Discussion Topic- In this episode we discuss how we see the lifestyle bumping up against real life. Personally we are becoming more "out" as swingers, more and more mainstream media is reporting on swinging and the lifestyle community seems to be growing rapidly. What does this all mean? Listen in to find out! Mentioned in this episode: Our online lifestyle course- Navigating Your Lifestyle Journey The Joneses Interview- Leading Questions w/Calvin Moore Podcast Swinger Diaries Interview- The Together Podcast Swinging Downunder Interview- Share a Slice with Sean Podcast GQ Magazine Article: Inside the Clothing-Optional Resort of Your Swinging Dreams Prevention Magazine Article: I Took My Husband to a Clothing Optional Resort and Here's What Happened Maxim Magazine Articles: Welcome to One of the Raunchiest Party Spots on the Planet and Welcome to the World's Kinkiest Cruise Line The Today Show with Megyn Kelly: Are Non-monogamous Relationships on the Rise?
Transcript
This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-pos positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us?
hello everyone i'm mr jones and i'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 47 of the we got a thing podcast and i got a song title in the title of our podcast this month i'm so excited good for you the title of this month's episode is blurred lines real life meets the lifestyle okay what's that mean well first of all blurred lines is like our swinger song honey yes it is right isn't it i mean like robin thick's song blurred lines was like super popular when you and i went to desire the first time we were just dabbling in the lifestyle and they're still and they're still looping the same music video i know the same video plays when we go four years later but it's still a good song and it's relevant like the lines are blurred yes yes so yes real life meets the lifestyle so we're going to kind of dive into that tonight from a good three or four perspectives, I think.
Yeah, a lot's been going on. Yep. But first, let's do some announcements. Okay. All right. So we have a meet and greet coming up. Yes, in two weeks. Yes. If you're listening in the present and not the past or the future, our next meet and greet is March 24.
And we've had quite a few people express an interest and we sent down invitations and we're looking forward to that that's right and one of these days we are going to start traveling and doing some um not just local meet and greets but some around the country meet and greets but yeah we're still working on stabilizing these three businesses yeah as soon as my sexy bookkeeper tells me that my cash flow statement is yeah i need some more clients so yeah i'm working on it okay yeah so we have a few trips coming up but um our june and november desire trips are both full yes we have quite a few people on the wait list which is kind of exciting yeah you know what some people are doing on the november trip we've got about a half a dozen people on the wait list but now people are starting to book rm for the same week oh and what are they going to do a day pass over or something well they're either going to do a day pass over or just have their own party or we'll go over there for an afternoon hey we could do a day pass yeah we'll do we haven't been to rm in a couple years yeah we can do it for free yeah yeah so maybe we'll do that so if you can't get in to pearl i mean book you want to book rm go ahead and book it and let me know and then i'll i'll collect the rm people together and let you all know who you who each other is and then we'll come over there for a day yeah and you know it sometimes desires it it's kind of interesting you know that the website will say they're full and we know we have like i think we have like eight or ten people on the wait list for november yeah and i think we have some on the wait list for june but i i've heard people say well if you just pick up the phone and call, sometimes you can get in.
So I don't know. But if you're interested in going, you know, get yourself on the wait list. And then if you want to make a phone call, fine. But hopefully, you know, things will happen and you'll be able to get in at some point. Yeah. I think there are a few cabins left on the cruise for next month, though. Yeah.
I think yeah you know from because i actually went online and i was looking at like the availability and i think i only saw like you know three or four cabins that were not already taken but hey if a cabin's open it's open yeah i think they're all veranda cabins so it's not like you'll be stuck in the middle of the ship. Yeah. We are so excited. We're starting, we've got a kick group that's starting up of the couples that are traveling with us and some friends that we know that are going. Yep. And we're practicing theme nights. Yes, and we're getting ready. Oh, what?
We're getting ready to put a kick group together for our June trip, too. Yes, we are. Yeah. So what else is going on? We got a master class that we put together. Yes. Actually, we just put it out. It's going to run. We're doing it Sunday night. Yeah, but this podcast is, when they hear this, it's in the past. Oh, that's right. What we want to say is that we are periodically going to offer this master class. Yeah, I think we're going to do it weekly or bi-weekly at least. Yeah.
And so, you know, hopefully if you want to kind of see what we have to say that's non-podcast related and kind of, I guess, more structured format, the master class might be something that you'd be interested in.
It an overview of our course that we offer but it's free yeah i think it's about what 55 minutes long or something like that so it's not a huge commitment yeah so we'll be putting information about the master class out on twitter and in our newsletter so just keep an eye open there and you'll see an invitation so So keeping up with the Joneses, what's going on in, it's March, but what's, what happened in February of 2018? Well, in February 2018, you and I decided to do the Whole30 diet. Oh my gosh. And it was your idea, I swear. No, it wasn't my idea. Yes, it was.
No, our friends, like, that's all they talked about when we spent the weekend with them at the cabin. Right. It was this whole 30 crap. But they talked about how amazingly effective it was, right? Yeah.
And it wasn't just that they lost weight, it was that they felt better and their joints felt better and they had more energy and look i can do without the bread i can do without the sugar i can do without some of the carbs but this alcohol no alcohol is killing me i know we're totally cheating tonight i know well we're using the podcast as an excuse to drink yeah so i've had a half a martini and i think i'm half in the back well we only have one more week to suffer through this um well it's more than one more week yeah we're taking a break because we're running a race next weekend yeah yeah so we're going to be going away and staying in a beach house for, what, three nights?
Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. We're totally going to cheat. We are. Oh, and the other thing we can't have is cheese. I always said if there was like one food group that I could live on, it would be cheese. Yeah. And I haven't had cheese in like over two weeks. Well, I think they ought to just put people in prison on Whole30 and that would rehabilitate them. Mr. Jones, that's rude. It's like torture. It's easier to say what you can eat than what you can't eat. Now, have you been hungry? No. Have I made anything really gross? Yes. What? That's squash that you try to turn into spaghetti. That's nasty.
AKA spaghetti squash. Right. Yeah, that's nasty. You don't try to turn it into spaghetti. That's just, that's the way it comes out after you roast it. And then you tried to pass off cauliflower as rice. It was good. Cilantro, lime, cauliflower, rice. It was tasty. And then we had potato pizzas. I have to admit, you're pretty creative. Oh, when you can't have cheese and you can't have pasta. Well, you got to be a little creative. The only reason I, I decided I wanted to try it. I mean, everybody can use it, lose a few pounds.
That wasn't the main reason but it was the fact that um this lady said that she was having uh pains in her knees her joints and then when she stopped eating legumes or nuts or beans or whatever it is it's beans and i've been i've been having trouble with my knees and as a runner i you runner I'm trying to protect them and so after like five days I noticed I was squatting down playing with the kids and I stood up and my knees didn't hurt so it was worth it so it's not the alcohol it was the beans or peanuts or something I something. I'm adding back in alcohol.
Okay, so we cheated last weekend too. We actually went brewery hopping. Yeah. That was like the ultimate no-no. We're not going to go nuts on this thing. No. Yeah. And we're still doing okay. I mean, we're eating the food properly, but the alcohol, that's kind of a deal breaker. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, there's one more thing. You know, we got a lot of feedback on the whole you accusing me of throwing things away. I know. But we didn't give everyone the punchline that you actually did find the computer cord. Do you want to tell everyone where you found the computer cord?
In my desk drawer, right where I was supposed to be, under a pack of post-it notes. Okay. Just wanted to get that on record. Hey, I admit it. Yeah. Yeah. Right in your desk, in your door where you sit every day. But you're an anti-hoarder, aren't you? Oh, yeah. Okay. So you admit it. Yeah. You like to throw things away. I like to discard things, recycle, throw them away, or give them away, or take them to Goodwill. Yes. I don't like to keep them in the house. But we have a need for that cord, I wish. Anyway, we've hashed this out. Let's not do this again.
