Discussion Topic: In this episode we celebrate the milestone of reaching 50 episodes by reflecting on our lifestyle journey thus far. We are learning a lot and having a loads of fun but it's the people we meet and the growth in our relationship that are most valuable. Care to join us? Our new We Gotta Thing Members Only Subscription Our Navigating Your Lifestyle Journey online course Our new We Gotta Thing website Email: [email protected] Email: [email protected] Follow us on Twitter
Transcript
This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-pos positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us?
hello everyone i'm mr jones and i'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 50 of the we got a thing podcast why did you hesitate there because that's so exciting like a half a century i know when you only do one of these a month uh 50 is a big number. It kind of took us a long time to get there. Yeah. But we're super excited to be this far in our journey. Did you think we'd make it to 50? Oh, no, not at all. Yeah. You know, I thought either we would kind of lose interest or, you know, I don't know.
But I just, I didn't foresee this being something that we could sustain over a a period of time yeah and here we are babe here we are so tonight the title is reflecting on our lifestyle journey a couple announcements before we go further okay let's get the boring stuff out of the way okay we just hosted our very first live video cast okay that wasn't boring no no that was fun yeah and i can i can i say something i was so scared like i was really really nervous before like as we were getting ready to like actually push the live button yeah like doing a live video cast is so different from what you and i are doing right now because when we screw this up we can just hit you know pause and and then we can kind of like have a conversation about you know what we should have said or what direction we were trying to go in there there's no pause button on a live video cast but it was fun yeah we had a good time the other dynamic is we're talking to other people and not just to ourselves yeah right and we're looking at questions and comments that come across the screen as we do that and kudos to the people that joined with us we had great participation i mean like we were we were having a blast with the little chat room next to the screen before we even went live yeah i mean people had kind of joined in maybe 10 or 15 minutes early and we were having so much conversing.
Yeah. And so for those of you who are in our community, what we're thinking about doing in these video casts is asking those of you who are in the community if we can interview you. Yeah. Yeah. We were kind of thinking back, and it's like, man, do we really want to talk for an hour?
No, we can't sit there behind the camera and talk for an hour for a month and just have people watch us we and and the whole purpose of our private group and our membership subscription is for you to connect with each other and so we figured a great way for you to get to know each other would be to come on our video cast and you don't have to turn your camera on it can be just your voice voice. And your voice will only be heard to the people within the community. Right. But we really would like you all to share your stories with each other.
And I think that's the whole purpose of this community anyway. It's not a dating site. It's a place to come and share information and share knowledge and share your experiences and ask questions. Right. And so we did the video cast, but we've also got quite a nice conversation going in our private chat group oh i know like it's super active yeah and um and really fun topics of conversation some of them are super light-hearted and you know not meaningful but like manscaping well no that is not one that i would say was light-hearted that that's. Yeah. We've talked about that. It's necessary.
Uh, we've talked about, people were talking about how the lifestyle has transformed their, their relationships. Yeah. Um, we talked about a whole host of things. Um, what it's like to go to a house party. Um.
Well, we were kind of comparing house parties versus lifestyle clubs, you know, which is a, a better entry point and what are the pros and cons of each one yeah and just lots of different people chiming in with different perspectives and i think one of the most interesting ones that i was a part of was somebody asked um when you're in a vanilla setting like you're in the airport or in your mall in the mall or at a restaurant and you look around what characteristics do you look for in other couples that you see that might trigger your thinking that they might be in the lifestyle yeah and this community has been very well balanced and then you came up with the idea i have to give you credit for this to do a subgroup within our group for ladies only right so i i did i started a we got a thing ladies only group and and i can't take credit for it because last november we had a kick group going for our desire trip and one of the ladies offered to start a ladies group and she did and it was fantastic so that's i totally stole the idea from her but yeah so i started a ladies group and i think i have maybe i don't know 15 people in it so far and it's only two days old yeah so that's been kind of fun the first topic was on women's health and then we've talked about you know what what do we like to wear what's our go-to outfit for like meet and greets and and then um and now we're currently talking about what's in our swinger bag yeah i was and there's been pictures oh see now we're discussing our favorite brands of lube that's brilliant because see sometimes i think the ladies take a back seat in these chat rooms because us guys tend to be the big mouth sometimes yeah that's it's kind of crazy so when you came up with the idea and you threw it out there like maybe 15 or 20 ladies i i think was it that many that yeah let us in yeah and the guys we can't even see what's going on in there haha it's a private group yeah and we've delivered um our first mini course and some of you are into our second mini course yeah and we're recording our third one this week yeah so the the number of people that have joined our membership has exceeded our expectations.
But we'd love to have you. So if you'll visit our website, wegetathing.com, and click on the members only section, you can subscribe. We'd love to have you. It's a pretty low risk thing because you're committing to one month and it's a small fee for one month. So you can kind of give it a test drive and see what you think about it. But we're having a blast. And, like, I am not a big, like, kick person. And, you know, I'll post a few things on my personal Facebook page, you know, like family stuff. But I am just not a big social media person, and I am actually having so much fun.
Yeah yeah i think we're learning that when there's a small fee involved and people are willing to do that that they're that they're invested in it it's something that they think is important to them and we're getting some really good quality conversations well that's another thing like i can look like crap right now and like nobody knows but you but you don't oh well thank you always dress up for our podcast well i do most of the time but here let me pull my top down a little more okay there you go i think you could do that on the next video cast because you were pretty um you're pretty subdued somebody even asked you to strip and you didn't well they said when when is the striptease is it at the end and i was like oh well i think i'm gonna have to have another martini for that.
And then we ran out of time. Tragic. Yeah. But it was really fun. Yeah. And I'm looking forward to next month. We're excited about it. Yes. So we hope you join us. Well, we just got back from a Mediterranean cruise. It was like a dream vacation. It was the desire cruise. Yes. Yeah. And it was a dream vacation in every regard. I mean, as we said before, Mr. Jones and I had never been to Europe before, so we were like kids in a candy store, and everything exceeded our expectations. Well, not everything. Well, okay. I can say everything. You can be nitpicky. Yeah. Well, we have to be honest.
Well, you got to roll with the punches sometimes, too. I mean, we'll say this at the beginning and the end. It was well worth it, and we would do it again. Absolutely. So, obviously, there's going to be hiccups in anything, and we'll talk about that. But, yeah, it was amazing.
And we're not going to – we had never been to Europe before, so we were just fascinated by Spainain and france and monaco and italy and the wine and the region and just the culture and the people that we met it was really port intensive the cruise was and a lot of times the ship stayed in port until 10 or 11 or 12 o'clock at night well and then a couple nights it actually sent the night in port yeah yeah it did so so there was really a lot of time to get off and and do some touring um if that's your if that's your kind of thing you would like that but it was it was a great experience um as far as being in europe so i don't know if it was a typical swinger cruise i don't know like mr mr jones and i have not done a bliss cruise or couples cruise like the caribbean ones there haven't been enough total lifestyle cruises to know what a typical cruise is this ship was small point yeah it was only 700 people and it was in the mediterranean and and so it was and it was desire so it was a little bit different and this is only their second cruise but anyway But anyway, when we started out, the first thing was we started in Barcelona.
And there was a meet and greet at a swingers club called Oops. And that was the night before we all got on the ship Saturday morning. So it was a Friday night. Yeah, that was the nicest swinger club we've ever been in. Yes.
