Episode 51: Awkward Lifestyle Encounters

Transcript

This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us? Hello, everyone. I'm Mr. Jones.

And I'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 51 of the we got a thing podcast episode 51 feels like the first time awkward lifestyle encounters right so we're going to try to make this as unawkward as possible but yeah awkwardness happens in the lifestyle for sure speaking of awkward we are podcasting if you can't tell by our voices early in the morning and we're drinking coffee instead of cocktails i know somebody i don't know if it was like in our in our mewe group or our kit group said something about you know he he's envisioning mrs jones like being all sexy when we record it i'm like oh i have running clothes on my hair's in a ponytail and i have no makeup on i don't know i think that's sexy yeah so normally not our normal podcast attire so hopefully we can work through this awkwardness as we talk about eventually being awkward but in the meantime um you know we're leaving for this time next week we'll be at pearl so the suitcases are out yeah it's official we're going yeah yeah once the suitcases are in the guest room yeah and a special hello to all of you who are meeting us down there those in our kick group and and even those who out or outside the kick group that couldn't make it in we're looking forward to seeing you at pearl yeah you know i think um for our november trip we're switching to me we aren't we we are and trying to avoid kick because the problem with the kick groups is that they have a max of what 50 users yes yeah yeah so if you don't understand what mrs jones is talking about when she says me we group um in our private we gotta think community we have a private chat group and we are using the application me we to do that and it gives us a whole lot more flexibility so we're going to use that in nove November because it allows you to do so much more with pictures and files and preserving conversations and just much easier to use.

And there's no limit to the number of people that can join a group. So, yes, we're looking forward to kind of switching. I think it's going to work better. Yeah. So keeping up with the Joneses. Wow, we've been busy. We have been busy. We went through a stretch last winter where we were just kind of laying low i know i heard um i heard adam from the spiritual swingers comment that everyone swingers are coming out of hibernation yeah i think that's really what's going on well funny you should you should mention them. Yes.

So Adam and Eve from Spiritual Swingers are coming with us in June, and they are helping us co-host our week next week. So, of course, we had to get together for a planning meeting. Oh, you did the air quotes with the planning. I did. Yeah, they drove a long way to spend the weekend with us here. And we did some planning. But you know, I think it was the end of the weekend when we said, oh, crap, this is the reason we got together was to do this planning. And we haven't done a lot of it. So we should sit down and do that. We were in the car driving home from I think we were up in DC.

Well, we gave them a tour of DC in a monsoon. Yes, it was pouring down rain. Yeah. Like our Thank you. driving home from, I think we were up in D.C. or something. Well, we gave them a tour of D.C. in a monsoon. Yes, it was pouring down rain. Like our feet were just sopping wet, and it was kind of chilly out. It was miserable, but we had fun. So, yeah, we were all in the car on the way home, and I was like, okay, we're trapped in a car. We have nothing better to do. So we all got out our phones, and we were typing notes in our phones. So we are ready. We're very organized now.

Yeah, we are super excited. Yeah. We certainly enjoyed their visit and they are a sexy couple and you know, she's with her shoes on. She's my height. I know. And it's not too often that I get to stand nose to nose with a woman who's not on her tiptoes. Yep. And she's all sexy legs, too. Yeah, she is. Yeah, so they are just a super nice couple that just happens to be sexy and smart. Yeah, the whole package. Yeah, and becoming good friends. Yes. We also just got back from a trip to Dallas. Yeah. We did several things down there. It was legit. Mr.

Jones like had real business down there that's kind of what started the whole thing yeah so and with my new career i have the flexibility to travel with him that's right and so we went the first thing that we did was we went to one and john one of john and jackie melfie's collette clubs um the one in Dallas. And they had a Cassidy party that night. And we really enjoyed ourselves. I mean, can I just say that that was a great experience. What a beautiful club. I just loved everything about it. Yeah, there was a couple of things that made the night really a lot of fun.

First of all, the couple that we met, and we'll get to that in a minute. But second of all, the club itself. The way that, first of all, the staff was extremely friendly. It was an open area, lots of open area downstairs. And there was music playing, but it wasn't blaring. Yeah. So we could still sit around and socialize and talk. Or you could dance if you want to.

and we took our bottle in with us and the bar service was good yep so they gave us a tour and the playrooms were really clean and was really impressed with the way that they said they managed the club but I think one of the most impressive things to me and maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself but we were you're going straight to play time you know we were in one of the play areas with another couple and we had pulled their curtains to have some privacy and I heard at least two or three times I heard some staff member outside in the hall say don't touch the curtains they're closed for a reason they want their privacy and I was just really impressed that to the extent that the staff was out there and they were making sure that you know the rules were being followed and that people were not you know for lack of a better term creating awkward situations yeah there you go because that that can turn into.

Right. So I think maybe the other lady and I were making a little bit of noise and people were curious about what was going on behind the curtain. I don't blame people for wanting to pull the curtains open. And if you could trust people, but we know that you can't.

I mean, most people you can, but we've had experiences in clubs before where guys especially come in and start grabbing um things that they shouldn't be doing so right and you know we have very limited club experience and and yeah unfortunately when we have been in clubs we've we've been approached with um out consent and sometimes it's just been a touch on the leg and sometimes it's been a whole lot more right and that just kind of makes me gun shy so so there there were two actually there were three playrooms and call it one of them had like this ridiculously huge round bed yeah that actually looked like it would have been a lot of fun yeah um so that was the group room and then they had they had the most private rooms where we were, where there were actually like curtains that you couldn't see through around the beds in the room.

And then there was a room where there were beds together, but there were like shears. So you'd be able to see what was going on. So yeah, so because I'm a weenie and we had to pick the most private room. I don't think it was that, honey. I think when we came up the stairs, that was the first bed that we saw that was open. Oh, okay. I'm going weenie and we had to pick the most private room. I don't think it was that, honey. I think when we came up the stairs, that was the first bed that we saw that was open. Oh, okay. And we grabbed it.

So I wasn't even thinking about whether the curtains were sheer or not. Well, I appreciated the privacy. Yeah. So, sorry. I want to be an exhibitionist, but I'm not quite there yet. I think you're well beyond that. But anyway, the couple that we met, hello to our friends from Arkansas. We had corresponded with them ahead of time through Cassidy and we met them at the club and we're a great couple. Yeah. I mean, when you're connecting with people that you see on an RSVP list, you're like, well, if nothing else, they can be like our wing couple.

We can sit and have a drink with them and hang out and yeah and that kind of stuff and then all of a sudden i'm like wow i really like these people yeah we ended up not really obviously they were super attractive the minute we met them but then they just were super nice and fun and right and so there's two two ways to go with that you either say hello shake hands stand around talk for five or ten minutes and then excuse yourself and start meeting other people but we enjoyed the conversation so much and the potential yeah of what could happen we just stayed with them for most of the evening and ended up going upstairs together and had a great time my only regret if i had a regret is that we didn't really make any kind of effort to meet anybody else no no you know there was another couple that came and sat down with us we were kind of like on a couch area yeah and they came and sat down next to us and we chatted with them for a little bit and they were a great couple too actually they had a big old bottle of fireball that they shared with us yeah and we talked with them enough that i guess they must have enjoyed the conversation because when i got home we got back to the hotel that night i emptied my pockets i had a bar napkin with their names and phone number on it and i said where did this come from i know so we need to reach out because they were a very nice couple yeah so thank you um very much john and jackie for the hospitality um we really.

