Episode 56: Seven Habits of Highly Successful Swingers

Transcript

This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us? Hello, everyone. I'm Mr. Jones.

And I'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 56 of the we got a thing podcast so what's the title tonight honey the seven habits of highly successful swingers see that's your title yeah yeah so Yeah. So it's obviously like Countdown to Desire because we've got seven something again, just like last year. Yeah, I'm trying to forget about last year. Last year was about six, seven sexy swinger sins. Hey, you almost got it right. That's like the first time in a year. The seven sexy swinger sins. That's what I said. But swings is... See, you can't even say it. Sins is a negative.

It's a downer. It's like, this is wrong and this is bad. We were trying to give people pitfalls. Right. I want to talk about habits of highly successful swingers before we talk about that. So another month of living in the same, working in the same home with Mrs. Jones. Oh no. Where is this headed? Well, I have no more, not only have you taken the beer fridge from me. I have not. Yeah. It was supposed to be a beer fridge and now it's just a beer shelf. And then now you're drinking beer. So half the stuff on the shelf is yours.

And then you wanted to paint and clean the garage that used to be my domain. I know. And you should thank me for that. I pulled everything out of a three car garage and cleaned it and painted it.

So finally, now I've been relegated to having to go to three places to get ready in the morning well we could move the ironing board into the other guest room no so mrs we have a really large master bath and off that master bath directly mrs jones has a closet that's almost as big as the whole master bath i have an amazing closet yeah i'm i'm very blessed yes so outside of the master bedroom or excuse me the master bathroom is my little it is little barely qualifies as a walk-in closet it's small yeah and you got irritated because you said my closet was too full of things, too cluttered.

It is. And then there's also one of the light bulbs is out. So you can't even, it's like, it's like a cave in there. Right. So you took all of my business, like my suit jackets and dress slacks and. That's because you were smooshing them. You can't smoosh suits. And you put them in another, in the furthest guest bedroom from our master bedroom. That's because all my swinger clothes are in the guest room next to our bedroom. Yeah. So now I have to go from the bathroom.

Then I have to make the first stop in my little closet to get my socks and my underwear on and then i have to proceed to the other room to get my pants and my shirt and my shoes and my belt on then i have to come back in and get my phone and my wallet and all that stuff oh you forgot a step what on the days you have to iron your shirt yeah then the ironing board is in another that's a good point. The ironing ward is in a different room. He's right. I can't even defend myself. But we could move the ironing board into the exercise room where your stuff is. No, because that's your exercise room.

Well, that's true. It's just, I don't need... You have a rough life. Those are first world problems. I'm sorry. I do. Oh my goodness. Anyway, what have we been up to? Yes. Let's, uh, let's talk about something good. We need a vacation. Yeah, I know. Yeah. So we had our first regional meet and greet and it was a huge success. It was amazing.

It was social club in providence rhode island and choice social club is the opposite of the club we went to in tampa yeah the polar opposite yes yeah we'll talk about that in a minute but we have friends in the in the area and they graciously hosted us for the weekend oh they were amazing hosts amazing hosts. So they picked us up at the airport. All of you future potential hosts out there need to listen to this. So you know what our expectations are. They set the bar pretty high. They picked us up at the airport. I had rented a car. And they were like, you don't need to rent a car.

We're going to pick you up at the airport. And I'm like, no, that's fine. You know, we don't, it will be easier. And they're like, no, seriously. Like, you don't need a car. We're going to pick you up at the airport. So they did. And then we went back to their house and had a drink and got ready. And then what did we do on Friday night? Oh, my gosh. We went out to a steakhouse. Yeah, in downtown Boston.

It was think i had a manhattan they had we had a couple of cocktails yep i had a gin gimlet and then we had a bottle of wine with dinner and i think we all had steak it was amazing yeah and then we went to go see hamilton at the boston opera house yes that was amazing it was incredible yep i mean i couldn't believe how beautiful first of all the boston opera house was i mean it was just so historic and ornate i was so pretty you're not gonna say magical that's your word i know it really was the whole well the whole weekend was but then hamilton if you haven't seen it it's just it's very hard describe.

It's just, there's a lot to it. It's very deep and it was just incredible. And then we came home and got in their brand new hot tub. Yes. And christened their hot tub. Oh, no, we didn't christen their hot tub. We christened their playroom after we got out of the hot tub. Yeah, they had a guest room. They just had recently moved, and they had a guest room down in their basement, which their basement was incredible. And yeah, they had a playroom down there, so we broke it in.

And they were telling us that they had, somebody had friends over or something, they were giving them a tour of the house. Co-workers, they had co-workers over.

Somebody looked in that room and says, well, you've got your own orgy room set up down here and they just had to bite their tongues that's right but but they have the furniture in there it's like a bed but it's a i mean it's like a sofa but it's a bed it's a day bed sort of design it's a day bed but it's queen yeah it's like a queen size yeah it's really really nice so yeah we had some fun so on saturday they took us down to newport rhode island and we got to walk along the waterfront and see all the old historic mansions and uh kind of see the downtown area and then they took us to this place right on the water for lunch we had lobster rolls oh my gosh i didn't think they were going to let us in because I didn't have my tweed jacket on, my ascot.

Yeah, we were just pretty casual. It was so nice. But the venue was incredible. The food was good. The company was amazing. So then we dashed home after that, and we got cleaned up, and we went back to Providence. Oh, so sorry, Providence, Yeah. We went back to Providence for our meet and greet. Well, first of all, we went to, um, downtown Providence and met everyone that the six couples from our membership community in the bar. Yep. And for a couple hours got to meet everyone. What a, what an amazing group.

It was so cool was so cool because um well one of the members volunteered to find the venue and and kind of got it all organized for us and we got stuck in traffic on the way down so we were like fashionably late and walked in maybe like 10 or 15 minutes after everybody else so we were the last one there and we walked in and there's this big group of people and they all acted like they had known each other for years i know and they had all just met the nerve of them they weren't just standing around waiting for us to get there we had to kind of interrupt their conversations to introduce ourselves it was amazing and i yeah the whole group just like really gelled and i think everybody got along well, and everybody was, like, really sexy and friendly.

Yes. Yeah. Sometimes you, because we had all been chatting together in our community, and there was a lot of flirting going on, especially with a particular pair of people. Somebody had their eyes on you, honey. You get, well, yeah, you get up there, and you're afraid, well, you know, we're going to get together and we're not going to connect and something's not going to go right. But I thought everybody really connected well. I did too. It was a lot of fun. Yep. So then the bunch of us, instead of Ubering, somebody had a minivan, so we all crammed into the minivan, overloaded it.

