactly how she was that's true if you know her know her online, you know her personally, which is a compliment.

It is definitely a compliment. And her husband is so handsome and adorable, and he just sits and just grins because she's just a ball of fire going 100 miles an hour, and it's so much fun to watch their dynamic. Well, here's another thing I can say about her. What? We always say that when we meet people that listen to us and know us, that it's really great because we get to sit back and listen to them tell their story. Yeah. This time we literally sat back and she took over the microphone and she talked most of the evening. That's true. And it was great.

I just had to chew my food and nod my head. No, but seriously, that was so much fun hanging out with them at dinner that night. Yeah, when she got tired of talking, we started talking back. And I think there was even a comment that she made, like she couldn't tell if I was really, you know, evening and later I said well I couldn't get a word in now you're teasing her right now it was not that like unbalanced it we had a lovely conversation among the four of us yes and and of course I'm teasing it was it was a lot of fun yes so yeah thank you all for into town.

And I'm so glad your calendar wasn't full after we turned you down and then had to come back and ask again. Yeah. So, yeah, we love living in D.C. because so many people come into town for business and conferences and tourism and who knows what. I don't know.

I think, though, we've cleared our schedule we we were really busy lifestyle wise for the past couple of months yeah and we've intentionally start things we're starting to get a little bit out of balance so we've got march and april fairly well staked out yeah so that we we've got a vanilla cruise coming up like you said we've got some family stuff coming up so um in the race that we're going to run so we're going to try to get that balance back and take take a little bit of a breather from lifestyle stuff at least for a few weeks anyway yeah i think um i think it'll all balance you know kind of settle in again and you know sometimes these opportunities come up and you just can't turn them down i know you know well you know if you're going to be in dc don't hesitate to send us a message and if we're free that's right we're happy to get together that's right give us a little warning and we can work around our schedules so that's what's going on with the joneses in february thank goodness it's almost spring 19 to 2019 and when we come back we're going to introduce you to our friends and we're going to talk about age and lifestyle and what's age got to do with it nothing yeah spoiler spoiler alert punchline again you could just stop listening now oh no you want to listen to our friends, so stay tuned.

Welcome back to segment two of our podcast tonight, Judgment and the Lifestyle, about age yeah yeah why are we doing that mr jones well i think we as we said last time that those of us in our mid-50s we have the upper end of the age category defined but not necessarily upper hand but the upper end yeah but we can't speak from the 2030 something no and you know and one thing that that we encounter a lot when we go to events is walking into the room when we talked about this in our last episode and making those instantaneous assessments or judgments regarding like the the initial view of people oh you know they're too young or they look stuck up or you know they're too crazy looking or or whatever and and i think you know you and i might walk into a room at our stage of life and say oh you know that couple's cute but they're way too young they could like be our kids yeah and um the reason i'm bringing that up is because you and i were at a local event and you know not too terribly long ago and we ended up just at the i guess we were kind of like towards the bar weren't we and kind of standing around waiting for a glass of wine and we met this couple and just started chatting with them and they were were just this great couple, instantly easy to talk to.

And, you know, we could look at them and see that they were young, but they were just so interesting and so easy to talk to. We just kind of kept the conversation going. Right. And that was a really smart move on our part. I think so. So tonight we would like to introduce you to our friends Taz and Evan. Yes. So welcome, guys. Hi. Hey, how you doing? And one of the things that we, when we coerced them to come and podcast was that they have a perspective that we just don't have. Right. And that is that they're a different stage in their relationship, a different stage in life.

And regardless of that, though, they've decided to step into the lifestyle. So we thought if we were going to have a conversation about age, we needed to have both ends of the spectrum covered. So we're hoping that Taz and Evan do that for us tonight. And, you know, the really cool thing about our friendship with these guys is that as we continued the conversation and got to know each other, we realized we have a ridiculously a lot of stuff in common. Like, it's crazy. So we have really enjoyed getting to know you guys, and we're really valuing our genuine friendship with you all.

And we kind think you're sexy too so so what so what we'd like to do is um let you introduce yourselves and tell as much of your background and your story that you're comfortable telling okay do you want me to you're you're welcome to get a little go ahead okay so um evan and i met around when we were about 14 15 years old so we've been together for almost 17 years september this year would be about 17 years yep that's right and um you know as young hormonal horny, we had a really good sex life. It was spontaneous. It was a little bit risky.

But it was it was a really good relationship until we decided to have a child a little too early. And that forced us to become adults way earlier than we had wished to become. And so we kind of had to grow up fast. He started a job. I was at home with our daughter, and what was this great relationship between the both of us started to kind of fall apart. And we focused a lot more on our career and building our family, getting out of our parents' home and just trying to be on our own.

And eventually after about 10 years of this almost separate life in terms of just living based on society's perspective of what a woman should do and a man should do, he was working, I was, you know, being the mother, being the household, you know, being a household owner, I guess you could say, you know, running it. Taking care of the household. Taking care of the household. Yes. We fell apart and we did not have that connection, that relationship or communication was not there. And so, you know, sex was a task for me.

He had a great libido at the time, but being the one who was almost doing everything, um, I was exhausted. It was no interest to me. He would literally have to work for it. You still make me do some work. I do. Yes, I do. That's a good thing. Yeah, lots of work. So unfortunately...

you still make me do some work i do yes that's a good thing yeah um so unfortunately we ended up running into a couple of incidences of infidelity and um the last incident that we ran into we had to make a choice it was either we become a statistic and we get divorced um which I'm against being a statistic to like almost anything. I'm against society. Yes, she is. Yeah. Anything. Anything that society seems normal. I'm like, no. Opposite direction. I got to go against it. Yeah. Or we fix this.

And so I looked for a book and it was called The New monogamy um life after infidelity and we went through each chapter and each chapter was based on a specific topic we did all the questions you know we did a lot of probably the most talking we had done in years yeah we never really never talked yeah we never talked i was always a quiet person so i never i mean i'm always open with people when we're out social and socializing but when it came to relationship i'd never developed a kind of communication with her and i guess that i reflected from my my upbringing that we really didn't talk my dad never talked i never seen my dad talk to my mom really like that so it's kind of one of the things i've always just kind of like shut myself in and keep my emotions to myself right and don't reveal anything and i and i kind of ended up doing the same thing where i was like holding all the emotions in but i'm an outburster so i'm the one who lets it all build up and then it completely explodes oh i knew you and i had a lot in common yeah she's fiery yeah like when it goes it goes yeah it's ugly just run yeah so if i can kind of just interject right here so you it sounds like and you know i'll just spit this back to you and you tell me if it's accurate um you got married young you had a child young you were concentrating on running your household now bringing in an income, establishing yourselves as a family, and all of that sexiness and that libido that you experienced before you got married or when you were younger didn't take a priority at all.

And so when you were, I'm maybe putting words in your mouth, but I imagine you were very good at being professionals and very good about being a mom and a dad and very good about running your household. And then what starts to be ignored is the relationship. Yes. Right? Absolutely. And so could you talk, Evan, a little bit more about, you talked about retreating, and is that pretty much just your personality? Well, I don't know if I ever developed a proper personality for communication in terms of relationship.