We in the States could could learn a little bit if you want to learn how to design and run a swingers club go to oops in barcelona i mean hands down it was amazing yeah yeah and we we had started a kick group before we went over there i think we had about what six or eight couples yeah i think there were seven couples yeah so most of us met up at um for the time face to face at that meet and greet and that was really fun yeah yeah getting to meet people face to face you've been chatting with for a couple months and you know I gotta say our our kit group was pretty quiet for the cruise so I didn't really know what to expect with the people I mean everybody seemed nice and and we had all posted face pictures of ourselves so we would know who to look for when we finally saw each other and you know everybody was like sexy and attractive and but then because it wasn't super chatty i'm like i don't know what this is going to be like but those were our people yeah i mean like we were a posse for the week we'll talk about those people yeah um a minute.
Yeah, so those were the countries we went to, the club we started at. The ship was really nice. You know, it was a small ship. The service was fantastic. The food was good. Yep. No complaints about the ship. It was very intimate. Yes.
So it didn't really have, like, so as you all know all know mr jones and i are i'm a huge cruise person and i bring mr jones with me and and he likes him too he just can't quite admit it as much as i do um so i'm really a kind of a cruise snob and uh this ship was it was small and it was clean and the service was amazing and And what I liked about it is that people got to know you. The only downside, and this had nothing to do with the cruise itself, is that it was springtime in Europe, and it was cool. That was not the only downside, but you keep saying that.
Well, the weather was not the best. No, no, the weather was not the best. Yeah. So it was kind of cool outside. It actually rained most of the days we were on the ship. So we did spend a lot of time inside. Yeah, and even the one day we were at sea when they had the pool party, and it was probably 65, 70 degrees. And it was raining in the morning, but it did clear up, and we did get some sunshine. It was funny. It was so funny because people were so itching to be naked. They would go to the pool deck and get naked, but then they would wrap themselves in towels because it was a little windy.
And the cruise ship actually had little flannel fleece blankets in addition to the beach towels.
So you would see these beautiful, sexy, naked women with this plaid fleece blanket wrapped around them yes but we were naked and partying damn it so the climate well in that time of year at that latitude it's not mexico right so it's like springtime yeah um so we got some good days and some bad days but that didn't really slow us down any um okay so here was one of the negatives okay of course of course you're gonna find something the entertainment was not up to desire standards no you're right yeah and you know first of all you had the competition between the the ships entertainers and the desire entertainers and i'm not taking anything away from the desire staff but it just seemed like you you would look in the daily briefing about what the the entertainment was going to be that night and it would say so and so company from england is coming in to do the performance tonight like a burlesque show yeah and then you get to the to the show and they weren't It was the Desire people.
And it kind of looked like that the Desire people may have had to throw something together at the last minute. Now, the Desire people were very talented. They are. I'm not taking anything away from them. But whoever was managing that, it was not up to the standard that we're used to seeing when we go to RM or Pearl. Right, right.
was right it was it was a lack of um organization and choreography not a lack of talent right yeah um but but there was one guy i have to say and he was not a desire person the cruise director and he was he might have been almost our age but he was so bad that he was entertaining. Well, so he sang, and he had a nice voice, right? You said at one point, I swear. No, I said his voice didn't match the show. Well, right, but you said he could sing. Yeah, but he came out on roller skates. Okay, he did. It was bad. And he was in some sort of a production about... It was weird. It wasn't bad.
It was weird. The star being... I love you Okay, he did. It was bad. And he was in some sort of a production about. It was weird. It wasn't bad. It was weird. The star, star beam. Starlight Express. Starlight Express. Supposedly this was a Broadway show back in the day, and he performed it in Germany. Yeah, it was painful to watch. It was weird. It was weird.
So you have, so there were theme nights every night, just like if you're at one of the Des resorts so you know who knows what night this was pirate night or toga night or whatever um so we're all like in our sec we had gone to dinner come back to our rooms change in our little sexy theme night outfits there were two bars in the like the theater area where the the dance floor was and everything so we're like there's hundreds hundreds of people crammed in this theater watching this show, and we're all in sexy mode, totally fired up to get the party started.
And the dude comes out and roller skates. And it was really quiet. No, the first thing he said was- Because people were speechless. He says, here, while I go put my skates on, here's a 10-minute video of my career. Yeah. And it was bad. It was weird. It was bad. Weird, weird. Yeah, so we were laughing at it. It was so bad it was entertaining. I know. Mr. Jones kept saying, I want to get up and trip him because this guy had roller skates on.
I know, I wanted to put a kick me sign on the back of him or something anyway okay let's move on to something nice okay the night club was fantastic was fantastic and the dj was better than what we normally get oh yeah desire because you know like at the two resorts at desire i swear they have the same playlist just looped night after night after night. You know what song's going to come on next, right? Right. These DJs were amazing. Yeah, it was really good. And in a vanilla cruise that normally about midnight or 1230, the bartenders are putting the bottles away and closing up shop.
But we would go until 3 a.m yep and we knew that because well one night we had we had a tour the next morning and we had to be off the ship at 8 30 so we were trying to be responsible we and we went to bed at two that was the earliest we went to bed the whole yeah so we went to our room brushed our teeth got in bed and we were like oh my god we are right above the lounge yes where the dancing was thump thump was going on there was no sleeping for an hour yeah but but anyway so did we what did we do do we have sex to like kill time um not that night no no no that's tragic yeah well the nightclub was great yes and and the and the dance floor was great and it was packed every night and most people had some sort of a theme outfit on yep and it was people were just having a lot of fun and kudos to desire for the way they pulled that off yes that that was top notch it couldn't have been more fun yeah and can I just say, I think I had sex on the dance floor just about every night.
I know. Except for those pesky clothes being in the way. I know. Oh my gosh. I know. We did so much dancing. And kissing. And kissing. And touching. That was some dirty dancing. And rubbing. Yeah. That was so much fun. Yeah.
It was a lot of fun oh sexy people on that ship let me tell you yeah and you know what i loved about it is that there were every age group was represented on that ship and there was no um there was no barrier like you would see a couple in their 30s dancing with a couple in their 60s and there was like and again that there would be some crazy dirty dancing going on between those two couples i mean it wasn't like you had like packs of young people and packs of older people it was people just connecting with each other yeah no it was good okay so the next item gets a 50-50 review.
Yes, the playroom was, the location was fantastic. The lighting was perfect. The beds were spaced adequately. There were a couple of little alcoves if you wanted some more privacy. So they had a ton of like twin size mattresses on the floor.
You could kick these twin beds together if you wanted to the twin mattresses together and we did that a couple times and we did yeah um but it was it was a very romantic sensual um environment so i thought the playroom itself aesthetically was fantastic but there was nobody managing the playroom right and i think reflecting back you know desire is not a lifestyle resort no not not like n.i.n or couples cruise or bliss cruise couples it's a clothing optional resort and so i don't think that they have the mindset and experience to understand how to manage a playroom like some others that we've been to.
Right. So we had to go downstairs and find towels every night and schlep them back up. And then, you know, the last night that we were there, there was nobody that said 15 minutes to go. All of a sudden, you know, the lights came on. And there was a guy standing at the foot of the bed kind of glaring at us. Yeah, with his rubber gloves on. And that, you know, that's not real sexy. They were blue. It was very apparent. Yeah. So, yeah, it was not managed as well as it could have been. But the experiences that we had up there, and we'll talk about one later, but, you know, it was a good playroom.
Yes. Right. And normally we don't do playroom. So that that's a double kudos there three or four times yeah three times three times yeah um so last but not least the best thing about the cruise the people the people oh my gosh we met the most amazing interesting sexy people yeah everybody in our kick group was amazing yes and we hung out a lot during the week we did to know each other yeah toured places during the day in france we all went to a winery together monaco we went to the grand casino together and did a lot of things we did the hop on hop off bus when in.