It was hilarious. They said that it seats seven or maybe 12 swingers. So yeah, it was only like a 10-minute ride from the restaurant to the club. So we all piled in there and all the ladies were comparing what we all had on our swinger bags. I don't know how I missed that. You don't remember that? No.

They were like a really nice vibrator being i sitting up front we weren't using the vibrators we were just comparing them oh i don't know where you were were you next to me i think so i don't even remember anyway it was fun a couple of months ago we really gave a scathing review to eyes wide shut in tampa i know. I still feel a little bad about that, but it was a pretty honest review. However, Choice Social Club, we have to give kudos to Jim and Jackie, the owners, and to Meg, the manager. What an awesome club. Yep.

it's right up there with our experiences at Dallas Colette and, um, yeah, Trapeze Atlanta. And, uh, Jim and Jackie were just, and Meg were just very professional and easy to work with. I mean, they, you know, this was the first time we had arranged something like this, so we didn't really know, you know, even what questions to ask.

and they were just so helpful and so responsive when we had a question we needed something so they've set up us uh part of the bar part of the club just for our group yep and an extra bar back there 30 or 40 couples ended up showing up and um when we we first went on the tour what first of all the club was laid out really cool and there's a lot of different play rooms and a lot of different themes and it's really decorated well the lighting is is is dim but it's still bright enough in there to see i mean it's just a really nice club yeah but when we went on the tour the gentleman said in the first like a couple of sentences he talked about safety, security, consent, cleanliness, rules, you know, the etiquette of the club.

And he was a big guy, too. Yeah. So I don't think. I wouldn't have wanted to have broken one of his rules. No. But real welcoming. Just a really good club. So anyway, if you can't. Everybody that worked there was just so friendly and nice and yeah, it was incredible. Yeah. So if you're in the New England area, you need to put this club on your list. And, uh, anyway, some of the, some of the playrooms, they had the big, big orgy room, but then they had smaller playrooms and one of them was even set up. They had different themes and one of them was set up at a, as a classroom. Yeah.

It had like a teacher desk and a chalkboard. And it was cool Thank you. Thank you. Bye-bye.

had smaller playrooms and one of them was even set up they had different themes and one of them was set up at a as a classroom yeah it had like a teacher desk and a chalkboard and it was cool because the rule was if you close if the door was closed that means that whoever was in there didn't want you to look or join you join them but if you could leave the door open and then you could put a chain across the door and that meant you could observe but you couldn't come in right or you could leave the chain down and the door open which means you're welcoming company yeah so that that's pretty cool i like that chain idea yeah you know you could be an exhibitionist but you don't have to worry right and the other really nice thing about it is a lot of clubs have porn playing all over the place and they had a big screen and they had projected this was my favorite part yeah they had like a silhouette dancer on the screen there wasn't it wasn't a real dancer but it was a i think it was just a video it's like a video but it looked like i'm like on that celebrity cruise ship that we go on you know they they uh have an alcove and they actually pull a sheer curtain and they have like a live girl dancing behind that.

And it's really sexy and sensual. Well, that's how like one wall of the dance floor had that projected on it. And it was really classy and it was fun. And the dance floor, the music wasn't too loud. And it was really good music. It was good music. But we socialized. Our biggest problem was there were so many sexy people there, but then we had wanted to meet everybody and socialize with everybody. Right. And we didn't really save time for play. And we didn't really know what to expect.

And I think we, because they gave us like one section of the club kind of like reserved for us for our meet and greet. So if people wanted to meet us, they could know where we would be.

And i think there were probably like 30 or 40 couples total that we met that night yeah i was a little overwhelmed with the number of people that showed up so we ended up talking for a long time yes we did and we weren't we didn't manage to switch into like sexy let's get out on the dance floor mode until like midnight we made up for lost time on the dance floor we had some fun we didn't get to have sex and no we didn't i didn't realize it but he had he had given us a vip area but i didn't really understand that it was for our group he told us i know but i didn't i didn't pick up on that and so we had this whole area and i know we never took advantage of it no next time yeah by the time we finally got back there they blew the whistle yeah it's time to go and i couldn't believe it was two o'clock in the morning already yeah the night went by so fast and it was just it was so much fun there was a lot of dirty dancing going on there was there was a lot of kissing on the dance floor there was a more than kissing yeah where was.

Yeah. Maybe me too. So for everybody that we met, well, I thank you very much for coming. Thank you for introducing yourselves and just making the night so much fun. Yeah. And if you're ever in Providence, Rhode Island. Yeah, you have got to visit this club. Yeah. It's totally worth it. Yeah. So thanks to you all, and thanks especially to our good friends who hosted us. You guys are the best. Okay, so those San Diego people are on deck. I know who they are. I do, too. I know what setup is waiting for us out there. I think that's going to be just fine. Yeah, I think so.

That's why we're going there in February. Okay, so where are we going next week? Thank you. setup is waiting for us out there i think that's going to be just fine oh yeah i think so that's why we're going there in february okay so where are we going next week um well we're going to be on an airplane in one week to desire pearl yes the happiest place on earth for grown-ups yes us and 70 of our closest couple friends yep we're looking forward to that yep i'm drinking of my coconut martini right now in honor of some sexy friends in the hot tub. Right.

That's where I found my coconut martini last year. Right. And for all of you meeting us there, this podcast title, this podcast is for you. So when we get to the topic. That's right. We're going to explain more about. Get out your paper and pencil. Why this is strategic for all of you who are meeting us at Pearl. That's right. You better take some notes. Yeah. And if you weren't fortunate enough to get in before Pearl sold out this year, our 2019 dates again are November 16th through the 23rd. You can go to our website at wegotathing.com and click on the link to book your desire trip.

And as soon as you book it, you need to send us an email because Diet Desire has been screwing up again. But because we've got 20 couples that have booked already and they've all notified us and the few that weren't right, we were able to correct. Yes.