I've never, my parents never, I guess I never talked to my parents about how you're supposed to interact with your wife, your significant other, how you're supposed to talk to them, what you're supposed to do. I guess maybe that was one of the things I should have did when we first got married was actually go to marriage counseling so that we could know how to properly talk to each other. Yeah, there's no book that comes with it. No.

And being thrown in it at 20 years old kind of forced on, like, we didn't even get a chance to properly develop actually a true relationship where we can say, hey, this is how we should interact with each other. I mean, we didn't even go on a date before, like a true date, like out to dinner before we got married. We were kind of just literally thrown into it together and was like, this is what you're doing because you've caused this. And so I think that's where a lot of it came from.

We were just thrown together and never had time to fully blossom as a relationship okay and i think there was a lot of regret too just because um the marriage was not exactly an option it was more like an obligation and that's coming from our christian background we were in church ever since we were little kids right and i mean not to blame you know the religion on it but that's just it was one of those. That's what formed you. Right, exactly. If you had a child outside of marriage, you were obligated to get married because now you have a responsibility of raising a family.

And so we never were able to do the whole dating thing or to be able to really enjoy each other because even before that, I was was raised in pretty strict homes so even being able to be brought home from school by him in his car wasn't you know restricted yeah oh wow so it was very tough a lot of things were done in the background yeah we're done on the sneaky side um so it was really hard for us to go from being, you know, sneaky and not being able to build a proper relationship. And we went from focusing on each other to focusing on children.

So, you know, you were, Taz, when you started talking about that book, so what was it in you that said, I don't want to be a statistic? And how did you you how did you find this book or what drove you to kind of how do I fix this I'm all I've always been the type of person who likes fixing things that is my personality I will fix something from I will fix something so for example if I feel like I mess something up I have a looming obligation in my head until I fix it to fix it. Okay. So I was, and again, because I'm against society's norms, I didn't want to be statistic.

I was like, we're not getting divorced. I was like, we're going to fix this. So I just literally Googled search, you know, how to heal from infidelity.

How does a couple heal from infidelity and this book just happened to pop up on amazon and it you know wasn't extremely expensive and i was like you know what let's just give it a try i had no idea what the new monogamy really meant so it we you know i just i just grabbed something randomly and i was like you know what maybe this will work so and i actually honestly i think i may have found it on somebody's blog i think they might have mentioned that this was a good book to read so we read it we went through it so you read it together yes okay that was the key that was the key to the book is that you had to go through the book together that's good because it had work um like workshops at the end to where you had to go through the questions and each one of you had to answer the question there were some hard questions and there were some really tough personal questions to actually admit yeah and for somebody who doesn't communicate that well admitting something that's deep down like that it's just like like, Ooh, it was, it was definitely tough to have to communicate some of the things that we had never communicated to each other before.

So what's the timeline you finish, you go through this book, you start to communicate better. Um, what, how long was it since you had been married before this book came along? It was 10 years.

10 years okay 10 years yeah um the incidences were four or five years apart they're pretty far apart um the first incident yeah it was about four or five years apart so it wasn't you know they weren't back to back or anything the first incident we kind of just ignored we didn't even talk about it it was literally just a period a period of silence for a few months and then it was like okay we're we're okay now yeah so we kind of pushed it underneath the rug and it was just like we never really addressed it we just kind of just pushed it to the side and was like okay i think we're better but we really wasn't but that's how that's how we handled everything yeah every single you know argument that we had was handled with silence it was an outburst there was no resolution to anything we didn't talk about it then we shut yeah then we shut the emotions in and just kept on going right i don't think that's unusual no no a lot of couples handle things that way and it's not we've done things like that too that's kind of our MO sometimes.

Yeah. I mean, we did that as a young couple. Yeah. So anyway, then how long was it from the time that you read this book? And obviously, as a result of this book, you began to communicate and you began to reconnect as a couple.

did the idea of the lifestyle come in was it mentioned in this book and was it talked about at that point in time or explain how that realization and transition started to happen so the book actually had a chapter about opening your relationship and to discuss the topic and the options of opening your relationship and this is in reference to somebody who's committed infidelity yes okay okay yes okay so it was the chapters kind of progress it was talk about the incident talk about the healing um reconnecting as a couple and then what if you know you just open your relationship and this will make life a lot easier it was basically how i first perceived it and so we talked about it and we you know one of the questions is what are your fantasies and he explained his fantasies and one of them was seeing me with another man and my fantasies were being with another woman.

And we both didn't know that about each other. Cheers. Absolutely. Nothing like watching from the third person.

and we didn't know that about each other and it just opened up this new perspective about each other and this new chapter in our lives we looked more into it and we were like okay let's just try it yep so that courage is like when you had when you came out and said here's my fantasy had you had any conversations about fantasies before nothing like that okay that was one of the things like of a no-no like you don't talk about that because this goes outside of what your beliefs are so how hard how hard was it to do that oh that was a hard one that was like like is she gonna divorce me because she thinks that i want to sleep with another woman or see her with another man yeah so it was very it was a very hard one to pull up especially for me mister i think i'm always tough yeah yeah can't talk about anything can't take a lot of emotions can't cry right or anything so it was definitely one of those things that was very tough to bring up okay yeah all right and then you started talking about it yeah we we probably stupidly jumped in a little too early um we i think we might have joined a website probably like two months later.

Yes. It was a little too soon before.

um we i think we might have joined a website probably like two months later yes it was it was a little too soon before we actually properly healed and how long ago was that from today we still argue about this i say two and he says three it's technically four years since we joined but we have we met a couple literally like a couple it's been like almost four years now has it no you just don't know your dates yeah i don't right now i want to say i want to say it's been three years because our littlest one was about a year at the time okay fair enough so three it's probably about three years we'll agree with her just take her answer about three years ago and thankfully though we did not know much about the lifestyle.

So what we ended up doing was meeting a couple that was local to us. And we ended up focusing on them for almost a year. Almost a year. Oh, almost a whole year. So you were almost exclusive, so to speak. We never actually even played with them. We were just focused on communicating. And we had met them a few times at events.

but we had actually even played with them we were just focused on communicating and we had met them a few times at events but we had never actually played with them so it was just a matter of i think establishing ourselves in lifestyle would you could you could we even do this could we even do this so it was so were the conversations that you i mean once you started talking about fantasies and the lifestyle, to me, people could perceive that as a divergence from your marriage and reconciling your relationship.

So how did the conversations around the lifestyle play into helping you with your relationship, if that question makes sense? I think the talk of fantasy, the fantasy talks alone. Again, at the time, our sex life, it was there, but it wasn't great. It was maintenance. Right, it was maintenance.