Just thought people would be interested to know the conclusion of that story well and and the other big update is that you moved the podcast room i did yeah we moved into a larger room because i put my office in a different room so then that means that we put the massage table and the revel sex chair back in the what used to be the podcast room which is closer to the playroom so that's true Logistically. So now that's just like a room of decadence. Yes. The sex chair and the playroom. That's true. Logistically. So now that's just like a room of decadence. Yes.
The sex chair and the massage table all in one room. Yeah. And, well, we're going to talk about when we went away, but I wanted to take the sex chair with us because we haven't used it yet on more than just two people. Right. But it wouldn't fit in a car. No.
Yeah, so we're going to have to work on getting people into our house yeah you know just for like case studies i know i know so if next people that come over you're gonna be in the sex chair that's right whether you like it or not we'll feed you steak but you got to get in our sex chair yeah so let's go on to keeping up with the joneses yeah so we actually had a local date we did yeah yeah it was kind of a last minute thing it was a super last minute thing like we were already in the car on the way to dinner yeah we they texted us and we said well we're going to dinner in this part of town and they were going to be in the same part of town but they had already made reservations right and they had a babysitter that they were waiting on and yeah and that kind of stuff so we were already on our way to dinner so you and i just had dinner and um and then afterwards well i think we had just finished eating and they texted us and they said um just left home for the restaurant and we knew the restaurant they were going to they were not going to get into yeah because i think we parked in front of that restaurant and it was like well it was a lot of back and forth and we started dinner before we they did in one restaurant and then they were later and then anyway we hooked up and went out to a wine bar afterwards afterwards and had a couple of drinks yeah and we had so much fun because the other husband was like really into to like craft cocktails.
And so am I. Like I, you know, I want to be a mixologist when I grow up. So you and the other lady, oh, you guys ordered oysters. Oh, that's right. Right. So you guys were like all gaga over these oysters. And you guys were just like pounding down those oysters. And the other husband and I were talking to the bartender. And he was telling us about how to get certified as a bartender and the criteria he looks for. And he had made all of these like homemade simple syrups that he made these craft cocktails with. And like I had a drink that had homemade grapefruit bitters in it. Yeah.
It was amazing.
Well, by the looks of them, you know know what you need the first thing you need to be a bartender you need he had like a pretty impressive beard yeah yeah i can't really do that you have to have an apron and a beard and an earring oh yeah and then you're qualified to he was cute though he was pretty sexy yeah i liked him yeah we kind of screwed up that night though because we it was late we stayed up really late and then we had at least two drinks at that place maybe three oh yeah because you and i ate dinner at a brewery so we had a couple beers and then i think i had two or three drinks yeah at that place yeah and since we don't normally play on the first date when we walk we all four walked out and we said goodbye and we went to our car and they went to their car.
And as soon as you, we were in the car for like three minutes and you were asleep. I know I was tired. I mean, it was like what? One o'clock, two o'clock in the morning. Yeah. And then my phone rings, my phone rings and it's her, the lady from the couple.
And she said, um, did you all want to extend the evening and then my phone rings my phone rings and it's her the lady from the couple and she said um did you all want to extend the evening and then being the typical guy I looked over at you and you were sleeping I wasn't asleep yet you were groggy yeah and I said yeah we do and then I got off the phone so they were going to come to our house yeah yeah and then I got off the phone you fell asleep. And I was like, okay. I mean, I wasn't opposed to it at all. But then we had like, what, a 20-minute ride home? Yeah. And I fell asleep.
And then when I woke up, I could not rally. I was a mess. Like I just, like my head, I don't know. I don't think I was drunk. I was just tired. So I had to make the call, be the bad guy. Yeah. Yeah. And apologize. So sorry, guys. I know. We'll have to plan that better next time. Yeah. I mean, we don't live terribly far apart, so we can make that happen. Then we went away for the weekend. And we told you all last month that we were going away with three couples that are good friends of ours.
Yes went to the to the mountains of virginia and we stayed in a cabin it was a real cabin like a log cabin it was beautiful yeah it was really nice it was fun it had what like five bedrooms and it had a pool table and a hot tub foosball table foosball table it had a really cool kitchen grill on the deck oh my gosh it was so cool looked over the valley very very pretty yeah lots of room oh a wood stove downstairs which which turned out to be the play area yes so in the afternoon the guys would get the wood stove going so it was nice and toasty i know gotta make sure those those ladies would be willing to take their clothes off huh yeah that wasn't a problem down there no no it wasn't there was a lot of shit going on i was thinking at first you know because we spent three days there and i was thinking wow three nights yeah so i'm thinking wow you know is what three nights hmm that's a lot you know and and I mean these are really good friends of ours so I knew we would have fun but I'm like you know it's gonna be like same old same old you know and it's not like desire where new people come and go and all this stuff it was just gonna be like the eight of and we had i don't even know how the time went by like it was crazy like it just went by so fast and it was so much fun yeah we didn't get on each other's nerves it was relaxing we all had our chores to do like everybody like everybody kind of signed up for a meal and um so the food was all taken care of like we never went out to dinner we didn't have enough room for our all of our booze i know that was kind of crazy yeah we well everybody brought like a signature cocktail and um we had like a cooler of beer out on the back porch and it snowed one day we were there it was so pretty and you almost died i almost died oh yeah on our five mile run up the mountain well right i mean this wasn't hilly like we were in the mountains and the like i guess i don't know if it was a neighborhood or whatever but where this cabin was when you turned off of the main road which was a two-lane road with no shoulders the main road that was like the third road then it was a gravel road up the side of a mountain to this cabin and we went running one morning it was about a half a mile up yeah it was it was seven tenths of a mile up actually and so we went running and i i was like i want to do four miles we're like okay so it was it was seven tenths of a mile up actually and so we went running and i i was like i want to do four miles we're like okay so it was a another lady and mr jones and i so i ran you know two miles out and two miles back and then we had to run we had to get back to the cabin which was seven-tenths of a mile up this gravel road.
And I was just like dying you know what it was it was the bacon and eggs so we ate breakfast and then like 20 minutes later we were running i really thought i was gonna throw up i know that would have been such a waste of good bacon like i couldn couldn't even like, like I had to stop and just stand there. It was that bad. It wasn't even like I could walk up the mountain. I think the only thing that we need to say to sum this up is last month we did a podcast on staying connected. Yeah. And this was the opposite of that because, you know, everybody knows each other.
Everybody's comfortable with each other. It was relaxing. You had plenty of food, plenty Yeah. And this was the opposite of that because, you know, everybody knows each other. Everybody's comfortable with each other. It was relaxing. We had plenty of food, plenty of alcohol, plenty of things to do, plenty of company. We had a good time. Yes. It was very relaxing. Yes. Exactly what the doctor ordered for me. Yes. Yeah. So, it's about time to get on with our topic. I guess it is. All right. When we come back, Mrs. Jones is going to explain time to get on with our topic. I guess it is. All right.
When we come back, Mrs. Jones is going to explain to you. Blurred lines. What this means. welcome back to segment two of our podcast tonight blurred lines real life meets the Lifestyle. And that, I can't, it's weird. It's weird how stuff like this happens. But, you know, we've had some stuff going on in our personal lives. And then you turn on the TV in the morning, or you open up the iPad in the morning, and you see the news and then you start seeing like how, um, normal everyday life is talking about ways you can participate in or consensual non-monogamy. And it's like, wait a minute.
Like, you know, there used to be like the vanilla world and then the swinger world and there wasn't a lot of swirl. And now all of a sudden it seems like there's a lot of swirl. So from our perspective, what we're saying is that we've recently noticed, and this is not one of the topics that we had in line to do. It just kind of came up. No, Mr.