So thank you guys guys just be sure to do that and we have some news about the desire secret sale yes so last year there was a secret sale on a black friday the day after thanksgiving and we were initially told that they weren't going to do it again this year but they are i think it's a little bit different than last year um not quite as deep of a discount no and it it's kind of good and bad to it it's definitely a discount but um Thank you.

year um not quite as deep of a discount no and it it's got good and bad to it it's definitely a discount but um with the secret sale you have to book or you have to pay up front in full and it's non-refundable yeah so it doesn't really give you a lot of flexibility which you know it makes i know makes some people nervous especially if you have like kid arrangements to make and that kind of stuff um so that is coming up if you haven't booked yet and you are thinking about it Thank you.

I know it makes some people nervous, especially if you have like kid arrangements to make and that kind of stuff. So that is coming up if you haven't booked yet and you are thinking about it. Yeah, it is a little bit from the prices that we saw. It's a little bit less expensive than what their normal discounts are. So you just have to weigh whether or not it's worth it for you to to get that price to get a non-refundable and have to pay up front. Right. But you can book the secret sale through our website as well.

You just click through our link and, and once you click through our link, you go to their website. It's just our affiliate code is attached to it, but then everything else works the same. Correct. And for those of you, lastly, I think we're going to be in Las Vegas over Thanksgiving and we're going to have a little meetup out there on Saturday. Yeah, it's going to be pretty informal. We're not really going to do a lot of plotting and planning, but we're going to be there in town for Thanksgiving anyway, and we have some friends that are going to be there with us.

So we said, hey, let's just throw it out there and see. We've heard from three or four couples already that want to meet us. So if you're going to be in Vegas on November 24th, send us an email. We'll give you the details. That's right. No turkey. We'll all be sick of turkey by then. Yeah, most likely. All right. When we come back, we're going to explain this seven habits of highly successful swingers. And when you finish this lesson, you may never have to listen to another podcast again. Oh, brother. We'll be right back.

Welcome back to segment two of our podcast seven habits of highly successful swingers yes last year before our november desire trip we podcasted about the seven seven swinger seven sins of sexy swingers okay that kind of works yeah seven sins of sexy swingers yeah and i think what happened was we like petrified people they got there and they were afraid they were going to commit these sins and everybody socialized but not too many people played i think i committed more of the sins than most people so this year we're going to talk about highly, habits highly successful swingers so once we go through these uh habits you're going to be very successful at pearl next week and in any event in the lifestyle can we can we stop for a second and give mr stephen covey hit the kudos he oh yeah definitely deserves yeah yes so clearly we are springing off of Stephen Covey's seven habits of highly effective people.

Um, I know many of you have at least heard of these seven habits. Um, I know many of us have read the books in our professional lives. I know I did a book study on it when the book first came out forever ago. And he has done some derivatives of this book. I know he did Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens. So we're just doing another derivative. Okay. I'm sure he won't mind. I hope not. Highly Successful Swingers. We'll have a link to his book in our show notes.

And then we tried to figure out how to like redo his seven habits to, you know, make them like, you know, fun and swingerish or whatever. And we couldn't. I mean, what he has is totally relatable to your lifestyle life. Yeah. And we put this out on our our private community and pretty much everybody nailed it yeah from the from the ideas of the good habits that we got from folks there we integrated all of that into the outline that mr covey produced right i mean everything fit perfectly, actually. It was pretty amazing. Yeah. So these are actually the habits that he says in his book.

We're just going to give you a little bit of a different slant on them. Well, just a different way to think about them. Right. Yeah. Okay. Number one. Be proactive. So basically, this habit can be described in a nutshell as, if you think about it, change starts from within, and highly effective people actually make the decision to improve their lives through the things that they can influence, rather than by simply reacting to those external forces in their lives. Right.

So those of us who have chosen to be in the lifestyle have made the decision to improve our lives and do things the way that we think it works for us rather than being influenced by what others think. So if you think about external forces in this regard, people say that what we're doing is wrong. Some know, some people say it's a sin. Some people say that you're cheating on your spouse. I mean, we could just downward spiral into all kinds of negative connotations that, you know, pertain to the swinging lifestyle. So those, we're not going to react to those external forces.

We're just going to think about things that we can control. And that's going to help us make a proactive decision. Right. And not only does it have to be proactive individually, as Mr. Covey is suggesting, but as a couple, you have to be proactive and grow as a couple. I mean, it's a lot of work. And if both of you work together and put in the effort, that's when you're going to see the biggest return or the best results. Right. I mean, you have that desire. I mean, obviously you have the desire to be together as a couple.

So, you know, work together and put your energy together to keep growing and make that conscious decision. Now, that conscious decision might just be to have a spicier sex life. Yeah. And maybe you listen to crazy podcasts as just kind of like pillow talk or foreplay or whatever. Or maybe you're learning to actually go out and interact with other people. Yeah. And, you know, I want to give some credit to our friends, Page and Pen, here. Okay.

You know, this reacting to external forces, their latest podcast, they talk about, and we've gotten some comments like this, too, where people make the kind of the comment that, you know, you guys, it seems so easy. You make it sound easy. Or we don't talk about the bad stuff. You don't talk about the bad stuff.

And, you know you guys it seems so easy you make it sound easy and or we don't talk you don't talk about the bad stuff and and you know it's not that we don't make mistakes and have bad experiences and page and pen talked about this too it's just that you and i are very proactive and we we can only control what we can control that's ourselves and if there's a bad experience or something doesn't go well, we're still going to have fun. And we're still going to enjoy the evening, maybe not as much as we would have.

But I think some people allow other people's behavior if there's something that doesn't go well, or if somebody doesn't approach you, or somebody doesn't make that first move, people have a negative reaction to that, like they've been wronged. But to be proactive means you just take control of that. Yeah. You know, another thing I think when I think of being proactive is I think about, you know, putting forth some effort. And I mean, like, you know, not all of us look like Barbie and Ken.

I don't know why we always say that because barbie and ken look kind of weird i know but you know make some effort to present your best self well i have this hair that grows out of the middle of the top of my nose he does like seriously like if you ever get to meet mr jones in person check it out oh yeah thanks and you say it's like right at the bridge of your nose and you say don't you ever get to meet Mr. Jones in person, check it out. Oh, yeah, thanks. It's like right at the bridge of your nose. And you say, don't you ever look in the mirror?

And you don't even have a unibrow, but for some reason this hair just kind of like grows right out of the top of the bridge of your nose. Yeah. So, yeah, you got to look at that kind of stuff and like take care of it. Yeah, so put your best self forward is what you're saying. That's right. So the grooming and the attire. Yeah, so, like, aren't you glad I buy you clothes and I make you wear these nice clothes? Yeah. Because we have really good friends, and she gives him a hard time all the time, and he'll get frustrated with her, and what does she say?