And so to be able to bring in this new um fun something different adventure for us even the talk of it kind of made the connection and the you know the sex even better and so it gave us that year to kind of just focus on each other reconnect using this fantasy as kind of our our driver our driver exactly okay and that's how we kind of rebuild and we communicated do you think that being able to talk about the lifestyle made it easier for you to talk about ding you hit it right on the head yes it made us way easier to be able to communicate with each other okay it's absolutely like we're almost now we're at the point where we can say almost anything like there's still some days that i have my moments where i don't want to talk but she pries it out of me and then i'd be like i shouldn't have said that at this moment because then we get an argument about it but then we go back but it's good because it's healthy for our relationship that we do argue we do discuss things and we're communicating and that's what this lifestyle so far has helped us do yeah the lifestyle has really helped us communicate in a way that we never communicated before no i don't think it would have been possible if we never would have joined the lifestyle yeah i think we might have regressed back into the silent corners that we both go into most of the time during the day well um now we're into the lifestyle but i don't think we should go forward a little bit more about, okay, now you're starting to get into the lifestyle and you have young children and you have all this other stuff going on in your life.

So before we start talking about age and get into some questions, go into just a little bit more about how you two balanced the need for you've reconciled your relationship that needs attention your children need attention yep and then you have the lifestyle stuff so at your ages and at that point in life can you talk about how you manage that oh that's a hard one i mean it's it's hard i mean it's literally we have to balance obviously the communication with connecting with other couples um you know also single single men um because we do like that it's hard balancing all that through the communication and keeping the kids satisfied but we found a way that we really we try to balance the way we do at least once a month like once a month is our time to be able to get out and actually have a good time with a couple or with whatever we were choosing for that for that month.

And that's where we're currently at right now. We made it when we, you know, when we started rebuilding our relationship, we made it a priority that we went out on a date once a month with each other, with each other.

And honestly, that was at your mom i believe that is true it was it's at the advice of your mom because i actually she helped us get through because we actually stuff we were going through yeah yeah so at the advice of his mom we started planning dates at least once a month and some of them were lifestyle and to this day some of them are lifestyle and some of them are not some of our more lifestyle nowadays but um that was our goal and so we made it a priority to put our relationship first because we know that a happy mother a happy couple equals a happy family you cannot be a good mother you cannot be a good you know a good wife without being happy and you know taking care of us and making a priority for us first.

So once we started doing that, I mean, it is very hard. We do have trouble sometimes balancing out the family lifestyle balance, especially when there's an influx. We'll go three months with not even doing any type of lifestyle play just because we have to focus on family sometimes. So it goes, it fluctuates in and out depending on, because obviously family's first, lifestyle's second. But we still try to at least occlude and get some time where we actually do have some lifestyle fun. But sometimes it's just second priority. Right, it's just not going to happen. Not going to happen.

The calendar just won't allow it. Or our relationship is more important in terms of just us, me and her reconnecting.

Because maybe we feel like we spent so much time focusing on other couples away for work or something that we didn't have time to spend time so we wanted to make sure that we connect before we actually play with another couple before we put the other couple in position where we're not even ready technically to play at night to play night yeah right because we're not connected at the time yep okay so now that we have you established in the lifestyle let's start like reflecting on on uh the the topic of age so you guys are relatively younger couple in the lifestyle and when you go to events and you run into people that are not your age um do you find that they instantly kind of turn away from you or are they going after you because they think that you're like this hot, young, fresh meat?

Or, you know, do you get like a general reaction or is it varied? It's definitely varied. You think so? I definitely think it's varied. Okay, what's your opinion on it?

I mean, let's take, for example, when we went to went to meet and greet it was a good balance of you could tell some of the couples were definitely have no fear like hey we're gonna go talk to this couple i mean they seem like they're personable and we're able to come up to then some of them seemed a little bit standoffish like they were maybe nervous because because of our age and it wasn't until i went up and like actually just just basically just talked to the lady and was like, hey, and before they were able to open up and be able to really talk to us. Yeah. Yeah.

I think the general overall reaction once they get to talk to us is positive. Yes. But I do think there is a little bit of intimidation from the get go. You know, they're younger than us.

Are they going to be to be interested in us you know are we going to make ourselves look like a fool no absolutely not yeah absolutely not so that's in person and then we had the you know opportunity to meet you in person as well to be able to have a conversation with you how about lifestyle websites what kind of traffic do you get on websites we actually get the general range is between late 30s and early 40s early 40s sometimes 50s sometimes 69 69 yes we'll do that there's so many people that are 69 years old lifestyle websites right i right? I really think this couple is 63 and 69, though.

That lady is awesome. She's a wild lady. She's a wild lady. I'm like, I don't even know how you're that. I can't handle her. I don't think I can keep up with her. But on your page, do you say you're open to all ages, or do you have an age range? I think we first started out where we had an age limit. We did, yes. But I think now, after we went to that local meeting group, we were like, age doesn't matter. I don't know.

you have an age range I think we first started out where we had an age limit but I did yeah but I think now after we went to that after we met you guys we were like this is yes age doesn't matter after we met you guys we changed we literally changed it that day like that evening or maybe it was the next day at the next day I went on to you know our sites and I changed the age from I think we had it at 40 no we had it at 49 I 49, I think. No, it was early. It was the 40s. It was the early 40s. Yeah. And I changed it to like 60.

So do you think you had the age range at first just because you thought that's what you would be comfortable with? Or do you think that you thought that's what others would be comfortable with your age range? I think it was, I think it's a bit of both. Because I think it's, you got to have that. The connection is, first of all, are we going to be able to have anything to talk about? Right. I mean. Are we going to have any interest? Are we going to have any. Common interest. Common interest. Right. And what else? It was. It was really based, to be brutally honest. It was based on the fact.

And looks. Well, no, no. It was based on the fact that looks well no no it was based on the fact that we thought how old are our parents ah okay i know yeah i thought about that when we did when we did the age range that was our thing we were like okay how old are our parents and we're like yep that, that's where we stop. Right there. So then let's switch over to us. Okay. Because when we first got into the lifestyle and we were invited out by a couple your age or a little older, our reaction was they're our kids' age. Right.

So based on what you just said about they're our parents' age, if you're with an older couple and we say, hey, you guys are how old? Oh, my gosh, we have kids your age. How does that make you feel? For me, it doesn't really bother me. I don't really – I've always been a person I don't really – it doesn't really bother me at all because I like my more mature women. Thank goodness.

So it doesn doesn't bother me I couldn't say what she has an opinion on about that yeah I never really thought about it at first when I would when we would think about that it would make me just a tad bit uncomfortable but the more I thought about it you know when I say oh they may be my parents age I was like but my parents are really cool oh and so are your parents your parents are awesome and we have such a great relationship then so what makes it and if they ever were like you know we're in the lifestyle i'd be like yeah i can see it yeah i can definitely see my parents in the lifestyle really yeah so when we go back and think about the age we're like well i mean if we can see our parents being in it and we're like, that's cool, then what makes it any different for anyone else?

Yes. That's true. Right. Yeah. Well, what about the fact that, you know, I think another thing besides you put the whole parenting thing aside. What about like just the fact that people say, I don't know if you guys have been long enough together long enough to handle swinging. Or have you heard that? So far, I don't think we've averagely heard a couple tell us that. Oh, that's good. I don't remember that. Off the top of my head, I don't remember any time. If anything, yeah, I haven't heard anything about how we haven't been long enough.