Okay, so I'm going to totally tell, I'm going to totally out one of our friends. Because, okay, so the hop-on, hop-off bus. All right, this is a pre-snapshot. Yeah, the hop-on, hop-off bus, if you haven't seen them in cities, it's a regular bus on the bottom, and the top is open, but there's seats on the top, and you can get on and off.
And so if the weather's nice, a lot of people people are going to go to the top it was raining a little bit the day that we went and but we were in freaking monaco who's going to sit downstairs so all of us went to the top well one of our friends was her goal was to do a sexy topless photo in every country so every day they would show us their sexy photo it might have been in a vineyard one day you know might have been you know at a winery one day or in florence one day whatever i mean all these so we're in the top of this hop on hop off bus in monaco and and this couple behind us that we became friends with she stood up her husband got his phone she lifted her top up and when she lifted her top up she put her arms all the way up in the air and about that time we went under a low hanging branch it luckily it only hit her hand and not her face but it broke her wedding ring yeah like it actually cracked the back of her wedding ring she didn't lose a stone or anything but it did crack her wedding ring and i'm telling you what we laughed and when we realized she wasn't really super injured then we all were just like rolling i mean it's like 60 degrees out it's like this fine windy mist in monte carlo yeah and we're on the top of this bus and she gets like attacked by a tree branch but she's just one of those people who is the life of the party um she's just a happy happy person and fun to be around and she took it in stride And it was easy to laugh at her because she was laughing at herself.
That was her sexy. And her husband got it on film. That was good. So, yeah. So, and then one of the other nights, what we like to do is we like to go to dinner and just get randomly seated with people because we get to meet people. We did that, I think, two of the nights.
Every other night, I think think we had a sexy day lined up but so we so we sat next to two couples one night and they were both couples were older than us um maybe by 10 or 15 years and in one case and they one couple had been was new to the lifestyle and the other couple had been in the lifestyle 40 something like 44 years 43 years so as soon as i heard that i like automatically went into interview mode oh my gosh these poor people could not chew their food we were just totally interrogating them i have got fascinating here it was fascinating how they did it and not to go go into too many details, but, you know, back then there was no Internet.
And there were some publications that were going around the state of California. And you'd had to put an ad in the back of a magazine. And then you had to put a P.O. box address so people would know where you lived. And you had to put a photograph in an envelope with a letter describing what you were looking for and mail it to a PO box. And then at least when you decided to call somebody, there was no caller ID back then. So, you know, phone numbers not going to betray your location or who you are.
Um, but anyway, what I was surprised to learn was that he said, this couple said, we weren't about key parties. We weren't about everything stereotypical either. We were about real connections, um, playing with people that we really were friends with. Um, and, and it took them a long time, but you know, once they established a core group of friends, you know, they, they were fine. So it was almost the very same mindset.
It's just that technology has evolved to the point where it's a lot easier for all of us to do this now right and then the other couple they had only been in the lifestyle two years but they were introduced to the lifestyle by yeah this other couple yeah and we just happened to be seated next to them so yeah and and actually then we found out that um one of the couples is coming to Desire with us in June.
So they knew who we were after we introduced ourselves yeah so what a fun evening talking to them and i mean talk about four people that have maintained their health i mean they're all like fit and healthy and just happy just easygoing people just really enjoying their lives and and i'm it just you know there's hope for the future mr jones there is yeah and there's too many more people to i mean we played with a couple of couples and you know how you are and that was a lot of fun everybody was fantastic yes um you know we would go to the bar everybody was so social um even on the one trip we went on in the bus it was kind of boring going to the winery but on the way back people started popping open their wine oh yeah we went on a winery tour yeah and it the winery tour is so much fun because um once we got into the winery they had these big like farm tables and they seated us kind of family style and they had like charcuterie um this winery had like 50,000 pigs and they actually made sausage and they used their wine to like flavor their sausage so it was like a charcuterie tasting as well as a wine tasting and and it was just so much fun because we sat with two other couples we hadn't met yet on the cruise.
And this was like almost the last day. And just the ability to go on these trips and make connections with people, so much fun. Yeah, so it was a success. Yes, I guess you can tell we're still pretty fired up about it. Yeah, definitely. So would we do it again? Absolutely. Yes. But what will we be doing in, what, 35 days or so? Oh, it's less than that, honey. Is it? It's like, oh, yeah. We're down to like less than four weeks. Oh. I think we're at 27 days. Okay. Or no, something like that. But yeah, we're headed to desire. Yep. All. All right. About 30 other couples that we know. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
The only other thing that we did was that we went to a meet and greet last night. Yes, we did. About an hour and a half. Well, it was supposed to be an hour and a half from our house. A Friday night in D.C. going towards the beach. In the rain. In the rain. Yeah. We left an hour early and got there a half an hour late. So that was. Oh, we got there 45 minutes late. It was painful. But it was worth it. Yes. We met some awesome people. Yes. We didn't know anybody there. Well, yeah, we did. We knew one couple. They had come to one of our meet and greets. Well, right.
But there were, what, 10 or 12 couples at the most. I think 10 couples. Right. I don't know.
we knew one couple they had come to one of our meet and greets well right um but there were what 10 10 or 12 couples at the most i think 10 couples right um so it was it was awesome because you really did get to talk to everybody i think there were two couples we really didn't have to we didn't have an opportunity to have like one-on-one conversations with yeah but most of the couples we got to talk to um which was pretty good since we like missed half of it practically due to traffic um but then we got to uh stay after and and we went to dinner with um three other couples one had to leave early because they had kid duty yeah but um yeah so there there were six of us at dinner and oh my gosh we had so much fun we did it was nice to not be hosting a meet and greet where we could just go and meet people.
Yeah. So it's nice to just be able to kind of get out on a Friday night. Yeah, and I have a confession to make. What? There may have been some, I may have accidentally put my hand under the table of the leg of the woman that I was sitting next to. I don't blame you. Thank you. Keep that going, honey. They were pretty sexy. I might have reached down a little too far and grabbed her husband's leg a couple of times, but I don't think it bothered him that much. Oh, well, I don't know.
I know after dinner was over and we were all saying goodbye i kissed him and i might have and i i kind of kissed him for a long time and then i i backed away and i said oh my gosh i'm so sorry we are like in your community because i think they live like a mile from where we yeah where we had dinner and and i think he said that it was okay but yeah i was feeling a little guilty i didn't see him pushing you away no oh yeah so thank you guys for inviting us to that we really had a great time yeah so overall um a lot of fun going to europe and the desire cruise thumbs up um just like any other event that large especially if it's only the second time there's some things they need to address but um knowing desire they'll do that the next time yes and we highly recommend they definitely have a way of making things right so they have a cruise coming up in 2019 that i think it sails out of monte carlo and i think it ends in barcelona you get to go to like abiza and san tropez and all kinds of sexy places um and then in 2020 they they just announced that like the day before we left for our cruise um they're going to do a greek isles cruise in 2020 yeah and i'm pretty sure we're in you think so oh yeah okay yeah because when c was here last month um and and we all went to the winery i remember one of the things she brought up at the winery she said so what's on your travel bucket list and my answer was greece oh and that was before desire announced the greek isles cruise so it was it was like prophetic okay yeah all right well maybe we'll go so 2020 greek isles all right so when we when we come back we are going to talk about reflecting on our lifestyle journey.