Jones has this extensive trello board with all of this pipeline of topics and all of a sudden he actually like threw that to the wayside and yeah so things have been changing in our personal lives yes with as far as people knowing what we do and then we've noticed that um through the newsletter that, you know, we're looking across social media a lot. We get a lot of emails and we're really in touch with the Lifestyle Podcast community.
And it just seems like that there have been a lot of, and we're going to talk about this more, But a lot of articles and a lot of things on TV and in print and on social media where people in real life are becoming more aware of of this lifestyle. Right. And then we've noticed things from within the lifestyle community. People are being wanting to be a little bit more outspoken and involved from the community standpoint.
So all three of these things seem to be converging at one time and we thought it was interesting enough to share right so a little bit of backstory for those of you that don't um listen to us on a regular basis or really know kind of our our journey um about 10 months ago we were outed in our community and um and it was a a pretty tough time in our lives, Mr. Jones and I have lived in our community for over 30 years and we're very involved and, um, we have a lot of family here and a lot of longtime friends here.
And, um, and we really struggled on, um, how to deal with the fact that we had some people find out about the fact that we were in the lifestyle and they, um, they didn't take it well. And, um, there was a, there was just a lot of, um, anger and confusion and misunderstanding. And, um, as a result of that, I, I, we talked about that in episode 30, right. Episode 37, we went into a lot of painful detail about it. So 10 months later, you know, I've changed careers. I retired from what I was doing in the community and I'm self employed now. And Mr.
Jones actually took the opportunity to become self employed as well. And we've turned our podcast into a business and we're, we're figuring out a way, um, to, to generate revenue from that. So put the three businesses together and that's kind of like the bulk of our energy right now, I guess. Yes. And in the meantime, the rumor mill has been. No, the gossip mill. The gossip mill. Because the rumors are true. Yes. We are in the lifestyle. Yeah. We are swingers. Right.
And we decided intentionally back then not to try to put the genie back in the bottle well you can't put this genie back in the bottle because it's true right and we decided that it this isn't something we wanted to run away from um is it embarrassing in some in some regards it is because it's our sex life. And when people in your everyday life hear things about your sex life, um, that's, that's just atypical. Um, I, I, even if we weren't in the lifestyle, you know, you might make references to your sex life.
Um, but really you don't talk to your everyday so-called vanilla friends about the intimate details of your relationship with your significant other um so you know our our podcasts obviously we do that and um some people in our vanilla lives have heard the intimate details of our sexual life together and um it's been somewhat uncomfortable and that's putting it really to the least so um we thought that uh when we were first out it it kind of had died down and and it was what it was well that that's not the case and there is a um definite undercurrent of gossip in our community yes and more people know about our activities than we realized yes and um luckily the people that are close to us that we have considered genuine friends have taken the news in stride and they realize that we are still Mr.
and Mrs. Jones, so to speak. You know, they know us. We're still the people that they knew. Exactly.
And it has not changed our relationship with them right um people maybe on the outskirts of our inner circle we've talked about that before on previous podcasts about like the concentric circles of relationships you have with people um people on those outer circles obviously don't understand what we're doing and um i guess they don't care about us enough to ask right so therefore they're judging yes and um and i'm sorry i'm sorry that you're finding out things about us that um you find shocking and that you don't understand but we're the same people and I and I'm not going to change what I'm doing to change what I'm doing to change somebody's perception of me because that perception is there.
Like Mr. Jones said, we can't put this genie back in the bottle. So Mr. Jones and I are just trying to learn how to live our lives knowing, how do I say this, knowing what we know that people know about us. Yes. Yeah. Well, and so to look forward a little bit, I think what we've decided to do is, you know, I mean, let's admit it. I mean, it's gossip. Gossip is always going to happen. And it's a salacious piece of news. Yes, it is. So we can't do anything about that, and we accept the fact that people are doing that, and that's fine.
But what we can do is look forward and kind of embrace this role that we find ourselves in because we did decide to stay in this and go forward so you know we accept the fact that we are lifestyle ambassadors for the community and and now we're lifestyle educators right and that's what we're embracing and that's the direction that we've we've headed especially with you know offering more and more content with we got a thing and and even branching out into some revenue generating things that this is the direction that we're headed.
And you know, we've gotten some pretty good counsel from the people that we have talked with. Yes. I mean, I've, I've been pleasantly surprised because our, our first encounter with people that found out was, it was, it was negative and it was harsh and it was hurtful and it was very confusing and now when we tell people or people find out and and then we reach out to them I mean if they care about us they're like really okay with it. Do they understand it and do they want to jump on board? No. That's not what we're asking them to do. Right.
But we just want them to recognize that we're still the same people and they're able to do that. So I guess this is a barometer to find out who your true friends really are.
Well, and I think because that first experience we had with people finding out was so harsh our perception was that that's how it was going to be with other people right and it has not been with anyone no and and people our friends are telling us you know what you guys just need to be yourselves you know you need to live your own lives right and you know it's good for people it's good for us to hear that it's good to for people to say you know what um you're you seem to be stuck go ahead and embrace what it is that you're doing and move forward and live your life right and so that's what we're doing i kind of think i have been like paralyzed for the past few months yeah someone someone described it as we've put ourselves in purgatory.
You know, we're actually is kind of true. Yeah. We're, we're like halfway in between. We just need, we can't go back. So we just need to go forward. Yeah. Yeah. And so I think this podcast is about us taking another step forward, but it's also about the lifestyle community and the reality of mainstream, um, also picking up on what this lifestyle is. Yeah. So where do we start?
Well, you know, ironically, about a week before, um, I realized that the rumor gossip mill was back in action, we were contacted by a non-lifestyle podcast to be interviewed on their show yeah and um and we agreed to do it and it was a super experience yeah and their podcast of course every we've been asked to do this before and we've turned some down because it really needs to be the right fit but when he said look you know our question to you is going to be basically you know what do people in non-traditional relationships know that the rest of us don't know so it was more of a curiosity like okay you're doing this thing um you seem to enjoy it so what is it about that that we need to know because we don't know about it right and the name of the podcast that we were on is called leading questions with calvin moore and um it's just it's a great format um they they really um it's really bringing back the beauty of the art of debate yes um in a very respectful way the the way debate is supposed to happen where you can have opposing views and you listen to each other and you respond with with respect and and then and then insight from the what the other person is saying right which is somewhat lacking in our society yeah i mean let's face it we live in was, we live in Washington, D.C.
Yes. It's a polarizing time in this country. So his podcast is the opposite of that. You take a very controversial topic and then you have an honest, open debate where you're not afraid to give your opinion or defend your opinion because it's going to be received not necessarily with agreement, but at least with respect. Yes. So he decided to interview swingers. Yes. And we're going to, by the way, we're going to have all of the links to everything that we're about to talk about, including this podcast with Calvin Moore in our show notes. Yes. And it was in our newsletter as well.
So if you don't know about it, then you didn't open the newsletter oh busted yeah yeah so that so that's what's really been going on with us and this in this podcast we were asked to do was just the first thing that happened in a series of of events the set that the next thing that we noticed was all of a sudden, let's go back to November when we were at Desire and the management there was astounded by our group and how much fun we were having.
And at that point in time, we sat down and he said, you know, we're planning two new resorts because this is becoming mainstream and we can't keep up with the demand. And that was an early indication that this was growing from that source. I mean, if you think about it, like the June week and the November week are already sold out, and right now we're at the beginning of March. Yeah.
Then we started noticing on social media and the research that we do for our newsletter that these magazine articles started popping up about the lifestyle right um a few months ago maybe this was last um last summer last summer last fall yeah yeah gq magazine did an article called inside the clothing optional resort of your swinging dreams and it was an article about Desire Pearl. Yes. And it wasn't a bad article. I thought, you know, there was a few things in there that people may have disagreed with. But all in all, it was a fairly well-received article. Right.