Now, granted, you can't judge us on our age to know how long we've been together. Because nobody, you have been together for a long time. For a very long time, which is unusual for a lot of people our age. Because a lot of people our age are actually, they may be like college or high school sweethearts. But they're just getting married. Some people are just getting married. Some people are just getting married right now. Right. So we don't hear that too often.

We have been told at one point that based on our age age they didn't think we would be as mature about the lifestyle as we were um we had told a couple who was interested in us that we just were not at the time interested in them um we weren't into the um sexual swinging we needed to get to know them better and they came back and said you know i am very surprised and shocked by your maturity based on your age and how well i was like i listened to mr and mrs joe i was like that's all podcast info and reading and reading you did a lot i did a lot of reading you did a lot of reading and we've talked a lot about it and we really we when we when we decided we were going to go into the lifestyle we really kind of went full full hands feet feet everything we just went full-fledged into the lifestyle and we was like if we're going to do it we're going to do it to the to the extent to the fullest extent and we're going to do it right if we can right as possible i mean we've had our failures we've had our ups and downs in the lifestyle but that that's we all yeah that comes along with the problem with yeah definitely having a relationship with another couple i mean it's definitely perfect no so um evan you you made a comment a while ago that i want to follow up on and that is the the comment about hey we're probably not going to have anything in common yes um so can we talk a little bit more about because, and what we can talk about when you answer is that how surprised we were and how much we had in common with you.

So when somebody says we probably don't have a lot in common, what types of things do you think they're thinking about that you would not have in common? Oh, it's like different eras. Like you were born in a totally different era than what we were. We grew up a wholly different way. I think a lot of the things. Different eras.

Different eras like you were born in totally different era than what we were we grew up a wholly different way i think a lot of different eras different eras okay so it's like you've already developed your career you've been through your career you've already been educated to the fullest extent you pretty much basically gained all the knowledge you probably need for right your life right i was like we're still still kind of we were still kind of developing it yeah so it's kind of like what would we really have to talk about career-wise career-wise professionally professionally about really anything good point i mean yeah also what do you watch on tv like do you watch the same shows that we watch like we are a fan of game of thrones are you going to be a fan of game of thrones what are we really going to have to be able to talk about oh music it's like we've never Thrones.

Well, that's fair enough. You don't have to. It's really good, though. It is very good. I don't watch TV, but that's the only show I do watch. You could probably talk me into trying it. I was going to say, I think Mrs. Jones is now motivated to watch Game of Thrones. I think so. Season one will definitely get your blood flowing. Yeah. But it's just a matter of just culture difference from the time. I mean, it's definitely two different groups. I mean, my mom talks, I guess my parents and her parents. Your mom is a lot more open-minded than, let's say, my parents, for example.

So I think a lot of the concerns we have, especially for a couple who's 10 plus years older than us. We were looking at our parents. Yeah, it's not going to just be interest. It's going to be are they more closed-minded because of religion? Are they going to be more political-focused? Oh, yeah. Because we're different. We've raised in a different generation, and so our views are a lot different than those of the older generations. And so we really concern ourselves with getting into those type of conflicts unknowingly. Just based off of conversation, you're afraid that topic's going to pop up.

And then we're going to have to show our age. And we're also afraid, even our own self, of showing our age to a couple. Like, are they going to have interest in what we're interested in?

Because, like, in certain instances, we sometimes like to go go out to drink we're afraid of showing our immaturity that's like one of our things sometimes because we do have our immature moments we can admit that yes we do and when we were talking to you guys for the first time every single time because it has a tendency of leaving out words or using lingo that just doesn't make sense i was I was like, proofread. Do not send that to you. She was on me like crazy. She's like, you better proofread that. You better read that like three times before you send it out.

I was like, don't make ourselves look like we're 30. I was like, don't do it. That's funny. But I think what we've learned, and we had, okay, so just to be fair, I think we had the same perception of younger couples when we got into the lifestyle that we would not have, how could we possibly have anything in common? So we should talk about the things that we surprisingly had in common. Well, I mean, we grew up in the same areas, and I didn't grow up around here.

so that was crazy and just you know the way our we started out in life i mean with becoming mothers at a very early age and get you know and getting married relatively young and and just having to grow up together um that's challenging it is um and and that's it was much more the norm for us in our generation. This is a generational difference. And you guys are exactly right. You know, people in your generation are typically waiting until at least late 20s to get married. Into their 30s really is not unusual. But again, you know, I don't know that that's necessarily easier.

You know, marriage is tough at the beginning for everybody. So I think, you know, the challenges we've gone through, even though they might have been a decade or two apart, were very similar. And as soon as we were willing to take the time to have the conversation among the four of us, all of a sudden we had this amazing stuff in common that transitions decades. It's the same stuff that we all have to learn and grow through. Yeah, and I think instead of thinking about we don't have music in common or what we watch on Netflix in common and careers in common.

We watch some sexy shows that we could recommend. Yes, we do. Please do. We will. We like sexy shows. But we're hearing you guys talk about, you know, trying to get reconnected as a couple. Talking about fantasies, taking a risk, reigniting your sex life. All of the things that you've talked about and the things that Mrs.

Jones was just mentioning are exactly the same things that we went through and are going through yeah it doesn't go away right relationship doesn't end no and it's always evolving and you never really figure it out exactly no you don't so um speaking of stereotypes and i know we've talked about you like we've asked you some personal questions but if you could speak for your era or your generation and the reason i'm going to ask you to do this is because um we we we've been invited to parties before where the party says young swingers you have to be young and young is used like three or four times in the invitation and here i am in my 50s getting this invitation and i'm a little bit confused um and people say well yeah but you guys are young at heart or you guys are this are you look great you look like you're really fit for your age yeah and so there's a mixed message there about i certainly respect a different generation needing to connect with people in their own generation or to feel comfortable about getting into the lifestyle.

And I also understand that there are stereotypes on our end of it. Because look, when you turn 40 and 50, you don't just get out of bed and look pretty in the morning. I mean, it takes a lot of work. You do, honey. I have to work, but you're pretty in the morning. Thank you. And some of us let ourselves go when we get to a certain age, and maybe we don't think our appearance is that absolutely important anymore. And so there's a physical difference.

And so I'm just wondering if you could speak from stereotypes from your era or your generation, like what would couples your age say are some of the stereotypes that they hear about age in general in the lifestyle, whether it be old people or from a young person's perspective? With our age group, a lot of the stereotypes, I think it goes back to the interest and a lot of the things that they believe about older couples are they're boring or they're not as fun which i've learned vicariously through you guys that older couples you know especially a desire are not boring.

If They think they're way more fun. I think they're boring or they're too close-minded. They're too focused on, you know, topics that we may not have common interest in. Or they're only focused on just the sex part. No, they're sexual sinners versus social swingers.

