Episode 45: Closing the Deal- Transitioning to Playtime

Transcript

This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us?

hello everyone i'm mr jones and i'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 45 of the we got a thing podcast it's cold outside baby it's cold outside there's my song for the podcast you didn't get into the title this time which is closing the dealtime. Yeah. That's what we're going to talk about later. We got lots of experience with that. Some good, some not so good. Yeah. Some easy, some not so easy. Yeah. I mean, ultimately, the lifestyle is about a lot of things, as we say, but really, the elephant in the room is playtime. That's right. And you got to get there.

That get there that's right i mean that that's you know if you're getting together with a couple and you have that you know sexy anticipation yeah that's really the end game yeah so we've danced around this for a while and and uh we've had a lot we run into a lot of people us included who wake up the next morning and think dang we missed an opportunity yeah we didn't pull the trigger or we didn't yeah well i mean so why are we podcasting on a monday night mr jones where were we this weekend well we're gonna get to that i know well my point is we're podcasting on monday night because we couldn't pull the trigger with a couple that we were on vacation with yeah and therefore we missed an opportunity and had to travel kind of far to meet them last weekend yeah well we did the transcontinental railroad routine they drove south and east and we drove north and west until we met in the middle yeah, so we have some transition experience to talk about with them.

Yes. So therefore, we're podcasting on a Monday night. Yeah, it was a good weekend. Yes, it was. Even though it was cold. It was freezing. Cold doesn't even begin to describe it. It was minus five. So when I say it was freezing, you can't just like poo-poo me. No, it was freezing. We looked out the window of the hotel and the city streets and there was nobody out there. Every once in a while you'd see a body run out of a building and hop into an Uber. That's right. That was about it. We can run a marathon, but we Ubered four cents of a mile to breakfast.

Yeah, it said an eight-minute walk or a six-minute walk and we said no. Nope. Uber. Not when it's five below. Yeah. So what are you drinking in that fancy glass, honey? Well, I have a brand new, our daughter gave me a monogrammed set of whiskey glasses. Yeah. For Christmas. And it's 25% full of Highland Park. Isn't that a nice scotch? Fighting honor, 12 year scotch. Well, yeah, you got to say scotch for people that are not necessarily familiar. Yes, it's a scotch. Yeah, so I'll be, it warms you up. It does a good job in weather like this. Well, I'm drinking a coconut martini.

It's white like the snow outside'm drinking a coconut martini it's white like the snow outside but the coconut but a coconut martini reminds me of desire well that looks like the last three drinks that you had like you had a peppermint the candy cane martini one then you had another white one um because i thought it was a candy candy oh that was that singapore 43 thing i made up yeah so you're so i can't tell them apart because they're all white and foamy well you want to taste it no it doesn't go scotch there were a lot of pretty ladies drinking these in the hot tub there were a lot of pretty ladies drinking a lot of things desire so let's make some announcements before we get started all right so we launched our course last month yes we did and we can honestly say it exceeded our expectations it did actually people bought it and they didn't ask for a refund not yet yeah it's been kind of fun we um most of the people have gotten on the forum and we've done some introductions and we even did a skype session we did we did a video conferencing session with somebody that bought their premiere course and that was a ton of fun yeah then we kind of moved it over to kick and we've just been uh having fun getting to know them i know they live up north yeah they live in where it's really cold they're probably laughing at us when we say it was five below i don't think five below phases them well i made the comment to him about i don't know how you people survive in weather like this and he said well we stay inside and have lots of sex and i really didn't have an answer for that so they're doing their homework with their course yeah they are all right i like that we're making a difference honey yay uh so we've also made a couple of changes to our website we're we've hosted a few meet and greets and we're going to make this a little bit more formal and we're going to try to have them quarterly so if you are in the washington dc maryland virginia pennsylvania North Carolina or if you're if you want to travel to one of our meet and greets, go to our website, and at the bottom of the website, you'll see a place where you can sign up to be on the invitation list, and you'll need to give us your names and your email address and whatever dating lifestyle website you're on, your screen name, and we're going to collect those names and then that that'll help us manage the invitations a little bit better than just going through Cassidy it was a little bit difficult to go through Cassidy well not everybody was on Cassidy that yeah so then people would randomly email and then we had two lists and it was crazy right right so and also you're going to see on our website that we have an events calendar um so if you'll check on that events calendar you'll see when our meet and greets are scheduled and you'll see when our desire trips are and you'll see when our newsletters are due out and any other things that the joneses have planned for the year you'll see on our events calendar right because we do have some uh some ideas in the works to start traveling doing like meets and greets, meets and greets, meet and greets, and workshops and stuff across the country.

Yes. And we're going to get those off the ground. Yeah, we are.

We just have a lot going on, and we're trying to do a reasonable number of things well instead of a million things just kind of scrambling and speaking of desire so i'm going to give you these discount coupon codes again because they're filling up both the june week and the november week the ocean view rooms are filled but there are junior suites and master suites left right uh so and there are um a couple different cabin categories left on the desire cruise it is not too late to book that cruise yes i know there's veranda rooms left and i think there's some ocean view rooms left which are the more affordable ones yes so i'm going to give you these codes uh and that in the two weeks at pearl if you book through us you'll be included in all of our activities and you'll get free airport transportation and if you book the desire cruise through us you will get a four hundred dollars off the total price right but i can't give the i can't put the coupon codes on our website due to the agreement we have with desire but i can tell you what they are and you can email me if you forget so if you want to go with us at the end of june uh june 23rd to 30th it's wgtdp and that will give you the airport Transcription by CastingWords So if you want to go with us at the end of June, June 23rd to 30th, it's WGTDP, and that will give you the airport transfers in Pearl in November from the 10th to the 17th.

The coupon code is DPWGT, and the cruise in April 28th is WGTDC. And if you want to travel with us, please book through our website because not only, I mean, we have to, we have to be, I guess, transparent with y'all. We do earn a small commission when you guys book through our website.

But the main reason is because we really had trouble keeping track of everybody for our November trip because some people people would book through our links and then um the the other podcast links and then some people were booking through just various travel agencies and to keep all those people on a accurate list so that we could adequately prepare for you and welcome you was just kind of a logistical nightmare so when you book through our links it helps us we we do get a list of people and then you know we can contact you and right and um it just it makes it so much easier for us to coordinate everything yeah and to be if you want to be transparent the other side of the coin is last time we included everybody and everything and then we invested our own time and resources into things for people, and then 10 couples backed out and didn't tell us.

Right. So we feel like that we've been through this one year. We really think it was a success, and we believe that booking through us and coming the week that we're going to be there, you're going to have a good time. Right. And we're bringing a lot of fun, and there's going to be some great people there and quality couples, and you'll just have a good time. And Mr. Jones and I and C&D from Swinging Down Under, we really want you to feel welcome and a part of things. And if we know you're coming, you know, we can certainly prepare better for that. Yes.

So, let's move on to keeping up with the Joneses. Okay. We've been kind of busy lately. Yes. Even with the holidays. I mean, we did have that lull around the holidays because, you know, the pesky family came into town.

And, you know, we had these cute little grandchildren that were a distraction and yeah and all that stuff but yeah we finally got together with a couple that we're going to talk about in a minute because when we get to our topic about transitioning we we when we had them over the first time we screwed up the transition but fortunately we redeemed ourselves in in the month of december yes did. So we'll talk a little bit about that. Yeah, it was easy peasy. And it was fun. Yeah. And then we had another couple came down for the night. That's semi local that we met. They don't live too far away.