She says, honey, if you want to get laid listen to me and then what does he do he's like yeah all right he's like he's a smart man that's right and so i go get the tweezers and i plug the hair out of my nose exactly and then another thing about effort is like being on time and i am never an early person i was gonna say i know. I know. I'm preaching to the choir. No, I need to listen to myself, right? Yeah. So I am not an early person, but I'm not painfully late. Okay. But yes, putting forth effort, being on time.

I mean, you hear people talk about lifestyle dates where the people will be like 45 minutes late or an hour late that's crazy right i mean yeah if you're stuck in a traffic jam or if your babysitter didn't show up clearly you have an issue but you know if you communicate that to the other couple yeah well speaking of communication just yeah communicate and communicate often and follow through with You know, be proactive, again, with your communication. Even if you're not the one who initiated it, you know, just be aware and be proactive.

You know, don't, and when it comes to, you know, whether you're in the room or outside the bedroom, don't wait for someone else necessarily to make that first move. If you, if there's a couple and you're interested, it doesn't have to mean that your first move is to take them to bed. True. You know, just approach them and talk to them, be proactive, take that first step. I think that was a part of the problem with desire last year. What? People were afraid to make that first move. No, I think people made the first move. They were afraid to make the second move. Oh.

Which is really the important move. Well, that's true. Okay. Number two. Begin with the end in mind. Yes. So what does this mean for swingers? Well, I think for a swinger, you'd have to begin with the end in mind. What do you want out of this relationship with this couple that you're interested in? What do you want out of the meet and greet that you're getting ready to go to? What do you want out of the club experience that you're going to go to this weekend?

And it can be a different target or a different mission every time yeah because you you can go to um i was listening to another podcast i can't remember who it was and they said we oh it was our a brand new podcast by the way uh torrid souls with our friends uh torrid soul and they talked about the first couple of times they went to a club and they said our goal was to just play with each other so that way you're not going to be disappointed because you've stated your goal it's just going to be to play with each other so no matter what happens at the club that's your goal yeah and and maybe one night you're gonna have a different goal maybe it's gonna say hey tonight let's try to meet somebody we don't know and see if we can play with them.

You know, maybe that's your goal. Yep. So as long as you know what that end is, keep that in mind before you start. Right. Now how does that, so that's like, you know, what's your goal? Like when you're interacting with other people or going to an event. But what about, begin with the end in mind. So think about people that are like new to the lifestyle, you know, as a couple, as they're thinking about, okay, I'm supposed to begin with the end in mind. Well, isn't the end in mind to have sex with other people, you know?

So I think as a couple that are pondering, entering the lifestyle, um, what they need to consider is, you know, what's your, why, why are you doing this? Why are you getting entering the lifestyle what they need to consider is you know what's your why why are you doing this why are you getting into the lifestyle right and what are your rules and boundaries i mean why are you doing this and what are your boundaries and where are you going right and if you talk about that up front then you can kind of just go with the flow with whatever happens you've got that safety net there Right.

I mean, rules and boundaries are kind of like your guardrails, you know, once you figure out where those guardrails are, then, you know, that gives you each permission to kind of ponder, consider that, that end game, you know, begin with the end in mind. Well, what is, what, what could the end possibly be? Right. And if that end is to play with another couple, then at some point in time, guess what? You have to transition. Yeah. You have to make that second step. Yeah. So, I mean, someone's got to take the first step, and that's probably the most difficult thing, especially for newbies, to do.

Yeah. I mean, it's hard for us to do sometimes, too. For some reason, it's just like that first move. It's like, I've got to do it. And it's just really hard to make it happen. But I guess the point here is, if you go out for an evening, let's say it's a couple that you've been with before and you haven't played with yet, but you're going to play with them. And if you don't say, hey, we'd really like to play with them tonight. This is our goal. It's possible that you could just end up talking all night. Yeah. Because you haven't really talked about what your end game is. Right.

But if you've talked about it and you know that you you want to play then one of the two of you is going to have to make that first move yeah if you don't have that as a goal that's what happens to a lot of people and then the next morning they think ah we should have done this or we should have done that well was that what your goal was when you went into it did you check the membership chat before we sat down tonight like in our membership community because that's exactly what was being talked about tonight like one of the couples said that they're having a couple over for a first date um this weekend and they the last time they did it it was a it was kind of a fail because they ended up socializing so much all night they had dinner and then after a fail because they ended up socializing so much all night they had dinner and then after dinner they just kept talking and socializing and and stuff and they never played yes so they the husband said tonight that his wife suggested when they have this couple over this weekend it's a different couple but when they have this couple over this weekend she wants to play first and then make dinner yeah that's brilliant i know I'll see you next time.

over this weekend it's a different couple but when they have this couple over this weekend she wants to play first and then make dinner yeah that's brilliant i know that's a really good idea because you know that anxiety it's there yeah it's just an undercurrent so maybe you should just like get it off the table and get it over with and then you could just like relax and have a really fun dinner and and you know i don't think that way i'm i'm more of a traditionalist i think sex is after everything that's just how i think but we had friends over not too long ago this spring and they got here and we hadn't seen them in a long time and she said can we go down and play now because it was like two hours before dinner and i thought i guess we could it's my.

Your mind was a little blown. Yeah, we could do that. So we did. And then we had dinner and relaxed. And then fortunately, we ended up coming back down and playing again. But that was just a bonus. Yeah, so begin with the end in mind. Okay, number three, put first things first. What does that mean? It's all about priorities i think i think this one's huge yes um to me the first thing i i can be a real mama bear when it comes to our relationship and you know i think i'm the one that came up with that we are beholden to no one um Prioritize your relationship above all others.

I think that's sexy. Thank you. I like it when you're like that. I know. My claws do come out sometimes. Well, not your claws. No. No, we rarely have situations where I would feel uncomfortable that I would need to bring out my so-called claws, but I am very productive of my relationship. Yeah. So can you think of a time when you did that? Oh, yes. Oh, yeah? What was going on? Well, there's been a couple times.

And there was this one time where we were with a couple that as we got into the evening, there was an imbalance in their relationship relationship and it became more and more apparent the more we talked and then when we got into the bedroom it became painfully apparent and um she was she was much more interested in the sexual part of the evening than he was oh and and it kind of it made me mad for two reasons. First of all, she was hurting her husband, and that was obvious to me. And second of all, I don't know, I didn't like her all over you like that.