They don't have time to develop those relationships that yeah that we're looking for i totally get that yeah and and honestly the same stereotypes exist for couples that are younger than us yeah yeah and for older couples um who stereotype you know couples our age or even how we view couples who are 10 years younger than we are yes you know we think there's no way that they can be strong enough in the relationship to me in the lifestyle or they're not mature enough or you know they their interests are not going to match ours and so it goes both ways yes it does it really does we're so open-minded and we've learned I mean I no doubt for the last 10 years I mean probably me more than you was really close-minded just because of my upbringing it was relationships only exist between two people mostly male and female um you know religion was a huge part of it um infidelity was a huge sin opening your relationship was also considered cheating it was in you know when you stay committed you stay committed there was no you know i was very very one one way my mind was only one one you know right very straightforward with the way i was thinking so we really developed into this we really became open-minded about everything and if anything i think we're sometimes too open-minded for people especially for some of our parents who are like yeah so do you think you being open-minded is a um generational benefit or do you think it's just that's just how you are like do you do you see other of your peers in your peer group being more open-minded no no i think it well and i think that i think that's because our peers were raised in the same um same background same environment same environment i really think that you're you're closed or open-mindedness is all based on your background and what location and your location because i've found when i'm when i'm like a more located at too oh definitely where we're looked at it's still really backwards it's kind of like almost like when we're back in our hometown yeah um but when i travel for work it's like okay these people are definitely open when you're in the cities it's definitely the people are definitely different compared to and more open-minded compared to where we live compared to where we're living where we're living at where people seem more closed-minded and we have to be careful in those areas because you know we wouldn't want to put our kids at risk of getting shamed or whatever whatever you want to call it right just because their parent of their parents decision right with their parents lifestyle took a lot for our location to even get a sex store i know it really and they still fight it it right now yeah that's how close-minded i don't even know where the closest one is here i think you have to pretty much go up to the city yeah you do yeah so what i'm hearing you say is that really the whole open-minded close-minded attitude might not be just strictly generational it can be Some geographical yes yes interesting and just i guess yeah i guess it is geographical on how you're raised right just you know just your background in general again as i stated before i was raised in a very strict home i was very you know one-way minded so you know to be open-minded and to even accept some of the things that people see.

So this is a tough question for me to ask, but throw it in there. Making the assumption and maybe I should clarify this first, I'm assuming that you've played with couples of different age ranges.

yes what if anything do you find is different in your experience with playing with older couples or younger couples and and it could be there is none or you could maybe have some observations like is there a trend is that what you're saying well yeah what yeah, I guess I'm just looking for when you have a good experience, is there a difference between a good experience with older couples, a good experience with younger couples, or how would you differentiate, if at all? I don't think there's any difference besides the relationship. Okay.

The relationship of the couple reflects in the actual, I guess you could say, the playtime. Okay. Yeah, I don't think the age makes a difference. We've played with couples. I think most of the couples we've played with, now granted, our experience is very limited because we haven't played with too many.

I mean, we can count them on both hands, but for those for those that we have played we play with most of the couples we play with have been older than us and it really has depended all on their relationship it's not a matter of age it's a matter of how strong the relationship is and that that's what makes the experience good or bad so so then if if it's equal and maybe you don't know but do you find um well let me just say what we've experienced because i think one of the things that people say that they're attracted to in us is that it's that it's our relationship i think people think we're safe because our relationship is you know solid So we have the benefit of years.

We've been married a long time. We have an established relationship. But what are the things that you, do you see the same things in couples your age that have only been married a year or two? I mean, can you pick up on the strength or the weaknesses in relationships there?

I think usually you can figure it out by your communication with them before you've been getting together or on that initial date when you go out just to at least have drinks or have a dinner you really get the vibe of where that couple is at in their relationship okay that's where i always that's where i always see that right yeah usually it's usually it's either in the conversation or when, I mean, that's probably the reason why we don't follow through with, I mean, we've, we've spoken to a lot of couples too many to count.

And that's why our, our, you know, our experience is so limited because we've had to turn down so many because we can just tell through the chat that the relationship just wasn't there or it was one sided. Right. Right. And so we had to turn it down. I think you can really notice it, and you can see the red flags that pop up when you're chatting, but also when you meet. We never turn people down just because the wife's not chatting or the husband's not chatting. We don't turn them down and say, we're not going to meet you.

We usually wait for that meet and greet to really get a good feel of what's going on. You know, it's interesting because we've run into a couple of different couples recently where they have like the ultimate age issue because they are 11, 12 years apart. Oh, wow. Wow.

You know, and I we we have seen it both ways where the husband's younger than the wife and then the wife is younger than the husband but there's like a good 11 or 12 year age gap and they have really experienced a lot of bias against them right i can see that i was like the one that was at that event that we went to when we met you guys we were very i was like that's different i never thought about it in that aspect i never thought about um how do you right how would you approach couples being a couple who's 10 years apart from each other like what is your you know right what's your range right you know because if you go 10 years younger then you know going like, you know, a whole lot younger, you know, so they really have to kind of measure that and find what's comfortable.

And they, they, you know, they, they get a lot of confusion, you know, when people reach out to them and they find, you know, the age gap. Right. So, you know, I think that, you know, there's just all kinds, it's kind of mind blowing, but, but to me, what you have just explained to us, you know, in theory should make this not a topic at all. No. Because you just said it's about the relationship, the strength of the relationship, which can be strong at the age of 25. It can be strong at the age of 65 and it can be a hot mess everywhere. I mean, I don't know what age you are. Exactly.

I mean, this is what we're discovering. And I liked what I've learned listening to you guys is, you know, Taz, I think it was you that made the comment about the assumption that if you're older, you're a more sexual swinger. Right.

And what we've found with sexual swingers is it's evolving there there's like a new generation of social swinging and we find ourselves at our age in a new generation we're just as intimidated as you are by some of these couples that are they just want to hook up and they're hookup swingers, I have to, the disclaimer is that's nothing wrong with that, but you're going to find far fewer younger couples that have that kind of approach because they don't have that length of experience in the lifestyle. So I think maybe Mrs.

Jones, you and I are caught up in this number of where our age is that there's a possibility just because you look at our profile and you look at our ages that we might fall into that category of being a sexual swinger. And so I can understand why somebody would be hesitant because guess what? I would be hesitant if I thought they were that kind of a person as well.

