Episode 43: Seven Sexy Swinger Sins

Transcript

This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us?

hello everyone i'm mr jones and i'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 43 of the we got a thing podcast cut no no cut it's not episode 43 it's episode the core 43 oh that's true 43 is my favorite number yes so other podcasters may celebrate 50, 75, 300. We celebrate 43. It's a big one. It is. And this is, it's amazing. Like, we can't make this stuff up. It all came together perfectly. No, we did make some of it up. No. It's legit. So, episode 43, the numbers four and three, right? So, how long have we been in a lifestyle? Four years. Four years.

This is actually, while we're at Desire next week, we're going to celebrate our four-year Swingiversary. Right. And how many years have we been podcasting? Three. Four. Three. Four minus three is one. No. It's the digits, four and three. Oh, four, three. Yeah. Forty-three. Yeah. I'm with you now. So three years of podcasting. So this is our podcast-iversary. Okay. And what's my favorite drink? Oh, well, liqueur 43, of course. Exactly. Right. So is that what you're drinking? Because I can't tell what that thing is. Oh, it's going to be my drink of the week for the newsletter.

It's got to be nasty. It is called a Pink Kiss 43. It's tequila rose, which is a strawberry cream liqueur that's tequila-based, obviously. And it's liqueur 43 and just a splash of milk. It's pink. It's over ice.

so it's kind of refreshing okay it's delicious well i'm going with the um good old dirty martini i know with the kettle one you're boring but it was made by mrs jones so it must be tasty must be yeah so 43 yeah so the core 43 episode 43 four years in the lifestyle three years podcasting and the title of tonight's episode is seven sexy swinger sins let's say you ruined it it's not 43 i did not what's the sum of the digits Seven. Four plus three is seven. Seven you ruined it. It's not 43. I did not. What's the sum of the digits? Seven. Four plus three is seven.

Seven sexy swinger sins is our title. I got another one. What? How many times did you nag me around the house this week about making my lunch not the right way, using the wrong cheese, putting things in the sink that was dirty? Well, it was seven. If it if it was only seven you should consider yourself lucky for a whole week I love you too honey I just don't like you looking over my shoulder when I'm trying to make a sandwich well one of us needs to get a job outside the house are you using the right cheese? I'm like I'm using the cheese I want to use. Did you use the rest of the old bread?

No it's stale why should I eat stale bread? Well then throw it away I get in trouble for throwing it away I can't win I don't know. I don't win. Oh, we love each other. I promise. Don't we have an announcement? We do. I feel like Trumpet should be blaring because our project is almost finished. It is coming together. It's going to be awesome. It is. It is. So here's the big reveal. Finally, we can reveal what we're doing. We're going to be offering an online course.

And what that course is going to do is it's going to be a resource to help all of our sexy friends out there navigate their way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us?

So what's it called then it's not called we got a thing what it's called is navigating your lifestyle journey got it because we always talk about that you know this is a journey that we're on and it's continuously you know growing and changing and enhancing itself over time so we're going to help you navigate your way through the lifestyle journey, whether you're starting at the very, very beginning, or whether you've kind of gotten in and had a false start and had to take a time out, or whether you just really want to learn more about it. So why would someone want to take an online course?

Well, what I like about online courses, and actually I took an online course this summer when I started my new business, and that's the way I kind of brushed back up on my skills and I got some certifications that I needed. And I liked it because an online course is a self-paced online product that's, like ours is going to be comprised of six modules, and then each module is going to contain several lessons that kind of break down that module into smaller little chunks.

And the format of the course that we're offering is going to be audio, so it's going to be like a podcast, but it's going to have slides that go with it that kind of describe everything.

And then in addition to the lessons where you're hearing our voices over top of slides, we're also going to provide several resources for each module that will be like downloadable handouts of stuff or like a list of discussion questions that you might want to go through as a couple or maybe links to some TED Talks that we like or some blogs or some other podcasts or some of our podcasts to kind of enhance the topic that you're looking over at that point in time.

Well, what I'm most excited about, in addition to the course, what we are going to offer with that is the option of joining a secure forum where you're going to be able to post questions that come up when you're taking the course. And not only can you get discussion questions and answers from Mrs. Jones and myself, but you're going to be able to get feedback from all of the other people who have enrolled in the course. And what's the cool thing about this is this forum also includes a private messaging feature.

So when you meet some people in this class in the forum you can private message them and connect individually if so desired so we're hoping that first of all you're going to get access to this in its lifetime right then you're going to get access to this forum and the more people that join the forum and have taken the course and can message each other we're hoping that that turns into a little little online community. Right. So this course that I took this summer, it has a closed Facebook group.

Of course, this is a group of professionals in a closed Facebook group, so you're not really worried about discretion and privacy as much. Mr. Jones and I didn't feel comfortable doing a private Facebook group for this type of membership, I guess. So we have found some software that does a form rather efficiently. So we're going to have several different options that you can decide to purchase. And one thing that you can do is add Skyping sessions on with Mrs. Jones and myself. So we realized that some people may have questions that they would like to have a conversation with us about.

And so we're going to give you the option to schedule one hour sessions during the course and then at the end of the course. So if you elect to do that, we're going to be able to Skype with you personally, if that's what you choose to do. Right. And once you purchase the course, you're going to have lifetime access to all of the course content and the form that we just mentioned. And as we enhance the course, and as the form grows with the members, you're always going to have access to the new content and the new sexy people that joined the forum. So Mrs.