And when I wasn't having the same experience, it wasn't because I felt left out, it's just because I felt like, I don't know. There she it was a disconnection there was a disconnect because he she didn't look over to see how he was doing yeah right and i just yeah i didn't appreciate that yeah so staying connected as a couple um again we've been preaching this for a long time as a matter of fact i i'm the one who's become disconnected every once in a while. You do get involved in what you're doing sometimes.

Well, yeah, that's why it's good to talk about this before you get into that situation. Yeah. And then, you know, the other thing is, okay, so sometimes you get a little involved in what you're doing and we get temporarily disconnected. Well, that's all solved through a good debrief the next day. Or two days later. Or that night. Well, you know, I do better the next day. I just need a little, you know, Catherine said, you know, when your lid flips, sometimes you just need some time.

You know, you can't always fix it right when your lid flips sometimes you just need some time right you know you can't always fix it right when your lid flips right so i i need a little bit of time and i rarely get angry i i need time to kind of figure out why i'm feeling unsettled i for some reason that doesn't always become instantly obvious to me. So, yeah, but we do debrief and then we get to reconnect, which is the best part. You know, this is probably not appropriate to do here. It should be used as a snapshot.

But we had some reconnection sex last weekend oh are we going there now well it's not my snapshot is it yours no it's not my snapshot okay we we had a an evening for two yep last weekend and it was awesome we had a beer while you were cooking dinner. Yeah. And then we had a bottle of wine with dinner. Yep. And then you made that some sort of a gin drink that we've never had before. What was that drink? It's going to be in the newsletter coming up. It's called the Delilah. And it was gin and lemon juice and what else? I think, I don't know. There wasn't much else with it.

And then I just remember there was. Oh, Cointreau. That's right. And then there were like the nice Luxardo maraschino cherries. You put one of those in the bottom of the glass with like a teaspoon of the cherry juice. Anyway, it was so good. It was amazing. That we had two of them. Yeah. And then we came downstairs and you said you wanted me on the massage table. I remember that. Well, yeah, you do now, but the next morning you didn't. So I got on the massage table and you gave me a massage. And the next thing I know, you wanted me in you.

So instead of you getting up on the massage table, I got up and bent you over the side of the massage table. Yeah, we were going to town. We were going to town. So much so that I think you even said, slap my ass. I don't remember that part. And I don't think you've ever told me that before. That was the first clue that you had been drinking a little bit too much. Maybe so. Yeah. So I did. And then we kept going. And then I was pounding you pretty hard. And then all of a sudden. There was this big crack. Crack. I remember that. Yeah. Yeah. So we broke the massage table.

And it's because I was leaning over the side of it. So I didn't really move. I was standing on the side giving you a massage. And then when you got down, I was still so. We were rocking the massage table back and forth sideways. Yeah, it was twerking the cross beam. Yeah. Yeah. But it didn't fall, so we kept going.

it was torque in the cross beam yeah yeah which but it didn't fall so we kept going it was just a little wobbly i said what was that and you said we broke the table and i was like oh you didn't even like break stride it didn't fall anyway that was that was some reconnection sex because we last weekend, we never reconnected after last weekend. I know. After the meet and greet. I know. Yeah. So I hope that that's putting first things first. Yes. It was a good example. Glad I remembered that. Number four. Think win-win. Okay. Seek agreements and relationships that are mutually beneficial.

sentence was made for the lifestyle it was seek agreements and relationships that are mutually beneficial yeah so what does that mean that's that that's like um developing a common goal for the group i mean it's talking about you know play styles andies, like just talking about what you want to do before you do it. But I think it's bigger than that. You know what it is? It's unselfishness. True. Yeah.

Because if you, if you're, if you're talking about being mutually beneficial, everybody has to get something out of it so there are three other people besides you so there's you know three people that you need to listen to and and agree with seek agreement with what what's going to happen here yep yeah so discussing play styles and and even a fun way to do that is talk about fantasies yeah that's always fun yeah you learn a lot about people I mean it's amazing the thing isn't it funny like people that you haven't known very long at all i mean sometimes you've only known these people for hours or maybe days and the things that you'll share with them in lifestyle situations yes it's crazy it is i mean i do it and do it.

Yeah. It's something. Another part of this unselfishness is also being flexible. So to be able to pivot and roll with things that don't go as you would like them to go, or as you would plan them to be. Right. And that came from one of our MeWe group members. Yes.

I i really like that being able to pivot and roll with it when things don't go as planned right it comes back to being unselfish yeah because you can't always get your way so if something changes you know to go with the flow and just enjoy enjoy yourselves well you know if you have the ability to do that you're're still going to have fun. It's when you can't do that. Yeah. You know, you get that hard stop and then everybody's kind of... Or a soft stop. Well, ha ha. But then everybody's like, okay, well, I guess this is over.

It gets a little awkward when somebody doesn't want to give in and go with the flow. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Number five, seek first to understand, then to be understood. Yes. What does that mean? Well, I like the fact that this is where you're striving to find that four-way connection, I think. And, you know, so there's a four-way connection, but I guess first and foremost, I should back up and say, you know, this is about the connection between the couple.

You know, if you're trying to understand your partner's desires and motivations for wanting to be in the lifestyle and they're, you know, and then you're hoping that they're going to understand what you're telling them about yourself, you know, that, that's, that's a lot of vulnerability right there. Yeah. So, and putting yourself in their situation. So empathy and vulnerability, you know, I've got to stop and think about you. I've got to think about the other person. What, what do they want when I put my mind in that perspective, it changes the way that I act.

I start thinking about them more than I'm thinking about myself. So understanding the person. And we were with a couple not too long ago, and I was going down on her. And usually I'm pretty good at sensing what people like and don't like. And then she sat up and she said, while you're doing that, could you put your finger in me? And I said, oh, definitely. So, you know, understanding what she likes and understanding that all people are different. I know.

And it's not not like you have this and maybe this is a guy thing maybe you think you have this technique that drives your wife crazy therefore it's going to drive every woman crazy and so that's what you do but if you stop and you understand that you know there's different shapes and sizes and people are wired differently and and it's funny how women are different. I mean, I noticed that with some women, when they have an orgasm, you can't hear a thing, unlike Mrs. Jones, when she has one. Thank you, honey. Well, at least you know I've had one. I don't know. Sorry. That's okay.