So I'm curious to know um we talked about being intimidated by younger couples and you guys even said the same thing about maybe older couples what advice would you have for couples that any couple really but especially older couples who see you at an event or your profile and they're attracted to you or they want to talk to you what advice would you have for them as far as um how you should how should they engage with you oh i love this one it's it's really like just be yourself i mean if you're interested and you're attractive and i mean if you're not attractive but if you're attracted to the couple that you want to chat with just go up and talk to them i mean there's no harm in doing it yes you're probably going to meet some couples that are that may push you off because they're young and they don't hang around they don't want to hang around older couples but most of the time most of the people we found in the lifestyle are actually super friendly and you can talk to anybody very approachable and very approachable and that's what right just do your thing no matter what your age is if you find us attractive or we find you attractive we're going to approach you and be who we are we know for a fact you know in the lifestyle that not everyone's going to be attracted to everyone you can't be attracted to everyone you take that risk that when you go up to somebody they may not you know or they just may not be you know the type of people they want to hang out with like they you just may not find any common interest but you won't know until you take that first step you can still have a friendly five-minute conversation with them and that's not going to hurt anything no absolutely not like don't be intimidated at all and i i understand um evan and i are very different um than most of individuals and couples our age because we kind of have like this old soul about us just because of our past we've been forced to grow up so i think a lot of older couples just kind of not to sound arrogant but kind of draw near us just because that's our type of personality and we're very friendly and we don't seem immature but again if you know you find them attractive and you want to approach them don't be intimidated by it your shot yeah so speaking of shooting my shot i have a follow-up question to that because it's one thing to say that to not be intimidated but I'm just going to be frank with you you know if I see a young lady and I say oh my gosh she's really beautiful and there seems to be some interest and I'm like like gosh I'm I'm in my mid-50s I don't know if I could keep up I don't know if I could make her feel good I don't know that I could keep up.

I don't know if I could make her feel good. I don't know that I'm still capable of competing, so to speak, with a 30-year-old or a 35-year-old gentleman. So can you stroke my ego a little bit? This is pathetic, Mr. Jones. Come on. This is serious because I think a lot of guys my age are reluctant to reach out to a couple your age because my impression would be maybe I'm not in your league. Maybe I can't perform or maybe I couldn't make you happy. So what kind of response would you have?

This is really funny because Evan had – I don't think it's funny because evan had actually mentioned this i was like don't say that he had actually mentioned one of the stereotypes that he had of older couples was that they wouldn't did you not state that your stereotype of older couples was that they wouldn't be able to keep up they wouldn't keep up yes keep and that's absolutely not true mr jones as i believe c stated you can fuck it's okay um and that's it's absolutely not true and i think i was telling evan in the in the car when we were talking about this that if anything you know the older couples have more energy more.

They're not taking care of kids like we are anymore. They're actually getting full, decent anniversaries to sleep, unlike I am. If anything, they have more energy. They have more stamina. They're, you know, just more outgoing. So we stopped even thinking or believing that was true, especially after, you know, being with you guys. But just in general, we just know that that's not true.

Okay okay i hope all of you gentlemen out there my age are taking notes well and i think you know on the flip side you know when we when we first met you you know it's so so these guys are young as we've been talking about for the past few minutes but they're also also extremely attractive. So you are a very impressive couple at first glance. And it was such a relief to actually start talking to you and immediately find out that you were warm, interesting people who seemed to be interested in what I had to say as well.

And and i'm not saying that you're like you appear aloof at first glance but you're just you're very attractive young energetic couple and that can be intimidating for people our age so you know i'm so now i'm talking to all the people our age out there don't be afraid because there are some fascinating people of all ages out there that you're gonna find that you can connect with absolutely and the young young people like us don't be afraid to go for the older people because they are awesome the older couple sometimes i'm intimidated by some of the older ladies i'm just like more mature ladies as you could properly say um because they're gorgeous and it's like can i do anything to satisfy them can i please them oh yeah it's sometimes yeah and am i immature enough if i'm mature enough to be able to carry a conversation with them to be able to even get them attracted to me to be able to be like hey are they gonna look at me like no no you're just.

Yeah. And the moral of the story is it takes a five-minute conversation to at least know if this is worth exploring. Exactly. So, Evan, I want you to speak to all of the mature ladies out there because one thing that I tried to tell Mrs.

Jones over and over again is that, you know, honey, younger guys are attracted to older more mature ladies i don't get it but i'll take it that that could not be more correct is something about an older an older more mature lady that just drives me wild in particular okay so all of you ladies and so um as we start to wind up what i'm hearing is that you're attracted to couples I don't see it.

And so as we start to wind up, what I'm hearing is that you're attracted to couples who have a good relationship, who are respectful to each other, who take the time to not only share about themselves, but get to know you, who are not really aggressive or assertive sexual swingers, but they're social swingers, and that you're looking for that same kind of connection, that four-way connection as a group. I'm not picking up on anything that has anything to do with age. No, not really.

I think these connections kind of transcend time if you actually take the time and put a little bit of energy in it so yeah i mean is that is that accurate is oh absolutely 100 accurate age is literally just a number that's all it is yeah it does not define you in any way you can be young and immature you can be young and mature you can be young and in i don't know just it's just literally you can be old and really immature yeah yes oh yes yes you can we've seen a there's so many of those absolutely so age really is it's just a number and honestly we we have stopped looking at age.

We really have stopped looking at it. Our first thing is to look at the message and see what they actually wrote before we decide we'll move on. But what we were talking about in our last podcast about judgment, you admitted that you had an age range and that you didn't. And that what it took for you to get beyond that was a conversation absolutely and so as we were talking about mrs jones in our last episode taking the time to talk to people and are you going to invest the energy and the time to listen to them and to understand them then all of a sudden the playing field changes a little.

And it's more of an equalizer. It's that judgment versus assessment. If you take the time and kind of assess the situation, which takes a little bit of energy. Yes, it does. But is it going to be worth it? It can definitely, a little bit of five minutes of energy can create a whole new friendship that could be a lifelong friendship. Absolutely. I can see that five minutes of stepping out there definitely worked out. It was worth it. Yes, it was. So I think that those instantaneous judgments that we are wired to make as human beings can be our worst enemies. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.

And I think we knew the answer to this question before we started this podcast, but it sure was a lot of fun. Yes, it was. Because if we would have sat here and told people this, it would have gone in one ear and at the other. Yeah, whatever. So George is preaching again. Yeah, but it's really good to have a younger couple live in the flesh. A fresh perspective. Yeah, and to hear that. I learned a lot because we were, I mean, I was really intimidated. I don't think I was intimidated by you. I just made the assumption that there wouldn't be an interest.

Yeah, you guys were off the table because you guys were just young and super attractive and and you know you were really interesting to talk to but then all of a sudden we were like hmm maybe we can't see that we yeah yeah so so really it was so i don't want you to think that um you know everybody out there a lot of people out there have this impression that the Joneses know everything and that they are full of wisdom. But what I'm trying to tell you guys is that you taught us, you know, the same thing that hopefully we've taught you and that that number is a number. Exactly. Irrelevant.

Totally irrelevant. And it's not relevant. And that's...

It's nice for us to say it and like thump our fist on the table you know age is just a number but but to have you kind of like validate that for us it it really not only helps mr jones and i but it i mean it helps people out there that that are a little bit more mature right and um that that do run into people like you and never have the courage to actually take the the that next step right to start a conversation with you and and that's a missed opportunity on their part it is can we talk about a fantasy for a minute oh boy because when we were talking about a single guy and one of the things that's always been a fantasy in my mind with Mrs.

Jones and a single guy, is that I just think it turns me on so much to know that a younger guy is attracted to my wife. And now, in this case, it's not a single guy, but it's the same situation. Sorry, I have headphones on. Sorry, I'm trying to flirt, and I've got these clunky headphones on. Her head is swelling up a little bit now.