That's two collect clubs down and two to go. We still need to go to Austin and Houston. Yes. But stay tuned. The other thing that we got to do is visit some friends when we were in Dallas. Yes. And two that you all may know, Jay and Angie from the Average Swingers podcast. Yep, we got to have dinner with Jay and Angie.

They took us to an authentic Tex-Mex restaurant's there's there's two different types of jay there's um there's sober jay and then there's not sober jay and he had to work the next morning like that night yeah so we got we got the uh sober jay which really turned out to be good it was a therapy session for us because they've been podcasting longer than we have and been in the lifestyle longer than we have. So we were able to share some situations, maybe some awkward moments with them.

And, uh, you know, they're, they're really insightful and they have such a great relationship and some of their insights really helped us. So I, uh, and I think the more, even though Jay was sober, I think the more, uh, tequila that Angie drank, the more wise she was getting. Yeah. The rest of us were drinking margaritas. She kept saying, you're not going to have another one. You're not going to have another one. And I, and I would keep getting them cause you know, I felt like I didn't want her to feel awkward, you know, being the one that was drinking all the margaritas.

That's right's right yeah so thank you guys for um your friendship and we're not going to be able to catch you at naughty in new orleans this year so it was good that we were the four of us were able to catch up yes and then we had other lifestyle friends that we met while we were there and they took so the common theme here is that we ate our way across dallas it was ridiculous we were alternating between tex-mex and barbecue i don't know how many vegetables i ate that week but i don't think it was a lot yeah it was just all meat and cheese and yeah and then yeah we capped it off at the airport on the way home with the whataburger yeah so we did a lot of eating not much exercising well well we did have some exercise well that's true horizontal exercise yeah so our friends took us to a great barbecue place in downtown dallas and then they took us back to their house yes what a beautiful home yep and we got to spend some quality time with them yes Yes, we did.

Oh my goodness. Yeah. What an attractive couple. And, and we, we know them well enough now that they're truly becoming friends and we're, you know, so much more comfortable being together and transitions are a lot easier. And. Yep.

I mean, we just sat around, we made some cocktails at their house and we sat, it was a really nice day and they have a really beautiful courtyard in their backyard so we sat out there and had some drinks and yeah well we'll talk about more of this later but the thing that i keep remembering is there was some they had some non-lifestyle and some family um things going on that day and so we were waiting for that part of their schedule to clear up. And we kept, everybody kept looking at their watches and is it time yet? Are they gone yet?

Do we have, what time did we had a window of opportunity between the end of one of their events and the beginning of another one? Right. And we made full use of all of that time. As soon as the coast was clear. That's right. Yeah.

There, there was no, not a lot of transition time no it was on your mark is that go no yeah we'll talk more about that or at least i know i'm going to talk more about that later but thank you guys for hosting it was great to see you again and we know that we're going to see you again hopefully we can do these return trips to dallas for business in the future yes hopefully a lot of fun and you know just kind of around town here we've had some really fun um like outings with like i guess they're our vanilla friends but you know as more of the community finds out about us you know we're we're obviously finding out who our friends are and, and it's been kind of refreshing to be, um, to hang out with people that know both sides of our story.

Yeah. Can I make an observation about that? Yeah. We use the term vanilla and we've talked about this before and other people have of whether that's a disparaging comment to somebody, but what's, what we're finding is-unquote vanilla friends, when they find out we're in the lifestyle and that they still care about us, just from those two things right there, they're no longer vanilla friends. They're like fringe. French vanilla, vanilla bean. They're friends on the fringe. But it does make a difference.

So so i'm sorry to interrupt you you were talking about this couple that um well it's just you know they they know about um our podcast and and they also know a lot about you know our lives and in our community our our normal everyday lives yeah and and they're perfectly okay with that they're not in the lifestyle they're not curious about being in the lifestyle but they're very open to that part of our lives. And, and they're perfectly okay with that. They're not in the lifestyle. They're not curious about being in the lifestyle, but they're very open to that part of our lives and accepting.

And it's so refreshing. And you're bringing this up because there is a couple that do exist that we went to dinner with. Yes. Yeah. And it's just, it's just been, it was so much fun at dinner. Yeah. You know, cause we could talk about anything. Our guard was completely down because honestly, you know, when we go out to dinner with lifestyle people, um, especially Thank you very much. It was so much fun at dinner. Yeah. You know, because we could talk about anything. Our guard was completely down.

Because honestly, you know, when we go out to dinner with lifestyle people, especially like the first date when you're kind of feeling each other out to see how comfortable you are with each other. You know, you have to be somewhat guarded about your job and your family and that kind of stuff. This was just like an open book. It was the opposite. Yeah. They already knew a lot about us. So now they were exploring the lifestyle part of it. Yeah. So nothing was off the table or nothing had to keep filed away with these guys.

And yeah, we're just really looking forward to developing our friendship with them in a very normal way. I mean, it's just great. Our new normal. Yes. yes yeah that was a lot of fun um and then you know what the funny thing about though now that you mentioned it so we were at the dinner with them and and we had a couple of drinks and then we were going to order a bourbon and I said well first of all I'm driving so this third drink is probably I shouldn't do but I said you guys don't live far from us why don't you come back and we'll drink bourbon at the house.

And for a minute there, speaking of awkward. I think you were drinking scotch. Yeah, scotch. We came back for scotch. I'm saying that for D, you know, because that's Satan juice versus mother's milk. Yeah. Yeah. So we came, so they didn't live far from us.

We came back to the house and it was awkward a bit because I'm like okay they know what we do in our house and they know that when we bring friends back here sometimes we do this so i didn't know if i had to like say a disclaimer like don't worry we're not gonna attack you when we come through the door but um didn't say anything and it just turned into a normal friendly open honest open, honest. It wasn't awkward because I think they trusted us and yeah, that it was just, we were having friends over. Yeah.

I mean, they knew that we weren't going to knock them out and drag them downstairs and they felt comfortable with that. So yeah, that, so that part of it was not as awkward as I thought it was going to be. Not awkward at all. Right. Where I thought it might be. Right. So lastly, and keeping up with the Joneses. This is a biggie. So, let.C. And we podcasted about that, I think, way back in Episode number nine. Yes. Well, we decided to go to another one.

You know, we did a george weekend in miami the year after that and so we said you know what we we want to go back to it just for dinner because a lot has changed yeah he's he's changed the format a little bit yeah and um so yeah he was back in dc a week ago so we managed to wrangle an invitation and it was a fun fun evening it was a fun evening and and it has evolved a lot since that first dinner and you know we we were able we know this time we got there probably a half an hour early before the event started and we had, uh, corresponded with a couple before, uh, met them for cocktails before the event started at eight o'clock and it was at a five star location, uh, in, in the middle of Washington, DC.

Can I just say you got the coolest drink ever before dinner when we met them at the bar? I did. Do you remember the cedar plank? Oh, yeah. So I asked the waiter to recommend a bourbon drink. And so they brought a cedar plank and a branding iron. And a blowtorch. And a whiskey glass. And a blowtorch. And they put the cedar plank on the table in front of us.

and then they took the blowtorch and heated up the branding iron and then they branded the cedar and then they inverted uh the the whiskey glass and put it down on top of the branding on the cedar which allowed the smoke you know inside of the glass it was so cool and then they poured my my drink into the smoked glass and you said the smokiness was just right it was didn't overpower it or no yeah that was quite the production at first i thought oh that this is all production this is all for show i'm not going to be able to taste anything but but i couldn't but i did yeah it was very cool yeah and we really enjoyed getting to know the other couple.