A little bit of a, maybe some nostalgia, but also some looking forward because we're on episode 50. All right. Let's go refill our wine glasses and we'll be right back. Yes, please. Mine's empty. Okay. welcome back everyone to our second segment of the evening where we are going to reflect on our lifestyle journey yep all 50 episodes of it yeah so we if you remember if you've been with us for a while way back in episode 14 i interviewed mrs jones and that episode was i think it was called mrs jones on the hot seat h-T. Yeah. Hot Seat.
So I found I was going back in our archives and trying to decide what we should do for 50. And I came across that podcast and I listened to the questions that I asked her.
And then I started thinking about how our answers would be different now than they were two years ago two and a half years ago yeah yeah so what we've been almost three years ago because that was like summertime yeah and we're headed into summertime now right so what what we did was we went back and took the same questions out of episode 14 and we are going to ask ourselves the same questions tonight yeah and see if their answers are any different yeah and you know it's really not that different honey I'm as nervous going into experiences anymore because I'm so confident, even if it's somebody we haven't played with before or, you know, that we're recently connected with, you know, of course you're anxious about that part of it, about how things are going to go with that couple and how you know and how the couple's going to handle the situation because you know there's always that wild card but i'm so confident in in the way you and i handle situations now i guess we've become pretty predictable with each other that I think that that kind of that anxiety part is gone from the situation.
Right. I agree with that. And that leads me to kind of a follow up question. OK. Are you am I in the hot seat again? Well, I mean, I'll answer to. But But based on how you just answered, this came to mind. You know, in any new relationship and in the lifestyle, it's new relationship energy. But in a marriage, you know, the first couple of years is really full of lust and excitement. Are you talking about the whole jelly bean jar thing again? Yeah. You put the jelly bean in, you take the jelly bean out, yeah. So let me ask you this. Okay.
Has the excitement, since we've been doing this for four years now, this is not new anymore. Even though it might be a new couple, the naughtiness, the excitement of this lifestyle, we've become accustomed to. So how has that changed?
Are you just as excited now as you were then or is it more ho-hum we've done this before it's not as exciting as it used to be so I'm going to go back to the whole scared thing because at first I was so scared that was that kind of played into the excitement does that make sense yeah um it was the fear like you know like when you're at the top of the hill on the roller coaster you know and you know you're you're scared but you're excited at the same time how would you know what that's like hell no i don't know i've never no that was absolute baloney on my part i know. Hell no, I don't know.
I've never. No, that was absolute baloney on my part. I know. So yeah, I don't do roller coasters, but that's kind of how this feels to me. This is my rollercoaster. Swinging is my roller coaster. Okay. Because you're getting yourself into a situation that you quickly lose control of because you're one of four people or more, if you're having a larger experience and, and you, and that one individual cannot control a situation. You can control your own way of handling the situation, but you can't control the other three or five or seven people.
Um, so I don't know i guess i'm so comfortable with the way you and i respond to situations now that part of the thrill of the chase is gone because it's not like you and i are predictable i mean it's still sex and it's still fun and it's still sexy and i love love to see you with people, whether they're women we've played with before, or whether I'm watching you experience a new lady that we've just met. That's always exciting and thrilling, but the fear part has kind of been somewhat put to bed.
I have a healthy respect for the risk we're still taking but i'm not as terrified as i used to be okay yeah does that make sense yeah okay so i mean i think that's how it's changed okay so do you want to make this fair do you want to ask me the next question so i don't end up asking you all the questions? So how would we describe our thing at this point? So our thing. Yeah. This goes to the whole we got a thing thing. Because we do have a thing. Yeah, and everybody has a thing, and it's your unique thing, and it's your growing, evolving thing.
And so our thing now, and keeping in mind, I'm separating our podcast and our, um, business side of this with our lifestyle. Thank you. That's what we're talking about. I need to keep those separate. Yeah. So our thing, I would say that, and this is almost a answer to the first question and this question at the same time. For me, I have become much more interested in people and learning about people and being around people that are just, they feel passionate about what they do.
they're open-minded, they're nonjudgmental, and they get excited about telling you what their thing is and what they're into. And in my mind, that's something that I never expected. And so my thing is, yes, it's about connecting with people. And if everything works out, you know, playing with them. That's obvious. Yeah. But more than that, and you mentioned this earlier when we were talking about the cruise, about like almost having sex on the dance floor. You know, how many couples did we make out with and dance with and touch and rub?
Oh, I feel like a slut because I it was it was a ton it was sexy and it was fun but it was it never was sex it was it was everything but but it was it was fun but have we ever done that on a celebrity cruise ship on spring break before uh no I think you're missing my point what I'm saying is that that part of it is just as fun to me as sex with somebody, but, but even a broader, the broader point I'm trying to make is that we went to dinner with these people. Um, we listened to them talk about how they engage in the lifestyle. We became friends with them.
Um, so, so to me, my thing has evolved to be, um, friendships and, and long lasting friendships and just connecting with people. And what that's helped me to do is like, we met a couple in the cruise where he's, I think he's bi curious or bisexual.
And, you know, I am so much more, um, interested in talking to people like that because I'm learning to kind of tear down these these biases that have been built into to me as I was as I was growing up and so I I'm much better now at just looking at a person as a human being and listen to them tell me what they're about and just getting interested in that. So my thing has been more intellectual and conversational and just connecting with people.
Well, I guess my point was that when I said something about a vanilla cruise, so we have so much fun on a vanilla cruise, but we were on this swinger cruise, and when we're talking about being on the dance floor and like dirty dancing with people and stuff we we weren't having sex with them um we were just having fun but how fun was that it was fun i mean that's that we were not dragging people by the back of their hair to the playroom and and making them have with us. We were just having fun with them on the dance floor. Some of that led to the playroom. Some of it didn't.
And it didn't matter. We were just all connecting as authentic people, just expressing ourselves that you cannot do in normal society. And it had nothing to do with sexual intercourse right so that's that's our thing now yeah it's more complete it's more whole it's more um relational yeah then because like you said earlier the fear is gone um you know the inexperience is gone and you're able to see um other opportunities and benefits and relating to people right and, and that's something we had no idea was in our future four years ago.
And I wouldn't classify it, in my knowledge of what polyamory is, I wouldn't say it was polyamorous. I would say that it's just connecting with other human beings in a nonjudgmental way and getting to know them. So, yeah, that's my thing. So, next question. How do you think our communication is different now? I mean, of course, you and I have the luxury of having grown children and the only person in our home to eavesdrop on a given day is our dog. Oh, and she's going deaf. Yeah, we're pretty sure our dog is deaf now. She's only seven. But yeah, I'm pretty sure she's deaf.
So really we have no one. We have the opportunity to be eating our dinner and just be able to have a frank conversation about the lifestyle.
Many couples don't have that luxury they have to kind of save it for after the kids are in bed or you know on a saturday when they have you know private time without people so um we have a lot of fluidity i guess and when we can have these conversations and they can just kind of come up whenever they need to come up but i um i'm not as afraid to like bring things up anymore like even like that first um that first hiatus we took that that like infamous eight month hiatus that we took from our first trip to desire before we started dipping our toes back in.
Um, we spent so much time talking, but each conversation was still, uh, okay, I'm going to take one more breath and then I'm going to actually verbalize that I need to say something to my husband, you know, and it was still like putting yourself out there. so now we can be eating dinner and I can husband you know and it was still like putting yourself out there so now we can be dinner and i can say you know wasn't really comfortable about this yeah you know an experience and and i um and i'm getting really good about letting some time go by because i can be a little emotional. Stop. Yeah. No.