Right. Had a good time with them. Did we grill some steak that night? We did. Yes. I stood outside freezing, but the steak was good. Yes, it was. And then we went to the Synergy New Year's Eve party in Washington, D.C. And we've been to a few of the Synergy parties, and this one was really good. It was spectacular. What a great group of people.

of people yeah it was and it was a little bit different for us because we had two of our best lifestyle friends came into town a couple that we know very well and so we went to the party with them which is what we had wanted to do and what we intended to do so we were able to walk around and and talk to a lot of people that we knew and we met some people but we never went to the the playroom area because we had other plans yeah yeah mr jones and i we actually stayed up in dc with our friends and and we were city folk yeah for a weekend so yeah we um we had a really nice hotel room waiting for us but to give synergy credit that the hotel was really nice it was a great location it was easy to get in and out of the decorations were fabulous um the dj was good the entertainment was good the lighting was good uh our service was actually good yeah entertainment was pretty good yeah and and it was a little expensive this year but they did open bar which really helped move things along well and they had three bars there was one kind of out in the lobby where the snacks were and then they had two actually in the ballroom and i don't think i ever waited more than like maybe two minutes for a drink no and the food was the snacks were really good yeah they were hors d'oeuvres i guess it was just top notch the nibbles the nibbles yes Yes, we're really good.

It was a M. Or gerbs, I guess. It was just top notch. The nibbles. The nibbles, yes. Yes, were really good. It was a Moulin Rouge theme. So a lot of the men had tuxedos on or suits. Yes. And the ladies were just. You had this like gold dress on that. I think it took you about 15 seconds to get dressed. Yeah, well, you just step into it and you slip it up. I know, there wasn't anything going under it. It was perfect. Well, it was kind of tight. It was very form-fitting. There wasn't a lot of room under it for anything. Yeah. Yeah. It looked pretty hot.

Well, I didn't really go with the theme, though. I just bought a pretty slutty metallic club dress. Yeah. Yeah. It worked. Yeah. It was fun. It was different going to a party where you didn't necessarily. We weren't seeking people out to play with. We didn't have an expectation. Yes. So we were just kind of, you know, moving around, talking to people, meeting people, and enjoying the party. It was fun. But we saw a couple couples that we are really good friends with, and it was fun to catch up with them.

One couple we're going to see next month, and then the other couple lives close enough where we just have to actually like get our act together and say hey yeah send us some dates so you might know who you are hey send us some dates yeah send us some dates that's right so we had and and when our friends came into town and they were in for the whole weekend and they're from the warm part of the country, and they're both runners, and we were staying in downtown D.C., so we wanted to take them on a run. Well, I think it wasn't really that cold. Well, it was in the low. Yes, it was.

It was like 18. Yeah, that's cold, honey. And with the windchill, it was probably single digits. Yeah, it wasn't really windy, but it was breezy.

Right, and we were staying right downtown so i and i run downtown all the time so i wanted to take them around the national mall and you know run up the steps of the lincoln memorial we were staying just like a couple blocks from the white house it was just magical it was beautiful so what we decided to do with the four of us we're going to for a run and then we were gonna end up at a brewery so we ran for we were gonna only run for like a mile or two you lied you said it's gonna be about a mile to get to like the washington monument and back i was like okay that's true but they wanted to go further oh we had to go see the vietnam memorial then the korean war memorial the world war ii and then we crossed over to the mall yeah and they and they were like sightseeing so and then this is how cold it was i took uh we found the brewery on uh on my phone and it was my phone was at 85 when i took it out of my pocket and i was holding it in my hand and we ran, I think that the brewery was like three quarters of a mile away and we got halfway there and my phone died.

It just completely died. The battery went from 85% to zero because of the cold. Yeah. And you had it out because we weren't sure which street to turn on. Yeah. So luckily we had figured that out before your phone croaked. Yeah. Yeah. So we, we ran four and a half miles in the in the cold and then ended up at a brewery and had a good time that beer warmed my belly up though yeah but then we had to leave the brewery and go back outside yeah i know that was cold it was terrible because then we were kind of our clothes were still a little wet because we were kind of sweaty yeah that? Yeah.

Yeah, I have a feeling that we'll talk about these guys more later in the podcast. Most definitely. And then, as you mentioned, we just got back from out of town. We went to see some friends that we met on vacation and didn't seal the deal with. We didn't close the deal with. That's right. And I got in trouble for that.

you did by mrs jones so i had to pay my penance it was horrible that you made me do that i know i know but oh my gosh well yeah it was worth the drive for sure yeah and you know what let's talk about that for a minute because you know what i mean first of all they're a fantastic couple very attractive um very intelligent super solid couple yeah yeah and they're a soft swap couple yes they are and we haven't forced ourselves to do soft swap we've talked about it before you know we always say how fun soft swap is but they're soft swap couple and so we're like okay that's cool and i keep forgetting um d mentioned it on their podcast that i listened to today you know we we forget that just because you're full swap that doesn't mean you can't stop swap but we've done that before i know we have we have other really really good friends i know that are soft swap we do yes and we can have some really ridiculous fun with them well that's my point that's my point is i think sometimes i get caught up in full swap and then i forget but you know they reminded us that they were soft swap and i said okay that's that's cool and you know it was just nice to the connections you can make in soft swap as i think the four-way connections are stronger in a soft swap than on a full swap i i agree with you and well i don't know that they're stronger but they can be just as strong and the thing i like about it is that it takes the pressure off of everybody especially the men yeah um because you're you get to have sexy fun you know the little bit taboo and you get to kind of experience some variety but then you get to go back to that safety and security of your spouse yeah and and finish with them so i think it really takes a lot of pressure off of men to be able to enjoy the evening without that you know anxiety of oh my gosh i'm gonna have to watch my wife have sex with somebody else you know especially if you're fairly new in the lifestyle yeah um but that's kind of that's part of what we're gonna be talking about tonight you know that that whole thing can be really stressful.

But when you're in a soft-swap situation, I think that that alleviates some of that stress. Yeah, and you know what? I have another confession to make. What? He was talking a lot about prostate stimulation. I know.

You guys were having a deep conversation about it i know it kind of intrigued me oh and you know i'm still look i'm a i'm an over 50 white guy i've i've been conditioned i'm trying to recondition we just talked about this on our last episode yeah but here's his sales pitch it's you know it's not hey stick something up your butt it's hey i had a two minute orgasm by prostate stimulation and i said you have my attention a two minute orgasm he said well i had to work up to that but he said the first one was like 30 seconds long and then he explained to me how it works and what he used and the biology behind it or physiology behind it.

And I said, you know what? That makes a lot of sense. That might be worth exploring. So, okay. So here's the backfill to this. So they're having this conversation. We had gone out to dinner and had a lovely dinner with all four of us.

And then we came back to the hotel and they stopped by their hotel room and and uh got something to change into and got their swinger bag and they come to our room and we have music playing and i made drinks for everybody and uh the wife and i are sitting on the bed next to each other and in practically nothing yeah and we have a a sexy game that we're ready to play and we're all drinking cocktails and you two are talking about prostate stimulation which i'm not saying isn't i'm not saying that that's not sexy but you guys were so engrossed in this conversation and she and i were just looking at each other like because we didn't really have anything to contribute to that particular conversation so she and i just started making out yeah i know that well that when you started making out that stopped our conversation that was wrong that's a transition well i mean you know what i'm tired of the i'm tired of the orgasms being all about the women if i can have a two minute orgasm i'm willing so when you say two-minute orgasm are you was he saying okay so was he saying he could have one from from like the time you begin to play he could actually have an orgasm two minutes later or did his orgasm last for two minutes so the ejaculation part of it was the same but it was the prostate, the convulsion or the...

So the ejaculation part of it was the same, but it was the prostate, the convulsion. So the actual orgasm lasted two minutes. Yeah, yeah. It's the prostate that continued to contract because of the positioning of the inserted device, which he showed me a picture of and sent me an Amazon Prime link to. And then he sent you two. You got a beginner one. Yeah. And then a more advanced one. Yeah. I saw that. And speaking of all that, you got some toys in your naughty stocking. We never, we didn't. Oh, right. We have a naughty stocking report that we have to give.

And I think some of them we haven't even used yet. No, we haven't. You got the Womanizer 5000 or whatever that was. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. You know, I highly recommend it. I've only gotten to use it twice. But you're two for two. And I used it on somebody else once. You're batting a thousand. Yeah. When you turn this thing on, you got to Google it. It's a womanizer. Is there like a model number to it? I think it's 5,000. Seriously? Yeah. That's hilarious. It sounds like something from Star Trek. Or 500. I don't know. It's not cheap. Well, it's not $5,000. That's the. No. That's the.