I can be a little loud, yeah. No, but I think that just if you have, if you are truly striving to understand what it is that other people are wanting out of the experience, what their motivation is, and understanding the reason behind if they're reticent because they're new or because they have low self-esteem and you're just trying to figure all that out and help them have the best experience possible, you know, what's going to happen, it's going to end up making the experience better for you. Yeah, definitely.

We were at the, um, we were at the meet and greet and i was speaking with another couple and he got up and you you were you were across the room and he got up and left his wife with me and went over and started talking with you and his wife said oh my gosh he's never done that before he's never never left me. And she said, but I know why he did that because he can tell how close you are with your, with Mrs. Jones and how much you love each other and he feels safe. So it's that, you know, respecting your relationship and the relationship of others.

I mean, you know, that's one of the highest compliments somebody could give me. I mean, they, they trust me because they see how strong my connection is to you. Right. That's to me, that's the ultimate compliment. Yeah.

And when somebody, when he got up and walked away and she told me that, then I'm going to definitely be on my best behavior because I've earned his trust and I'm not going to do anything stupid, you know, to that or to disrespect that yeah so compassion and and empathy and respect all has to do with trying to understand somebody else before trying to get them to understand you yeah okay that was five okay number six i love all right you take this one number six, I love. All right, you take this one. Synergize. I love that whole idea of synergy because I totally believe in it.

You know, you get a group of like-minded people together in a room, no matter what, of course, we're thinking lifestyle right now, but you get a group of coworkers together, a group of volunteers together, a group of any people working on the same tasks together Thank you. Of course, we're thinking lifestyle right now, but you get a group of coworkers together, a group of volunteers together, a group of any people like working on the same tasks together. And there's going to be this amazing synergy, that mutual energy that just feeds off of each other. So number six is about synergizing.

Right. And we talk about a four-way connection. You know how we've talked about that that's hard to explain, especially if you're new and you've never done this before. But the way that Mr. Covey defines it is find ways to leverage individual differences to create a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts. I love that. Yeah. So four people having sex on the same bed next to each other, all of the emotion, all of the energy, um, the freedom, the trust, everything else that we've talked about, it's contagious.

And that the feeling and the emotion and the energy in the room just goes to a level of, some place that you don't necessarily experience all the time with two people right and it's hard to explain it's definitely hard to explain but you know i know i think another thing that comes into play with this whole idea of synergy um is the idea of compers You know, when you have all this like energy feeding off of each other and you, and you're like in that groove and you've got that connection just to be able to kind of like lift your head up and look at your partner and seeing your partner, like giving and receiving pleasure with someone else or to someone else, um, that, that brings joy.

Right. If you're, if you're really in that moment and have that connection with other people, um, compersion is a pretty amazing thing when you can experience it authentically. When you, when you love somebody so much and you see them like that and you know that they're experiencing pleasure, just the fact that they're experiencing that pleasure gives you joy. And that's the compersion part of it. And I think also back to the, you know, being able to be in this comfort zone so that the synergy can occur.

It's clear communication to establish to establish you know like a comfortable level of play that's going to work for everyone that's true you know so being able to go to that lowest common denominator and be cool with that and have fun because if one person is uncomfortable this synergize that the synergy is not going to happen because it's funny when one person is out of sorts then usually the person that they're playing with becomes out of sorts and then that person's partner and then that person's partner looks over and it gets out of sorts and it may take a while for that to crumble right and so if you start at the right level and move at the right pace and the pace of that person who is the slowest, then that's where you have the opportunity to have this synergy, no matter what kind of play style it is.

And that it's like, you know, people talk about a runner's high and some people think that's BS. Oh, it's so not. No, it's. Yeah. But you have to experience it before you really understand words. Again, a lot of this is hard for people to understand unless you've experienced it. Yeah, that's true. So why not experience it? I know. Give it a go. Okay, last one. Sharpen the saw. Okay, what does this mean? You know, if you just, okay, sharpen the saw, what the heck?

You know, most of the other ones you can kind of at least figure out a little bit what it's about well the analogy that comes to mind is that in order to sharpen your saw you can't be sawing you you have to take your saw away from the tree and you have to sit down and you have to get the file and the oil and the rag, and you have to sharpen it. So you've disconnected from cutting in order to sharpen your saw. So if you don't do that, you're not going to be as effective cutting down the trees because you let yourself, your blade get dull. Well, thank you for that.

obviously, I don't saw down trees. Yeah. But it really, it comes back to what I think you were about to say about balance. Right. So you can't saw down a tree while you're sharpening your saw. So you can't let the lifestyle take over your life. I mean, I guess that's the thing that i think of is um you you've got to keep a balance among the various dimensions of your life you've got your work life you've got your family life you've got your home life you've got your hobby life and you've got your swinging life well it's not just lifestyle there lifestyle. There are people who work too much.

Yeah. There are people who swing too much. Yeah. There are people who exercise too much. Whatever it is that you're doing too much, and too much you have to define yourself and in your relationship because that could vary depending on the couple or the individual. So it's not necessarily the lifestyle it's keeping every aspect of your life in balance right so that when you do have a chance to engage in the lifestyle you're solid sharp you know you've you're you know you you've got it as a hobby you're gonna go do it you're gonna have fun but it's in its place you're controlling controlling it.

It's not controlling you. Right. Just like, um, it being like an addiction, it could be. Yeah. You know, one thing that we we've said before is the lifestyle is a powerful drug. I mean, it, it can be addictive. You know, when you have these people telling you that you're sexy and you're beautiful and you're handsome and you know, whatever. And, and, you know, people are paying attention to you and they're flirting with you. And, and it's just like, oh my gosh, you know, I'm not a spring chicken anymore. And these people still think I'm attractive and that I'm interesting.

And, and that's, that's very, you can be seduced right into that. I want, I want more and more and more of it. Yeah, and it's probably a good time for us to say, you listen to us talk about primarily the lifestyle for 90 minutes. Yeah. And so when you listen to the Joneses, you hear us talking about the lifestyle.

And we've been contacted by some people who have this fear that we're addicted to the lifestyle yes but what you all don't know is sunday night we had dinner with our family last night last night we took our grandkids trick-or-treating yep um two weekends ago we had good friends who had a birthday party vanilla friends that we went to that and we in that you've got clients you're dealing with all day my business is picking up yeah you know we're we're cutting the grass we're pressure cleaning the patio we're getting the carpets clean we're we're doing all of these things in life but we don't often talk about all of that stuff on the podcast so for the listener this is boring it's stuff we It's stuff we all do.