As a matter of fact. And you know the bonus? What? They're local. I know, that's what I was going to say. As a matter of fact, we have a date on the calendar after we get back from desire. Yeah, and you know what was really weird about meeting them? Well, weird in a good way. We have like common acquaintances and common career interests. Yeah, we do.

And like it was almost freaky like how much we have in common you mean awkward okay well it was awkward in a good way it was like you're kidding me you know something else would come on up you're kidding me well let's just put it this way the next day um i went he went to find me on a very well-known professional social network and we were already connected and didn't know it. That's how close our business interests, uh, overlap. We were already connected. Yeah. Yeah. So we had a lot in common to say the least. Yeah.

So we, we, um, um we weren't seated near them at dinner which was fine because that gave us an opportunity to get to know other people yeah we were there was only one couple between us that's true yeah and so yeah we enjoyed the pre-dinner um socializing but then when eight o'clock came around we still when we moved into the main dining room we still 15 minutes or so, 15 or 20 minutes of socialization. Yeah, it might have even been like a half an hour. George does a good job of allowing people to mingle. Yeah, that was, it seemed like a much longer period of time this time.

Right, so you walk in and there's a server with a tray of champagne. So you get your glass of champagne and it's just nice to be able to walk around and sip champagne and meet people and right everybody's dressed so nice like all the men men usually wear you know a suit or maybe just you know a jacket um and so everybody's just dressed really nice ladies have on beautiful cocktail dresses and very very sexy people yes and then we were pre-arranged in our seating seating arrangements, and George did a great job hosting and getting around and talking with everyone, he and Anne.

And then I think it was the chef and maybe the maitre d', I don't know, or the general manager, I'm not sure.

They would come out between courses and tell us what we had just been served we had just been served right and then they paired a wine with it and the food was what you say it's like it was small plate style right everything well i think it was pretty much all meat i mean we started out with some ahi tuna and we had um scallops i think and then we switched to beef um wasn't there there was lamb oh yeah i think and then um and then we had i think it ended with beef right well it ended with dessert well and then there was like this ridiculous chocolate thing with some port oh the food was really really tasty and it was just enough you know because you you can get overwhelmed with the food you know we're trying to eat the food while you're having conversation so all the little small plates was you know it's just perfect to be able to keep conversing and right and at the same time enjoying your meal yeah so we and there was a couple it was a little bit awkward again there, there's that word.

Our table was U-shaped because... Well, there were 32 people in attendance. That's a pretty big group for George. Yeah, it was. And so we were right on the corner. And so I was able to talk to one couple to the left. And then you were able to talk to what turned out to be a single guy on your right. Right. There was a single guy and a single lady seated together. So for the first 15 minutes, I'm talking to them like they're a couple. And then finally he said, we just met. And I'm like, Oh, you guys are in a new relationship. He's like, no, we didn't know each other. We just met.

I'm a little dense. Yeah. Yeah. So we, so we got to meet.

Um, it was really enjoyable evening, plenty of time to socialize the the food was good george made his rounds and spoke with everyone we had an opportunity there were some people there that knew we were going to be there we were able to catch up with them and then meet new people but then i think what was different about this dinner that i like the most is that when we were finished with dinner we all went to the bar yes as a group and that and that allowed us to move around and there was actually like a lounge area in the bar that i think was just for our group yes um so there were like high top tables and little sofa arrangements and then plenty of floor space if you wanted to stand up and mingle so there were just all different types of opportunities to mingle in there yeah so in the process of kind of reflecting on what this just for dinner is and what it's turned into and um and in speaking with george i think what we're going to do is we're going to do a bonus podcast and we're going to have george with us yeah it's going to be pretty fun yeah because we get to interview george yeah we we've we've known him for a while and we've been to several of his events now and we get a lot of questions about gosh who is this guy and what goes on in these they're kind of exclusive or secret or you have to apply and what's the process and you know what are they like and so rather than us try to be the middleman we thought it would be great if we gave him an opportunity to come on and right talk about how because his business model is changing i mean he's he's moved from do you know george to the club and we'll give him a chance to talk about that and um anyway it was a great evening right it was and you know i i just loved meeting all these new people i think there were maybe like i don't know three or four couples that we didn't get to meet but we we did either before dinner or after dinner we did get a chance to chat with a lot of people and it was a it was a really diverse crowd as far as like age yeah um there you know a lot of different races were represented so if you think it's just all like 40 year old white people, that's not what it was.

It was a really well blended group of intelligent, sexy people. Obviously it wasn't because we're in our fifties. You just thought you'd let that slip through. And we weren't alone. No, we weren't. No. I mean, there were couples there in their 30s and like, yeah, and then they were there with us. Yeah. I mean, some people might get the idea that because you have to apply and there's a vetting process that you have to look a certain way or be a certain way and make a certain amount of money. And then other people say, you know, this is really not an inexpensive evening. And it's not.

But if you have ever been to a five star restaurant in a, one of the major cities in the U S or around the world, you know, the cost is really comparable to what it would cost you anyway to go to a five star restaurant and, you know, have all these five course dinner with wine pairing. Yeah. Right. Right. In a private dining room. So, you know, in a, in a way you, you get what you pay for. Right.

So, you know, I don't know if George intentionally puts together I don't know if george intentionally puts together a diverse group of people or if it just organically happens as people apply and you know he accepts them and actually officially invites them but however whether it's intentional or accidental it's just it was an excellent group of people yeah it works yes it really does and that's one thing that we'll we'll talk about when we have him on is what is that process yeah how do you work yeah how do you pick people for this you know it's kind of like going to a potluck where there's no sign up and you're like oh my gosh everybody's going to bring like potato salad and there's not going to be anything else to eat it all works itself out so maybe that's what happens at the george dinner he puts all these sexy couples together and it just creates a really interesting comfortable group of people to be with okay well i don't know about the whole potluck thing but it seems to work just trying to make it relatable honey so that's a lot that we've been up to and we and we've got a couple of busy months coming up.

We do. Yeah, this summer's going to fly by. So hopefully you all are making some lifestyle plans over the summer. Yeah. And when we come back, we are going to get into some awkward lifestyle encounters that we've had. Yep. And we all have them, so stay tuned to listen to ours.

welcome back to segment two of our episode and this is titled feels like the first time our awkward lifestyle moments or encounters or whatever you want to call them yeah and we've we've gotten just like a lot of the other topics we cover we've had people email us and and in our me we group um and in our private membership talk about awkward situations and how they've dealt with it and we and i got a particular email that made us put this topic on our list yeah so we thought we would start by sharing this message with you because we think it's going to resonate with a lot of people hi mr and mrs jones we are very new to all of this and we've enjoyed your podcast and want to share a snapshot from our first experience in the lifestyle a bit of forewarning this is far from the sexiest snapshot but definitely a lifestyle memory that we won't soon forget we are an early 30s couple that's been married about a decade while i the guy have fantasized from time to time about exploring the lifestyle we'd never really discussed it Thank you.

30s couple that's been married about a decade, while I, the guy, have fantasized from time to time about exploring the lifestyle, we'd never really discussed it. I just never got the impression my wife would be interested. To celebrate our anniversary, we booked a trip to hedonism because, well, why not? Recognizing we might find ourselves in new situations, we started researching and discovered the podcast community. Although we weren't exactly on the same page about what we wanted out of our trip, we learned enough to agree on our rules before we left.

We had a great time on the trip and with a lot of fun, sexy surprises along the way. As it turns out, swingers are very friendly. On our last night, a couple we'd been hanging out with invited us to the playroom for what would become our first lifestyle play experience. By the time we left the dance party, a third couple and a single guy joined, none of whom we really knew and well out of bounds for us on a number of levels. We found a bed next to the other five for a little separation so we could keep more in our comfort zone.