That's the model. Model number. Yeah.

So when Mr jones gave it to me i was like hmm i mean i i knew i wanted it because i had played with one at desire in august when we had our little girl play somebody shared one with you yeah yeah when we had that girl night and that's what i put it on the audi list yeah so but when i got mine i'm like it must not be fully charged because i turned it on and it was like and i put it like on the palm of my hand because it's supposed to have like a vacuum suction and then it vibrates and and it's kind of circular supposed to it so it like fits over your clit and it's supposed to like provide a little vacuum and then vibration but when i like put it on my hand i'm like it's not anything.

This is like going to really be a letdown because like, you know, I need some stimulation. And I was like, okay, well, I guess I'll play with it. I mean, I had like an orgasm with not two minutes long, but like within two minutes. It was ridiculous. I know. Like, I couldn't believe it. I know. That's why I put it in your stocking. It was amazing. I know. So then I used it on a friend, and I think she liked it. So, oh, wait. Now, wait. What did she say? I don't know. When she had her orgasm. Oh, yes.

She said, mother, and she stopped herself from cussing because she didn't want to cuss, so she said, mother, may I? I said, what, mother, may I? Where does that come from? That was the funniest thing. Like she said it, and the other three of us, because I was like using a vibrator on her. And then you and her husband were just kind of assisting. You were my assistants. And I don't know where you all had some body part of hers that you were paying attention to. And the three of us just all stopped. We looked at each other like, what did she just say? And she couldn't remember what she said.

She said, I don't remember. State of mind. And then she's like, yeah, I guess I did say that, couldn't remember what she said she said i don't remember state of mind and then she's like yeah i guess i did say that didn't i it was so funny mother may i have an orgasm i got a toy that i haven't used yet yeah it's the same one that um that d had at desire that looks like a barrel of monkeys with a vagina in the middle of it oh i remember that i that. I haven't used it yet, dang it. I know. It is on our to-do list. Yeah. And then you got an NJOY? Yes. That stainless steel thing. Yes.

And somebody used that on you. Like a couple days ago. Yeah, how was that? It's oddly interesting like i i haven't really made friends with it yet because it's so like if you guys don't know what it is it's stainless steel and it's kind of like it's curved it's curved and it's got like a bigger ball on one end and a smaller ball on the other end and it can either be like for G-spot play or anal play or prostate stimulation. Um, and I'm really trying to make friends with it. It's just, it's super unforgiving.

So you, you've got to use it just the right way or it's actually kind of uncomfortable, but you know, because, and I think really think really the main tool the main reason of this tool is to kind of make women squirt because it it's really shaped to get your g-spot um and i i think that always feels kind of weird anyway like you know when you're like you ladies that squirt i don't know if you feel the same way but sometimes like right right before I squirt, it actually feels uncomfortable. It doesn't feel good. It feels weird and kind of achy and weird. And that's what the enjoy does.

So I'm trying to make friends with it. That's kind of like a really long explanation, but I think the ladies out there probably know what I'm talking about. And then you got the enjoy butt plug that we haven't tried yet. No. But that's kind of big. It makes the ones that C&D brought to Desire look just like baby butt plugs. Yeah, we're going to have to work our way up to that one. Did they not have dimensions on the website when you bought that one? Maybe. I don't remember. Yeah. It's pretty, though.

I got you a dress, and then it's the usual condoms and lube and all that stuff was there something else we got some really good lube yeah and the squirter but in the pump yeah the pump bottle yeah that's really good stuff yeah um so yeah that's oh i got you what else did i get you like cologne and yeah just typical not boring naughty stocking stuff yeah that's okay I don't know. We had fun. Yeah, it was fun. Another success. It was great to get emails from people who told us what was on their naughty stocking list.

And in our newsletter, we sent out an example of our naughty stocking list with links to where to buy everything. I know. And that was a very popular thing to click on. Yeah. Well, everything you made a link to. I did. It was like a one-stop shopping list. I know. So if you are not subscribed to our newsletter, you need to go to our website and do that. You would have had that well in advance of Christmas. Hey, you know what somebody told me? Somebody emailed me. They had a question about something on the naughty stocking list.

And they said, you know, we don't do naughty stockings for Christmas. She said, but we do the same thing for Valentine's Day. Yeah. But they call it something different.

So she's just now starting to shop for her naughty, quote stocking okay so that's what you can do yeah um if you didn't get the newsletter and you want to do a naughty stocking on valentine's day it's time to start shopping for that so just send me an email and i'll send you the list right all right maybe i can like re rebrand the list and we can put it out in february yeah so that's what's been up with the joneses this past month and when we come back we're going to get into our topic about closing the deal.

You playtime yes let's talk about closing the deal you know one of the um the things going back to desire because i i just can't let it go you know we're we're only five months away from our next trip yeah yeah so but i'm still reflecting back on last november and one of the most common conversations I had with people throughout the week was people asking us for advice on how to close the deal. You know, we talked about how amazing the group was and how well everybody got along. And that's absolutely true.

But kind of the flip side of it being a very, social group yeah is it was a very very social group yes meaning it wasn't a super sexual group well we talked about how many people were socializing in the hot tub compared to normal but usually it's hard to find a jacuzzi bed and this this month or this trip the, the jacuzzi beds were all open. Well, they weren't all open, but mostly. You could get one if you wanted one. I think there was always at least one or two available beds. Yeah, so there was less playing going on, at least in the jacuzzi beds, than what we normally see. Yeah.

Yeah, so we want to see more action next time. So that's what this podcast is about. That's right. So we got 10 months to get everybody up to speed here. Well, I mean, this whole lifestyle is socially awkward. Well, yeah. You have to learn how to be social in it.

And transitioning from the very first time that you meet a couple through that conversation through uh flirting and then getting to the point where you you play is especially awkward because that's something that you don't do every day right you know and then you know when when you're at um like a meet and greet or like um the new year's eve party we just went to or any kind of a big event like that and you're meeting people and you're socializing with them, you know, you've got all these distractions going on around you.

So you're trying to focus on the people that you're trying to like move forward with, but at the same time you have, it's like constant overstimulation. And, and, you know, with, with all of those distractions on top of your anxiety and your nervousness, it's just really hard to confidently keep things moving forward, you know, and having that, that just conversation that needs to be had without it being like painfully awkward.

yeah so it and it really should be natural but in the beginning and even for sometimes when you're more experienced it's it's not natural it's not natural i mean we've been doing this for a long time and it's still difficult yeah so speaking of us there's been a few times when we've not done this very well. And we mentioned a couple that we just had down in the month of December. And the first time that we were with them, and this happened right after we were outed. And that was one of the reasons we weren't really. Is that our excuse? Yeah, that's our excuse that we're sticking with it.

And we had them over and we really weren't, we didn't have our mojo that evening. It was totally me. I was a mess. Thank you.

sticking with it and we had them over and and we really weren't we didn't have our mojo that evening it was totally me i was a mess yeah so so we let them they they left we it's not like we let them leave but nothing happened we had a good time but there was no play oh i mean they're just genuinely nice people and they're very very kind yeah and when they and when they left we were both kicking ourselves because we thought dang that that was a what what happened that was a good opportunity and you know i think they liked us and i think you know we definitely like them and and then it took us another six months but we finally ran into them well we saw them at an event and then we saw them at another event and then we're like hey yeah let's get on the calendar and we did and boy it was easy actually it was pretty easy the second time yeah i mean the good thing about it is we were able to talk to them about why we weren't we weren't ourselves the last time right you know and and they knew yeah i mean yeah and they knew but we made up for it the second time yeah i mean we had a really good time did we even need the card game i don't even think we didn't i don't think nope no i don't think so yeah i think it just took maybe a little uh ladies change into something more comfortable and yeah that's about it yeah that was fun so so fortunately um we made up for that one and But there's other times, like a couple of times we've caught ourselves at desire, and you look up and you're still in the hot tub and it's 3 o'clock in the morning and you're talking to a couple that really two hours ago or three hours ago you wanted to invite back to your room.