I can get a little fired up. I hadn't noticed. Yeah. So I'm learning to not repress it, but to just let it sit. And then so that I have time to do some personal reflection on it, go on a run um i can solve all the world's problems when i'm running um and and just kind of like muddle it through so then when i actually do talk to you about it whether it's um when you come upstairs in the morning and we're both working and it's time for breakfast or you know whether it's um at at dinner or whether it's Thank you.
come upstairs in the morning and we're both working and it's time for breakfast or you know whether it's um at at dinner or whether it's when we get in bed at night i don't know i i'm not as afraid to speak out now oh okay so i i think that um we quickly developed good communication skills because we had to to survive and move on you know throughout experiences. But, but now I'm just like, okay, this is who we are now. Yeah. So when we, when we did this before, I think we even said that we were putting our relationship at risk.
And part of that risk was imagined because we had not had conversations like this before. Yeah. So our thought was, we're going to do this. Am I going to be able to talk about it? Or when I bring it up, is it going to cause a big fight? Is that fight going to put cracks in our relationship? So I agree with what you're saying. I'm saying that you bring it up now without the fear that it's going to cause all this drama and we're going to fight about it and it's going to ruin our relationship. It's just something that we need to talk about it. you bring it up. Right.
And maybe it is going to cause a little bit of drama, but it's drama that we know we're going to, it's not something dangerous. It's just some crap that needs to be hashed out.
So the fear that was there before that made you reluctant to bring things up is not there anymore right right and so the emotional energy is not you know there's not as much emotional energy just to talk about we're eating dinner we say oh by the way you know you i felt like you completely ignored me when we were in bed and then i'll take a bite and i'll say well yeah that did cross my mind let's talk about it's more, it's not casual conversation, but it's not like, okay, stop. We got to sit down. We got to hold hands. We got to stare at each other's eyes. You know, it's not, it's not that.
No, but, but we still do that. Um, you know, I, I don't want to discount the importance of our conversations now. Right. It's just easier. Right. To have the conversation. It's easier to, like, I just remember, like, sitting there and, like, to actually, like, activate my vocal cords. It was so hard. Right. And I remember sitting there thinking, why is this so hard? Right. Like, this is my best friend. This is the person that knows me better than anybody. He already knows what I'm going to say. I just need to get my vocal cords to like make it, you know, into decibels he can actually hear.
And that's what it was like 10, 15, 20 years ago in our relationship when something was like that. You knew in your head. I knew in my head I should say something. Yeah. But I was either too stubborn or it was too easy just to keep my mouth shut, or I didn't want to go through the emotional energy of having the conversation. So what do we do? We just clam up and don't say anything. So that's what, when we say the communication skills are improving, that's a good example of how it's improving. We talk about it. Yeah. Yeah.
Doesn't mean it's so easy, but but we do it so this next question is a doozy what is our level of comfort with being found out because it still blows well let's just combine this question with the next question because the next question is would we stop swinging if we are found out so well obviously that's a no so we've got we've got these questions that we asked two years before we were out yes you know and now we have been found out so okay so so explain to everybody what i said because you're the one that went back and listened so what did i say so when i asked mrs jones this question in episode 14 she said well you know i't want people to find out, but if they did, I've been in this long enough now to know what the benefits are.
So I would be able to talk about it with people. And then when I asked you, would you stop swinging? You said, well, I'd probably want to just take a pause for a minute, but I don't think that we would get out of it. And that was very prophetic because that's exactly what we did. So would we stop swinging? Obviously we didn't. And we're not gonna. We're in. And we're going to do another episode here in the near future and talk about that again.
Because when we first did episode 37 and talked about being outed, we intentionally said, you know, we're not going to go into all the details now because we're still processing a lot of this. Well, that was exactly a year ago now. And so we've grown and evolved and talked to people about that since then.
And so here here in the near future we're going to talk about now where we are a year later but ironically it hasn't stopped like the community is still very um yeah there's still a lot of interested still a lot of gossip yeah still a lot of people finding out yeah yeah um so so so i guess in high school i guess that we would answer for you all if you have not been found out don't do it yeah don't it's um we wouldn't recommend it unless unless you're passionate about it and you don't care and you're an agent for change but that's really not the role that we thought we were putting ourselves in it's just one that we ended up being in yeah yeah i mean the only blessing to the whole thing is that the the people that we care most about has have been very supportive we really haven't lost anybody close to us i'll tell you what um let's just leave it at this um we are still alive we're still married we're very happy we're still happy yeah we're still married.
We're very happy. We're still happy. Yeah. We're still in the lifestyle. So we'll talk about all that stuff that's happened between now and then. But if you look at where we are now, we're fine. And so I think the message there, and even though you can't imagine this, I know most of you are not out.
and i know the thought of this crossing your mind what you leap to is oh my god i would die or i would we would get out of this or i would be fired and you know there are a lot of things that that happen and there's some things that don't happen but the bottom line is we had each other we we we fell back in our relationship we made some decisions together we went through some tough times but we're here and you can get through it you know so you know just keep that in mind that it's not necessarily the end of the world no it's but it's not pleasant. I'm not going to sugarcoat it.
Don't get us wrong. We're not suggesting that you intentionally out yourself. No. Yeah, most of the world is not ready for this yet. It's getting better, but no, not yet. Okay. Could we get out of the lifestyle and still grow and be happy? Well, okay. It all depends on what you mean by get out of the lifestyle. Well, define it. Thank you.
and be happy well okay what it all depends on what you mean by get out of the lifestyle well define it could we stop having sex with other people sure because you know you're not so bad oh thank you you can pretty much meet all my needs i'm not so bad between you and my vibr, I got it all covered. Wow, that's really piling on. That's like when you take a sip of wine you've never had before and you go, hmm, it's not that bad. If that's the best thing that you can say. It's kind of like when I drink your scotch and I say, that's not horrible. Yeah, it's not horrible.
You're really building me up here. here no honey uh you and i have an amazing relationship and and um as as we heard at a marriage conference once we fill each other's gaps and we meet each other's needs and um i don't need other people to be fulfilled and satisfied the the other people that you and i meet and end up actually having experiences with Thank you. to be fulfilled and satisfied. The other people that you and I meet and end up actually having experiences with, obviously it's fun and it's fulfilling and it enhances our overall lives.
But it's not necessary to that core of myself that it doesn't meet one of my basic needs that I need to survive. You meet those needs. What I need to survive as a happy, healthy, balanced person comes from you.
All of our lifestyle friends, the sex with them is just the icing on the cake or the cherry on the top of the sundae or whatever you want to call it right um so i guess what i'm saying is that the the sex is almost secondary to what we have um gained from the lifestyle and that's really the the conversations and the experiences and the friendships yeah so and i'm going to just answer the question and say no. Could we get out of the lifestyle and still grow and be happy? I would say no.
Because if we got out of the lifestyle altogether, I don't know that we would continue to grow at the pace that we're growing now and be happy. Right, and we'd have to walk away from a lot of friends. Yeah, but I don't think so. But the real answer is we can't. I don't think we can get out of the lifestyle because we have so many friends and we have so many solid relationships. Do we have to have sex with them anymore? No. But that's the crux of this is that what have we learned in the past three and a half years? It's not about the sex. It's not about the sex.
And people laugh when you say that. And, you know, I sound hypocritical because we do have sex with people and we enjoy it. It's becoming less and less about that to me and to us. That's a nice to have, but it's about the relationships and the friendships that you build and the trust I mean if you were to ask me I mean if you were to ask me five years ago before I got into this what a friend is like and how many friends I had it pales in comparison to what I know about people now and what about true friendship is and true relationships are. So there's no way that I could remove that.