It may sound like that this is all that we do. Or that, oh my gosh, we could never do as much as they do. So we are very aware. And you're especially good at making sure that we don't get over committed to things. Yeah. We got to keep it real. Yeah.

So keep it fresh it fresh you know and the other thing is that if you engage in the lifestyle the same way all the time it can it can get a little bit boring like if all you do is go to the same club week after week after week i think that that's really a danger for people that do have um clubs nearby that they go to often and i mean gosh if you live in providence i don't blame you i go to that club all the time too but um you know it if you're going to the same venue and and hanging out the same people all the time you're not meeting new people i i imagine that could um it could get stale and and then you know are you is it still allowing you to grow as a couple?

You know, Catherine says the lifestyle is where you go to grow. So I think to keep it as a tool for you to keep experiencing that growth as a couple, you've got to keep mixing it up a little bit. Yeah, definitely. Well said. so number one was be proactive number two begin with the end in mind three put put first things first number four think win-win number five seek first to understand then to be understood number six synergize number seven sharpen the saw so what the saw. So what does this all mean? What are we saying? Well, so these are habits, right? Right.

And habits are basically consist of three things, knowledge, skill, and desire. So the way I look at it is if you have the desire to do something, then you can find resources to obtain knowledge to figure out how to do it right yeah and then finally then it's up to you to actually develop those skills to to be effective at that particular habit you know so if we're talking about being a swinger you know if you guys have the desire to explore the lifestyle, you can find resources to learn about the lifestyle through our podcast and other podcasts and all kinds of things out there.

And then it's up to you guys as couples to work on developing those skills. Let's make this clear. What? Yeah, I like what you just said. Am I sounding like a professor? No, let's just make it clear. Usually first comes the desire. Yeah. You want to be a swinger. Next, my goodness, you've listened to 56 episodes of our podcast. I know. And all the other podcasts. And all the other podcasts out there. So you have the knowledge. So people keep asking, you know, how do I do this?

How should I do how should i do this why should oh i know where you're going you know what you just gotta do it get out of the boat get out of the boat you've got to take the first step which is tying it all back to what i said about desire when we're in the hot tub when when we're at the club when we're at naughty Naughty in New Orleans, when we're socializing, you're not going to be able to refine this skill until you actually do something about it. And who is the only person that has the ability to do that? You. You. Yeah. As a couple and as an individual. So that's what this is all about.

You've got to be proactive. You've got to take that first step. Practice. Yeah. And just like anything else you do for the first time, do you think you're going to be great at it? No. Do you think you might have beginner's luck? Oh, hopefully. Maybe the first time. But do you think you're going to make mistakes? Well, we all do. Yeah.

That's all a part of developing the skill though right right and you know you still just because you uh get through like the first couple experiences or the first year the first two years you're still going to make mistakes right hey you know what what we didn't even like like sound the trumpets i know, it's our swing-aversary. Yeah, so next week at Desire is going to be our fifth swing-aversary. And you know what else this is? Yes, it's our fourth year podcasting. It's our podcast-aversary. Yeah. Man, the trumpets should be blaring.

Yeah, I'm going to even go out on a limb here and say that, you know what, if you need to practice on somebody, see us in the hot tub next week that's right we'll be your victims yeah so and if you do this i mean all kidding aside yes you're gonna have sexy fun with other people but remember that this is a lot of things come along with this individual growth which you know we didn't realize when we first got into it no i have learned so much about myself in the past five years right and i continue to learn things about myself right so of these four things that we're winding up here are five maybe one of them sexy playtime is really what gets people in that that's what they think this lifestyle is about right yeah and certainly being a successful swimmer can result in sexy playtime is really what gets people in that that's what they think this lifestyle is about right yeah and certainly being a successful swinger can result in sexy playtime definitely yeah but the individual growth as we just mentioned and the deeper relationship with your partner that is definitely a gift yeah yeah an unexpected gift and again i don't know how many people have emailed us about that but I can't put in writing I can An unexpected gift.

And again, I don't know how many people have emailed us about that, but I can't put in writing. I can tell you that it can deepen your relationship. And again, it's not having sex with other people that deepens your relationship. No. It's experiencing it together and communicating about it and setting up those guardrails to protect your relationship. That's what deepens your relationship. Yes. And then, of course, there's new, like, real friendships. Deep, sexy friends and friendships that are just unexpected that come out of this. Yep. And, of course, there's the sex and the playtime.

But that sex is fun. Fun sex.

That fun fun sex not that our sex isn't fun but it's just i think we had a lot of fun breaking that table last week yeah we did cheers okay so no like i said this should be the last podcast you ever have to listen to because now you're now you've got the desire and now you've got the knowledge and now you're going to go do this and you're going to have the skill and we're going to wonder why they'll practice on us yeah that's right and we're going to wonder why we have zero downloads after this episode because that's all all right so are we just signing off no i think when, let's talk some snapshots before we leave Oh, okay Welcome back to Snapshots So, who gets to go first?

Well, do you want to go first? Get that grin on your face. Well, a few weeks ago, we have friends that live somewhat close. I mean, we can drive to each other's houses. And it was going to be his birthday weekend. And they're kind of sort of new to the lifestyle. So when he said that his birthday was coming up, I'm like, well, oh my gosh, we've got to get together because like, you've got to get your birthday double blow job. And he was like, what? The look on his face was priceless. And I was just like, matter of fact, I'm like, well, yeah, you're like a swinger.

And that's what swingers do on their birthday. They get double blowjobs. It was like somebody said, you can have two pieces of cake. What? I can have two pieces of cake? Hey, it's my birthday.

So sure enough, their calendar opened right up we we went up to their house and we walked it was a gorgeous night remember yeah it's in the fall and we walked to dinner had a super fun dinner walked back to their house and um i think we might have had we might have made a drink and you know it's funny the the last time we were at their house it was a really hard time to transition it wasn't i didn't think it was that hard well it took a while it wasn't really awkward because we get along really well but it's just like nobody could quite pull the trigger where the clothes would come off and it just took a little bit of effort this time we walked back to the house I do think we had a drink maybe and the next thing we knew we were just like oh let's just all go upstairs and we all took our clothes off and just started playing it was so much fun yeah so yeah so we uh we gave him his double blow job yeah think he, that might have been his best birthday ever.