I know. But you just stood there and we socialized. I know. I don't know why we do that. I know. It's moving. You know, some of it is the fascinating conversation. But the other part of it is just, how do I do this? How do I change gears? How do we go from talking about this to, hey, you know, do you want to go back to our room? And it's not easy. Right.

Or just get up and get on a jacuzzi pad i mean right good grief and sometimes you can be like messaging back and forth with people and the conversation just goes back and forth and back and forth and back and forth but it never takes that turn right it never moves forward yeah you know so we've we've actually met um a couple couples and and some um people on lifestyle websites lately and and has actually been on our personal profile and that's been kind of fun yeah um and sometimes things just don't move forward for whatever reason and you you have to kind of figure out well where do we just kind of cut our losses yeah well we said what do they call it like i've never been a fisherman fisher cut bait or something like that that's right is that right yeah that's right well you were saying well because you were doing the corresponding in this case and you said well i use this word and that didn't do it what word should i use next time and i said well maybe you should just come out and say this.

And you, you danced around. And I did. And yeah. And then the message back kind of just, it just glossed it over. Right. So I guess that, yeah, I guess that means it ain't going to happen. Well, you know, I guess we have to be more direct. Well, you know, you're usually the hunter. I am. I know. And, and when you have me take the lead on something, I don't know. I feel like I kind of flounder around. You can be more direct. Yeah. I'm more of a tiptoer. I know. And when I'm direct, you always say, well, gosh, that was pretty direct. You make me feel bad. Well, sometimes you are. I don't know.

I know, but it works. I guess. No guessing. It works. Look at the track record. That's true. I mean, you got to move it along. That's true. Yeah, and if you don't. I'm not necessarily good at that. And I know people can relate to this, but how many times have we been to an event or a party or desire or synergy event or whatever, and we're talking with a couple and we're interested in them. And then we don't do anything or we move along to talk to somebody else. And then we go to the playroom and there they are in the playroom with somebody else. And we're like, damn. We're like, daggone it.

That could have been us. No, we let them slip away. Why did we do that? I know. Yeah. I don't know. And, you know, when we did that, when speaking of C&D, the first time we went to Naughty and New Orleans and we had them in our room. They were in our room. I know, and you let them leave. I did not let them leave. Yeah. Don't blame that one on me. Yeah, another missed opportunity. Well, a 16-month wait was worth it. Yeah. More than worth it.

Yeah, and one of our friends, actually, the couple that we spent this past weekend with, made a comment about they made the mistake of going to a secondary location after dinner instead of inviting somebody back to their room. I love that. And that was like kicking the can down the road. Yeah. And then what happens is you waste a lot of time. Right. And then people get tired. Right. And you've lost your opportunity. Right. I mean, he was saying it's not necessarily a bad thing.

I mean, like if you, so like his premise was, you know, you have dinner with somebody and the dinner's fantastic and everybody's getting along, everybody's connecting.

but then he said sometimes you'll go to like you know you'll find a pub to go to or a wine bar or something after dinner and then once you get there the conversation keeps flowing and then you're drinking and then everybody just starts winding down and getting tired right and he's like and then the nobody pulls the trigger he's like if you're really connected at dinner and you know you're headed to a hotel room, just go to the hotel. Yes. Yeah, so those are some different scenarios that we've either been a part of or that we've heard from other people or friends have told us about.

And if you've been in the lifestyle for any amount of time, you can certainly relate to those. Or if you haven't, this is the situation you're going to find yourself in or if you have a different scenario send us an email absolutely so let's talk about how to move this conversation forward because that's what this is about right yeah yeah so direct communication the thing that you don't like that i like i a dancer around her. I know. Well, so get your pencils out because here's an example of some direct communication. And it can be, look, hey, we are really super interested in you guys.

And we would love to take things further with you. And if you're interested at all in us, get together and chat and just come find us and let us know. Right. And, you know, that's, we've done that a few times. Sometimes it works. Most of the times it worked. One time. We scared the bejeebers out of a lady once. I think we can say what party it was. We were in Miami at a Do You Know George weekend. And it was the third night. I think it was the third night. So we had talked to this couple before, and they were on our dance card. And we approached them, and we said that. Yeah.

And the wife immediately turned around. They were super new. Yeah. She turned around at the bar, picked up her her drink and just shot it back and then walked away well i think i i in their defense i think we would have been their first experience yeah i'm just saying it didn't work yeah i know for for but you know the weekend was winding down it was now or never and we didn't get we didn't get bent out of shape about it i and good for them. I mean, we had to tell them that we were interested. I know. Yeah. She wasn't ready. Her husband was. Her husband was kind of like, hmm.

He said, what, what, where are you going? And then he apologized. He said, I'm sorry, we're interested. I just don't think we're ready. And yeah. So when somebody walks away from you, then it didn't, you can count that up as not working. Well, and it doesn't mean that they're not interested in you. It just means that for whatever reason, they're not in the position to say yes. Yeah, right. Whether it's lack of experience or lack of communication between the two people. Right. So being direct is the right thing to do.

It's just very hard very hard for me to do yeah and so you don't have to be that direct you can also say hey we'd love to extend the evening extending the evening is a great phrase to use because you know hey would you would you love to come would you like to come back to the room for a drink and extend the evening right you're really not promising anything but you're clearly signaling room extending the evening right I'll see you next time.

drink and extend the evening you're really not promising anything but you're clearly signaling room extending the evening right and if somebody says yes to that or and and always say hey and if you guys want to step away and talk about that you know we're just offering up the invitation right yeah so so that's another way to say it that's super helpful too because sometimes you feel put on the spot when somebody is super direct and, um, and, and it's okay.

Like if you end up, like if somebody propositioned you directly and you kind of look at each other, like, oh my gosh, this is really going to happen. Are we okay with this? Um, if you say, you know, we need a minute to talk. And if other couple that propositioned you gets offended, then you don't want to play with them to begin with. Exactly. That's a good point. Yeah. And let's flip this around. Let's say you are the one that gets propositioned.

Instead of downing your drink and walking away, you know, another thing that's good to do is just to say, hey, you know, we can't play tonight, but it's not because we aren't attracted to you and we're not interested. We'd love to catch up with you at another date.

And it may be that somebody's on their period and not comfortable, or it may be that you're new, or it may be that one of you is under the weather, or it may be that you've promised another couple something, but it's not that you're not interested in the couple so if you just walk away and don't say anything then that couples may think well you're not interested right so it's perfectly also fine to say we are super flattered by that and if it were any other night we would be up for that and can we get your contact information because we'd love to meet you here again and we'd love to do something in the future.

Right. And leave it at that. Right. And you newbies out there, if you can't say yes because you're just too scared, just say that. Yeah. Because we've all been new. Right. Being afraid and not ready, I think is a good thing. Right.

Because being honest with yourselves and that means that you're you're smart enough not to just dive in head first and say all right well let's just try this and we'll figure out how to clean this up later yeah and this can be a conversation it doesn't have to be do you want to do this yes or no right if you're if you're afraid and you say you're afraid it's perfectly fine for for somebody to say, well, well, what is it that you're afraid of? You know, have you thought about that? Is it, you know, is it tell us?

Because if it's, if they say, well, you know, we've, we know that you guys are experienced and then you can say, well, that's not what we're all about. You know, we're all about connecting with you. And so if we've given you the impression that we're only full swap or if that's what you're afraid of, so turn it into a back and forth, have a direct conversation back and forth. It's so refreshing to be able to do that, not only with your own partner, but with other couples in the lifestyle.

So if you make something up or if you get nervous and scared and run away, then people are going to fill in the blanks of the rest of the conversation that you did not provide back to them. Right. And then if you're the one that got scared and ran away, then the next time you're still going to be scared and want to run away. Right. You know, if you can find a couple that you feel comfortable with to actually confess, we're scared to death. We've never done this before. Yeah.