Jones, why would somebody want to invest in this course when they already have access to 43 episodes of our podcast? Well, what we've realized is now that we have over 40 episodes, we've noticed that the topics are in no particular order. So, like, if you're new and you're looking for information, our podcasts are kind of a disjointed resource. The course, on the other hand, is going to be organized to take you from the very beginning of what, like defining what the lifestyle is, um, to talking to each other about joining the lifestyle to see if it's right for you.

And then, you know, moving on to like talk about play styles, getting set up in the lifestyle community, how to connect with other people, and then talking about like play time and then debriefing. Um, and it's going to be in that kind of chronological order so that you can kind of move together as it makes sense. Yeah. So there's going to be opportunity for some good conversation, some serious introspection. And of course, some of it's going to be fun and sexy. Because if you want to do this lifestyle stuff right, you can't have one without the other. Right.

I mean, you really got to think this through before you can have the sexy fun. Right. So who would benefit from this type of course? Well, as we've gotten to know our listeners, we realize that many of you guys are either not in the lifestyle but are curious or you're newbies. So the course is pretty much geared towards you.

However, we do have listeners that have dabbled and maybe struggled a little bit or they've had to take a break because of you know just life happens and and it just hasn't fit in but now they might be ready to do like a reset and try try again so the course is going to help folks like like this get back on track without that learning curve that you have to go through when you're starting from scratch with no direction. And as you all know, because you've listened to our podcast, that there's really no one right way to do the lifestyle.

You know, you have to make it your own journey and it has to fit your life, your desires, your fantasies, and your relationships. So we hope that what we're going to be able to do is provide a course that's going to be a guideline for you to help find that way, find that proper fit, that the lifestyle can be a fun and sexy enhancement to your relationship and not something that causes struggles and misunderstandings like Mr. and Mrs. Jones did when we started the lifestyle. Right. Don't, don't do what we did.

And then, and then finally, you know, we, we know that this course is going to be a financial investment for you, but we hope that you'll see it as an investment in your relationship. You know, we think that the value that the course is going to provide is threefold. First of all, we think it's going to save you some time. Um, all the resources are going to be accessed in one place in an organized fashion. It's self-paced.

So you can, you know, sit down and, and go over lesson when you have a moment and then, you know, move on to the next one after you've had an opportunity to discuss that topic together. Right. And these, I don't think we mentioned this, but these lessons are anywhere from 15 to 25 minutes long. Right. So it's nowhere near an hour and a half like our podcast is. So you're going to be able to go forward, go back. You'll always have access to this.

So if you are in the lifestyle and you've, you know, got a little bit of experience, then parts of this you can go back and look at to the beginning or you can jump to the end it's all going to be available to you all at one time right now the second part of the value here is as around how we budget our money and I think that this course is going to be valuable in that regard too because let's face it the lifestyle is a rather expensive hobby I mean we spend money on club memberships and fees and lifestyle conventions and takeovers and resort vacations and lifestyle dates and all these lifestyle websites and you can go on and on so what we hope to do is help you to make an informed decision on lifestyle activities and the ones that you want to try And then you can avoid spending money unnecessarily on resources or experiences that may not be the right fit for you.

Right. And then lastly, this investment can also help you avoid wear and tear on your relationship, which is obviously the most important asset that you have as a couple. The course is all about opening your eyes not only to the good aspects of the lifestyle, but also to the pitfalls so that you can hopefully avoid them and think about those pitfalls with an open mind and some good communication. Right. And no online course would be complete without a disclaimer at the end. Yes. And that is, as you know, we are not professional counselors.

You know, we're merely hoping to help you make an informed decision about whether or not the lifestyle is for you. So what we've done is we've put all this information on our website.

We're going to have our course available in limited quantities in the month of December next month and if you are interested in being one of the first 25 people to take our course if you'll go to our website and click on the link there to register for the course simply registering does not there's no sort of financial commitment there you're just indicating an interest in it And then we're going to give a 25% discount to those of you, those first 25 who decide to purchase the course. Right.

So once you register your interest, we will send you individual emails with a link to the course and how to register when we have it ready next month. Yeah. So, you know, we're really excited and we hope you are excited. that, you know, after thinking about it and talking about it, at least consider registering your interest so that we can let you know a little bit more about it. Right. And one of the things that we're going to benefit from for you 25 who take it first is to get the feedback from you. And it's going to be a living course. Yes.

So we want to get some feedback from you all before we open it to the general public. And we do have a brand new platform.

This is going to be a living course yes so we want to get some feedback from you all before we open it uh to the general public and we do have a brand new platform this is going to be separate from our website a learning management system and all of that needs to be integrated we're really excited about how robust it is and we think it's going to set us and set you all up for a great investment you know in a long-term, you know, commitment to be able to join this community.

And, and it's a way for you to give back too, because once you get into this community and this forum and you meet people and interact, we, I'm really excited about that part. I think as that grows, that's going to become a really cool place to meet people and talk about the lifestyle. Yep. So that's the big announcement.

And we've been working our tails off yes we have again we are learning so much about this stuff technology and yeah i mean we've got we've recorded over 30 lessons so so by the time we go to desire we're going to have all that done yes so when we come we can just relax during vacation so while we haven't been working on the course have we been doing anything fun we you know what we've been we've had a lot of fun i know so keeping up with the joneses is a pretty robust tonight yeah we had uh we had our anniversary as many of you know and thank you for the well wishes and we had a couple come into town for for a vacation and invited us out to dinner.