We had sexy time alone for a bit and then our friends each came over at various points to join us. The guy kissed my wife after politely asking us both and later the lady kissed me and then kissed my wife, something that couldn't have seemed real even in my wildest fantasies. So that should be the snapshot, right? But no, the thing that stuck in our minds is that during what should have been an incredibly sexy situation, all we could think about is how overwhelming it all was. It's fair to say we don't regret it, but it was a far cry from the sexy adventure we hoped it might be.

We aren't prepared to say we don't regret it, but it was a far cry from the sexy adventure we hoped it might be. We aren't prepared to say the lifestyle isn't for us based on one experience, but when we are ready to try again, how might we differentiate between the awkwardness of getting up to speed in the lifestyle compared to awkwardness of the lifestyle just not being our thing. If our situation isn't uncommon, we feel like your insight on the matter could be an invaluable resource since a lot of newbies, by definition, wouldn't have many lifestyle friends to poll.

Thanks for your insight, S and C. Well, you know, I think after listening to their story, you know, the word awkward is how he kind of like ended his thought. Yeah. And and sometimes awkward can be because something is new and you haven't experienced it before. Or sometimes awkward can just be because it's awkward. Yeah.

So in their defense, I think it was an awkward moment for them because it was they had nothing to relate it to no prior experience right you know so they're they were obviously completely out of their comfort zone which is where we all are at the beginning of our journey yeah and i think his original question was around being overwhelmed but but he also used the word awkwardness a couple of times. And so we thought we would step back because this is not necessarily something that happens when you're a newbie. Right.

You know, we, what we're learning is that, and I think we've got enough awkward stories to prove it, that awkwardness tends to happen throughout your lifestyle journey and that's just a part of the lifestyle yeah and so understanding that and maybe what causes that awkwardness and how you recover from it or talk about it afterwards um is where we were trying to head with this topic right so we were actually supposed to record last night instead of this morning, but Mr. Jones and I had to have a conversation about our awkward moments.

And, and what we discovered through our conversation was that things have been less awkward in my mind, my perspective than they've been for Mr jones like you you felt more awkward at first when we entered the lifestyle yeah at the beginning yeah yeah although our very first experience you know you were the one that was awkward oh yeah i was like freak out mode so yeah our very very first experience was when we were at Desire. It was our very first day. We met a super nice couple. Um, they kind of took us under their wing and we hung out with them in the, in the hot tub.

Well, I think we met him at the pool and then we hung out with him at the hot tub. And then after the disco that night, we went back to the hot tub and they were there again.

And we were telling them, this is our very first first time at this kind of resort we've never taken our clothes off in front of other people before we we didn't even know what the lifestyle was until like a month ago when we started doing research and we have no idea what to expect yeah and they were experienced yes so there was a disparity there and then and then he ended up putting his arm around you yeah and then you turned into a block of ice well right i had never had like in in like three decades i had never had another man touch my bare skin right you know and he had his arm around me and we were naked in the hot tub and he had his arm around me and he put his hand on my hip it wasn't even like he he was like doing something like inappropriate.

Right. But I had another man like right next to me naked touching me. And it was super awkward for me. I didn't know what to do with it. And we just really excused ourselves from the situation awkwardly. Yeah.

And, you know, we walked along the beach the next morning wondering if this like the same thing that this gentleman said in this email is like this is nothing like we thought it was going to be it was awkward um i may have wanted to get on an airplane yeah maybe we should just not only get out of the lifestyle but maybe we should get on a plane or walk up the beach to the to the vanilla resort yeah where we once came from uh so anyway yeah that that was our very first experience and it went and it was awkward well it was overwhelming and you know that that's really the the way we felt we felt overwhelmed yes and like we were in in with that we were in over our heads and that we weren't emotionally prepared to risk our relationship correct yeah so unfortunately um i think everybody kind of has to go through that at some level yeah especially at first because you have this as this gentleman said in the email you have a fantasy about what this would be like and all of a sudden this awkwardness creates this overwhelming feeling and it's nothing like you had imagined and these two things are so different in your head you.

You're wondering, well, this is nothing like I thought it was going to be. Why are we doing this? Right. And that normally is just an overreaction to that awkward situation.

Well, to go back to our episode where we had Catherine on and she was talking about, you know, your, your lid being flipped, you know, sometimes your lid can be flipped because of being overwhelmed not being about angry or jealous about something happened just being overwhelmed and that puts you in that fight or flight state right where i wanted i i wanted to flight you know i i wanted to go home i wanted to remove myself from the situation right um but but we stayed and yeah and we fought through it and then obviously it it turned out well here we are yeah it did and and that was our first very first experience so compared to the email which is their very first experience but then we started thinking well wait a minute we just had an awkward experience on our desire cruise yes we did and we didn't really talk about that last month but but yeah so we met a couple um towards the end of the week and really hit it off with them i think we we had a like a casual encounter with them like midweek on the cruise and then later on we ran into them at the bar and they were just kind of by themselves and we were just kind of like moseying down to to the disco and we stopped and talked with them and we ended up talking for like two hours and just really had a lot in common and they were just super nice and super sexy yeah and so we one thing led to another and we decided to go to the playroom with them yeah we went to the playroom and i went to the men's room and when i came back uh the the playroom on the ship was nice but you had to push mattresses together right because they were double beds or something i don't know what they were but anyway when i came back there were three two couples and not there were three couples and not two couples right but let me back up the train just a second so when we were talking to them and it and it turned out that it wasn't going to just be like a five minute chat and and leave you could tell all four of us wanted to spend more time together he said you know we kind of have sort of had tentative plans for this evening um and i see the other couple over there but he said we really had nothing said in concrete so he said let me go just let them know that that we have plans oh i didn't know that oh you didn't know that no you must have been in the bathroom no i wasn't at the bar i was not no so anyway so yeah he told me that and he disappeared for i mean it was literally like 60 seconds and he came back.

So I think that that was the couple. And then, yeah, so when we got to the playroom, the way the playroom was set up on the ship was that they had a bunch of twin mattresses that had sheets on them and everything and pillows and in like a big meeting room space in the ship.

And that way, it was a super flexible space if it was just the two of you a twin mattress was big enough to play but then you could easily slide the mattresses together for a larger group so we had put two mattresses together which was plenty of room for four people and then that was when you went to the bathroom yeah and then while mr jones was in the bathroom and we were kind of getting all situated and I got my little swinger bag out and we were starting to undress, another couple came up and I didn't know who they were, but it was obvious that our friends knew who they were. Yeah.

They slid a third mattress over. Yes. So I was kind of at a disadvantage and I wasn't um very proactive in figuring out the situation so i didn't know i mean it was obvious they knew each other and and i didn't know if if our friends wanted to include that couple or you know play with that couple you know so i thought well you know and it was kind of weird because a couple didn't even introduce themselves to us. Right. We didn't even know their names. So I think they were very shy. Well, I don't think they cared. And obviously I was too. I think they wanted to play with the other couple.

Well, that was obvious. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, they didn't talk to me at all. And then when you got back, they didn't talk to you. No, there was no talking.

And I assumed when I came back that our friends were going to tell their friends hey you know like we said at the bar we're busy yeah so that didn't happen no we didn't like nobody handled it well including you and i we should have spoken up well when it became awkward yeah is when uh you were with him you were kissing him and I was kissing her, and then we laid down on the bed, and then all of a sudden the other couple, the woman from the other couple basically pushed you out of the way. Well, I think what happened is I turned and I was playing with the wife with you for a few minutes.