But it turns me on so much because I know her, and I appreciate her, and I know how hard she works to stay in shape and to do the things that she's doing and and what i appreciate about it is when there's another man attracted to her that's one thing but when there's a younger man attracted to her the next day she's like her strut she's strutting around just a little bit more i still got it she's a gorgeous lady and of course when I know that my wife is A little bit more. I still got it. She's a gorgeous lady. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah.

And of course, when I know that my wife is having a good time with the gentleman, then that allows me to focus on my attentions on where they should go. Oh, and I do enjoy watching that as well. Oh, yes. Yes. I definitely enjoy that. I remember, yeah. You and I both enjoy watching that, don't we? Absolutely. Well, I think it's about time to wrap things up. I know, enough of this business.

Well, we want to just thank Taz and Evan for you guys for coming all the way up here and sitting down with us and talking about this and being willing to put yourselves out there and to share your experiences. So is there anything else that you want to add before we close? No, I think we're good. Thank you guys for having us. We appreciate it. Thank you very much. We really appreciate it. And now all of you out there who end up meeting older couples or younger couples, we expect the thank you notes to come in. That's right. Don't be scared. Shoot your shot.

all right and this goes all goes wisdom this goes all the way back to episode nine when we talked about profiles and about filtering people out yes because the more the more criteria you have whether that it's a number whether it's a skin color or you know whatever it is that you that you have in your mind's a play style, you know, to set that aside and spend the time when you can, you know, to invest in understanding other people. Now, the reality is, look, you have jobs. You have young children. We have lives. And so you can't have time for everybody.

But the people you don't have time for, it shouldn't be about, um, something that's a number, right? You have the right to spend time with who you want to, but don't limit your chemistry. You know, it's either there or it's not, but don't, but don't let, um, barriers that are, are just like these, you know, these like concrete barriers, whether it's age or race or whatever bias you naturally have, because these people are not like you, don't let that get in the way because you're potentially missing some wonderful opportunities to make amazing friends. Absolutely.

I think we've viewed profiles as just a way to get in contact with you i think we start i mean we'll read a profile but really honestly we will not judge based on a profile anymore no no because some people you don't know how well they write some people write better than other people and you just talk better some people talk people yeah exactly so that's why you never know and that's why i think those meet and greets that you guys host and any type of meet and greet anybody hosts are excellent opportunities to get out there and and really meet people with having no as you can say no prejudgment based on their profile exactly yeah and i think that's like the best thing that anybody can do if anybody's nervous about talking to a a younger couple or an older couple, go to a meet and greet.

I mean. You have the opportunity to go. It's kind of a safe place. And there's no pressure there. You're free to just talk to whoever you want and see how you connect. See what comes from it. Exactly. I was going to say, why don't we go cook some steaks, but here doesn't eat meat no that's okay we we have a nice piece of fish to cook she's always on for the meat okay got it well with that i think we need to shut this thing down all right well thanks a lot you guys thank you all right Welcome back to our snapshot segment. That was a lot of fun. I know.

Speaking of snapshots, I mean, gosh, if we could just kind of talk about continuing what happened after that recording. Well, we grilled fish. Yeah, we did. We don't grill steak every time we have somebody over. You know, I like to mix it up a little. It was a lot of fun. You guys did great. It was a lot of fun. You did, yeah. And then we had a lot of fun. We did. After dinner. They're such a fun couple just to hang out with. They're very low maintenance, and they are just a blast. Yeah, and we look forward to seeing them again. And they're pretty sexy.

I think we're going to see them again pretty soon. I think so, too. Okay, snapshots. Yeah, okay. That was a snapshot right there. So we had some people that we've known virtually for a while. And we knew that there was kind of a little spark between us, but we really weren't sure kind of where things were headed with this couple. So we eventually managed to get together with them fairly recently. And we really weren't sure how the whole evening was going to go. We didn't know if we were just going to kind of hang out and not play or I don't know. So anyway, we had a great evening together.

We were just kind of all hanging out and talking. And all of a sudden, things just started getting really spicy. So we were in a hotel room that had a couch that pulled out into like a sleeper sofa. And the four of us were on the couch. I think we were playing the dumb card game, right? Yes. So we were playing the dumb card game. And all of a sudden, the game got dumb, as Mr. Jones likes to say. Well, I don't know how you can say that things just all of a sudden started happening. It was because of the dumb card game. Well, right. I mean, the dumb card game has a purpose, for sure.

Right, right.

So yeah, so things were spicing up and getting a little hot and heavy so um you started making out with her and i know she started making out with me she did she started it for sure and then i started like making out with the husband and then we realized that we needed a little more floor or not real estate yeah so then somebody realized that the couch actually just literally folded back and down into a sleeper sofa not the kind where you have to like roll out the mattress so we were trying to like just push the back of the sofa down to make it flat the other wife went around back and she was kind of pushing down on it and the husband was pushing forward and then it looked fairly flat so everybody climbed back on it and then as soon as like the fourth person put their body weight on it it went kaboom and everybody kind of like fell six inches because it wasn't completely down in place yet right so.

So, it was actually hilarious because, you know, four grown-ups on this, like, sleeper sofa bed thing, and I thought we were going to break it. Well, we tried to recover a little bit, but finally, I think somebody sensible, might have been me, said, there's a bed in the other room. I know. Well, and like, you know, sometimes I can be a squirter. And I was like getting really close to that point. And there were like no towels down on the sofa. And I was like to the point where it's like I really wanted to, but I didn't want to because I didn't want to mess up the sofa.

So all of a sudden I was like. She ran and got you a towel. Yeah, she got me a towel. And then you were like, this is ridiculous.

Let's just go in the bedroom yeah and then we did yeah well you know and things just got crazier in there what they say about good girlfriends they're there they're there when you need she had my back that's for sure I think she could tell that um I was in distress that was a super fun night that was a lot of fun yeah yeah even after we get into the bedroom it got got a little heated in there as well you know and it's funny how different personalities come up and i think this is actually going to end up being somewhat of a future topic you know when when you have really different personalities in the bedroom do do people find that a turn on or do people find it like intimidating or off-putting or whatever and i mean there was just all kinds of crazy stuff going on in the bedroom with different people reacting different ways and and it was all good yeah i mean it was fascinating to watch people that you you know you don't know very well, completely let go in front of you.

And that's really kind of a really high form of flattery, that they trust you enough and that they feel comfortable enough and that you're turning them on enough to watch them go crazy. So yeah, that was super fun. Yeah, we are going to talk about that in the future. So my snapshot, and I know I take a little bit of heat as a guy because Thank you.

in the future so my snapshot and i know i take a little bit of heat as a guy because when it comes to pictures with with women yeah but maybe maybe this snapshot will help people understand where i'm coming from so our out of the country friends that stopped by and spent and spent Tuesday afternoon and evening and into the night with us, she's a very, well, she's very attractive, she's very intelligent, but she's also very confident and very vocal. And we were still, this is a snapshot that happened upstairs in the kitchen as we were having drinks and we were kissing.