And it happened to be on our anniversary. So they treated us to an anniversary dinner. I know. And it was at a fancy restaurant. It was. It was so much fun. Yeah. Yeah, we had a good time. We got dressed up. And, yeah, the four of us looked pretty snazzy. Yeah. And the after-dinner party was pretty fun, too. It was. They had a beautiful hotel room. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. That was really... We had a beautiful view and just a really, really nice room. So, yeah, we had a good time. Yeah, and then we snuck in the local Halloween party, lifestyle Halloween party. Yes, we did.

We saw a lot of our friends there. Yes, that was a good time. Yeah, it was a good time. It was much better. We went to one, two years ago and this one was much better. Well, it wasn't as crowded. Um, and it was just a, you know, like everybody I was hoping to see for the most part was there. There were a couple of couples that were friends with that, that weren't there that are local. Um, but it was really, it was a good time. And we got to go a little pre-party beforehand and, uh, with some good friends and that was really fun. Yep. Everybody was dressed up. Yep. Yeah.

Then we had other friends come into town again for business and we were able to spend an afternoon with them and we went to a winery and had some fun and went downtown and had dinner and then came home and had some fun with them. Yes, we did. And these are friends that we've known for a while. Yep. So we, well, they were in town for a few days. So we went to a winery with them one day, but then we had family dinner. So then they kind of had to do their own thing. But then the next afternoon, we got together with them. Yeah, it was a twofer. Yeah, went back to their hotel room. Yeah.

That was fun. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. More of that later. Yeah. And then wouldn't you know that another couple came into town for business. We swear, it's true. This has all been legit. Like people come into D.C. a lot. There are so many conferences and conventions in D.C. Yeah. So we went out to dinner together and had a wonderful evening getting to know them. Yeah, so we had three particular weekends that we did something and then throw in the Halloween party and all this course development. It's a good thing we retired. I know. We can concentrate on what's important in life right now.

Exactly. However, the big thing is that by the time you listen to this podcast, we will be within a few hours of setting foot on Des Setting foot. Right. And desire pearl. We are dropping this podcast like the day before we get on the airplane. I think we have been planning this for at least 10 years, it seems like. I know. Well, we have been planning this with the curious couple was swinging down under for 16 months. This has been a long time coming.

Yes and and the anticipation is at a fever pitch yes it is and nobody has any expectations because they listened to our last episode and so what we are going to do tonight for a topic speaking of that is we are going to talk about the seven swinger mistakes to avoid. Or the seven sexy swinger sins. Mr. Tones doesn't like my title. That's too many asses. That's the point. It's like a tongue twister. Yeah, whatever. Swingers like tongue twisters. Yeah. So when we come back, we're going to talk about this topic specifically around desire and a trip to a lifestyle resort.

But really, it applies to any lifestyle event, whether it's a meet and greet or a hotel takeover or a party. You can make these same mistakes there. Right. Anytime you're with a group of people and you're trying to make decisions. Yes. So for those of you who are on the plane now listening to us on the way to cancun sharpen your pencils that's right and take notes that's right because you're not going to want to make these seven swinger oh sorry you're not going to want to make these seven sexy swinger sin mistakes that's right you did a good job honey honey. All right. We'll be right back.

Okay. Well, welcome back to segment two of our podcast, and we are going to go over these seven sexy swinger sins. Seven as in four plus three, because this is episode 43. Whatever. Good for you. I am just way too tickled about that. Yeah. You just think I'm a nerd, don't you? Yeah.

We had to limit this to seven i know i was gonna do 12 i was gonna do four times three yeah but we narrowed it down to seven because well because we're being positive um we're gonna go and we're gonna have a good time and and you know i wrote these for us too this is not for all of our sexy friends coming to desire this is for mr mrs jones and hopefully our friends will fall in suit we didn't write these for us we wrote these because of us because of us yes these were reflections back onto the bonehead things we've done we've made all these mistakes no kidding right so let's get into this that's right mistake number one this is what we're not going to do next week at Desire.

The first one is we are not going to hesitate. So many times, especially with Desire, people go down there and then they come back and they say, that was the perfect opportunity. I wish I would have taken that step. Yep. So a lot of times that, you know, we'll come across as being a little overly cautious. Dang it.

If you've waited 18 months or 12 months for this trip and you get a good opportunity you better take it that's right so hesitating i think another term that we used was wall flowering you know afraid afraid being afraid to approach people uh to begin the conversation that's us four years ago right um we're still not champs at at meeting people but we're much better at it now yeah i mean the meet and greet was that we struggled with was a big meet and greet and you were pushing me forward and i was pushing you forward and people were in groups and we were brand new we were intimidated and it was a short period of time yeah and we had an argument on the way home and but even at desire at first we weren't the greatest no we weren't you know we would hang out in the corner of the hot tub by ourselves or you know we'd be afraid to get in the pool and just belly up to the bar and you know you know rub shoulders with somebody we weren't very good at that at first so we're much better now so yeah don't be wallflowers and you know it you could be hesitating because one let's say one of you is nervous and then the other one um is kind of holding back out of respect to their spouse you know they don't want to push like a guy doesn't want to push his wife or the wife doesn't want to drag her husband when she knows she he doesn't want to talk to somebody yeah so let's talk about that for a minute it's we don't want you to misunderstand this because if somebody's not comfortable doing something then by all means they shouldn't right but if there's no good reason if it's desire and it's 80 degrees and you're at the hot tub and you've engaged with the couple and you all hit it off and there are no red flags and you feel really comfortable then really the only thing that's holding you back is nerves yes and so at this point in time maybe it's good that the other partner the other spouse just kind of nudges you forward a little bit right or pushes yeah we're not talking about taking one for the team because you're not interested it's just get up the nerve to start a conversation to begin with.