I mean, everything he described, I could see happening at a resort like Desire. Right. Then, coincidentally, the week that we were there in November, there was a lady there named Sarah Dobie Bauer, and she wrote an article for Prevention Magazine, and it was called, I took my husband to a clothing optional resort, and here's what happened. And she published that in December, the month after we got back from Desire. And hers was very positive. And her article was focused more on the people and not the resort. Yeah, I was really surprised about that. She barely described Desire at all.
But she spent a lot of time talking about the people that she met and the interactions they had and, you know, and what kind of conversations it opened up between she and her husband. Right, right. And then there were two, recently there were two articles written and published in Maxim magazine. And they were by the same author, right?
Yes, the same author and one was from october of last year um and it was about it was called um welcome to the world's kinkiest cruise line and it was a it was pretty much an article about the seven day desire cruise in october or september it was september yeah the one that um was out of venice right and that article was was fairly positive as well um you know then the same author uh wrote uh another one called the bachelorette party at hedonism two which was published in actually febru February last month. Welcome to one of the raunchiest party spots on the planet.
This one, the experiences that she shared weren't so positive about the people and the experience that she had at Hedonism. Right. Well, then like a couple, I think it was a week ago, I was doing my work early in the morning, and... But you had your iPad on the Today Show, like, just come and confess. All right, so, like, I have a big desk, and I have my laptop, and I'm doing my work, and then I have my iPad set up, and I have the Today Show on. So I'm working, and the Today Show is just, I don't like a quiet house. Like, I've't like a quiet house.
Like I've got to have the radio on, I've got to have the TV on, I got to have something on, not so I can sit and watch it, but just so I've got to have noise in the background. I don't know. I just can't stand a quiet house. So anyway, I had the Today Show on and Megan Kelly has a segment on from nine o'clock to 10 o'clock now. So I wasn't really paying attention. And then I hear her say consensual non-monogamy. And I'm like, say what?
So I immediately stop working and I look at the iPad and sure enough, down at the bottom, she had, um, two professionals on one was a sex therapist and one was a psychologist.
and they have both done extensive studies with various forms of consensual non-monogamy whether they were polyamorous relationships or whether they were couples that would like date and play separately or swinger couples or you know just whatever flavor you can think of um she was kind of like delving into this and she dedicated the whole hour to it you could have knocked my socks off yes like nbc mainstream nine o'clock all these housewives are watching consensual non-monogamy yeah and then i had come up the stairs about that time and you said you need to watch this oh my goodness and by the way it's called it was it was on march 2nd of 2018 and it's a the title was our non-monogamous relationships on the rise hey so let's take a pause here so we talked about the feedback that we got from desire resorts yeah.
We talked about GQ Magazine, Prevention Magazine, Maxim Magazine, and then Today Show. And we talked about the fact that we were on a podcast. What we observed is that, first of all, there's this bumping into, the lifestyle is bumping into real life. Right. On many different fronts. Right. And we're asking ourselves, is this coincidence? But then, you know, when NBC is going to mainstream an hour about non-monogamy, it must be more than just a flash in the pan. Yeah, yeah.
So, but one thing that we observed is that the people, whether it's Megyn Kelly or whether it's any of these other authors that wrote these articles or whether it was Calvin Moore who was interviewing us, these are people that are not in the lifestyle and have really no idea what the lifestyle is, but they're reporting and writing and questioning people inside the lifestyle. Yes. At the same time though, this lifestyle idea is really foreign to them.
And so you'll find that it's really awkward because they themselves are so uncomfortable with the environment it's not like you know they're writing an article about a political figure or or or a resort in california or something that happened at the school it's not a normal event that they're going to cover So what we noticed is that when we were on, let's go back to the podcast, because one of the questions that Calvin asked us was, we had talked about the fact that we thought the lifestyle in our experience, well, we said it's made us closer as a couple and we're communicating better.
And then he followed up with a question that said, well, it sounds like what you're saying and and i'm putting words in his mouth but it was somewhere along the lines of so what you're saying is that if my wife and i don't get in the lifestyle we're not going to be as good of a communicator as we are and i and you answered the question you answered it well but later i was thinking we never did say anything about this being better than anything. Right. And better. And we didn't say that we communicate better. No.
And my answer to him was the lifestyle is one way we can, that you and I have learned to communicate better because it forces you to communicate better. And I, and I said, is there another pathway to a deeper relationship as a couple of course there is you know this is one pathway it's not the pathway right and i think my the point i was making though is that his perception of what we were saying he he automatically assumed that we what we were proposing is better oh i see what you're saying than what he did yeah Because that was their perception of what we were proposing is better.
Oh, I see what you're saying, right. Than what he did. Yeah. Because that was their perception of what they were hearing. And afterwards, after the podcast, he and I chatted about that a little bit. I didn't point it out on the podcast. But the point is, whether it's Megyn Kelly or Calvin Moore or any of these other authors that write these pieces, their questions seem, we've noticed, seem to be coming from a place of those people think that they're better than us. Yeah. Or those people think they have something that we can't have. Right.
And that is just a reality that I think those of us that are in this lifestyle need to understand because when we have an opportunity to talk with somebody who is outside of the lifestyle, we have to understand that they're going to come at us with some sort of judgment a little bit, some sort of skepticism, some sort of misunderstanding that we're saying that we're better. I remember Paige and Penn did a podcast about the word vanilla. Is it offensive? Oh, right. Yeah. Remember? Yeah. Well, people that are not in the lifestyle think it's offensive. Right. Oh, you're just vanilla. Right.
Right. And that's not what we mean at all. We're just, you're not in the lifestyle, period. Right. You know, that's not good. That's not bad. It's just, it's a neutral statement. You're vanilla. So what we learned was when we were going to be interviewed by somebody that's not in the lifestyle, or we're going to have an opportunity to do this again, we need to be aware of that. We need to be aware of when we say something to somebody that's not in this, that it may come across as we're better than them, or we have a better sex life than them, or we're better communicators than them.
Well, you know, it kind of makes me like, okay, so I want to go back to the articles in Maxim magazine. Okay. Because if you haven't read them yet, so first of all. They're in our newsletter, by the way. Yeah, so sign up for our newsletter, and you'll have access to the magazines. Um, so the same lady went to Hedo with her girlfriends as a part of a bachelorette party. So it was a bunch of, I think there were like five or six of them of these single girls that went together as a group for a bachelorette party at Hedo.
And, you know, she, so the author, she kind of, she set herself up for failure a couple of times, in my opinion, because if I were a single girl in that kind of environment, I would be sticking to my girlfriends like glue, you know, and, and from what she described in her article, she kind of, um, would wander off on her own and then these couples would proposition her and then they would scare the bejeebers out of her when they would proposition her because she's not in the lifestyle and was really not, um, interested in dabbling. So it, and it was completely out of her, um, realm of normal.
Right. So she didn't know what to do with it other than, oh, my God, I can't believe these people just asked me that. That's so creepy. And then she wrote about that. So it sounds, her article kind of sounded like she was judging people in the lifestyle. Yeah. Could I see that happening at Hedo? Totally.
Well, not just well not just at hito at anywhere no because every experience that she described we've either encountered or other or we've seen people encounter so right what she described wasn't unbelievable at all no so but there was um a lot of discussion around that article right in in social media and twitter and other places and there was like swingers were offended that she was describing her experience at hito as being somewhat sleazy right and you know i don't i think we need to stop and think about this person and who they are and why they're there.
And as you just mentioned, they chose to go out on their own. But to get to the point where you're going to get angry and unsubscribe for a magazine or cancel your subscription to the show, to NBC or whatever your beef is, we need to understand it. I think it's incumbent upon us in the lifestyle to expect a reaction like that. Right. And to be prepared to listen to people and then to correct and educate, you know, in a positive way. Right. And you know how I think we can do that? It's easy. One word. Remember. Yeah.