You know, then whatever baby step you can take with that couple that night go ahead and just be brave enough to take that step yes no matter what it is yeah i mean we're a full swap couple and if and if the couple is a is a fun couple to hang out with and they're just you know they're sexy and they're connected if we just did parallel play with a couple, that would be fun. Yeah. I mean, I don't have to full swap with everybody. Yeah. Yeah. So if you're not that direct or if direct communication scares you a little bit, then try some sexy conversation. Right.

This will help change the subject from kids or work or or or anything yeah to something more sexual and sensual so so what you might want to do is describe your sexual preference again like you love to ask this question you loved because you just love to watch ladies play together so you love to no ask ladies about what turns them those are mutually exclusive events i do like to watch ladies play together but my my question is based on a couple of things first of all sometimes i do forget i don't i don't remember if she's bi curious or bisexual or not and because first of all i want to know because how are we going to start the evening right if she's straight then we're not going to expect the two ladies to get together right so so it's good to know because if she says straight then i know okay well then i'm the one that has to make the first move and not you but the other part is it starts a good conversation and the woman will say well i don't really know what i am or i do know what i am and it's this or i don't know at first i thought this and then i then it's that and you usually get a story or two out of that and that's usually a sexy story oh right i mean we can kind of share our experiences right i mean i i love talking to women about you know what their experience is and and you know what you know one thing i like to talk about with women is you know what what kind of sex toys they like to play with yeah right because we all have our favorites and and there's so many different like types of toys and brands of toys and it's just it's so much fun to hear you know what turns people on right and if you're in your house or if you have them with you you can do like a little show and tell yeah i like doing that and you'll say oh where does that one go how do you use that one and then you'll take it and you'll put it there and you'll say well you start it right here and that usually moves the conversation in the right direction and speaking of swinger bags a lot of people will say, well, what do you keep in your swinger bag?

Yeah. Well, what do you keep in your swinger bag? Well, let me show you what I have in my swinger bag. I know. It's not just toys. It's a show and tell. Yeah. So that's a good conversation to have. And then describing your play style as a couple. Right. You know, to say, well, we are situational or we are soft swap and this is what we enjoy. And it again, it opens the lines of communication up, but it also opens up for a story and it helps you to understand and get to know the couple a little bit better. Yeah.

You know, so we played a game last weekend with our out-of-town friends that we met in the negative five degree weather and um they they brought a game and one of the that one of the questions was share uh an amazing lifestyle experience yes and all four of us.

I made all of us do it yeah and it was just really fun to hear what stuck out in people's minds it wasn't necessarily the most crazy sexual thing sometimes the stories were funny you know sometimes they were recent sometimes they were like one of the first lifestyle experiences people had you just don't know and and i think every time i answer that question i answer it differently yeah Here we go.

they were recent sometimes they were like one of the first lifestyle experiences people had you just don't know and and i think every time i answer that question i answer it differently yeah yeah well that's what she said remember she said well usually it's our most recent right experience right was the most amazing well they're a new couple so yeah yeah so i think they're uh growing exponentially yeah at this time. Yeah, so you have these sexy conversations. And then another thing that you'll start to do at this point in time is start some really explicit and flirting. Right.

And so now you're talking about, well, do you want to describe your signature move or should I describe it? You know, we're giving away all of our secrets. So now when we get together with people, they know what to expect from us. Yeah. Okay, well, then that'll be more direct communication, because they'll be able to connect the dots. Just like when Jay and Kay said, steak at the Jones house is code. Right. Now everybody knows.

Yeah knows yeah yeah so i like to make cocktails just in case there might be one or two people out there that don't know that yeah and um even like when we traveled i brought my variety of of things to make cocktails in our hotel room because i just i enjoy it it. Yes, she did. And it's so funny because honestly, I really don't get drunk very often. It's rare. I probably get tipsy twice a year maybe. Yeah. I don't know, but I really enjoy making drinks and I enjoy the taste of drinks, but I don't overindulge. But I do enjoy making a cocktail.

So when I make a cocktail for somebody, you know, it's not free. What do you mean? Well, I have to charge a kiss. Okay. Yeah. So I hand deliver it and, you know, that's just the, so I have an expectation. You know what your technique is? What? You probably don't even know this. You pick up the martini glass, let's just say. Okay. And you hold it out. And then when they start to grab it, you pull it back. I do. Yes. And at the same time you pull it back, you turn your chin up. I stick my lips out. You do. And they're like, what? Huh? Oh, okay. I guess I got to pay the toll. I know.

Yeah, so that's one way. And I love being a girl because I get to kiss everybody. I know, you get to kiss both of them. I know. Yeah. And what I like to do is I like to notice things about the other woman and comment about that. We were with another couple recently, and she had, you know, I love the clothes that are in style this year for women with the open shoulders. Cold shoulder. Yeah, whatever it's called. That's the name of it, cold shoulder. I see skin is what I call it. There's holes where the shoulders are, right? And I like when you do this because your shoulders are amazing too.

But if you can, you can imagine like a conductor of a choir when you lift your arms up like that. And you see the muscles, you know, underneath the, near the armpit and the shoulders. Yeah, you like that and you see the muscles, you know, underneath the, near the armpit and the shoulders. Yeah, you like that. And I'll say, oh, my gosh, you have nice shoulders. Or whatever it is. It can be eyes or it can be anything. And I like to point that out. And that usually helps move things along. You can be quite the charmer when you want to be. Yeah, I'm getting better.

getting better uh and then you know physical touch i mean when you're sitting next to somebody at the table and and start using your hands when you're talking but reach across and just touching the forearm or if you're standing next to somebody i like to put my hand in the small of her back or you know just her hip just for a minute just to grab her attention yeah you Do you know what else works? What?

when it's five below and you have to uber four tenths of a mile to someplace yeah and you get an uber and there's four people that have to get in so every time and i know this is not comfortable for you guys but you and the other husband who is actually a tall man as well you took turns sitting in the front seat with the uber driver but then the other three of us had to sit in the back and we kept putting you guys in the middle yeah which was hilarious i mean you especially have super long legs but we would cram you in the middle and you wouldn't even complain in the uber because then you would have complain on one side and the other beautiful lady on the other side and it was cold so we were all huddled together yes and i had my left hand on her right thigh and my right hand on your left thigh i know warming my hand i know and then when it was your turn to ride up front then the other husband had the yes the same lot in life yes that's a fun way to uh yeah get comfortable with people yeah and another one of my little flirting secrets is, and that's not a secret, I've said this before, but I love when women don't appreciate how beautiful they are.

And actually, that reminds me, when we were away this weekend, the four of us went to have brunch with two of our listeners. Oh, yes. From that city. And they were so kind they invited us um they said we we you know you're if you're ever in our area let us know and we did and we were so wishy-washy because we weren't like the weather was horrible last weekend and we actually had to come home early yeah so i emailed them at like one o'clock in the morning and i said well we're not going to go to lunch tomorrow we're going to're going to go to breakfast at 930 if you want to go.

Here's where we're going. And certainly they got up and they met us there. Oh, and we found the best place for breakfast. That place was so cool. Yeah. So we were eating breakfast and she was telling a story and her husband said something about her being beautiful. And she like rolled her eyes and she looked at me and I said, no, I said, you're a beautiful woman. She was very beautiful. I said, and I'm not your husband. And she kind of blushed in her, in her husband said, was nodding and said, like, see, I told you so.