Right. And this could happen literally on day one, hour one, or it might happen day four or day five. Yeah. You know, so we're not saying it's going to happen right out of the chute, but hesitating is mistake number one. Right.

Um, but the, but the second part of hesitating is, okay okay so now you've met somebody and you've actually connected with them but now you gotta and this is not politically correct but you gotta pull the trigger you know somebody's got to say something to take things to the next level with a couple yes and and that hesitating can be something that you might go home on the airplane and regret as well you know what here's the i'm going to give everyone the perfect line okay when they're in this situation for the 80 couples that are going to be with us at desire if you get into a situation and you're afraid to pull the trigger because you don't know what to say just just say, excuse me a minute while I go get Mr.

and Mrs. Jones to come over and help us with this transition. It's perfect. It's an icebreaker. It's funny. And we'll be glad to come over and broker the deal for you. That's right. We might want to be part of the deal. Now, don't give away the cost. We're going to keep that little tidbit to ourselves. Okay. So that was mistake number one is hesitating. Right. What's mistake number two? Overthinking situations. Oh, did you write this one for me? Yes, I did. This is the Mr. Jones special. Yeah. I mean, taking things personally and overthinking things was my expertise. Yes Yes.

And then of course, when we do that, you know, then we fall into self-esteem issues and I'm overthinking this and why isn't anyone connecting with me or why don't they like me? And then, you know, I get my little violins out and, you know, I start moping around and then nobody wants to be around me. And then I say, do you want some cheese with that wine? Yeah. You know, poor baby. Yeah, there's a big difference between overthinking and reflecting. You know, reflecting is good, always good. Overthinking usually is bad. Because you let your imagination run wild with the facts.

And, you know, when you start to do that, then you're, it's all downhill. And I remember what happened when we first went to desire and we first got into the lifestyle and I would see you engaged with another couple like flirting. I thought at that time in my ignorance that, Oh my gosh, she's flirting with somebody.

Then that means that we want to have sex with them and they're going to think that we want to have sex with them and so I just was overthinking and imagining things and realizing that that's not how it really goes um you know so don't overthink things that's right that's right it's not worth it right mistake number three narrowing the field too much and the field too much. And you know, this is, um, you know, where you like eliminate people before you even have that first conversation with them. And you know, you, you could be eliminating them for a multitude of reasons. Yes.

You know, there's some sort of a bias in your mind, just that first visual impression of a couple, for whatever reason, it just is creating this barrier that's making you not want to talk to them. And it could be their age, it could be their size, it could be their race. You've got some sort of preconceived notion of what they're going to be like. Yeah, so let me give some direct homework assignment again here. Okay. Let's think about the KIT groups, because we kind of beat up on people in the KIT groups last episode. We did or you did? I did. Yeah.

So you could have a preconceived idea about somebody because of how they interacted in the KIT group. Right.

We're saying set that aside because remember in last episode we decided that people aren't really themselves sometimes in the kick groups so toss all that information out the window those preconceived ideas and just introduce yourself to the people yep just start over yeah so don't narrow the field too much yes because before you know it the week is going to be over and you're going to run out of options really quickly well and i'm just speaking from experience like you know you go back to that kick group thing or i even go back to like i'll go back to the age thing i hate to talk about the age thing because everybody knows which end of the spectrum i'm on but you know i'll discount somebody for some preconceived notion and then when i'm face to face with them at some sort of an event or a desire or you know maybe we've met them for dinner and then they turn out to be the most amazing people and they're nothing like i originally yes my original impression was of them right i'm like oh my gosh I'm so glad I didn't let that stop me from getting to know them.

Yeah, so the resort's going to be full to capacity. So there are how many rooms? 88. Yeah, so it's a level playing field. 87 opportunities. That's right. When you get there. Yep. Okay okay we're halfway almost what's number four oh gosh drinking too much oh this is yours oh this is totally mine so why do you not want to drink too much but yeah this podcast could end up being really really long especially on day one i know and i did i actually did that in august a little bit i okay, but I really got to the limit of my abilities. Right.

First of all, if you drink too much and you're more inebriated than the people around you, you could push people away. Yes. Because then they're going to think, oh, look at that lady. She's going to you know, she's going to be tipsy the whole week. Yeah. And I'm going to wonder like, okay, are you wanting to be with me because you're just, you've drank too much and you have your beer goggles on? Is this really something that you want to do? Did you have to drink that much to want to be with me? I'm going to ask that question. Right. Right.

And then if you're not around people that are going to look at you and say, Hmm, she's had too much to drink. I'm going to stay away from her until she sobers up. Um, the flip side of that is that the people won't stop you from what you're doing and you can make a really poor decision and do something you're going to wake up the next morning regretting. Yeah, we don't want that to happen. That is a mistake because that can ruin the rest of your time, whether it's an event or where you're there for a few days.