We need to remember how we all felt as we started dabbling and sticking our toe in and figuring out where we fit and is this gonna be for us or is this like too scary, too creepy, too whatever? And I think back to you know, cause she was talking about being at Hedo and having these like naked people approach her and ask her if she wanted to be in a threesome. And, you know, the, I think the first guy said, well, do you want to have sex with my wife?
And while I watch, and then, you know, and then if you want to, I could find another guy and then we could have like an mff three threesome with just you know me and you and this other and another guy that i find and and you know she was like whoop i mean i'm sure her head was like ready to explode yeah because she had never encountered anything like that before and i remember our very first night at desire our very first trip when we had no idea how involved we wanted to become in the lifestyle. And we just kind of went there to kind of observe and take it all in.
We met this great couple that if we ever see them again, we owe them the biggest apology. Because they were a super nice couple. They were from Canada. She was just adorable. He was super handsome. They were both really smart people and just great conversationalists, but they had been in the lifestyle for a while. And we told them that we were like as green as you could get. We didn't know anything about the lifestyle. We had just, that was our first night at desire.
We didn didn't know what to do we were just super proud of ourselves for taking our clothes off and and that was about like all we needed to accomplish for the day and we were in the in the hot tub with them after the disco and i was naked which was like a really big deal for me and they sat next, they kind of put me between them. Remember? In the hot tub, there's like, you know, a ledge around the outside. And I sat down and he sat on one side of me and she sat on the other side. And you were kind of standing up in front facing me. And it's all he did is he put his arm around me.
And under the water, he put his hand on the side of my hip and that really wasn't inappropriate. I mean, for desire, that was not inappropriate, but I remember like his hand was branding the side of my hip and it's all I could think of is, oh my gosh, I've been married for 29 years. I'm naked in a hot tub and some other man's hand is on my hip. It wasn't on my boob. It wasn't like anywhere that it wasn't supposed to be. It was on my hip and I was freaking out.
And every time I think about all of these new couples in the lifestyle, like with their heads spinning around, like, oh my my god i try to remember how i felt with his hand on my hip and then they propositioned us that night and you very politely said no and i'm proud of myself for not throwing up in the hot tub and i wanted to go home the next morning yeah and you talked me down off the ledge as we took a walk on the beach we forget how terrifying that is yes and we that's i think what we're saying here is that if we want to be accepted in the mainstream if we ever want to get to a point where people can feel comfortable telling their friends and their family not that this is going to happen in our lifetime, but if we ever want to move in that direction, we have to accept the fact that the people that don't know anything about this are going to come in with that same mindset and the fear that you just described.
Right. They're confused. But here's a big difference, though. We chose to go to that resort because we wanted to. Right. Some of these reporters are going there because they're on assignment well true so so it's even a little bit further removed so for us to expect that somebody is going to come in and see it through our eyes yeah is a little bit naive yeah and if we as a community are going to take the opportunity to get our message across, we need to consider that. And we need to understand where they're coming from and not get defensive and not get angry and not get judgmental.
Because guess what? That's what we're afraid that people are gonna do to us when we come out. Yeah, that's exactly right. So if we're professing to be community where we are non-judgmental and not defensive and that we reach out to people and that we care about people yet we attack people who don't see things our way from the get-go that's a little bit of a hypocritical approach well and we're not nothing good's going to come out of that. No. Right. No.
So then after these articles, you also probably will know that C&D from the Swinging Down Under podcast were invited to be on a non-lifestyle podcast. And they were interviewed about the lifestyle. And they did a very good job of explaining what it was was the name of that podcast is called share a slice yes with sean and then page and pen were recently interviewed by a non-lifestyle podcast page and pen from the swinger diaries podcast uh and and you know the podcast is called uh together the together podcast and it's a podcast about relationships. Yes.
And they did an outstanding job as ambassadors to the lifestyle to asking somebody questions about, you know, what this was all about. And so much so that at the end of that interview, the host said, and I think I wrote this down because I didn't want to mess it up. He said he had noticed that Penn was a little bit concerned about people finding out that they were in this lifestyle. And the host said, folks, it's 2018. Isn't it time we gave up defining people by how they want to have sex?
So when you hear somebody say something like that and you hear the other podcasts,nds that they were on and the one we were interviewed on and you see these people on even on meg and kelly's hour um there were no i wouldn't say that there were swingers on that hour would you they they were there was a polyamorous couple a triad and there was a triad and then there was a couple where a married couple had had a she had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend and the four of them together um were living life right and raising children and and then there was a lady there was a single lady on the podcast or on i'm sorry, I'm Megan Kelly, um she was um ultimately divorced but she talked about how she and her husband um started like i guess swinging separately yeah um and then they they ended up divorcing um but i i think their issues were already there before they yeah she said dabbled in the lifestyle, but she was just talking about her experiences, um, in non-monogamy.
Right. So instead of, you know, even in looking at that show, we could complain, we could say, oh, well, you know, they really didn't have swingers on that show.
But the bottom line was that they were talking about consensual non-monogamy right and we all fall under that umbrella yeah and so we can't get bent out of shape because somebody doesn't understand you know how many different flavors of non-monogamy there are i mean it's hard even even oh yeah we're defining it for us but there are several different ways to approach this and so for us to make the assumption that, gosh, NBC doesn't even know what they're talking about.
They called polyamorous this, and really what they were talking about is swingers, or they don't understand the right terminology.
And if we get caught up and be a nitpicky like that, we're missing the opportunity where a mainstream television show is reaching out to learn more about this world that we live in and so we should be looking for these opportunities and taking advantage of them understanding that people are not going to be in the same place that we are because as you just said we're two or three or four years beyond that and it's easy to forget right but these whether it's a magazine article or it's a tv show or it's a podcast these are um they're each one of them is a catalyst to start a conversation and to start helping people that are not in the lifestyle see things through a different lens.
Yeah. Because they're start helping people that are not in the lifestyle see things through a different lens because there are people everywhere that are not like us. There are some things that go on the lifestyle that I can't imagine ever doing. Like I completely disagree with them. I don't understand why people would do that. But one thing I'm learning is that would not work for me and Mr. Jones, but it's working for those people. And therefore, who am I to judge? As long as they don't try to thrust their way of consensual non-monogamy on me, then who am I to judge that? Right.
And the, the psych, the psychologist psychologist that was on that show she didn't say it on the show but some more uh of her work that i researched she she had another article published and in that article she said what people need to see is a couple that they know that they can associate this lifestyle with because when they don't know anybody their default setting is what they perceive swinging or not or non-monogamy to be which is usually sleazy yeah or something negative but when they can say like our friends when it's oh that's mr and mrs jones we know them oh if they're in it then maybe it's not as weird as we think it is right they're so normal yeah they're normal and so we believe that over a period of time um the more people that that either choose to come out or are forced to come out like we are um it it'll give people more of an example of what this is to hold up in front of them so they're not so about it.
Right. And not that we're all that because we let's make one thing clear. If we would not have been discovered, we would never have chosen to come out. So, okay. That is so true. So we're not trying to tell people out there that you should come out to, to do this. We're not, I do not recommend it. No, no.
But this is what we feel like well we're out we might as well be that representative couple no but the therapist that was on the megan kelly show she did say out of all the couples in the united states um so we figured i was just you know trying to do the math so if there's like 300 and something million people in the United States, as far as couples go, I would say there would be at least 100 million couples, right? Because, you know, you have children and then you have single people and then you have old people that are, have become single again through death.
So a hundred million couples, um 3% to 4% of them participate in some form of consensual non-monogamy, according to her study. That doesn't surprise me. And I think you read on her website, it was more like 4% to 5%. Yeah. That's a lot of people. Yes. Yeah. Right. So there are more of us.