And then the other lady, the third lady, took advantage of the situation because I had disengaged with the husband temporarily to play with the wife I don't know.

a few minutes yeah and then the other lady the third lady took advantage of the situation because i had disengaged with the husband temporarily to play with the wife and and she moved in and when we say she moved in she put a condom on him and sat on top of him yes she did and they just started having sex and so right away it was like oh no now what do we do this is awkward and he didn't stop her but i could tell that maybe he was a little uncomfortable but he kept going so you and i he didn't want to hurt her feelings i mean the whole thing was just very terrible communication among all six of us obviously yeah so you and i continued to play with her for a while and then which was fun but it wasn't what we had expected yeah so you got you got left out a little bit because you know we you weren't going to go back over there and push her out of the way and there wasn't any real estate left because she made sure she had all of him yeah so um anyway uh it did it didn't go as we had thought it would or wanted to and then they turned the lights on in the playroom and the guy with the guy with the blue latex gloves was standing around waiting for us to leave and and that was the last night yeah so we didn't have chance for a do-over yeah maybe someday we'll get a do-over with our friends it was it was awkward it was.

Yeah, so we've had a few of those lately. And this was our most recent play experience. Well, no, it happened last month. Yeah, on our cruise. So just to show you that can happen to anyone.

Well, you know, another thing that has been a little awkward for us lately, let's just get it all out there okay um meeting listeners can be awkward yeah and not awkward in a bad way but it's just i think um you know when when you and i meet people that actually listen to our podcast i mean because we do get to meet people that that don't really listen and and it's a much more you know typical lifestyle encounter but when we do meet people that we know have listened to our podcast it it's just it's awkward because the relationship is unbalanced from the beginning right because they say we feel like we already know you and and you guys do because this is us yeah we don't't really portray ourselves differently than we really are.

We're not actors. No. We'd be horrible. Yeah, we would. So this is the real deal here. So yeah, you guys do know us more than we know you, obviously, when we meet. So sometimes that can be a little awkward, because Mr. Jones and I feel like we need to play catch up, because we want to get to know you guys when we meet you face to face. Yeah. And then we feel like if we tell stories, it's like, oh my gosh, these poor people are probably bored because it's like a rerun. Yeah. We've told you all of our stories. That's right. What are we going to talk about? On episode 47, we told this story.

And then there's the awkwardness of them. You can see them looking at our faces and bodies and then and then in their head they have you all have our voices and they're reconciling that and and i know and i'm thinking oh is this a good thing or a bad thing yeah see i told you we were in our 50s and then there's this you could see this oh okay well you're nothing like i thought you were gonna look like or you're just just like we thought we are like, OK, well, is this part over? Because it's a little awkward. But we're learning to manage that. And it really doesn't take very long.

It's just usually like the first 15 minutes or whatever. And then we all settle in and then it's fine. Yeah. So if you meet us or when you meet us, it's OK. That awkwardness is OK. That's right. Because at first we kept thinking, why are people like this? You know, we sit in our basement and we talk on these microphones and we're the same people we are out in real life. So why is this so awkward? And now we understand more about it and we've accepted it and we're a little bit better at allowing people to acclimate to being around us, um, in a good way. And it's all good. Right.

Cause obviously we don't see ourselves that way. You know, it's just, we are who we are and, and we forget that there's another side to, uh, iTunes or whatever. Uh, you know, in our, um, just to talk about our little, um, private community members only group and me, we, we had somebody, we're doing some great sharing. As a matter of fact, we have enough people in there now where people are sharing where they live and trying to do some meet and greets.

But anyway, one of the gentlemen in the group just this morning, and I got his permission to share this, fortunately, but he said they were going to be going out of town this weekend or next with six other couples or five or six other couples. And this has been on the calendar for a long time, and they were all looking forward to it. And he said, and then one couple dropped out, which was fine, because they really didn't know them.

But then one of the other couples announced that they were separating and then but instead of just saying we're separating we can't join you the woman said we're separating and can I come along on the weekend and this gentleman that's pretty awkward yeah so this gentleman was throwing it out in our me we group to say hey you know what do we do with this situation? I don't know that I'd be comfortable with this.

And I wasn't even thinking about this topic, but my response was, yeah, that's going to be awkward because if she comes as a single and she wants to play and she does play, why is she playing? Is she playing for the right reasons? She's got to be a hot mess of a human being. You know, no matter what the circumstances are of their separation, you're going to be a mess. Yeah. And then there's, you know, there's going to be therapy sessions throughout the weekend because people care about her.

So they're going to want to talk about it and it's going to distract you from why you're there to have fun to begin with. Right. So to his credit, you know, I think the answer was going to be they were not, they were going to just not invite her because of that. There's plenty of other opportunities for them to rally around her and support her. It's not like that they're shutting her out. It's just that that weekend is probably not good for them or for her. No, for sure.

But the fact that he threw that out there and we gave him some feedback, hopefully that will help avoid that potentially awkward situation. Right, right. You know, so sometimes if you have a little, you know, in our situation on the ship, we didn't have a lot of advance notice. I walked out of the bathroom and then all of a sudden you, you know, somebody was moving in and it happened all so quickly.

But in their situation, they know about it ahead of time so they can maybe make some plans i hope so so let's see what else do we have that can we could talk about awkward i know we really could well here's a new awkward for us okay yeah we do have a new awkward yeah so again you know as as more people in our inner circles are finding out about our podcasts and about our adventures in the lifestyle, it can be a rather polarizing topic. Yeah, yeah. But some of our friends, like we mentioned, we have friends that are accepting it.

And then we've also had some other friends curious about it yeah and that's been awkward because we always said oh my gosh we would never ever play with vanilla friends as much as we love to joke about flipping vanillas maybe if that really is one of our fantasies those vanillas that are i'm flipping in my fantasy mind are not my friends yeah yeah they're like random hot people we meet on a cruise ship or a bar on vacation or whatever right right no these are friends that have expressed a curiosity yeah and you were and we're learning to navigate that i mean it's amazing and, and it's so nice to have people trust us enough to ask us really, you know, intimate, thoughtful questions about this and, and, you know, kind of looking for advice and direction.

Yeah.

And I think you're being a little bit vague, but, but part of the conversation that got a little bit awkward was, you know, all of a sudden you have people that you've known that are non in your non-lifestyle world yeah they're non-lifestyle friends and then all of a sudden you know you're used to talking to them about work and about school and about kids now all of a sudden they're talking about sex and you're that's coming out of mouths of people that you haven't you know that that hasn't been a topic of conversation right so it's not i'm not saying it's awkward for them maybe it's more awkward for us because there's a dimension to somebody's lives that we didn't really know we were going to get into when you go out and meet a lifestyle couple, you expect to talk about sex.

Right. Right. Yeah. And now I feel like I'm, I'm torn because I, I, well, first of all, we, we love this couple and they're just super easy to be around. And, um, I, I want to protect my friendship with them. Yes. Um, but at time, you know, it's just, it's so enticing to, to kind of, you know, tiptoe them through this with us. Right. So, so yeah, it, it's awkward in that this is, I mean, we've been in the lifestyle four years and this is the first time this has happened to us. Yeah.

And, and i know we've heard from tons of listeners where they've encountered this much more yes or a lot sooner in their lifestyle journey right um so yeah we we could use some advice here yeah on how to navigate this because it you know it's tempting well we're taking it slow yes you know because the first thing that we said was look stop before we go any further number one well let's preserve our friendship right that's the default setting so you know if anything ever moves in that direction um it needs to be thoughtful and it needs to be a natural progression and we can't just jump there right um because we want to preserve the friendship and you know here's another situation I just thought of that could have been awkward that wasn't okay so those of you who listened to that couple next door and you listened to their last episode you know that Jay and I ran a half marathon together and Jay mentioned that we met a unicorn during our run but he didn't't get into the details, so he left the details to me.