We were in New Orleans a couple of years ago and some good friends of ours had a bad experience and, you know, even thought about leaving to come home early. Yes. And never, you never wanted, no, that didn't have anything to do with alcohol, but the point is that, you know, too much drinking can lead to that sort of regret and you don't want to do that. Um, and also I think someone sitting across the table from me might have a story about having to end the evening prematurely because you drank too much. Oh, damn tequila. Tequila is evil.

And not only does it end the evening early for you, but it ends it for me. And you were bitter. Because I can't creep around by myself. No, you were pretty bitter. You know what? I think because we know so many people on this trip, if you do this again, I'm going to forge a hall pass. And I would deserve that, although I know you're not going to do that. However, if you see me drink too many drinks in a row, my friends out there, please stop me and get me a glass of water. Yeah. But you've already had so many people say that they're going to buy you a drink, so you're going to have to.

Well well somebody's going to have to buy me a sparkling water with lime because that's what i like to drink because water is boring but they'll do they'll do sparkling water with lime and it's refreshing and it kind of looks like a drink but it it rehydrates you yeah and it just it's going to keep everything working properly and one more thing for the guys before we get off of drinking. Oh. Too much alcohol performance issues. Yep. So please keep that in mind. Yeah. Because the days at the resorts are long. Yeah.

And if you start drinking early in the day and don't stop until the evening, you might be a non-starter. Yeah, that would be unfortunate, especially when you meet that awesome, you didn't hesitate and you met the awesome couple and all the stars are aligning properly. And then all of a sudden you have whiskey dick. Yeah, it's the worst. We don't want that. Nope. Okay. Making assumptions. Mistake number five. Yeah. Or sin number five. Making assumptions. So what do we mean by that? Well, about the possibility of play.

You know, you might assume that something is going to happen, but I think what we have to keep in mind is until there's a conversation and consent, that you shouldn't make that assumption because as I was saying alluded to earlier my fear of you flirting with somebody means that you're going to have sex with them was so and now that I look back on it it's a little bit ridiculous because you do have to get to a point where you say um okay are we going to do this or not yeah and so don't make an assumption that the pot that that possibility of play about the possibility of play you know be a good communicator um Thank you.

Yeah. And so don't make an assumption that that possibility of play, about the possibility of play, you know, be a good communicator. You know, of course, it's, you're not going to want to say that right up front, but at some point in time, if you think this is going to happen or you want this to happen, there has to be a conversation. So don't make those assumptions. Right. And then this one's really awkward. So a lot of you are coming to Desire and you're going to know some people there.

I know we've got some groups of friends that are traveling together and you get there and maybe or maybe not you've played together before, but you have a connection because you've met before. you before you might live near each other, or maybe you've, um, been on these kick groups and you've gotten together. I know there's been some meet and greets around the country and stuff.

So if you've played with a couple before and you all get to where you're going in this case, let's say desire, um, that doesn't mean that you're going to play again that's making an assumption right and maybe you don't want to play again i mean maybe if you assume you are you're eliminating the chance to play with somebody else right you know so that's that is a little bit awkward and a lot of you know each other and if you're only going to be there for four nights or five nights right you know there may be more people there that you know that you have nights for yes and you know we we just want everyone to have fun and connect and don't make assumptions yeah and how about how about this it's this is always a little bit awkward but i think we call this the morning after syndrome you know okay you did play with a couple good for you yeah and it was awesome it was awesome you had a good time you wake up the next morning and like your feet aren't even touching the ground you're just skipping along because you're so happy right and that let's say that that's day number two what do you do in the morning when you run into the couple again well I mean we always hug them and kiss them and good morning and how you doing today and you're gonna play volleyball later and that kind of stuff well we're saying it shouldn't be like it should it should be like groundhog day yeah like every day is a new day right you get up and up and acknowledge them, speak to them, hug them.

But you shouldn't make the assumption that you're going to play with them every night for the rest of the vacation. Right. So, yeah. So where I was headed with that is you don't need to stick by their side the whole following day. Right. You know, you kind of have to keep, you know, moving along. You don't want to ignore them. I mean, especially if you had a good time. Maybe if you had a bad time, you might want to.

But, you know moving along you don't want to ignore them i mean especially if you had a good time maybe if you had a bad time you might want to but yeah you know hopefully you've had a good time um you know you just kind of take a breath keep things in perspective and and realize that there's 80 other couples there to get to know and and if you do want to play with them again that's fine but just make sure the feeling's mutual and that you're not missing out on other opportunities. Yeah. And you know, who comes to mind when I think about this? Who? Us. The very first trip to Desire. I know.

We were terrible. I know. We stayed with the same couple all week. And we had a blast. We did have a blast. Yeah.

I don't think we, I mean, I think think they were just as guilty as we were i don't think either one of us regrets it but we didn't open our minds to any other possibilities after that okay that was mistake number five number six not pulling the plug when needed yeah we've talked about this before but it really is especially when you get to a place like this you get to an event you've been waiting for a long time it's your summer vacation okay so how about this one if you know that you've been like hanging out with a couple and you can tell that they're not interested oh right you kind of just have to let them.

You know, you want to play with them, but they're just kind of noncommittal towards you. Yeah. Just cut them loose. Yeah, you get out your little waterproof spreadsheet that you had and you take your grease pencil and you cross them off your list and you go on to the next one. Grease pencil? How many years has it been since I've seen a grease pencil?