So no wonder it's hard to get a room at desire there's only 88 rooms of pearl and like 130 in our right yeah okay um here's another thing that we've noticed recently and this is where we give kudos to the community so um if you got our recent newsletter well the latest blog post on on you're kind of nagging about that, Mr. Jones. I am. There's a theme here tonight. I know. Well, when I get emails from people asking me these questions and I just say, if you subscribe to our newsletter, you would already know this. That's right.
But we just had a guest blogger who is a physician and he is in the lifestyle. And he asked, he came to us and and said can i write a series of articles or blog posts about erectile dysfunction then we have um well katherine on episode 41 yes she's a licensed therapist and she is in the lifestyle and she asked us if she could use our platform to you people with this message. We also are working with a couple of clergy, one in particular, who's doing some writing from the aspect or the perspective of being a Christian in the lifestyle, much better than we could do that. Right.
So we want to lend our profile to people in the community. You know, it's one thing to listen to a sex therapist or a psychologist or a pastor who's not in the lifestyle, but they're open-minded enough to talk about it. But it's totally different when you talk to a professional who is in the lifestyle and not only has the professional credentials, but the lifestyle experience, that's what we're looking for. And those are the people that are starting to come to us. So let's just plug that right away. Yeah.
If you feel like you have a message and you want to get it out, but you don't want to out yourself, let us know. And, you know, we'll find that vehicle where you can be discreet and anonymous and and then but you can still share your message yeah so anyway let's so so what does this mean what does all this mean to the community and to us um i would say you know as time moves on on and I don't know how many years this is going to take, but there seems to be momentum. And as more of this discussion happens in mainstream America, um, I think it's going to become less and less painful to be outed.
And again, I'm not recommending that to anybody. But I think it's not going to be as big of a deal. You know, like it was just like a generation ago where it really wasn't okay to live with somebody before you got married. Right. That's right. You know, when you and I were getting married, we got married on the 20th of the month. And I'll see you next time.
wasn't okay to live with somebody before you got married right that's right you know when you and i were getting married we got married on the 20th of the month and you and i were running we both so we both lived at home before we got married and so we rented an apartment and the lease started on the first of the month before our wedding and my mom wouldn't let me move into the apartment with you. Yeah. Like, you got to live in that apartment for 19 days without me. I was so bitter, because I was paying half the rent. Honey, that was my 19 days of being a bachelor.
I know, but I was paying half the rent, and I wasn't allowed to live there, because my mom said no. Like, that's ridiculous. Yeah. You that 33 years ago right but um and now it's perfectly acceptable for people to live together before marriage i mean both of our children did it and yeah the world is still revolving right and honestly i didn't think it was that big of a deal. You know, so my point is that society is evolving quickly.
So I don't know how much time is going to have to go by before all of a sudden this notion of consensual non-monogamy is really not as dirty and seedy as it was in the 1970s I guess yeah I think one thing that the community can the community can do to help our own cause is just by being open-minded and accepting of people that come into the lifestyle there are so many people a lot of people don't want to have anything to do with newbies. Right. And, you know, I think we all have a responsibility.
If we want this to be accepted, you know, we need to be open to communicating and talking and welcoming everybody. Okay, so I have a funny story. Okay. So I just got an email from a lady this week. I think she and her husband are about our age, and they've been in the lifestyle for a while, and they found our podcast, and they've recommended our podcast, and I'll see you next time. an email from a lady this week.
I think she and her husband are about our age and they've been in the lifestyle for a while and they found our podcast and, and they've recommended our podcast and our online course to some newbie couples that they've met. And, um, she said that they, she said for some reason, um, they've just really encountered a lot of newbie couples lately.
And one of the couples started referring to them as their swinger parents parents and she said we had to nip that in the bud quickly but i thought that was funny but you know that's kind of you know she said that that for really they're not inviting it but all of a sudden they just seem to have newbies are drawn to them. And she said they're really enjoying that like mentorship process, you know, however they're playing it out. But but, you know, they're having fun except for the whole, you know, swinger parent thing that that was not OK. Yeah.
I think another thing the community can do is stop bickering amongst the community in the different genres of the lifestyle. Yeah. I mean, we all have our own flavor, like Baskin Robbins, 31 flavors, take your flavor and run with it. Yeah. Yeah. Um, you know, what does it mean to us? I mean, I think you touched on this, but you know, we're just going to let nature take its course.
We're not going to have going to have a hey we are we're out we're not going to have a party hell no you know and announce it you know to the world but as people find out and as we share it with people in the natural course of life um i mean heck if megan kelly kelly calls us next week that might be an opportunity to come out but it seems like she's already she's already covered the topic yeah really shoo off the hook yeah and you know let the gossip run its course and you know let the next news cycle take over well you're saying that in a cavalier manner and you know the world hasn't ended yet um our true friends are still our true friends and everybody else i guess we're just giving them something to gossip about until you know back to baskin robbins we're the flavor of the week right i'm sure a new flavor of the week's going to come along soon and we'll be old news right i'm looking forward to being old news but you know right now i guess we're a hot topic yeah so a lot of other leaders or ambassadors or you know, right now, I guess we're a hot topic.
Yeah. So a lot of other leaders or ambassadors or, you know, spokespeople of the lifestyle have their own style and that's fine. But as for us, we just want to try to be the voice of reason for those exploring the lifestyle. Well, I think anybody that's listened to more than a couple episodes know that about us.
yeah we're we not um try it you'll like it people we're um think it through and talk about it right and and you know tiptoe slowly yeah you know that the lifestyle is fun and um you're gonna meet you know hopefully you're gonna find a place to um where you feel comfortable and you're going to make amazing friends like we've been fortunate to do but um it's risky business yeah that's the bottom line yeah and we just want to put objective information out there and let people make their own decisions right we're not going to try to talk anybody into anything right um but there's you know it's getting back to what we talked about at the earliest at the outset when you're talking about calvin's approach to the lifestyle or to to talking to people yeah maybe we could be an example for how to sit down and have a conversation with people right you know so rather than that art of debate yeah so rather than um be defensive we should explain what this is yeah just just not have a defensive attitude right maybe instead of getting angry we could just focus on educating yeah people um i mean i always think that's kind of been the um the driving motivator for me to stick with this podcast.
Yeah, well, ask you. Because I believe in what it's done for our relationship, and I just want to put that information out there for people to be careful, but to be thoughtful. But at the same time, if you have this desire, it can be really fun as long as you do it the right way.
Yeah, and I think that's one way for those of you on the outside looking for resources and you hear people talking, whether it's a podcast, whether it's something you read in the news, you know, or on TV, what is the motive motive behind the person are they defending something because they make money are they telling you to do something because they get something out of it are they just the type of person that wants to be a know-it-all um you know and that's something that we have struggled with lately because now that we're part of our business, part of our We Got a Thing is revenue generating, you know, we have to be careful that that doesn't consume us.
You know, our podcast is free. Our podcast is always going to be what our podcast is. And we feel like we give a lot of free content on our website and through our newsletter. And a part of what we do, is going to generate hopefully some generate some revenue well right because what we're doing is not free yeah like we we have a lot of expenses and um with with three new businesses we're we're just trying to find that balance of of offering things to the community that are of value and that are free.
But at the same time, we have to figure out a way to generate enough revenue so that we can keep doing this. And there's so many things we want to do. We want to travel more. We want to meet more people and host meet and greets and do workshops.
But we can't do that until we figure out a way to generate enough revenue to sustain that you need to keep the heat on i know right yeah so it's kind of a big balancing act for us right now so we you know we're learning but um right we just we appreciate the support of the of the people that you know book trips through us and purchase our courses so that yeah that we can keep the lights on so to speak or whatever and and let's not you know let's not come across like um whole 30 dieters or crossfitters you know you're bitter about this whole 30 aren't you just just say it it's okay let's not come across as being better than somebody else right you know let's talk about just embracing being we're different it's different come at it from we're different it's not better It's not come across as being better than somebody else.