I have no idea what you're talking about. Well, that's because it was just between she and I. Oh, wow. So she came in to kiss me again, or I went to kiss her. Or she said, just wait till you see what I have underneath. I remember what she had on underneath. Yeah. But here's why that's my snapshot, because, you know, she didn't say, you know, I have a new bra and panty set on, or she didn't say, I hope you're gonna, I hope you're gonna like my lingerie.

Well, you know, she said, I've got something something on underneath and i know you're gonna like it yeah and the thought of that which stayed in my mind for a long time was a lot more sexy to me than waiting till she took her clothes off to see what it was yeah and so when when it it's it you know and what she did when i was thinking about this Let's for you. You're going to like it confidently. She didn't say, I hope you're going to like it. She said, you're going to like it. And that confidence, all of a sudden, it just, wow, that's all I thought about. And it created this desire.

I wanted to take her clothes off. I wanted to see what it was. Now, of course, when I saw what it was, it was very pretty, but it didn't stay on very long. Yeah. Well, that's okay. It doesn't have to stay on for an hour for that picture of it to stay imprinted in your brain.

But I think think when i see another woman like when people post their pictures on in chat rooms or whatever like i liked the other night because it was mardi gras and like some of the ladies had put in our community had posted pictures of themselves and they had beads over their boobs yeah they were naked so well some ladies had like like lacy back black bras on with beads and then some people had like their bare boobs with beads and some people had on like like literally like 50 strands of beads so you couldn't even see their boobs but you knew their boobs were bare under them right like so you got to see like the whole spectrum of raciness yeah but they were all so hot and intriguing and so what that does is it engages my mind and my imagination oh yeah if i see a naked boob i think of i want to put my mouth on that or my hands on that you know there's an immediate response of like touching it or doing something with it but when there's something left to the imagination my imagination runs wild and then i just create this scene in my head and it just it makes the whole evening or the or the whole photograph or the whole conversation that much more sexy in my mind that's cool so yeah I mean it wasn't even I mean now when we got to the bedroom we had a lot of fun oh my gosh they are so easy to be with yeah and she's very like I said she's very vocal she tells you what she wants she tells you what she likes she tells you what she's enjoying and to me and she doesn't it's not phony you know it's just a really straightforward way but it really is good communication and just I just enjoyed myself with her I enjoyed enjoyed the confidence that she had.

I enjoyed the desire that led up to that, which I think, I mean, as a guy, it's got to help you perform. Because that anticipation is what kind of kicks your mind into gear, which gets the rest of your body going. Right, right. And you know what else is so amazing about this couple that we're talking about right now is that they stay so connected during the play with each other without making their play partners feel excluded. Like it draws me into them.

You know, like she'll just look over, she'll be doing something to you and she'll look over at her husband and she'll say i love you baby oh my gosh yeah that is so sexy well and we were we ended up full swapping with them and when when he was putting his condom on i asked her i said would it be okay with you if if i watch if we watch them get started because i wanted to watch that and she was like absolutely i want to watch that too I don't know.

asked her I said would it be okay with you if if I watch if we watch them get started because I wanted to watch that and she was like absolutely I want to watch that too so she was just as you know I think some of them feel like well that's not what I came here for you know I want to be with you but to your point about that connection I love it when the wife wants to she wants to talk to her husband she wants to touch him every once in a while she wants to watch what's going on on the other side of the bed and and i know that that you know there's a whole people that really don't care about that or they like separate rooms and that's totally fine but for us it's that connectivity that that four-way tension and that four-way touching and all of us together is really what makes it very fluid and very fun.

Yeah, yeah. And, I mean, you and I have been very fortunate. We had two really good experiences in a row where we had that four-way connection. We did. And, you know, you're just so thankful when that happens because it really is. It's rare. And that doesn't mean you can't have fun without that. I mean, we always have fun. But it's just, I don't know. When I say it makes it easy, that makes it sound like it's not fun or whatever.

But easy is good because easy takes off the pressure and when you take off the pressure then you can let your guard down and when you let your guard down then your body can actually like respond i think more right and yeah yeah it was easy and it was fun yep for sure okay well let's wrap up episode 60. I know. And I wanted to remind you all that our members-only community has been growing pretty steadily lately. It has. And we'd love to welcome you in. So our website is wegotathing.com.

If you'll visit our website and check out our membership community subscription and see if you might be interested we'd love to have you and you know what i love about our community is that we have people of all experience levels and and everybody helps everybody out you know the the um i think the the experienced people benefit from the newbies because it kind of keeps us grounded yeah and and helps us to remember how far we've come and, and, you know, and it helps us be, you know, kind of thankful for, for what we've got.

And then, you know, and then the newbies have all these people to ask questions to with all these different life experiences and perspectives.

And actually it was pretty cool tonight because it was somebody's anniversary and they said something about happy anniversary to their spouse well then somebody got the idea of posting wedding pictures yeah and then before you know it there's 20 or 30 different oh i think there were more than that i mean it was crazy from 40 years ago to 10 years ago or five years ago people were posting their wedding pictures i know there were some serious 80s hair in some of those wedding pictures but everybody was beautiful and happy and you know just to think okay so some of these pictures are literally like you know 30 40 years old you know or 20 or 15 years old or however old and these people are still connected and happy.

Yeah. And and the big topic of conversation that came up and this applies whether you're married or not, because there are lots of life partners out there that don't necessarily have a license to go with their commitment. And that's fine. But the common theme was that marriage isn't easy and love is a choice.

Sometimes you just kind of have to choose to love your partner during the rough times of life and i think that we've done that and and when you when you come out on the other side of that then you really appreciate what you have and and it's just it was so refreshing to see all that tonight so this little bonus podcast episode is brought to you by our we gotta think members community yeah Yeah I know. We also have many courses little short courses on topics and we have our full navigating your lifestyle journey course if you're interested in an A to Z course. That's right.

We'd ask that you we have a community on Cassidy but don't get the community on Cassidy confused with our members community. Right. Because they're vastly different things. Yes. And don't forget also that you can join us on Double Date Nation. That's right. A new lifestyle website. It's sleek and it's sexy and it's growing quickly. Yeah. So you can go to our website and get your free 90 day subscription to Double Date Nation. And as soon as you get on there, send us a friend request and join our group on there as well. That's right. We're on there and we're looking for friends. Yep.

And even though our weekend November is full at Desire, you can still book your Desire vacation throughout the year from our website. That's right.

Either Desire Resort, Temptation, Desire Cruises, we have links to all of those on our website.'s right either desire resort temptation desire cruises we have links to all of those on our website and we really appreciate your support and we'd love to hear about your trip yeah and thank you for the emails we continue to get a lot of emails but feel free to do that we love answering email and you can reach me at mr jones at we got a thing.com or you can reach me at mrs jones at we got a thing.com follow us on reach me at MrsJones at WeGotAThing.com Follow us on Twitter at WeGotAThing We have a Facebook community, WeGotAThing And an Instagram account, WeGotAThing And we're even on Pinterest Yeah, I think my cocktail recipes are on there They are So thanks for listening, we are Mr.

and Mrs. Jones And WeGotAThing What's your thing? We'll see you next time.