Well, I'm just saying in that you're in the water that's true you gotta use something that's that's gonna stick yeah that's true um you know and it and it's better to do that earlier rather than later it's always better to pull the plug on something when you notice that there's no a lack of interest rather than trying to pursue it or wasting your time and their time for the rest of the day. Right. And then vice versa. You know, if you're not interested in a couple, but they, they are really, um, trying hard to connect to you.

Um, you know, of course you want to be nice to them and not hurt their feelings, but at the same time, you've got to find a way to disengage. Okay, how about this? Here's your secret word to me when you want another couple You cannot say the secret word people are on the airplane right now. Here's what I want you to say. What? Mr. Jones can you get me another La Cour 43?

Yeah And when I hear you say that then that's the clue, that's the hint that we need to get out of there because i'm sure nobody heard that yeah so if any of you hear this next week yeah but you know what what we've seen pictures and met a whole lot of these people i hope you wouldn't be saying that very much no i don't think you're gonna be saying that either no right and you know a lot of especially women you know being too nice when you're not interested I mean there's there's a difference between being respectful and being nice yes yeah being nice is almost being too nice is um I don't know that's that's letting your guard down and that and that's turning into something that you're not in order to hurt not to hurt somebody's feelings right because then you're going to end up hurting yourself yeah and being respectful is more of excusing yourself you know and just wandering off and starting a conversation somewhere else yep so don't try to be too nice but be polite and respectful respectful, especially to me.

I have a fragile ego. He does. And even if it's in the middle of play. This is the important one. Yeah. In the middle of play. Because you didn't listen to the first two comments that we made, and you were too nice, and you started playing. Even in the middle of play, don't be afraid to pull the plug. That's right. If necessary.

If you're in over your your head you just have to call a timeout and and end it right and i think everybody will appreciate that in the long run yes especially you yes okay one more sin sex sexies what is it this is not so hard seven sexy swinger sin number seven yes okay what's number seven this is a really big one so we saved kind of the big one for last not staying on the same page with your partner yes and that's so easy to do at at a big event yeah you know okay here's here's when it can happen at desire at the volleyball court oh yeah because you don't play volleyball no i don't and i do yeah and then the cute girls playing volleyball next to me yeah and we get to talking oh although when i'm playing volleyball you're flirting with somebody in the pool that's true so you're going one direction i'm going another direction we are not on the same page.

No, we're not. Even when you're doing the water basketball or the water polo, I usually hang out by the bar and watch, and I've met some pretty cute guys. Yeah, that's okay. That's okay. I think what we're saying is that when that happens, then I need to bring you in and introduce and start from the beginning. Right. And not make an assumption that, hey, I'm connected with her.

i don't even know what her husband looks like or where he is but i'm just going to assume that you're going to be okay with him right right so that's how i met our sexy friends from peru was uh by myself while you were playing water basketball yeah that was a good job yeah i know and i i brought you right in yeah um and be. This can happen if you're not completely honest with your partner or yourself. You know, if you go along, if somebody, you know, if I were to come up and introduce a couple to you and you're just nice and you go along with it, you know, you're not being honest with me.

You need to tell me, you know, that you're not interested or, you know, that we have a date with somebody else or that we have this to do oh gosh we've done that oh yeah I mean like I remember I was like straight in my hair we were getting ready to go to dinner and I wanted to hang out with one couple that night and you wanted to hang out with another one yeah and it it got downright testy it did because we never really got to the underlying issue no of that because you want i wouldn't be honest i was trying to manipulate this oh my gosh i just did that in new orleans too i'm a manipulator strike two mrs jones i feel kind of bad now okay and both times i wouldn't i wouldn't use my words i know so i'm the one guilty of this i know but i but i i i think i knew what you wanted to do yeah but yeah you had to say it yeah and you didn't yeah so you have to be honest with yourself so because if you're not um do it while you're still there at the event where you still have time to salvage the rest of the week.

Don't wait till the plane ride home. Oh no. Like we did. Yeah. And you know, staying on the same page is critical. You should never assume that your partner is interested. Yes. And I'm probably more guilty of that because I'll meet a girl or a woman and i could give a crap what her husband looks like i'm just well not looks like but i just make an assumption that that i'll be connected here's here's a target yeah yeah oh good see you're not perfect either shoo no no that's why we have podcast. That's how we come up with so much content. I know. Because we screwed everything up.

That's the motivation for the course. Yeah, yeah. To save you so you won't have to start your own podcast because you made so many mistakes. Okay. Well, those are the seven sexy swinger sins. You know, there's definitely more out there, but we just tried to kind of pick the, the seven that we've committed for sure.

And, and seven that would likely come up in any kind of a group setting, whether it's a meet and greet or a lifestyle club or a lifestyle hotel takeover, gosh, it could be anything like so whether it's desire pearl whether it's a swinger cruise whether it's not in new orleans whether it's a lifestyle club whether it's a meet and greet any of these sins apply to situations like in events like that yep for sure it can even be a date i mean it's anytime you and you're really it all comes down to not staying on the same page with your partner and you know this is a team sport okay there's let's just be real what there are benefits from having a podcast because people know us that's true and it's easy for us to get to know people because you us.

Well, we don't have to yap so much when we get to know people because people know our stories, so we get to listen. Right. That's kind of fun. Well, there's a downside to having a podcast, too. What's that? That means if we make any of these mistakes next week, people are going to be calling us out on it as hypocrites. As they should. As they should. We're going to have to be on our best behavior. Didn't I hear you say in episode so-and-so that you shouldn't be doing this? I'm like, I'm guilty. Yeah, we're going to be on our best behavior, I promise. Yeah. Okay, enough with the sins.