Well, probably. But then you know what? You know, speaking of like taking breaks and like trying to get the whole evening to flow right. So remember we played for a long time and then we all decided we were thirsty and I thought we were just going to stop and like drink some water. And somebody said, do you want to go downstairs and make another drink? And we were like, okay. So remember, we all went downstairs. I think you guys might have put your underwear on or maybe your jeans. I don't know. And she had a little tiny robe for me to put on. And she put one on, too. And we went down.

And I think we sat downstairs for like an hour drinking and talking yeah and at one point i thought oh we're probably not going to make it back upstairs because we were just we weren't even talking about like sexy stuff after a while we were just talking about i don't know life and then all of a sudden somebody said i think we should go back upstairs and everybody was like oh yes who said it do you even remember no no so but we went back upstairs and and we played some more and it was crazy so your snapshot is what his his double blow job yeah actually my snapshot was like two weeks before that when I said well it's gonna be your birthday You need to have a birthday double blowjob.

Yeah. It was a fun evening for sure. Well, my snapshot, we had some of our lifestyle besties in town this past weekend. Yeah. And we went up to Washington, D.C., and we all ended up staying in a hotel together.

and mean we've been together a lot quite a few times with them and it's just one of those friendships that it's natural and we just connect with each other and everybody has fun and there's no pressure at all so she and I started having sex eventually we didn't start there but we eventually got there and i was getting into it uh pretty hard and she was enjoying it and she kept getting louder she kept getting louder and of course that just fuels me when when i hear a woman start to make noise and then she'll say something oh she wasn't just making noise she was talking yeah she was talking what did she say oh i don't even she said something like i just like to get fucked yeah you know and then she was she was hilarious yeah and and so i was doing my best to give it to her and she got louder and she got and louder.

And then all of a sudden, this pillow comes out of nowhere over her face and her husband. And then we kind of broke out of our trance and she said, oh, what, what? And she said, am I being too loud? And he said, next door neighbors are going to be over here knocking on the door. It kind of ruined the mood for a minute. Well, he and I were having a hard time focusing on each other because she was so loud. So, I mean, he and I were laughing because she was hilarious. I mean, she was so into it. So he and I were having sex, too. And he and I were facing each other at that point.

I think I was, like, laying on the edge of the bed, and he was standing up on the edge of the bed. And he just kept shaking his head. It was so funny. So it was distracting. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, I just remember this pillow coming out of nowhere. Well, do you remember what happened after that?

Then she ended up up so i'm laying on my back with my legs hanging over the edge of the bed and he was standing up and he was fucking me like that yeah so then somehow she ended up with her like the trunk of her body was over me i was doing her doggy style okay so she was on top of you so then her her boobs were like over the top of my face but then you must have really been giving her a good time because then she ended up like laying over top of me and she was smothering me like literally her boobs were that was my fault there was no oxygen going in my face because you know what i did what i leaned over her back because i was starting to finish and when i do that just like when we were at the beach and you said i was banging my head on your back i kind of lean my so my body weight went up all the way up higher on her center of gravity and that caused her so i really okay i really smothered you with her boob because then her husband was like honey honey she can't breathe yeah we weren't oh oh you know what oh so there was another time when when uh earlier in the evening she and i were on the bed and you were on the footstool the um the uh what took the ottoman and i looked up and the ott wasn't large enough.

You're like, your torso is on the admin or the, uh, Ottoman, but you're, there was nothing supporting your head. My shoulders and my head were like hanging over the edge of it. And, and so when I looked up and, and she was giving me a blowjob at that point in time. And I looked up and I saw that you were like holding your own neck up when he was going down on you and you were on the ottoman. And for a brief instant, I thought, oh, we should make room for them because that looks uncomfortable. But then I looked down and she was giving me a blowjob and I said, I'm not gonna interrupt her.

And it looked like your core work was working out for you. Yeah, it's a good thing I do core work because Because I wasn't going to stop him, that's for sure. There was a whole lot of snapshots that night. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. That was so much fun. It was fun. Okay. Well, I think we should probably wrap up 56 by saying that our membership continues to grow. It does. We are having so much fun in there. And we're stealing so many of their ideas to put in our podcast. So thank you guys. Yeah, thanks a lot for that. But that's the beauty of it.

I mean, it kind of goes back to that whole synergy thing. We're all putting our ideas and our thoughts together to really help each other along the way. Yeah, and we've got six or eight mini-courses out now, so be sure, and they're really inexpensive, so if you want a topical thing, we have mini-courses on our website, and of course we have our Complete Navigating Your Lifestyle Journey, A to Z, Swinging 101 course.

And before we we close i think we should give a special shout out to our friends jay and angie oh number 100 swingers they just released episode 100 and when you and i first started our podcast since it's our podcast diversary four years ago I think there were six active lifestyle podcasts at that time, and Average Swingers was one of them. So congratulations to Jay and Angie because— Yep, they've been good mentors, good friends. They have an amazing relationship, and they're just great people.

And for them to still be going strong after 100 episodes is's um inspirational and we just want to say congratulations you guys and well well done and and we're happy that you're still out there plugging away that's right so you can join us on cassidy if you want to try cassidy for 90 days for free go to our website and sign up through our link and um stc as well. STC as well. Yep. You can email us. I'm at MrJones, M-R-J-O-N-E-S, at WeGotAThing, W-E-G-O-T-T-A-T-H-I-N-G.com, or... Me with the email address of MrsJones at WeGotAThing.com. We have our website, WeGotAThing.com, and Twitter.

You can follow us at wegotathing. And we're now on Facebook at wegotathing. And we're on Instagram. Yeah, with all the kids. Yeah, I know. Wegotathing. I don't really understand it, but yeah, we're on it. And lastly, you can find Mrs. Jones's drink recipes on... Pinterest. Pinterest. Go figure. I can't believe how many website referrals we're getting from Pinterest. I know, that's crazy. Yeah, so we're on some more social media now. We're getting some help managing that. But there's no reason why you can't find us. And we appreciate the emails.

We appreciate everybody connecting with with us and that's where we get a lot of our great ideas for for podcasts so please keep them coming yep and to the 70 couples going to desire with us see you in a few days that's right or a few days by the time this thing comes out so thanks for listening we are mr and mrs. Jones and we got a thing what's your thing We'll see you next time. Is that your outtake? Holy crap, that's a lot of scotch. You planning on talking for a while? There we go. I'm ready.