Those relationships are built. They're not going anywhere. They're lifelong, I suspect. So based on what I know about the lifestyle and how I define it now, I can't get out. I'm in. Can I reflect back to the cruise for a minute? Yes. So one day we went on a tour with three other couples. And we were in France. And one of the places we went was Aix-en-Provence was the name of the town.
And it had a cathedral in it that was built over um four time spans the first one was built in like 400 ad and then i think the second section of it was built in like 1100 ad and i don't know it was like finished in 1400 ad but you could see the four very distinct periods um periods of. And, and so we went in there and we were walking around and there was a pipe organ in there and it was beautiful. And there was these beautiful altars and paintings and these little alcoves. And, um, it was just a very moving experience.
And, you know, the eight of us are walking around in there and I, and I happened to be just walking around with one of the other gentlemen and it was just a very powerful moving experience, especially as American. You know, we think we Americans have so much history and our country is a pitiful 200, you know, not even 250 years old. And then we're in this building that is almost 2,000 years old. Yeah. And it's just, it's very humbling. And it makes you realize, like, just the magnitude of our universe.
And so to experience that with lifestyle friends and then get back on the ship and have a very classy you know proper dinner and then you go change into your like crazy ass theme outfits and then go have like crazy dirty dancing on the sex floor and then sex floor well okay well it should be the sex floor because that's practically what we were doing okay yeah so yeah, so I meant dance floor, but obviously you know what's on my mind. I think that's a new term. I know, right? We've got to adopt that. I know.
And then to go to the playroom and have sex with these people that just a few hours before you were in this amazing, beautiful cathedral where you feel like this very humble person. Like that's the lifestyle where you can marry all that together into these relationships that you make with people. Yes, well said. Okay. The next question is, and this is back down to, I think we were thinking about play styles when we wrote this question. Okay. Are we open to something now that we were not open to then? So open to something now that we weren't open to back in episode 14? Well, it doesn't matter.
You can answer this however you want to answer it. And something is something you can define yourself. Are you open to anything now that you were not before? So I think when we did episode 14, we had just recently become a full swap couple. Yes. So, you know, nothing's changed there. Honestly, I don't really know that that much has changed as far as our play styles. If anything, I think we've become less focused on being a full swap couple and more focused on being a in the moment couple. And we just kind of roll with the punches.
Like we went to that meet and greet last night and met all those super sexy people and then you know we we got to go to dinner with people we didn't get to have sex with anybody because we had a stinking two-hour drive home in the rain and we had to leave um but was that a sexy evening holy smokes yes it was a sexy evening you know i don't, it was a sexy evening. You know, I don't, I don't know. I, I don't know that I need to actually have intercourse with somebody to, to feel like I'm a real swinger. So, you know, are, am I open to something now that I wasn't open to something then?
I don't know. I, I don't know that I feel the need to be open to something now that i wasn't open to something then i don't know i i don't know that i feel the need to be open to something more now i'm very satisfied with what i have okay um i am i'm open um we we have said for from the beginning that we are same room uh same room couple yes Let's do this.
we have said for from the beginning that we are same room uh same room couple yes we have had i would say three or four close friends of ours have described to us experiences that they've had playing separately and in just about all of those circumstances it was their circumstances that We'll see you next time.
separately and in just about all of those circumstances it was their circumstances that caused them to be in a position to have the opportunity to play separately in other words they were in different cities somebody was on relocated for a period of time somebody was on travel for a period of time in other words it's not like our thing should be playing separately it's you have these people have trusted friends across the country and across the world they find themselves in different cities they've expressed an interest in doing something like that and and it's with people that they trust.
And so I'm not saying that I want to be, and this is not something that I want you to respond to. I'm just telling you that in my mind, if you were away and you were within a city where we had trusted friends, I would be okay with you. I would be, to answer this question, I would be open to the possibility of you playing. Now, I already know that you're not interested in that, so I don't want you to ruin my thought by answering it and saying you don't want to do that. I'm letting you talk.
I'm just saying that because I have observed the other husbands that have agreed to play separately, I know their relationships, and I know the type of people that they chose to play with, and I know that they were genuinely turned on by it, and I know that it didn't damage their relationship it actually helped them grow so I have had examples real life examples that that we have been a part of and that we know people who have who have done this and it has been a positive thing and three years ago the what I'm saying is we had no case studies about this at all no you're right so my idea of playing separately was okay hey i'm gonna go out on wednesday with somebody else and you're gonna go out on thursday with so that was my naive you know assumption of what playing separate meant but because of what i've learned from people that we know and we care about and we trust and how they've done it, I would be, now to answer this question, I would be open to it.
I don't have to have it. It's not something that I'm like, I want you to do. I'm just saying to answer this question, I would be open to that because of how it's been proven to me that it can be a meaningful thing. No, I mean, okay. So I agree with you. I mean, I, I have three couples in, in my head that I'm thinking of that we have, you know, met and talked to that have had this and two of the couples were actually quite close to. Um, so you're right.
Um, that is something that I have always been very opposed to, but after listening to, um, two couples in particular tell us in, you know, extreme detail how it, how it came about and how they dealt with it in the moment and how they process it afterwards. It's fascinating. And I trust them, and I trust their relationship. I mean, their relationships are just solid, and it's not like they're kind of wondering to fulfill a need or they're acting impulsively.
they're both making very well thought out, deliberate decisions as a couple and they're having very good experiences and very good outcomes from it. Right. However, what turns me on is something that turns you on and because you've expressed to me that that's not of interest to you, then it's not of interest to me. I'm just answering the question that I would be open to it if the circumstances were right And I'll see you next time. And because you've expressed to me that that's not of interest to you, then it's not of interest to me.
I'm just answering the question that I would be open to it if the circumstances were right, if it was the right people, and if you wanted to do it. So in other words, there are some people that we know that have the relationship where the husband or the wife would say, hey, I have this fantasy. I want you to go do that for me because I will get something out of it. That's not how I am. Because you don't want to do that, I don't have a desire for you to do that or for us to do that.
I'm just saying that I have a different view of what that's like because people we care about and know are in great relationships have done this before, and it's worked out great for them. So where uh, you know, if they play in separate rooms, that must mean, and I fill in the blank with something that's totally ignorant and wrong, which is what happens in this lifestyle time after time after time. And I'm tired of, I'm judging and, um, filling in the blanks for other people when I have no business in doing that. Wow. Okay. I don't know.
I'm, I'm, uh, I'm the one to err on the side of caution and, and to kind of like huddle in a corner and, you know, protect my relationship with you.
And, you know, my, I've said this before, and I said this before we even went to desire the first time, the biggest fear I have is that someday I'm going to do something with somebody else, and I'm going to turn around, I'm going to see a look on your face that I've done something to hurt you, and I don ever ever want to do that so i'm probably um not very brave because of that i'm just very very protective of um your opinion of me i guess i don't know yeah obviously we have not rehearsed this. Okay. We should move on. I know. Well, I'm sorry. That got really serious really fast.
What are the negative things we experience or are experiencing? So the negative things, I think the negative things are really from outside the lifestyle. Just the judgment from people. And again, it's lack of understanding. You know, I wish people that are not in the lifestyle had the ability to just kind of take a breath and listen to people that are in the lifestyle so that they could hear that it isn't about mindless sex.