Right. You know, let's talk about just embracing being, we're different. It's different. Come at it from, we're different. It's not better. It's not worse. It's different. And you know what I'm talking about? And I don't mean to pick on CrossFitters, but we're marathoners. Let's pick on marathoners. Oh, I know. We're marathoners. Yes. And all they want to talk about is running and running, or CrossFit. Like those marathoners that say, oh, I only ran five miles today.
You know, and five miles is a lot for most people and we forget we forget that that's intimidating just like lifestyle that can be intimidating to people right so to talk about it with passion and enthusiasm and an overzealous attitude is simply sometimes going to drive people away yes i think we need to understand that. And that's not what we're here for. No, no. And rather than complain about these things, rather than complain about people not getting it, you know, let's just promote what it is. Let's just say what we believe it is and, and attack it that way. And let's not be exclusive.
of let's reach and try to include everyone. Yes. I mean, there's just, these are just basic principles of, you know, of life. Right. But we forget that we forget. And sometimes I think people feel like we're being attacked or we're the victim and really we're not, we chose to do this. Yes. You know, and that's something I kind to struggle with when, um, sometimes I hear people in the lifestyle say that, you know, we have rights. Well, you know, gay people have rights. They have rights to be a family. They have rights to receive health benefits as a family unit.
Um, do we have those same rights? I don't think so. I'm sorry.
I i mean as a lifestyle couple yeah as a lifestyle couple no because before that this is a hobby not a right no because we are privileged we're privileged but there's no there's nothing in to protect us no you're right right that doesn't exist right now so so where other groups do have some legal protections there's morality clauses that can jump up and bite you if you're in the lifestyle don't we know it thank goodness for our attorney yeah so so there it's it's so fresh that that there is not a lot of protection out there so you do have to understand that but um you don't have to come out to help the cause you know there's many opportunities to exhibit the traits that we've been talking about um and and in the circles that you you travel so even if you don't come out whether you're on twitter whether you're on cassidy or sls whether you're not in new orleans I don't come out, whether you're on Twitter, whether you're on Cassidy or SLS, whether you're not in New Orleans, whether you're dating out on a lifestyle date or whether you're at an event or emailing people, you can exhibit the same, the patience and the non-defensiveness and the education and everything that we've talked about, promote it within the lifestyle.
Right. You don't have to come out. Right. You know, but it within the lifestyle. Right. You don't have to come out. Right. But just promoting it and being that way from within the lifestyle is going to help in the long run, too. Right. And that includes like Hedo or Desire, you know, because not everybody at Hedo and not everybody at Desire is in the lifestyle. Right. You know, so that poor girl that wrote the articles for Maxim Magazine, you know, she got an eyeful. Yeah. You know, but that's what happens when you go to those places. Yeah. I mean, we're in a catch-22.
We want more people to know about this, yet when it's publicized, we disagree with some of the content. And sometimes we're sometimes we're our own worst enemy, at least that's putting it out there to talk about.
But if I would have had to have done what she did, you know, go to these resorts or go on this cruise and, and then write this article, if I would have had to have done that five years ago, I, I probably would not have been as generous as she was, you know, and, and now, don't i don't bat an eye i i see people do things like you know when you go to naughty new orleans and you're waiting on an elevator and the elevator opens and there's all kinds of crazy stuff going on inside the elevator car and you're like huh hey have a good time i'll wait for the next car you know it that was shocking four years ago now i'm just like i think i'll wait for the next car.
You know, it, it, that was shocking four years ago. Now I'm just like, eh, I think I'll wait for the next one or I'll take the stairs or whatever. Um, but four years ago, five years ago, that would have absolutely freaked me out. Yeah. And we forget that. Right.
So I, I think the one word takeaway from this episode is just remember yeah remember how you perceive this whole swinger lifestyle thing however many years it was before you actually engaged in the community right so that when when you do have a conversation with people that are not involved in the lifestyle community you kind of understand where they're coming from because we forget yes We'll see have a choice. No. The genie is out of the bottle. Yes. So anything you would like to contribute, any ideas that you have that you'd like us to add to our platform or our content, let us know.
Any way that we can help, we're going to help and we're going to promote because we are where we are now. We, you know, we might as well try to do some good for it. Well, can I add one thing to that? Yeah. So the genie's out of the bottle. We are where we are now.
And, and why are we we there because of the friends that we have made in the lifestyle yeah that has really been the deciding factor on our pathway forward right you know if we would have just engaged in the lifestyle and had some like crazy fun sex and gone on some pretty awesome vacations, but then had come home each time, without any kind of connections that we made with people. When we were outed, and especially with all the, you know, the, the ongoing, like undercurrent of crap that's going on. And now, I don't know. Maybe I would have like taken my licks and walked away from it.
But we have, the lifestyle isn't a hobby anymore. It's really, it's part of our lives in that we have made some amazingly grounded, connected friendships. Yeah. And they're not replacing our friendships that we had in the past, but they are definitely becoming more and more of a priority in our lives, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, and I'll credit Paige and Penn this, because at the end of the podcast, they just did, um, you know, they were asked if they, could they get out of this? Could they stop doing it? And their answer was perfect. It was, could we have stopped having sex with other people?
Absolutely. Right. But will we get out of the lifestyle? No, no. You know, we don't have to have sex with people to go to desire. Right. We don't have to have sex with people to go to a club. Right. Or an event. We can go and have sexy fun between the two of us. Right. Well, you know, Paige and Penn are actually a perfect example. We do not live close to them. Right. But they are some of our go-to peeps. I mean, they are good friends of ours.
We trust them implicitly and you know we if we have a question or a concern about something you know sometimes page is one of the first people i go to on my phone and i send her a text and she's right back i mean she's right back there right with you know what's going on what do you need what's wrong what can i do right um you know that's just that's part of the beauty of the lifestyle community that people from the outside can't even begin to envision yep so this this podcast topic may not have resonated with what you're going through right now but we thought as a member of the community or a potential member of the community, you'd be interested in what we're observing.
Right, because we know this runs through everybody's minds. Yeah, and I think it's just going to continue to accelerate. I think, you know, keep your eyes out. You're going to see if NBC's doing this, you can expect other networks to do the same thing. You can expect other magazines to do the same things. Right, I mean we're talking GQ Maxim, okay so those are like, you know, guys, somewhat sexy, but Prevention Magazine, hello, that's a pretty like solid, stable magazine and they did one. Right. Okay, well when we come back, do you have a snapshot yet?
Well, I've got so many snapshots I can't decide but you get fussy when I have more than one. I'll have something of my own, I'm sure. Alright, let's take Thank you. Well, I've got so many snapshots I can't decide, but you get fussy when I have more than one. I'll have something of my own, I'm sure. All right, let's take a bio break and we'll be right back. All right. Welcome back to Snapshots.
So we need to talk about something sexy because that topic was just kind of like intense yeah yeah so do you have anything sexy to share i do do you i do okay i'll go first okay so we at our our cabin retreat a couple of weeks ago. Retreat? Yeah. That's funny. A swinger retreat. A swinger retreat. I love it. Yeah. That was the first annual, too. We're going to do that again next year. Okay. Yeah.
I ran out to the car because a couple had pulled up, and I went out to help them bring their stuff in, and they had this big old suitcase that was it was falling apart it was really heavy and I carried it in and I said what in the world do you have in this here in this suitcase and he said oh that's a fucking machine and I said what he said yeah it's the Versafuck 4000 I said oh really I think I've seen these maybe in online before but never one in real life so we set it aside and and the first night we were there it didn't see any action but the second night we decided to take it downstairs and the guys you know the engineering minds got together and took it out of the suitcase and assembled it all and and got it ready and it was close to the wood stove, so it was nice and toasty down there.