And he didn't say that, but I love to tell another woman, you know, that especially that, that they, they don't, they don't think that they are, are but they are so that's the flirting part of it yes but then there has to be some action that's right you've got to take a step forward yeah so how do you get now that you've been director and director you've done your sexy talking and you've done flirting well seriously anybody that listens to us knows about the dumb card game yeah that is why it was invented and a lot of people bought the dumb card game over christmas really yeah all right yeah we're happy about that yeah well we have a promo code now right and people actually get a discount now wgt10 for the game of lifestyle check out our website yeah so the dumb card game is good because that gets you in doing conversations and um actions yeah yeah and uh we did speaking of games over this weekend we played the game you were referring to was sexy jenga yes they took a pen and they just wrote things on the blocks right and when you pulled a block out you read it and then you had full creativity and control you could do it yourself or you could direct somebody else to do it or all four people could do it depending on what it was right and they weren't um they did a really good job of coming up with things to write on the blocks because it wasn't like you know give the give the guy on your left a blowjob.

It was, they were sexy things. Like most of us were naked pretty quick. Yeah. We kept losing articles of clothing, but it was almost like, I don't know, truth or dare. A lot of them were tell something. You know, or answer some sort of question. Yeah. It was really fun. Yeah. And I think, think let's see who knocked the tower over at the end to make the game over me and that would have been you yeah i it was gonna go on much too long so i knocked it over this game's stupid hey you know i didn't see anybody complaining nope i think we were ready yeah so the game had its purpose. Yes, it did.

Another thing you're good at. Oh, changing into lingerie. Yeah, you always suggest that. Yes, after dinner. Yeah. Well, you do the dishes. Yeah, but even this past weekend. Well, right. We were at a hotel. We were at a restaurant. Right. And you just said, I'm going to go get into something more comfortable. Yeah. And then that started it. Well, they were coming to our hotel room. So I said, you know, I'm going to go back to the hotel room and change. So, you know, if you have anything with you, you could bring it. So obviously she wore normal clothes because they were on different floors.

But when she got to the room, she changed. And oh, my goodness. Yes. And you both had almost, well and you both had sheer black robes on. Well, I had a little black mesh fishnet thing on with a robe, and she had on a brown panties with a little robe. She's amazing. Yeah, she has a nice body. Yeah. Where were we? Okay, I don't even know. But anyway, when you change into the lingerie, then the touching and the caressing. Yes. Beyond flirting. Well, especially if both women are at least bi-comfortable. You know, we can kind of admire each other's lingerie.

Even if you're not, I can start touching the other woman. Well, that's true. That's true.

I mean, if we've gotten that far and there's lingerie something's gonna happen yeah yeah so um well and you know so let me back up the train a little bit so it depends on how well you know the people you're playing with too so we um like two weekends ago when our super good friends came in from out of town and we hung out with them on new year's eve you know we we've been with them so much now it they're just they're so comfortable to be around you know we don't i didn't even bring the dumb card game no to the hotel because we just don't need it with them.

And our time with them is so precious because they literally live on the other side of the country that we don't want to waste a moment with them. Yes. And the transition in that case is so easy. So then if we go to this past weekend you know it was actually pretty easy with this couple too even though we had never played with them before we hung out with them for a whole week on vacation yeah and had wonderful conversations and and actually this weekend we didn't stop talking either like all four of us are talkers it's crazy. It's kind of hard to get a word in edgewise.

But we have so much in common. And we're very like-minded about the way we think of the world in general. Yes. So, we have these amazing conversations. And at the same time, we're also attracted to each other.

It was hard to transition because it was hard to stop talking but then once we did that that um that chemistry was there we didn't have to explore that yeah well i i just want to correct one thing that you just said and that was it was hard to stop talking because as you mentioned before he and i were talking about prostate simulation and when you started making making out you could got really quiet in the room you could have heard a pin drop yeah the blood was redirected there was no more blood filling the brain with oxygen to think about what to converse about and it went down to the lower extremity yeah that's how you stop us from Yeah.

I think we both know our husbands pretty well. That was easy. Yeah. Well, and you know, here's the thing about where we're headed next. And that's you're headed to the bedroom now. And, you know, we made this big deal about like rules and guidelines and boundaries and understanding what play styles are. But if you think back through this episode and this topic, we've talked about things to do that are naturally going to bring out other people's desires and rules and boundaries and limitations.

So instead of sitting down with the list and saying, okay, we do this, we don't do this, we do this, we don't do this.

When when you say what is your sexiest experience or what is your play style or tell us are you bi-curious or not you're hearing a story and you're having a conversation but you're also learning what their comfort level is right and they're not going to tell you something that they're not comfortable doing right so by the time you get to this point and you're moving into the bedroom there's very little more that you need to talk about though there is something that you need to talk about and um and that is when you're going to into the bedroom it's okay let's one more time let's check are we full swap are we soft swap or you know it's not bad to throw that out there okay so i mean full disclosure here so last weekend we hung out with these people all week at desire yeah and we continued the conversation when we got home through kick yeah and we decided that we had missed a serious opportunity in Mexico.

So we put a date on the calendar, like probably within two weeks of getting home from desire. And we went to meet him last weekend. And, and when we got there, they said, do you guys realize we're soft swap? No, they didn't ask then. They asked when we were moving to the bed. Right. He said, you realize we're soft swap, but you know what? It didn't matter. It didn't matter.

That's why, that's why we didn't ask then they asked when we were moving to the bed right he said you realize we're soft swap but you know what it didn't matter it didn't matter that's why that's why we didn't ask right because it didn't matter to us we we were we just wanted to be with them right yeah but he's the one that that did i wasn't even thinking about it you know he said hey just let you know we're soft swap and i said okay no problem i'm good to go yeah but i mean and then And he said something hey, just let you know we're SoftSwap. And I said, okay, no problem. I'm good to go.

Yeah, but I mean. And then he said something about, well, I'm glad you don't regret driving all this way for a SoftSwap experience. And we're like, are you kidding me? Oh, gosh, yeah. Yeah. No. No, if that would have been a problem, we would have asked when we first met them. Or we would have asked before we set the date up.

Or we would have asked before we drove all that way if it mattered to us that's true you know that because i'm we probably should be better about talking about that but maybe it's because it really doesn't matter that much to you and i know as long as we have that connection the actual physical acts um can be what they need to be to make everybody comfortable. So when he said that, there was two things that came to mind. First of all, it didn't alarm me at all. It didn't stop me at all. We were going to go play.

The second thing I thought of was, you know what, I'm really glad because you and I have not soft-swapped in a long time. And so I was looking forward to soft-swapping with you. And I kind of needed that. We've been so busy lately. I kind of actually enjoyed being able to immediately reconnect with you. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, so you're right.

So let's talk about, about come on we're hopping in the sack or maybe another way to put that is and i'm the one that does this i'm the one that does this like shouldn't we be moving into the bedroom because when you're playing the game and you ladies are like are you and the other guy are making out on the sofa you know you, you're moving into something that's more comfortable. Let's get more comfortable. Right. So I'm usually the one. Can we just back up to New Year's Eve a little bit? Yeah. Because you were not the one. Oh, well, we're going to talk about that later. Okay.

It's not always you, honey. Yeah, but that was the second night. The first night we did go into the bedroom. Yes, we did. Yeah. And actually she and I played. Yeah, for a long time. Well, right, because otherwise you guys don't let us because you get like total television. No. He and I were sitting in chairs. First we had our legs crossed and then we had to uncross them because it got too uncomfortable. And we just sat and watched. Because you two, and I said this to them, Thank you. We had to uncross them because it got too uncomfortable. And we just sat and watched.

Because you two, and I said this to them, you know, you prefer men, obviously. And I wouldn't say you're bisexual. And there's some women that you connect with at a deeper level than others. But with her, you two could go all night. Yeah. And you just look so natural together. There's something about the two of you i mean i adore her husband and of course i adore you but there's she she and i are are very um i don't know we're just like-minded in what we enjoy and um i don't know there's chemistry and you know what they gave us the best compliment that compliment that a couple can give us.

They said, do you know what we like about you? We spent the whole weekend with you and you didn't get on our nerve one time. We just made him get frostbite by running around the whole freaking city of D.C. I said, that's a compliment when you can spend two full days with somebody and you don't get on their nerves.