When we come back, we're going to talk about something sexy. Yes, we are. Snapshots. Welcome back to our We'll see you next time.

welcome back to our snapshot segment i think our snapshots are pretty sexy tonight mine is well mine's funny but it's still sexy oh it is yeah okay so our friends were in town you go first oh okay i'll go first so our friends were in town and we went out to dinner with them and we walked around the city a little bit and enjoyed the evening and um walked back to their hotel and went up to the hotel and had some adult beverages and sat around and talked for a while and then we started playing and um we you and the other lady started playing together and you guys gravitated over towards the bed yes and you were occupied so the other husband and i started playing and there was a sofa and an ottoman in the hotel room as well so he and i were kind of over there and we were honey huh we were occupied she was giving me a blow job what i don't even know what she was doing because i was busy okay so that's what was happening i'm just being specific okay good so he and i started playing and then he wanted to uh uh, we, well, we started having sex and I said, well, what position do you want to start in?

And he said, how about you lean over the Ottoman? So I said, okay. And I was a little too short for him. So I kneeled up on the Ottoman to be a couple inches higher. And so I was kneeling on the ottoman and then holding on to the ottoman with my hands. So he started doing me doggy style. The ottoman was on wheels. Oops.

So he was trying to like thrust into me, but then he was holding onto my shoulders to hold me back because he kept scooting me forward on the ottoman with the wheels and it was hilarious well didn't you eventually like hit the wall or the couch or something well i i don't know well we he was doing a good job i mean but it was just like twice as much ever for him because he would have to thrust and then hold my shoulders to like pull me back as he bumped me forward I don't know.

I mean, but it was just like twice as much ever for him because he would have to thrust and then hold my shoulders to like pull me back as he bumped me forward. So yeah, so I was eventually scooting towards the window after a while. So after a while, I just started laughing. I'm like, this stupid thing is moving too much. So then we moved onto the couch and then, so I kneeled on the couch and then we did more doggy on the couch, which was much better because the couch was stationary. That's funny.

But then we decided that we wanted to come over to the bed to lay down and we walk over to the bed and the two of you were laying perfectly diagonally on the bed. Well, you were using the ottoman.

Well, we were, but then we we wanted to come over to the bed and we moved over like four inches i was in the middle of something so the so that i laid down like because you were the one that was in the middle she was kind of on the other side and i didn't figure our friend wanted to like lay right up against your naked body so i laid down so i was like scooted all the way up against you and i was trying to make room for him to lay down on the bed and he didn't even have room to lay down and like i'm scooting over like trying to bump you with my butt and you were completely oblivious to the fact that you were taking up the whole freaking bed honey how did this turn into a complaint against me this is supposed to be a snapshot it was funny because then he and i were laughing and we're like okay well the hotman's like scooting across the room and you know now we're trying to get on the bed and they won't you wouldn't even let us on the bed you should be blaming her oh well because i was so disoriented i had no idea where i was on the bed oh it looked like you were having fun i could have been laying on the floor or the chair i don't know remember I don't remember so i should have just kicked you off the bed onto the floor then yeah or you should you could have tapped her on the shoulder because if she stopped then i would have regained my wits and i would have moved over you can't blame me for that i'm not blaming you she's good at what she does obviously obviously it looked like you two were having a very good time i could you know i think it's a little rude that you did that you could have waited oh my gosh that was a big that was a big ottoman you you were rude it was not a big you were rude to our friends She was in the middle of something, and you disrupted that.

Oh, gosh. So he and I eventually found our place on the bed, and everything was just fine after that. Okay. But yeah, we kind of had to fight for it, I swear. All right, good. That's a good snapshot. Well, my snapshot has to do with furniture, too. Okay. Yeah. So for our anniversary, I decided to, I had seen this sex chair on Twitter, and I looked into it, and there's a company called Revel Furniture, and they make the Essence sex chair.

So I decided I wanted to get one of those for you for our anniversary yep and it came in just a few days late well i can't this semi tractor trailer pulled up in front of our house and i'm like what in the world yeah it's your anniversary gift yeah so i brought it in and um it is it's kind of liberator shaped. It's beautiful. It is. First of all, it's handmade. Yes. And the handcrafted and the material that's used is high quality. And that's what I'm going to get to in a minute. But it's shaped like a liberator and it's adjustable. So it slides up and down so you can get the perfect position.

And you almost feel when you're sitting in this chair and it's like so it slides up and down so you can get the perfect position and you almost feel when you're sitting in this chair and it's like a lounge chair but you almost feel like zero gravity you feel a little bit weightless when you get it at the right angle and so and it has a bench it has a little stool that's in front of it an ottoman again your ottoman that's true and it's it's curved too and it's contoured to fit the front of the chair I'll see you next time.

an ottoman again you're ottoman that's true and it's it's curved too and it's contoured to fit the front of the chair and i'm gonna tell you more about the actual website in a minute but at any rate you were so my snapshot is when you and i were using this chair and you were laying down on the chair and i positioned it it's it's perfectly designed for having sex because it's not too wide you know we do have another um lounge chair but it's really wide and we and you can't you you spread your legs apart but you don't you can't right it's a big overstuffed chase lounge yeah yeah well this is very narrow so i was able to tilt it at an angle so that I straddled you and...