Well, it could have been awkward because I know you might find this hard to believe, but Jay and I were running together, and we were talking the whole way, like he said. It was a blast. I enjoyed catching up with him, and you know how sometimes, honey, when we're in a restaurant and my voice gets a little loud and you look across the table. Well, you and Kay were not there with us to shush us. So I may have used the word penis or something several times out loud. And there was a group of people, you know, I didn't care who was there.

You didn't have your volume control control on no jay and i were talking about lifestyle stuff and podcast stuff and i i had no volume control and neither did he well all of a sudden all of a sudden this very attractive female runs up right next to us and she says hey you guys would you mind being my pacers you're running about the same pace I'm running. And we said, sure. I guess she was cute. Yes, she was cute. And so we ran with her for a while and we introduced ourselves and we talked for her for a while.

And then I think this was at about mile five or six, so we may have been just almost halfway.

So over the next few miles, there would be times like we would stop for water and we'd get separated from her or she would get ahead of us or behind us and um so anyway we we ended up just finding ourselves we said well there she is we need to catch up to or she would catch up with us and we would chat again and we kind of made this thing about we're running with the unicorn well the how the story ended is that we got um we were half a mile from the finish line and i looked up and i said jay she's like 200 yards ahead of us we can't let her win can't let the unicorn beat us so he takes off and and leaves me in the dust and i thought well he's gonna he's gonna either pass her easily or he's going to die.

And so it was more of the latter. He finally, he got winded and I caught up with them. And then we eventually caught up with her and the three of us went across the finish line at the same time.

But anyway, what could have been an awkward situation really wasn't because, so you would have been a little embarrassed because we were talking out loud about all this stuff yeah we would have shushed you yeah you would have so i'm sorry if that that story doesn't fit exactly with this but but he mentioned it and then people were asking about the details so and then when we crossed the finish line she actually gave jay a hug i was a little bit jealous oh she didn't give you one well she patted me on the back and i patted her on the back but then you know she did a full turn to him and gave him a hug oh yeah so obviously we didn't know which one she was more interested in but i don't know you're both pretty hot i'm i'm sure there was a reason she's well you you were at the finish line and then of course we waited for for k and then the four of us had our beer together yes it was fun it was fun but anyway they don't necessarily have to be awkward situations so um so what do we do with this we've we could probably talk we yeah i mean i guess we've given enough examples we could we truly could go on but i think the you know the bottom line is they're gonna happen yeah and I mean, it awkward situations happen all the time and it's usually when you're in some sort of environment that's new yeah you know like first day on the job or you know first day of school you know because we all still take you know professional classes of some sort you know just that first time you walk into you like a group situation like whether it's a whatever, it's like, where am I going to sit?

You know, you know, who do I need to reach out to? And it's just always awkward. Yeah. I mean, anytime like you, like if you go to the grocery store and you run in, like if we were at the grocery store together and we run into an ex-girlfriend, you know, those, the, when your two worlds collide like that unexpectedly and you don't know, oh, my gosh, I had a relationship with her. I have a relationship with this person. Oh, your girlfriend before me did not like me. Well, that's because you won the grand prize. She would come up to Mr. Jones and say hi to him.

And she wouldn't even acknowledge that I was standing there. It was ridiculous. What a snot. Can you blame her? Look what she was losing. Well, I was standing there. It was ridiculous. What a snot. Can you blame her? Look what she was losing. Well, I agree. You should have been empathetic. Oh, whatever. No, you were gloating. You were like, I'm the one who got you. Well, you'd be a bitch to me. Your little claws came out. Your little attitude. Well, I mean, she was rude. Be a gracious loser. I know. Yeah. So, okay, yes, that was awkward.

Yeah, or like running into, people have told stories about running into their non-lifestyle friends. At least they thought they were their non-lifestyle friends at a swearing club. At a lifestyle club, oh yeah.

Yeah, so anyway, you see somebody who doesn't belong there, at least in your mind, and it causes this awkward this awkwardness and you know here's another thing um in our kick groups that we've been in um you know i think sometimes awkwardness is caused by i have a thought or a feeling or i have something that i want to convey to you because i'm interested in you or or whatever and and we don't really know how to say that to people and and so we dance around it or we're we say we use the wrong words or we're vague or we're too forward and it seems awkward because we don't know how to bridge that right gap and i think in our in a kick group that happens lot too, because you get an impression of how somebody is because they're miles away from you and they're electronically communicating and they do it in a way.

And then when you meet them, they're not the person that you thought that they were, you know, because maybe it was a little bit awkward for them communicating that way, or, you know, maybe they don't exactly know how to approach people through this medium, but yeah, this type of awkwardness, you know, we find when people like, you know, when somebody tries to pick up somebody else and, and now we're talking about four people together and not just two people. Right. Good luck with that. Right. Right.

So swinging, you know, what we've learned is it continues to provide us, you know, these new environments that we talk about that we're going into. We go into them all the time now. Well, yeah, I mean, it provides a new environment, but it's basically forcing you into these new environments. But, you know, originally, I think we thought that, oh, we're going to get experienced in this.

so we will be able to talk about every awkward or bad situation and we will be able to talk about every awkward or bad situation and we will be able to do a lessons learned and we will know how to um you know approach it next time so we're not going to have a problem and then that doesn't happen well i mean do you ever think good lord i have a podcast like i do a podcast and i keep making the same mistakes over and over again that I talk about avoiding on my own podcast. Yeah. Right. And I think it's clear that we say the mistake is not putting your stuff in the awkward situation.

That's going to happen. The mistake is thinking that we're not going to be, the mistake is like, we got this figured out. You know, we know this stuff. We got it down cold.

Right right and then we come home like why are we doing this we get out of the lifestyle you know and and all of a sudden we find ourselves you know back in these awkward uh situations i'm the only one that says that honey i'll take that i'll take credit for that one yeah and then you talk me down off the ledge and and not that you have to talk me down off the ledge but i just kind of like you know sit and let it's due for a while and then I'm like, okay. Right. That, you know, it's like, it to talk me down off the ledge, but I just kind of like, you know, sit and let it stew for a while.

And then I'm like, okay, right. That, you know, that was probably more my fault than anybody else's fault because I didn't use my words. Right. So, so tying this back to this couple's initial play experience, we've talked about some lifestyle and non-lifestyle experiences that are awkward or environments that are awkward. But imagine coming into a playroom for the first time, taking your clothes off with two other people, engaging with them physically. If that's not the potential for an awkward environment, I don't know what is. I'm not thinking awkward right now. I'm thinking terrifying.

Yeah. Yeah. Right. Well, it's that terror. It's those feelings.

feelings that's exactly right so the feelings that you're experiencing whether they're jealousy or terror or fear or whatever those get in the way and and then it blocks our ability to react and act accordingly yeah and that's what creates the awkwardness right right so you know that if you're listening to this episode and this is the first time you've listened to we got a thing we do have much more positive topics that we have spoken about so you know this this is like all of our swinger fails basically you know thrown into a thrown into a one hour episode. I don't think they're fails.

No, they're... It's reality. Yeah. Opportunities to learn. Yeah, exactly. And you just kind of have to roll with it.