Oh, yeah the best that's that chemistry yes yeah so anyway let's should we move this into the bedroom or hey you still have way too many clothes on i know let's get those clothes let's get the rest of that lingerie yeah lots of buttons to undo and belts to unbuckle yeah usually it's the guys if you haven't played a stripping game usually the belts start coming off and the shoes well right and you know well because the lady the other lady and i will change and i mean how many pieces can you have with lingerie you know maybe a bra and panties and yeah a little dress but usually it's not that many things yeah yeah so you guys are usually overdressed yeah and this is where you can use and i and i think of course asking consent even though you know you're headed into the bedroom but it's sexy to say you know may i kiss you well when you say that it's kind of like the the signal yes okay now here we go yeah can we move forward here we go because no matter what's happened up to this point in time no matter how far you've driven or flown no matter how many kicks messages and pictures you've sent when you get into the bedroom and the doors close if something isn't right then you can stop right there yeah and sometimes you really don't know what people are thinking until you get into that but that's a whole nother episode the bottom line here is we're just asking for consent.

May I kiss you? Or I really want to taste you. You know, that's the one I like. Instead of, can I go down on you? Although I've said that one before. I really like to taste you. Yeah, that always gets my attention. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Okay. Or one that you used was, hey, have you ever tried a strap on before? And the guys got real quiet on that one. Not to a guy, honey. Be clear about that. Well, no, the first part of it is, she's not talking to me. Oh, good. No, she's talking about my wife. I'm not talking about Peggy. And then the husband chimes in. No, honey, you haven't.

Or do you want to try the sex swing? Yeah. Or do you want to try the essence chair? Yep.

or do you want us do you want to try the sex swing or do you want to try the essence chair yep or do you want us do you want to go and get a massaged into the massage table you know so those are questions hey i got you massage oil for christmas and we have not been in there yet we've been delinquent this pesky like family stuff has just been like definite buzzkill yes it has yeah we got to get back on track yeah so anyway we're talking about direct communication sexy conversation flirting you know taking action moving forward and then and then the actual playtime itself right now Yeah.

You to keep an eye on the clock oh the fine print yeah other things to consider you got to keep an eye on the clock because you know some people have babysitters to get home and i'm good at this i'm good at moving things along because you'll i'll say honey i'm. Honey, are you going to make these people drinks? You know, is it time for me to start to grow? Yeah. You always say that. I never say it. Because you'll talk all, you'll eat hors d'oeuvres. Do I need to start to grow? I know. I'm going to clean up. I'm going to clear the table. You all keep talking. I'm like, I'm moving things a lot.

I'm going to clear the table and you ladies need to go change it to something more comfortable. That's what you say. Sometimes that's what I say. Sometimes. Sometimes you say it. Well, true. Because a lot of times the guy will get up and come help me and then you ladies will tootle upstairs and get your lingerie bags out. That's right. Yeah. And also it's important to check in with your partner. And this is all through the the evening is he or she still on board with the way things are going. You and I could be better at that. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, usually if, if somebody is like, like gone to a red light, you and I will pick up on that. But, you know, the whole, um, are we on equal playing field? Sometimes you and I kind of don't do as good of a job staying there as we could. And I'm just telling people that I'm not calling you out right now.

I'm just telling people we've been doing this for a while and we still can get out of balance that way in the, in middle of an evening so don't don't take it for granted right and you know we talked about consent earlier but really consent is something that occurs all through the play time um you're sometimes you're going to get it verbally but really guys especially you got to pay attention to body language and some cues that you might be receiving as you're going through play because you're playing with somebody for the first time here and you don't know what turns them on I mean you don't know what techniques they like and so you have to say oh is that something that she doesn't like or you know is this something that I should not be doing or is she starting to feel uncomfortable and ask, you know, what can I do here?

Am I doing this right? Yeah. that I should not be doing, or is she starting to feel uncomfortable? And ask, you know, what can I do here? Am I doing this right? What do you like and what do you not like? So again, it's a way to talk about what they like and don't like while at the same time kind of checking in on the level of consent. And you know, the other thing is that checking in with the level of consent is one thing, but then also keeping the timing right, because maybe the consent is there, but it's there 10 minutes later.

Maybe you're kind of like pushing somebody and they want to have fun with you, but they just need a little bit more time to kind of catch their breath and, you know, do a little bit of deep breathing and making a little bit more eye contact with their partner to kind of ease into the moment. So just keep an eye on people. You know, look for that deer-in-the-headlights look. It doesn't mean they don't want to do it. It just means they just need to breathe for a minute.

Right with our friends that came in town over uh new year's if you if you don't if you recall you two started before we did the full swap oh i know and that's because she was giving me a blow job and she really likes doing it yeah who am i i'm a gentleman who am i i'm not gonna tap her on top of the head i know it's time to move on Thank you.

job and she really likes doing it yeah who am i i'm a gentleman who am i i'm not gonna tap her on top of the head i know it's time to move on yeah yeah so that that's that was unusual because usually i'm the first one starting i know and really your pace forward it should be natural and and it should be as you're checking in back and forth you know hopefully you're doing the same things about the same time and both couples are moving forward at the same pace. Right. And if you need to take a break, take a break. That's right. I mean, grab another drink, make another cocktail, get a snack.

Or water at this point in time. Chocolate. Chocolate always works. Yeah, it does work. But be careful with the alcohol, especially when it's playtime because too much and guys can have the performance issues. Well, and yeah, I mean that whole liquid courage thing. I mean, a couple drinks will relax you and help you kind of keep your head up. You want your head in the game, but you don't want your head to be in charge of the game. You know, you kind of have to just allow it to happen. But, you know, one drink too many, and then all of a sudden your body will just start shutting down.

And speaking of timing and moving at the same pace, our trip this past weekend with the couple that we drove to visit, both of us guys finished at the same time. Oh, it was quite the crescendo. And she had the perfect phrase for it. What? She said, mangasms. Yeah. Yeah, that was really fun. Yeah, that was a lot of fun. Yes. Anyway, and the lastly, it's all about having fun. It is. Yeah. If you're not having fun, you've said this before. You're not doing it right. You're not doing it right. Yeah. Yeah. Or you're not with the right people or I don't know, timing's wrong or something. Yeah.

And maybe you're too nervous to really think about having fun the first time you're once you've been in a play situation for two or three or four times then all of a sudden it starts to be fun because you're not concerned and you're not as worried as you were and you're able to experience not be overwhelmed by everything. Right. Yeah. Did we miss anything? I don't know. Man that brought back a lot of good memories. Yeah. Yeah. We had a lot of fun this month. Yeah, and you know what? We don't really have any dates on the calendar coming up here. We have a dry spell coming up.

I have my man weekend coming up. Oh, I know. You got your golf weekend. And we have a couple coming into town for another event. They're going to have dinner with us, but that's about it. I know. Well, we do have a fun weekend in February. We do. Yes. With two couples that... Three couples. Three couples that we're good friends with. Yes. That's going to be fun. That is going to be a lot of fun, but that's like over a month away. Yeah, so when we come back, we're going to talk about... Do we have any snapshots left? We've been talking a lot about what we did this week.

Oh, I got a good snapshot. Yeah, I know you do. I got more than one, but I got one. This whole one snapshot thing is a bummer. All right, we'll be right back with snapshots. Okay. guitar solo Welcome back to our snapshot segment. It's steam. We're going to do something unique tonight. Well, have we never done this before? No. It's the same evening, just two different perspectives. Same playtime, same point in the playtime. Yeah. So we're going to tell one continuous story, but your snapshot is at the beginning and mine's towards the end. Right. So, that means you have to start. Okay.

Well, it all happened in a really awesome hotel room. Yes, it was. Yeah. So, we had a suite and it had a living room, like a whole separate living room. And it had a big, long, normal, huge sofa and then two easy chairs and this big glass coffee table yeah so we had pandora playing and um had some cocktails oh my gosh so i had too much time on my hands around the holidays and i made made homemade Godiva white chocolate liqueur. Oh, my gosh. It's really good. Even Mr. Jones liked it. I mean, it is so good. And it was my cocktail of the week for the last newsletter.