Oh, I was using my new vibrator. Yeah, you were using your vibrator on yourself and I straddled you and I was in the perfect position to go in your mouth. Yes. And when I realized that this chair was so awesome is that when I was leaning over you, over your mouth, in order to keep my balance, I put my hands on the very top of the back of the chair. And I leaned forward with all of my weight. And that thing did not budge. And it was almost the perfect position. It was almost like being weightless.

And I was inside of you you were laying your you were comfortable yes i wasn't having to hold my head up and everything was at like the right angle yeah and you were and you were able to reach your vibrator and reach yourself oh yeah because the chair was really narrow yeah and it's a it's amazing it's it's indescribable, you know, like I said, we don't, we don't usually review or endorse things unless we've tried them ourselves. But after we tried that chair and we we've only used it once, there's a whole lot more. Well, we're going to use it twice in about 20 minutes. Oh, how about 10?

I'll cut this short. Uh, but anyway, we, I was able to do a blow job. You were able to do a blow job on me without me being uncomfortable and without you being uncomfortable and you were able to use the vibrator on yourself. And so that snapshot of me just holding onto that chair and leaning forward a little bit was probably the most comfortable position I've ever been in yeah for. For that. For sure. So what I did after that is I contacted. Whoa. Back up the train. What? That was not the end of the sex session. No, that was my snapshot. Then what happened? Well, then I got down on the chair.

Yeah. On my back. And then you did reverse cowboy. I did regular cowgirl.girl i was on top yeah you did cowgirl and i am not a tall person and i was able to straddle the chair yeah and comfortably stand straddling the chair over top of you yeah and and be able to i did all the movement you just laid there. Right. And it was so easy. And then I turned to, I did all the movement. You just laid there. Right. And it was so easy. And then I turned around and I did reverse cowgirl. And then I bent over and put my hands on the ottoman. Yeah. And, and again, it was so easy. Yeah.

So yeah, it, it was awesome. It's an impressive piece of equipment. It sure is. so what we did was we contacted Kevin and Aaron the owners of Revel Furniture, and told them how much we enjoyed the chair. And we asked them if they would give our listeners a discount. Yep, so we've partnered with them. They agreed. So they're going to give a 5% discount plus free shipping on this amazing chair.

So we're going to have actually the newsletter that I just sent out this week, there was a link to their website, but I'm also going to put it on our website and I'm going to put it in the show notes for the podcast. Highly recommend Revel Furniture, R-E-V-E-L, and it's the Essence sex chair. I want you to take a look at it. Their website has a couple of models, and they're demoing some positions. But I think the great thing about it is if you're creative, the ideas are limitless as to what, especially if you get more than two people. Yeah. And it does not look like a piece of sex furniture.

No. It looks like a contemporary chair that you would read in or something. Right. You know, so you can, you don't have to hide it. So, I mean, you can order what color you want. It comes in, the fabric comes in different colors and the wood comes in different colors. So you can just make it fit your decor and it's, it's very beautiful. Yeah, we'll have to put a picture of it up on Twitter. Highly recommend. And we don't recommend things lightly. We're going to give it a go here in a minute. But please check them out when you can. So that's the snapshots. Yes. So before we close out.

We are going back to Desire.

We haven haven't even gone yet but we're going to go back next year do you know that we've had people book for both the june week and the november week really already all right yeah so we are definitely going to go on the desire cruise we got that worked out yep with desire um we are going to go to pearl the week of the 23rd through the 30th of june and we're going to go back to pearl november the 10th through the 17th yes and we don't have we have information from desire they are going to throw in uh free airport transfers if you book through us and they haven't sent us the the banner and link to do that yet, but they're working on that and they're going to get it.

Yep. So whatever offer they happen to be, um, whatever discounts they happen to be offering those weeks, you can take advantage of. Plus if you book through us, you're going to be able to get the airport transfers for free. Right.

And June and November are usually pretty um affordable months to go um they they normally offer some really good discounts those two months yes and then the cruise um i think periodically they offer different kinds of deals and we have a link on our website to book the cruise through us as well um through our affiliate link and um that is going to be amazing i am so excited to do a lifestyle cruise finally i know 2018 is going to be a lot of fun right but 2017 first because i know i know you have a trip coming up okay well thank you for joining us for episode liqueur 43 yes um if you you'd like to email me, my email address is mrjones, M-R-J-O-N-E-S, at wegotathing.com.

Or mrsjones at wegotathing.com. And our website is wegotathing.com, W-E-G-O-T-T-A-T-H-I-N-G. And we've made some changes to our website. We now have a link directly to the newsletter subscription. And we have a link to where you can register your interest in our Navigating Your Lifestyle Journey course. Yes. And we also have some new desire banners if you want to book through there. And Mrs. Jones has a brand new blog post out. You can find that on our website as well.

You follow us on twitter at we got a thing and please if you are on cassidy join our cassidy community and listen if you're in virginia or dc or maryland or even pennsylvania and north carolina join our Cassidy community because we have a meet and greet this weekend and we invited people through our Cassidy community. And I think there are a whole lot of other people out there that might want to go. If you'll just register, if you're on Cassidy, if you'll just join our community, just search for We Got a Thing.

Join our community and we'd love to have you a part of our community locally so that we can invite you to our next meet and greet. That's right. Anything else, Mrs. Jones, or we should go pack? No, we're not going to pack. We're going to go have sex on our new chair. Oh, okay. Well then, thanks for listening. We are Mr. and Mrs. Jones, and we got a thing. What's your thing? We'll see you next time.