Yeah. So the long and short of it is three ladies partook. Yes. In an experience with the VersaFuck4000. A.K.A. Nick the Dick. Yeah, and... Because the VersaFuck huck 4000 that's not very sexy so we thought nick the dick was much more affectionate right so it's one of these machines that yeah you turn it on and it's just like a piston and it has a dildo on the end of it yeah but then it was a nice dildo though it was a nice it was... It was soft. I mean, it wasn't like hard plastic. And wasn't the remote controller also a vibrator? It was. Right.
So three ladies did it, and they all did it in a different position. So the first lady got on the couch, and she was on her back. Right. Or was she on? No, she was doggy. She was doggy. The first one was doggy. The first one was doggy. Yeah yeah and she did it for a while and she enjoyed it yeah and then so like the the um the control for like like uh the fast or slow was um like a little toggle switch on the vibrator so the vibrator was like a normal like vibrator.
you could like use a vibrator on your clit or you could put it inside of you um well i guess well you could try to put it inside of you although nick the dick pretty much filled that up yeah so yeah so you could use like the vibrator on your clit and then the the toggle to control the speed of the the actual fucking machine was like right there the rp on the vibrator yeah yeah and then i'll come to you last the the other lady okay after the lady did the doggy style then and there was another lady there that she was on her back on the on the sofa yeah she did it that way and she seemed to enjoy it too yeah well my wife decided she's gonna straddle the thing so yeah and you could position it that way so it was pointing straight up in the air and and we had to get it at just the right height for you so it didn't i'm short so thank goodness i left my heels on yeah so anyway you took the remote and you started it going and you had straddled it and then you took the controller and you were playing with yourself with that and it was so then I got up I stood up first of all I stood up because your legs started shaking and I thought you might fall so I stood up in front of you and I was like you know holding you up propping you up to make sure that you didn't fall.
But then after a while, it got so hot. I mean, you started enjoying it. Well, my legs were shaking because I was ready to have an orgasm. Yeah, and you did. Yeah, you did. And Nick did his job. And then when we were done, I just like took you right over to the couch and had you for myself. Yes. It really got me charged up. Yeah. That was hot. Yeah. That was really fun. I know those things look scary, but you three ladies seem to enjoy it. Right, but there were four ladies there. The first one had some PTSD because she tried it at home. Which is funny, not funny.
Yeah, was her toy yeah and it um it malfunctioned with her yeah and it definitely uh caused some trauma what we diagnosed is when you pull the cord out for the controller it goes to like an a preset auto speed which is really fast so if you accidentally pull the controller plug out it'll go like a sledgehammer right she was afraid that was going to happen so she took a pass yeah oh yeah that was pretty hot yeah so that's my snapshot mrs jones straddling the fucking machine Yeah, that was a fun night.
Okay, so I think my snapshot might be the same night it was the same night so right so like after I got done with Nick the dick Mr. Jones literally drug me about four feet over to the couch and just totally had his way with me. And we had like ridiculously fun, hot, crazy sex. So, and Mr. Jones finished and then, but the night was still young. So Mr. Jones was like, I'm ready for a break. So there was this awesome hot tub right outside the back door, which was right next to the playroom. So Mr. Jones is like, I'm going out to the hot tub. You can do whatever you want to do.
So we have this rule that, um, we don't play separately, but you know, Mr. Jones went out to the hot tub and he said to me, well, if you don't want to come out to the hot tub, you can stay in here. And he said, you know, you can do whatever you want. I'm, it's perfectly okay with me. Well, but it wasn't okay with me. Um, so I was kind of, I guess I've kind of felt like I was left hanging, but, um, I ended up spending time with one of the husbands and he, he knew we had this rule and he knew you were out at the hot tub.
And, um, I could have played with him because you gave me permission and his wife was there. So it wasn't a problem with him. Um, but I just, I couldn't do it. I'm like, I'm sorry, but I just can't do that because Mr. Jones is out at the hot tub. And he's like, no, I totally understand. So he and I were both perfectly naked, sitting on an ottoman together. We were kind of facing each other. I think I had my legs wrapped around him. And we were just sitting in front of the wood stove.
And other friends of ours were fucking on the couch like two feet from us like I could have reached over and you know put my hand on her leg so we were watching this like hot sex and there was another couple you know playing at the same time and and I actually think my friend's wife eventually went out to get in the hot tub with you and I think you guys were kind of hanging out for a while And then we all ended up migrating out there at some point. But my snapshot is just that I was naked. I had just had like ridiculous sex with you. We had all just played with this fucking machine.
And they were, you know, amazing friends having sex right next to me. I am naked, practically sitting on this guy's lap. And he's naked too. Thank you. you know, amazing friends having sex right next to me. I am naked, practically sitting on this guy's lap and he's naked too. And we were talking about the most inane things like ever. Like we were not talking about sex at all. We, I don't even remember what we were talking about. We were just talking about life. And, and it was so great because I was just having a conversation with a friend.
He just happened to be a guy that he just happened to be a guy that I had had sex with before. And he happened to be naked and we happened to be next to people two feet away from us having sex. And his wife just happened to be naked in the hot tub with my naked husband. And it was also normal. And I didn't feel like, I never felt like he would take advantage of me. I never felt like crossing a line with him. Like you told me I could have sex with him. And I, I think his wife would have probably been okay too, because she was with us initially.
And then she just left and went out to the hot tub. Um, but I, that's just my deal. I don't have sex unless you're right there with me. And, and he knew that and, and it was fine. Like that is so, it's so sexy. Isn't that weird? I wasn't having sex with him, but it was so sexy because I trust him. You trust him. I trust you. You trust me. And therefore you can be your authentic self in this like super sensual sexual environment without any kind of like line being crossed that you don't want to have crossed because you feel safe, perfectly naked, so weird. Isn't that crazy? Yes.
Now, I'd say an hour later, the four of us might have been in their bedroom and she and I might have been playing with a double dildo while you guys were watching. Now that's a snapshot. Why don't you just lead with that one? Because it's all tied together. That's the beauty of it. When you find people in the lifestyle where you have this connection with it all just it just all blends together and and it's um that back to my song blurred lines it all it it's all blended and it's just that's just a part of your friendship now it's not segregated between oh i have these people.
Oh, and I'm friends with these people. It's all one and the same. Okay. Okay. And the double dildo sex with her, with you guys watching, was like really hot. Yeah. Yeah. At 2.30 in the morning. Okay. Well, it's time to close out 47. Yeah. So thank you all for booking your desire trips through our site. And if you want to go anytime except for the third week of June and the second week of November, you can still book. I know, right. But, yeah, we appreciate your support.
You know, if you want to get one of those last couple cabins on the Desire cruise at the end of April, go ahead and grab it and let us know.
We're excited to get our kit group going with our peeps that we're going to be traveling with and uh yeah we're going to have some fun yeah and if those of you who are interested in our navigating your lifestyle journey course you can find information that on about that on our lifestyle on our website excuse me and please don't forget we mentioned this at the outset but um we don't promote a lot of things but the revel furniture sex chair the essence sex chair by revel furniture is awesome yes it is and you can purchase that through our website and get a nice discount on that and free shipping so please check that out if you'd like to email us you can email me at mrjones at we got a thing.com.
And I am at mrsjones at wegotathing.com. Our website is wegotathing.com, W-E-G-O-T-T-A-T-H-I-N-G. You can follow us on Twitter at wegotathing. And we have a very robust Cassidy community. Yes, growing quickly. So join our Cassidy community. If you're not a member of Cassidy, you can join through our website, and I think you get, what, 90 days free? Right. Yeah, and the same thing with SDC. We have a link on our website for SDC to get some free time as well, so you can check out that website. We do. So thanks for listening. We are Mr. and Mrs. Jones, and we got a thing. What's your thing?
as well so you can check out that website we do so thanks for listening we are mr and mrs jones and we got a thing what's your thing We'll see you next time.