And it's about these friendships that you and I have been talking about for the past hour and the opportunity to take our own relationship into places it hasn't been before. because it hasn't been strong and good but because we've never really had the um the need to do the level of reflection that we've done as we've dabbled in the lifestyle so so here's i'm gonna go deep again on you okay so here's the tissue like we have no tissues in the podcast no no sorry i'm a c go deep again on you. Okay. So here's the difference. Don't I need a tissue? Like we have no tissues in the podcast room.
No, no. Sorry, I'm a crier. No, and you're negative in what you shared about people and how they've treated us. Here's the key differentiator.
If you care enough about someone and they tell you something that you don't agree with, you have one of two ways to respond to that you either say in your mind you're thinking okay i care deeply about this person i know her she did something that i don't agree with or understand but i care about her so i'm going to say tell me more about that or explain to me why you do that why do you think that's right what are you what are you doing there's some there's some question because because i care about you as a person i can go the other direction by saying oh well you're not who i thought you were you're a sinner or you're wrong or you're you know whatever the pervert i've judged you and therefore i don't want to have any this is this conversation.
You know, we won't talk about this anymore or you're not my friend anymore. So it can go one of two different ways. And I think what you're describing is if you're in, if somebody like that is in your life and you think they care about you, but they go that direction, you have to ask yourself, do they really care about you? Um, the answer is no. Right. And if they don't, thank you very much for telling me you don't really care about me. You will be removed from, you know, from my life and I will refill that and spend time with people who really do care about me. Yeah.
Yeah we've learned that um life is too short to spend your time with people who really don't know you or want to know you or want to care about you are we glad we made the decision to give this and i'm assuming we meant the lifestyle a try absolutely i um i have been nothing but blown away by the people that we have met in the lifestyle both um on the sexy scale and on just the genuine authentic good people scale. I mean, it's just been an amazing journey. Yeah. And I'm just very thankful for every single bit of it.
And, you know, we've been through some garbage the last year, and we're still going through the garbage. But, you know, what has happened is it's made me put on my big girl panties and grow up. Yeah, right. And I think I'm a stronger person for it. I think I might have a couple extra wrinkles from it. It's not been easy. It's been painful. It's still painful. But I think I've learned a lot about who I am and what I'm capable of. Yes. Yeah.
And I'm going to, um, and you know, I'm going to say that I'm going to bring the, the, we got a thing into this a minute because you and I have always been because of in our professions and in our, in our involvement in church in the past, we are mission focused people and we want to make a difference so whether it's in our family or in our jobs or in our church or we're nurturers yeah we we want to make a difference we are we naturally want to help people um and that's part of we got a thing so am i glad that you know we gave this a try even though we've been through some tough times and we've endured a lot of that on the plus side of it, there's been many more people who have said, you know, you're making a difference.
You, you know, you're helping us do this. And so I can't answer this question strictly on just me personally, but you and I and the type of people that we are. And for every one person that yelled at us and called us names, there have been 50, you know, that have stood up and said, you know, have been on a positive influence. Oh, yeah.
You know, so putting it all in perspective, it's very easy to say that i'm glad that we did this and those are things that you don't know is going to happen unless you step out either you know there's no guarantees in life you don't know who's going to come to support you and who's going to try to tear you down but it's just encouraging because the type of people that are in this lifestyle are the type of people that are going to come and support you and back you up. Yes. And teach you what real relationships are about. And we found that out firsthand. We did. Yes.
So I think we're both agreeing on that one. Okay, the last question. What can we all learn from listening about how we have grown and changed? Or talking about how we've grown and changed. So I think the takeaway is that the lifestyle and your place in the lifestyle is a constant, consistent evolution. Whether you're a soft swap couple and you're gonna stay that way for the rest of your swinging career, or whether you are working your way up to full swap or whether you dove right in as full swap and you've stayed full swap, your play style is not what we're talking about here.
We're talking about like your mindset and, and, um, how you've grown as a couple, like how your communication skills have improved, how your, your, um, level of, of that absolute unconditional trust has, um, solidified. Obviously you had to have some level of trust to, to dip your toe in this to begin with, but, but you know, you, you test that time and time. Every time you play with somebody, you're testing that. Um, even though you're not really aware that you are, that's really what's going on.
Um, you know, that is constantly being strengthened and solidified and, and just your relationship is, um, constantly growing, I hope. I hope. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think what we can learn is that I think one of the reasons we got into this after we got into it and stayed into it is because we saw the opportunity for growth.
so if you're open-minded enough and you have a great relationship and you want to give this a try i don't understand why you would then say i will never do this or never do that because you've already proven that you're the type of person that is willing to take a bit of a risk and grow so don't make that first step and then say i'm not going to do this i'm not going to do i'll never do this i'll never do that because you're really just closing yourself back off i know those words always and never always come back to bite you in the butt yeah rather than say that say where i am right now this is what i'm comfortable with this is what i'm not comfortable with and then in another year you'll probably find that you've moved away from that position a little and it may have been an inch or it may have been a mile.
That's up to you as a person. Um, but I think we are so, uh, we, we can miss out on opportunities for growth because we use those words. Never. I will never do that. And, and, or I will always do this. And I think what we've learned and, and when I went and listened to episode 14, and I listened to some of our earlier episodes, and realized how many things now that we're doing and talking about that we said we wouldn't do or didn't understand that we could do.
And so I think that the takeaway here for those of you who are just getting into this is to understand that you want to remain open and fluid. It doesn't mean you ever have to do anything differently or do anything you don't want to do. That's not what this is about. It's about your perspective. Yeah. I think that every time you meet a new couple and have an interaction with them, whether it's a physical interaction or maybe just a social interaction and you never end up in the bedroom with them, there's something about that interaction that is going to evolve your place in the lifestyle.
Right. And it's going to evolve the relationship that you have with your partner. And I think that when we forget about that and we just kind of discount it Thank you. evolve the relationship that you have with your partner.
And, and I, and I think that when we forget about that and we just kind of discount it and just have experience after experience and don't really kind of process it and reflect on it, I think that's when the kind of, um, the danger comes in because then we've become complacent and, and I don't think we ever want to become complacent as swingers um that's where you're going to get into trouble right yeah okay episode 50 think we'll make 50 more i think so good answer i know we might be old and have walkers or something by then i don't know. Hopefully not. Yeah.
Hey, after having dinner with those four people that have been swinging, well, the couple that's been swinging for 40 something years. Yeah. Hey, I am like all in, like they are my role models. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. Okay.
Well, thanks for coming along for the, you know, there are a few of you who have been there with us from the beginning yeah there are some of y'all are trying to catch up yeah there are more of you who came in later and started at episode one and then there's a whole bunch of you that have joined us recently but you know for those of you who have been there for 50 episodes especially we thank you for coming along we celebrate this episode with you and we hope you'll hang around for another 50 more yeah so when we come back we have snapshots you do yes We'll be right back.
welcome back to our snapshot segment we have so many snapshots but mr jones only lets me do one per episode correct all right so you go first okay so we had um we had spent the whole the cruise was on its last day we came back to rome friends of ours that we met were coming back to rome too so the four of us shared a transportation and then on the way back to the city we decided the four of us would go sightseeing during the day and we only had 24 hours yep because we had to get up go to the airport their hotel was like right across the street from ours so yeah yeah so so we and we knew them we had met them before and they they came on one of our trips before and we had gone the whole week and we had had dinner with them and we had traveled with them, but we hadn't played with them.
But we had played with them before. So we knew, the four of us knew we wanted to. Yeah, that we were saving that for that night. And so we toured Rome the whole day, which was freaking amazing. But that's a whole nother podcast. And then halfway through the day, he kind of took a phone call and he stepped off to the side and then he came back and he said, hey, I hope you don't mind, but I just made dinner reservations for the evening and did you guys like to go to dinner? And we said, well, sure.