Yes, so if you're not on our mailing list. That's right. So I had brought this, and we had to keep it refrigerated, and it was a pain in the butt to bring up there but i did so we had gone to the new year's eve party and come home or come back to the hotel and we were drinking some godiva white chocolate liqueur and i had made homemade baileys too so we had both of those and, some chocolate and we were just enjoying kind of sitting around talking. And then all of a sudden we just started playing. Like we didn't need a game. We didn't need anything.

And the other husband was sitting in an easy, one of the easy chairs. So I went over and kind of climbed on top of him and started making out with with him and yeah so he was sitting in the chair and you were sitting you were facing him i was facing him i was straddling him with my knees i had like i don't know i had some lingerie on but not much right so he and i were like making out and i was kind of kissing him i think i might have like gotten down on my knees and given him a blow job. And she and I were on the sofa. Right. And we were doing the same thing. Right.

I mean, we weren't in the exact same position, but. Right. But he and I were in the chair and we were making good use of the chair. So, yeah, I think I had gotten down on the floor and I was giving him a blow job. And then he was playing with me. And then all of a sudden, I was straddling him on the chair, and he said, I want you to get up so I can go down on you. But he wanted to stay seated in the chair, so he wanted me up above him on this easy chair. So I was like, well, okay.

So I'm trying to figure out how i can like leverage myself to push myself up to get my my body up in the air for him to get under me and i guess i was kind of like floundering around too long because he just put one hand under each of my thighs and he literally like hoisted me up like like he was doing some sort of a deadlift or something. I don't know, like a press. And all of a sudden I go flying up in the air. And you landed right where you needed to land. I know.

My legs were kind of on the back of the chair and I was able to hold on with my hands to keep my balance and then he was going down on me with me up above him on the back of this chair. You went up on him. He didn't go down on you. So obviously it was really fun and he's very talented. So I was having a really, really good time until it was over. No. So before you get to that part, when you, when he hoisted you up, you, you made some sort of a squeal because the both of us stopped. I didn't really know he was going to do that. I mean, I just go flying up in the air. The both of us stopped.

And once we saw that he was successful getting you up there, we just stopped and watched because we hadn't ever seen that move before. So we were sort of concerned for your safety, but most of it was really hot. Well, then he finished what he was doing and it was time for me to get down. And then I just bust out laughing because I'm like, how am I going to get down? So now I'm just like howling, laughing and totally interrupting you again. No, we hadn't started back up. Oh, you hadn't? No, we were watching.

Yeah, when you started struggling, both she and I got up and we said, we're going to have to help out here. So she grabbed one elbow and I grabbed the other one and we both lifted you off of him. So yeah, so then I managed to get my feet back down on the floor and then we were all laughing. And then I didn't really know how we were going to transition back into that. So he just stood up and he literally just put his hands on my shoulders and he backed me all the way. And this was a big room. Backed me all the, down the room until I hit the wall. And then he had me up against a wall.

And then he just started like, doing me like right up against the wall. It was so hot. And he, he's actually pretty mild mannered gentleman.

So for him to like be really assertive like that was crazy crazy like the whole thing was crazy from when he hoisted me up above him on the back of that chair and then just taking me right up against that wall and having sex with me there it was just crazy yeah well when we got you okay so my part of it then is when we lifted you off of him and then I, I never saw him push you against the wall because she and I went back to the couch and she wanted to go down on me and, and she, she really, she's one of these women who just loves doing that.

and i love it when she loves doing that and i was paying full attention you know i was holding her hair back and, you know, just enjoying it. Oh, she's so beautiful. Yeah, she has an amazing body. And when she likes to do what she does, I just like to watch. And so for a long time, she just kept going. Yeah.

So anyway, about that time, you guys guys had he had already gone for the condom oh no no no so when he threw me against a wall he got down on his knees ah okay and he started going down on me again with me standing against the wall that's right he and i were not having sex yet because i had the swinger bag was in the bedroom back was to the wall? Yes, my back was to the wall. And then he got down on his knees and spread my, he made me spread my legs apart really wide and then he was going down on me with me back against the wall. Wow. And it was hot, it was so hot.

But no, we were not having sex yet because then after that, we went back to the chair because somebody was hogging the sofa and we, oh, I wanted to, I wanted to sit on his lap and have sex with him. So I said, I'm going to go in the bedroom and get some condoms. And he said, okay. So I went in the bedroom, got our little swinger bag and I brought it out. And when I pulled the condoms out of the little. Wait, you're getting into my story. Oh, okay, right, right. Okay, so your snapshot in amongst all of that was when he hoisted you up over his face. So then you guys came back.

He took you to the wall. You came back over. You went to get the condoms. Right. And I'm still, she and I are still enjoying. She's still giving me a blowjob. And so finally, I think she took a break for just a second. And I said, I think it's time for a condom. And she said, yes. So then all of a sudden I realized, I have no freaking idea where the sex bag is and the condoms. And I'm ready to go. And I'm going to have to go into the bedroom. And so as soon as I said that, I looked down at the coffee table right next to the sofa and what was there? A condom. And I'm like, my wife is the best.

So my snapshot is having that moment of panic. Like, you know, I'm really hard.

I really want to get in her quickly and damn it, I don't't know where the freaking condoms are and i look down and there's a condom and the angels were singing i know well because when i had gotten into the swinger bag and i pulled out the condoms the brand of condoms you you buy come and they always come like connected in twos skin brand yeah and there's you know perforation so i picked them out and i ripped one and i just i literally i wasn't even through i would like to take the credit and say i was a good wife and i was like putting the condom there for you to use hell no i just like ripped it and just threw the other one down on the coffee table and it just happened to land near you well whatever you knew i needed one yeah yeah so it's perfect yeah so i grabbed it and then she and i went to town oh my gosh it was so much fun yeah that was fun they're crazy it was a lot of fun okay yeah what episode did you say this was 45 45 all right it's about time to wrap up 45.

I think so. So before we leave you, don't forget, as we mentioned at the outset, Desire Pearl, June 23rd and November 10th. The cruise that we're going on is April the 28th. And don't forget, if you take a glimpse at our Navigating Your Lifestyle Journey course, that's online and you can link to that. There's a link to that from our website. That's right. Wegotathing.com. That's right. If you have any questions at all about that, we'd love your feedback. If you've looked at it and for whatever reason it doesn't interest you or you have some feedback for us, let us know what that is.

We always want to know what we do have some ideas ahead that we'll get into that we're going to offer some more products on the site yes but right now this is our main course and um we're really happy with it and if we could just figure out how to do marketing marketing is not our forte we've had quite a lot to learn about that, Mr. Jones is going to a marketing seminar tomorrow morning. I am. Yes. Yeah, there's no magic pill for this either. No, there's not. So, anyway, and we love emails, so please send us an email. We'd love to know you and know your story. Mr.

Jones, M-R-J-O-N-E-S, at wegotathing, W-E-G-O-T-t-a-t-h-i-n-g.com or mrs jones at we got a thing.com our website is we got a thing.com and on our website you can subscribe to our newsletter you can look at our online course you can read mrs jones's cocktail recipes yes you can read all of our. Plenty of things to do and see on our, and you can listen to our podcast. Of course. On our website as well. Follow us on Twitter at We Got a Thing and We have a Cassidy community. We do have a Cassidy community. And we have links to our, to join Cassidy and SDC on our website.

If you join from our link, they'll give you 90 days for free. And when you join, join our community. That's right. And we also have links to the dumb card game, which is actually, it has a real name called Game of Lifestyle. We do. And we have our sex, our essence sex chair, Revel revel furniture it's amazing yeah promo code wgt will get you five percent off and free shipping so check them out what else mrs jones i don't know honey i think that was plenty for one month all right then well thanks for listening we are mr and mrs jones and we got a thing. What's your thing?

We'll see you next time. So that's what's up with the Joneses this month. And when we come back. Ooh, that was a warm burp. That's disgusting. Well, why are you laughing?