And, you know, once you learn to, okay, this is going to happen and we're going to live through it and we're going to get past it and we're still going to have fun then you do have fun right so and you let this roll off your back so how do you how would you respond to somebody who says well mr and mrs jones how do you prevent this from happening or can you prevent no you can't prevent them from happening because the reason that they're going to happen is because you're constantly meeting new people yeah um typically these awkward moments that we're referring to are happening with people that we're just getting to know yes not with lifestyle friends that we've had experiences with in the past you know then if it's an awkward moment it's just downright funny yeah you know once you're comfortable with people and something like strange happens you're like wow okay that was crazy and you just laugh it off and then you go on when it when you don't know people you know you're trying to like impress them yeah right you know um and then it just you're like i don't know how to handle this because i don't know these people right and that's really what creates the awkwardness in my opinion it's just the unknown well and you start behaving differently because like a good example of that is like if one of us because we're we don't want to hurt people's feelings we may not be having the best play experience like I might look over at you as first signal but it looks like to me that you're fine but later you tell me you weren't and i'm thinking well maybe you know maybe it's because you didn't you didn't want to hurt the guy's feelings right i am a people pleaser yeah and so then we have then then i understand okay that's why i didn't pick up on that but but i but i agree with you to answer that question is you since you can't prevent this from happening then it would be a mistake to blame one person or the other for that happening.

Right. And another thing I want to say is, you know, because the guy who sent us the email, the way he ended it is, you know, does the awkwardness, is that an indicator that the lifestyle is not for us? Or is the awkwardness an indicator that we're just new and we don't know what we're doing yet? Yeah. I think the answer is B. Which B? I mean. The latter one. Yeah. That you just haven't had enough experience. Well, right. Right.

You know, so when you're having these initial experiences in the lifestyle and you have these situations that, okay, well, that wasn't as cool as I thought it was going to be right or maybe you're kind of like like this couple they it seems like they were rather neutral about the situation and they were like i wonder why we just went through that because we really didn't get a lot out of it well um i think that that goes away with time well yeah because remember when in your mind in your fantasy world everybody behaves the way that you want them to yeah there's no drama because you control everything right but what's and then i remember it was a different podcast but i remember somebody saying in my fantasy world they're like sexy and they do exactly what i want them to do and then when it's over they're just gone yeah they get up and leave they don't even get dressed they're gone poof yeah so so i think we agree that you can't prevent it but you know can you learn to see it coming uh i think maybe if you expect it and then it doesn't happen then you'll be pleasantly surprised yeah and if you're if you're kind of expecting or just understanding that it's going to happen maybe not see it coming right but know that it's a definite possibility and don't let that hinder your ability to either carry on with the evening or right right or or try try again right you know in the future yeah i think what you're saying is it it becomes less of a big deal yeah over time and so you know can you navigate through it or how do you extricate, you know, yourself from it?

That's just something that takes practice. And by that point in time, the awkwardness is already there and you've already experienced it. You know, you may be able to get out before there's serious damage done, but I think you just have to chalk it up to, hey, you know, live and learn.

We made a mistake or we didn't see that coming and let's not you know let's not dwell on it right now well and i i think you know to kind of wrap it all up is the way you get past this is you reflect on it yeah why was it awkward were we really not meant to be with those people to begin with because they were know, they had a little bit of quirkiness to them that we didn't anticipate. Right. Or maybe they were just, you know, super assertive and were more laid back. So we weren't a good fit, like timing wise. You know, what was it that was awkward?

And is it something like within yourself that you really, it might be an indicator that this isn't for you? Or was it just the situation, like the dynamic? Right. Because the dynamic is just the dynamic with that couple. And next time it's going to be completely different with a different couple. Correct. Yeah. Yeah. So talking about it, reflecting on it, and just not blaming each other, you know, attacking the awkwardness and not the person.

Right right especially if it's awkward because it's unbalanced you know if one partner is having a better time than the other one the partner that's having a good time it's really not their fault they're having a good time right you know and it's and it might not be your fault that you're not having a good time yeah and i think one of the things that we do as painful as it is is that i have a perception of what happened on your side of the bed but oftentimes it's not reality i know when we debrief the next day sometimes you're like what yeah yeah and then and then initially i'm kind of mad at you because i'm like you're such a blockhead you know me better than anybody else in the whole world i can't believe you didn't know that was going on right and then and then I'm calmed down and yeah sometimes I manage to keep those words inside my own head sometimes they spill out sorry yeah I know I beat you up a lot that's okay but I think my point is that you need to tell me from your perspective exactly what happened and what was going through your head so that I can reconcile the difference.

I can say, oh, well, my impression was this. Now that I know what happened, now let me go back and rethink how the evening progressed. How could we have seen a flag that may have told us that something like this was possible? But until I know what really happened on that side of the bed, then I'm going to continue to be defensive and argue my side of reality, which in fact is not reality. Right. And, you know, four years into this and how many debriefing conversations that we had, you know, that the there's part of my brain that's like, we should have this figured out.

Like, why does this keep happening? Like, how can we be this stupid?

But again, it's because we're constantly you know meeting new people and and we're in new situations like we don't go to clubs a lot so i'm nervous when we go to a club sure you know i was nervous when we were on the cruise because we had never done a cruise before and i didn't know what to expect yeah you know so all like i'm probably not so nervous at desire because that's just that's my happy place yeah um but the people at desire are new so that and we've had some awkward encounters at desire like even recently um it's just gonna happen it is so i think that the bottom line here is that yes you're gonna find yourself in awkward situations and it may not even be your first play experience your first play experience might be exactly what you thought it would be or more oh and that's almost the worst it is because that sets you up yeah that just sets you up for failure man yeah you're like oh man this is easy i got this figured out yeah yeah and then all of a sudden so you're going to have awkward situations and's a part of the lifestyle.

It's a part of growing as an individual and as a couple. It's part of life. And it's the same process with communication afterwards that we've talked about before. So hopefully this is helpful to you. Thank you for sharing this email. And for those of you who are new, we'd love to hear your awkward stories. Especially if you're in our MeWe group, you know, throw these out there.

That's out there let's compare notes and have these stories and if you're not in our MeWe group go to our website and think about joining our community, we'd love to have you in our second live video cast oh it's coming up this week about the time that this podcast drops that's so it's nice knowing that we're not the only ones that have these awkward moments out there. It is. Yeah. So, to move on then, let's talk about something sexy. Okay. So, when we come back, at least I have a sexy snapshot. I do, too. Oh, you do? I do. You thought of a snapshot while we were talking? Oh, yeah.

Because before, you didn't know what you were talking about. I know. We sat and stared at each other for like 15 minutes. I know. Well, it wasn't that long. Yeah. Okay. So stay tuned. We'll be right back. Well, welcome back to our snapshot segment i guess i'll go first go right ahead ladies first mine kind of goes with the whole topic the whole thing you have an awkward snapshot i do it awkward and intriguing and a little bit sexy all at the same time. Oh, okay. So, this goes back to our vanilla friends that know about the lifestyle. You mean our non-lifestyle friends?

Okay, our non-lifestyle friends, yes. We've been friends with these people for a long time and we went out to, um, a bar with them and we were talking about the lifestyle and they were very, very curious. So they weren't, they were more, um, more than just curious about how we got into lifestyle. They, they wanted to kind of know that because, know and they've known us for a long time, so now they know. So that was a conversation that you and I are getting better at having with people now that we've had to do it a few times.