So after a full day of sightseeing and then we went to dinner at this, probably the most amazing dinner experience I've ever had with the food and the service and overlooking the Vatican. It was like a five diamond Michelin star. Yeah, it was ridiculous. It was a stupid, amazing dinner. And we had this dinner. Then we went back to our hotel. Well, the hotel that we stayed in, which is right near the Pantheon, um, you know, when we think of hotels here in the U S you're taking 150, 250 rooms. This hotel had what? 12 rooms, 14, 15, 15 rooms. Yeah.
And, uh, it was a quaint little place and the room that we got was amazing. It was beautiful. So. So we brought them back to our hotel, and the gentleman who was working the front desk, Marco, they had a little loft, and we said, why don't we get a drink? And he goes, oh, okay, I'll be right up. So what Marco does is he finds out what you want to drink, and then he carries it all up to the loft, and he makes the drink for you. Yeah, they had a bar up there, but. It wasn't stocked.
stocked yeah it wasn't fully stocked yeah so so he finally made these four drinks and he was a very nice guy and we sat up just the four of us though the place was empty and we we sat up there and had a nightcap and then we decided to go back to our room so we went back to our room and um we i'm gonna i'm gonna talk a little bit out of order here but so we ended up we ended up playing with them and we had a great time um very sexy uh great connection well we had like over a week of foreplay yeah i swear and we and we know them really well and we got to know them even better on the cruise so the play time was amazing so my snapshot is all of a sudden the phone rings and i pick up the phone mr jones this is marco and i said yes yeah okay um are your friends and i said yeah are they in the room with you and i said yeah and he said they're leaving soon right and And then I realized, I wonder if he thinks that we're trying to get them to sleep here for free or something.
I don't know what he was thinking. And I said, oh, don't worry. They have a hotel right across the street. Yeah, they're going to be leaving soon. They're just visiting us. And I got off the phone laughing, saying that Marco was, I don't know if he had cameras in the room or what was going on, but yeah, your friends, are they in there with you? They're leaving soon, right? That was kind of the, you know, the cap, that was the night cap of the end of the whole evening. But anyway, we really had a great time. We did. You know the irony of the whole thing?
uh anyway we really had a great time we did you know the irony of the whole thing so that night we i got out my little swinger bag of when it was time to play and of course we had a beautiful king-size bed in the room and i had gotten out my vibrator and lube and had them on the bed kind of ready to go along with condoms or whatever else and when we got home we have yet to find my vibrator and lube i know yeah so i'm pretty sure that marco found it the next day yeah pretty much just uh solidified all of his uh imagination yeah oops sorry marco Okay, what's your Snapchat?
Okay, so my Snapchat, Snapchat, sorry, wrong thing. imagination yeah oops sorry marco okay what's your snapshot okay so my snapchat snapchat sorry wrong thing that's an app my snapshot was on the ship friends we had met kind of hung out with a good bit during the week we went to dinner with them um that night there was, um, instead of having dessert, they had a dessert buffet set out on the, uh, I don't know, like the coffee area or whatever. And, um, they had a big ice sculpture and the ice sculpture for the desire cruise was a big ice penis. Yeah. It was hilarious. A very erect ice penis.
Yeah, a very erect, big ice penis yeah it was hilarious erect yeah a very erect huge ice penis so of course i had to get my picture taken looking the ice penis which i think every lady on the ship got her picture taken looking the ice penis yes so it was just it was a fun relaxed evening with this couple that we had been hanging out with all week. And so we went to the disco and then we ended up playing with them. And I remember one of the first things that we said when the four of us got to the playroom, we were kind of all trying to get comfortable with each other.
Um, cause we had just met them. We, on the cruise, we, we didn't know them before. So this was our first play experience with them and they said we really like to have fun and and laugh a lot when we play and I was like okay well so do we you know so this is going to be you know a good fit and a fun time and at one point during the play session I just remember um I had the vibr I lost in Rome. So this was like probably two or three days before that I was using my vibrator on my new lady friend and her husband was down with me.
So I'm like, you know, I'm laying on my belly and I'm using my, my vibrator on her and he's laying next to me on his belly, like with his arms propped up. And I'm like, so show me what your wife likes. Where does she want me to hold it? Does she want me to hold it still? Does she want me to move it around? Is this enough lube? So I'm asking him all these questions. And then she's laying on her back just like being pampered. And you were up there with her. I don't know if you were kissing her mouth or playing with her boobs or whatever, but you were keeping her entertained up top, I guess.
And I just remember he and I laying there. It was almost like a middle school slumber party or something. I don't know.
Like we both had our elbows propped up and here we are like playing with her clit with my vibrator and and he and i are just like you know having this conversation about how to please his wife and it was just and we were laughing and it was just so much fun and then she had a great orgasm and then we all had sex so yeah yeah so it was really fun i mean but that's what i loved about it you know they were like well so we like to laugh and have fun i hope that's okay yeah i'm like yes yeah well like you Thank you. But that's what I loved about it.
You know, they were like, well, so we like to laugh and have fun. I hope that's okay. I'm like, yes. Yeah. Well, like you say, if you're not having fun. You're not doing it right. And we definitely were doing it right that night. Oh, my gosh. What a fun evening. And yeah, it was some pretty serious hot sex, too. It was. Yes. Lots of new friends. Great experiences. Okay.
So let's wrap up 50 okay um before we close uh we are attending uh just for dinner i know in washington dc yeah so like three years ago we had the privilege of attending the inaugural just for dinner we talked about that on episode nine yes so this is do you know george we do know George now. Yes, and he's not Do You Know George anymore, but we'll talk about that later. Right. This is a Just for Dinner event is the name of it now. And he's coming back to D.C. at the beginning of June. It's June 8th. 8th, 2018. For those of you listening to the future, you can just disregard this. Right.
But if you're if you can make it to dc or you're in the dc area yes we're going so we'd love to have dinner with you we sure would yeah so hopefully we'll see you there if you need information we'll have a link to just for dinner on our website it's a great experience for sure it is um we talked a lot about our new we got a thing membership. We would love for you to join us. It's growing fast and the more the merrier. Yep. So visit our website, which is wegotathing.com, and click on the membership area and learn more about that.
And we have our full lifestyle course, of course, that's available. Yes, we do. On our website as well.
Yep well yep and our course comes in the full package or you can buy a piece at a time we our course is basically consists of six modules and we do offer the modules individually if you just kind of want to pick and choose yes um and then we have our little mini courses too we do yeah so we have no matter where you are in the lifestyle your level of experience we think we hope that you'll find something there that's going to be helpful absolutely um so join us on cassidy if you're looking for a dating site and join our community we can interact with you there that's right or sdc yes or we just establish a community on apg if you're in the mid-Atlantic area.
Yeah, APG is Alt Playground. And that's a website that's more targeted in this region. So it's Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia, North Carolina, some. But it's mostly the mid-Atlantic area. And so we have a presence there, too. If you want to email us, you can email me at MrJones, M-R-J-O-N-E-S, at WeGotAThing.com, W-E-G-O-T-T-A-T-H-I-N-G. Or you can email me at MrsJones at WeGotAThing.com. Or you can follow us on Twitter. Yes. At WeGotAThing.
And, and you know don't forget to check out our new website yes because we're pretty excited about it it's pretty slick yes so thanks for listening we are mr and mrs jones and we got a thing what's your thing We'll see you next time.