But then the conversation turned, and they were very, very curious about the lifestyle from their perspective like about exploring it yeah so we started you know we answered their questions and um and then finally my my girlfriend looked at me and she said you know i've never been with a woman before and i was like, and she said but it's just because I haven't had the opportunity and she was like making direct eye contact with me yeah and it was it literally knocked the wind out of my sails because I'm like wow what am I supposed to do with this like this is a a friend i've had for like years and years and i just i think the world of her um yes i think she's very beautiful and i but i you know i've i've always thought of her as being like my my really smart um funny witty clever friend and now all of a sudden I'm seeing her through a different lens.

And yeah, I think her intent was pretty clear and I was like, what am I supposed to do with this? Like, this is my friend.

And then, oh wow, my friend's really sexy and she's sending me a vibe and and what am i supposed to do with this well so it was awkward and sexy and intriguing and completely out of my comfort zone all at the same time yeah yeah she she made a couple of other sexual comments at that point in time too and and i think what happened in my mind is very similar it's like all of a sudden it's funny how um non-lifestyle friends it never enters into our minds that we would want to be with them sexually it's just it doesn't no it really doesn't it doesn't mean that we don't think that they're attractive or hot or yeah whatever it's just right that.

So, yeah, when she made that comment and a couple of other comments, being a blackhead guy, you know, all of a sudden I'm interested. Right.

But then my brain kicks back into gear and I say, well, wait a minute, we're getting way i'm getting way ahead of myself right and so we need to back up because you two need to have a conversation not you she and her husband you guys need to get right with this you know and you need to do like we tell everybody you need to make this your own journey um the fact that you're so close to us and that you know us that i think there may be a temptation for all of us to skip ahead. Yeah. But really, you know, to take a step back and say, no, this is your path. It needs to be authentic.

You guys need to think about this and what you want. And, you know, if it ever gets to a point, then when, you know, it's more natural to talk about that, then we're open to talking about that. So I was conflicted, on one hand like it's like sparked your interest right right so yeah so my snapshot was her actually literally knocking the wind out of my sails like i didn't i didn't see it coming yeah um and i'm like super intrigued and flattered but at the same time i'm so protective of my friendship my friendship. Right. I don't know what to do about it. Yeah, well, stay tuned. Yeah.

Because they're not going away. I mean, they're friends. Yeah. Yeah, so it'll be interesting to see how their journey goes. Yes. We're happy to be a part of that. So my snapshot is not awkward at all. No, it's just hot. Oh, my gosh. The couple that we were with in Dallas that we mentioned that we're such good friends with, and we've played with before and had a lot of fun. So she was on top of me. We were just starting play. But again, we were on a schedule. Yes. We were chop-chop. That's right.

We got business to take to take care of i think we had 45 minutes we had some pent-up aggression yeah you know we had a 45 minute window so there was yeah yeah we got to business yeah and she said um she got up on top of me and she said you know i love giving my husband i love masturbating my husband's one of those things I didn't like my mouth just my brain and my mouth just didn't engage and I just stared at her and she said I said well finally I came to my senses and I said oh it like things started to, oh, maybe she wants to do that to me.

And I said, you're more than welcome to do that with me. And she she's done this to me before. And she looked at me and she said, are you sure this is OK? Are you sure this is OK? And, you know, consent is sexual. But when a woman, you know, wants to do something to you and she asks and then she's enthusiastic about doing it, that's so hot. And I said, yes, that's perfectly OK to do. So anyway, she started playing with me.

But my snapshot is that, you know, as she's my legs are kind of together and she's squatting over top of me and her haunches like her ass is on my knees in that area there or shins and so she's got me in her left hand and then she comes up off her haunches a little bit and then with her right hand she starts playing with herself and I had a direct view of both what she was doing to me and what she was doing to her at the exact same time. I didn't have to lift my head. I didn't have to get into an awkward position. It was like all of the stimulation, both physically and then visually.

And then her, you know, just enthusiasm with what she was doing was quite a snapshot. Yes, it is. And I could tell by what was going on on the other side of the bed. And this is not part of my snapshot, but you know, occasionally we're with couples where, you know, there's an imbalance and you're not, you know, you're not getting the same thing that I'm getting.

And we've talked about that before, but in this case I could hear clearly, I know sound no worries on the other side of the bed and i knew you were having a good time and that just really allowed me to let go because i i've been more on guard lately because i want to make sure that you and i are connected but you were off in orgasm land yes i was And so that let me enjoy my time with her. And, you know, they're such good friends. Yes. And we had such a good time. Yes. Anyway, that's my snapshot. That was a good one, honey. Yeah. So, wrapping up 51. Yeah. You know, like Mr.

Jones said, we are just thrilled with the MeWe group. That's part of our membership community. Yeah. We have some really thoughtful and funny, sexy people in there. Yes. I mean, we have funny things going on. We have some really serious topics going on. We've got good ladies topics going on in the ladies group. The ladies group is growing. And I think what we're finding is, because there is a fee for this service, a monthly fee. It's not a lot of money. And you can find it. If you go to our website, wegotathing.com, and click on private membership community, you can learn more about it.

But, you know, sometimes sometimes when people pay for something they're a lot more invested in it and yeah you know and it's different from a free group it's different than a kick group because kick groups are put together normally before an event right so the conversation is a little bit different but these people want to be there and they're they're intelligent about the conversations and they're you know some of them are a little bit reluctant to share at first, but I think the environment is turning into something that is really more than what we had originally thought. Right.

And I just love that people are starting to connect by location, you know, and they're going to, and they're going to like set up some meetups and yeah. Yeah. So it'll be, there'll be a link in the show notes, but that's also on our website. And we have had so many people join Cassidy lately and then join our community. Yeah. So we were really tickled with that too. Cassidy's really been good for us. And yes, it has been. It seems to be growing. And they hosted a great party at Colette last week in Dallas, you know, so Cassidy's a very fun place to be. It is.

So continue to send us the emails and your thoughts and your experiences. That's where we get a lot of the content. Well, today's podcast is brought to you by a listener email. That's true. So email me at mrjones at wegotathing.com. Or me at mrsjones at wegotathing.com. And wegotathing.com is W-E-G-O-T-T-A-T-H-I-N-G.com. That's right. We have a website.

And on our website, you can find our blog posts and my drink recipes and information about our membership community and our lifestyle courses that we have available for people yes um you can book your trip to desire or a desire cruise through our website yeah and we appreciate the support when you use our affiliate links yep um you can find us on twitter follow us on twitter at we got a thing yep so let's go pack yeah i know suitcases are out theme night clothes ready yep oh and swag bag stuff is ready yeah no more fashion show i've been getting some good desire theme night fashion shows lately you know i i gotta crack on mr jones for just one second before we go mr jones wears glasses well he normally wears contacts but he has glasses um for like at night and and his close-up vision is not the best so I get in bed he gets in bed he's like dinging around on his iPad while I'm washing my face and brushing my teeth and then I'll be like oh Amazon came today or Yandy came today or Victoria's Secret or whatever what happens honey what happens is I hear high heels clicking across the hardwood at 1030 at night.

And I'm like, those don't sound like bedroom slippers. And I drop my iPad and I look up. And because I'm blind as a bat, I can't see anything. And he puts his glasses on the far side of his nightstand. So I just have to walk over. This is so sexy. I just walk over in my heels and my little whatever lingerie. I'm grabbing for my glasses. I know. I grab his glasses and I'm just like, here. And then you get to have a little fashion show. Yeah. So all that's done. We need to pack up and get on the road. Yeah. So for those of you on the plane listening, we'll see you when you land in Cancun.

And for those of you who can't make it, we hope that you can join us next year. Thanks for listening. We are Mr. and Mrs. Jones, and we got a thing. What's your thing? We'll see you next time.